Bob Pusateri

Data Saturday Chicago 2026!

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Data community events in Chicago have returned!

Using the Proper Tool for the Job

Thu, 23 May 2024 05:00:00 -0600

Do the tools you use make something more or less of an engineering effort?

Optimized Locking, Part I

Mon, 13 May 2024 05:00:00 -0600

Let's dive into optimized locking in Azure SQL Database!

Speaking at DataGrillen 2024!

Thu, 09 May 2024 08:07:00 -0600

I'm honored to be returning to DataGrillen!

Does Data Compression Speed Up Datatype Changes?

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 08:07:00 -0600

Does data compression make changing data types faster? Let's dig in and find out!

I'm Speaking at SQLBits 2024!

Wed, 07 Feb 2024 08:07:00 -0600

I'm extremely happy to be speaking at SQLBits this year!

Is HOLDLOCK Really the Same as SERIALIZABLE?

Thu, 03 Aug 2023 08:07:00 -0600

Does the `HOLDLOCK` table hint really use the `SERIALIZABLE` transaction isolation level? Let's experiment and find out!

Finding Install Media on an Azure SQL Virtual Machine

Tue, 23 May 2023 08:05:00 -0500

I spun up an Azure SQL Virtual Machine, but I quickly found that PolyBase wasn't installed. To add it I would need the install media of course, but how does one get that in an Azure SQL VM?

How To Remember SQL Clause Ordering

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 08:05:00 -0500

Despite the fact that I've now been writing and tuning SQL statements for over half my life, I still don't feel like I'm an expert. Whenever I need a reminder of this, all I do is ask myself where a GROUP BY clause goes in a SQL query. Does it go before or after WHERE?

Building A Redirect Service with Cosmos DB and Azure Functions

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 08:05:00 -0600

Design choices, tooling, and code I used to build a URL redirection service using Azure Cosmos DB and Azure Functions.

New and Improved - Now With Static!

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 08:05:00 -0600

I've been hard at work recently redesigning this blog and converting it from WordPress into a static site. Please don't be too shocked! Get it? Static…shocked… ok that’s my dad joke quota for the day. But honestly it's been a really interesting process that I'm excited to share with you!

Presenting at PASS Data Community Summit 2021!

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 19:36:00 +0000

It's that time of year again – the air is cold and that means it's once again time for PASS Summit. It really doesn't feel like a year has passed! While the pandemic once again means that the summit will be virtual, I'm still looking forward to the opportunities to present and (virtually) meet up with old friends and hopefully make some new ones too!

Session

I'm proud as punch of my new session this year, entitled Recovering With Minimal Impact – Advanced Database Restore Methods. Here's the abstract:

How I Digitally Capture Videotapes

Wed, 05 May 2021 16:35:52 +0000

For the past few years I have had an ongoing project to preserve all my family's old home movies. This has involved a deep dive into understanding videotapes, VCRs, and video capture technologies that I never thought I would do, but I feel it's necessary to get the highest quality copies of everything I can before these tapes and their contents degrade further. Every once in a while I get asked how I do this and what tools I use, and this time I decided I'm going to blog about it. So thank you, Kendal, for asking!

Video and Questions from my EightKB session!

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 15:37:43 +0000

I was extremely fortunate to be able to present about data compression at the EightKB SQL Server internals conference last week. If you missed my talk in person, you can now view it, as well as the entire day, on YouTube!

I was able to answer many questions during the session, but there were a few still left after time ran out. I wanted to address them all, so here they are!

What Is A SQL Server Big Data Cluster?

Mon, 07 Dec 2020 15:55:14 +0000

SQL Server Big Data Clusters (BDCs) are a highly anticipated feature of SQL Server 2019, but what are they – and how can their capabilities best be leveraged? Let's dig a little deeper and find out.

When SQL Server 2017 added support for Linux, the groundwork was laid for integrating SQL Server with Spark, HDFS, and other big data tools which are typically Linux-based. Big Data Clusters in SQL Server 2019 delivers on these integration possibilities and allows for both relational data and big data to be easily combined and analyzed.

I’m a Microsoft Certified Trainer!

Wed, 12 Aug 2020 10:26:09 +0000

I'm very proud to announce that I am now a Microsoft Certified Trainer for 2020-2021! I have benefitted greatly from skilled trainers throughout my career, and am really excited to now be an official member of this group!

I'm really looking forward to being a part of the MCT community, and have some big plans for the future now that I have earned this qualification. I would also like to thank John Deardurff for helping to guide me through the application process.

I’m Speaking at Data Community Weekender Europe!

Fri, 01 May 2020 01:16:59 +0000

I am extremely honored to be speaking at a new online conference – the very first Data Community Weekender Europe!

Data Community Weekender Europe was created to address the need for an online data platform conference since so many in-person events around the world have been cancelled as of late. It's taking place on Saturday 2nd May 2020. The organizers have put together an amazing schedule consisting of experts from all over the world, and it's going to be awesome!

Why You Shouldn’t Convert Old Home Movies To DVD (or Blu-Ray)

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 13:53:23 +0000

I have long been the digital archivist of my family, putting countless hours into tracing genealogy, scanning and organizing photos, and, recently, digitizing old videos. For the past few years, my labor of love has been converting VHS, Betamax, and 8mm camcorder tapes to digital formats so they can be preserved. It's been a tremendous undertaking in my spare time that I hope to share details of in the future.

I’m Speaking at Data Platform Discovery Day!

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 13:17:35 +0000

I'm always honored to be chosen to present at events, but I'm especially happy to be speaking at the first ever Data Platform Discovery Day!

Data Platform Discovery Day is "A free one-day virtual conference introducing you to the Microsoft Data Platform", and it's new this year. It's actually 2 days, consisting of 10 sessions, each 50 minutes long. There's a U.S. edition taking place on April 29, and a European edition on April 30. Anyone can attend or speak at either edition, the only real difference is time zone convenience.

Understanding Azure SQL Deployment Options: The Difference Between SQL VM and SQL Database

Tue, 14 Apr 2020 14:07:43 +0000

When migrating databases to the cloud, requirements can differ between organizations and often between applications as well. One deployment option does not fit all. With Azure, you have two choices: SQL virtual machines or a fully managed SQL database service. Understanding the differences between the two is the first step to choosing the right deployment option for your workload. If you would like to learn more, download Microsoft's e-book "Future-Proof Your Data Infrastructure with Azure: A Business Case for Database Administrators."

New: Azure Cosmos DB Free Tier!

Fri, 06 Mar 2020 14:31:30 +0000

For those wanting to experiment with Azure Cosmos DB for free, a great option has long been the Azure Cosmos DB 30 Day Trial, which is awesome because you can keep renewing it in perpetuity. But now there's something even better – an entire free tier!

That's right! Microsoft has just announced Azure Cosmos DB Free Tier. You get 400 RU/second and 5GB of storage for free. Forever. No need to renew every 30 days!

The Luhn Algorithm

Thu, 20 Feb 2020 14:05:41 +0000

Checksums can be very helpful for validating that data is intact and free from simple mistakes. They are extremely fast to calculate, and computing power has made them all but trivial over the past few decades. Because of this, checksums often hide in plain sight. One of these is the Luhn Checksum, which is produced by the Luhn Algorithm.

Updating the PowerShell Kernel in Azure Data Studio

Sun, 02 Feb 2020 19:32:30 +0000

In my previous post, I discussed an issue I encountered where comments caused strange issues in a PowerShell notebook in Azure Data Studio. I opened an issue in GitHub about this, and got some very prompt feedback from a member of the team.

It turns out I did not have the latest version of the PowerShell Kernel running on my machine. The latest version is currently 0.1.3, and I had 0.1.2. Upgrading appears to have solved this issue for me – yay!

Strange PowerShell Notebook Behavior When Comments Are Involved

Sun, 02 Feb 2020 14:38:26 +0000

This is not the blog post I was intending to write. I started off writing about a different topic, and had some code that I wanted to share in a PowerShell Notebook. Getting that notebook to behave like it should have, however, is another story entirely and worthy of its own post – this one.

PowerShell Notebooks are a great new feature in Azure Data Studio, first becoming available in the November 2019 release. Like SQL notebooks, PowerShell notebooks are based on Jupyter Notebooks format, which are interactive documents containing text and executable code blocks.

SQL Saturday Chicago 2020 Schedule Posted!

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 14:52:34 +0000

We have just under two months to go until SQL Saturday Chicago 2020!

This year we received over 150 abstracts, and we are very pleased to announce our schedule. Thank you to all who submitted!

I hope to see you on Saturday, March 21, 2020, at Benedictine University in Lisle for what will be a wonderful day of free training, networking, and career development. (Lunch is available for $15.)

Chicago SQL Association – Now With A New Logo!

Thu, 23 Jan 2020 19:11:51 +0000

A while back I wrote about starting a not-for-profit, detailing the genesis of the Chicago SQL Association. This organization allows us to better manage the finances of our user groups and our SQL Saturday event. That post has proven quite popular, so I can only assume it has been helpful to others looking to set up their own legal entities. With that in mind, I would like to share our recent experience of getting a new logo designed.

Session Feedback: PASS Summit 2019 Edition

Mon, 02 Dec 2019 14:52:15 +0000

Another PASS Summit has come and gone, and once again I find myself extremely fortunate to have been able to attend and speak. This year was also extra special for me, as it was my first time attending as a Microsoft MVP, and also as a PASS Summit Official Blogger.

I'd like to take a moment and thank everyone who attended my session on Azure Data Lake, and give an extra-special shout out to those who took the time to fill out session evaluations. As a speaker, I am always looking to improve my presentations and my presenting skills in general, and candid feedback from my audiences is an absolute necessity to do so.

SQL Saturday Chicago 2020 Pre-Conference Sessions

Wed, 20 Nov 2019 14:44:02 +0000

The SQL Saturday Chicago 2020 team is very happy to announce this year's pre-conference sessions!

Premium Performance Tuning by Erik Darling
Data Science with Databricks by Ginger Grant
Leveling Up Your Azure Skills – Implementing Data Platform like a Pro by Joey D'Antoni
Bookmarks, Brain Pixels, and Bar Charts: Creating Effective Power BI Reports by Meagan Longoria

Pre-conference sessions will take place on Friday, 20 March 2020. You can find out details about each session, pricing, and register by using the above links.

I’m a Microsoft MVP!

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 13:39:29 +0000

The Friday before I left for PASS Summit, I was shocked and surprised to find out that I had been presented the Microsoft Most Valuable Professional (MVP) award for Data Platform.

My shock was genuine, as this was just about the last thing I was expecting. And then the congratulations and other kind words started rolling in from tons of #sqlfamily and other corners of the internet. My Twitter and Facebook exploded. I didn't get very much done that day. PASS Summit was also an even more incredible experience than usual as I had so many people congratulating me in person, and saying how surprised they were that I wasn't an MVP already.

Liveblog: PASS Summit 2019 Keynote (Day 2)

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 15:56:12 +0000

My live coverage of the keynote on day 2 of PASS Summit 2019!

Liveblog: PASS Summit 2019 Keynote (Day 1)

Wed, 06 Nov 2019 15:43:19 +0000

My live coverage of the keynote on day 1 of PASS Summit 2019!

I’m Presenting at PASS Summit 2019!

Mon, 04 Nov 2019 13:40:36 +0000

I don't know where the last year went, but it's once again time for PASS Summit. It really doesn't feel like a year has passed! This will be my eighth PASS Summit as an attendee and my seventh as a speaker. I know I'm extremely fortunate to have been able to attend and present so many times, and am looking to the incredibly fun – and exhausting – week ahead! Be sure to follow me on Twitter as I will have plenty of updates throughout the week. Here's what I'll be up to:

Microsoft Focus Groups at PASS Summit 2019!

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 12:16:38 +0000

This year Microsoft is conducting focus groups at PASS Summit. Attendees will be able to meet with members of various product teams and either provide feedback on existing features or learn the roadmap for where different facets of a product are headed.

Focus groups will be taking place throughout the day on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Rie Irish (@IrishSQL) has posted a full schedule on her blog, with registration links for each. (Separate registration via EventBrite is required.)

Finding Your Isolation Level

Thu, 17 Oct 2019 17:32:48 +0000

Often when I am troubleshooting SQL Server or Azure SQL Database performance issues which I believe to be related to concurrency, I get curious about what isolation level is being used. But how does one find out the isolation level a query is executing with? There are actually several locations that may need to be checked.

Isolation Level Hierarchy

Isolation level settings can be configured in three different places:

I’m Presenting at GroupBy!

Thu, 03 Oct 2019 21:11:07 +0000

I'm always happy when I have the opportunity to present a session for an audience, but I am especially excited about delivering a session for GroupBy next week! GroupBy is a free online training event that has been going on for about three years. I've always thought it was a great concept, but it hasn't been until now that the stars have aligned and I am able to participate.

Upload Directly to Azure Blob Storage Archive Tier with PowerShell

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 12:39:18 +0000

Last year I wrote about how to upload data to Azure Blob Storage Archive Tier, and included a PowerShell script to do so. It's something I use regularly, as I have hundreds of gigabytes of photos and videos safely (and cheaply!) stored in Azure Blob Storage using Archive Tier.

Things Just Got Easier!

Microsoft recently announced some enhancements to Azure Archive storage, one of which is the ability to upload directly to the access tier of your choice. Previously, you could only upload objects to your account's default tier (hot or cool), and then had to change each object to your desired tier individually. The PowerShell script I shared last year did just this. Now you can upload objects directly to any tier, thanks to a new parameter in the Set-AzStorageBlobContent cmdlet.

Speaking at 24 Hours of PASS: Summit Preview 2019!

Thu, 29 Aug 2019 19:00:51 +0000

With PASS Summit 2019 quickly approaching, PASS is organizing a sneak peek at some of the sessions presented at Summit in a 24 Hours of PASS event coming up on September 10-11.

I'm very happy to be delivering a brand new session entitled Dipping Your Toes In: Azure Data Lake for DBAs. If you've worked with data or have DBA experience, but aren't really familiar with what a data lake is or how you would use it, this is the session for you!

AI-Powered Alt Text in PowerPoint

Wed, 21 Aug 2019 17:16:34 +0000

I was working on a slide deck and did something I don't normally do – I added a photo. Usually the graphical content of my presentations involves diagrams or other vector art – I don't often have the need for actual photos. But this time I did, and I was really surprised to see that PowerPoint generated a text description of the photo and placed it in the alt text field. It also superimposed it on top of the image, which is how I discovered this was occurring to begin with.

PASS Summit 2019 Schedule is Live!

Wed, 07 Aug 2019 16:38:59 +0000

After months of hard work on the part of volunteers and PASS HQ, the session schedule for PASS Summit 2019 is live! You can find it here. My hat goes off to the fine people who put this together – building conference schedules is not for the faint of heart.

Now that session times and locations have been determined* it's a good idea to give a little thought about which sessions to attend ahead of time. PASS provides a schedule builder tool just for this purpose! Additionally, this tool provides feedback to PASS HQ about how many people are considering attending a session. If there is strong interest in a session ahead of time, it may be moved to a larger room.

Speaking at SQL Saturday Indianapolis 2019!

Tue, 06 Aug 2019 12:30:04 +0000

SQL Saturday Indianapolis is coming up quickly – it's in less than two weeks! I am very happy to be returning to Indy on Saturday, August 17 to deliver my session Dipping Your Toes Into Azure Data Lake for DBAs.

Abstract: As a data professional, you know what data is, and hopefully know what a lake is too. But what's a Data Lake? This session covers the very basics of Azure Data Lake, and is geared towards those who are familiar with relational databases and also curious about other technologies. Topics covered will include Data Lake storage, security basics, and an introduction to U-SQL, Azure Data Lake's query language. We will finish up with architecture examples showing real-world use cases highlighting Azure Data Lake's strengths. Attend this session to see how Azure Data Lake can complement your existing relational database skills, and give you a great new tool in your data toolbox!

Test Your Restores. TEST. YOUR. RESTORES.

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 12:39:59 +0000

In the past few months I've had not one but two shining examples of how having a backup strategy meant absolutely nothing when it came time to restore from a disaster. All the backup planning in the world is completely useless if you can’t successfully restore your backups.

The Ransomware

I had a client that was hit by a ransomware virus, encrypting several of their systems including the database server. Not to worry, though, they had "full backups" of all the affected machines, done by a third-party backup utility. After taking a day to cleanse their network, they restored these backups onto their servers. Now it was just a simple matter of bringing all the applications back online, right? Well, not exactly…

Introducing PASS Summit Learning Pathways

Tue, 21 May 2019 02:10:26 +0000

As an attendee, deciding which sessions to attend at conferences can be a daunting endeavor. With so many choices available and the impossibility of being able to attend every interesting session, it really can make sense to buy recordings if they are available.

One of the ways PASS is trying to help for Summit 2019 is by introducing Learning Pathways, which are curated sets of sessions designed to help attendees achieve a goal. Each pathway will consist of at least three sessions, presented by at least two different speakers. The pathways being offered in 2019 will be:

I’m A PASS Summit Official Blogger!

Mon, 06 May 2019 13:24:06 +0000

This year, PASS is introducing the PASS Summit Official Blogger program, and I'm very happy to announce that I'm a part of the inaugural group!

For many years there has been a bloggers' table at PASS Summit keynotes, where community members can live blog all the latest happenings and announcements. This year, PASS is kicking it up a notch with the creation of the official blogger program!

Topics I’d love to see at Conferences

Thu, 11 Apr 2019 17:49:47 +0000

The Call for Speakers for PASS Summit 2019 has just closed, and now the Program Committee will begin the task of evaluating speakers and sessions and using those results to build a schedule.

It's not easy.

Really, it's not. I've served on the Program Committee numerous times and there's a lot of effort that goes into building that schedule. There are also many difficult decisions made, and many great sessions that there just isn't a timeslot for because they were pre-empted by an even better or more timely topic.

SQL Saturday Chicago 2019 Wrap-Up

Tue, 26 Mar 2019 18:43:27 +0000

Another SQL Saturday Chicago has come and gone, and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on what we have spent the last 11 months planning.

It truly was our best SQL Saturday yet, with 422 attendees. We also ended with 130 on our waiting list, which is another record. Even with this larger venue it appears our demand still exceeds the amount of room we have.

Why I Love SQLBits

Wed, 20 Feb 2019 13:38:06 +0000

With SQLBits coming up quickly (it's next week!) I wanted to take a few moments to write about what very quickly has become my favorite conference. It's an awesome experience and I am so grateful that I am able to attend, volunteer, and present there for a second year.

It's Not PASS Summit

I love PASS Summit – no surprises there. I've written many posts about it, why you should attend, and how to prepare for it over the years. But I think it's really important to point out that SQLBits is not PASS Summit, nor is it organized by PASS in any capacity. It's a completely separate event, arranged by a tremendous group of dedicated organizers, and it also happens to be Europe's largest SQL Server conference for data professionals.

Saving to Excel in Azure Data Studio

Tue, 12 Feb 2019 14:52:44 +0000

Azure Data Studio continues to grow on me. I previously wrote about getting my favorite keyboard shortcuts to work, which made me very happy, but now for a feature I love even more – saving result sets to Excel!

Yes, I know, spreadsheets can be evil. They can even be places where good datasets go to die, but it's important to remember that they're a necessary evil. Sometimes you just need a result set in a spreadsheet, whether you want it to be in one or not.

Join Me for PASS Data Expert Series!

Tue, 05 Feb 2019 18:06:58 +0000

I'm very honored to have one of my PASS Summit sessions chosen for the PASS Data Expert Series, taking place this Thursday, February 7th!

This is an awesome opportunity to see some of the top-rated sessions from this year's PASS Summit. Included is my session on SQL Server Management Studio, which ended up being the second-best attended session of the entire conference. I will be available to answer any questions that come up during the presentation.

SQL Saturday Chicago 2019 Schedule Posted!

Mon, 28 Jan 2019 14:21:10 +0000

We have just under two months to go until SQL Saturday Chicago 2019!

This year we received 148 abstracts from 63 different speakers, and we are very pleased to announce our schedule. Thank you to all who submitted!

I hope to see you on Saturday, March 23, 2019, at Benedictine University in Lisle for what will be a wonderful day of free training, networking, and career development. (Lunch is available for $15.)

I’m a 2019 Friend of Redgate!

Wed, 23 Jan 2019 14:03:53 +0000

I am very proud and happy to be a Friend of Redgate for a sixth year!

If you’re not familiar with the Friends of Redgate program, we work with the Redgate development and product teams to provide feedback on existing products, new tools, and feature enhancements. You can also find us doing things like speaking at events, writing articles on Redgate tools, and participating on the Redgate forums. Last year, I even got to present at SQL in the City Summit in Chicago as a result of being in this program.

Presenting for the PASS HA/DR Virtual Group

Mon, 14 Jan 2019 16:25:35 +0000

I'm very happy to be taking part in a panel for the PASS HA/DR Virtual Group!

Topic: Ask Me Anything about SQL Server High Availability and Disaster Recovery

Panel: David Klee, Ed Leighton-Dick, Anthony Nocentino, Bob Pusateri

Date/Time: Tuesday 15 January 2019, 18:00 UTC

Over the past year, our meetings have had LOTS of questions that typically cause us to go well beyond our scheduled hour. This time, we're dedicating an entire meeting to them! Bring whatever questions you might have about HA/DR features, architectures and anything else!

SQL Saturday Chicago 2019 Pre-Conference Sessions

Mon, 07 Jan 2019 14:02:55 +0000

The SQL Saturday Chicago 2019 team is very happy to announce this year's pre-conference sessions! We received many submissions this year, and are pleased to offer the following:

Managing and Architecting Azure Data Platform by Joey D'Antoni
An Introduction to Data Science With Python for Data Professionals by Chris Hyde
Power BI in a day Hands-On by Ravi Kumar
Kubernetes Zero to Hero by Anthony Nocentino

Pre-conference sessions will take place on Friday, 22 March 2019. You can find out details about each session, pricing, and register by using the above links.

Presenting a Pre-Con at SQLBits 2019!

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 14:58:44 +0000

I was very fortunate to attend my first SQLBits last year, and wow was it an amazing time! Not just because it was in London either (though that was great too!) but because it is a tremendously well-organized conference with some incredible sessions and opportunities to network.

This year I not only get to return, but am honored to be presenting a pre-conference session with David Klee!

Looking Back at 2018

Thu, 27 Dec 2018 13:37:39 +0000

2018 is almost over, and it's been an incredibly busy year for me. I've done more speaking and community activities this year than ever before, and had something big going on almost every month! In this, my final post of 2018, I thought I'd take a look back at some of the highlights.

January

I started off the year with my first-ever trip to SQL Saturday Nashville. While the weather didn't cooperate on Friday (an ice storm shut the venue down, leading to the cancellation of pre-conference sessions) things were back to normal by Saturday and it was an excellent event that I will be happy to return to sometime!

Free Microsoft Icons for Blogging and Presentations

Thu, 20 Dec 2018 14:40:07 +0000

When designing presentations or writing blog posts, I try to use good looking images whenever possible. When mentioning Microsoft technologies, quality copies of logos or icons are really nice to have, though not always easy to find. Image searches often provide results, but the legality of using images found via that method is questionable. Thankfully, Microsoft provides a collection of high quality images just for this purpose!

Getting SSMS Keyboard Shortcuts in Azure Data Studio

Tue, 18 Dec 2018 16:00:39 +0000

Azure Data Studio (formerly Microsoft SQL Operations Studio) is Microsoft's new "cross-platform, lightweight tool for modern database development and operations." It is not a replacement for SQL Server Management Studio (not yet anyway), but I can see it becoming one over time. It is under constant development and improvement, and if you tried it back when it was first released and didn't like it, I urge you to give it another spin. I find myself using it more and more because I really like the feel of it.

PASS Summit 2018 Session Feedback

Thu, 06 Dec 2018 17:00:22 +0000

Another PASS Summit has come and gone, and as always I feel extremely fortunate to have been able to attend and speak! Thank you to everyone who attended my sessions, and an extra-special thank you to those of you who took the time to fill out session evaluations. Speakers are always looking to improve their craft, and the best way to do so is with candid feedback from attendees. Your constructive comments and criticism really do matter!

Now that the session evaluations have been returned, I wanted to share the comments I received.

I Did Not Do Well In College

Thu, 29 Nov 2018 13:54:29 +0000

I was going through some papers the other day and came across my undergraduate transcript, something I haven't laid eyes on in probably a decade. Reading through it was a humbling trip down memory lane. In the 12 years since I've graduated, I clearly remember (more like mis-remember) doing better in some courses than I actually did. Also, I have no excuse for my sub-par performance in some classes. But I have no regrets, as this is absolutely a part of what brought me to where I am today. Want to see what I mean? Read below and I'll take you through my transcript.

Speaking in Boston in December!

Wed, 28 Nov 2018 14:40:04 +0000

I'm very happy to be travelling to the Boston area in a few weeks! I will be speaking at the New England SQL User Group, which meets in Burlington, Massachusetts, on Wednesday December 12, 2018.

I will be delivering my session Locks, Blocks, and Snapshots: Maximizing Database Concurrency. This takes a look at SQL Server’s available isolation levels, what they are, how they differ, and why the default setting of “read committed” may not be appropriate for your workload. I'll also have some demonstrations that show how different isolation levels can determine not only the performance, but also the result set returned by a query. And on top of that, I'm going to make it all entertaining as well!

Azure Cosmos DB 30 Day Trial: The Gift That Keeps On Giving!

Tue, 27 Nov 2018 14:17:59 +0000

With the holiday season upon us, it's important to remember that it is always better to give than to receive. This year, the Azure Cosmos DB team is doing just that, and giving us a ton – in the form of the Cosmos DB 30 day trial. But this isn't just a single 30 day trial, it's renewable unlimited times!

Now you can create a Cosmos DB container and make use of any Azure Cosmos DB features you like (including geo-replication to up to 3 regions) for 30 days for free. Once the trial ends, your database will be deleted, however you can immediately create another trial, re-load your data, and get back to experimenting and learning Cosmos DB!

Farewell etaoin shrdlu

Tue, 20 Nov 2018 14:49:43 +0000

While browsing Reddit last night, I came across "Farewell etaoin shrdlu", a 30 minute documentary showing the last day the New York Times used hot metal typesetting to print their paper, which was July 2, 1978.

I've long been fascinated by Linotype machines, which cast molded lead "slugs" for a line of type. They're extremely mechanical and really fun to watch. There are many videos to be found on YouTube detailing how they work. This particular documentary doesn't go into great detail, but gives the basics. It also shows the entire process – how text goes from the Linotype machine all the way to a printing press.

Liveblog: PASS Summit 2018 Keynote (Day 2)

Thu, 08 Nov 2018 15:57:17 +0000

All the news from the Keynote on day 1 of PASS Summit 2018!

Liveblog: PASS Summit 2018 Keynote (Day 1)

Wed, 07 Nov 2018 16:02:34 +0000

All the news from the Keynote on day 1 of PASS Summit 2018!

PASS Summit 2018: Where I’ll Be

Thu, 01 Nov 2018 12:47:24 +0000

I don't know where the last year went, but it's once again time for PASS Summit. It really doesn't feel like a year has passed! This will be my seventh PASS Summit as an attendee and my sixth as a speaker. I know I'm extremely fortunate to have been able to attend and present so many times, and am looking to the incredibly fun – and exhausting – week ahead! Be sure to follow me on Twitter as I will have plenty of updates throughout the week. Here's what I'll be up to:

PASS Summit Tip: Evening Events

Tue, 30 Oct 2018 14:55:48 +0000

PASS Summit is now approaching really quickly, so this will be my final tip for the year. I've mentioned in previous posts about the tremendous networking opportunities you will find at Summit, and I'm going to bring that up again, because I really feel it's that important.

There is a ton that goes on during the day at PASS Summit, and even more happening in the evenings. Once the sessions are done for the day, there are so many ways to meet and connect with people. You will find official PASS activities, like the v.20 Celebration (formerly the "Welcome Reception"), and the Exhibitor Reception. (Hint: These events involve food – at the very least you should stop by and grab a bite to eat!) You will also find official community hosted events such as game night, the networking dinner, SQL Karaoke, and the WIT Happy Hour, just to name a few.

Presenting at SQL Saturday Portland Oregon!

Mon, 22 Oct 2018 14:29:53 +0000

I'm very proud to once again be speaking at SQL Saturday in Portland, Oregon, coming up on November 3!

Portland is one of my favorite cities and has long been one of my favorite SQL Saturday events. It also a wonderful way to ease in to a great week at PASS Summit, and the start point of the SQLTrain, both of which I mentioned in my PASS Summit Tips!

Dropping Offline Databases? Be Careful!

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 17:34:43 +0000

Well, maybe the title is a little bit harsh. You absolutely can drop a SQL Server database that's offline, but remember that its files won't be deleted if you do.

Safely Dropping Databases

At a previous employer, we had a well-defined process when dropping databases for a client. It went something like this:

PASS Summit Tip: Food

Fri, 12 Oct 2018 13:49:53 +0000

This week's PASS Summit Tip is all about food. And with all the learning and networking opportunities you'll find there, you're going to need a lot of it!

Have you ever been to a wedding where the food is just "meh"? It's edible, but nothing great. You can't blame the happy couple for it, because they're footing the bill and feeding 100 or 200 people gets expensive quickly. And the food's just a small detail of the wedding anyway – the real fun has nothing to do with the meal. Hopefully they at least have an open bar….

T-SQL Tuesday #107: Death March

Tue, 09 Oct 2018 13:16:51 +0000

This Month's T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by Jeff Mlakar, and he has asked for us to tell the tale of a project that went horribly wrong.

This will be short, but it's one of my favorite stories of a project that wasn't totally thought through. I (thankfully) wasn't part of the team for this, but the way word spreads in IT, my group heard of this, and we were shaking our heads in disbelief very quickly.

PASS Summit Tip: Pack Some Power!

Fri, 05 Oct 2018 12:37:12 +0000

This PASS Summit tip is all about power. Electricity. Inconveniencing electrons for your own personal benefit. If you're attending a tech conference, chances are really good you'll have multiple computing devices with you, and each of those devices will need power. And if you're like me, you'll be doing plenty of tweeting and picture-taking, and perhaps your device will be using more power than normal so you may need to charge more frequently. With a little planning ahead and some help from this post, you can make sure all your devices stay charged all day long!

Presenting Two Sessions at PASS Summit 2018!

Wed, 03 Oct 2018 12:45:47 +0000

I've been honored to present a session at PASS Summit for the past few years, but this year I am especially humbled as I had not one but two abstracts accepted! The first is an introduction to Azure Cosmos DB. The other is covering some of my favorite SSMS and T-SQL tips and tricks that can help you save time!

Select Stars: A SQL DBA's Introduction to Azure Cosmos DB

Level: 200
Where: Skagit 4 (TCC Lower Level)
When: Thursday November 8, 2018 1:30-2:45pm

PASS Summit Tip: Hearing Protection

Thu, 27 Sep 2018 12:27:01 +0000

The next in my series of PASS Summit Tips may seem a bit strange, but I assure you it comes from experience: Parts of PASS Summit can be loud.

My handy-dandy earplugs

I'm not referring to the official events themselves; if you're in a session and feel it's too loud, maybe take a seat farther away from a speaker. What I'm really referring to are the after-events, of which there are plenty. Many of which involve karaoke, some will even have live bands. I can assure you that this will be loud.

New Data Set: Chicago Parking Tickets

Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:44:06 +0000

I'm always looking for new and interesting data sets for demonstration purposes. I enjoy using data that people can relate to – not only is it easily understood, but often it can be entertaining as well. This data set of real-world parking tickets does all that.

A few weeks ago I came across this blog post by Matt Chapman. Matt filed FOIA requests with the City of Chicago and, after multiple attempts, was able to get access to over 36 million parking tickets written between 2003 and 2016. Matt goes on to explain Chicago's parking ticket database, how he processed the data, analyzed it, and in one location got Chicago to put up additional "No Parking" signs to reduce parking tickets in that spot by 50%. That is most definitely using analytics for a great cause!

PASS Summit Tip: Get the Session Recordings!

Thu, 20 Sep 2018 13:41:34 +0000

Last week I wrote about SQL Saturday Portland and the SQLTrain. In this week's PASS Summit tip I have another piece of advice for attendees: Get the session recordings.

Yes, I know they cost extra. And no, I am not blindly playing PASS marketing cheerleader here. There's actually some really solid reasons to purchase the session recordings:

PASS Summit has many wonderful sessions. Just check out the schedule, there's a ton of great stuff on there. You will encounter time slots where there are multiple sessions you want to attend and you'll have to pick one and miss the other(s). With recordings of every session, this is no longer a problem.
Have you ever had one of those "aha!" moments midway through a session, and now wish you could re-watch it all over again from the beginning? You can do that with a recording.
Fatigue is a very real problem at conferences. After spending multiple hours in sessions, everyone is bound to hit the point where their brain is full. There is zero shame in this – it happens to me too. When you have session recordings, you can watch or re-watch any session at a time when you are fully awake, aware, and caffeinated.
There may be a time where you're better off skipping a session or two. Don't forget, PASS Summit is about more than just sessions, it's about networking and making connections with people. That's why everyone gets together in a convention center instead of this just being an online conference. I've blogged about this before, but there are absolutely times where I go network with people and vendors instead of attending sessions. Having recordings to watch later makes the decision to do this very easy.
Perhaps your manager wishes they could send more people to PASS Summit, but there's not enough room in the budget. Explain to them that if they were to purchase a full set of conference recordings just a little bit extra, the entire team would be able to benefit from your attending. (I once was on a team where we ate lunch together while watching conference videos one day per week. It was great for all of us!)

So while I realize that PASS Summit session recordings cost extra, in my opinion they help bring even more value to the conference. I think they're worth it.

Speaking at SQL Saturday Boston 2018!

Mon, 17 Sep 2018 20:26:20 +0000

I'm very happy to be returning to Boston this weekend to speak at SQL Saturday Boston 2018. I last attended a few years ago and have been wanting to get back there ever since, so I'm happy the cards fell into place this time around!

The organizers in Boston have put together an amazing schedule for the day that I'm really proud to be a part of. Check it out – they really have some top talent arranged on a wide variety of topics.

PASS Summit Tip: SQL Saturday Portland & SQLTrain

Fri, 14 Sep 2018 15:17:00 +0000

It dawned upon me the other day that this will be my seventh year attending PASS Summit, and I'm pretty fortunate to have been able to attend so many times. Over the years, I have also acquired some knowledge about the event and how to prepare for it that may be helpful for others. So this year, I hope to share a few tips which I think may be most helpful.

Presenting at the Chicago Suburban SQL Server User Group

Wed, 12 Sep 2018 12:51:31 +0000

I am very happy to be returning to the [Chicago Suburban SQL Server User Group][2] next week!

…Except I won't exactly be talking about SQL Server. Instead I will be speaking about [Azure Cosmos DB][1], a relatively new cloud offering that, while different from SQL Server, is quickly proving to be extremely important in the field of data management. So what exactly is Azure Cosmos DB, and why does it matter? This session, "Select Stars: A SQL DBA's Introduction to Azure Cosmos DB" will cover the basics of the product, how it works, and what it can do for your organization. You will learn how it differs from SQL Server and Azure SQL Database, what its strengths are, and how to leverage them.

A Tale of a Trigger

Tue, 11 Sep 2018 12:34:15 +0000

This month's T-SQL Tuesday is being hosted by Steve Jones, who has asked for blog posts today on experiences we have had with triggers, good or bad.

I am not a fan of triggers. While they represent a very simplistic construct of "if something happens, do something else", I've yet to encounter a situation where they weren't more trouble than they were worth. In my opinion, their biggest flaw is that they're very easy to forget about, and then tend to pop up and create problems when least expected. I avoid them like the plague, and happily tell my clients to do the same. Unfortunately I still have to deal with them frequently because they are commonly used in vendor applications. This scenario is exactly what brought about this story.

Speaking at the Chicago SQL Server User Group!

Wed, 25 Jul 2018 13:58:55 +0000

I'm very happy to be presenting at next month's meeting of the Chicago SQL Server User Group! This meeting will take place on Thursday August 9 at the Microsoft Technology Center in Chicago. For a little something different, I won't be speaking about SQL Server. Instead, I will be giving an introduction to Azure Cosmos DB from a SQL Server DBA perspective.

I will be presenting Select Stars: A SQL DBA's Introduction to Azure Cosmos DB.

Archiving Data with Azure Blob Storage Archive Tier and PowerShell

Thu, 12 Jul 2018 13:42:23 +0000

As a former DBA, it should be no surprise that I am a big fan of keeping data safe, and not just corporate data – this extends to my personal data as well. Early on I realized that the cloud was a great way to protect all my photos, videos, and other digital keepsakes that I absolutely could not stand to lose. As cloud offerings matured, products specific to archival were introduced that allowed for long-term storage at very low price points. The tradeoff for this lower storage cost is that should you need to retrieve the data, it is not immediately available and you may have to wait a few hours. The ideal use case for these products, however, is that the data never needs to be retrieved at all, it is simply an additional copy being stored for safekeeping.

Speaking at SQL Saturday Oslo 2018!

Thu, 31 May 2018 18:44:33 +0000

I always feel honored when chosen to present at a SQL Saturday event. Being selected is never a guarantee, especially these days when organizers seemingly have more speakers and abstracts to pick from than ever before. But I am just over-the-moon happy to share that I was picked to speak at SQL Saturday in Oslo, Norway coming up on September 1. Norway has been on my list of places to visit for years, and I really can't wait. Thank you so much to the SQL Saturday Oslo organizing team for putting together an amazing schedule and for allowing me to be a part of it – this is going to be a fantastic event!

Starting a SQL Saturday Not-For-Profit

Fri, 18 May 2018 12:46:13 +0000

If you've been a SQL Saturday organizer for a few years, you might remember that prior to March of 2014, PASS handled much of the finances. All money collected from sponsors and meal fees went into a trust account managed by PASS which was earmarked for that specific event. Organizers then requested their funds from PASS.

I completely understand why PASS would want to get out of doing this. PASS handles a lot of things, and to be honest, playing the role of banker for events organized and managed by volunteers doesn't need to be a part of that.

Importing Data With PowerShell and dbatools

Mon, 23 Apr 2018 14:46:09 +0000

I've found myself working with PowerShell more frequently as of late, in no small part due to the amazing dbatools module. This has led to me trying to figure out how else I can utilize it for some of my personal internal processes.

I like to use public datasets for experimentation and presentation demos, especially data that people can easily understand and relate to. For some, keeping them up-to-date was a manual process of downloading files, loading tables, and merging. There are of course many better ways to do this, some of which are more automated than others. I could have simply used PowerShell to call bcp, or even just implemented an insert statement and some loops. Then I found dbatools, which has commands which enable me to do an even better job with far less work – just the way I like it!. Here's how I now keep my datasets current:

Speaking at Chicago Suburban SQL Server User Group!

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 17:32:58 +0000

Next week I am happy to be presenting for the Chicago Suburban SQL Server User Group, which meets in Downers Grove, IL.

Speaking at SQL Saturday Madison 2018!

Mon, 26 Mar 2018 16:45:41 +0000

I'm very pleased to be returning to Wisconsin in April to speak at SQL Saturday Madison 2018! This has always been one of my favorite events. Not only is it close to home, but it's in a wonderful location and full of great friends. Thank you so much to the organizing committee for all of the hard work you do!

This year I will be presenting Locks, Blocks, and Snapshots: Maximizing Database Concurrency. This light-hearted and informative session will take a look at SQL Server's available isolation levels, what they are, how they differ, and why the default setting of "read committed" may not be appropriate for your workload. It should not only be helpful, but lots of fun as well. I hope you will join me!

Collecting Other People’s Christmas Cards

Tue, 13 Mar 2018 01:55:01 +0000

I think one of the reasons I like computers is that they're so much easier to deal with than people. They're predictable, emotions never get in the way, and there's always a logical explanation for everything if you dig deep enough. All that being said, I am grateful for my hobbies that don't involve sitting in front of a computer all day. Thinking through the things I enjoy in my spare time, three central themes that seem to keep popping up are art, architecture, and railroads. Here's two examples of that:

Spice Up Your Linux Demos With PuTTY’s “Presenter Mode”

Wed, 07 Mar 2018 14:46:02 +0000

If you've done any amount of work in Linux from Windows, chances are pretty good you've used PuTTY at some point. PuTTY is a free and open-source terminal emulator that supports a variety of protocols, including SSH. I've been using it since college and have always been very happy with it. It's free, it's tiny, and it just works.

With the advent of SQL Server 2017 on Linux I find myself using it rather frequently once again, but this time around I'm not just using PuTTY for myself. Now I'm trying to take screenshots of it for slide decks, and doing demos in presentations. In a world of flashy graphics and high-resolution screenshots, PuTTY's simplicity can become a problem. Remember, it's a terminal emulator. Its job is to display text. By default it's 80 columns wide* and 24 rows high.

Finding Month Ends in T-SQL

Wed, 28 Feb 2018 13:31:16 +0000

Months are funny. Unlike other parts of a date, they vary in length:

The last second of a minute is always 59.
The last minute of a hour is always 59.
The last hour of a day is always 23.

But the last day of a month? Well that depends on what month it is. And the year matters too because a leap year means February gets an extra day.

I’m a 2018 Friend of Redgate!

Thu, 15 Feb 2018 14:36:04 +0000

I am extremely fortunate to have been named a Friend of Redgate for a fifth year!

If you're not familiar with the Friends of Redgate program, we work with the Redgate development and product teams to provide feedback on existing products, new tools, and feature enhancements. You can also find us doing things like speaking at events, writing articles on Redgate tools, and participating on the Redgate forums.

Redgate is a wonderful organization to be associated with. Not only do they make great tools and publish some very helpful books, but they're also extremely community-oriented. They sponsor many functions such as user group meetings and SQL Saturdays, and also put on their own events, such as SQL in the City Streamed. These events used to be on-premises, but now they're in the cloud and you can attend from anywhere! The next SQL in the City Streamed is taking place on Wednesday, 28 February. If that sounds awesome to you, you can find out more here!

Mirroring? Make Sure Editions Match!

Tue, 13 Feb 2018 14:26:09 +0000

SQL Server Mirroring has had a rough time the past few years. It was deprecated in SQL Server 2016, and now it's more or less being replaced by Basic Availability Groups, (which I love to refer to as "BAGS"). Database Mirroring hasn't gone the way of the Dodo yet though. Perhaps it won't be quite so popular in new deployments anymore, but there's plenty of existing ones out there. For this reason I don't expect Microsoft to remove the feature for at least a few more years.

I’m speaking at SQLBits!

Wed, 07 Feb 2018 13:42:40 +0000

I'm so proud to be speaking at SQLBits – Europe's largest SQL Server conference!

It took me several years of abstract submission before I was accepted to speak at PASS Summit. Once I spoke there, I set my sights on presenting internationally. After some more attempts, I now have the amazing opportunity to present in London and deliver not one but TWO sessions! They are:

VLDBs: Lessons Learned

Whoever coined the term "one size fits all" was not a DBA. Very large databases (VLDBs) have different needs from their smaller counterparts, and the techniques for effectively managing them need to grow along with their contents. In this session, join Microsoft Certified Master Bob Pusateri as he shares lessons learned over years of maintaining databases over 20TB in size. This talk will include techniques for speeding up maintenance operations before they start running unacceptably long, and methods for minimizing user impact for critical administrative processes. You'll also see how generally-accepted best practices aren't always the best idea for VLDB environments, and how, when, and why deviating from them can be appropriate. Just because databases are huge doesn't mean they aren't manageable, attend this session and see for yourself!

SQL Saturday Chicago 2018 Schedule Posted!

Tue, 06 Feb 2018 16:20:02 +0000

There's a little more than a month to go until SQL Saturday Chicago 2018!

This year we received 137 abstracts submitted by 60 speakers, and we are very pleased to announce our schedule. Thank you to all who submitted!

I hope to see you on Saturday, March 17, 2018, at Benedictine University in Lisle for what will be a wonderful day of free training, networking, and career development. (Lunch is available for $15.)

Split Views of Files: SSMS Still is Best

Mon, 05 Feb 2018 13:35:39 +0000

While programming, I often need to view different parts of a file at the same time. Consider a long stored procedure: the list of parameters is at the top and it may be helpful to reference them when working elsewhere in the code. I could scroll repeatedly between the top of the file and wherever I am working, but that becomes annoying rather quickly, in addition to wasting time.

Fortunately, SQL Server Management Studio, which is built on Visual Studio, has a wonderful solution to this. Each file has a splitter located in the top right corner.

Interviewed by Mohammad Darab

Tue, 23 Jan 2018 14:20:50 +0000

I very recently had the pleasure of being interviewed by Mohammad Darab. He asked some very insightful questions, and I'm so grateful he decided to ask me!

You can read the full interview here.

He also has a very impressive list of interviews on his site. See the entire list here!

SQL Saturday Chicago 2018 Pre-Conference Sessions

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 15:46:29 +0000

I am very happy to announce pre-conference sessions for SQL Saturday Chicago 2018. We were fortunate to receive many submissions, and after careful deliberation the following were selected.

Data Security for the Cloud by Ed Leighton-Dick
Hands-On Power BI: Monitoring your SQL Server Environment by Aaron Nelson
Level Up! From Basic Biml to Automated Data Warehouse Frameworks by Cathrine Wilhelmsen
Performance Tuning with Waits and Queues by Eddie Wuerch

Pre-conference sessions will take place on Friday, 16 March 2018. You can find out more about the sessions, pricing, and register using the above links.

Prevent Presentation Disasters by Pausing Windows Updates

Wed, 29 Nov 2017 13:55:08 +0000

It's no secret that Windows 10 likes to forcibly apply updates, and occasionally these forced updates can occur at very inopportune times. I've heard tales of forced updates ruining demonstrations and presentations not only at SQL Saturdays, but also at this year's PASS Summit.

What most people don't seem to realize is that this type of disaster can be prevented rather easily. Here's how to prevent surprise updates in Windows 10:

SQL Saturday Returning to Chicago in 2018!

Mon, 20 Nov 2017 13:48:13 +0000

I'm very happy to announce that registration is now open for SQL Saturday Chicago 2018! This year we have a new and larger location! Our event will take place at Benedictine University in Lisle, IL on Saturday, March 17, 2018.

If you’re not familiar with SQL Saturday, it’s a free day of training for data professionals, covering a wide variety of topics relating to database administration, database development, business intelligence, and professional development. It’s also a wonderful opportunity to network. Registration for the event itself is free, with an optional lunch provided for $15.

T-SQL Tuesday #96: Folks Who Have Made A Difference

Tue, 14 Nov 2017 14:11:59 +0000

It's been quite a while since I've written for a T-SQL Tuesday, but I saw this month's topic and felt compelled to throw my 2 cents in. Our host for the month, Ewald Cress (@sqlOnIce) is asking for us to write about people who have made a meaningful contribution to our lives as data professionals.

There have certainly been a lot of people who have helped me get to where I am with my career today, but for this post I'd like to take things back to the very beginning. He wasn't my first boss, but was the first DBA I ever encountered in the professional world. He also got me my first real DBA position when a spot opened up on his team. Chuck Rummel (@crummel4), this post is for you.

Bacon Blog Day 8: Beer Cured Bacon Can Change Your Culinary Life

Thu, 14 Sep 2017 13:09:22 +0000

by @WidowPage

When I started writing this series of posts, this was the one I couldn't wait to do. But in addition to my fabulous and glamorous DBA job, I also coach my daughter's volleyball team and that is about to kill me! I felt like I couldn't do this post the justice it deserved if I just whipped this post out so I waited until I had the time to do it right.

Bacon Blog Day 7: If Kale Can Be A Thing, What About Red Wine Bacon?

Fri, 08 Sep 2017 02:09:15 +0000

by @WidowPage

I've made red wine bacon before and it's become one of my favorites. It's not something you would eat for breakfast, but it goes so well into many recipes. Here's my list:

It's also great in stews and coq au vin and it's amazing in beef bourguignon.

One other thing: Until you get a chance to try bacon that isn't mass-produced, you don't realize how much flavor real bacon has. Producers like Oscar Meyer inject their bacon with water because they sell it by the pound. Water is a cheap way for them to bring their bacon up to the weight on the package. When you taste bacon that hasn't been watered down, your taste buds will be surprised.

Bacon Blog Day 6: Bourbon Bacon

Thu, 07 Sep 2017 02:34:58 +0000

by @WidowPage

Thank you so much for sticking with me but this is when the bacon gets really good! I got this recipe from here.

Let's start with a gratuitous pork belly photo.

It's a nice piece of belly. It's earned a bourbon cure. Use the following ingredients:

1 cup of bourbon, divided
1/2 cup Kosher salt
2 tsp curing salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 Tbsp black pepper
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder

Now the recipe calls for brushing the bourbon on the pork belly before combining it with the dry ingredients. I don't do that. I pour ALL THE BOURBON into a ziplock bag, add the dry ingredients and put in the belly. Like this:

Bacon Blog Day 5: Pepper Bacon

Tue, 05 Sep 2017 12:07:09 +0000

by @WidowPage

Most bacon recipes are either sweet or savory. Yesterday, we did a cure with maple syrup, so today, we'll go with a savory taste. I got this recipe from here. Assemble the ingredients into a large plastic bag and shake to mix.

1/4 cup salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons black pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground bay
1 teaspoon granulated onion
1 teaspoon granulated garlic
1/2 teaspoon ground thyme
1 teaspoon pink salt

This recipe is for 3 to 4 lbs of pork belly. Mine is right around 8 lbs so I just doubled it. And yes, that is a lot of black pepper.

Bacon Blog Day 4: A Cure for the Fever

Mon, 04 Sep 2017 12:05:52 +0000

by @WidowPage

Thank you so much for sticking with me and following along on this process. I'm really enjoying this project and I would especially like to thank Bob for allowing me to use his blog.

So let's cure this piggy's belly! I've cut it up into smaller pieces so we can try a couple of different cures. I'm using a recipe out of Michael Ruhlman and Brian Polcyn's Charcuterie. I love this book and even if you aren't even going to cure meat, it's great reading. I also recommend their Whiskey-Glazed Smoked Chicken and their Smoked Scallops. I've also made their chorizo and someday I will try their Canadian Bacon recipe.

Bacon Blog Day 3: Salty Talk

Sat, 02 Sep 2017 12:29:31 +0000

by @WidowPage

Before I show you the curing process, we need to talk about salt and how it turns pork belly into bacon. Curing doesn’t happen without salt. If you look back into the history of bacon, humans all over the world were packing pork belly into salt to preserve the meat. The Chinese and Europeans started curing meat as early as 1500 BC. According to the Pork Board of America, Hernando de Soto’s herd of 13 pigs sparked early conflicts with Native Americans who developed a fondness for the taste of pork. His herd eventually grew to 700 hogs, not including those that were eaten or ran away to breed and become ancestors of today’s feral hogs in the Southeast.

Bacon Blog Day 2: Look What Is On My Porch

Fri, 01 Sep 2017 12:19:07 +0000

by @WidowPage

Yesterday as I muddled through a data reconciliation, my oldest daughter texted me “Your meat is here”. My daughters aren’t really that interested in my bacon curing projects but they knew I had been waiting for 100 lbs of pork belly to arrive on my front porch. My youngest even obliged me with a picture. I couldn’t get home for another 3 hours and there was no way the girls would be able to carry that much weight into the house. All I could do it count the minutes until I could get home and dig into the boxes.

Bacon Blog Day 1: I’ve Lost 100 lbs of Pork Belly

Thu, 31 Aug 2017 13:06:49 +0000

By @WidowPage

This isn’t the way I intended to start this blog. I imagined my first post would be pictures unveiling huge boxes of soon-to-be bacon and describing the mouth watering ways I would convert it into bacon, but my pork belly order has yet to arrive. It was supposed to leave Iowa on Monday, August 21 and get here in Illinois the following day. It’s now Wednesday, August 30 and the magical box of pork belly has yet to appear. I’m hoping for the best and a call to the farmer did reassure me.

24 Hours of PASS: Data Security and Quality Wrapup

Thu, 11 May 2017 21:53:07 +0000

Thank you to all who attended my session on "Passive Security for Hostile Environments" back on the 3rd of this month. I consider it an honor to be part of such a wonderful lineup. I just received my evaluations and comments, and am very happy to report that the results were extremely positive. Thank you very much to the people who took the time to rate my presentation and offer feedback, which I will include below.

I was also very surprised to hear that my session had 193 attendees, which puts it in the top five in terms of attendance – wow!

Speaking at 24 Hours of PASS: Data Security and Quality

Mon, 24 Apr 2017 19:42:37 +0000

I'm extremely proud to be speaking at the upcoming 24 Hours of PASS: Data Security and Data Quality webinar on May 3-4 2017. For years now I've been wanting to present for 24 Hours of PASS, and I'm very excited and grateful for the opportunity!

If you're not familiar, 24 Hours of PASS is a series of 24 free webcasts delivered over 24 hours. My presentation, "Passive Security for Hostile Environments" is on May 3rd at 15:00 GMT!

The New SQL Saturday Logo: I’m Not A Fan

Thu, 06 Apr 2017 18:50:29 +0000

At last month's SQL Saturday in Chicago, we had two great distinctions:

We were SQL Saturday #600, a milestone! (But weren't SQL Saturday numbers going away?)
We also were the first SQL Saturday to use the new logo, which is just one part of the major rebranding project undertaken by PASS last year.

At PASS Summit 2016, PASS announced several new logos as part of it's rebranding campaign. There were new logos for PASS as a whole, SQL Saturday, 24 Hours of PASS, PASS Summit, and Business Analytics. In general they're not terrible. I actually really like the new PASS logo. The old one just never made sense to me. Was it a St. Andrew's Cross spider on top of a storm warning flag? (Since Sharknado was a hit, a movie about a hurricane full of spiders is a guaranteed blockbuster, right?) If there was any symbolism behind that old PASS logo, I've never heard it.

Presenting at SQL Saturday Madison 2017!

Tue, 04 Apr 2017 12:51:51 +0000

Spring is upon us! It's slowly getting warmer outside (with a few final insults of snow and freezing temperatures mixed in) and that can only mean one thing: SQL Saturday in Madison, Wisconsin is fast approaching – it's actually this Saturday! I'm very proud to once again be on the schedule to present at one of my favorite SQL Saturdays. Not only is it relatively close to home for me, but the University of Wisconsin-Madison makes for a wonderful venue!

SQL Saturday Chicago 2017 Schedule Posted!

Mon, 30 Jan 2017 13:38:14 +0000

SQL Saturday Chicago 2017 is fast approaching!

After receiving a total of 131 abstracts submitted by 64 speakers, we're pleased to announce our schedule for the day. Thank you to all who submitted! Building a schedule like this is not easy, especially given the number and quality of abstracts received.

We hope to see you on Saturday, March 11, 2017 for this amazing day of free training, career development, and networking. (Lunch onsite is available for $15.)

Presenting for PASS Security VC!

Wed, 09 Nov 2016 14:12:56 +0000

I'm very happy to be presenting for the PASS Security Virtual Chapter on Thursday, November 17, 2016 at 10:00am Pacific!

I'll be presenting my session entitled SQL Server Encryption Basics. This is an introductory-level session on the encryption capabilities of SQL Server, how they work, and when and where you may want or need to deploy them.

High-profile attacks by hackers have made the news more and more the past few years, and your database is a prized target! Fortunately SQL Server offers many possible layers of protection, one of which is encryption. This session will cover SQL Server's encryption capabilities, how they work, and what they have to offer. Topics discussed will include certificates, encryption algorithms, backup encryption, transparent database encryption, and column-level encryption. Attend this session and learn how SQL Server can help you hide your data in plain sight!

Video: SQL Prompt Execution Warnings

Fri, 09 Sep 2016 12:46:45 +0000

A while back, I wrote about how SQL Prompt now includes execution warnings and how useful I think that feature is. It's saved my bacon several times now, including just last week!

I'm now happy to announce that I've recorded a demo video of this feature for Redgate's series of #SuperSQLTips for SQL Prompt. Be sure to check out my video, as well as the rest of the series – there's some super-helpful stuff in there!

Pro Résumé Tip: Don’t Lie

Fri, 26 Aug 2016 12:55:22 +0000

You would think a lesson as simple as "always tell the truth", something that parents teach their children from an early age, wouldn't be such an issue in adulthood. But of course it is for some. I've wanted to write this post for a while, and with the recent media reports about US Olympic Swimmer Ryan Lochte lying about being robbed in Rio de Janeiro, the timing seemed incredibly appropriate.

It's Pretty Simple

When applying or interviewing for employment, don't lie. If you do, and you aren't caught right away, chances are pretty good that sooner or later someone will find out. You either won't get the job to begin with, or if you've already been hired, your tenure may end very quickly. I can't help but think back to George O'Leary, the Notre Dame Football Coach who was caught falsifying information about both his academic and athletic accomplishments. He resigned five days after his hire was announced, once people started taking a harder look at his qualifications.

Speaking at PASS Summit 2016

Mon, 01 Aug 2016 14:33:57 +0000

I'm extremely fortunate to have been selected to speak at PASS Summit, "the world's largest gathering of SQL Server and BI professionals." PASS has once again put together a fantastic lineup, and I'm extremely proud to have made the cut. As many have already done, I'd like to share the abstracts I submitted along with the feedback I received.

I submitted a total of 5 general sessions (the maximum allowed), with one being accepted. I will cover each of them here, along with the notes I received from the reviewers.

SQL Server 2016: What’s Going Away

Wed, 22 Jun 2016 13:54:09 +0000

SQL Server 2016 is upon us, with all the much-anticipated hoopla and sexy new features people have been lusting over in the CTPs for months. It's always great to see the hype around a new release. But in the circle of (an application's) life, the arrival of new things often means others are going away for good. Let's pause for a moment and reflect upon the two features that, as of SQL Server 2016, are no longer with us:

32-bit SQL Server. SQL Server 2016 is 64-bit only. If for whatever reason you're running on a 32-bit architecture, sadly you're now out of luck – 2014 is the end of the road. On the bright side, there's probably some new hardware in your future!

Helpful Tech Tools for New Parents

Fri, 20 May 2016 14:12:10 +0000

Parenting is most definitely something that parents are constantly learning more about. Our son is 11 weeks old today, and while Michelle and I are by no means experts, we've learned a bunch in that time. We've also found some techie tools that have proved incredibly helpful these past few months, and I wanted to take a brief break from database speak to share them. Here they are, in no particular order:

Presenting at SQL Saturday Maine 2016!

Thu, 12 May 2016 17:21:13 +0000

For the past few years I've had the annual goal of attending a SQL Saturday in a location that's totally new to me. For 2016, that new place is Maine. The closest I've ever gotten to there is Boston, so I'm really looking forward to this trip and honored to be among the presenters at SQL Saturday Maine 2016!

I'll be giving my talk entitled "Introduction to SQL Server Encryption", the same one I delivered in Madison earlier this year and went quite well. If your organization is investigating deploying any of SQL Server's encryption features, this is the session for you! Please bring your questions and I'll look forward to seeing you there!

SQL Prompt 7.2 – Now With Execution Warnings!

Tue, 10 May 2016 15:20:49 +0000

I've loved using Redgate's tools ever since I discovered what they were, and now that I'm a Friend of Redgate it's even more fun because I get to give feedback to their developers and hear all about what's coming out in new releases! Recently, Redgate announced SQL Prompt 7.2, with a bunch of new features and improvements. My personal favorite of all these is execution warnings.

Databases (and computers in general) have this pesky habit of always doing exactly what we tell them to do, instead of doing what we really meant to tell them to do. Have you ever been burned by running a query without the WHERE clause? Perhaps you ended up updating or deleting ALL the rows in a table instead of just a few? A common way to reduce the risk of this is to run those commands inside a transaction, and if you see an abnormally high number of rows affected, it's simple to rollback. This works great, until you're in a hurry and forget to run BEGIN TRAN, greatly upping the chances of disaster. Now in SQL Prompt 7.2 you have an added layer of protection – the tool is watching your queries and can warn you! Check it out in action:

T-SQL Tuesday #76 Wrap-Up

Tue, 22 Mar 2016 13:58:31 +0000

This post took me a little longer to put together than it should have, but seeing as how I now have a two week old son at home, time is a little harder to come by these days! My T-SQL Tuesday topic ended up attracting 4 excellent responses, which I'm very happy to recap.

The first post was from Rob Farley (@rob_farley). Rob has some great insights into text search, but not full-text search. (That's perfectly fine, I left the topic open on purpose and never intended for it to be limited to full-text search.) He tells us all about how collation can affect text searches and can greatly influence your results. Collation matters, folks! If you don't believe me, try Rob's example and you'll see that he's not joking. Rob finishes up talking about how indexes and collation can affect columns included in the GROUP BY clause, and includes a great tidbit on how collation can necessitate transformation of text when calculating hash values.

Changing the PASS NomCom Process

Fri, 11 Mar 2016 13:26:49 +0000

Recently, PASS Immediate Past President Tom LaRock posted on the PASS blog about changes to the process by which members of the PASS Nomination Committee (NomCom) are chosen.

Previously, NomCom membership has been an elected position, which has necessitated another election each year prior to the PASS Board of Directors election. I very much agree that this generates "additional noise" in the PASS election cycle, and could also contribute to lower voter turnout during the Board of Directors election. There apparently is also a perception that the NomCom is seen as "a private club". I can't say I've ever felt that way myself, but everyone is entitled to an opinion.

Invitation to T-SQL Tuesday #76: Text Searching/Processing

Mon, 29 Feb 2016 20:39:47 +0000

I'm so happy to once again be hosting T-SQL Tuesday. If you're not familiar, T-SQL Tuesday is a blogging party hosted by a different person each month. It's a creation of Adam Machanic, and it's been going on for over 6 years now! Basically the host selects a topic, defines the rules, and then everyone else blogs about it. Once everyone's done, I'll summarize each of the submitted posts here on my site.

Presenting at SQL Saturday Madison 2016!

Mon, 29 Feb 2016 18:04:48 +0000

Thank you so much to the wonderful organizing committee of SQL Saturday Madison 2016 for selecting me to present!

I'm a huge fan of Madison – it's a great city that's not-too-terribly far from my house. I've had amazing times at their previous SQL Saturdays in 2012, 2013, and 2015, and I can only assume it will be just as awesome this year. They've put together a wonderful schedule with amazing presenters both local and from afar.

Schedule Posted for SQL Saturday Chicago!

Wed, 20 Jan 2016 16:58:09 +0000

We're proud to announce our lineup of speakers and sessions for SQL Saturday Chicago, taking place on Saturday, March 5, 2016!

Building a schedule for an event like this is never easy, especially given the number and variety of submissions. Thank you to all who submitted! We received a total of 148 abstracts from 66 different speakers representing 4 different countries and 23 U.S. states. While it would be amazing to include them all, there are neither enough hours in the day nor enough rooms at our venue to do so. The schedule contains 51 sessions from 51 different speakers representing 4 countries and 19 states.

Dropping Multiple Databases At Once

Thu, 03 Dec 2015 20:08:20 +0000

I'm already at peace with the fact that I'll never know all of SQL Server's secrets, but that doesn't stop me from being surprised every time I figure out something new. In this case, it's another "secret" hiding in plain sight (Books Online).

It turns out that the DROP DATABASE statement doesn't just have to drop one database. BOL shows that multiple databases can be specified when separated with commas. Let's see it in action.

SQL Saturday Chicago 2016 Registration Open!

Tue, 24 Nov 2015 18:33:10 +0000

Registration is now open for Chicago's 6th SQL Saturday! It will be taking place at DeVry University's Addison Campus on March 5 2016. Please join us!

If you're not familiar with SQL Saturday, it's a free day of training for data professionals, covering a wide variety of topics relating to database administration, database development, business intelligence, and professional development. It's also a wonderful opportunity to network and meeting others in the SQL community. Registration for the event itself is free, with an optional lunch provided for $15. Space is limited – register today!

SQL Server Backup Terminology Part 1: Media Sets & Backup Sets

Thu, 19 Nov 2015 14:44:59 +0000

When backing up a database or transaction log, SQL Server needs to know two basic things:

What information the backup should contain
Where it's going to be written

Many options exist to control the contents and behavior of a backup: whether it's full, differential, or a log, if it should be compressed, copy_only, encrypted, the list goes on and on. Most people will learn these options, understand their effects, and consider themselves to have mastered SQL Server backups. While they're not totally wrong, there's still a lot more to the story: where the backups are going. While it's incredibly simple to use the TO DISK option and write the backup out to one or more files, there are a lot of possible controls over how and where a backup is written out to tape or disk. This post, along with a few others, will discuss those features.

PASS Summit 2015 Wrap-Up

Wed, 04 Nov 2015 16:04:13 +0000

I had a beyond amazing week at SQL Saturday Portland and PASS Summit, but now it's back to reality. Time to catch up on sleep, return to the daily grind of work, and enjoy the comforts of home. Gotta sort through all those photos, start counting down the 51 weeks until the next Summit (PASS has a countdown clock up on their site!) and start thinking about which sessions to submit when the call for speakers opens in a few short months.

Why I Play Hooky at PASS Summit

Thu, 22 Oct 2015 12:53:00 +0000

It's nearly upon us! Next week, data professionals from around the world will gather in Seattle for the spectacle that is PASS Summit. A conference (and family reunion) like no other, we'll share knowledge, war stories, fellowship, and also germs (because I'm pretty sure I've come home with some strain of the nerd flu each year.)

With over 200 technical sessions, there's something for pretty much everybody. Building a personal schedule always proves to be an exercise not in finding a session you want to attend, but rather choosing which session you absolutely cannot miss because there's 3 others you also want to see in that same time slot.

Make Me Dress Stupid(er) at PASS Summit!

Wed, 23 Sep 2015 02:00:51 +0000

There's a little more than a month to go until two momentous occasions are upon us: PASS Summit, and the deadline for Argenis Without Borders 2.0!

Maybe reaching our goal will help impress him!

If you're not familiar with last year's incarnation, Argenis Without Borders started as an office dare by Kirsten Benzel and ended up being an awesome campaign for Doctors Without Borders where Argenis Fernandez promised to wear a unicorn hoodie (see photographic evidence below) and others agreed to wear costumes and perform various humorous acts as different fundraising milestones were met. It was a tremendous success!

This year even more people, including myself, have joined in on the fun. 16 of us have agreed to wear costumes or awesome hats if we hit the $5000 mark.

Speaking at PASS Summit 2015!

Tue, 21 Jul 2015 12:49:34 +0000

I'm extremely honored to once again be part of the speaker lineup for PASS Summit. This will be my 4th year in attendance and my 3rd year speaking, and the joy of being there never gets old. It's an incredible gathering of people from all over the world who are passionate about data, and returning each year feels like a family reunion.

This time around I will be presenting about security, a topic near and dear to the hearts of many, especially with the number of newsworthy security breaches that have occurred the past few years. I've always wanted to present a beginner-level topic, and this year I got my wish. I'll be talking about the basics of security in SQL Server: how to make sure everyone requiring access to data gets exactly what they need and nothing more, and that people with no business seeing certain data have no ability to. Here's the abstract:

I’m Running for the PASS NomCom!

Thu, 16 Jul 2015 14:53:44 +0000

I'm happy to announce I am running for the PASS Nomination Committee! Please check out my candidate profile. I also have an election page here on my blog with more information which I will be updating frequently.

What is the NomCom?

Per the Nomination Committee page:

The Nomination Committee (NomCom) administers the election process for the annual PASS Board of Directors election.

The primary role of the NomCom is to measure each candidate against a set of criteria set by the Board of Directors. The NomCom evaluates the answers to a questionnaire returned by each Board applicant. In addition, the NomCom as a group interviews each Board applicant who has passed the initial application process. The NomCom then presents a list of recommended candidates to the Board of Directors, which then approves the final slate.

T-SQL Tuesday #68: Defaults

Tue, 14 Jul 2015 20:28:40 +0000

I'm so happy to be able to contribute to this month's T-SQL Tuesday! Andy Yun picked an excellent topic: default settings. Defaults exist for a reason: in the absence of a user's preference, they represent the option that the application's author(s) believe will generally work the best for the greatest number of people.

All that being said, if you're reading this blog, you probably aren't the average computer user, and you probably aren't a fan of all the default settings your applications choose. I've got plenty of defaults for different applications that I despise and do my best to change as quickly as possible. Here's a few that really grind my gears:

Speaking at SQL Saturday Indianapolis 2015!

Wed, 24 Jun 2015 14:38:59 +0000

I've been to nearly all the SQL Saturday locations in the Midwest at one point or another, but Indy has been one of the very few that's evaded me. (Minnesota, you're next!) I'm very happy to be presenting in The Circle City this year at SQL Saturday Indianapolis on August 8 2015! I'm really looking forward to being part of the tremendous group of presenters put together by the organizing committee.

Tracking Your Community Involvement

Thu, 04 Jun 2015 12:55:12 +0000

My love of collecting data isn't limited to work, I'm just as happy doing it at home. From the typical digital keepsakes such as documents and photos to geekier things like detailed utility records and 10 years of fuel consumption info for my car, I've got quite the little hoard.

The usefulness of some of the data I save can be debated, but one dataset that's helped me tremendously over the past few years is a spreadsheet of all my SQL community activity. Any time I speak or volunteer in any capacity, I record the following:

Thoughts on PASS Summit Speaker Selection

Tue, 26 May 2015 17:27:15 +0000

It's getting to be about that time of year again. Bees are buzzing, Summer's nearly here (at least in the northern hemisphere), and PASS Summit 2015 session selections will probably be announced soon. I don't know this for sure; I'm not part of the speaker selection process this year, but based on the dates the notification emails went out the past few years:

2014: June 24
2013: May 17
2012: June 6
2011: June 15

I'm guessing it will be in the next few weeks.

Who’s In Your Fixed Server Roles?

Fri, 08 May 2015 12:59:46 +0000

It's 10PM*. Do you know who your sysadmin role members are?

SQL Server's fixed server roles control incredibly broad permissions across your entire instance. For this reason, membership in these roles should be granted carefully and reviewed often. Fortunately, reviewing role membership is extremely easy, so you can always answer the above question better than Homer Simpson.

The Easy Way: SSMS GUI

In the SSMS Object Explorer, open the "Security" folder for an instance, and then open "Server Roles".

Signed Integer Ranges: Why and How

Thu, 26 Feb 2015 14:09:06 +0000

Whether you are working in T-SQL, Oracle, MySQL, C#, or Java, the range of possible values for a signed (positive or negative) 32-bit integer is from or (-2,147,483,648) to or (2,147,483,647). The fact that it's so consistent across so many different platforms (and also against plenty of others I didn't list) means there has to be more to it than just the preference of some developers somewhere, right? Exactly right.

Down to the bits

Any data your computer deals with, be it numbers, text, music or videos, all end up in binary at one point or another. Binary means values are in "base 2", where each digit represents a power of 2, and the possible values for that digit are 0 or 1. A digit capable of storing only the values 0 and 1 is typically referred to as a bit, which is short for "binary digit". This is in stark contrast to the decimal or "base 10" number system commonly used, where each digit represents a power of 10 and the possible values for that digit are 0 to 9. To show how values are calculated in different number systems, here is the value 37 in both binary and decimal:

Speaking at SQL Saturday Madison 2015!

Tue, 24 Feb 2015 13:16:56 +0000

I'm definitely a fan of Wisconsin. I never really developed a taste for beer, but I do love Culver's and cheese curds, so that counts, right? I'm also very happy to be presenting at SQL Saturday #387 in Madison on April 11 2015!

I had a blast at SQL Saturday Madison in 2012 and 2013. Last year I missed it, but with good reason – I was speaking at SQL Saturday Boston instead. I'm very happy to be heading back, though, and am looking forward to seeing friends and sitting in on some sessions by the other speakers in their amazing lineup.

Why You Should Submit for PASS Summit 2015

Wed, 18 Feb 2015 15:13:27 +0000

As of today the PASS Summit 2015 Call for Speakers is officially open! You can submit your sessions from right now until 9:00 PM Pacific Time on March 15, 2015. If you've had even the slightest desire to speak at PASS Summit, you should be submitting an abstract this year. Here's why:

Because right now, you can

First and foremost, you only get the opportunity to submit sessions once per year, for about a month. Yes, it's eight months ahead of time, but that's a good thing. You'll want to take advantage of all that time and perfect your slide decks, demos, and presentation techniques. If you don't submit, you'll spend that time wishing that you had, and telling yourself "I'll do it next year…" and then we'll have this same conversation a year from now. Wayne Gretzky said "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." This is a shot. Take it.

PASS Summit Submission Tips

Fri, 13 Feb 2015 13:41:34 +0000

Last week it was announced that the PASS Summit 2015 call for speakers will be open from February 18 to March 15. For those who are hoping to present there in October, it's time to start getting those submissions ready!

If the past few years are any indicator, this year will see more submissions than ever before, probably over 1,000. While this will translate to tremendous variety in terms of speakers and topics, it also means some very tough decisions will have to be made by the members of the PASS Summit Program Committee, which is charged with selecting which sessions make it into the schedule. (And if you'd like to be part of the program committee this year, applications are being accepted until February 18. Apply today!)

Proud To Be A 2015 Friend of Red Gate!

Wed, 04 Feb 2015 16:25:45 +0000

I am very fortunate to have been accepted as a Friend of Red Gate for a second year!

If you're not familiar with "FoRG", Friends of Red Gate work with the Red Gate development and product teams to provide feedback on existing products, new tools, and feature enhancements. You can also find us speaking at events and writing articles on Red Gate tools and how they have saved our bacon and allowed us to accomplish our tasks more quickly.

Copying and Pasting File Paths – Video Edition

Tue, 09 Dec 2014 13:16:03 +0000

Earlier this year I did a post on a new method I stumbled up on for copying and pasting file paths. I thought it was a huge timesaver, and I use it multiple times daily. Judging from the reactions I got, I'd say plenty of others have found it useful as well.

A few weeks ago, the folks at Webucator reached out to me, asking if they could make a quick video demonstrating what I show in that post as part of their free series called SQL Server Solutions from the Web. I was very happy to let them do so; here's their finished product:

What We’re Thankful For: Wrap-Up

Fri, 05 Dec 2014 15:07:38 +0000

Two weeks ago I decided to kick off the holiday season by asking people to write about what they were thankful for. I was very fortunate to get three great responses, which I am happy to share in no particular order (which just so happens to be the order I received them in).

What I’m Thankful For – 2014 Edition

Wed, 26 Nov 2014 14:36:10 +0000

I'm also grateful for my grandma's homemade gravy

Back in the early days of this blog, I wrote about what I was thankful for in response to Jason Strate's post asking about it. Now, 4 years later, I am hosting a redux, and your contributions are very welcome!

In looking back on the past year, I feel like I have an incredible amount of blessings in my life. While there are far too many to count, here are some that really stand out:

What Are You Thankful For?

Mon, 17 Nov 2014 13:51:40 +0000

It's almost Thanksgiving time here in the United States – that wonderful holiday where families and friends gather to share a meal and give thanks for all our many immaterial blessings. (And then for maximum irony, we head out the following day to battle each other in stores for heavily-discounted electronics while avoiding being trampled to death.)

One common tradition is to go around the table on Thanksgiving and have each person say what they're thankful for. To gather all our #sqlfamily and friends around a dinner table would be an immense undertaking (and the buffet line would be super long). Instead, let's do it blog-style. Jason Strate did this a few years ago with great results, and the community has changed a lot since then. I think it's time for a reboot, and I'm happy to host.

Red Gate SQL in the City Seattle 2014 Wrap-Up

Thu, 13 Nov 2014 15:12:17 +0000

My marathon week of #SQLFamily is through, and that means it's time to start writing about it! First up is Red Gate's SQL in the City in Seattle. Having been an attendee when they came to Chicago back in 2012, I was especially honored to be able to return as a presenter!

SQL in the City was held at Marion Oliver McCaw Hall, a cavernous performing arts hall and the home of the Seattle Opera and Pacific Northwest Ballet. It's located at Seattle Center, which conveniently happens to be the terminus of the Seattle Monorail. Even more conveniently, my hotel was only a block from the other terminus of the Seattle Monorail. Me, ride a train? Yes, please!

Planes, Trains, and #SQLFamily

Mon, 27 Oct 2014 13:35:13 +0000

It's my favorite time of year again – Autumn. It gets colder, the days get shorter, leaves change colors, and there's that little annual event called PASS Summit. This year I have even more reasons to love it because I was able to work 2 more events into my trip: SQL Saturday Oregon and [Red Gate's SQL in the City][3] in Seattle. It's going to be an amazing week (which also means I'm going to be running around like crazy)! Here's a partial list of things I'll be up to and places I'll be!

Three-Byte Integers in SQL Server: Fact or Fiction?

Thu, 26 Jun 2014 12:15:20 +0000

I've been told on two occasions that the absence of the MEDIUMINT datatype is a serious shortcoming of SQL Server. If you're not familiar with MEDIUMINT, it's an integer type available in MySQL that consumes 3 Bytes and is capable of storing values ranging from -8,388,608 to 8,388,607 (signed) or from 0 to 15,777,215 (unsigned).

While SQL Server has many datatypes, it has nothing that exactly matches MEDIUMINT. In SQL Server, if you wanted to store a value between 32,768 and 2,147,483,647 you would need to use the INT datatype, each of which takes up 4 Bytes. The next smallest integer datatype is SMALLINT, which has a maximum value of 32,767 and only needs 2 Bytes. I'm not sure the lack of a MEDIUMINT datatype is really a shortcoming, but if you find yourself in a situation where it's necessary to store a significant number of values in the 3 Byte range, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: SQL Server does have 3 Byte integers, they're just lurking behind the scenes.

T-SQL Tuesday #54 – Interviews and Hiring

Tue, 13 May 2014 12:30:21 +0000

This month's T-SQL Tuesday (the 54th!) is brought to us by Boris Hristov (@BorisHristov), and he's asking us to write about interviews and hiring. I think many of us have at least one tale of an interview or interaction with a recruiter that's gone good, bad, or ugly. I know I've got plenty of them, two of which I've shared before.

This time, I have a story of an interview that went well, but with an epilogue that completely threw me for a loop.

Why I Hate Row Compression

Tue, 11 Mar 2014 12:16:58 +0000

This post is part of T-SQL Tuesday #52, which is being hosted this month by Michael J. Swart (@MJSwart). Michael is asking us to argue against a popular opinion, and I'm more than happy to do so, as this is a belief that I've kept to myself for quite a while.

SQL Server's row compression feature can be an amazing tool. Not only is it lightweight on CPU usage, especially when compared to page compression, but it can save a significant amount of disk space as well. Your data also remains compressed while in the buffer pool, meaning more rows can be stored in memory, reducing the need to make slower requests to disk. On top of all that, some queries (especially those involving index scans) can see dramatic performance improvements.

Copying and Pasting File Paths

Fri, 21 Feb 2014 13:58:11 +0000

I know most of my important file locations by heart. Whenever I need to do things that require typing out a file's full path, such as copying a backup or taking a peek at logs, I can type those paths from memory without issue.

On the other hand, when I'm working with systems I'm less familiar with or have never seen before, my memory can't help me. At this point I've always opted for copying and pasting the paths of the file into SSMS or wherever else I might need it. This works just fine, but I've always been annoyed that the path and file name need to be selected and copied into the editor separately.

Auditing Database Snapshots: Free Lunch!

Fri, 31 Jan 2014 13:39:06 +0000

The ability to keep track of what's being executed on a SQL Server instance, or to create a read-only copy of a database at a specific point in time can be very valuable if required by the solution you are developing. But a lesser-known fact about SQL Auditing and Database Snapshots is that not only do they work well on their own, but they also play nicely together.

The Setup

Let's say you work for that awesome company AdventureWorks, which embraces open data so much that you can download their corporate database here. That database contains some super-sensitive payroll data, and they'd like to keep track of everyone who has accessed it. To do this, you set up SQL Auditing to capture all SELECT operations on the HumanResources.EmployeePayHistory table and log them to a file.

Recruiter Email Fail

Thu, 23 Jan 2014 13:18:38 +0000

Pro Tip: If you're a recruiter and sending out mass emails about positions you're trying to fill, do yourself a favor and make sure you're not accidentally including other things, like a letter of reprimand from your boss. The names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent, but here's the email I received yesterday:

My name is Frank Schlawmeyer and I am a Sr. Executive Recruiter for B.O. Associates, a premier search firm representing major clients in the Chicago area. I discovered your information while sourcing for an opportunity we have as a SQL Server DBA for a major e-commerce company in the Chicagoland area. This is a full-time permanent DBA role and requires experience as both an operational / production DBA and must have experience with T-SQL.
Your background is impressive and I would appreciate an opportunity to speak with you regarding your work history in relation to this role. If you are interested, please send me an updated copy of your resume. I can be reached via telephone at <redacted> or via email at <redacted>. If you are not interested, please feel free to forward this information on to anyone that you feel may be a fit.

Apply for the PASS Summit 2014 Program Committee!

Wed, 22 Jan 2014 14:08:18 +0000

With over 40 weeks to go, PASS Summit 2014 may seem like the distant future, however the planning phase is already well underway. An event like the Summit is only possible because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers, and opportunities to help this year are already starting to pop up.

One such opportunity is the Program Committee. It's a wonderful way to help out, even if you can't attend PASS Summit. That's right, you can be part of the Program Committee without ever leaving the comfort of your home office, balcony, back porch, or wherever else you can get an internet connection.

SQL Saturday Coming Back to Chicago in 2014!

Thu, 09 Jan 2014 13:45:17 +0000

This year Chicago will be hosting it's 5th SQL Saturday! SQL Saturday #291: Chicago 2014 is now open for registration! As always, the event itself is free. An optional lunch will be provided for $10.

We are once again very grateful to DeVry University for hosting us. This year it will take place on Saturday April 26, 2014 at DeVry's Addison campus. Please join us for a great day of free SQL Server training, networking, and #SQLFamily in Chicagoland!

Break Stuff Like an Expert

Tue, 10 Dec 2013 13:45:32 +0000

This post is part of the DBA JumpStart series being written by myself and 19 other professionals from the SQL Server community and coordinated by John Sansom (@SQLBrit). It has been compiled into a free eBook, which can be found here. Be sure to download a copy!

If you could give an aspiring DBA just one piece of advice what would it be?

My favorite thought on this topic is don't be afraid to make mistakes. Mistakes are one of the ways that we learn. Make a lot of them, and you'll have many opportunities to learn. Really.

PASS Summit 2014 Early Bird Rate Ends Friday!

Wed, 04 Dec 2013 16:02:17 +0000
Just a quick note that the PASS Summit 2014 Early Bird rate of $1095 ends Friday 6 December. You don't have to look very hard to find lots of [blog posts][2] about how PASS Summit is an [amazing experience][3] at any price, but this is a great opportunity to save $1200 off the full registration rate. Starting Saturday 7 December the price increases to $1395.
I've always registered during the early bird period as a kind of safety net. If you are planning on attending no matter what, it's totally worth it. Here's how I see the possible outcomes by registering now, even if your employer can't commit to sending you yet:

Speaking at FoxPASS in December

Wed, 27 Nov 2013 03:36:40 +0000

I'm very happy to be making the trek up to Appleton, Wisconsin to speak at FoxPASS next week!

I'll be delivering my presentation entitled "Whatcha Doin'? Passive Security for Hostile Environments", which I presented to a packed room at this year's PASS Summit. Here's the abstract:

Ideal database security settings usually exist in books, but rarely in reality. Is your CIO a member of the sysadmin role because they demanded it? Or maybe some users have rights for purely political reasons? Just because you can't enforce security through typical means doesn't mean you're powerless. Attend this session to learn about the features SQL Server provides that will allow you to keep track of what your users are up to at all times and sleep a little easier. Through various scenarios and demos, see how technologies such as event notifications, auditing, and extended events can help ensure nothing happens on your system without you knowing about it. Even in optimally secured environments these techniques can still come in handy. The best security is often that which cannot be seen.

Interviews: Doing Your Homework

Thu, 21 Nov 2013 13:28:39 +0000

There was an interesting debate on Twitter the other day over whether or not it's important for an interviewee to know what a company does, or if they should just know whatever technology the job description calls for and nothing else. Jen McCown blogged about it in detail and included a lot of comments.

There are definitely valid points on both sides, but in general I think it's always a good idea to know what you're potentially getting yourself into before you head to an interview. This way, should you find there's something about the position you object to beforehand, you can save both yourself and the interviewer a lot of time by canceling.

Wow – I’m an Author!

Mon, 04 Nov 2013 13:39:28 +0000

I'm very proud to have contributed a chapter to Tribal SQL, which is now available for purchase at Amazon and finer bookstores everywhere. This is the first book I've had any part in writing, something I never thought I would do. I always hated English and literature classes in school – if it wasn't math, hard science, or architectural history, I wanted no part of it. I credit the SQL community and blogging for slowly getting me excited about the written word.

PASS Summit 2013 Wrap-Up

Wed, 23 Oct 2013 15:20:16 +0000

I was extremely fortunate to be able to present at the PASS Summit this year. It was an amazing and energizing time, despite getting about 15 hours of sleep the entire week. Much like last year, here are some of my thoughts and highlights in no particular order:

Pusateri Christmas Summit (circa 2000)

I love community. Really, I do. I've always loved getting people together to have a great time, whatever we happened to be doing. Back in high school my brother and I would have a huge Christmas party every year and invite all our friends. We'd also be sure to cram everyone into a photo – quite the challenge in my parents' small basement. I don't think PASS Summit is all that different. It's a giant group getting together to share our knowledge with others and have a great time while we're at it. Sure it's a little bigger and a single photo of everyone isn't possible, but the motivation is the same. To me what makes PASS events like the Summit special is the way we all revel in community. It's the little things like the Community Zone, an area loaded with beanbag chairs and power outlets so people can hang out, charge their gadgets, get help with a technical problem, or just get to know each other. The sessions are important and valuable, but even moreso is the opportunity to catch up with old friends and make new ones. If I need to skip a session or two to do that, I don't feel the least bit guilty.

No More (New) MCMs

Thu, 05 Sep 2013 12:38:43 +0000

There have already been several posts on this topic, but I feel compelled to add my thoughts to the mix.
For years I told myself only half-jokingly that by the time I became a Microsoft Certified Master, MCMs would either be a dime-a-dozen, or nobody would care. This past weekend Microsoft fulfilled this prophecy and announced they are retiring their most advanced certification programs: Microsoft Certified Master (MCM), Microsoft Certified Solutions Master (MCSM) which was supposedly replacing it, and [Microsoft Certified Architect (MCA)][1]. People already holding these certifications will be allowed to retain their credentials, but the exams will no longer be offered after October 1, 2013. At this time, there is no replacement for these certifications.
While extremely disappointed, I am now at peace with the fact that the decision has been made and nothing is going to change it. After taking a few days to think about it all, here are a few of my thoughts, in no particular order.

A Dynamic Duo: Data Compression and Backup Compression

Tue, 06 Aug 2013 12:35:26 +0000

When I'm presenting on SQL Server data compression, I frequently get asked if data compression and backup compression can be used together. I keep meaning to put together a blog post with a demo so I have something to direct people towards for further reading. So here we are – let's give it the old college try and find out!

Compression Primer

Methods for compressing data fall into 2 tags: lossy and lossless. Lossy compression reduces the size of data by strategically removing parts of it that are unlikely to be missed. This data is lost forever, hence the term lossy. Prime examples of lossy compression can be found in digital images, videos, and music. It's very easy to remove a little color depth from an image or reduce the bitrate of a sound or video file in a way that shrinks its size without significantly changing its appearance to an observer. Lossy compression is great in these cases because our eyes and ears are far from perfect, but for things like a document or a database it's not a good choice. Nobody would be happy if data randomly started disappearing to save space (well, maybe the DBA would be, but only if the data that's disappearing are those copies of tables with "old" in the name that nobody has looked at in years…) For types of data where nothing can be lost, there's loss_less compression. Lossless compression can't remove anything, so it generally does things like build dictionaries of repeating patterns and create pointers to the dictionary when appropriate. Centralizing duplicate data in a dictionary means multiple copies no longer need to be stored, so the compressed version will be smaller. Both SQL Server data compression and backup compression use lossless compression methods.

Farewell To TechNet (Again)

Tue, 09 Jul 2013 12:45:10 +0000

Last week Microsoft announced that they will be retiring their TechNet Subscriptions service. This is very disappointing and will profoundly affect myself and many others.

What Is TechNet?

If you're not familiar with TechNet, it's a program Microsoft offers that contains "Resources and Tools for IT Professionals". Most notably it has a subscription service that provides copies of software for development and evaluation purposes. Need to create a test environment with older versions of software? TechNet has you covered. Windows 3.1, FrontPage, Access 2003, it's all there. (Though sadly I don't see Microsoft Bob available for download.)

Everything I Can Tell About My MCM Exam Experience

Tue, 02 Jul 2013 12:49:04 +0000

I was recently extremely honored to find out that I earned the Microsoft Certified Master (MCM) certification for SQL Server 2008. For me, this is a major milestone in a long, difficult, and costly journey. I have received several questions about it already, and while I can't answer everything, I am happy share as much of my experience as possible.

Why do I want to be a Microsoft Certified Master?
If you're considering pursuing the MCM, you really need to sit down and ask yourself why you want to do it beforehand. If you believe that becoming an MCM will lead to being showered with job offers or a massive pay increase at work, I would urge you to reconsider. I'm not saying these things can't or won't happen, after all the MCM is a valuable certification that very few people hold. My advice is merely to not _expect_ it to happen. I've always been one to set my goals high and my expectations low, as I would much rather be pleasantly surprised if good things happen instead of being crushed if they don't.
Earning the MCM certification was a personal goal of mine. For a long time I've wanted to become the best DBA I can possibly be, and in my mind becoming an MCM is an excellent way to prove to myself that I'm on the right path.

A Day on the ‘L’

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:28:26 +0000

Yours truly, age 4, at the Illinois Railway Museum

I've loved trains ever since I was a little kid. I have no clue why – it goes back as long as I can remember.

From an early age, my parents fed this fascination by taking my brother and I to the Illinois Railway Museum. It's an awesome place – the largest railway museum in the United States. They have lots of railroad equipment from a variety of eras, and many pieces operate on their demonstration railroad. It's located in Union, Illinois, about 75 minutes Northwest of Chicago. If you're ever looking for something to do in the area, I highly recommend it.

Speaking at MADPASS This Week

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:17:38 +0000

Tomorrow I am making the trek up to Madison to speak at MADPASS! I had a great time there last year and am looking forward to heading back.

I'll be giving my talk on SQL Server's data compression feature entitled "The Skinny on Data Compression." I'll be explaining how data compression works and sharing some of the things I've learned about when and where to deploy data compression that I've accumulated over the past 2 years of using it.

T-SQL Tuesday #41 Recap

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:43:18 +0000

A huge thank you to all who took the time to write posts for T-SQL Tuesday #41. I was overwhelmed at the number of replies! I had a ton of them to read, as well as back-to-back SQL Saturdays in Madison and Chicago that have kept me busy the past few weeks, hence the delay in posting this. Without any further ado, here are all the great replies in the order they appeared in the comments section.

T-SQL Tuesday #41 – How I Came to Love Presenting

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 12:50:36 +0000

This month's T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by…ME! I asked everyone to share stories of how they came to love presenting, and I have not one but two tales of my own. They both took place at about the same time: my freshman year at the University of Illinois. I can't remember which one came first, so you get to read both!

Physics Van

Shortly after classes began, my Physics 111 lecture was visited by Professor Mats Selen, who got everyone's attention by putting a small amount of liquid nitrogen into a soda bottle. He capped it, threw it into a large plastic garbage can, and fastened the lid. Seconds later the lid touched the 20+ foot ceiling from the force of the explosion. He then explained if we were interested in doing things like this more often, come speak to him about joining the crew of the Physics Van. I was at his office within a day or two.

Invitation to T-SQL Tuesday #41 – Presenting and Loving it!

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 12:50:12 +0000

It's been almost two years since I last hosted T-SQL Tuesday, and I'm very happy to be doing so again! If you're not already familiar, T-SQL Tuesday was the brainchild of Adam Machanic (@AdamMachanic), who prophesized that we all could benefit from "a recurring, revolving blog party" with a new topic given each month. This month's T-SQL Tuesday will take place on Tuesday, April 9, 2013.

What's the Topic?

This month the prompt is how did you come to love presenting? What was the first time you gave a presentation in front of a group and really enjoyed it? Was it something that was required of you in school? Something you did in the workplace? Were you inspired by other SQL community members and thought "I think I can do that too"? Whatever your story is, I'd love to hear it. **Not a presenter? Not a problem! **Feel free to chime in with whatever you like that's related to either presenting or SQL Server in general.

SQL Saturday Chicago Update

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:26:31 +0000

Portillo's beef sandwiches are best when the entire sandwich is dipped in gravy so the bread becomes gelatinous. (Used with permission)

SQL Saturday #211: Chicago 2013 is approaching quickly! I've gotten a few emails inquiring about what food will be served, and I'm very happy to announce that lunch for this year's SQL Saturday Chicago will once again be catered by Portillo's! The menu will consist of their famous Italian Beef sandwiches, salad, and Mostaccioli. We will have grilled veggie sandwiches available for those of you who requested a vegetarian option. Please PLEASE be sure to check the vegetarian meal box on your registration form if you need one. We will have very few extra veggie sandwiches (if any), so we need an accurate count to be able to plan ahead.

How NOT to Fill a Position

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 12:36:41 +0000

Last week while at work I received a phone call from a recruiter. It was pretty standard until they decided to turn into a jerk. I sent the following letter to the recruiter's agency. I doubt I'll get a reply, but if I do I will be sure to share it here. Identifying info has been removed to protect the not-so-innocent.

Dear <redacted>,

I received a phone call at work last week from <redacted>, one of your recruiters. Getting phone calls from recruiters during the work day is a fairly common occurrence, but I'm sure you will agree that the rest of this call was very uncommon.

Moving A Database to New Storage With No Downtime

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 12:39:52 +0000

It's once again the second Tuesday of the month, meaning it's T-SQL Tuesday!

This month's topic comes to us from Jen McCown (blog | @JenniferMcCown). Jen is asking us to share our knowledge about filegroups, and it just so happens that I have a story about migrating to new storage that involved a large number of file and filegroup operations.

The Problem

At work we have been very fortunate to get a new SAN, and I was charged with moving data from the old SAN to the new one. This data falls under 2 main groups: large numbers of small files which can be moved at any time without consequence, and data files from the production SQL Server database. I covered how I moved the non-database files in a previous post on the Microsoft FCIV. This time I'll cover the larger task of moving the databases. To make things much more ~~difficult~~ interesting, I did not have the luxury of being able to take any downtime to accomplish this move. Making use of pre-scheduled maintenance windows was fine, but those are typically 2 hours every 2-3 months, not nearly enough time to move the 22TB of data that was in need of migration.

Speaking at SQL Saturday #206: Wisconsin 2013!

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 15:48:41 +0000

I am very happy and honored to have been chosen as a presenter at SQL Saturday #206 coming up on April 6, 2013 in Madison, Wisconsin! As I previously mentioned I had a wonderful time there last year and am definitely looking forward to heading back.

This time around I'll be giving a new presentation on tuning backups and restores. Despite what your SAN administrator might tell you about snapshots, you really do need to run backups on your databases, so it's to your advantage to make sure your backup and restore processes complete as quickly as possible. I'll be covering tips and tricks that can help dramatically speed them up so you can save the day that much sooner!

Verifying File Copy/Move Operations With Microsoft File Checksum Integrity Verifier

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 13:56:22 +0000

Being a DBA and data professional doesn't mean I always work with SQL Server – sometimes I'm not working with databases at all. We've recently acquired some new storage at work (aka Daddy Warbucks bought us a new SAN) and I've been charged with moving things to it. Some aspects of this are easier than others and there will be a few more posts coming about that in the future.

Bigger Databases Aren’t Always Better

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 13:36:06 +0000

I'm fortunate to be able to work with some rather large SQL Server instances on a daily basis, including databases over 25TB in size. Due to their bulk, "VLDBs" (Very Large Databases) present some challenges for DBAs: following best practices for small transactional systems might not be feasible on a VLDB. Regular maintenance processes such as backups and integrity checks take longer when there's more data to scan. You also really need to think twice before doing something like adding an index to a 2TB table! I've learned a ton about working with VLDBs in the time I've been at my current job, and I hope to share a lot of that knowledge here in the coming months.

Cat Bites Suck.

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 13:09:20 +0000

Warning

Hi there! If you're stumbling across this page because you have recently been bitten by a cat (and I get many comments and emails telling me this is the case) PLEASE SEEK MEDICAL ASSISTANCE IMMEDIATELY! Really.

As you will read below, time is of the essence. So please PLEASE go see a physician, or to urgent care, or to an emergency department or something. Right now.

During one of his more sophisticated moments (Click to Enlarge)

Meet Oliver, our big orange kitty. At 16 pounds, he's large and in charge – the complete opposite of the scrawny kitten we brought home from the shelter 5 1/2 years ago. He's the perfect mix of predator and sweet lap cat, but for all that he hypes his hunting skills, he's never been outside and is afraid of his own shadow. Though not totally his fault, he's made life around our house much more interesting since the beginning of the year.

SQL Saturday Returns To Chicago A Fourth Time!

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 13:45:09 +0000

Where can you find deep dish pizza, questionable politics, amazing architecture and a great SQL Saturday all in one stop? Sweet Home Chicago! The organizing committee in the windy city has been hard at work, and SQL Saturday #211: Chicago 2013 is open for registration.

This year the event will be taking place on Saturday April 13, 2013. DeVry University's Addison Campus is once again graciously allowing us to use their awesome facility. We're all looking forward to a great day of free SQL Server training, networking, and #SQLFamily in Chicagoland. Please join us!

PASS Summit & Portland SQL Saturday Recap

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:45:38 +0000

Three weeks ago I had quite the trip to the Pacific Northwest. I was very fortunate to present in Portland at SQL Saturday #172, and then headed up to Seattle for the 2012 PASS Summit. It was a fantastic week and I hope I can do something similar next year! Here's some thoughts I had from each event in no particular order.

SQL Saturday #172

Bacon in gravy form!

Portland is an awesome city! I had been there once before and had a terrific time, so I was very happy to be able to return. If you've never been, I highly recommend you check it out sometime. As a bonus, it's incredibly pedestrian-friendly and the public transit options are excellent.

Consult FlavorTown USA before traveling. If you're a fan of Diners Drive-Ins and Dives, this website is for you! They keep track of all the places the show has visited so you can stop by yourself should you be in the neighborhood. It turns out my hotel was only a few blocks from Blueplate Lunch Counter so I headed there for lunch after I got into town. I got the meatloaf with mashed potatoes and creamy bacon gravy. Amazing!

Always have a backup plan. Anything can happen before or during your presentation, so be a good Boy (or Girl) Scout and BE PREPARED! I keep extra copies of all my presentation materials in multiple places: email, Dropbox, S3, and a thumb drive. Being prepared for disaster saved my bacon, as my Demo VM decided to corrupt itself the night before the event. Fortunately nothing was truly lost due to the backups, so I ran them on my local machine instead and all was good with the world.

Bacon on a doughnut is divine. Voodoo Doughnut is a can't-miss destination if you've never been to Portland before. For DBAs, you're in even more luck, because one of their specialties just happens to be the Bacon Maple Bar.

Buck says the cloud is more than vapor!

There's always something to learn. One of the things I love about SQL Saturdays and SQL Server in general is that no matter how much experience you have there will always be someone who knows more or is more familiar with with a specific subject than you. Not because they're smarter than you, but because their work environment has led them to gain experience with different features of SQL Server. All these different people coming together to share these experiences for free is what makes SQL Saturday events and the community in general so amazing.

The cloud is coming for your career. I had the immense pleasure of finally meeting Buck Woody (@buckwoody), who gave the keynote on this topic. This should come as no surprise to any of us, and Buck gave plenty of tips on how to keep our skillsets relevant during this period of architectural change. It was an excellent talk!

PASS Summit

With Tim Ford and the Quiz Bowl trophy

I love Seattle's weather! Really. I know Robert L. Davis (@SQLSoldier) wrote a blog post entitled "Don't Be That PASS Summit Guy" where he encourages first-timers to avoid doing things such as commenting on the rain or lack of sunshine, but I'm commenting in a positive way so I hope that's alright. Seriously though I'm a big fan of overcast and rainy weather, and I think I only saw the sun for an hour or two over the 5 days I was in Seattle. I'm really not sure why I haven't moved there yet!

Quiz Bowl. I had heard of it, but having never been to Summit before, didn't exactly know what to expect. I'm so glad I went to check it out at the welcome reception, and was in disbelief when I was selected to play. I got paired with community expert and @SQLChicken extraordinaire Jorge Segarra, and together we dominated the game, emerging victorious. I took home a new iPad as a prize; Jorge was exempt from winning as only the participants picked from the audience were eligible. I was so excited to play, as it brought me back to the time I spent on my high school scholastic bowl team! A huge thank you to Tim Ford (@SQLAgentMan) and Louis Davidson (@DrSQL) for putting it all together, and to SQL Sentry for sponsoring!

There's a lot of DBAs just like myself out there. I've been to a lot of SQL community events, but never anything as large as the PASS Summit, which had probably ten times the number of attendees as any SQL Saturday I've been to. It's quite inspiring to know how many other people out there share my excitement and fascination with data and its intelligent management.

I'm really bad at names and faces. I have a terrible habit of forgetting who people are if I've only met them once or twice. If this happened to you at the Summit, please accept my most sincere apologies. While it's no consolation, please know that it horrifies me to have someone walk up to me and start talking like they know who I am and I can't for the life of me figure out who they are.

Feel the community love. I was incredibly happy to be able to meet lots of people in person that I've previously only chatted online with. So many that I won't enumerate them here for fear of this post becoming a laundry list of names. You folks know who you are though, and I'm so glad to be able to put a face with your name and twitter photo!

Serenading the unicorn at SQLKaraoke

The sessions are awesome. So many blog posts about PASS Summit talk about the social and community aspects, and they're absolutely right. Getting all these awesome people together in one place lends itself to some amazing networking. But just like back in college where I had to go to class every once in a while (or at least that's what I'd tell my parents), the real meat and potatoes of Summit is the sessions, and they were incredible. For me, the hardest part was deciding which ones to attend because I'd often find myself having to pick between 2 or 3 that I really wanted to see.

Twitter and Foursquare are incredibly useful. Not that this was any secret before, but it became especially apparent to me while at an event with so many attendees that use them. There was a constant dialog on Twitter of where people were, what sessions they were attending, and how they were going. Similarly Foursquare made it very easy to let others know where you're at so you all can meet up. I really can't imagine the Summit without social networking tools!

SQLKaraoke is epic. I've been reading the tweets and blog posts about it for a few years now, and have partaken in karaoke at several SQL Saturdays, but nothing prepared me for the real deal at Bush Garden. I'm not sure I have the words to do it justice, but it just so happens that there's a SQLKaraoke Blog which can probably do a much better job than I!

So that was my week in SQL Paradise! I really can't wait to do it again next year! If this sounds like something you'd enjoy, registration is now open for the 2013 PASS Summit in Charlotte, NC. Register before January 4, 2013 and receive the lowest possible price!

Does Restoring A Database Modify the Boot Page?

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 15:01:28 +0000

At work, a key function of my team is importing new systems into our data warehouse, most of which come from vendors. To do this we utilize many different methods depending on the capabilities of the source system and desired timeliness of the data. ETL through SSIS, snapshot replication, and transactional replication are among the different technologies we employ. Occasionally for data sources backed by small SQL Server databases, we'll restore full backups of the database in lieu of ETL. This method is very straightforward and requires zero modifications to the source system, since all we need are copies of backups that are already being created.

Portland SQL Saturday and Summit – Oh My!

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 14:35:43 +0000

This is going to be a crazy week!

I'm very happy to be speaking at SQL Saturday #172 in Portland, Oregon on November 3, 2012.I’ll be giving my presentation entitled The Skinny on Data Compression which covers the different types of data compression available in SQL Server and some of the details behind how they work. This session will also cover the pros and cons of compressing data and how to determine which flavor of compression is most appropriate for an object. This presentation was very popular in both Kansas City and Madison, so I’m expecting more of the same in the Pacific Northwest!

Red Gate SQL in the City: Chicago

Thu, 18 Oct 2012 13:03:35 +0000

Back at the first Chicago Free-Con event in 2011, Brent Ozar was talking about how wonderful the SQL Saturday movement is and prophesized that in the near future we'll be seeing similar free training events put on by individual vendors instead of community volunteers. Eighteen months later I found myself at Red Gate's SQL in the City, a multi-city tour which fit very well into Brent's prediction. The Chicago event took place on Friday, October 5.

T-SQL Tuesday #35: A Horror Story

Tue, 09 Oct 2012 12:56:38 +0000

This year, time seems to be flying by faster than ever. It's October already, and we're up to our 35th installment of T-SQL Tuesday. This time we're hosted by Nick Haslam (blog | @nhaslam). Nick's asking "what is your most horrifying discovery from your work with SQL Server?"

The story that scares me the most is one I've actually told a few times lately. It's all about the condition of database backups at my current job right after I started there. As soon as I found out what was going on, I knew resolving this issue would be my top priority.

Wanted: More Object Explorer Filters

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 12:45:10 +0000

More often than not, I’ll expand the “Tables” folder in SQL Server Management Studio and browse the list to find whatever table or index I’m looking for. This works well in many situations, but when your database has over 20,000 tables, the results can be overwhelming! As your databases get larger and more complex, you may find yourself making use of features you previously didn’t need. For me, one of said features is filtering in SSMS object explorer.

Eight Résumé Don’ts

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 13:00:56 +0000

In our formative years we’re taught again and again that one should never judge a book by it’s cover, but when seeking employment that all goes out the window when you create a sheet of paper so that potential employers can judge you by it. Ironic, eh? That’s life, so make sure your résumé represents you in the best possible light. That way you can maximize your chance of avoiding the trash can when HR spends a paltry 6 seconds deciding if you’re worth a phone screen.

Jefferson's Ten Rules

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 13:30:05 +0000

Earlier this month Michelle and I visited friends in Virginia, and one of the places we checked out was Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s primary home and plantation. I highly recommend going there if you’re ever in the area. It was very informative on many levels, but my favorite takeaway was learning what a geek Jefferson was for his day. He did things like take daily weather observations for over 50 years, and used a pantograph to keep a copy of every letter he wrote. Something else I never knew was that the view of Monticello on the Nickel actually shows the back of the house. The iconic octagonal dome isn’t visible from the front entrance.

Do your backups run at the right time?

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 12:45:48 +0000

Many articles on database backups reference running database backups and maintenance processes overnight. In lots of situations this is a great idea, especially if you’re dealing with a transactional system that has users connecting to the database during the day and minimal activity outside of business hours. But for systems with different schedules, night time is not always the right time.

While meeting with a client, they mentioned to me that their database backups take around 7-8 hours to complete. Knowing that their hardware is very similar to mine and that I can back up a database that’s 40 times larger than theirs in a fraction of the time, I suggested they let me investigate the issue.

T-SQL Tuesday: A Day in the Life

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 12:45:20 +0000

July 2012 is the thirty-second installation of T-SQL Tuesday – wow that’s a lot! I can still remember reading posts that were part of the first one…

This month’s topic comes from Erin Stellato (blog | @erinstellato), the newest employee of SQLskills (congrats Erin!!) She’s asking us to track what we do for a day and then write about it – what a nifty idea! Here’s what my workday looked like on Tuesday, July 10:

Eight Ways To Avoid Retaining Top Talent

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 12:45:29 +0000

To say that I was dissatisfied with my previous job is like saying that the surface of the sun is slightly warm. When I resigned, I resisted the urge to blog about it right away, figuring it would be much better to take some time and reflect on it first. A year sounded like a reasonable amount of time, and I left there in May of 2011. Over the past year, some of my feelings mellowed while others didn’t, but I’m still every bit as grateful to have gotten out of there. If you’re in management, lead a team, or are considering that path, here's a few things I recommend you avoid doing:

Law & ORDER BY: Professionalism and Community

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 16:52:32 +0000

Yesterday the Chicago Tribune printed an article on the death of Philip Corboy, a noted trial attorney. I imagine you’ve probably never heard of him, and I’m sure I wouldn’t have either, except I would walk by his law office on my way to work at a previous employer.

The story makes it evident that he was a mentor to many, and one of those interviewed was Terrence Lavin, a Judge who got his start as a law clerk in Corboy’s office. He said that when he was first hired, his boss had a chat with him about being professional and making a name for himself in the law community:

T-SQL Tuesday #31 – Logging

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 12:51:57 +0000

It’s been a while since I’ve written for T-SQL Tuesday, but I couldn’t resist this month’s topic. Aaron Nelson (blog | @SQLvariant) is asking about logging, and it needn’t to pertain to SQL Server. I love transaction logs a lot, but there’s plenty of other logs in my life, the vast majority of which actually involve spreadsheets (woops – secret’s out!) I’ve been keeping data about a lot of aspects of my life for quite a while now. I’m not sure why I started doing it, but it’s come in handy a few times now. Here’s a few examples:

Lessons Learned at SQL Saturday #119

Thu, 31 May 2012 02:22:37 +0000

SQL Saturday #119, our third one in Chicago, was a total blast. This was only my second time on the organizing committee, but I’ve yet to hear anything negative about the event. From my perspective, everything went incredibly smoothly!

SQL Saturdays are a learning experience for all involved – not just the attendees. Rather than give my usual play-by-play of the weekend, I thought I would share the things I learned and how I’ll make it even more amazing next year:

How We Got Our Free-Con in Chicago

Thu, 24 May 2012 17:02:30 +0000

A week ago I was privileged to attend Brent Ozar's Free-Con event. The original Free-Con was held in Seattle before the 2010 PASS Summit, and the second one took place in Chicago before last year's SQL Saturday. Since it was so awesome last year, Brent decided to do it again.

What is the Free-Con?

To paraphrase Brent's explanation, one of the awesome things about events like SQL Saturday and the PASS Summit is that you have so many great community contributors assembled in one place. Unfortunately since there's an event going on, there isn't always a chance for everyone to get together and talk. The Free-Con was created to address this issue and facilitate discussion about a wide variety of topics, none of which include SQL Server.

The 1940 Census: A True NoSQL Database!

Tue, 15 May 2012 12:30:16 +0000

On April 2 of this year, the National Archives released the complete population schedule of the 1940 census. These records were highly anticipated not only for their genealogical value but also because of their detailed information about an incredibly interesting period of U.S. History. This census captured the point in time where the country was finally starting to come out of the great depression but had not yet entered World War II. Many questions it included were new and designed to gauge the effects of the depression, with topics including income, education, unemployment, and migration. In 1940, millions were employed by the WPA, PWA, and other New Deal agencies, and the Farm Security Administration's photography program had a small group of photographers traversing the nation capturing images of everyday American life. Some of my favorite photos come from this collection.

SQL Saturday #119 Update

Thu, 03 May 2012 14:41:58 +0000

Chicago's third annual SQL Saturday will soon be upon us, and as food and beverage coordinator it's my job to obsess over what's on the menu.

SQL Saturday food offerings seem to have evolved over time. The first few I attended offered pizza, which is of course a great way to feed a large number of people. While very cost-effective, pizza is also not all that exciting. This did not go unnoticed; it seems there was a shift to more local food specialties that aren't pizza. Lately I've seen more local offerings like amazing barbecue in Kansas City and excellent bratwurst in Wisconsin.

Compression Estimates That Don’t Make Sense

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 15:59:34 +0000

"Statistics means never having to say you're certain" is a well-known quote that would often come up in my AP Statistics class back in high school. The same can be implied for estimation, and while estimates need not be perfect, they should at least be logical. While estimating the effects of compressing data I recently came across a behavior that I don't think Mr. Spock would approve of.

The sp_estimate_data_compression_savings procedure is an excellent tool for estimating how compression will affect an index or partition. It works by sampling 5% of the appropriate pages and applies the desired level of compression on them in TempDB. The results are then extrapolated to give an estimated size for the entire index/partition with that level of compression applied. It's not perfect, but again it's an estimate. I recently found however that depending on the datatypes present in the table, that estimate can get very bad. I noticed this in SQL Server 2008R2, but it also shows up in 2012.

SQL Saturday #118: Wisconsin-Style!

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 12:38:00 +0000

This past weekend I was very fortunate to be able to attend and speak at SQL Saturday #118 in Madison, Wisconsin. This was a top-notch event; all the hard work and planning that went into it really showed in how smoothly things ran.

My trip began around noon on Friday, which was a great decision because I hit no traffic at all on the way up there. I checked into the Crowne Plaza Madison and ended up with a little time to kill before heading out to help set things up. The hotel was excellent, featuring a pool and free wi-fi that was surprisingly fast. I've been gouged at other hotels for a much slower connection!

Preventing SSRS From Changing Text Size

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 12:45:02 +0000

Every once in a while I find myself building a report in SQL Server Reporting Services. I know my way around SSRS enough to get a report looking the way I like, but I'm definitely not an expert in the subject. While developing a report recently I noticed some very strange behavior that I have a hard time believing is intended: SSRS is changing font sizes on me depending on what I'm viewing! I'm happy to provide screenshots and instructions to reproduce this behavior, and also the solutions I found. If you're curious, I first observed this in SQL Server 2008 R2 SP1 CU2 (10.50.2772), though I'm guessing it appears in earlier builds as well. It is still present in the latest build, SQL Server 2008 R2 SP1 CU5 (10.50.2806).

SQLFriends: A Different Kind of Gathering

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 13:03:38 +0000

Imagine you had the chance to get together with other data professionals in your area in a setting outside of a training session or user group meeting. There's no formal agenda, just an excellent meal and some great conversation. Perhaps a respected expert is available to answer questions and bounce ideas off of. Does this sound appealing? If so, you should check out SQLFriends.

This past Friday I had the pleasure of attending the first-ever SQLFriends event!

Speaking at SQL Saturday #118: Wisconsin 2012

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 12:45:18 +0000

I feel very fortunate to have been chosen as a speaker for SQL Saturday #118 in Wisconsin on April 21, 2012. After an excellent time speaking at MADPASS in February, I'm really looking forward to getting back to Madison for this event!

I'll be giving my presentation entitled The Skinny on Data Compression which covers the different types of data compression available in SQL Server and some of the details behind how they work. I'll also talk about the pros and cons of compressing data and how to determine which flavor of compression is most appropriate for an object. This presentation was very popular in Kansas City and I'm expecting more of the same up North next month!

T-SQL and B-Ball: My 2012 NCAA Bracket

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 13:34:34 +0000

March Madness is once again upon us, which means it's time for one of the biggest time sinks of the year: filling out a bracket for the pseudo-sanctioned office NCAA pool. Along with the superbowl, this is a hallowed time when bosses turn a blind eye to all the cash that seems to be heading towards that person who has been designated as both trustworthy enough to manage the pool and cool enough to forget that gambling is against company policy.

T-SQL Tuesday #28: Jack of All Trades or Master of None?

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 12:45:00 +0000

This month's T-SQL Tuesday is brought to us by newly-minted MCM Argenis Fernandez (blog | @DBArgenis), who I had the pleasure of meeting in person for the first time a few weeks ago. Argenis is asking if we specialize or not, why we do (or don't) specialize, and why we feel that's a good thing.
For a very long time I've been interested in the internals of the database engine and how data gets stored on disk. Back in junior high and high school I spent a lot of time trying to do things like figure out how to extract data from MS Access files without actually opening Access. I never had a whole lot of success because I didn't understand exactly what was going on (and I was almost always looking for values in plain text), but it never stopped me from trying. So long as there wasn't any encryption involved I was convinced I could get my data out via other means, if only I knew everything about how it was stored. Unfortunately for me I didn't have a whole lot of options for figuring that out at the time.
Fast forward to now where the internet is much more helpful, I'm part of an amazing community, and I have an income with which I can purchase books and other materials. I definitely consider myself to be a specialist in database engine internals, but I don't feel like I'm a master and probably never will – I think there's just too much going on to ever completely understand it all. The deeper I dig on a particular topic the more there is at a lower layer. I'm ok with all this because I think it's nice to know there's always something else to learn. And even if I did know everything, I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable saying that.

MADPASS February 2012 Roundup

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:06:58 +0000

This week I was very fortunate to speak at the February 2012 MADPASS user group meeting. I've seen lots of positive tweets about the group over the course of the past year and had been hoping to attend a meeting of theirs, so when I got the email a few months ago asking if I would present I jumped at the chance.

I left Chicago around noon figuring I would give myself plenty of time to drive there, find my way if I got lost, and/or sit in traffic. I didn't end up getting lost or hitting any traffic, so I ended up with a few hours to kill. Fortunately the building MADPASS meets in has this awesome room called "The Pub" which very much looks the part. I think my building needs one of these! I spent a few hours in there, got some work done via wi-fi and made sure my slide deck was in order.

Speaking at MADPASS Next Week

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 13:45:51 +0000

Next Wednesday I'll have the pleasure of speaking at MADPASS! I've been meaning to visit this group for a while, so I'm very excited to head up there and be speaking. Here's all the pertinent info:

WHERE: 2310 Crossroads Drive, Madison, WI 53718

WHEN: Wednesday, February 22, 2012. 5:30 PM

I’ll be giving one of my oldies-but-goodies, a presentation entitled “Backups and Restores In Depth”. I’ll discuss some of the finer points of backups, restores, and how they work. I’ll also cover the three recovery models in detail and add some best practices along the way.

T-SQL Tuesday #27: Why I Love Big Data

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:40:06 +0000

Happy T-SQL Tuesday to all! (and happy Valentine's Day too!) This month's T-SQL Tuesday comes to us courtesy of Steve Jones (blog | @way0utwest). Steve is asking us to write about "big data" – specifically the problems we've solved or interesting ways we've found to work with it. In honor of the holiday, I'm going to take a slight tangent from that and talk about why I love working with it instead.

A Restore Tale

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:45:12 +0000

If you're reading this, you probably already know that while backup strategies are important, restore strategies are what really matter. If you aren't able to restore a database when a disaster has occurred and money's on the line, you may find yourself very quickly updating your resume and leaving town. Practicing restores will not only tell you that your backups work, it also gives you good practice for your restore process. (If you don't have a restore process, then it's an excellent opportunity to create one!) When the CEO is tapping you on the shoulder wondering when the database will be back online, wouldn't it be great to look like a pro flying through the menus (or better yet to have everything scripted out) instead of clicking around like you haven't done a restore in years? You'll also have a pretty good idea of how long a restore will take if you've practiced recently and kept track of the time, which will come in handy when everyone wants to know how long it will take to get things back up and running.

Collecting Index Usage Statistics

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:25:23 +0000

Knowing when and how often your indexes are used can really come in handy. Indexes that are never utilized aren't worth keeping around, and knowing their usage patterns can be a big help when making decisions regarding things such as filegroup placement and compression settings. SQL Server 2005 brought some great advancements in the form of the sys.dm_db_index_usage_stats DMV, which returns statistics on index usage that are automatically being kept by the server. While it's a step forward, I feel it still leaves a few things to be desired:

2012: New Year, New Goals

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 13:42:55 +0000

Happy New Year to all! At the start of 2011, I laid out some goals for the year and did an update on them back in July. Now that it's 2012 it's a great time to take a look at what I accomplished (and fell short on) last year and also set some new targets. My 2011 goals were as follows:

Speak More – I spoke at two SQL Saturdays this year, #67 in Chicago and #101 in Kansas City. I had hoped to make it to more than 2, but I still met my goal for the year and am hoping to continue the trend.

T-SQL Tuesday #025: Trick or …?

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:45:15 +0000
This month's T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by Allen White (blog | @SQLRunr) and is an invitation to show off a nifty T-SQL trick you use to make your job easier. Here's one of my favorites as of late:
Some of the source systems we copy from shard their data across multiple similar tables. For example, instead of having 1 table named dbo.Sales, they might have 30 of them named dbo.Sales_001 to dbo.Sales_030. If there were a rhyme or reason to this sharding it might be seen as an advantage, but unfortunately neither myself nor others on the team have ever found a method to this madness, and the vendor will not divulge the way they do this. As if that's not bad enough, additional tables can pop up out of nowhere, and not all these tables are guaranteed to contain the same columns. Table dbo.Sales_031 may pop up tomorrow and have only a subset of the columns from the previous 30 tables, or may contain new columns not present in any of the others.

SQL Saturday #119 Open for Registration!

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 14:47:07 +0000

The third time's a charm! SQL Saturday #119 (Chicago 2012) has been posted on the SQL Saturday website! It will once again be held at the DeVry University campus in Addison, IL and will be on May 19, 2012.

SQL Saturday in Chicago has a special place in my heart for a few reasons. The first SQL Saturday I ever attended was SQL Saturday #31 back in 2009, the very first one held in Chicago. I didn't have this blog back then, but had an excellent time. Last year was SQL Saturday #67, which I did blog about. I was also very fortunate to be part of a great group of people who help put it together, and am back for more this time around. The rest of our team consists of:

Christmas Gifts I’d Like to See

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 13:45:38 +0000

Well, we're back at the top of the month again, and this time around for Meme Monday we're to talk about what we'd love to see under the tree from Microsoft. This got my creative juices flowing, and I came up three wishes:

First and foremost, if I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children of the world would join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

The 1433rd Psalm

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 13:45:44 +0000

The DBA is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green Integration Services tasks:
he leadeth me beside the still SSDs.

He restoreth my filegroups:
he leadeth me in the paths of MS best practices for his sanity's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of joins, I will fear no scans:
for thou art the optimizer; Thy indexes and statistics they comfort me.

A Tale of Training

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 13:45:20 +0000

As a follow-up to my previous post about the steps you may have to go through to attend training if your employer can't or won't offer assistance in the form of either money or time off, I have a story of my own to tell. I was unhappy at my previous place of work for several reasons, a few of which I've blogged about already and a few more I'm sure will come in the future.

Negotiating Your Way to Training

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 13:45:19 +0000

In honor of today being the last day to get the special preview rate for the 2012 PASS Summit, I thought I'd offer some tips on negotiating with your boss for money to attend such a conference or training event. For more info about registration, click here.

Keeping up to date in the technology world is a journey, not a destination. I'm at peace with the fact that I'll never know everything about SQL Server, but that doesn't make me want to stop learning more. If you're not putting in the extra time to keep your skills and knowledge up to date, rest assured that someone else is.

T-SQL Tuesday #24: Functions v. Procedures

Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:45:20 +0000

This month brings us the 24th edition of T-SQL Tuesday (24 already? wow….). This time around our topic comes from Brad Schulz (blog) and has to do with stored procedures and functions. Brad's asking us to write whatever we'd like about either of them.

While from the bird's-eye view both functions (the table-valued variety) and stored procedures appear as packages of code that can be encapsulated, they're completely different and much thought should be given before making the decision to deploy code as either a stored procedure or function. While they are totally different animals, I feel there's a few basic pros and cons of each that should be known:

Thoughts on #SQLFamily

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:36:29 +0000

This is the second time I've participated in the "Meme Monday" blog events that have been brought to us by Tom LaRock (blog | @SQLRockstar). The topic is on what "SQL Family" means to us. A few things popped into my head as soon as I read it, and I'm happy to share them:
First and foremost SQLFamily means there's **people you can count on** for help, no matter what time it is. Twitter definitely makes this possible, because there's always people in our family awake in some part of the world, online and chattering about something. The #sqlhelp hash tag makes it even easier to accomplish this.
Another thing that's made me feel special about our SQLFamily since the very beginning was the sense of equality between members. There's a very wide range of skills between all of us, from those who are just getting started in the database world all the way up to the experts that write books, documentation, and exams for everyone. I'm very proud to say that I've never witnessed any form of elitist behavior, and it's really nice to know that those at the top of the food chain haven't forgotten that they started off at the bottom at one point too.

SQL Saturday #101 Wrap Up

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:45:42 +0000

After my trek to Iowa City last year for SQL Saturday #50, I knew I'd have to travel to more out-of-town SQL Saturdays in the future. Unfortunately I couldn't make it back to Iowa City this year, but I was very happy when I found I would be able to travel to Kansas City this time around for SQL Saturday #101. This is also the first SQL Saturday I've flown to. I like driving, but not quite enough to drive that far!

Creating Views in Another Database

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:45:43 +0000

Have you ever had one of those times where you spent hours trying different ways to make something work the way you envisioned, only to find that the solution was staring you in the face all along? I have those more often than I'd like to admit – and while the title of this post seems like a DBA 101 topic, the answer isn't really all that simple. To hopefully help others (and perhaps my future self) I'll document a recent one here. I'm sure there will be plenty more in the future as well!

Speaking at SQL Saturday #101: Kansas City

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 12:45:03 +0000

I'm very happy to have been chosen to speak at SQL Saturday #101 in Kansas City on October 29th. Those responsible for planning have put together an excellent schedule with a great group of speakers that I'm proud to be among!

I'll be presenting 2 sessions that day:

Backups and Recovery In Depth takes a good look at how backup and restore operations work in SQL Server, how your choice of recovery model affects what they do, and how this knowledge can be utilized to develop an effective restore strategy for your database. This session got lots of positive feedback at SQL Saturday #67 in Chicago earlier this year, so I'm hoping it's a hit this time as well.

T-SQL Tuesday #23: WHERE The JOIN Ends

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 14:56:42 +0000

This month's T-SQL Tuesday topic comes to us courtesy of Stuart Ainsworth (blog | @codegumbo), and is early due to the PASS Summit being next week. Perhaps those planning next year's summit will do a better job to make sure they don't interfere with any blogging parties :)

Stuart's topic for the month is joins, and while they are certainly a building block of the skyscraper that is database usage, their complexities can still trip up experienced users from time to time. I ran into a new (to me) join "gotcha" not too long ago and had this post in my queue to release later, but once this topic was announced I knew it would be appropriate to discuss here.

T-SQL Tuesday #22: Pseudo-XML

Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:09:04 +0000
This month the 22nd T-SQL Tuesday comes to us courtesy of Robert Pearl (blog | @PearlKnows), and he's asking us to write about formatting data for presentation to end users. He describes end-users as "boss, supervisor, department head, the analyst, employees, or customers". I'm going to take the liberty of extending this to include **other computers** so I can tell you all about what I came to call "Pseudo-XML".
Fresh out of college I didn't exactly find the DBA job I was hoping for. Nobody was really looking to trust their databases to a kid with no real work experience and I don't blame them! Instead I started off as a software developer writing a lot of database access code. A good deal of the time I worked there was spent rewriting the middle layer of their website from an old system which used Tcl to a new one using the .Net Framework. The data I needed to read was stored in SQL Server, and the presentation layer was in ASP (pre- .Net) and most of it was reading XML files. My mission was to use C# to create XML files identical to those being generated by the Tcl code. Sounds easy enough, right?

Dealing With Multiple Filegroups

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 14:14:56 +0000

Everything is good in moderation, and when it comes to having multiple filegroups in your database, I believe this to be true there as well. Having multiple filegroups allows you to spread your data across multiple disks, and can also come in handy for features like partitioning. When applied properly and reasonably, multiple filegroups can lead to significant performance improvements.

When applied unreasonably, the result will probably be similar to what I have experienced lately – a large thorn in your side! There's a maximum limit of 32,767 filegroups per database, but I don't recommend having anywhere near that number. One of the systems I've been working with has over 100 filegroups, most of which serve little to no purpose because they contain very few tables and are all located on the same drive. Some are worth keeping as they contain data that's accessed in ways that could benefit from a separate filegroup, but it seems the logic used by those who came before me was "If I'm creating 2 or 3 tables about X, I'll make a filegroup for X as well." This large number of filegroups is not only a pain to manage, but a waste of disk space too, as most of them contain files sized much larger than they needed to be.

A Data-Centric Wedding

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 12:53:28 +0000

I'm back! I really never left, but due to the time spent putting the final pieces together for my wedding things got a bit stale here. I can't really say I'm sorry though, as the whole experience created some great blog topics! As you now know if you didn't already, I got married recently. My ~~fianceé~~ wife and I had a blast planning it all ourselves, and early on we decided that my DBA skills could come in handy as we would be generating a decent amount of data throughout the process. The guest list, invitation information, replies, meal choices, seating charts, gifts received and thank you notes sent could all be stored in a database, and schema designs started popping into my head shortly after we got engaged. As we had a relatively long engagement there was plenty of time to think everything through before the coding began.

T-SQL Tuesday #21: Bad Decisions

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 02:56:45 +0000

Howdy folks and Happy T-SQL ~~Tuesday~~ Wednesday! Contrary to popular belief, both myself and my blog are not dead, it's just that preparations for my upcoming wedding have taken up nearly all of my spare time. Once I return from my honeymoon I hope to be back to blogging as usual!

This month's topic comes from none other than the founder of the T-SQL Tuesday movement, Adam Machanic (blog | @AdamMachanic). Adam's asking us to write about what he so eloquently describes as "crap code". We've all made poor coding and/or design choices at one pont or another, and even if it seemed like a good idea at the time it might still look bad in hindsight because we've all learned better ways to do things as we have progressed in our careers. This topic left me faced with a tough decision as I've definitely made my share of bad decisions whether I knew better at the time or not. I decided to go with an oldie-but-goodie that still haunts me to this day.

2011 Goals Update: Midyear Edition

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 12:41:07 +0000

Back in January, the T-SQL Tuesday topic was about our "techie resolutions", and I was happy to contribute my list. As of today, 2011 is half over (already?!?) so it's time to check on my progress.

Speak More – So far this year the only SQL Saturday I've made it to was #67 in Chicago, which I helped to plan. I'm hoping I have the time to make it to one more before the year's out, but it will definitely be after my wedding in August.

T-SQL Tuesday #19 – Disasters & Recovery

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:03:15 +0000
This month's T-SQL Tuesday comes to us courtesy of Allen Kinsel and the topic is disasters. In the spirit of the beginning of hurricane season, Allen's asking for stories related to disasters, either preparing for them or recovering from them. A recent tale I have is not quite about preparing for a disaster, but rather about lack of preparation and (inevitably) the disaster eventually occurring.
When I started my last job, one of the peculiarities I noticed was that the transaction logs on the main production database were extremely large and taking up nearly all its disk space. Digging a little deeper, it was because transaction log backups were only being taken once daily. Several times I recommended increasing the frequency of the transaction log backups to reduce the log size. As an added bonus I could shrink the log and partially re-grow it so it would have much less than its current 25,000 VLFs.

Discussing Pay in the Workplace

Tue, 24 May 2011 12:46:44 +0000

So I quit my job last week. As is the practice at most companies, I had to complete an exit interview. Since my former employer was rather geographically distributed and there were no human resources staff in my office, my exit interview was on paper instead of face-to-face. I liked this much better because I had more time to think through my answers instead of coming up with them on the spot.

My SQLskills Immersion Experience

Fri, 20 May 2011 14:28:16 +0000

Two weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending the SQLskills Immersion Event on Internals and Performance taught by Paul Randal (blog | @PaulRandal) and Kimberly L. Tripp (blog | @KimberlyLTripp). I had been wanting to attend one of these for quite some time, and when it was announced they would be coming to the Chicago area I knew I couldn't pass it up.

The Class

This is my brain
My goal for the week was simple – become a sponge! I knew Paul and Kimberly would have a tremendous amount of knowledge to share and I was determined to make the most of it.
I didn't do a head count, but I'd say the class had around 30 students in it. There was a pretty wide geographic distribution – people from several states and a few different countries as well. The sessions were highly interactive and we were free to raise our hands and ask questions at any time – even about topics that weren't on the agenda. There was also plenty of time during breaks and in the evenings to ask more in-depth questions and get advice from Kimberly and Paul. You just can't beat that!

My PASS Summit Submission

Fri, 13 May 2011 11:59:57 +0000

Quick thought: I first posted to this blog a year ago today. Since then there have been 62 more posts, hundreds of comments and some readership numbers I'm proud of. My sincere thanks to all of you who have stopped by to read or have offered support here or on Twitter. I love the SQL Server community!

This year I decided to take the plunge and submit my session on backups & recovery for the PASS Summit. Here's the abstract:

T-SQL Tuesday #18 Wrapup

Wed, 11 May 2011 13:00:09 +0000

A great big thanks to all who contributed posts to T-SQL Tuesday #18! There were 23 posts in all and they covered a wide variety of tips and tricks that can be done with CTEs! If you're looking to learn a ton, read through all the awesome content below! Without any further ado, here's a quick look at what everyone wrote:

Matt Whitfield (blog | @atlantis_uk) – Matt explains recursive CTEs and uses them to query a permission hierarchy.

Invitation to T-SQL Tuesday #18 – CTEs

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 12:32:14 +0000
This month marks the 18th installment of T-SQL Tuesday. T-SQL Tuesday was started in December 2009 by Adam Machanic (blog | @AdamMachanic) and is defined as "a recurring, revolving blog party". Any blogger wishing to participate is invited to write about the given topic, chosen by whoever is hosting that particular month. I'm very pleased to be hosting this time around for the T-SQL Tuesday taking place on **May 10, 2011**!
The Topic

This month's topic is CTEs, or Common Table Expressions. Had you asked me 10 years ago what CTE meant, I would have replied "coefficient of thermal expansion" but that was back in my semiconductor & electronic materials phase. I like the database version much better :)

Microsoft Exam 70-451 Wrap Up

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 13:05:43 +0000

This weekend I took and passed Microsoft Exam 70-451 (MCITP: Database Developer 2008). I'm pleased to say my score on this exam was much higher than its prerequisite, 70-433, which I wrote about a few months ago. Much like last time, I am happy to offer my thoughts for those who might be taking this test in the future.

How I Studied

I won't go as far as saying that I didn't study this time around. I did do some studying, albeit not much. After reading through the list of topics covered I decided to direct my efforts towards a few areas I felt I could benefit the most from reviewing. For instance, I felt I could benefit much more from studying transaction and concurrency strategies than from studying tables and programming objects.

T-SQL Tuesday #17: Applying APPLY

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 12:26:49 +0000
This month's T-SQL Tuesday is the brainchild of Matt Velic and was inspired by a quote from Adam Machanic on the importance of understanding the APPLY operator. It's a good trick to have up your sleeve as it can do some nifty things and really save you some keystrokes when used properly.
My first experience with APPLY occurred many moons ago when I was working with a system that required a pipe-delimited list of values. Fortunately whoever developed it long ago had the good sense to store the data properly (first normal form) in tables and only build the comma-delimited lists at query time. That being said, the queries used cursors to build the lists iteratively. This all worked fine, however the performance left a lot to be desired.

BETWEEN a DATE and a DATETIME Place

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 14:22:30 +0000

I'm not a fan of the BETWEEN operator. While the syntax is very easy to understand and requires less typing than my favorite alternative, it can lead to situations where unwanted results are returned. Because of this I've gotten into the habit of avoiding it all together.

If you'd like a refresher on BETWEEN, its syntax works like this:

a BETWEEN b AND c

where a, b, and c are expressions of the same data type. The result will be all values of a falling in the inclusive range between b and c. This means the following statements are equivalent:

Meme Monday: 11 words or less

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 13:23:05 +0000

My shortest post to date comes as from the inaugural "Meme Monday" as declared by Tom LaRock. Here's my deep SQL Server thought in 11 words or less:

Don't deploy changes until they've been tested in a dev environment.

Tagged:
Jose Chinchilla (blog)
Kendra Little (blog | twitter)

SQL Saturday #67 Wrap Up

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 16:55:54 +0000

Another SQL Saturday has come and gone, but for me this one was the best by far. I've now had the pleasure of attending 3 SQL Saturday events but this was the first one I've had a hand in planning. It was a great experience and I can't wait until next year!

Friday

On Friday I spent the day at Brent Ozar's (blog | twitter) super-awesome FreeCon (I'll post about that soon!) From there I headed to the event site, DeVry University in Addison (thank you for letting us use your building!), where I joined a group already hard at work doing things like stuffing goody bags, moving tables and sorting registration info. From there we headed to the speaker dinner at Home Run Inn, which was sponsored by the great folks at SQL Sentry. There I got to meet some wonderful people I had previously known only from twitter including Allen White (blog | twitter), Hope Foley (blog | twitter), Jose Chinchilla (blog) and Nicholas Cain (blog | twitter).

SQL Saturday #67 This Week!

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 13:04:34 +0000

After months of planning, SQL Saturday #67 is finally upon us! While this is the 3rd SQL Saturday I'll be attending, it's the first one I've had a hand in planning. It's been a real pleasure to be part of such an awesome team putting it all together along with:
– Wendy Pastrick (blog | twitter)
– Norman Kelm (blog | twitter)
– Ted Krueger (blog | twitter)
– Bill Lescher (twitter)
– Rich Rousseau (twitter)
– Aaron Lowe (blog | twitter)
– Jes Borland (blog | twitter)

T-SQL and the Big D520

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 12:35:31 +0000

I enjoy watching college basketball but am absolutely horrible at making my NCAA tournament bracket each year. This time around, rather than spending an hour making guesses, I decided to let SQL Server do the work for me. Besides it's way cooler to be able to justify your bracket with T-SQL, right?

My bracket is based on an expression using 3 data points:
– Name of the school
– Number of overall games won
– Number of overall games lost

A Poor Man’s Data Warehouse

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 13:32:13 +0000

T-SQL Tuesday this month is being hosted by the one and only Jes Borland (blog | twitter), and the topic of the month is aggregation. Powerful and fast aggregation tools are one of the biggest reasons to use a database. Without them, there would be a lot less awesomeness to look forward to – kind of like a meal without bacon.

Even almighty bacon has its downsides (fat, sodium, etc), and as awesome as aggregates are, they have weaknesses too. What can become an issue with aggregates are that by nature, all applicable values must be scanned to generate the aggregate. For instance, you can't figure out the average of a set of numbers without scanning the entire set. The same holds true for the sum, min, max, and other statistics. This means that the time it takes to calculate an average can grow with the size of the data set. As sets get increasingly large, performance can degrade to the point where it's no longer acceptable, in which case other tools may be necessary to deliver the requested aggregate information in an appropriate amount of time.

Another Case for Offsite Backups

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 13:18:53 +0000

If you've been following my blog, you'll know that I've written quite a few posts about the wonders of cloud backups and why you should be doing them to protect your precious data and memories. This doesn't just apply to personal computer use – businesses should be taking advantage of offsite backups as well. Large businesses typically have this under control, but I've found that small businesses (especially those without an IT staff) tend to be the most vulnerable. Owners of many small businesses know just enough technology to do what they need, and rarely have the time or desire to keep up with changing times and best practices. While I don't hold this against anyone, it is rather unfortunate.

T-SQL Tuesday #15: Automation

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 13:33:37 +0000

This Month's T-SQL Tuesday is being hosted by Pat Wright (blog | twitter) and Pat is asking about tips and tricks for making life easier through automation using either T-SQL or PowerShell.

Recently I have been doing more and more work in PowerShell in order to get familiar with it. So far I've been quite happy. Batch scripting always seemed rather clumsy to me, and PowerShell represents a much-needed improvement, especially coming from a .Net programming background like I do.

Data Domains & Security

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 13:34:54 +0000

After working with data day-in and day-out for a while, it doesn't seem unreasonable that thinking about the domain and appropriate datatype for storing a set of data would become second-nature. I know it's that way for me. Sadly, I can't say the same for one of the banks I do business with, which shall remain nameless.

I have accounts at several banks, only one of which is brick-and-mortar in my neighborhood. The rest are either online only, or have a physical presence somewhere far far away from me. The bank in question has an online banking system that's rather primitive compared to others, though it works perfectly well. The complexity of their interface was less important to me than the interest rate they paid about 5 years ago when I was shopping for another online bank.

Un-SQL Friday: Tech Giants

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 16:26:17 +0000

I haven't had a real meat-and-potatoes technical post in a while and for that I apologize, however as you can see at the top of the page, this blog is "on SQL Server and kindred subjects". I'll have to write more about where the "kindred subjects" part came from later, but I'm clearly not limiting myself to just writing about SQL Server. Be sure to tune in next week and I promise I'll have some SQL Server content for you!

Book Review: DownTime

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 13:15:34 +0000

It's been a little while since I've read a non-technical book, so I thought I'd give this one a try. This full name of this book is DownTime – A Guide to Federal Incarceration, and that's exactly what it is. It had an answer for pretty much anything I'd ever wondered about federal prison, and a lot of things I hadn't even thought of.

It's author is David Novak, who did time after pleading guilty to one count each of mail fraud and making a false distress signal. After his release he started a consulting business to help those facing federal incarceration, and writing DownTime was part of that. He has since retired, though he continues to update the book. Through internet searches I was also able to find out he was working on a documentary about life in federal prison, however he appears to have run into legal issues involving the financing.

T-SQL Tuesday #14: My Techie Resolutions

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 15:15:54 +0000

This month is the 14th T-SQL Tuesday (my how time flies!) and it's graciously being hosted by MidnightDBA and newly-minted MVP Jen McCown (blog | twitter).

Jen is asking what our techie resolutions are for 2011 – what we hope to accomplish and why. I think this is a great topic, and I'm so glad I hadn't already done a post like this as many do around New Year's. Without any further ado, here are my resolutions for this year:

Microsoft Exam 70-433 Wrap Up

Tue, 04 Jan 2011 13:54:51 +0000

What do you call someone who graduated last in their class? In this case, me! I recently took Microsoft Exam 70-433 (MCTS: Database Developer 2008), and am pleased to report that I passed. I'm happy to offer up some of my thoughts as well as tips for those who might take it in the future.

Scoring – Why Bother?

So you know how I just said that I passed? That's a half-truth. The other half is that I exactly passed. The minimum passing score was 700, and that's what I got. I feel pretty dumb, however I'm sure I would feel a lot worse were my score 699.

T-SQL Tuesday #13: What The Business Wants

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 13:17:20 +0000

This month is the (lucky) 13th T-SQL Tuesday and is being hosted by Steve Jones (blog | twitter). Steve is asking about issues we've had interacting with a business in order to get the job done. Specifying project requirements often leads to the classic problem of "do what I meant, not what I said!". In my opinion, a lot of it deals with the spirit of what the business means. Here's a few examples:

SQL Saturday #67 is a Go!

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 14:25:06 +0000

SQL Saturday #67 (Chicago 2011) has been posted on the SQL Saturday website!

Please Join Us!

We had an excellent turn out last year, and it's looking like it'll turn out that way again. Registration has been open a little more than a week and we already have over 100 registrations! Our limit is 400, so at the current rate you only have about 3 weeks left to sign up. Please visit the registration page if you're interested! The event itself is free, but there is a $7.00 charge for lunch (not pizza!)

Multiple Result Sets = Multiple Row Counts

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 13:46:19 +0000

I'm sure this one's been in SQL Server Management Studio for quite a while, but I never noticed it before now.

Let's say you're running a batch in SSMS containing 2 T-SQL Statements. For simplicity's sake, I'll do some selects from my Numbers table:

1SELECT TOP 10 * FROM Numbers; 2SELECT TOP 100 * FROM Numbers;

The "Results" tab appears with 2 result sets. The first has 10 rows, and the second has 100. The rows counter at the bottom right says "110 rows". All of is exactly what I've come to expect. (Click on any screenshot to enlarge)

What I’m Thankful For

Wed, 24 Nov 2010 14:36:22 +0000

With Thanksgiving coming up here in the US, I was planning on doing a post like this anyway, but then Jason Strate (blog | twitter) decided to ask everyone, so I'm happy to join in!

Thanksgiving is my 2nd favorite holiday (yes, Christmas does take the cake for me). Though it's an American holiday, I like to think that anyone from any nation can appreciate the thought of sharing a meal with family and friends and pausing to reflect on all we have to be thankful for. Here's my list:

What’s For Dinner? Why Planning Ahead is Important

Wed, 17 Nov 2010 13:37:14 +0000

Every Sunday, Michelle and I sit down to brainstorm what we'll be eating for the week ahead. From there, we come up with a shopping list for our weekly grocery shopping that afternoon as well as a menu which goes on the refrigerator. This may seem like overkill, but we've found that not having a menu planned out in advance can lead to lots of indecision when we get home from work:

I was at the PASS Summit

Fri, 12 Nov 2010 13:19:12 +0000

Alright, the title of this post is a big fat lie. I would have given my left join to experience the PASS Summit firsthand in Seattle, but it wasn't meant to be this year. Luckily thanks to the magic of teh internetz, I was able to feel like I was there. I'd like to thank two groups of people for making this possible:

First of all, a big thank you to everyone at PASS that was responsible for streaming the keynotes and women in tech lunch for everyone to see. I know it took a lot of people to make this happen: whoever decided streaming it was a good idea, those who set up the streaming from the IT side, the people who filmed it, etc.

SQLServerPedia Awards

Wed, 10 Nov 2010 13:29:23 +0000

In my previous post I asked for your votes in the SQLServerPedia Awards, and now I'm happy to say that I won the award in the internals category. I'm so honored – thank you to all who voted! Also thank you to SQLServerPedia for making it all possible and to editors Iain Kick (blog | twitter), Kevin Kline (blog | twitter), and Jeremiah Peschka (blog | twitter) for all their work in reviewing posts and making nominations.

I’m Bob Pusateri and I Approve This Message

Thu, 04 Nov 2010 13:23:37 +0000

If this were an actual campaign commercial (in the U.S. at least…) I would now proceed to not say anything about myself and simply bash other people with comments like:

So-and-so uses Microsoft Access and likes it

My Opponent sets their databases to auto-shrink

They somehow get their job done without ever leaving their house

The incumbent doesn't like to wear pants! What kind of example does this set for our children? They're simply TOO RADICAL for [Insert State Here].

I won't do any of that, but I will ask for your vote. I have been nominated for the first-ever SQLServerPedia.com awards, and I'm up against a lot of excellent candidates. I could really use your help!

T-SQL Tuesday #12: DBA Skills

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 12:49:42 +0000

This month's T-SQL Tuesday comes a week early so it doesn't conflict with the PASS Summit, which makes sense since many active bloggers will be in attendance. Sadly I won't be, but there's always next year! Paul Randal (blog | twitter) is hosting this time around, and the question he's asking is "Why are DBA skills necessary?" It didn't take me very long to come up with a lot of examples of when DBA skills have proven necessary, particularly in the form of situations where this was realized after the fact. Hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it? I'm sure we all have tales like this – here's just a few of mine:

The Bucket List

Tue, 26 Oct 2010 12:33:55 +0000

A while back, honorary SQL geek Sarah Sjolander (blog | twitter) posted her bucket list after watching the movie of the same name. I have yet to see that movie, but thought I'd share my own personal bucket list that (until now) resided only in my head. These items are listed in descending order of the possibility of them ever occurring. Enjoy!

Attend a Weird Al Yankovic concert – been wanting to get to one of Al's shows since I discovered his music in 4th grade

Go Skydiving – my mother will kill me

Visit Hoover Dam – and go on the most technical tour they offer!

Go Tornado Chasing – see entry on skydiving

Attend the PASS Summit

Speak at the PASS Summit

Visit the Sagrada Família – I'm an architecture nut like that

Author or co-author a book

Become a Microsoft Certified Master in SQL Server

Change a lightbulb on the top of one of the Sears Tower's antennae – heights don't bother me, and the view would be amazing!

So that's my bucket list. What's on yours?

UPDATEs That Really Aren’t

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 13:29:15 +0000

A long time ago I can remember wondering what happens when you try to update a value by setting it equal to itself – whether the database engine will actually carry out the update or just ignore it. At the time I didn't think much of it, but it popped into my head again last week and I decided to find out. I'm sure I'm not the first to try this, but after a few searches yielded nothing I decided to blog about it too! Here's what I came up with.

Book Review: Dr. Deming

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 12:49:47 +0000

This was the first non-database related book that I've read in a long time, and its full title is actually "Dr. Deming: The American Who Taught the Japanese About Quality". I was expecting to read about the life of W. Edwards Deming, but instead the book was more of a summary of his teachings and management methods. I was still glad I read it, as it takes an insightful look at the differences between the American and Japanese auto industries as well as management methods in general and how Deming's methods improved both in Japan.

Two Myths About ‘Lock Pages in Memory’

Tue, 12 Oct 2010 12:32:47 +0000
This Month’s T-SQL Tuesday topic comes from Sankar Reddy (twitter) and he’s asking for SQL Server myths and misconceptions to be de-bunked. I’ve got 2 myths I’d like to set the record straight about. They’re rather closely related, and concern the "Lock Pages in Memory" setting.
What’s it do?

Without getting into an entire lesson on how operating systems manage memory, I’ll try to shrink this down into about a 15 second blurb for benefit of those who might not already know. Every computer has a finite amount of memory (RAM). Regardless of how much memory you have, all of the processes running on your computer combined will probably allocate more memory than is physically available. Since not every process needs all it’s memory at any given second, operating systems employ a memory management scheme knowing as "paging", which means that inactive data stored in RAM will be written to disk in a file called the "page file". This typically happens unbeknownst to the application whose data has just been paged. When the application needs this data again, it is read back from the page file into memory and the process continues. The downside of all this, of course, is that reading and writing to/from disk takes time, and is slower than if the data had just stayed in memory to begin with.

Review: The Social Network

Wed, 06 Oct 2010 12:38:23 +0000

When I started this blog I had zero intention of reviewing movies. I wanted to stick to technical topics with perhaps a few book reviews in-between. That goal hasn’t changed, but after seeing “The Social Network” this past weekend I decided an exception would be appropriate. In my opinion, the SQL Server community gets a lot of its “community” feel from social networking. This is especially true for Twitter, but I’m Facebook friends with a lot of my database tweeps as well.

Savepoints: The Other Other White Meat

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 13:45:41 +0000

Most T-SQL guides and tutorials I've seen concentrate on the following transaction commands: BEGIN, COMMIT, and ROLLBACK, which I'll henceforth refer to as the "big three". While they're certainly very important, there's also a fourth command, SAVE, which is typically treated like a distant cousin who's only seen at family reunions every few years. It's a shame because while SAVE is not always necessary, it can be a huge help when you need it.

SQL Saturday #50 Wrap-up

Tue, 21 Sep 2010 13:01:49 +0000

I had the immense pleasure of speaking at SQL Saturday #50 in Iowa City this past weekend. To say it was an awesome time would be quite the understatement. Special thanks to Michelle Ufford (blog | twitter), Ed Leighton-Dick (twitter) and Jeff Belina (twitter) for all you did to make this event possible. Also a giant thank you to all of the sponsors who made this event financially possible.

To start at the very beginning, I made it to Iowa City in the early afternoon and had extra time to do a little exploring. Caving to my fetish for historic buildings and architecture, I checked out the Old Capitol building and a bit of the University of Iowa campus surrounding it. My inner engineer was further satisfied at the speaker's dinner later that evening, which was held at the Iowa River Power Company restaurant, a former hydroelectric power plant. In addition to an excellent view of the river and dam, I enjoyed some wonderful food and conversation! It was a great chance to catch up with familiar faces such as Wendy Pastrick (blog | twitter), Ted Krueger (blog | twitter), Jes Borland (blog | twitter) and Alex Kuznetsov (blog). I also got to meet Jason Strate (blog | twitter), Kathi Kellenberger (blog | twitter), Chris Leonard (twitter), Arie Jones (blog | twitter), Trenton Ivey (blog | twitter) and Louis Davidson (blog | twitter) in person for the first time.

Potty Chairs and Duplicate Indexes

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 12:55:19 +0000

This post is my contribution to T-SQL Tuesday #10, which is being hosted by Michael J. Swart (blog | twitter)

Each year my Boy Scout troop has a rummage sale as a fundraiser. All the scouts and their families gather up their old clothes, books, toys, electronics, and any other treasures they no longer need and donate them to the troop, which sells them. It's basically a giant garage sale, except it's done in the gym of the school we meet at. Since everything sold comes from someone associated with the troop, many years ago it was decided to create an award for the person that donates the ~~weirdest piece of crap~~ most unique item each year. This award comes in the form of a travelling trophy which started out as a child's potty chair that was painted gold. Each year, the winner is instructed to embellish the trophy with something new. Here's how it looks now!

A Look at the SQL Server Browser Service

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:42:14 +0000

Let's say you're starting off in a new environment (new job, department, client, whatever) and after being shown your workspace and meeting with your supervisor, you sit down to start figuring out their databases. You send an email requesting the name of the development database, and the reply you get is as follows:

DevDB1\Blah, 1436 (It's a named instance)

The backslash makes the fact that it's a named instance pretty evident, and you know that named instances all get their own ports, so you think there's not much to see here. You fire up SSMS and connect to DevDB1\Blah and can't connect. After some head scratching, you find that you can only connect when you specify DevDB1\Blah, 1436.

Speaking at SQLSaturday #50: East Iowa 2010

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:51:26 +0000

I feel extremely honored to have the chance to speak at SQLSaturday #50, which is taking place in Iowa City on September 18th. The organizers have put together a great schedule consisting of some amazing speakers and somehow I got on the list too!

I'll be giving a talk called "Application Coding Sins." As I've mentioned before, I was an application developer for about two years before I became a DBA, and still do development work on my own. In my previous job, I spent a bunch of time writing application code to access and update databases, and even more time re-writing abysmal code that was there long before me. I came across a lot of terrible ways to do things, and I look forward to sharing those experiences in hopes that others can prevent them from happening.

Four Reasons Not To Learn The Dvorak Keyboard

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 13:06:05 +0000

In my previous post I looked at 4 reasons to learn the Dvorak Simplified Keyboard (DSK). I'll now take a look at the other side and give you 4 reasons why you might not want to.

1. You're Already A Good Typist

If you're reading this, chances are pretty good you're a DBA, developer, consultant, or someone else who makes their living in front of a keyboard. Given that, chances are also pretty good that you're a solid typist, as you'd be getting work done very slowly using the hunt-and-peck method of typing. You're probably not the world's fastest, but your typing skills are more than adequate to do your job in a timely manner, right? Assuming all of the above is true, is it really necessary to learn the Dvorak keyboard? I can't imagine there will ever be a job that requires you to use one.

Four Reasons To Learn The Dvorak Keyboard

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 12:50:23 +0000

For quite a while now I've been intrigued by the Dvorak Simplified Keyboard (DSK). I was first introduced to it by my mentor at an internship during college, and after reading about how Dr. Dvorak's layout of the keys came to be, I thought it would be neat to learn given its advantages. After giving it more thought, there some disadvantages as well, and I'm torn to the point that I can't figure out what to do. In this and the following blog post, I'll take a look at both sides of the issue.

“Password” is a Dirty Word

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 13:10:06 +0000

Take a moment to think about the really important passwords you use – maybe for your computer at work, email, financial information, or even the 'sa' account on SQL Server. How many characters long are they? Are they really all that difficult? Are they:

Dictionary words?

Words with a few numbers or symbols substituted in place for letters?

Totally random combinations of letters, numbers, and symbols?

The last option is obviously the most secure choice, but it also happens to be the most difficult to remember. I’ve previously mentioned that I’m a big fan of KeePass, an open source password organizer/generator. It’s a great way to store all your passwords, and for my most sensitive information I have KeePass generate rather long passwords that are completely random. The pros and cons of this are that the passwords are extremely secure, but also nearly impossible to remember. Without an installed copy of KeePass handy, I can’t log in to those accounts from anywhere other than my home computer. I don’t see that as a problem for things like bank websites, as I can’t imagine the need to access them from anywhere other than home anyway. For other accounts, though, it might present more of an issue.

T-SQL Tuesday #009: Beach Time!

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 12:39:14 +0000

This month's T-SQL Tuesday is brought to us by Jason Brimhall (Blog | Twitter) and he's asking what we do to prepare for some time off. Databases don’t take any time off, and in my experience DBAs rarely do either. We do earn our vacation like every other employee though, and every once in a while we might even be allowed to use some of it! When I’m getting ready to go on a vacation, I take 2 simple steps to help ensure that things stay “business as usual” while I’m out of the office:

Three Events That Brought Me Here

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 13:19:11 +0000

Back in January, Paul Randal (Blog | Twitter) started a wonderful blog meme that asked you to write about 3 events in your life that brought you to where you are today. I had the pleasure of reading many excellent posts written by people that I really look up to. I wanted to participate, but I didn’t have a blog back then. I’m 7 months late to the party (the story of my life!) and I’ll warn you that I don’t think my tale is nearly as inspiring as others that I've read, but I thought I’d share anyway.

Speaking At Chicago Suburban PASS This Week

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 12:36:29 +0000

Tomorrow night I'll have the pleasure of speaking at the August 2010 Chicago Suburban SQL Server User Group meeting. Here's the details:

WHERE: Microsoft Offices – 3025 Highland Parkway Suite 300, Downers Grove, IL

WHEN: Tuesday, August 3, 2010. 6:00 – 9:00 pm

I'll be giving my presentation entitled "Backups and Restores In Depth". I'll discuss some of the finer points of backups, restores, and how they work. I'll also cover the three recovery models in detail and add some best practices along the way.

Review: Picasa Web Albums

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:32:09 +0000

Note

Picasa Web Albums no longer exists, as that offering has been replaced by Google Photos. I'm leaving this post up for posterity and to show what Picasa Web Albums were like, as well as my opinion of them at that time.

This is the fourth post in my series on cloud backup solutions. Previous posts were:

Disaster Recovery Strategies for the Home

A review of MozyHome Remote Backup

A review of Jungle Disk

Today's topic is Google's Picasa Web Albums, henceforth known as PWA. Unlike the other solutions I've covered, PWA is not explicitly intended to be a backup solution. It's designed as a platform for sharing your photos and videos with others, however it also does an excellent job of storing them in the cloud and letting you retrieve them with ease. I've been using it as a form of backup for about a year now, and after browsing the "help" section I see that Google has included notes on how to use PWA as a backup as well.

Six Tips For Avoiding Bad Table and Column Names

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:04:49 +0000

Do you like it when your schemata are easy to understand and maintain? If so, keep the following in mind when choosing names for tables and columns. If you're feeling evil and want to inflict some frustration on others, this might give you some good ideas too…

1. Data types make horrible names

There's no rule that says you can't name a column after a datatype – it will just be awfully confusing. The following code works perfectly:

Review: Jungle Disk

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:06:29 +0000

Note

Jungle Disk no longer exists, and is now known as Cyber Fortress. I'm leaving this post up for posterity and to show what Jungle Disk was like, as well as my opinion of it at that time.

This is the third post in my series on cloud backup solutions. Previous posts were:

Disaster Recovery Strategies for the Home

A review of MozyHome Remote Backup

Today I'll be talking about another cloud backup application called Jungle Disk. I've been experimenting with it for a few months and am generally very happy with it. Much like Mozy, Jungle Disk allows you to intelligently backup your files into the cloud. On the contrary, Jungle Disk only provides the client application for running backups, the actual storage of the backups is separate, which I'll explain in more detail shortly.

Switching Between Recovery Models

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:06:49 +0000

I've seen many articles and blog posts concerning what to do when you have to switch between SQL Server Recovery Models. A lot of these tips are very important, as they can mean the difference between being able to recover your data and the much less desirable opposite.

After a lot of web searches on the subject I came to realize there's much material for individual cases, but no real "one stop shop" for what to do when switching between any given recovery model. Thus, my recovery model chart was born. Since a diagram is worth almost as many words as a picture, I'll show it to you and explain a little bit afterwards:

Hosting Your Images With Amazon S3

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 12:45:09 +0000

Images make just about everything more interesting, which is why I do my best to include at least one with each blog post even if for nothing more than comic relief.

I run a few different websites, and a while ago I decided to host the images for all of them in the cloud using Amazon S3 (Simple Storage Service). I've been a very satisfied customer since then. Not only is it incredibly easy to use, it's also rather simple to "mask" it so your images look like they're coming from somewhere else. If you look at the properties of any image on this page, you'll see that it's coming from "img.bobpusateri.com". In reality, it's coming from S3 thanks to the magic of DNS aliasing. In this post I'll show you how to do that.

T-SQL Tuesday #008: Gettin’ Schooled

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 12:45:44 +0000

AIN'T YOU GOT NO BOOKLEARNIN'? This, the eighth T-SQL Tuesday is hosted by the SQL Soldier, Robert Davis (Blog | Twitter) and he's asking how we learn and how we teach.

How I Learned

Throughout my school years I seem to have been assigned a disproportionate number of "old-school" teachers who could be extremely harsh, often utilizing the "tough love" form of teaching. Some examples:

My third grade teacher's common form of punishment was making the student copy a page selected at random from the dictionary. The entire page, including any illustrations and pronunciations. Students who mouthed-off to here would get slapped across the face with a yardstick. She'd also give spankings for your birthday (1 per year of age). My class was her last, as she retired that year.

In 7th grade our "Language Arts" (they didn't call it "English" then) teacher would utter the phrase I opened this post with if you didn't use proper grammar in class. She'd then make you write a page on what you did wrong and how to avoid it in the future, which you would present to the class the next day.

My 8th grade history teacher was infamous for her outbursts. If the class wasn't paying attention, she'd do something outrageous to make sure they did. The year I had her she not only put her arm through an overhead projector but also shattered a chalkboard by throwing a misbehaving student's desk into it.

My high school calculus teacher (I had him for 2 years) started off each year with a statement that "one of us is the stupidest person in this room – let's not reveal who we are to the rest of the class." He was notorious for his quizzes that left us hopelessly stumped despite having been taught the material only minutes before, and he'd single you out in class for doing poorly and make you do problems on the board in front of everyone else.

All that being said, I learned an amazing amount from these teachers and wouldn't trade my experiences for anything. I don't believe the newer teaching methods designed to make everyone feel special are nearly as effective as the ones that motivated out of fear of embarrassment.

Elevator Etiquette

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 12:50:42 +0000

And now for something completely different. I realize there's probably been countless thoughts, blog posts and jokes on the subject of elevator etiquette, but I think mine's a little different as it concerns whether or not using the elevator is polite in certain situations. Allow me to explain:

In college I spent the better part of my years living in the residence halls. The particular complex I was in consisted of 2 connected buildings. The building for guys had 5 floors, while the girls had 12. The elevators were incredibly slow, to the point where it was usually faster to take the stairs. Having only 5 floors and being young and full of energy, most guys did indeed opt to hoof it. (Full disclosure: I lived on the first floor, but I had friends all over the building.)

Review: MozyHome Remote Backup

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 13:14:27 +0000

Note

MozyHome no longer exists. I'm leaving this post up for posterity and to show what it was like, as well as my opinion of it at that time.

In a previous post, I talked about disaster recovery strategies for the home and promised reviews on the services I use. Today I'll take a look at Mozy.

I've been a satisfied Mozy customer since March of 2007. I've yet to have a bad experience with it, and as I write this I currently have about 45GB of my stuff stored with them.

Optimizing for Ad hoc Workloads

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 17:35:31 +0000

One of the nifty features available in SQL Server 2008 is the "Optimize for Ad hoc Workloads" option, which is at the instance level. If your workload involves a high number of ad hoc queries that are used only once, your plan cache (also known as the "procedure cache") may benefit from enabling this feature. (There are, of course, other solutions to this issue as well, a primary one being to use less ad-hoc SQL and more stored procedures, but that may not always be possible.)

Disaster Recovery Strategies for the Home

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:53:48 +0000

A key function of a DBA is to plan, test, and implement disaster recovery policies for the databases they maintain. DBAs lacking these skills may also find themselves lacking a job if they are unable to recover data when necessary. For all these skills we apply in the workplace, I have still heard via Twitter a few tales of woe regarding lost data in the home.

Having a disaster recovery strategy for your personal data is every bit as important as having one at work – maybe even more so because your precious memories are at stake. I don't have any fancy statistics to show how many people lose important personal data every year (67.2% of all statistics are made up on the spot anyway) but I'll venture to guess that if you're reading this blog, you probably have a digital camera and hence have photos and perhaps videos and music on your computer as well. What happens to all of that when your hard drive fails?

Transactions: Taking The Plunge

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 12:44:15 +0000

A few days ago Tim Ford (blog | twitter) put forth a challenge to describe a transaction in a non-technical fashion. I could have replied to the post directly, but I figured it would be rather wordy. Instead I decided to follow the lead of Janice Lee (blog | twitter) and write a post about it, providing Tim with a neat and tidy hyperlink instead.

One thought I had is that committing a transaction is like jumping off a diving board.

More Than An Output

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:44:58 +0000

No more than an output to me, but it sure was to SQL Server! This issue kept me busy over the weekend, and most definitely gave me a case of Saturday Night SQL Fever (as opposed to "SQL Saturday Night Fever", for which the only cure is more karaoke).

When executing a stored procedure with an OUTPUT parameter, I always believed that the pre-execution state of a variable being written to by the output parameter didn’t matter, as it would be overwritten. A quick poll on Twitter showed me that I’m not alone, however I recently discovered this isn’t always the case.

Why My Newest Laptop Is A Mac

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 13:10:22 +0000

I've never been a fan of Apple. Despite making a living off SQL Server, I don't consider myself to be a Windows fanboy by any stretch of the imagination either, but I never imagined that I would buy a Mac.

One of the easiest arguing points back in the day was the availability of software. Games on a mac? There was that sliding apple puzzle thing, that's about it. (Ok, there were more than that, but if I couldn't play Doom II on it I wasn't interested!) Then they switched to Intel processors and OSX got better and better. The software reason disappeared, and Mac hardware seemed every bit as capable as any PC I could buy or build, but it was still way more expensive than comparable PC hardware. I also couldn't stand the condescending attitude that Apple was breeding. Those "I'm a PC, I'm a Mac" commercials really irked me. For what little it's worth to me, the hardware was starting to look really good, but aesthetics are pretty low on the list of things I'd consider while buying a computer.

T-SQL Tuesday #007: My Favorite 2008 Feature

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 00:00:42 +0000

This post is my contribution to T-SQL Tuesday #007, hosted this month by the SQLChicken himself, Jorge Segarra (Blog | Twitter).

Since I'm a bad DBA and have yet to get my hands on a copy of R2, I'll make use of the rule that we can discuss any feature from 2008. My favorite is filtered indexes, as they were the solution to an issue I had been trying to fix for 5 years.

Tips for Upgrading SQL Server Versions

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:45:31 +0000

At my previous employer I took part in several projects that involved migrating databases not only to new hardware but also to new versions of SQL Server. We upgraded machines running the 2000 and 2005 versions of SQL Server to 2008. Here's how we went about doing it, and some helpful hints we figured out along the way.

Disclaimers

I'm fully aware there are lots of ways to migrate hardware and data between machines and database versions, I'll just be talking about the way we did it. We were fortunate enough to not have to worry about downtime, as this was carried out during scheduled maintenance windows and at other times when bringing affected products out of service was deemed acceptable.

Redundancy and College Marching Band

Thu, 27 May 2010 13:32:18 +0000

Every once in a while I hope to use this blog to investigate the lighter side of database/computing topics. After all, redundancy can (and should!) exist in many more places than corporate network architectures. One of the places you may be surprised to hear about redundancy is college marching bands, which I feel more than qualified to talk about.

That's right folks, I'm a bando and proud of it. I played clarinet from 4th grade all the way through college, and was part of a marching band for 9 years. Yes, I did go to band camp, had some great times there too, but I'm sorry to tell you that it's not exactly like American Pie would have you believe.

Seven Free Applications You Should Try

Tue, 25 May 2010 14:07:05 +0000

I think all of us who sit in front of a computer for a living have a few free programs that we're particularly fond of. Here's what I'm liking as of late.

Notepad++

My favorite general-purpose text editor. Along with pretty much anything else, I find myself writing a lot of T-SQL code in here and then copying/pasting into SSMS. My favorite features include column editing mode, double-click searches, and a wide variety of plugins. Supports syntax highlighting for a ton of languages out of the box, but extensions are available that allow it to handle even more. I used to use another text editor which seemed ultra expensive for what it did. Notepad++ does everything I need for free.

Book Review: Microsoft Official Academic Course 70-443 / 70-450

Fri, 21 May 2010 19:36:28 +0000

When preparing to take certification exams, I always purchase test preparation materials no matter how ready I feel that I am. I do this for two reasons:

There's no such thing as being too prepared (being a Boy Scout taught me this many times over)

I can be sure of what topics will be covered

As I was getting ready to take the 70-450 exam (MCITP: SQL Server 2008 Administration) I couldn't find any official training kits available for that test. Even as I type this 4 months later I still see none when searching for "70-450" on amazon.com. Figuring that something was better than nothing, I purchased the Microsoft Official Academic Course booklet. This booklet covers not just the 70-450 exam but also 70-443, the equivalent for SQL Server 2005.

The Chicken

Wed, 19 May 2010 17:40:05 +0000

A little over a week ago, Wendy Pastrick (blog | twitter) had a blog post, Attack of the Killer Maintenance Plan, where she crafts a horror story from her experience checking out some maintenance plans designed by a former employee.

After reading this, I was inspired to come up with my own tale, blended with classic American Literature. The irony here is that I hated (and hence did terrible in) all my english and literature classes throughout school. This was especially true for Mr. Miller's 10th grade American Lit class, where I believe my final grade was a "C-". Thankfully, he'll probably never find my blog. Without any further ado, and with my profound apologies to Edgar Allen Poe, I present to you:

Five Things SQL Server Needs To Drop

Thu, 13 May 2010 12:40:52 +0000

While I wasn't explicitly tagged for participation in this meme, Wendy Pastrick (blog | twitter) was kind enough to tag everyone else who hasn't been tagged already. Being in need of a first topic for a blog post, this seemed like a good one to start with!

Since a lot of things have already been spoken for, here's 3 things I particularly hate accompanied by 2 favorites from others. If someone else has already mentioned my 3, my apologies for apparently not reading your blog!