the NEW Glasers

Shabbat Reflections: Sitting Shiva in the Social Networking World

2012-01-28T04:30:00.000-05:00

I recently came across a post written by someone I've known most of my life. Rabbi Jason Miller wrote an amazing post about sitting Shiva for the traditional Shiva practice. For those readers that don't know, Shiva is the seven-day process of mourning. It applies to the immediate family of someone recently deceased. Traditionally, the mourning family opens up their home so others can come and pay their respects. In recent years, many Jews have become lax with the process and shortened the time for "sitting shiva". Rabbi Miller's post struck a real chord with me and made me think back to July when my grandmother passed away.

My grandmother was somewhat religious - far more religious than most of my family members - and the family obeyed her religious wishes as much as we could. Rather than having people in my grandfather's house, we opened up my Dad's house for Shiva. I can tell you that putting together a Shiva while you're in mourning is one of the hardest things to do. Your friends and community are supposed to help you but they don't always come through. My grandmother had quite a few grandchildren so my stepmom and aunt enlisted us to get things started. It was the hardest job I've ever had. I was so lucky to be shopping for stuff with my sister because she compartmentalized everything and we moved quickly to get it all done. Still, there's nothing like working your way down a grocery list while you're in mourning to put things in perspective.

All I wanted to do was be at home with my family and mourn. I didn't want to be out shopping. My husband updated me with the amount of friends who wrote on my Facebook wall sending their condolences but once the funeral was over and Shiva started, very few of the well-wishers showed up. I'm grateful to the people who came to the funeral or to the Shiva but I read a lot of "sorry, I'm busy with XX" and "I wish I could make it - let me know if you need anything!!" Distance played a factor with some of it - not all of my friends live in Michigan (hell, even I don't live in Michigan) but for the people that did, their words stung a bit. Part of the Shiva process involves your community coming to your house to take care of you and to personally pay their respects.

Don't get me wrong, I met all sorts of people that I didn't know - but they knew my grandmother. Her funeral was packed! She was everyone's grandmother and everyone's mother! She made my friends call her Bubba - not Mrs. Rubin. She would have loved the turnout but as these people invaded my Dad's house, I just looked for a friendly face or two that I could escape with. Craig often found me in the garage "hiding". I wanted to be comforted by my friends - not by strangers who I knew would ask questions about the State of Israel and what it's like to live there. Those are not questions you want to answer when you're mourning. Other people asked me if I was excited to be pregnant - at the time, the answer was no. I wanted my grandmother to be alive - I wanted her to meet my child. It was just another question I didn't want to answer.

The Facebook and Twitter condolences were nice but the friendly faces were better.

I don't remember if we sat Shiva for a full seven days. Sitting for the full length of time is very hard on the mourners because you have to partially play the role of entertainer and someone's gotta clean up when everyone leaves the Shiva home. I have a new-found respect for my stepmom. She pulled it all together for the sake of my father but there's only so much you can ask of one person. I think the worst part about Shiva is the day after it's over. People stop coming to your home and the real mourning begins. You're no longer distracted by people and the real healing process begins.

It's been six months since my grandmother passed away. Do I miss her? Every.Single.Day. Pictures of her adorn the walls of my apartment. I tell stories about her nearly every day. I learned a thing or two from the Shiva experience - I don't like to write condolence remarks on Facebook. I do it because I live so far away from so many people but I prefer to write the mourner something private and I like to check in on them after everyone has cleared the Shiva home. Is there a place for social networking in the mourning world? Absolutely. Is there a place for it when someone is sitting shiva? Sure. Is it still better to make a Shiva call and visit the mourners? 1000000%.

Bed Rest Approved Dinners

2012-01-26T04:30:00.000-05:00

I'm kind of limited in what I can do lately. I'm on bed rest and my range of activity is somewhat slim. I can do endless DIY activities as long as they are not stressful and I take breaks to relax... and they need to be done inside my house. I can also cook and I can go to the grocery store. That's about it. Going to IKEA would probably make me a monster and would raise my blood pressure. So, I'm stuck entertaining myself.

What have I done so far?

Made pillow covers using safety pins and a button
DIY Micro-Dermabrasion using baking soda and orange juice
Made low-cal/low-fat dinners

Not bad for someone who is on bed rest, right? Well, this was all just this week's activities so far. I still have the rest of today and tomorrow to get through.

I wanted to share two really yummy dinner recipes that I made that are both low in fat and really easy to make. I made creamy roasted veggie gnocchi for dinner last night and I also made pan-seared potato kreplach (think tortellini) with a lemon butter sauce for dinner a few nights ago. Ready for the recipes?

Creamy Roasted Veggie Gnocchi
First of all, I hated gnocchi growing up - just ask my step-dad. I wouldn't touch it when he made it. I will only eat this stuff if it's in a creamy sauce. So, here's what you need:
1 package of Gnocchi
1 cube of veggie bullion
1 cup of frozen cauliflower
1 cup of frozen broccoli
1 cup of sliced zucchini
1 tsp. olive oil
1 tsp. butter

2 cloves of minced garlic
1 cup of low fat milk
1/8 cup of low fat Parmesean
Salt and Pepper to taste

Here's what you do:
Take a large pot, fill it with water, put it on the stove and add your veggie bullion. Let the water boil.

As the water boils, preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Take a large mixing bowl and dump in your veggies. Add your olive oil to the mix, lightly sprinkle the mixture with salt and mix well. Take a baking pan covered in tin-foil and sprayed lightly with PAM - now pour the veggies on to the pan and place the pan in the oven.

Once your water is boiling, add your gnocchi. When all of the gnocchi are at the surface, they're ready to be drained! Once they're drained, set them aside.

Return the pot to the stove and make sure your setting is on medium-low. Add your butter and minced garlic to the pot, stirring quickly. Then add your milk - make sure the milk doesn't burn! Once your milk starts to bubble, add your cheese and stir the mixture until everything is melted. Turn your stove off and add the gnocchi to the mixture. If your veggies are nicely browned, add them as well.

Serve hot!

To make this dish slightly lower in fat, substitute the butter for olive oil.

Pan-Seared Potato Kreplach in a Lemon-Butter Sauce
For most of my life, kreplach was something you ate in chicken soup and it always came with meat inside. It wasn't until I moved to Israel that I realized there's a wide variety of kreplach on the market. I'm pretty sure if my grandmother knew what I did to kreplach, she'd scold me. This form of kreplach is like tortellini so you can always substitute one pasta for another. Here's what you need:
One package of frozen kreplach or any kind of tortellini
2 tsp. butter
4 cloves minced garlic
1/8 cup of lemon juice
1/8 cup of flour
Salt and Pepper to taste

Here's what you do:
Take a large pot, fill it with water, put it on the stove and let the water boil. Once it boils, add half of the package of kreplach - then place the rest in the freezer. When all of the kreplach are at the surface, they're ready for draining! Drain them and put them aside for now.

Grab a large and deep pan or skillet. On a medium setting, melt the butter and garlic together - mixing vigorously. Add your lemon juice and mix well. To thicken the mixture, add the flour slowly, making sure you mix as you go. You may not need the full 1/8 cup. Once the mixture looks less buttery, add your kreplach to the mixture. Let the kreplach sit for a few minutes and stir it. You want the pasta to sear, not burn, so keep a watchful eye. Once your mixture has browned on both sides, remove it from the pan and eat it!

Serve hot!!

To make this dish slightly lower in fat, skip the butter and use olive oil instead. If you use olive oil, do not use flour.

Both of these dishes are very low impact - meaning they won't take you long (both dishes took me less than 20 minutes from start to finish). You can add veggies to each dish or substitute the veggies I used. We try to buy seasonal veggies because they're cheaper but the frozen ones are just as good.

Eat in good health!

DIY Dog Smell Removal

2012-01-25T08:20:00.002-05:00

My sister says I'm "nesting" - I don't fully buy it. I like to use the word "prepping". I'm preparing for the arrival of our parents. I know it's only January 25th and I won't see my in-laws until February 10th but I will see my parents on February 6th ... which means I need to de-dander my couch. Even though my dogs smell nice and pretty (they get baths on a regular basis), my couch does NOT smell nice and pretty. Add a few layers of other people's animals to it and you can see why my couch sucks. We "inherited" the couch from our previous landlord who told us to keep it when we moved out. But she sold the place before we could move out and we're still here. Craig won't throw out the couch because we won't be here for much longer but the thing is gross and smelly. To make matters worse, my apartment is old and no matter how much cleaning gets done, it always looks dirty.

Nesting???

So, maybe I am nesting. What of it??? Just kidding. I'm still on bed rest so my energy is low but I successfully reorganized a closet today. Why? I wanted a place to put my winter blankets that usually wind up on the couch covered in dog hair. I'll admit, it was a little cathartic. A little. Yet, I still feel like there's more work to be done. Since my Dad is allergic to the dogs, I'm trying to keep the house as dust-free and pet-dander free as possible in anticipation for his arrival. This will be tricky because my dogs LIVE on the couch. We never really taught them not to get on the couch because we actually enjoy cuddling with them there. I can't cover my couch in plastic so I'll do the next best thing and Google "how to get dog smell out of couch".

No nudity on this blog!

Ya know what I found? A lot of nothing but I did find a few quick solutions that will work wonders when done consistently over time. The first set of pet smell removal solutions involves white vinegar, water, lemon juice, and baking soda ... just not all together. That would be so awkward. According to GetSmellOut.com, I can even use vodka as a short term solution for getting rid of pet odor.

I've decided that since I'm home, I'm going to try out a new DIY segment on the blog... it'll be dedicated to the methods I use to get rid of the smell of my pups. My first step, asking you what you do to keep your house smell-free. So, what do you do?

I think my next step will be taking 1 cup of baking soda and 4 drops of lavender oil - sprinkling it all over my couch, then letting it sit for an hour. Then I vacuum it up. It's supposed to take up all the moisture and kill the dust mites.

Step 3 will be to take a bottle of vodka ~~and drink it~~, and spray my couch with it. Let it dry then vacuum again.

Save for cleaning or save for later??

Step 4 will be to mix equal parts lemon juice and water into a spray bottle, spray it on my couch, let it dry and ... you guessed it, vacuum.

This might lead me right up until my Dad gets here which means I'll re-do step 2 (baking soda and lavender).

OK... maybe I am nesting.