The O Filler

Yes baby...He hears it

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:00:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago, my family and I were attending a church service. At this particular church, they have one service a month were the entire family comes together and sits with their entire church family and worships God together. While looking at the large video screen positioned just left of the stage (they meet in the commons area of a local junior high school) with beautiful backgrounds of crosses floating behind the words of the praise song we lifted to our Lord, my almost five year old (I was holding her in my arms so that she could see over the people standing in front of us) turns her head and looks me straight in the eye and asked in a reverent whisper, "Daddy, does God hear us sing?" I fought back tears because of the beauty of the moment, just recounting the story now brings tears to my eyes. I was able to look into her beautiful brown eyes, while holding back those tears, and say with assurance in my voice, "Yes baby...He hears it."

Have you ever stopped and pondered this fact? I know that there are many people that do not believe that God hears us as we pray or scream due to whatever pain we may have in our lives, but I do. And because I do believe that He hears us, I also have my moments of complete awe because of this simple fact....God hears us...God listens...God cares. I have heard many sermons on the different "common themes" that weave their way through scripture. But the common thread that I tend to hold tightly to is this...LOVE. You see: God loved us enough to create us. God loved us enough to drive us out of the garden. God loved us enough to save us from ourselves. God loved us enough to put us into slavery. God loved us enough to provide us a new home. God loved us enough to send his messengers and leaders to us. God loved us enough to send us THE MESSAGE. God loved us enough to allow that MESSAGE to die on a cross so that our line of communication could then be made complete. We can go straight to Him. We no longer have to pay for a temple priest to take our sacrifice and offer it up to God on our behalf. We can now enter into the presence of the God of All ourselves. That fact humbles me. That fact makes me want to fall to knees and get as flat on the ground as I can and let Him know that I am not worthy of such an audience. But the God that loves, picks me up and dusts me off and looks me in the eyes and says, "Yes baby...I hear you".

AMEN

Sleep Walking

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:24:00 +0000

Just last night, I was actually able to stay up past 9:30 so I decided to watch a little TV in the living room....wait, this is not where I need to start this story.

The story really begins with this small fact: I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter that still comes and climbs in bed with my wife and I almost every night. She is a little thing for 4 1/2 years old, (I think she is drawing her gene structure from my dads side of the family. My grandmother liked to say she was 5 foot, but everyone knew she was more like 4' 10") but that does not keep her from kicking me in the back, slapping me in the face and keeping me up with her conversations in her sleep that always tend to end with a short little giggle. (Hey, at least they are good dreams)

Every night when I am tucking her in, our deep brown eyes connect (hers are much prettier though) and I beg her with all my strength to please not come into Mommy and Daddy's bed tonight. She smiles with a smile that she knows melts my heart and looks at me and says, "OK Daddy". Both of us know this will not happen. Both of us know this is just a routine. A little "game" we play if you will. I leave her room knowing later tonight I will get a swift kick in the back that would make any place kicker in the NFL proud, and she watches me leave her room with the thought floating in her head, "See you in a little while Daddy." Or so I thought.

Last night while watching TV, I began to hear small steps coming down the stairs. I quickly spoke up and told whoever the "sneaker" may be that it was time to go to bed. The steps kept moving down, not up. This was of interest to me because for as much hair as I am losing (and yes I blame the kids for that), my kids are very good at doing what they are asked to do. They may try to state their case first, but they know that in the end what Mommy and Daddy says is what will be done. But the steps did not reverse course, and there was no pleading to hear them out. Just the footsteps continuing down stairs. So, I waited. Only a few seconds later entered my youngest into the entry way of the living room. She was wiping the hair from her face with a small smile while looking around the room as if she was entering the room for the first time. You know what I mean, it is that look you see when someone comes into a majestic church or building and looks around with that, "Wow this is a cool room" look on their face. Again, I was intrigued. I waited until she shuffled about half way across the floor and then announced to her in a very soft voice that it was time for her to go back to her bed. She stopped, looked in my general direction with her smile and headed to my bedroom. It was at this time the parent came out in me; it was time for me to go into my room, pick her up, and let her know while heading to her room that she does not just ignore Daddy that way. But as soon as I was about to get up and put my plan into motion, she comes out of my room and heads across the living room again as if she was going back to her room. (She still had that cute little smile) Confusion began to set in, until I notice her follow this pattern two more times one right after the other. And then it hit me...She is sleep walking.

While sitting there I began to understand she does not realize she is coming to our room most nights. I saw that all those times in her room while tucking her in, she had every intention of waking up in her own bed, and somehow ended up in ours. At this moment, I very softly walked up to her, picked her up, carried her to my room and gently placed her in my bed. I could do nothing else. How could I deny the subconscious desires of my daughter to be in a place she feels most comfortable and protected? I know one day she will grow out of this, so from now on Daddy will not be giving her such a hard time.

After I sat back down in the living room to complete the show I was watching, I began to think. All of the times in my life that I feel I am sleepwalking came rushing over me. Those times when I seem to be just "coasting" through life. Those times when my wife or a friend look at me funny and I realize they have been having an in depth conversation with me, but I did not hear a word. Those times in my life when I feel I have lost something, and I'm not sure if I will ever be the same. It always seems to be these times in life I begin to feel lost and uneasy with where I am. I begin to have those fears that creep up on us by just living. It is at these times I really want to feel comfortable and protected, and sadly most times don't know where to turn and end up just roaming aimlessly through my day. After these realizations, I prayed. "Lord, do I have that kind of relationship with you? Do I have such an intimate trust of You that my soul longs to find You when I am at my weakest moments? Lord, help me to be the kind of man that when I am sleeping walking in life something inside of me always leads me to You....Amen."

How Did I Get Here?

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 19:20:00 +0000

We all have dreams of what we wanted to do or what we are going to do with our lives. Am I the only one that has ever looked at their life and wonder…"How in the world did I ever get here?" May I bore you for a moment? May I take you down the path that I believed I would be on and then let you know where I am? I will try to make this a brief and as painless as possible.

In May of 2000 I graduated from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Ft. Worth, TX. In my mind, all of my dreams were finally coming true. I was married the greatest woman on the plant, had a brand new baby girl, and was setting to make my mark on the history of this small blue marble floating through space. If you would have asked me what I saw myself doing by the time I was 37 years old I would have said that I was going to be a minister (you notice I said minister…some come out of seminary saying they are going to be pastors, youth ministers, or missionaries…I didn't care…as long as I was doing what God wanted me to do) that gave everything to his God, his family, and his church. (Yes, in that order) I was going to be an author. In my mind I was going to be another Max Lucado. My words were going to leap off of the page and penetrate the hearts of the readers and inspire them to be great, both for themselves and for God. (Yeah, I know. Many that read these words will think…."Really, your blog is fun to read but you are no Max Lucado." I know, but a man can dream can't he.) I was going to be a sought-after speaker traveling around the world sharing with people how Christ can change our lives for good if we will just allow Him to move us freely. My dreams were set, and I knew that every one of them were exactly what God wanted for me. They had to be; look at all the great things that were going to happen in God's name because of my dreams.

Where I am at 37 years old is nowhere near what I just shared. I have been working for the last three years in the Records and Information Management field (people in the industry like to call it Information Architecture or Knowledge Management…it sounds cool) and have just recently been hired as the RIM Supervisor for a major company. I get up at 5 am to go to work and spend all day digging through boxes, working with information in our ECM system (Electronic Content Management) and managing our entire process to make sure that information can be stored and retrieve easily for all of our employees in the Americas Region. I then go home to a wife that also works and we begin dancing. Not in the romantic way you are thinking about. We begin a ballet set to the music of _______ (Add any hard rock band here…whatever would cause that feeling inside that your insides are shaking) and spend the rest of the day taking kids to whatever practice they have to go to, helping with homework (I now have three that are school age…wow), helping with dinner, getting baths, brushing teeth and putting to bed just in time for me to pass out either on the couch or in bed by about 9:30 pm or 10:00 at the latest. Then, I wake up at 5 am to do it all over again. (Not a lot of time for writing in there…hence almost a year without a post) :)

There have been many days that I stand there and look at my life and think, "Where is the church I am suppose to be ministering to? Where are the books on the bookshelf that I was to have written by now? Where are all of the speaking engagements that are supposed to be on my calendar? What happened with all of the dreams that I had? I then stand outside in my backyard with my hands raised to sky and cry out to my Lord….Thank You!!!!!

Yes, I know that this entire post has been set up to make you think that I believe that there is something missing in my life, and there very easily could be if Christ were not in charge. You see, there have been many times (and I'm sure there will be more) that I have sat in my chair at work or at home and thought that the path that God has me on is the wrong one. But as soon as those thoughts start to try to take control, Christ reminds me that I am not here to walk the path that "I" want to walk. I am here to walk that path that "HE" wants me to walk. Casting Crowns has a song named "Somewhere in the Middle." Biblical Truths flow from the lyrics of this song as strong as the Mississippi River. The chorus says this:

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or, are we caught in the middle?
Are we caught in the middle?

There is enough here in the chorus for me to write pages, but once again…I will try not to bore you. :) The part that really catches my eye for this post is this one, "With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is. But will we trade our dreams for His or, are we caught in the middle?" How powerful are those words.

There have been so many times in my life that I have tried to make God be what "I" wanted Him to be. I tried to put Him in a nice neat little package that made me feel comfortable with where I was in life and what I was doing. But we cannot expect God to stay in the little boxes that we build for Him. His is just too big and much too great to be limited in such ways. We have to be willing let go of the "God we want" and allow Him to be the "God He is". When we do this we begin to see life in an entirely new light. We begin to see that the dreams we have may not be exactly what He wants for us, even if they seem to do so much for Him. It then becomes easier for us to think of the possibilities of allowing ourselves to lay down "our" dreams and pick up "His" dreams for our lives. If we do not, then we are caught in the middle.

So, I may not be living the dreams that I dreamed earlier in my life but I can say that I am living the dreams that God has for me right now, and these dreams are pretty sweet.

Lord help us to see that when our dreams for our lives die, all we need to do is pick up Your dreams for our lives.

(Just so you know…this was going to be a topic of a book I wanted to write…I'm just too tired) :)

I'm Not Who I Was....Sometimes

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 18:41:00 +0000

I am Brandon Heath nuts right now...please bear with me. :) Take a look at the video and then proceed to my humble scrawling.

Brandon Heath - I'm Not Who I Was

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
______________________________________________

I love this song. It states with beautiful clarity the transforming power of coming to know Christ. Before Christ we are one thing, and after Christ we become something different. We see life different. We see hope different. We see death different. The list can go on and on. But, as the old saying goes, “The more things change, the more things remain the same.”

Now, I am not saying that Christ does not change us, because it is very clear that He does. What I am saying is that the change that takes place is as much a part of what we do as it is what Christ does. (Oh, I can just hear some people now, “Heretic!”…Just let me finish my thought, then feel free to leave a comment) :)

My point: The moment I realized I NEEDED Christ, you know really NEEDED Christ, I knew that my life would never be the same. And, it has NOT been the same. Life has been different. I know that I am accountable for the things I do every day and the way I walk the path that He has put before me. I know that when I walk, I do not walk alone. I know that my heart aches to be more like Him. My life has changed in dramatic ways. So technically, I’m not who I was. But, let’s look at this from a different angle.

Can I ask a question? If the transformation that takes place was all in God’s hands, then wouldn’t it be over at that moment that He came into our life? The transformation would be complete and I would no longer have any struggles to stay on the “straight and narrow.” Can I ask another question? Do any of you that have already claimed Christ as you Lord and Savior ever have a hard time staying on the “straight and narrow”, or is it just me?

I have struggles daily. I have those times in my life that I think to myself, “Brad, you just blew it that time.” I have those times in my life that if the world witnessed my actions they would never have guessed that I was a Christian. I am not alone in this. Paul said, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” If Paul failed, isn’t it alright to admit that we do also. Struggles come daily, and I do not always handle them the way I should.

So, maybe I do have to do something for the whole transformation thing to take place. What could that be......?

Luke 9:23 says, “Then he said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.’” Did you pick up the important word in this sentence? Deny…No. Cross…No. Follow…No. All of these are great words that we do need to practice, but it is not the important word in regards to this post. The important word is DAILY. We are to daily take up our cross. We are to daily die to ourselves and say to Christ, “I choose to follow You and let You guide my day.” There are days that I am Superman at doing this. There are days that as soon as my feet hit the ground I put my fist on my hips and proclaim with strength in my voice (you can just see the cape flapping behind me can’t you), “I am ready, willing and excited to allow Christ to take control today!” But, can I be honest. Those days do not happen as frequently as I would like. No, most days my feet hit the floor and my knuckles drag the floor and I mumble under my breath, “Oh, crap…another day.” I am about to admit something that may not shock a lot of people reading this post: It is during the knuckle dragging days that I am not proud of the things I do. It is during the knuckle dragging days that I echo Paul and say, “What I hate I do!”

So, does it take action on our part for the transformation to take place…I think so. Do we have to do more than just accept Christ as our Lord…I think so. Is this “action” we are to take something that has to happen every day…I think so. Is it hard to do this…I know so.

Am I more than I once was…I think so, but man does it take some work. (Which is what I think Brandon is saying) :)

Keep Looking Up!

I Lost One Of My Heros

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 14:07:00 +0000

I lost one of my hero’s yesterday.

This hero of mine was not a hero because of anything that he did with sports. This hero of mine was not a hero because of did anything in the music or movie industry. This hero of mine was not a hero because of what he did in politics. This hero of mine was a hero because of how he lived his life from day to day.

I only had the honor of meeting this hero of mine once, but it was at this encounter that John Sills became one of my heroes. John had come to Houston with his lovely wife Alicia to seek treatment for the cancer that was raging within his body. My wife and Alicia had been communicating with each other via email for some time, so when we found out that they were close we had to set up a meeting. Now, this is where I have to be honest. I wanted to meet John and Alicia so that they understood that they were not in this battle alone. I wanted them to know that our prayers and support were always going to be with them. I wanted to go to be a sign of strength for them in this very hard time. Those are the reasons that “I” wanted to go. I will now begin to tell you why GOD wanted me to go.

God wanted me to go to meet a true hero. You see, when we met in that simple “hamburger joint” to share a meal, I did not know what God had in store for me. We had a great visit. My wife and Alicia seemed to truly enjoy getting to finally meet after all those years of email communication. The typical joyful banter went back and forth across the table for several minutes. During this time, I was sitting next to my wife in the booth thinking to myself that they probably did not want to talk about “the illness”. I have worked years as a Hospice Chaplin! I have spent years studying and applying grief counseling in all kinds of very difficult situations! I know how people handle situations like these! You know what, I didn’t know diddly! After a few minutes of the “get to know you talk”, we began to move very comfortably into discussion of the journey that this lovely couple was walking together. Alicia moved the conversation the most. John seemed very tired from the traveling and all the tests, but when he did speak peace flowed from his words. John did not speak with perfect “theological” terminology (you know what I'm talking about, it seems that some try to fill moments like these with theology...like it will somehow make everyone feel better), but when he did speak a confidence of knowing that God was with him came out very clearly. His words were few, but the peace that covered him spoke volumes. I was in the presence of a true hero.

I am not here today to tell you that John is a hero because EVERY moment of his life portrayed such confidence. I was not with him every day. I know that he was human. I know that there were probably those times when the halls of his mind where only he and God dwell were filled with thoughts of fear, unknowing, and sadness. I am here to tell you that he is one of my hero’s because of these thoughts. He is one of my hero’s because he faced the path that God had placed him on with courage. Mark Twain once said, “It is curious—curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.” That is why John is one of my hero’s. He was placed on a path that none of us want to walk and stood with Moral Courage and said, “Thy will be done.” John is a hero because he proved that an illness can tear at your body but not have to also tear at your soul.

At 4:50 am on March 9th, this world became less of what it once was and heaven became just that much more.

We love you John.

I Need HIS Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:43:00 +0000

I am going to post a video that puts into Song what I think my Zombie friend put very clearly in words. I know I did not ask your permission first Zombie (sorry my friend) :)

Brandon Heath
Give Me Your Eyes lyrics

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,
Why have I never cared?

Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah
Yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what's underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?

Chorus

I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along

Chorus (x2)

Failure Is An Option...Or At Least I Hope It Is

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:42:00 +0000

Failure is not an option! Second place is the first loser! We need to focus on their strengths, not their weaknesses!

Any of that sound familiar?

We live in a world today that teaches us that we are not allowed to fail. We hate having to discuss failure with our children and seeing the pain that it causes them to the extent that we never allow them to fail. But this leads me to a question: It that realistic?

I mean really, is there anyone out there that has never failed? Anyone?

I heard the other day that Donald Trump is filing for bankruptcy. Again! This is the guy that has written books, done seminars, and placed his mug in front of as many cameras as he could touting that he knows what it takes to succeed. But, then he fails!

Can I tell everyone a dirty little secret? Shhhhhhh, come close……I HAVE FAILED!!!!

There have been times in my life that I have felt like such a failure that I never thought I would feel anything different.

But, I have learned a lot through my failure:
- I learned I better keep my eyes on the field and don’t look up at the ball when covering a punt. (That one hurt)
- I learned that winning does not always have to be reflected on the scoreboard.
- I learned that if you treat girls that way, they may not want to have anything to do with you.
- I learned that doing the right thing can cost you a job. (Yeah, I know that one is not really failure, but to many people on the outside who saw the job loss. They probably thought I was a failure with knowing the details)
- I learned that once you say a word, it can never be taken back.
- I learned the tighter I held on to something the more it slipped through my fingers.
- I learned that I can not control everything.
- I learned you better love and cherish those friends and family you have, because they will not be there forever.
- I learned I NEEDED Christ!

It is this last one that I want to focus on for a moment.

You see, there were things about scripture that I did not understand for a long time. (There are still a lot of things I do not understand, but that is another very lengthy post) Here is the one that kept me up at night the most: How can Christ teach us that it is in our weakness that we become strong. Really! Strength through Weakness! Huh? Because in the world that I see, if you even admit that you have a weakness you are kept at the bottom of the ladder. Because in the world that I see, our children are only hearing how great they are and how much “stuff” they “deserve” because we don’t want them to have any negative feelings or a bad self image. I am not seeing a world that embraces ones weakness. So, Christ must be setting us up to fail, right……Far from it.

In my life, it was when I was able to finally accept my weaknesses and my failures that I realized that Christ gave me a way to overcome them. Do I overcome them through understanding the psychology behind why I make those mistakes in life? No. Do I overcome them by developing a stronger core and therefore allowing the failures to fall away? No. I overcome them by going to Christ each and every day and letting Him know that I know that I am a failure. Then out of the Goodness of God and His Strength, He picks me up and looks me in the eyes and lets me know that through Him I can do all things. His Strength through my weakness. It is at that moment that I feel the greatest strength that I have ever felt and know that victory is possible. It is at that moment that I truly feel comfortable being who I am and who God made me to be.

Do I feel this strength at all times? No. And because I do not always feel this strength, those feelings of failure tend to creep back up and weigh me down. I begin to P&M (lets just call it pout and moan) and feel that the world is out to get me. I begin to get angry with myself and feel that I am not good enough for God. I look around at all the “Good Christians” that have it all together and wish I knew how they “lived the right life”. (When they really don’t, they just like to put on the face of having it all together….don’t get me started on that) I begin to crawl back to Christ to let Him know that I am not worthy to be around Him and that I have decided not waste His time with one more failure. And when I lift my face from the dirt, I see Him standing there holding a sign that reads, “Failures Welcome”.

As Christians we want to know how to shine the Light of Christ to world. Maybe we should allow the world to see our weaknesses. Maybe we should hang a sign over the entry of our churches that reads, “Failures Dwell Within, Come Join Us”…..then maybe His strength will shine through our lives.

Keep Looking Up!

The more I try to control things the more I realize I have control of nothing

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 04:58:00 +0000

This is one of my favorite songs right now. Again, I hope to elaborate with my thoughts, but right now I will just let the song speak for itself.

Keep Looking Up

Third Day
Revelation

My life,
Has led me down the road that's so uncertain
And now I am left alone and I am broken,
Trying to find my way,
Trying to find the faith that's gone
This time,
I know that you are holding all the answers
I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances,
On roads that never seem,
To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way,
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You

My life,
Has led me down this path that's ever winding
Through every twist and turn I'm always finding,
That I am lost again (I am lost again)
Tell me when this road will ever end

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way,
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without...

I don't know where I can turn
Tell me when will I learn
Won't You show me where I need to go
Oh oh
Let me follow Your lead,
I know that it's the only way that I can get back home

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way,
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You

Oh, give me a revelation...

I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You

Laughter is Contagious

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:05:00 +0000

Everyone needs a good laugh! This laughter is contagious.

God Bless and Keep Looking Up

Is There Anything You Still Run From? I do.

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 03:08:00 +0000

Since I don't have a lot of time and too tired to write, I may be expressing myself through these videos.

Maybe when I have more time I will go into more detail, but even if you don't like rock music you have to appreciate the story this video tells.

God Bless and Keep Looking Up

RED
"Death of Me"

I should have seen those signs all around me,
But I was comfortable inside these wounds;
So go ahead and take another piece of me now
While we all bow down to you;

You tear me down and then you pick me up,
You take it all and still it’s not enough,
You try to tell me you can heal me,
But I’m still bleeding and you’ll be
The death of me!

How can you end my affliction
If you’re the sickness and I’m the cure?
Too long I’ve faked this addiction,
Another sacrifice to make us pure;

You tear me down and then you pick me up,
You take it all and still it’s not enough,
You try to tell me you can heal me,
But I’m still bleeding and you’ll be
The death of me!

You tear me down and then you pick me up,
You take it all and still it’s not enough,
You try to tell me you can heal me,
But I’m still bleeding and you’ll be
The death of me!

I won’t forget;
I cannot forget this;
I won’t forget;
I’ll never forget this;
I won’t forget;
I cannot forget this;
I won’t forget;
I’ll never forget this;

I won’t forget!
I cannot forget this!
I won’t forget!
I’ll never forget!

You know I can never prove this solution;
You aren’t the one that I thought you were;
And so I learn to embrace this illusion,
The line that separates- it starts to blur;

You tear me down and then you pick me up,
You take it all and say it’s not enough,
You try to tell me you can heal me,
But I’m still bleeding and you’ll be
The death of me!

And you’ll be the death of me!

I will not forget!
I cannot forget this!
And you’ll be the death of me

How would you do it?

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 15:31:00 +0000

I saw this and thought it might be good for others to see.

It also made me ask a question of myself that I will pass on to you guys:

How would you do it?

Let me know what you think.

Keep Looking Up

Lake or River?

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:34:00 +0000

I was in a meeting the other day at work discussing different email management possibilities. We were discussing ways to automate the moving of emails that have been declared company records into a repository once the email is placed into one of the managed folders given to every employee within their Outlook client while keeping a stubbed copy in the folder so the employee can reference it whenever they need to. (Man, that was a mouth full…Did any of that make sense?) Let me put it a different way. We were trying to find a way to make a “Lake of Information” into a “River of Information”.

I wish I could take credit for that very interesting observation, but I can not. One of the other meeting participants said, “We have a lake, we need a river. We need this information to be flowing somewhere.” If the information is a lake it is only useful to the one with the lake. If the information is a river it becomes useful to many more people in many more areas. This got me thinking. (Many of you are saying…“Here he goes again”)

As Christians, we must focus on making the things that Christ has given us and the information He has provided to us (His Word and the Holy Spirits insight on His Word) a “River of Information”. I would like to think that many of us strive to do this, but I am not so sure. (I’m pointing at myself also)

I know that we like to say that we are doing this. I even remember singing a song as a youth: (Come on…everyone sing along if you know it)

I've got a river of life, flowing out of me,
Makes the lame to walk and the blind to see;
Opens prison doors, sets the captives free,
I've got a river of life, flowing out of me.

Spring up, O well, within my soul;
Spring up, O well, and make me whole;
Spring up, O well, and give to me
That life abundantly.

But, can I be very honest with you guys. It has been a long time since I have seen “The River” move with such power. It has been a long time since I walked into a church and really felt God moving in a strong way. I am not talking about an emotional response; I am talking about that “little voice” that speaks in your spirit to let you know that something special is happening right before your eyes. It’s been awhile…a long while. (Side note: I think that is why I get so emotional during baptisms at my church. It is a sign of the water breaking free…but that’s another post) :)

I feel like many of our churches today are just like many employees inboxes at work. They are great lakes of information, but that information goes no further than the inbox labeled with their address.

As Christians, we should be doing everything we can to tear down the dams that hold our water back. And if it is a natural lake with no dams, we should get our shovels and picks out and start building our own outlet to the nearest stream or river. Can you imagine the strength of a river that has all of the water from all our churches feeding it? It may just be a river that makes the lame walk and the blind see. It may just be a river that opens prison doors and sets captives free.

Keep Looking Up!

Not Right Now

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 20:56:00 +0000

I know its been awhile. For me to write there must be something moving me inside and a desire to write it down. I have some different things inside, just no motivation to write them down...right now. Blessings and Peace.

Keep Looking Up!

The Definition of Blessed

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 02:32:00 +0000

Thank you Lord for the gifts you've given me, Amen.

I'm Waiting

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:16:00 +0000

Found this article during lunch. I like how he writes on a topic that brings out so much emotion in all of us. Let me know what you think.

God Bless and
Keep Looking UP!!

I'm Not God......Thank God!

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:28:00 +0000

I was having a bad day a couple of weeks ago (see how long this post has been rattling around in my head...and if you asked my wife she would have said a bad "few" days), and while in my kitchen a moth went fluttering by my face. Most days, I would have gently cupped the creature in my hands and taken him to the door so that he could join his friends and family in the joy of finding illumination to dance around...but not today. Without a second thought I snatched the winged insect from the sky and slapped it down on the counter. I specifically remember thinking, "I am not in the mood to deal with you today!!!" (Yes, I know I should have rated this post PG-13...I'm sorry)

It is not like this moth had been bothering me for most of the day. It is not like I was fearful that fangs would shoot out of its mouth and it would begin to attack. No, I had been dealing with a lot of "crap" (could have taken that a little further but this a PG-13 post) that day and I did not want to deal with anyone or anything.

As soon as "the deed" had been done, I began to feel regret. I began to think about how I had lost control. It scared me. It bothered me. It saddened me.

I then began to hear my own words haunt me. I have made the point, during different lessons I've taught or just talking to friends, that we can believe the love that God has for us by what He doesn't do. We have all heard sermons or Bible studies discussing how much God loves us by seeing the things He has given us: A beautiful place to live. Family and Friends that love us. And, lets never forget the greatest gift of all...His Son. These are all great things that God has given us and we should be very thankful for each and every one of them. But, let us be thankful for the thing that He does not do also. He does not start over.

You see, if God so desired He could start all over with one snap of the fingers. He could look around at what we are doing to the home He has given us, the bodies He has given us, and to each other and say to Himself, "It just is not worth it anymore....I think I'll start over." The last sound that any of us could hear is...SNAP, and then nothing. No life with Him forever. No chance to see the children grow. No ability to watch a blanket of snow cover the ground this winter. But, he keeps His hands in his pockets and waits. Can you imagine the love it must take for us to show this kind of patience. Can you imagine the faith He must have in us to see the kind of things we are capable of and still say, "They can do better...and they will". Can you imagine the amount of grace and forgiveness it must take to be hurt (I know He is hurt because I disappoint Him on a daily basis. Am I the only one?) as often as He is and still look at us and say, "I love you".

I am so glad I'm not God, because if I were...we might all be in deep trouble.

Keep Looking Up!

A New Look On Fruit

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:43:00 +0000

I stopped by a fellow bloggers page today and ran across this post by Dfly. Whoa, seriously you can't keep reading this post with going over and reading the other first...it won't take long so go ahead....really you need to or the rest of this post may not make any sense. :)

Alright, we ready. After reading what Dfly had to say, I began to chuckle a little bit and thought, "That was a really random, but true post". How many times have we all had the exact same thing happen to us? Then it began to make me think. How many times do we allow ourselves to BE the exact same thing? Just stay with me a moment.

Whether it be with friends, family, at church, at work; how many times in life do we really allow how we feel on the inside to reflect on the outside. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that if you feel like a mess that you need to walk around with your hair sticking in all directions and half your shirt not tucked in. I'm just asking a question: How many times in life do we feel that we can really let our guard down and let people know how we really feel?

Let me say it this way:
We can't reflect whats on the inside at work...because we need to be professional (and lets face it, we may not have our jobs long if we let that happen)
We can't reflect whats on the inside at church...because everyone expects you say "Fine" or "Great" every time they ask you how you are doing. (Even though that is the place to do it if any, but I have already mentioned this point in another post)
We can't reflect whats on the inside with friends...because lets face it, if you start to complain to much they are not going to want to be around you for very long.
We can't reflect what on the inside with family...because most family members can't handle hearing the truth, or just don't really want to hear it.

We all go through our hard times in life. Whether it is a situation that others feel is justifiable in getting you down (illness, financial, etc) or it is just "one of those days" (or weeks or months), we all have times in our lives that we are just like Dfly's nectarine. We walk around looking like we have it all together, but if someone tried to find out what was on the inside...they would find someone hurting.

I'm not sure myself, but I think that the point I am trying to make is this (and I am pointing just as many fingers at myself): Christ has called us together to be there for one another. Can we say that we are truly unified in Christ if we do not have patience and the understanding to give those that are hurting the opportunity to speak freely? (I know, there is also the responsibility of the one hurting to want to find and take advantage of the opportunity when given...but that is another post) If we do our part to change the atmosphere around us and make it one of understanding and patience, we might find that some of those that we thought would never "come out of their shell" begin to feel safe and begin to open up. Then, we just might find that the nectarine becomes fresh again, right before our eyes.

And besides, we might be the nectarine tomorrow.

God Bless and Keep Looking Up!

Hollywood Needs More Like This

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:54:00 +0000

Had to make a quick stop by the blog. During my lunch I found this piece about Kirk Cameron, you know that guy that I remember my sister and every other girl around our age batting their eyes about. (It really made me sick at the time, but that is another post)

Just wanted to get this out there. When his movie comes out, I will go to see it just to support this "Teenage Heart Throb" that has grown into a great man of God.

Blessings and Keep Looking Up!

Barn Raising

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:46:00 +0000

I have always said that one of the saddest things about the society that we live in today is that lack of "community". Now, I may be the only one that feels this way, but I have always desired a return to the values that came before us.

Long ago, if someone within a community needed a barn the people all around them would gather for a day or a weekend and have a good old fashion "barn raising" party. Some would grab tools to build a structure and others would grab tools to build a meal. They would come together and get the job done (many times faster that anyone could do it today).

What a sense of community that must have been. I was always jealous, because I thought that sense of "community" was dead and gone in most people.

Then a very strange thing happened for me and the community in which I reside. A little friend of ours named IKE came blowing through, and I found that the idea of "community" is not dead and gone. It still lives very strongly in the hearts of people today. All we have to do is open our eyes to see it.

You see, my family and I recently moved into a new house. It is literally just a mile down the road from our old one; it is just a little bigger so that my "herd" doesn't feel that we are living on top of each other. But, with the move came a new set of neighbors (I really like the ones in the old house) and the whole "it is going to take a while to build a relationship" thing. Well, it didn't take as long as I thought it would. The Friday before the storm came through, neighbors came over to help me board up my windows and prepare to ride out the storm. We then moved over to the next house and did the same. While drenched with sweat and hands on knees due to not just the work but the speed in which we did it, I could not help but have a smile on my face. I very clearly remember thinking, "We are having an old fashion barn raising." My longing for that sense of "community" was being fulfilled.

The help did not stop there. After the storm, families came together to cook on grills. Food was shared, stories told and "community" was becoming stronger. When someone needed help, others were there. Everyone literally began leaning on their neighbors and friends to make this very hard situation a little more bearable, and it was.

I know all of you that are not around the Galveston/Houston area may be hearing nothing but horror stories about the storm (if you are hearing anything at all). And don't get me wrong, the devastation was tremendous. But, I was able to see something very beautiful come from something so devastating. I was able to find a "community".

Thank you all for your support and prayers. And thank you to my new friends that live just a few doors down. :)

God Bless and Keep Looking Up!

We Made It!

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:46:00 +0000

Just now getting power, Internet, and all the little things of life back. Will try to get back to posting a few thoughts when I'm not cleaning up from the storm. Keep Looking Up!

P.S.

How 'bout those Cowboys! :)

Red Alert!! Red Alert!! Warning!! Warning!!

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:35:00 +0000

Do not ever say that you were not warned. The closer the season gets, the more excited I get. I spend most of my time in this space sharing with you the thoughts that roll through my head about our spiritual walk, the church, and just things that me go "Hum". But for those that began to visit this blog early on, you know that I have another passion in my life. Dallas Cowboys football!!! :) So, I have warned you in advance. There will be times when I have to refer to the Boys. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!! :0)

God Bless and Keep Looking Up!

A Day Without Internet Continued

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:30:00 +0000

I was sitting on my couch the other night thinking about the last post and this Kutless song just popped in my head. I thought I might share it with you. I think they are making the same point. God Bless You All.

Keep Looking Up!

A Day Without Internet

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 02:34:00 +0000

The other day I had no Internet. I did not think that this would be a very big deal. Now, did you pick up the "I DID not think"? :)

I remember when it went down; I had a couple of thoughts go through my head (Yes! I have thoughts from time to time). :) I thought, "Oh well, no big deal I'll get it taken care of when I have more time." I also thought, (Due to needing a wireless router) "Oh well, I don't have the money right now, so I will wait till the next pay check to go invest in a new one."

After one day without connection (ONE DAY!), both thoughts went out the window. As soon as I lost my "connection to the world", I said to myself....self (sorry, a little nod to my dad) I need to get someone out here to get this up and running again, and I will be going to BestBuy on my way back from work and get a router even if my kids do need school supplies! (Just kidding about the school supplies...my kids will begin the academic season with all supplies in tow) :)

My reaction to one day of Non-connectivity (is that a word) really surprised me. Am I addicted? I don't think so. Do I get on the computer every night and surf the net? No, I can go several days of not even getting on the computer. So, why did I feel this need to be connected after only one day? Interesting.

After a couple of hours thinking(yes, my head started hurting after thinking that long...that one was for you John Paul), I came to a conclusion. The only thing that could have compelled me to get so bent out of shape after JUST ONE DAY of not being connected was that I knew that I was not connected. It was just the thought of not being able to pick up the computer and get online if I wanted that bothered me.

This thought led to another (I know that this sounds surprising to some that are reading this). Do I ever have the same reaction over Jesus? Just stay with me a moment.

You see, I go days without reading scripture (I know that I am not suppose to admit to that being this big spiritual giant...yeah right, I'm human also). I have had a few days go by and think, "Have I really spent quality time with the Lord in a while?" To be entirely honest with all of you out there (or am I talking to myself), I have gone through probably a month now feeling like I am really ignoring one of my best friends in the world. (There a some out there right now thinking...."Join the Crowd"...I know that I am not the best friend in the world...sorry)

Am I not suppose to get all bent out of shape (like I did with the whole Internet thing) when I go a day with my Lord? Should I not be throwing everything else to the back of my priority list when I notice that Jesus is sitting the corner waiting for some time? Man, I should be zooming into the BestBuy parking lot looking for exactly whatever I may need to get that connection back, but I don't. I just waltz through my day, after day, after day without paying any mind to the BestBuy of them of all. My Lord. Why?

I think it goes back to that "the thought of not being able to pick up the computer and get online if I wanted bothered me" feeling. I think that I always know that Christ is there, so I begin to take that for granted. Jesus promises us that He will always be there for us. That is a good thing. But, my taking that for granted and not doing my part in the relationship is a bad thing.

You want to know something, as read the words that I have just typed...the coolest thing in my mind right now is the picture of Christ sitting in the corner waiting for some time with me. Just think of it, the God of all creation seeks time with you, with me. As many times as I ignore Him...He is still there for me. As many times as I pass him by and say, "Not right now"...He just nods His head and takes His seat in the corner and waits His turn. Why, because He love me.

I think it is time to stand up....walk across the room....put my hand out and with shame in voice say..."No one puts Jesus in the corner...and I'm sorry my Lord".

May God Keep You and Bless You, May God's Light Shine Upon You ALL
and Keep Looking Up!

Oh, P.S.
That whole relentless devotion thing we just talked about is another reason I love dogs...but that is another post. :) Blessings and Peace!

Dreams Really Do Come True

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 02:08:00 +0000

My family and I have just returned (actually returned late Friday night, but I have just now recovered enough to sit in front of the computer) from our very first trip to Disney World. For those that have not read enough of my blog (and lets face it, I don't even know if I would even read it that often), I need to relay one very important piece of information....I have 4 kids. I have 4 children...one....two...three....four! My wife and I have four children because we did not want five (a little wink to Bill Cosby there). :) But going to Disney World with four children (ranging from the age 8 - 3...yeah you read that right) can be a very daunting task. Now, the beauty of this story is that my wife's Dad and Step-mother went with us (they actually picked up the tab...There would be no way we could afford to take FOUR CHILDREN to Disney World) so we were able to play a man to man defense not the zone defense that we are use to playing around the house.

The motto that you could not run from and even repeats in my dreams with Snow White's voice and the theme of "It's a Small World" going in the background was...Disney World, where Dreams Come True. The motto was everywhere. It was on the maps. It was on the banners that flowed through the wind in the park. It was on the merchandise (cups, hats, plates, etc). It was everywhere. Now this was my very first trip to Disney World, so I do not know if this an everyday motto for them or is it something that they had worked up for their "Year of Million Dreams" campaign. But let me say one thing...They are right!

Through some of the pictures that I am displaying on this post you will be able to see that the dreams of an 8 year old, 6 year old, 4 year old, and a 3 year old really did come true. Let me give you some examples:
My 8 year old loves the Disney Princess - We were able to have lunch at Cinderella's Castle on our second day there.
My 6 year old loves Toy Story - We were able to meet Woody and Buz
My 4 year old loves (and love is really not strong enough of a word) Tinker Bell - We were able to actually watch Tink fly from the top of the Castle to the ground on our last night there.
My 3 year old loves Donald Duck (Yes, I know many go for Mickey but my youngest has fell in love with a sailor) - She was able to give the fluffy Duck one of the biggest hugs he will ever get.
These were actual dreams coming true for four of the most important people in my life.

Disney really is a place were dreams come true.

My post does not end here. Disney did not have the same kind of magic for me that it had for the children, but it did have magic.

You see the motto that I will be able to quote till my dying day, "Disney, Where Dreams Come True", could read a little different for me. It could go something like this, "Disney, Where Blessings Can Be Counted". I know, it doesn't have the same kind of ring...but I like it. :)

Where the magic happened for me while at Disney came in the form of Counting My Blessings. I know that this is not a new idea and it does not just happen at Disney, but to have an entire week full of "blessing counting" can really do the soul good.

My grandmother use to say to my dad, and in turn my dad has passed on to me, "Son, sometimes you just need to stop and count your blessings." Now, this piece of wisdom has usually been passed from one to the other during hard times. You know, those times in your life when it is really easy to be negative about everything around you because life is just not going exactly how you expected. It is those times in life, when we need to stop and begin to count our blessings. That is exactly what I was able to do a lot of during my trip to Disney World.

While watching the amazement in the eyes of my children, my soul began to fill and even over-run with gratitude with what our Lord Jesus has given me. Is my life exactly where I thought it would be when I dreamed my dreams as a young child and young adult...NO, but I can say that I have been blessed beyond anything that I deserve. And as I began to focus on these blessings I began to see that through the years my dreams for my life that I thought were SO important were just details. The dreams that really matter...loving wife....beautiful and healthy children....a supportive family unit around us, those dreams have come true in ways that I could have never imagined.

Oh by the way, that having 4 children thing is one of those things that makes life better than I could have ever imagined. :)

So, I end this post with a Thank You:
Thank You Disney for being the place that Dreams Really Do Come True!
Thank You Jesus for blessing me with a life that I could never have imagined!
May we all have some time to "Count Our Blessings"

God Bless and Keep Looking Up!

Amazing!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Brad) — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 18:48:00 +0000

Yeah he hit 28 home runs in the first round of the Home Run Derby last night, but that is not why Josh Hamilton is being posted on my blog.

You have to read THIS STORY

This story was written in '07.
Josh now plays for the Texas Rangers.

Good for you Josh, and I'm not talking about Baseball!

God Bless and Keep Looking Up!