THE NANNY TIME BOMB

Children and Grief

2012-01-30T17:58:00.000-08:00

Originally posted and created here: http://bestnannynewsletter.blogspot.com/

By H.J. Fracaro

Most children have an encounter with death, whether it’s the death of a pet, grandparent, friend, or parent. Children of different ages understand death to varying degrees and express their sadness in different ways.

Babies and toddlers under age two cannot comprehend death but are upset by the change in routine and the emotions of the people around them. They may cry more often, have difficulty sleeping, throw fits, rock back and forth, or have tummy trouble due to anxiety. The best way to offer comfort is to maintain their routine, offer lots of physical contact like cuddling, and be patient and gentle with the behavior changes.

Preschool age children can understand when something is dead, however they think it is a temporary state like sleeping and can be reversed; much like the characters in the cartoons they watch. They may ask questions repeatedly such as, “When is Grandma coming back?” or “What is Grandma doing right now?” Answer these questions as simply and honestly as possible. Acting out the events surrounding the death, such as playing hospital, or crashing toy cars can also be a behavior associated with grief. Crying, withdrawing, nightmares, fighting and regression, such as baby talk, thumb sucking, or bed wetting are also common. Allow these behaviors and encourage play and fun.

Kids six- to 12-years old have a more adult concept of death. They understand the body has ceased to function and the person will not be coming back. They are also capable of thinking of the future, realizing their loved one won’t be attending their future birthdays, graduation, or wedding. They worry their angry thoughts or bad behaviors could have caused the death and are aware it could happen again. Often they worry what will happen if their caregiver were to die. Common reactions to grief include regression, denial, poor or markedly improved performance in school, aggression, being protective of loved ones, and nightmares.

Teenagers have the same reactions as the previous age group but also ponder their own mortality, hide their feelings to appear strong and can utilize spirituality to cope. They may fight, scream, argue, engage in high risk behavior, change their eating habits, and change their group of friends.

With teenagers and children of any age, include them in the rituals of grieving but do not force them to participate. Having a separate mourning ritual such as releasing balloons, lighting candles, or creating a memory book can often offer closure and comfort to the child without being overwhelming.

Above all remember to be available when they want to talk or just spend time together so they are reminded they are not alone and are loved.

ORIGINAL SOURCE: http://bestnannynewsletter.blogspot.com/2012/01/what-to-expect-if-there-is-death-in.html

Latin America's working class pushes back against inequality

2012-01-29T08:13:00.000-08:00

SOURCE: http://www.alaskadispatch.com/article/latin-americas-working-class-pushes-back-against-inequality

Sara Miller Llana, Steven Bodzin | The Christian Science Monitor | Jan 28, 2012

When parking attendant Hugo Enrique Vera was beaten by a wealthy client in Mexico, allegedly for refusing to show the man where to find the jack in his car, the surveillance camera captured a stereotype dating to colonial times: The wealthy resident asserts authoritarian control over the worker, who takes the beating without question.

But there was a twist: Mr. Vera filed a criminal complaint and condemned his perpetrator on national news, unleashing a charged debate about callousness toward the working class.

For two decades, social movements in Latin America have centered on indigenous rights. Today the indigenous have earned new political representation, and open mistreatment will draw complaints.

Yet daily life across Latin America is replete with symbols of stubborn class inequality that go unchallenged, such as condominium buildings that have separate elevators for domestic workers.

Such constant reinforcement of status differences helps to cement class privileges in what the United Nations has said is the world's most unequal region.

While maids in crisp uniforms and parking valets at every urban venue aren't about to disappear, they and other la-borers are increasingly better-educated and aspire to move into the middle class.

Less tolerant of abuse and discrimination, these maids and nannies, doormen and gardeners are demanding more pay and benefits and a baseline of respect.

"There's democratization in the political arena, participation, and citizenship rights ... [and] moderate economic development. So in this context, citizens start feeling they have the right to be seen as what they are – citizens," says Florencia Torche, a sociology professor at New York University and Catholic University in Santiago, Chile.

An apology is offered

The parking attendant controversy, which went viral on YouTube and drew a public apology by perpetrator Miguel Sacal, wasn't an isolated event. Last summer, Mexicans were outraged after two upper-middle-class women in a rich district of Mexico City were caught on video calling a police officer a "crappy wage slave." The daughter of the leading presidential candidate caused an uproar in December after retweeting a message calling her father's opponents "a bunch of idiots who are part of the prole," a reference to the proletariat, or poor people.

"There is less tolerance for discrimination by society," says Raúl Villamil Uriarte, an anthropologist at the Metropolitan Autonomous University in Mexico City. In the case of the parking attendant who brought attention to his own case, he adds, the classic "victim" devictimized himself.

Changes in the maid's quarters

Nowhere is more change taking place than in the domestic sphere. While in the United States only the wealthy can afford live-in nannies and daily housecleaning, in Latin America, maid's quarters are ubiquitous, even in the homes of the middle class.

But newer apartments increasingly are built without such spaces – reflecting upheaval in the structure of the home.

In Chile, maids and nannies are demanding bigger salaries and more benefits and insisting on living with their own families, says Monica Escandon, who runs the nanny and maid service Nana.cl in Santiago. "[Domestic workers] know that their work has a high value and that they are necessary, especially for young couples who both work," she says.

Salaries have risen to at least $500 a month for a nanny who works five days a week and as much as $800 a month for a live-in maid, she says. Employers are also responsible for taxes, food, and transportation. As in the US, wealthier Latin Americans now hire immigrants from poorer countries like Peru, Bolivia, and Paraguay to get the same amount of work for lower prices.

The rising wages and greater emphasis on professionalization is resulting in greater respect. When a popular gossip magazine in Colombia recently ran a picture of servants in uniform standing behind their wealthy employer, the depiction set off a storm of rebuke.

In Chile, meanwhile, a country club last month barred nannies from entering the pool with their young charges and said they had to wear their uniforms while on the premises. The club owners have faced a barrage of recriminations, with critics calling them snobs and classists.

'Respect comes first'

Fighting back has come later for the working class in general than it did for the indigenous, says Christopher Sabatini, editor in chief of the policy journal Americas Quarterly in New York. For one thing, the working class did not have the advantage of identifying along ethnic and geographical boundaries.

But economics and the democratizing influence of social media have given them an edge: With positive economic growth across Latin America, poverty falling, more access to credit, and many entering the middle class – 56 million households have joined the middle class in Latin America in the past decade and a half, according to the UN Economic Commission for Latin America and the Caribbean – class is less static than it once was.

"The rigid status hierarchies of the past are starting to clash with notions of quality of opportunities," says Mr. Sabatini.

Pilar Montes, a maid who works in the upscale Santiago district of Las Condes, says that if she were mistreated, "I'd be out the door in a flash. Respect comes first."

Ms. Montes travels more than two hours each way to work for $700 a month – better pay than she earned previously as a waitress, saleswoman, or cook. But she says she would discourage her children from choosing a similar career. They are all in school, with one studying accounting and another starting nursing school. "One has to keep moving up," she says.

That sentiment is reflected in data from Brazil, where 39 million people joined the middle class between 2003 and 2011. The government's economic research institute, IPEA, said in a May 2011 report that while domestic workers remain underpaid and undereducated, they are improving slowly on both fronts.

That fact might be behind a shift that shows that young people under 30 made up a smaller share of domestic workers in 2009 than they did in 1999, indicating that fewer young people are entering the field.

Marcelo Neri, an economist at the Getulio Vargas Foundation in Rio de Janeiro, says that the income of domestic workers increased 5.05 percent per year from 2003 to 2009, compared with 1.16 percent for employers; those receiving social security rose from 20 percent in 1995 to 31 percent in 2009. And they are not alone: From construction workers to waiters, all groups have seen improvement in their lives, from better pay to more respect.

Discrimination persists

The working class is still vulnerable. Arturo Alvarado, a sociologist at the College of Mexico in Mexico City, says that discrimination will persist as long as there is a supply of low-skilled labor working without proper contracts.

He says workers in many offices in Mexico must be submissive just to keep their jobs. But he agrees that changes are afoot.

Ms. Torche sees it as a longer-term dynamic toward more egalitarianism, but that it is fraught with contradictions, especially because political inclusion has outpaced economic equality.

"It is not going to be linear," she says. "[But] we have more political and economic integration and educational expansion. Many more people are exposed to the educational system and are learning what they deserve as citizens of a nation....

"Low-qualification labor is becoming scarce," she adds. "The Latin American elite will have to get used to it."

MY NANNY WON'T HOLD MY BABY

2012-01-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

"I’ve recently gone back to work so we had to get a nanny for our 4 month old. A friend of ours loves her nanny and our babies are about the same age so we have decided to do a nanny share where the woman watches both babies. I thought that this was working out really well until recently when I learned that the nanny doesn’t hold my baby very much.

My friend’s daughter is much louder and needier than my son so it seems like he is getting the short end of the stick. When they go out, the nanny has my friend’s baby in the Bjorn while my son is stuck in the stroller. And when it’s feeding time she has the girl in her arms with a bottle while my son is, once again, stuck in the swing or bouncer!

I’m really worried that my child isn’t getting enough physical contact! Am I being overly paranoid and high maintenance? The nanny is really great in every other way!"

COMMENTS

It seems to me that your concern is warranted. The sense of touch is the primary way a mother or caregiver communicates with her baby. And given that the skin is the largest sense organ, this makes it extremely important. Studies have shown that touch helps in both the growth of the body and the brain, and can even aid in digestion. Physical contact, such as holding, hugging, and massaging, creates a sense of security and attachment that helps babies to blossom.

That being said, attachment studies have also shown that it’s more about quality contact than quantity. So your real concern should be if the nanny is able to give your son the quality interaction he deserves. Does she respond to him immediately when he needs it? Does she talk to him? Does she hold him other times of the day? Certainly, if he were in daycare this would be the case. And there are thousands/millions of children who thrive in that environment.

It’s time to have a serious heart-to-heart with your nanny. Because, not only is she in charge of your most precious bundle of joy, but she is also being paid to be a nanny – not a daycare. And taking this one step further, you really have to listen to your gut. You are your son’s mother. You know him best. If this situation doesn’t make you feel comfortable, then change it. There’s no need to throw around labels like “high maintenance” when it comes to your child. You want what is best for him. Even if that means getting a nanny just for him.

Good Luck,

Tonya, TMH

Here are a few interesting articles on the subject:

Brain Development in Childhood

How Important is Physical Contact With Your Infant?

Stimulation and Development During Infancy: Tuning in to Your Baby’s Cues

And this book is an amazing resource*:

What’s Going on in There? How The Brain and Mind Develop in The First Five Years of Life by Lisa Eliot, PhD

SOURCE: http://www.mouthyhousewives.com/kids/help-my-nanny-wont-hold-my-baby

Woman Claims Bank Worker Enslaved Her

2012-01-27T08:58:00.000-08:00

WASHINGTON (CN) - A Bolivian woman claims a World Bank employee enslaved her after luring her to the United States to work as a nanny. (image below not representative of story)

By RYAN ABBOTT

Virginia Carazani sued Emma Zegarra in Federal Court, alleging human trafficking, slavery and breach of contract. Carazani claims Zegarra gave her a contract "which promised reasonable working conditions and decent pay," but when she got here, Zegarra "completely disregarded the contract" and forced her "to work around the clock, seven days a week" for absolutely nothing. Carazani, 35, Zegarra, of Vienna, Va., first employed her in Bolivia, paying her $100 a month to care for her two children and do household chores.

In 2006, Zegarra took a job with the World Bank, and promised Carazani $7 an hour and a five-day work week with health insurance for her and her young son, plus overtime and sick leave if she would move to the United States to work for the family, according to the complaint.

However, "Immediately upon Ms. Carazani's arrival in the United States, the defendant confiscated Ms. Carazani's passport and papers, as well as the legal documents for her minor son. Ms. Carazani was unable to leave Zegarra's home without passports for herself or her son," according to the complaint.

Carazani says Zegarra forced her to work as a domestic servant without pay for 3 three, and constantly threatened and intimidated her to keep her quiet. "In the entire three-year period, Zegarra never paid Ms. Carazani," the complaint states. "All the work that Ms. Carazani performed in Zegarra's home was uncompensated, forced labor. "For the three years that she was held in involuntary servitude in the Zegarra home, Ms. Carazani received no vacation time, no sick days, and no time off."

Carazani says she didn't get the health insurance either. When she got sick, she says, Zegarra "dropped her off alone at an emergency room. When the hospital bills arrived, Zegarra forced Ms. Carazani to request money from her own family members to cover the bills." Carazani says she was held prisoner in the Zegarra house, and threatened with deportation when she asked questions about her pay.

"In an effort to terrify Ms. Carazani, the defendant told Ms. Carazani that a device in her World Bank office allowed Zegarra to listen to Ms. Carazani's phone conversations in the home," the complaint states. "The belief that all of her telephone calls were monitored prevented Ms. Carazani from telling her family about the abuse she was suffering in the United States. By instilling fear in Ms. Carazani, the Defendant kept Ms. Carazani isolated from the outside world. Ms. Carazani was unable to tell anyone she was being held in forced labor."

She says she was forced to work "approximately 75 hours each week" cooking, cleaning and caring for Zegarra's now-adolescent kids. Zegarra promised to depositing her wages into bank account for Carazani, but deposited only $8.50 for her entire 3 years of servitude, Carazani says. "Zegarra, when angry, would scream, throw plates and slam doors. Zegarra routinely became enraged when Ms. Carazani asked for her wages," according to the complaint. Carazani says she rescued by a good Samaritan and the FBI.

She seeks wages due and punitive damages for human trafficking, slavery, unjust enrichment and infliction of emotional distress. She is represented by Julie Carpenter with Jenner & Block. A search of the World Bank website for Emma Zegarra this morning was not productive.

SOURCE: http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/01/27/43401.htm

French Nanny Boom

2012-01-25T10:05:00.000-08:00

Halle Berry's Nanny fears Halle's Ex

2012-01-25T10:03:00.000-08:00

Halle Berry's nanny -- who Gabriel Aubry allegedly pushed into a door while she was holding his daughter Nahla -- just got shut down in court -- the judge rejected her request for a restraining order.

Alliance Kamdem claimed she feared retaliation by Aubry, but the judge called her petition "insufficient and speculative."

In her declaration, Kamdem raised more issues than the alleged incident last week, in which she claimed Aubry pushed her out the door while she was holding Nahla. Kamdem cites another alleged incident in June in which she claims Gabriel violently pushed her out a door.

Kamdem claims during a recent trip to Spain where Halle was shooting a movie, Gabriel "would walk over and violently grab/take Nahla away from me."

She also said Gabriel didn't like her from the moment she began her duties as a nanny last June. She claims Gabriel said, "You are a spy," and "Nahla doesn't like you, she doesn't want you here."

The judge said Kamdem's issues should be resolved in family court.

TMZ broke the story ... Gabriel is currently being investigated for child endangerment and battery -- after allegedly pushing Kamdem into a door while she held Nahla in her arms.

Kamdem filed a police report after the incident, claiming Gabriel had injured her. She has since quit the nanny position.

'I saw your nanny': Do you report on bad babysitters?

2012-01-25T09:55:00.000-08:00

By Diana K. Sugg

I was busy tailing my 18-month-old and 3-year-old boys around the playground that afternoon, so at first I didn’t notice the nannies chatting on the bench. But I gradually realized that, for most of an hour, as the nannies talked and laughed, they weren’t watching their little ones.

One toddler picked up a dirty food wrapper off the ground. He was about to pop it into hismouth when I stopped him. Another toddler who needed a steadying hand clambered awkwardly, alone, over a concrete barrier and fell hard on the sidewalk. Later, she began running full-speed at the swing set, where I was pushing one of my boys. I managed to grab her before she got conked on the head.

“She could have gotten hurt,” I instinctively yelled over to the nanny group.

Walking home, I mulled it over. I didn’t know the families. I didn’t know the nannies. I’d only seen them for a few hours. Maybe they were terrific most of the time. There are certainly many wonderful nannies. Maybe it was none of my business. Who was I to say something to the parents?

But shouldn’t someone say something?

It’s a common dilemma, and a heated one. And with the Internet, there are more ways than ever to report on those nannies, with websites like I Saw Your Nanny posting dozens of sightings of bad care.

After finding out that my husband had seen the same type of care, and hearing that other parents had nicknamed these nannies “the benchwarmers,” because they rarely got off the bench, I decided I should do something. It seemed like a safety issue. Besides, I told myself, if the situation were reversed, I would want someone to tell me.

Through the neighborhood’s email group, I found the parents. I wrote them a short note saying I’d seen their nannies with their children and wanted to pass along some information. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but I was surprised when they cut me off before I could tell them what happened.

“I’m completely comfortable with the level of supervision of our nanny,” one mom said in her curt email reply. The other mom wrote that the nanny had been in their family for years. End of conversation.

The “I saw your nanny” conversation is always emotionally charged because even if women think that there’s nothing wrong with having a nanny, on some level, many still feel guilty that they’re not at home with their child, said Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and TODAY contributor. She noted that mothers spend hours and hours trying to find the right caregiver. They’ve bonded with that person and invested in her.

“They have chosen all this time to allow their most precious thing to be under the care of this person,” Saltz said, “and so if you saying they’re not providing good care, in a sense, they feel their own mothering is being personally attacked.”

And it's hard to know when to speak up. Families have different child-rearing philosophies, so what's right -- or wrong -- for one parent may not be for another. Anyone, whether nanny or mother, can get distracted or just have a bad afternoon.

"Everybody makes mistakes, mothers make mistakes,” Saltz added. “That a nanny would make a mistake does not mean that she’s a bad nanny necessarily. But it might.”

As an expert and a mother of three, her criteria for reporting it to another mother are simple: if it’s egregious, if it’s a safety issue, or if it were something you would want to know yourself.

“Many mothers say to me this happened, and they’re torn about what to do, or how to feel,” Saltz said.

Saltz has experienced both sides. Years ago, when her kids were younger, she approached two of her friends when she saw problems with their nannies: one listened and thanked her. The other mother told her she had misread the situation and didn’t believe her.

Then the day arrived when someone reported a problem to Saltz, telling her that her own nanny wasn’t picking up her daughter when she cried. Saltz discussed it with the nanny and discovered something important: they had different philosophies. The nanny believed in self-soothing; Saltz wanted her baby girl picked up. The nanny agreed to do it the way Saltz wanted it – only later, her friend once again saw the nanny letting the child cry. Saltz let the nanny go.

Turnabout came for me a few months after I’d reported those nannies at the park. A friend said that while my babysitter was trying to get the stroller out the front door, both of my boys had bolted halfway down the block. My first reaction was to feel judged – and defensive of the woman I’d hired.

I talked with my babysitter, and we wound up identifying a new problem with my younger son – that when he saw a chance, he was beginning to just run off. We came up with a different routine for leaving the house, and my son was safer.

I wonder sometimes if I was too forward in contacting mothers I didn’t know, or if maybe days or weeks later, my emails prompted a similar conversation with their nannies. I know that, for me, even though it was a little unsettling, I was grateful someone spoke up. In the big world out there, we all need to watch out for each other, and for our kids.

Diana K. Sugg is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who has covered medicine, crime and other issues for newspapers around the country. She is now a freelance writer in Baltimore raising two young sons.

"Like" TODAY Moms on Facebook, and follow us @TodayMoms

Harold Perrineau and Other Hollywood Parents and Children Support Today's "Help"

2012-01-24T08:53:00.000-08:00

SOURCE: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-feris/harold-perrineau-and-othe_b_1224080.html

My grandmother was a domestic worker," said actor Harold Perrineau (Lost), co-host of the #BeTheHelp Children's Art Party presented by the National Domestic Workers Alliance (NDWA) in Los Angeles this Saturday. "Today, we love the nanny who works with our family. We're thrilled to support efforts to bring fairness to this important workforce." Perrineau then smiled as his daughter raced by with a noisemaker in the kid-friendly playroom at the Treehouse Social Club.

Perrineau and his wife Brittany hosted the event along with fellow Hollywood parents Gina Torres (Suits) and Ann Lopez. In addition to the many excited children like Wynter, they were joined by Torres' husband, Laurence Fishburne, Elisabeth Rohm (Law & Order), Kathleen Robertson (Boss), producer Chris Cowles, NDWA co-founder Ai-jen Poo, Aquilina Soriano of the Pilipino Workers Center, and Sarah Benor and me representing Hand in Hand: The Domestic Employers Association, a national network of families who employ domestic workers.

After jamming to a live band and enjoying glitter tattoos, children at the party painted large fabric panels with images and words that expressed their love for the nannies in their lives. These panels will be sewn together to create a banner that will be carried at the Children's March for the CA Domestic Worker Bill of Rights (AB 889) in Sacramento on January 24th. This historic legislation, if passed, will end historical exclusions of domestic workers from most U.S. labor laws.

The event is part of NDWA's new #BeTheHelp campaign, launched in December to inspire viewers of the film The Help to take simple action to improve the lives and working conditions of domestic workers. NDWA has invited the entertainment community to help bring the real-life concerns of domestic workers into the pop-culture conversation, and Hollywood is answering their call.

Just last week, Octavia Spencer, one of the stars of The Help, used her Golden Globes acceptance speech to recognize today's domestic workers; and in December, Participant Media partnered with the NDWA to release a series of videos featuring domestic workers discussing their work. The videos have been viewed and shared by over 80,000 people so far.

On Saturday, Perrineau, Torres and their friends joined this growing family of supporters who understand that the love, dedication and expertise domestic workers bring to families is invaluable. #BeTheHelp is an opportunity for parents and children to celebrate and honor these relationships.

To learn more about #BeTheHelp, visit www.domesticworkers.org. To learn more about how families and employers of domestic workers are involved, visit www.domesticemployers.org.

Photos by Emily Welsch.

Breast is best – for slim adults

2012-01-23T10:03:00.000-08:00

The exclusive breastfeeding of babies -- giving them nothing, including water, but breast milk -- for at least the first six months of their lives is a better guard against future obesity than living healthy lifestyles as adults. That is according to international breastfeeding expert Jeanne Stolzer, of the University Nebraska Kearny in the United States.

"The longer and more frequently a baby is solely breastfed, the less likely that infant is to be overweight or obese throughout his or her life," she said.

Stolzer recently published in the Open Journal of Preventive Medicine an analysis of more than 40 studies that have found breastfed babies to be significantly less likely than bottle-fed infants to be fat, or to suffer from overweight-related conditions such as diabetes, heart diseases and high blood pressure, throughout their lives. "People tend to think that babies are only protected while they're being breastfed. That's simply not true. Research clearly shows that the protective effects continue throughout a human being's life," Stolzer said.

One study compared the body mass index (BMI -- a measure of body fat) of breastfed and bottle-fed babies at three months, and at the ages of four, five and six years. It found that the obesity rate among formula-fed children had tripled by the age of six.

Six-year-olds are considered obese when their BMI is about 20. Further research revealed that the greatest protection against obesity was seen when infants were breastfed exclusively for more than three months.

According to the United States Centres for Disease Control in Atlanta, up to 20% of obesity could be prevented by breastfeeding and the US surgeon-general, Regina Benjamin, recently announced that the government could save up to $3.5-billion annually if exclusive breastfeeding rates were increased from current levels, as breastfed babies were significantly less likely to suffer from a range of conditions, including obesity.

South Africa has one of the lowest exclusive breastfeeding rates in the world -- much lower than those of the US, where only about one out of 10 babies are solely breastfed at six months.

According to the latest South African demographic and health survey, only 1.5% of infants between four and six months are solely breastfed.

The World Health Organisation recommends exclusive breastfeeding for a minimum of six months and that breastfeeding, combined with solids, should continue until a child is two years old.

Stolzer said that one of the reasons researchers believed breastfed babies were thinner was because they could be better at self-regulating their food intake. "Formula feeding comes with recommended dosages, which often leads to overeating and the inability of infants to determine when they've had enough to drink. In contrast, breastfed babies have no predetermined amounts they're supposed to drink at each feeding and the infant therefore learns appetite regulation beginning immediately after birth."

Study finds evidence that exclusively breastfed babies are likely to avoid obesity

A study published in the British Medical Journal, which surveyed 9 300 children, found evidence that babies who were exclusively breastfed for three to five months were a third less likely to be obese by the age of six than those who were bottle-fed. The longer the period in which babies received breast milk, the greater the benefits were, with those who were breastfed for a year or longer being five times less likely to become obese. Researchers took into account factors such as eating habits, socioeconomic class, birth weight, parents' and siblings' ages, amount of outdoor activity, and whether or not the child had their own bedroom.

Stolzer said that it was important for babies to receive breast milk directly from the breast to enjoy the optimal protective effects from obesity. "When a nanny feeds an infant expressed breast milk from a bottle, that baby does not learn appetite regulation as it doesn't learn to stop drinking when it's full. The nanny will, in all likelihood, try to give the baby all that's in the bottle."

But the contents of breast milk also seem to play a role in preventing babies from becoming obese. Researchers have established higher concentrations of insulin in bottle-fed babies' blood, which are often associated with the accumulation of fatty tissue. Stolzer said that human milk also contained significantly less fat and proteins than formula milk, and the proteins in human milk seemed to be easier to metabolise than those in artificial infant milk and were therefore less likely to be stored -- later to become fat.

"Exclusive breastfeeding strongly protects against obesity," Stolzer said. "Just imagine how much less obesity there would be if we increased breastfeeding rates and also had wholesome eating and exercise habits?"

Adults are considered obese when their BMI is 30. For children, different BMI rates apply according to their age.

http://mg.co.za/article/2012-01-20-breast-is-best--for-slim-adults
Mia Malan works for the Discovery Health Journalism Centre at Rhodes University.

Heidi Klum and Seal Divorce: Details Emerge, Pop Star’s Affair with Nanny Ends Marriage

2012-01-22T11:43:00.000-08:00

By AMBROSIA SABRINA: Subscribe to ambrosia's RSS feed

January 22, 2012 4:25 AM EST

While the Hollywood gossip circuits are still buzzing with news of the rumored break-up between supermodel Heidi Klum and her pop-star husband, Seal, sources close to the couple have dished out some details on the impending split, according to a report on MyGossip565.com.

The publication claimed an exclusive chat with an insider, who said Seal had taken his wife's successful career for granted. The singer, famous through the 90s, for hit songs like "Kiss from a Rose", was allegedly living off his wife's earnings - reported to be $20 million for 2011 alone.

In addition, sources have also spoken of an affair between Seal and a nanny who once worked for the couple. Apparently the fling was too much for Klum to bear and the couple has since been constantly fighting over it. It must be noted that there have been no official statements, either from Klum or Seal, on the alleged affair.

In either case, the former Victoria's Secret model seems to have taken a stand. She will reportedly file for divorce at theLos Angeles County Superior Court as early as next week, citing "irreconcilable differences" as the cause.

The impending break-up of the couple has shocked many, particularly since the two have been known to publicly proclaim their love for each other. The couple even renewed their wedding vows every year.

Klum and Seal were married in 2005 and have three children together - Henry, 6; Johan, 5; and Lou, 2. In addition, Klum also has a daughter, Leni, 7, from a previous relationship with Italian businessman Flavio Briatore.

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/285573/20120122/heidi-klum-seal-divorce-details-emerge-pop.htm

SITTERCITY an american success story in childcare

2012-01-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

Interview by Nanny X 2012

I wanted to pull the lid on an organization that now seems to dominate the childcare market. What is sittercity.com and how did it start? I contacted Mary Schwartz, Director, Public Relations to get the scoop.

Genevieve Thiers

How Sittercity started:

How did Sittercity.com go from the nugget of an idea to what is now the nation's largest and most trusted online source for child care, pet care, senior care, home care and tutoring? It all began more than a decade ago, when Genevieve Thiers, who was working her way through Boston College babysitting for more than 30 families in the area, came up with a concept that would eventually become a multi-million dollar industry.

In 2001, Thiers saw a very pregnant woman slowly climbing the steps to Boston College's upper campus to post flyers for a babysitting job. Horrified, Thiers asked the mother-to-be for the flyers, sent her home and posted them herself. While papering the university, Thiers had an epiphany: What if there were one central place that would ensure that no parent would ever have to say "I can't find a sitter" again. And with this idea, Sittercity.com was born.

Thiers took her online caregiving concept to investors, but was turned down. Undeterred, she borrowed $120 from her father, bought the Sittercity.com domain and hired two friends to create the Web site. To encourage sitters to sign up on the site, Thiers printed 20,000 flyers and covered the city of Boston on foot to recruit local caregivers. The effort paid off and she was able to secure 600 sitters for the launch of Sittercity.com in the Boston market.

The site officially launched on September 1, 2001 and within six months, Sittercity.com had spread beyond Boston to Cleveland and New York City. The Sittercity membership base grew exponentially through word of mouth, continuing to spread across the nation. City after city was added to the network, eliminating America's parents' most common reason for missing social events and the coveted date night with a significant other.

How big is the company now:

Today Sittercity has more than 2 million caregivers nationwide and more than 1,500 sitters join Sittercity every day. In fact, Sittercity connects a family with a local caregiver that meets their unique needs.

Any plans to go global?

Right now Sittercity is only available in America, but recent funding presents a great opportunity to expand into international markets where need for flexible childcare is greatest and where there is a strong cultural fit.

http://www.sittercity.com

Mary Schwartz
Director, Public Relations
Sittercity Incorporated

How new parents can save money

2012-01-19T07:53:00.000-08:00

By Anya Kamenetz, Tribune Media ServicesThe Savings Game

January 17, 2012

The dark economy has put a damper on Americans' parental urges. Since reaching a record high of 4.3 million in 2007, U.S. births have dropped each year to just under 4 million in 2010, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But there are ways big and small to lessen the financial blow of having a child, and some of them have other benefits as well. Here are some ideas to think about.

1) Get creative with childcare.

The cheapest childcare option, of course, is to have a grandparent or other relative who is willing to pitch in for free.

Also free: a babysitting co-op, in which a group of families in a neighborhood agree to swap time watching each others' children. This works best for evenings, weekends or occasional needs. You can find or start a co-op nationwide at the website Sittingaround.com.

The next cheapest option is usually an in-home neighborhood daycare. The average annual cost for full-time care in a family child care home for an infant in 2010 ranged widely, from $3,850 in Mississippi to $12,100 in Massachusetts, according to the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies (NACCRRA). Full-time care in a center ranged from $3,900 in Mississippi to $14,050 in Washington, D.C.

Many families who might otherwise have hired a full-time nanny are choosing a nanny share. A nanny share can work in two ways: Two families can each take a few days a week, or the nanny can watch both families' children together in one home or the other (for a slightly higher rate than one child alone), giving the bonus of socializing the young ones.

2) Share, reuse and buy used gear, clothes and toys.

The sheer amount of stuff marketed to new parents, from $900 strollers to electric wipe warmers, can be overwhelming. At the same time, babies differ widely in their preferences, and they grow so fast that their needs can change from week to week. The obvious solution is to share and pass along gear to other families. Many cities and neighborhoods now have parents' email lists or bulletin boards that are rich sources of all kinds of information and support as well as hand-me-downs. Thredup (www.thredup.com) is a national exchange dedicated to buying, selling and sharing children's clothes, books and toys. Freecycle andCraigslist are good places to look, too.

Note that there can be safety concerns with certain pieces of used gear, particularly car seats and cribs. Check the latest safety guidelines on all gear at the Consumer Product Safety Commission (www.cpsc.gov). Car seats actually have expiration dates stamped on their bases. Other used items must be washed and sanitized thoroughly.

3) Consider the costs of diapers and bottles.

Cloth vs. disposable diapers and breast vs. bottle feeding are very personal decisions for most families, but economics do come into play. According to the excellent book "Baby Bargains" (which was passed on to me by two different families!), the cheapest possible option is no-frills prefold cloth diapers -- about $100 worth, plus another $240 for covers -- laundered at home. But store-brand disposables bought in bulk are not much more, about $400 to $500 for the first year.

As for feeding, exclusively breast-feeding will save some money over formula (about $525 for six months), but if Mom has to go to work, she will need to buy or rent a breast pump for around $250 for three months -- although this is sometimes covered by health insurance.

4) Be a bulk shopper.

Once you get your routines and favorite brands established, it makes sense to stock up on baby basics in bulk. The big box stores like Costco and Sam's Club are good places to try. I also like Amazon's Subscribe and Save and Prime programs. Prime offers free shipping for a $40 a year fee, while Subscribe and Save offers discounts of 15 percent or more if you sign up for recurring deliveries every one, three or six months. This is a terrific timesaver as well -- and we all know new parents can use more time. Diapers.com is another good online resource for cheaper baby items.

(Anya Kamenetz' latest book is "DIY U: Edupunks, Edupreneurs, and the Coming Transformation of Higher Education." She welcomes your questions atdiyubook@gmail.com)

How to get ahead in ... early years care

2012-01-18T10:09:00.000-08:00

For the first time, the government is to meet the cost of training to become a professional in the statutory sector

Debbie Andalo
Guardian Professional, Wednesday 18 January 2012 04.12 EST
Article history

The government is to fund training for early years professionals. Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian

At a time when the government has been accused of forcing the closure of Sure Start children's centres, it may come as a surprise that it is, for the first time, offering to fund Early Years Professional Status (EYPS)training for those working in the statutory sector.

This month the first EYPS trainees from the maintained sector – which includes children's centres and state school nurseries – will be among the 1,700 new recruits starting the postgraduate professional qualification. Another 2,200 places will also be available in September as part of the initiative to create 7,300 more Early Years Professionals (EYP) by 2015.

All course fees are paid by the government and bursaries of £3,500 are available for some students. All employers are promised payment for locum cover for trainees if they are already working in early years. Similar cover for childminders completing the training also applies.

The money comes out of the £50m EYPS fund announced by the Department for Education last January. The move to extend EYPS training to early years graduates working in statutory services follows the government's decision to switch funding from certain providers to any provider working in a deprived area.

Thom Crabbe, national manager for early years at the Children's Workforce Development Council (CWDC), which is co-ordinating the programme, says: "The focus of funding is now very much about those providers who are in areas of deprivation – situated within the 30% of the most deprived wards in England – rather than the nature of the organisation and whether it is a private, independent or voluntary sector provider."

There are four routes to EYPS for graduates or those who want to top up a foundation degree to a level 6 qualification. Options exist for people already working in the sector to career-changers or newly qualified graduates.

The chance for trainees to self-fund is also available for the first time. Anglia Ruskin University is one of eight organisations offering the EYPS qualification. It expected to fill its January course when applications closed on Tuesday and already has students lined up for its next intake in September.

The university's EYP programme lead Hazel Jennings says: "We have seen a slight shift towards applicants from the maintained sector. We have always had enquiries from people from the maintained sector who want to self-fund whom we have had to refuse in the past, so now it's quite nice not to have to do that."

Jennings says applications have come form a mixed background from "really experienced managers" looking to adapt to new ways of working, to ex-City workers seeking a career change. "It's been a real cross section," she adds.

The previous Labour government's target was for every full-time early years provider to have at least one member of staff with EYPS by 2015. While the new coalition government has dropped the target, Crabbe thinks it is significant that the money for EYPS training has been committed when the early years sector as a whole is facing cuts. He points out: "The government isn't saying it has a target but over the last year the number of providers employing an EYP has gone up from 20% to 25%."

Having the EYP qualification is supposed to give graduates working in early years equal status to qualified teacher Status. CWDC says it was never intended as a fast-track route to management, but rather a qualification that creates leaders of practice and professional development, keen to mentor colleagues in the workplace.

Graduate Andrea Price, 38, gained her EYPS two years ago – 19 years after beginning her career in children's services as a qualified nanny. Today she manages her family-owned nursery in Wellingborough, Northamptonshire and is also an EYPS trainee assessor at the University of Northampton. She also mentors colleagues completing the qualification.

"EYPS has given me a sense of achievement and allowed me to develop my knowledge and understanding. It's enhanced my self-confidence and has allowed me to challenge others – knowing that I have the knowledge to back up my arguments," Price adds.

How Much Is A Homemaker Worth?

2012-01-17T19:01:00.000-08:00

SOURCE: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2012/01/16/investopedia71496.DTL

The life of a homemaker is one that includes an endless amount of demands and to-dos. Depending on the size of the home and family, the position of homemaker can go well beyond the usual nine to five. We examined some of the tasks that a homemaker might do to find out how much his or her services would net as individual professional careers. We only take into consideration tasks which have monetary values and use the lowest value for each calculation.

Private ChefMeal preparation is one of the major tasks of most homemakers. From breakfast to dinner, there is plenty of meal planning and cooking to be done. The American Personal Chef Association reports that its personal chefs make $200 to $500 a day. Grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive to the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home. Grocery delivery services charge a delivery fee of $5 to $10.

Total cost for services: $1,005 per five day work week x 52 weeks = $52,260 per year.

House CleanerA clean and tidy home is the foundation of an efficient household. Typical cleaning duties include vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, scrubbing sinks as well as loading the dishwasher and making beds. Professional maids or house cleaning service providers will charge by the hour, number of rooms or square footage of the home. For example, bi-weekly cleaning of a 900-square-foot, two-bedroom apartment with five rooms, costs $59-$124. A 1,300 square-foot, single-story home with seven rooms runs $79-$150. A 2,200 two-story, three-bedroom home with nine rooms averages $104-$180. Additional tasks such as oven or refrigerator cleaning and dusting mini blinds can run an extra $20-$25.

Total cost for services: $118 per week X 52 Weeks = $6,136 per year.

Child CareHomemakers provide full-time, live-in child care. This type of service from a professional provider would usually come with a host of perks including health insurance, paid vacation and sick days, federal holidays off, dental and vision coverage, and bonuses. The International Nanny Association's 2011 survey found that nannies make $600 to $950 per week in gross wages, on average.

Total cost for services: $600 a week plus perks/benefits x 52 Weeks = $31,200 per year.

DriverA private car service might seem like a high-end luxury to most, but the beneficiaries of a homemaker get this service on a daily basis. Companies like Red Cap, which provides personal drivers that use the client's own car as the means of transportation, offer a glimpse into the cost of this homemaker task. An elite membership which includes 365 days of unlimited, round-trip service is $1,000 a year plus 33 cents - $2.03 per minute.

Total cost for services: $1,000 per year + [(estimated miles driven 8000 miles / 50 MPH) x 60 min/hr x $0.33 per minute] = $4,168 total per year.

Laundry ServiceClean clothes come at a cost when you have to pay for the service that most homemakers do for free. Professional laundry services charge by the pound. For instance, Susie's Suds Home Laundry Service, Inc. in Texas charges 90 cents to $1.00 a pound to wash, dry, fold, hang and steam your clothes. Items that take longer to dry such as comforters, blankets, rugs and winter clothes are assessed at a price of $12-$15 each.

Total cost for services: $0.90 per pound x 4 pounds of clothes per day x 5 days per weeks x 52 weeks = $936 total per year.

Lawn MaintenanceBasic maintenance of the exterior property is a less common, but possible duty of a homemaker. This could include things such as mowing, debris removal, edging and trimming the lawn. These services cost about $30 a week on average.

Total cost for services: $30 per week x 52 weeks = $1,560 total per year.

The Bottom LineTotal for a year of all services is: $52,260 + $6,137 + $31,200 + $4,168 + $936 + $1,560 = $96,261 per year.

The daily work of a homemaker can sometimes be taken for granted by his or her family members. However, these services could earn a homemaker a considerable wage if he or she took those skills to the marketplace. Homemakers in general contribute a lot more to the home in addition to these tasks, and no amount of money can fill those needs.

Original story - How Much Is A Homemaker Worth?

Today’s housekeepers & nannies see parallels in ‘The Help,’ set in the 1960s

2012-01-16T15:11:00.000-08:00

Advocate is using Golden Globe-nominated flick to push for new law

Comments (4)

BY ERICA PEARSON / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

Sunday, January 15 2012, 4:00 AM

DALE ROBINETTE/AP

Emma Stone and Viola Davis are shown in a scene from ‘The Help.’

Octavia Spencer as Minny Jackson and Viola Davis as Aibileen Clark in ‘The Help.’

To New York nanny Barbara Young, “The Help” — the hit tale about black maids and their white employers in 1960s Mississippi — doesn’t seem like a period piece.

“I sat and I watched that movie and all I could think about was how things change and yet remain the same,” said Young, 64, of Rego Park, Queens.

“The fear that the workers had back then, fear of losing their jobs and being blacklisted and not getting another a job, and worrying about how they are going to support their families, that’s still very real,” said Young, who is black and was born in Barbados.

“The industry has changed from African-Americans to mostly immigrant women, but the dynamics are still the same.”

“The Help” movie, based on the book by Kathryn Stockett, garnered five Golden Globe nominations, including a best actress nod for Viola Davis. Her character, Aibileen, and her feisty best friend Minny risk everything to expose what their nanny and housekeeper jobs are really like — from being barred from using the family bathroom to becoming closer to kids than their actual parents are.

Ai-jen Poo, director of the National Domestic Workers Alliance, has seen the movie three times. For her, Sunday’s Globes ceremony is an opportunity for “today’s help” to get some recognition.

She’s pushing for California to pass a law modeled after New York’s Domestic Workers Bill of Rights, which went into effect in 2010.

The measure protects nannies and caregivers from harassment and makes employers pay overtime and provide one day off per week and three paid vacation days per year.

Even so, a November survey conducted by Park Slope Parents found that while Brooklyn nannies’ average hourly rate is $15, just 27% of employers said they pay overtime.

“I think the key for viewers to understand is that what Minny and Aibileen faced, those are still ongoing issues that still need to be addressed,“ Poo said.

Poo is holding a Twitter "watch party" as the Globes air on Sunday — inviting anyone moved by the movie to send tweets with the hashtag #bethehelp. Some have criticized the book and film for overly relying on a heroic white character — a budding writer who convinces Davis’ character and others to tell their stories.

But Young, who spent eight years working for an Upper West Side family but left in 2010 after her hours were cut, said the movie made her feel proud.

She was also moved to tears during a scene where a maid gets fired. Young also felt vindicated by the bond the movie shows between Aibileen and the little girl she cares for.

The discrimination the maids in “The Help” faced may not entirely be a thing of the past, said Young, but it’s much easier to speak out about it — or catch employers in the act.

“Now, we’ve got You Tube,” she laughed.

epearson@nydailynews.com

Returning to work after maternity leave is tough

2012-01-14T14:49:00.000-08:00

By Jen Gouthro

I went back to work last week after 14 months away from office life. The maternity leave police showed up at my door and said, “Sorry lady, this party is over.” They made me hand over my sweat pants and hair elastics in exchange for high heels and makeup. I accepted them begrudgingly, realizing I would now have to spend more than five minutes getting ready in the morning. They also gave me a quick debrief on how to put pantyhose on, which I appreciated because I had completely forgotten about those hellish contraptions.

Topics :: Toronto , Cape Breton , Dominion

Of course the biggest part of going back to work is saying goodbye to spending practically every minute with the twins. Friends recommended I ask our new nanny, Janet, to start coming before I went back to work so we could all adjust to this change. This proved to be an excellent idea. I spent more and more time away from the apartment every day so the twins could get used to being with Janet and I could get used to things like peeing alone. It also helped me experience some of that working mom guilt before I went back to work, preventing any major breakdowns in the office. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Everyone deserves a good work cry occasionally.) Both Gavin and Lauren really like Janet so I don’t have any worries about their care.

The night before I went back to work, I updated my Facebook status to say my maternity leave was over. (I’m not an avid Facebook poster, but I figure if I only post major life updates I won’t bore anyone.) Reading through people’s comments, you would swear I was going in for major surgery the next day. And not a good surgery, like a tummy tuck or liposuction or something. It was all, “Good luck/I hope you survive/You’ll get through it,” etc.

There is a real “back to reality” mentality about going back to work after maternity leave, as if the year away from work is all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. However, I do have a few friends who are quick to admit being at work is far easier than being at home with their kids, because you get a lunch break, a bathroom break and a coffee break. Basically you get a break. Stay-at-home moms, I salute you!

I dragged myself through that first week of work. I like my job, and I’m not just saying that because my boss reads this column occasionally. (Hi, Ruth!) I really do like what I do and I like the people I work with very much. I guess it didn’t help that I had a terrible cold and I had grown accustomed to a mid-morning nap because the parenting experts all tell you — sleep when they sleep! — and naps aren’t a part of my work schedule. It also didn’t help to see Gavin, his little face pressed between the bars of the baby gate, looking all sad and forlorn as I walked out of the door that first morning. My heart flip-flopped in my chest but I managed to hold it together.

Normally when I write this column I look for connections or major differences between Toronto and Cape Breton, but on this topic I can’t see how my experience would be any different if I lived in Cape Breton. I’m sure every mother returning to work finds it a difficult transition, wherever she lives. Especially if she has to wear those damn pantyhose.

Jen Gouthro, a Dominion native, moved away from Cape Breton more than 16 years ago. She has lived in Antigonish, Banff, Maine and Windsor, Ont. and currently resides in Toronto. She can be reached at Caper_in_Toronto@hotmail.com.

SOURCE: http://www.capebretonpost.com/Opinion/Columns/2012-01-12/article-2862129/Returning-to-work-after-maternity-leave-is-tough/1

Imagine being this girl's Nanny?

2012-01-13T10:01:00.000-08:00

SOURCE: http://www.heraldsun.com.au/entertainment/confidential/madonna-has-no-sway-over-material-girl/story-e6frf96o-1226243791777

by:Cameron Adams
From:Herald Sun
January 13, 2012 4:57PM

Madonna says she has "no authority" over how her teenage daughter Lourdes dresses. Picture: AP

MADONNA has revealed she has "no authority" when it comes to how her daughter Lourdes, 15, dresses.

"If I say to my daughter, ‘That outfit is a little bit too risqué or revealing’ she looks at me and says, ‘That’s rich coming from you,’” Madonna told UK talk show host Graham Norton yesterday.

“She is always sneaking into my dressing room and borrowing things when I am still sleeping. My nanny said to her the other day, ‘You’ve got to give your mother her boots back, you’ve had them for a week.’ And she said, ‘Whatever, she’ll get over it.” And I thought 'wow, she doesn’t fear me at all.' I don’t care about the boots, it’s the attitude. I have no authority.”

In the interview – which will air in Australia on Channel 10 on January 21 – Madonna said she sees similarities between herself and pop rival Lady Gaga.

“When I first saw her perform in a small club in Manhattan a couple of years ago I was actually really impressed by her. I thought she was really cool and she did remind me of me back in the day. I loved her rawness and there was something fresh about her and ballsy and when she spoke to the audience she sounded like she had a similar sense of humour to me, quite ironic, and I liked her. I do think she is very talented," she said.

In another interview this week, to promote her movie W.E., Madonna recognised Gaga’s Born this Way as sounding like her own hit, Express Yourself.

"This is a wonderful way to redo my song. I mean, I recognized the chord changes. I thought it was… interesting," she said.

Madonna will release her new album M.D.N.A. in February, telling Norton that the leaking of a demo version of the first single Gimme All Your Luvin annoyed her.

“It’s out soon, as soon as people download it by hacking into my server and leak it. It’s terrible. Why can’t people just wait and let me finish it. I keep saying to my manager, ‘Are they really my fans? If they love me so much why don’t they let me finish it and put it out when I want to put it out?’ It’s very confusing behaviour," she said.

BUSTING NANNY MYTHS

2012-01-12T17:00:00.000-08:00

SOURCE: http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2010/11/04/nannies/

Nannies Are for the Wealthy … and Other (Somewhat Untrue) Myths

POSTED BY CAROLYNCASTIGLIA ON NOVEMBER 4TH, 2010 AT 10:00 AM

Myth: all nannies look like this.

Today Babble is running a piece debunking popular myths about nannies. Despite what books like The Nanny Diaries and Jude Law’s love life would have you believe, author Candi Wingate claims, “the truth is that millions of families enjoy working with nannies — scandal-free.”

When it comes to hiring a nanny, scandal isn’t the first thing that pops into my mind. I thought about hiring a nanny when my daughter was born — after all, it’s what New Yorkers do — but I was sure I wouldn’t be able to afford one. Wingate says hiring a nanny may not be as cost-prohibitive as I think, but I’m not convinced. Here’s my take on a few of the nine common misconceptions about nannies she describes:

Myth #1. Nannies are for the wealthy. When asked their family income, 34% of our 796 respondents reported earning less than $100,000 per year, 22% earned between $100,000 and $150,000, 17.5% earned between $150,000 and $200,000, and 26.5% earned over $200,000.

For those of you with me in the under $100,000 per year category, it’s easy to scoff and say, “Sure, a third of people who hire a nanny make less than 100K annually, but a third also make more than double that. Nonetheless, Wingate notes, “If you have two or more children, hiring a nanny may be more cost effective than daycare.” That I can believe. She adds, “If you don’t need full-time help, sharing a nanny with another family is a way to cut down on costs without sacrificing benefits.” But isn’t a part-time nanny just a babysitter? Hmm … that leads me to Wingate’s next point.

Myth #2. A nanny must work full-time. Most nannies arrange their schedules around the family’s. For the families who responded to our survey, 46.9% of nannies worked part-time, with the hours per week ranging from under 10 to 30. You can find a high quality nanny who will work with your schedule.

So, we’re talking about a babysitter, right? A fancy babysitter, who won’t bring her boyfriend over and eat all your chips. Still, I can see how someone like this would be a godsend when you’re on a budget.

Myth #3. A nanny must make a year commitment. The only legally binding agreement between a nanny and a family is a written contract that outlines all the terms of their agreement. (Au pairs are an exception; their J-1 visas require 12 month commitments.) While these contracts are a good idea, you don’t have to have one. Either way, you aren’t tied to a nanny any longer than you want to be.

I have several friends who know all too well that often times nannies tend not to stick around very long. (One viewing of The Sound of Music will tell you that.) It’s great for a family employing a nanny to be able to get rid of an irresponsible caregiver, but I would also point out that kids can feel confused or resentful if there’s too much turnover. (Which is where Mary Poppins comes in, of course. Thank God for Julie Andrews.)

Myth #4. A nanny is not safe. A study that compared children who received home care, center-based care, and other forms of out-of-home childcare found that the rate of minor injuries was highest in center-based care, but there was not a significant difference among the three types of care for severe injuries. (PEDIATRICS Vol. 122 No. 5 November 2008, pp. e980-e987)

My money is on home care, literally. The only nanny I can afford right now is my daughter’s Grandma — loving, responsible, and she works for free.

One of Wingate’s nanny myth that I had trouble with was #7:

With a nanny, your child will not socialize with other children. One of a nanny’s major responsibilities is to supervise your child’s interactions with other kids, from play dates with friends to birthday parties, organized sports activities, and fun at the park. If you make it clear that encouraging your child’s social development is important to you, your nanny will prioritize it, too.

Yes, be sure to let your nanny organize your child’s playdates. It’s the best way to let other moms know how very busy and important you are. I’ll never forget the time, when my daughter was about a year-and-a-half, that she and I went to one of my favorite spots in Harlem for a coffee and a pastry, and I met a very nice mother who was there alone. She suggested that we have a playdate sometime, and then handed me a card, saying, “Great. You’ll have to arrange it with my nanny.” I was aghast. I wasn’t interested in meeting her nanny — no offense to the nanny, who I am sure was great. I was looking for another mom to hang out with.

I recommend that you read all nine myths for yourself and see what you think. Do you have a nanny? Why or why not?

A bit of fluff: Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise Pictures

2012-01-10T10:04:00.000-08:00

By JillSlattery on January 9, 2012

Katie Holmes and Suri (FlynetPictures.com)more pics »Katie Holmes and Suri (Pacific Coast News)It seems like some celebrity moms pop out babies and then promptly hand them over to the nanny. But not Katie Holmes. Yeah, we know that Suri Cruise probably has a small army of nannies, but you can't deny that the 5-year-old is regularly photographed spending time with her A-list mama.

Holmes and her pint-sized fashionista daughter love to stroll around the streets of New York City, shop for designer clothes, and indulge in sweet treats like ice cream. Suri has been in the limelight since the day she was born, so the little tot can sometimes be quite the ham when the paparazzi are around!

Check out more pics of Katie Holmes and Suri below!

See more Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise photos:

Things to never ask your nanny

2012-01-09T16:44:00.000-08:00

SOURCE: http://www.hormonal-imbalances.com/2012/01/4751/

JANUARY 9, 2012 BY DIANA9 COMMENTS

When I was a nanny in southern California several years ago, I got asked the most inappropriate, absurd, uncomfortable questions you could ever imagine. Things that no employer on the face of this earth would dream of asking an employee – but since I was going to work in their home with their kids I guess it was a free for all.

I remember leaving homes after an interview and thinking, “Did thatreally just come out of their mouths? And did I really just sit there and answer it like it was all ok?”

And I did. I didn’t know any better.

Here are some of my (really and truly asked) favorites:

“Do you plan on getting pregnant in the next year or two?” I can’t even begin to explain how illegal that question is. Of course, they wanted to know they had me for the long haul, but also so they could cancel me out right then and there if I said yes. Or that I was.
“Would you be willing to take classes on how to shoot a gun?” Yeah. Probably not.
“Can we meet your parents?” I was 23 years old. Married for 4 years. I’m going to say that’s a no.
“Are you willing to pay your own taxes?” This one literally made my head explode. As a nanny, you are not an independent contractor. They knew it, I knew it. I carried a file with me of all the tax breaks and legal ways to hire me as an employee. 99% of the time the parents fought it with all kinds of “perks”.
“Can we pay you in cash?” As much as I love having no work history or payments into Social Security - I’ll have to pass.
“Would you be ok if we videotaped you here?” I don’t know – would you be ok if your boss video taped you at work in your cubicle? Honestly. I know it’s your kid but if you have to tape a nanny, you shouldn’t have hired her. End of story.
Phone interview to a place we were moving: “How much do you weigh?” Apparently they’d had a big (their words) nanny before and found she ate all the food. No mention if she was excellent with the children or a wonderful employee. I was so shocked I pretended the phone had gone dead and hung up.
“Are you willing to work split shift, 70+ hours a week, some weekends and all holidays? For about $650 a week?” OH CAN I? Please?! Because that sounds amazing. Really. You have a live in, full time aupair and housekeeper, yet I’d be in charge of your 4 kids all day long 7 days a week because you’re a SAHM that needs to…. Right.
“What you do on the weekends?” Well, lucky for you I’m married so not much. Movies, cooking, etc. But you’ll probably get the same answer from the next nanny applicant waiting with a cutoff tank top, daisy dukes, a nose ring, and her boyfriend waiting in the car playing rap music because – we all want this job. Good luck with that.
“Tell me about the day you asked the Lord Jesus to be your Savior.” ::DEAD:: This question nearly blew me out of the seat. I’m a Christian. I’m proud of that. I’m also an American. And I’m pretty sure that’s something you can never, ever ask someone you’re hiring for a job. I’m happy to tell you all about it off the job, or not as part of being hired.

The worst part is, all of the nannies I got to know were asked at least a few of these at some point. And we all answered, because we needed a job. It became so frequent that I became numb to being treated like a piece of meat.

I think the snapping point was when a woman who looked like she stepped out of a Vogue catalog in a Pottery Barn home stopped me during an interview and said, “I’m so impressed at how articulate you are. And that you speak English.”

You know what I told her after I threw up in my mouth? “My goodness. I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

No. I did not get that job.

The rise of the "supernanny"

2012-01-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

Figures show parents are wanting increasingly more experienced and highly qualified nannies to look after their children. By Claire Duffin.2012

9:30PM GMT 07 Jan 2012

18 Comments

For generations, parents just wanted a nanny who would love their children. Now they expect much more: new research has found that four fifths of families require a nanny with “additional skills” including cooking and the ability to play or teach a musical instrument.

They are prepared to pay up to £65,000 a year for graduates who can speak foreign languages, ski, horse ride and coach children in academic subjects ahead of school entry exams.

The survey of 1,244 employers of nannies found some parents even wanted skills in dance and karate.

Current vacancies for nannies advertised through Nannies of St James, which recruits for high-profile clients in London, include ones for people who can drive, swim but also have a second language.

One family is looking for a nanny who has “sea legs” for when the family is on their yacht, while others want nannies able to travel to the Caribbean, New York, Abu Dhabi, South Africa and extensively in Europe.

Agencies have put the change down to parents who feel their children are under pressure from increased competition for places at high-performing schools, as well as competition for jobs among nannies.

Rosemary Newton, partner at Nannies of St James, said: “For the last three to five years, people have been requesting additional skills, particularly languages. Education is now a priority.

“It’s becoming more like America, with parents wanting their children coached for prep school and entrance exams and then wanting nannies to help academically with homework. Gone are the days of Mary Poppins. It’s become more about the professional, educated, well-rounded graduate.”

Successful candidates can reap the rewards of being well-qualified, and are often provided with a car and high-quality accommodation on top of a competitive salary.

The annual research by Nannytax, which offers nanny payroll service for families, found average wages have not increased significantly over the last three years, reflecting the wider economy.

The average wage for live-in nannies in London is now £26,870 a year, up four per cent in a year, with daily nannies getting around £34,500, up one per cent - but agencies say top candidates can command up to £65,000.

Amber Jones, director of Tigerlily Recruitment said the increase in wages reflected a rise in standards.

“If I interview a prospective nanny who can horse ride, ski and swim, I know it is somebody I can place,” she said.

“Wages have increased meaning that being a nanny can now be a career choice, whereas before it was more of a low level, low paid domestic role.”

Last year, Gwyneth Paltrow, the actress, advertised for a “supernanny” for her two children, Apple and Moses. The successful candidate needed to posses a classical education, be fluent in at least three languages, preferably including Mandarin or Japanese, be able to play two instruments, be passionate about sailing and tennis, and enjoy art history or martial arts.

One of the “supernannies”, Francesca Wright, 27, who works for families in West Sussex and Surrey, has been a nanny for six years after completing a degree in English literature and studying childcare.

“Having a degree in English means I can help with their spelling and grammar,” she said.

“A lot of people, if they ask you what you do and you say nanny they think babysitter. But all the families I have worked for see it as a career and don’t see you as a second-class citizen.”

The Nannytax survey also found that 68 per cent of families would consider a male nanny, or “manny” but that only two per cent, 23 of those surveyed, have ever actually employed one.

Annie Merrylees, founder and director of My Big Buddy - London’s first registered “manny” agency, specialising in male nannies, said they were popular with single mothers, families with busy fathers, families with only children and ones with disabled children or ones with attention-deficient disorders. She has more than 300 “mannies” in full-time employment.

“Most commonly it’s simply families with boys who want someone well-educated who can encourage and assist their children to complete their homework followed by the reward of some active and fun entertainment,” she said.

Why "The Help" Hurts the History of Black Domestics

2012-01-07T10:12:00.000-08:00

Source for this material came from: http://bestnannynewsletter.blogspot.com/2012/01/why-help-hurts-history-of-black.html

Sister Citizen: Slave, Shame, Stereotype and Black Women in America by Melissa Harris-Perry

First, try to evoke an image of a nanny. Next, think of a black

nanny. Now, search your mind for a picture of an

African-American domestic worker.

Most people, at some point, envision a stereotypical

"Mammy": a large, dark-complected woman who is

always smiling because she is so gratified to be satisfying

the needs of the white family she serves.

Melissa Harris-Perry examines the Mammy stereotype, as well

as Sapphire, the Hottentot, the Welfare Queen, the Superwoman, and other media-promoted

images of black women. In her book, the author investigates the debilitating political, cultural,

and social pressures put upon African American women.

Your interest in this book by Professor Harris-Perry will be piqued by her views on "The Help,"

which can be seen online on C-Span.

She explains real black women who worked as domestics when Medgar Evers died didn't

have aMiss Skeeter. She encourages us to read the facts and explore the history. In reality,

black domestics walked out of their jobs and protested in the streets themselves without help

from any white people.

She finds it condescending to suggest that Minny Jackson would find the courage to leave

her abusive husband only after her white boss, Celia Foote, cooked her a meal. Would

simply having a white woman's gratitude lead her to leave her husband?

When Viola Davis's character, Aibileen Clark walks out of her job in the oppressive South

at the end of the movie, audiences cheer as if the character is a strong woman. But, Professor Harris-Perry questions why we applaud. In reality, Aibileen was walking into the oppressive

South and would not have been hired again after being fired at that time and place. In reality,

she actually may have been arrested because the white character Hilly Holbrook accuses

her of stealing her silver.

Harris-Perry states her perspective about the book and the movie just past the halfway point

on the show, but we found the entire hour provocative and insightful. Please click here to see

the entire program.

The author's strict adherence to analysis of empirical evidence and data is as welcome as it is uncommon. The concepts of fictive kinship, linked fate, and the crooked room are intriguing

enough to justify purchase of the book.

Harris-Perry helps you understand race does matter. Gender does matter. She helps you

see the importance of the structural barriers to individual achievement and the inherent

inequality of using stereotypes to judge an individual. All women, especially black women, can benefit from reading this book.