The Dude Abides

Talk About Jokes...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Tue, 19 May 2009 18:05:00 +0000

They must have gone with this title because Kathy Griffin already had "My Life on the D-List" trademarked.

Seriously, NBC. Don't insult our intelligence.

Fucking Amazing...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 01:35:00 +0000

Duderino'll bet some asian dude did this. Asians are super smart. No American could ever think of, let alone execute a plan like this. Fucking MIT and shit.

PS - Duderino sincerely apologizes for the lack of posts recently. But it is football season. And law school season. And work season. So, umm, he'll do his best to keep this place up to date. But he can't guarantee any regularity. Condolences.

Inappropriate!

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:52:00 +0000

There's probably nothing worse than humidity. That shit can make 80 degrees feel like 8,000. And when you live in a densely populated, major metropolis in which everyone walks and seems to always take the same Subway line you take, that makes it even worse.

Thus, Duderino would give anything to be out in California right now...sipping a mojito, pondering some waves and listening to The Doors.

Oh, and theweatherchannel.com totally lies. There is definitely more than 57% humidity today. More like 97%...

/commence daydreaming...

Quote of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:15:00 +0000

The Dude: [looks at man lazing in the pool] Are you sure he won't mind?
Bunny Lebowski: Uli doesn't care about anything. He's a Nihilist.
The Dude: Ah, that must be exhausting.

Are You There, Senator McCain? It's Me, P Diddy...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 04:16:00 +0000

"Alaska? You should've gotten Michelle Obama to be your running mate. Now, THAT would've been something strategic and fly."

Well played, Sir Diddy. Well played.

Inevitability...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 15:26:00 +0000

It means that no matter where you are - whether it be in the Subway tubes, on the street, or in a car - someone will not know where they are going and prevent YOU from getting where you're going efficiently.

Guarantee this has happened to you at some point, somewhere.

Tonight - Watch Conan O'Brien!

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:07:00 +0000

Some of Duderino's friends from High School, The Spring Standards, are going to be the musical guests!

This is a great achievement for these three ruffians from Southeast PA/Northwest DE and Duderino is super excited for them. They've been kicking ass for a solid, I don't know, ten years at least, now. And clearly, they're kicking even more ass today!

Congrats to James, James and Heather. Duderino will be watching!!

/though our joint acoustic rendition of Green Day's Welcome to Paradise in James' basement may still be my fondest memory of these three...

Attn. Hipsters: Guard Your Black Eyeliner...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:25:00 +0000

Apparently Williamsburg (the trendy Brooklyn neighborhood, not to be confused with the historic Colonial settlement) is the latest target in NYC violent crime, involving machetes and gang violence.

But this violence isn't directed at other gangs. Rather, these thugs are targeting the hemoraging hipster population of this "artsy" community.

So Duderino asks - who HASN'T thought about taking a machete to some hipsters?

Nothing more annoying than people who go out of their way to be "indie." Look assholes, Duderino doesn't care about your two bit, "just about to make it" band just because it's "indie." He'd take even such mainstream staples as Green Day over some random noise emanating from a one room studio in the "hippest" neighborhood in NYC. As long as the melody is sweet, Duderino's listening.

Still, Duderino is willing to bet some great emo tunes will be written about this...let Duderino just get his box of tissues ready.

Seriously though, there is nothing funny about gang violence. So Duderino genuinely fears for these individuals.

And as for these thugs - for the record, Duderino definitely would target the Upper East Side first, for a combination of financial and philosophical reasons...

Quote of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 18:23:00 +0000

"No, Walter, it did NOT look like Larry was about to crack! ... Well That's your perception."
- The Dude

Must Have Item of the Day Century...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:31:00 +0000

Ladies and gentleman, I give you - the 10th Anniversary Edition of the cinematic masterpiece which was the inspiration for this blog.

The film that spawned so much of Duderino's day-to-day idioms has found the most appropriate packaging ever.

Well played, someone (whoever came up with this gem).

Quote of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:58:00 +0000

"First of all, Dude, you don't have an ex. Secondly, this a fucking show dog with fucking papers. You can't board it. It gets upset, its hair falls out."
- Walter

Somehow, This Doesn't Seem Right...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:18:00 +0000

This morning, Duderino saw a seemingly white dude toting a man bag labeled, "National Association of Black Accountants."

Now, Duderino is no expert. But he's only known one dude with white to olive colored skin who was "black." And the dude he saw this morning did not resemble that dude in any way.

So, um, what gives?

Aw Mom, Just Five More Minutes...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 04:01:00 +0000

The last three weeks have been great. But today, Duderino goes back to school.

No more Thursday happy hours. No more weekend road trips. No more fun.

So long free time, Duderino will see you in December.

Happy Friggin' Monday. You'll have to excuse Duderino if he isn't exactly enthused this morning.

A Blue Hen in the White House??

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 20:35:00 +0000

Duderino and newly announced Vice Presidential hopeful, Senator Joe Biden of Delaware, share something in common - they're both University of Delaware Blue Hen Alumni.

[Delaware, I know, get your laughs in now...there, you done?]

So you'd assume Duderino would have a soft spot for Barack Obama's potential second-in-command.

But unfortch, Duderino remembers his commencement all too well. Actually, Duderino wasn't physically in attendance during the ceremony. But he heard about it from all of his peers.

See, as Duderino commented on another blog this afternoon, Senator Biden made a big mistake as the honorable speaker that day.

Graduation is supposed to be an exciting time, full of inspiration and good feelings. All that warm, fuzzy stuff. You know, "on this day you go forth as adults...independent and strong...intellectually advanced and with a way higher tolerance for alcohol..."

But what, pray tell, did Senator Biden want to talk to Duderino and his fellow graduates about on this momentus occasion?

The Iraq war.

Seriously, his speech was about Iraq. On our graduation day.

/Duderino hopes he makes better choices on the campaign trail

Quote of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 18:39:00 +0000

"It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past."
- The Dude

Those Silly Bloggers...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:44:00 +0000

Now, pardon Duderino's ignorance, but he's heard mainstream journalists say bloggers don't follow the "rules" of journalism numerous times. Yet he's never heard any inkling of what these supposed "rules" are.

If anyone can fill Duderino in on what these might be, he'd appreciate it. Because heretofore all he's known is, as with any employee, a journalist must adhere to the rules of the outlet for which he or she writes.

PS - in case you didn't gather, Duderino was NOT a journalism major.

Quote of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:52:00 +0000

"No, I'm saying, if he knows I'm a fuck-up, why does he leave me in charge of getting his wife back?"
- The Dude

In continuation of yesterday's stellar quote...

PS - thank God tomorrow's Friday!

Quote of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:11:00 +0000

The Dude: I mean we totally fucked it up man, we fucked up this payoff, we got the kidnappers all mad at us, and Lebowski, ya know, he yelled at me a lot but he didn't do anything, huh?
Walter: Well, sometimes, it's a cathartic...

Life Lesson of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:08:00 +0000

To Whom It May Concern,
If you have to announce to the world every little thing you do, you're probably too insecure. Sort that out. Nobody likes a braggart.

Sincerely,

- Duderino

Sex Slaves

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:40:00 +0000

Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Brandt: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Bunny Lebowski: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Brandt: Ah haha. That's marvelous.
The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.

This dude does not abide. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Are we all losing touch with reality?

Poor Wardrobe Choices...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:26:00 +0000

On his way to the PATH this morning, Duderino found himself in an interesting predicament.

See, he chose a white polo today to complement his jeans and awesomeness. But it seems at least two other dudes in Hoboken, NJ made the same choice, and were also walking to the PATH this morning around the same time. So Duderino was walking within 10 feet of at least two other dudes wearing white polos.

Consequently, he hasn't felt so Vanilla in quite a while. Good times on a Tuesday morning.

Quote of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:13:00 +0000

"Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself."

- The Dude

The International Olympic Committee

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:26:00 +0000

Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?

Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.

The I.O.C, They are simply pathetic. They are removing Baseball and Softball from the 2012 Summer Olympic games. Members of the I.O.C have cited the "lack of worldwide participation" as the basis for it's removal. What a bunch of horse shit! Here's what the I.O.C thinks an Olympic sport should be.

"I don't know what sports would come under pressure in 2020. Butit's important that the Committee keeps on the program sports that are popular, attractive to young people, have an element of entertainment and are attractive to broadcasting," -IOC Press Commission Chairman Kevan Gosper

Let us look at some of the adjectives they chose to use here:

Popular, Attractive to young people, entertainment

The I.O.C should have used some of the following to describe future prospective Olympic Sports: Boring, Geriatric, mind numbing, As much fun as dying from Lou Gehrig's Disease. Who in their right mind enjoys watching table tennis, squash (potential for 2012 games), Badmitton, Handball, ect.... The list of wretched games goes on ad nosium. Some of these I would consider to be enjoyable "activities." However Ping Pong should have never been made into an Olympic Sport. The I.O.C sucks. Why can't I watch an Olympic soccer match either? Duderino is totally within his element on this one! I fnd very little in the Olympics to be entertaining.

Quote of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 18:22:00 +0000

"All right, Plan B. You might want to watch out the front window there, Larry....This is what happens when you FUCK a STRANGER in the ASS, Larry."

- Walter

Thank god it's Friday. Duderino needs to go back to bed. Naptime...

Quote of the Day...

noreply@blogger.com (El Duderino) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:20:00 +0000

Donny: Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?
Walter: No, Donny. These men are cowards.

Apologies for the lack of quote yesterday and lack of "substantive" post today. Duderino's super busy and even though this blog started as a collaborative effort of five, it has dwindled to effectively just Duderino.

I mean, I'm sure you're all sitting there hitting refresh waiting for whatever is next, right? Sorry to disappoint...