The Parsonage Family

WMW: The Voice Recorder

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Thu, 16 May 2013 03:11:00 +0000

I decided in college that I was an aural learner—that is, that I learned best from listening. I preferred hearing it in a lecture to reading it from a book. Maybe it was the note-taking I enjoyed most. Anyway, for certain
classes I developed a habit before tests of reading my notes aloud to a tape recorder (remember those things?) then listening to myself read the notes aloud while driving in my car or getting ready in my room.

I got to relive that aural, multitasking fun a couple weeks ago for work. It's an editorial consulting-type gig, for which I listened to about twelve hours of a woman dictating the story of her past few years, and brainstorming the angle and organization she should take in writing her memoir.

I have to say, those twelve hours (of paying work!) were awesome, because I could multitask. I did things I always want to do but don't because I'm usually staring at my computer! I took a long walk. I ate lunch on the back porch. I worked while driving to pick the kids up. I scrubbed the baseboards in our kitchen!

It was great. And now that it's over, and I need to type up a proposal for this lovely would-be memoir-writer (and do all my other computer-based work) I'm kinda bummed. And I keep trying to think of ways to incorporate more of this paid-listening activity into my work. I'm coming up empty, though.

I could edit spoken sermons, rather than written ones...? That's kind of what I do when I give feedback on Matt's sermons... Any ideas?

Show and Tell: MY Party

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Mon, 06 May 2013 23:26:00 +0000

It's no secret I love planning parties. So the whole "have your kid's party here it's so easy" thing does not appeal to me. When Kate says "I want my party at Chuck E Cheese," I think "Noooo! I want to plan a cute, crafty party at home with a fun theme!"

Months before her fourth birthday, Kate was clear that she really wanted to have her party at Monkey Joe's, a kids' activity venue with lots of inflatables, or as we call it in our house, a "bouncy place." I honestly can only think of one third, fourth, or fifth birthday party we've been to recently that hasn't been at a bouncy place. It's just THE thing for the preschool set, apparently. So even though I would have loved to throw her a "Winter Wonderland" party or something else lovely, Matt reminded me (and I reluctantly agreed) that it was HER party and (within reason, of course) it should be what she wants.

So I designed invitations and ordered a cake and bought favors that worked with Monkey Joe's' colors and reflected Kate's activities and style (I just had to!) and Kate really enjoyed her party. For the record, it was kind of nice to go the "easy" route and have someone else run the show for you. (Though with the price, I'll definitely limit "outside-the-home" parties to once every few years!)

I'm not sure if Matt actually got all parental on me and said, "When it's YOUR birthday, you can have the kind of party YOU want," but that thought came to mind somehow, and I decided I would have a party for my birthday, with the theme and food and decor that I want.

So, my 32nd birthday is less than two months away now, and I've been brainstorming a little outdoor, evening soiree (can you still call it a soiree if kids are invited?). I'm picturing hors d'ouevres and wine in the backyard, with lights strung around the patio umbrella and kids playing on the swingset while the grownups chat till the lightening bugs come out. I've got a Pinterest board going, aptly entitled "MY Party."

If we're friends IRL and you live in the Nashville area, I hope you'll be there!

In other news, I'm now having a little moment over writing the words "my 32nd birthday" above. I'm okay with getting older, but I still have these moments when I think "when did I become a grown up?"

The moment I started planning "soirees" instead of parties, I guess.

Like Pulling Teeth

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Fri, 03 May 2013 02:46:00 +0000

We're having family pictures taken tomorrow (by my former Abingdon colleague Ashley Miller—check her out). I've planned our outfits and some free-for-all time for the girls with a basket of dress-up stuff, but I still have some anxiety because kids are unpredictable and don't always want to cooperate with picture-taking. even if they do cooperate, it's hard to get a picture where multiple children are all smiling (or at least not caught mid-blink).

Ok, I'll be honest. It's mainly Kate I worry about. Let's not forget last year's display of contrarianism:

Oh, she can work it when she wants to.

Age 2 1/2

Really work it.

Age 3

Age 5 mos.

But when she doesn't want to, it can be tough. Just last weekend, in Louisville, I tried to get a pic of my girls together on the playground. Here's how that went:

No, I don't want to take a picture with Claire.

I said noooo.

Ok, fine.

Hug Claire? Ok, I can do that...

SQUEEEEEEZE!

That's sister love, right there. We'll see what kind of love we see tomorrow!

Claire at 18 months

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Thu, 02 May 2013 03:28:00 +0000

So Claire is 18 months today! I'm excited to celebrate her, bloggy-style, but it's late in the evening and I'm kind of tired, partially because dear Clairy-Bear is still waking once at night and then rising early. Usually it's 2:00 and then up for good at 5:30 (though I often lay back down and nurse her in bed), but I was thrilled that this morning it was 4:30 and then 6:15! I'll stop complaining, though. I got to sleep until 9:30 one morning at my parents' house last weekend, since we had grandparental reinforcements around, and it was fabulous.

As to the facts beyond her sleep schedule, I don't know her weight since we haven't been to the doctor yet, but her height when we did her growth chart this morning (we do it on birthdays and half birthdays) was 30 2/3 inches. She's about to outgrow her size 3 diapers, wears size 4 shoes, and is true-to-size in clothes, shifting now from 12-18 mos. to 18 and 18-24 mos. clothes. Her hair is straight and wispy, so I usually do it in one or two ponytails.

Stuff Claire likes: bananas, coloring, walking around in other people's shoes, showing off her teeth and her tummy ("ummy"), cell phones and remotes, playgrounds, Llama Llama books, and—oh yeah—NURSING.

I've been wrestling for a few months over when to cut her off on the daytime/public nursing. I don't mind bedtime and during the night (I mind getting up in the night, but not because of the nursing!) but so often she wants to nurse not out of hunger but just fun or comfort. We call me the "human pacifier" because she uses me for quick doses of comfort like Kate did her beloved paci. She nurses to have fun with me too, I think, because she's started biting me gently with a big grin, and laughing. I say "no bite" and take her off, which makes her mad. She just loves to nurse, and her most used and enthusiastic word these days is "Nur! Nur!" while pulling at my shirt. ("Milk," to Claire, means any drink in a sippy or other container.)

Claire also loves her big sis, and says "Sister" and "Kate" a lot. She'll yell to Kate across the gym while we're watching from the viewing area at gymnastics. Likewise, Kate will hug and kiss Claire and say things like "I'm so proud of you!" so the encouragement goes both ways. Kate also calls her "Sweetie" and "my little teddy bear." And while it's largely a stalling tactic for bedtime, Kate will come into Claire's room while I'm nursing her to sleep to smother her with kisses and say, "sleep tight, my little sweetie! sweet dreams!" As an only child, it just melts my heart every time they interact so sweetly.

Stuff Claire doesn't like: when I won't nurse her the second she wants it, when I take away something she wants to play with (remotes, phones, markers, and my lipstick are common ones), whenever I can't hold her and she wants to be picked up . . . and that's about it! She doesn't seem to like green veggies these days, but is still generally a pretty good eater. She's even relatively tolerant of Kate's hugs that are like wrestling moves, tickling that is like clawing, and cuddles that are like choke holds.

She uses her "No!" quite emphatically these days, and is showing teeny glimmers of the "terrible twos" to come. She'll refuse a certain food offered to her, or the suggestion of an activity, and sometimes has fits of inconsolability, when even offers of things she loves are met with "Noooo!" and a fierce shaking of the head. It's tough to have strong opinions when no one knows what you want!

It's funny how, when Kate was 18 months (and every other age) she seemed so big, but Claire still seems like my baby and I'm shocked when she can do things like climb a playground ladder that Kate did at that age or younger. It's the curse of the younger child, who always seems little no matter what they do. I think back on Kate at two or 2 1/2 and how it seemed like she could speak so clearly and looked so old, and then I watch a video of her at that age and she's so little! Claire's growing by leaps and bounds, but will always be my little baby . . . until we have a third child or a foster child younger than she, and then she'll seem big! It's all relative.

At the Old Ball Game

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Wed, 01 May 2013 02:52:00 +0000

We went up to Louisville last weekend to see my parents. The main event of the visit was going to a Louisville Riverbats game with some long-time family friends—the kids' first baseball game and a fun gathering of three generations of friends. I was in utero when my mom met a new friend and her little red-headed toddler daughter, who would become my best friend in late elementary/middle school. It means so much that Lindsay and I can reconnect whenever I'm in Louisville and our kiddos are all getting to know each other.

Jack and Kate get along famously, and I'd be lying if I denied that the words "rehearsal dinner slide show" go through my head whenever I take pictures of these kids together.

Popi and the kids watched the game while most of the rest of us chatted and tried to keep toddlers from eating popcorn off the cement floor.

Said toddlers weren't quite to the age they could play together, exactly. They're only six months apart in age, but it's a big six months, socially! Claire didn't quite reciprocate Emmalea's efforts to hold hands. (I may elaborate on this in Claire's 18 month post tomorrow, but I keep remembering Kate at two and how much development happens between 18 and 24 months!)

Claire was intrigued by the girls in the next box, though! She and Emmalea both tried to climb over the wall to see what was going on over there!

There's a nice carousel and two playgrounds at Louisville's ball park (it's a great one—relatively new and much nicer than either Nashville's or Louisville's older one, where my parents and I frequently went to see the Redbirds play when I was a kid). I had one of my guilty "just enjoy the moment" impulses and didn't take the camera down to the play area, and Lindsay and I were both kicking ourselves; the dads and kids were so cute riding around together on the carousel!

The evening ended with fireworks after the game, and though threatening rain meant the kids didn't get to run the bases after it was over, we still all had a great time. We asked Kate what her favorite part of the game was, and she said, "seeing Jack." :0)

It's always fun going to see Nala and Popi, and reconnecting with one of my favorite cities and some of my favorite people in the world!

WMW: Lists and Time-Tracking

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 19:14:00 +0000

A friend recently asked me for tips on getting better organized at work. I don't have a lot of super-fancy tricks or tips—my main thing is just being a compulsive list-maker. I have a master checklist for my work to-dos each week, with sub-checkboxes if there are numerous parts under one main task. For example, editing a book, I might make a sub-list of all the chapters, so that I can mark them off as I go. (That's part organization and part motivation—checking off a to-do is a proven endorphin boost, so the more small tasks you can get on that list, the more frequently you get to check one off! I'm like a productivity junkie.)

One "fancier" tool I did tell my friend about, however, was Yast.com, an online time tracker. It has become absolutely essential to my work life. I heard about it in the fall in a Forbes article listing several "must-try" online organizational tools. I tried a couple of them, but Yast is the only one I've found to be a must-use.

I actually started using it when I was full-time at my old job, just to track how long I was spending on certain tasks each day (a very educational exercise, I must say). And now that I'm a freelancer, billing some jobs by the hour, it is even more important to know how long I spend on each job.

You add your projects, grouped under higher categories if you desire, and give a color code to each one. I pixelated the names of my projects above, but you can see the two main categories, "UMPH Work" (my long-time employer for which I still do a good bit of work) and "Other Paid Work." Below that, I also have a "Personal" category for things like blogging, VBS-planning, etc.

To start the time on a certain project, you just click the blue arrow, and it starts running with that project's color on the timeline at the top and showing you the time next to the orange square on the line. On the above screen cap, for example, I'd been working for 24 minutes on my "orange" job. At the end of the line, you can see the day's total for that job (2 hrs, 20 min) and the week's total (6 hours, 40 min).

It's nice to know, at the end of the day or week, how long you've worked and on what. Yast tracks your time by the day and the week, and you can view reports of any time period (SO useful when turning in a time sheet or invoice!)

Whether you're tracking paid work by the client or project, or just want to know how long you're spending each day on various parts of your job or various other activities like email and blogging, I really recommend this tool.

Pastor's Wives Uncensored

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 21:03:00 +0000

My friend Kim invited me to participate in her blog series, Pastor's Wives Uncensored. I confess my previous status as a "disgruntled" pastor's wife, and also explain some of my recovery from that cynicism.

Here's a little teaser:

Unlike Kim, I wasn’t turned off at all by the idea of dating a pastor/pastor-to-be. Matt was working in youth ministry when we met on our first night of orientation at Vanderbilt Divinity School. Being a religion major in college, and going on to study religion in grad school, I already had a notion of hoping to marry a man preparing to be either a pastor or professor. My parents told me to hang out next door at the Law School, but I liked spiritual, scholarly types, and knew there was a good chance of getting my MRS at the same place I was getting my MTS (Master of Theological Studies).

Go read the rest on Kim's blog, The Seeds You Sow.

Backyard Weather

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 11:58:00 +0000

It's a little chillier today, but hopefully this weekend will be nice enough for a repeat of the backyard fun we've had the last couple weekends, with the girls playing on their awesome, relatively-new (it was completed last fall just as the weather was turning colder!) swingset, while Matt and I fix up the yard and patio. Summer will be here before we know it!

WMW: Home Office

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 03:03:00 +0000

I got my new Thirty-One organizer hung up, so I thought it might be about time to share my lovely little home office, where most of my WAHMing takes place. (Does that make this a Working Mom Wednesday or Show and Tell? Both, I guess!)

One of the neat things about our house is the little room off of our master bedroom with glass French doors. It makes a great office and craft room, and would make a great nursery as well, if you wanted to keep a baby close for the first year or two. From the time we moved in, it housed an old desk that was my grandfather's. It had been used in a war office during WWII, and he bought it cheap after the war. It's a typewriter desk, with a platform that raises and lowers to hide the typewriter away inside when you're not using it. (My uncle has the typewriter from it.)

So between the desk, Matt's green banker's lamp, my plant and framed degrees, my office has a nice, homey feel. My new organizer helps me get papers, folders, and my ubiquitous legal pads off the floor (since the desk doesn't have a lot of spare surface space). I hung a legal pad over the calendar strap, stuck my file folders in the clear pocket, book catalogs in another pocket, and put some pictures on display. I wrote a favorite quote on the wipe-off board, a line from a Dixie Chicks' song: "If there's ever an answer, it's more love." I really feel like that's a good rule of thumb when you are stuck in any way. (What to do? Well, what's the more loving response?)

The printer just sits on an afghan-covered box, and Matt's old CD tower is getting more use than it has in years, just supporting the stack of review copies I put on top of it. And for a window treatment, I used a string of Tibetan prayer flags our brother and sister-in-law brought us from Mt. Everest.

Then there's my amazing craft area, which my in-laws created for me as a birthday present last year. I previously just had a rolling kitchen cart, but they got a cabinet to sit a yard or so from the cart and a tabletop to lay across them both, more than tripling my work space. My mother-in-law made the skirt that velcros around the table, hiding the storage cart and cabinet underneath. (The space between is the secret spot I stash gifts as I buy them throughout the year.) On Friday afternoons, when I finish work for the week, I close down the computer and move just two feet to my left to do some scrapbooking before the brood comes home!

The side of the room I'm not showing you has all my gift-wrapping supplies, several cheap bookcases full of books and random stuff. In every home we have, there is a room that never fully gets unpacked, where boxes sit for years. In this house, the office was it, though I cleaned most of that up and out when I went freelance and it became my main office, but the bookcases still have a lot of college memorabilia and other stuff we've had since our single days.

Where do you stash all your old junk? Where do you do your work, crafts, or other computering?

What A Week

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 03:44:00 +0000

I meant to write this post yesterday morning, and I wish I had, since it seems silly to write about a hard week in the aftermath of a major tragedy. We have life and limb, and all is well, but last week was nonetheless an experience.

Our teenage guest is wonderful. She is a very sweet girl, and has been great with our girls. Her school is almost twenty miles away from us, so that's a haul twice a day that is sometimes inconvenient, but what really made the week crazy was all the illness.

Monday started out nice and normal as we got our bearings with three young people in the house, but Kate got sent home early from school with a fever, requiring more driving and waiting around than intended, and then Claire had a fever that evening as well. So, we had to keep them both home the next day, and intended to go to the doctor, but then, the next day, neither of them had fevers or seemed sick at all! Matt and I traded off half days so that each of us could get stuff done while our two non-sick monkeys had a "sick day." I did the morning at home, and then went out in the afternoon for lunch with a friend, errands, work, and to pick up Theresa, then dropping her at home and picking up Kate, who was more than well enough to go to gymnastics. I was exhausted by the time we returned home.

Wednesday was pretty normal until a mix-up at pick up time for Theresa, then church, and by the end of Bible study, Kate was complaining of a massive earache. She was wailing the whole way home and went immediately to bed. Claire had a fever again that night, so we knew they needed to go to the doctor the next day.

But then I woke up sick as a dog with a 102.6 fever. The kids felt fine (of course!) and Matt had something he couldn't miss, so we had to call in the reinforcements: Granna and Opa. I went to the clinic and learned it was the flu. I got my meds and spent the rest of the day in bed. Opa went to pick up Theresa while Granna took our girls to meet Daddy at the pediatrician to find they both had ear infections. Daddy spent way longer than he needed to getting the girls' meds, and then after a quick dinner, our whole bio fam was back in bed by 8:00.

Friday, I felt somewhat better after 24 hours in bed, and sent everyone off to school with Matt. Then Claire threw up and he brought her back home. It was just motion sickness, and she was fine for the rest of the day. I, on the other hand, did a little work, but started getting major anxiety over all the kids in our care and the work I was behind on, due to illness.

Saturday, I was a little more better, but Matt started getting sick. At that point, I was definitely about to have a nervous breakdown, not wanting to call on Granna and Opa again, but wondering how a sick Mommy and Daddy with non-sick, rambunctious kids were supposed to get our writing done for a joint deadline we had on Monday! (Didn't I mention that!?!)

Well, we managed to feel well enough and care for our kids and write this manuscript and do church Sunday night and crashed Sunday night praying pleaseohplease let no one be sick this week!

So far, so good.

FYI, Theresa may be with us for another few weeks, but now that I'm not sicker than I've been in years, that seems okay. It's amazing how, when you're sick and anxious, everything seems so dire. Friday night, I was flipping out that Theresa would be with us for two years (she's sweet, but still...), a misbehaving Kate would become an out-of-control teen (that could still happen), and that I would miss deadlines I have in June (the Monday one was a possibility, but we did it!)

I had to remind myself not to take any thought seriously that I have when sick and anxious. That's good advice.

Wordless Wednesday: Bedtime Gymnastics

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 03:49:00 +0000

Weekend from Scratch

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 12:10:00 +0000

from scratch

(idiomatic) From the beginning; starting with no advantage or prior preparation.
There were so many errors in the program that the programmer decided to rewrite it from scratch.
When the writer finished writing his book, it was stolen and now he has to rewrite it from scratch.
He had no money and no rich friends, so he had to build his business from scratch.
[quotations ▼]
(idiomatic) From basic materials or raw ingredients.
She said she wanted to build a new house from scratch.
He was out of pancake mix so he had to make the batter from scratch.

We did several things "from scratch" this weekend, mostly akin to that last sample sentence.

Saturday morning, I wanted to make a nice, big breakfast, only to discover we were out of pancake mix. So I googled it (so much for the nine cookbooks in my cupboard) and found a recipe to guide me in making pancakes from scratch. They turned out okay. A little doughy in the middle. Probably my fault. But I did make them in the shapes of my diners' first initials, and a bunny rabbit, and a purse (which started as a mediocre bunny and Kate instructed me to connect the ears with a line of batter).

Sunday morning, we began a rare and joyous day off for my husband. Matt hardly ever takes a Sunday off, and if he does, it's because he or we all are going out of town. So a Sunday off at home is extremely rare. I have an intense fascination with "how the other half lives," i.e. the people who don't go to church on Sundays, or at least don't have to be there for seven or eight hours of the day. So before heading off to worship together as a family at the delightfully late hour of 11:00am, Matt decided he wanted to make muffins for our family breakfast. We had no muffin mix, so the googling began again, and Matt ended up making us some wonderful mixed berry muffins. Because we had frozen berries instead of fresh, their juice dyed the batter purple, so they are quite interesting looking, but very tasty.

The third thing we did from scratch—more akin to the first definition above, "starting with no advantage or prior preparation"—was start caring for a teenager. We got a call Friday night around 9:30, asking if we could take a 16-year-old girl. Because of our bio kids' ages, our social worker advised we not take teenagers (especially boys or kids who've been sexually abused, neither of which applied here), so Matt and I took a few minutes to talk it over before calling the placement worker back. We were both inclined to say yes, but nervous.

I was mainly anxious about how to relate to a teenager. I know how to connect with little kids, but I could barely connect with other teenagers when I was one. I told Matt it felt like someone who had never had kids suddenly getting a toddler—she didn't get to ease into it, getting the hang of things, etc.—only in this case, the child would be judging me if I screwed up in some way! Matt was more anxious about the logistics of getting the girl to school each morning, which would involve leaving the house with our girls and our guest, at 6:00am. (High schools start insanely early. The school day is 7:05 to 2:05. That is ridiculous.)

So this girl, "Theresa," we'll call her, arrived on our doorstep at around 11:00 Friday night, and more or less went straight to bed. Saturday, she met our girls over our made-from-scratch pancakes, and our first impressions from the night before were confirmed, that she is a very sweet girl, kind of shy, sad and anxious about being removed from her home, of course. After going out to get her some things that her sister didn't remember to pack for her, we started our Saturday plans of working on various yard projects while the kids played on the swingset. It was then we discovered just how boring our house is for a teenager. She's spent some time on Facebook, watched some TV, and played with Kate and Claire. She's very good with the girls, reading a lot to Kate, and holding Claire. They both enjoy interacting with her.

I still struggle with what to talk to her about, especially since she's very quiet, but we're doing okay. Matt and his car full of girls got away at 6:05, so we're doing well on that front! In a way, having a teenager is easier than having another toddler, like we did with Faith. To the kids, it's more like having a grown up guest than another child in the house, and she's a lot more low-maintenance than a toddler! But, it's tough in different ways, mainly emotional. Whereas Faith didn't really know what was going on and attached quickly to me, Theresa is understandably shaken and sad. We go to court on Thursday and hopefully she will be able to go live with her older sister at that time.

Show and Tell: T for Tiger

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:00:00 +0000

I had something else in mind for this week's Show and Tell, and then I learned last night that Kate's class is doing Show and Tell for the first time today! How appropriate!

Kate knows all her letters already, but her class focuses on a letter every week to practice writing, talking about things that start with that letter, etc. So it makes perfect sense to add a Show and Tell component—bring in anything that starts with that letter!

So with this week's focus being on the letter T, Kate decided to take in her tiger puppet, Bartholomew P. Tiger, who we bought four years ago on Kate's first trip to the zoo. She's memorized his full name and is prepared to tell all her friends about when and where she got him. And, of course, to demonstrate his RAWR!

You just can't hold him without saying, "RAWR!" Claire looked quite alarmed and backed out of the room when Bartholomew rawred at her this morning :0)

Kate and Bartholomew's first meeting, April 2009

Mommy Mysteries

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 14:24:00 +0000

One of my shoes is sitting on the kitchen counter right now. I don't really know how it got there, or where the mate to it is. We have a big problem in our house keeping pairs of shoes together, mainly (I think) because Claire loves "yoos" and has to take off her own shoes the moment she sees someone else's shoes, so she can put theirs on and walk around in them. Somehow in that process, shoes often end up separated from their mates by a matter of rooms or even floors.

It's one of those many mysteries that strike homes with small children. How do things wind up in such strange places? On the ledge by the stairs, I found a paper plate lion mask, one of my shoes (not the mate to the one on the kitchen counter), and a single baby sock.

The single baby sock shouldn't be such a surprise, since socks (like shoes) often seem to flee from their mates. My advice for new moms out there: choose one style of baby sock, and buy ONLY that one. Save yourself the task of matching them all up, because it is an exercise in frustration. Here are five mateless socks out of one basket of Claire's clean laundry.

I saw a friend's Facebook status the other day listing the items found when cleaning out her minivan: three pairs of underwear, seven (non-matching) gloves and mittens, and two dreidls (though they are not Jewish). Makes me feel a little less strange for having a baby doll belted into our backseat next to a giant snowman (in April). I did not photograph the collection of hair things, jackets, and plastic Easter eggs on the floor. I heard Honda is coming out with a van that has a central vacuum—yes, please!!

I guess it's a misnomer to call all these things "mysteries" when the answer is typically a simple four-letter word: KIDS. They do weird things. And we have to do weird things because of them. Are you ready for this one?

We now keep our band-aids in a locked, fireproof box along with our passports and social security cards.

Why? Because Kate is obsessed with band-aids and will do anything to get them. She'll whine about a teeny bump on her leg in hopes that it will merit a band-aid. If we remind her that band-aids are for things that bleed, she might even go so far as to pick a scab to make it bleed! And if we leave them anywhere she can reach it, she'll raid the box after bedtime and cover her legs in a dozen bandages.

So naturally, I put them out of reach. Or what I thought was out of reach.

One night I came upstairs when she was supposed to be in bed and found this:

Even with this precarious stack of stools, I can't believe she could reach them in the back of the top shelf!

And that's how our band-aids came to be stored in a top-secret bunker.

What strange things have you discovered in your house lately?

Project Life: February

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 12:00:00 +0000

February was a great month, especially the middle of it, which included Mardi Gras, Valentine's Day, and our first foster child's stay with us. (Ash Wednesday was in there too, which I love, but took no pictures of :0)

We had a decent snow on the first of the month ("decent" by Nashville standards—an inch or two and it was gone by noon) and I did a little half-page about that, opposite a main page showing some Valentine fun, including the girls' valentines, which had heart lollipops stuck through them. I thought they turned out pretty cute!

I like the card of 10 fun things about our February—though I notice now I never added item 10! (I filled it out before the month was quite over.)

I did a whole page about February 9, which was the day of Claire's first haircut and Kate and Matt's time at the Daddy-Daughter Valentine Dance. Opposite that was Faith's first couple days with us, which included Mardi Gras and Valentine's. (I can't show her face or real name online, so that's the reason for the extra hearts on these pics, but I'm glad to have a page about her in the scrapbook. I still miss her :0)

A final page shows our family outing to the Opryland Hotel. Matt and I were so proud of ourselves for handling three kids! (I know to any of you with three or four kids yourself, it's no biggie, but this was a totally new experience for us!)

I saw that Shutterfly is having a big print sale through today (promo code 101PRINTS) so I better order my March photos today. And FYI, I'm linking this post up with The Mom Creative's Project Life Tuesday, so click on over for more inspiration! Have a good one!

Eggstra Easter Pics

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 14:18:00 +0000

A bad pun is about all the April Foolishness you'll find from me :0) but I did want to share a few more photos of our Easter activities.

Despite the rainy, gray Easter Day (that always feels so wrong, a gloomy Easter!) we did have some festive fun interspersed between our many Holy Week services, which ranged from celebratory to somber, as they are designed to do. By yesterday morning, when Matt left early for church and I told Kate the rest of us needed to get ready to go to church too, she said, "Again?!?!"

Yep, that's Holy Week for a pastor's family!

Before I forget, there are just a few more hours to place an order on my virtual Thirty-One party, so if you still want to check out some great bags and home organization, please do! Here's the link. I'm going to get this cool hanging organizer for my home office :0)

Our first egg hunt was the day before Palm Sunday, when we went to Breakfast with the Easter Bunny with Granna and Opa. Last year, Kate would not go near the Easter Bunny and Claire was fine. This year, totally reversed. Kate was happy to hug the bunny whenever he came near! We enjoyed a nice breakfast and then the girls both gathered eggs like pros.

(People always misspell our last name.)

Thanks for a fun time, Granna and Opa!

On Holy Saturday was our church egg hunt, and again Kate was buds with the Easter Bunny, who, like last year, was actually her daddy. That familiarity did not help Claire, though, who was still pretty wary.

We dyed some eggs Saturday afternoon (before Mommy and Daddy went on a date to see SNL's Seth Meyers doing stand-up—woo hoo!)

Nala and Popi babysat, since they were in town for Easter. We enjoyed a nice lunch at home after church, before heading back to church for The Road. (I'll echo Kate there, "Again?!?!")

We had just a little bit of time between lunch and evening church to relax, so while Daddy took a quick nap, the girls had a jumping-on-the-bed party! What better way to express the joy of Alleluia when you're a little kid? :0)

Happy Easter!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 04:16:00 +0000

Happy Easter from the Kelleys!

Maddening March Madness

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 20:36:00 +0000

If you follow college basketball, you know that we're now in the Sweet Sixteen round of the NCAA tournament. Usually, I am following the games with much excitement. Matt and I have a great time filling out our brackets and cheering both for the teams we love and whatever team whose win would put us ahead of the other in our family pool.

Ten days or so ago, we were all geared up. Our fridge was stocked with pizza and beer. Our pantry had plenty of chips on the shelf and three tournament brackets taped to the door. Matt's was filled out with the help of insight from Sports Center, regular season stats, and a dash of team loyalty. I use my gut and a little more loyalty (which often beats Matt's carefully-researched picks, nonetheless). Kate uses an even gutsier gut, which frequently chooses 16-seed teams to beat number ones, and a number of 15-2 upsets. She's among the few Americans to have correctly picked #14 Harvard's win over #3 New Mexico, as well as Florida Gulf Coast's Cinderella run. Amazing.

And now it's all blown to bits.

Kentucky (my family's team) didn't even make the tournament this year, despite winning it all last year. Then Memphis (Matt's family's team) lost in the first round and Butler—Matt's alma mater and all of our choice to win it all—lost in the second round. So I don't really care anymore, but I'm very bummed to not be caring, if that makes any sense.

All three of us have lost three of our Final Four picks. I guess I'll be rooting for Kansas, since that's the one I have remaining. Matt and Kate have Louisville and Duke, respectively, both of which we collectively despise. (Louisville is enemy of both UK and Memphis. Matt's mom was alarmed when she learned Matt was dating a Louisvillian, until she learned I'm from a family of Wildcats, not Cardinals. And Duke is evil.)

We're a lot more focused on Holy Week and Easter festivities this weekend anyway, so it's just as well that basketball is off my radar.

I hope you all have a very happy Easter, made more meaningful by some reflection on Christ's crucifixion today. . . and if your team is still in the tourney, I hope you're happy with that as well (grumble, grumble).

If you made it to the end of this post, you must be a sports fan, so I'll mention something I forgot to when announcing my virtual Thirty-One party the other day: Thirty-One has a collegiate line! So if you or someone you buy gifts for is a college sports fan, a thermal tote or game day bag with their favorite team's colors and logo would be perfect! Check it out and remember to place your order by Monday at noon. Go team!

WMW: Leaning In

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 02:13:00 +0000

Have you been hearing all the buzz about Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead? This new book by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg has been getting a lot of press and apparently sold 140,000 in its first week.

I haven't read it, but I'm following the media discussion with great interest. Sandberg's premise seems to be that women need to stop trying so hard to be "nice" in the workplace and stop worrying about the common double-standard by which an assertive man is considered a strong, confident leader, but an assertive woman is considered a bitch. Then again, a lot of her advice, apparently, advocates walking a fine line: be assertive, while being "eternally pleasant." (There go my chances :0)

Lauren Hansen of TheWeek.com gives this helpful synopsis (followed by a good run down of the most well-reasoned arguments flying around about the book):

Sandberg posits that due to forces both internal and external, women make small decisions throughout their career that impede their progress. Whether it's planning ahead for a family, feeling obligated to think of others before themselves, or shying away from their triumphs, women's degenerative choices over time have resulted in the gender as a whole earning only 77 cents for every dollar men make, and holding only "a meager twenty-one" of the Fortune 500 CEO positions.

A lot of the criticism of Sandberg's book seems to be that it is "elitist," seeming to take for granted opportunities and luxuries that have enabled her to get to the top. I've read some insightful responses, including one from a Latina perspective, and one about how Sandberg has a very 1970s approach to gender differences.

The conversation around Lean In has also brought more attention to the question of whether women who "opt out" of the workplace to stay home are doing so because they really want to or because—for whatever reason—it is hard for women to succeed in business. Or as Lisa Belkin, author of a well known article from ten years ago called "The Opt-Out Revolution," says, now rethinking her 2003 assertion: "most women who leave the workforce are more pushed than pulled."

I read all this with great interest, having recently halfway-opted-out myself to become a freelance editor and writer. I'm still working quite a bit, but with a lot more flexibility than before. And I'm loving it. I keep saying it's the "best decision I ever made." I control my own schedule, work on a wider variety of projects, and enjoy the satisfaction that comes from gaining new clients. I am more available to my kids and (when we have them) foster kids, making breakfast in the mornings and having dinner started when they get home, not to mention sick and snow days. Our marriage is stronger and happier, presumably because I am more relaxed and we have more time for just the two of us, having lunch on his day off, working in a coffeeshop together on his sermon writing days, etc. And—a plus for an introverted pastor's wife—I am less resentful and drained by all the time we spend at church because I have had plenty of "alone time" while I'm working.

My decision to leave my old job was motivated by a desire for more flexibility and work/home balance, but my new situation is so fulfilling, it's sure hard to think of it as a Plan B. So, according to Belkin, was I "pulled" home by the desire to better care for my family, or was I "pushed" by the corporate environment?

Belkin says,

"Had their workplaces been ones that adapted to a world in which workers no longer have other halves (read: wives) focusing on home so that they can focus on the job, and where technology could be used to free employees from their desks physically rather than tethering them metaphorically, and where the "ideal worker" was understood to have priorities outside of the office — in other words, if they'd had a third path — they might well have taken it."

I'd probably call the path I'm taking a "third path," but I know that's not possible for everyone. I wonder if people are really making a false dichotomy between "leaning in" and "opting out." When I first heard about Lean In, I thought, "That's a book I would have eaten up a year ago," but I figured it no longer applied to me. I stopped climbing the corporate ladder when I opted to work from home, right? My husband quickly disagreed. "Being your own boss sure sounds like leaning in to me. And you've got the corner office—overlooking the neighborhood pool, no less!"

I'd like to say "leaning in" can mean actively pursuing a career life that works for you, whatever that means; but it's not my term to redefine. All I know is that the combination of push and pull that leads a woman to make a change does not necessarily have to derail her professional success and fulfillment.

Show and Tell: Thirty-One Bags

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 04:18:00 +0000

This week, I want to "show and tell" you about my Thirty-One bags. My friend Nancy has been a fan for years, and she finally rubbed off on me. In the last year, these things have become some of the most useful and used items in our house.

If you're not familiar with Thirty-One, you might call it the Mary Kay or Pampered Chef of lugging and organizing. My consultant (that's another fun thing about companies like this—you have your consultant :0) Allison got married this month (yay!) and since she wouldn't be able to do as many parties as usual, with all that vowing and honeymooning, I thought a virtual party might be in order!

So let me tell you about some of my favorite things (and a few special bonuses at the very end!) They're all pretty, but more importantly in my mind, very practical. So I don't feel too indulgent spending money on them, and they make great gifts! (Mother's Day will be here before you know it!)

I use my Large Utility Tote for groceries and other random stuff I might need to take somewhere (Christmas presents to the in-laws' house, a huge pack of diapers and other baby gear when going out of town...).

I actually got the black damask one last fall because I loved our pool bag so much and wanted one for everyday use. I got my first LUT (Large Utility Tote) two years ago when we moved into our new house and would be going to the neighborhood pool a lot. This thing holds everything! We took it on our beach trip and saw so many other families with the same bag (in different fabrics, of course, since there are a bunch of options). I put the bunch of bananas next to it just to give a sense of scale. It's huge!

Here's my black one holding all the groceries for our food pantry challenge a few weeks ago. That's a lot of food!

My other most-used bag is this Keep-It Caddy, which I use as our family lunch box to take leftovers, utensils, and paper products to church every Tuesday so we can eat dinner as a family before taking Kate to her gymnastics class. It's not too big to carry around when you've also got a purse, gym bag, and other stuff to lug, and yet you can fit a lot of stuff in it. For a pot luck at church, I once fit a tupperware of veggies, a container of dip, a large jar of spiced pineapple, and the dishes/platters in which to serve all that. This year's version also has pen pockets on the side that would be great for spoons as well.

Note: I see a lot of people using the above caddy as a small diaper bag, which feels very small for a diaper bag, and yet there is plenty of room for diapers, wipes, a spare outfit, and a sippy cup on the side, which is really all you need and doesn't require the digging through a bottomless bag! For a bigger diaper bag, a lot of people are using the new Super Organizing Tote, with its seven pockets and zipper top.

These Littles Carry-All Caddies were gifts from my mom to each of the girls for Christmas, filled with stocking-stuffer type things. I know the girls would love to tote them around with treasures, as kids tend to do, but I've made them our "upstairs-downstairs bags." They sit on the steps to collect items that need to go up to the girls' rooms, and then I load them up with downstairs stuff that has somehow found its way upstairs. (As you see, shoes seem to end up where they should not quite a bit.)

The Littles caddies are only $12 and so useful. I've seen people use them for remotes in the living room, office supplies on the desk, and creams and such on changing tables. Kate actually mentioned out of the blue how they would be great as trick-or-treat bags, so I'm thinking about getting some in the "black happy dot" pattern and orange monogramming for the girls to use at Halloween!

My treat for myself in December was the Timeless Beauty Bag, for travel, and there are smaller accessory pouches that I'm thinking of getting for the kids to hold her toiletries when we travel.

I hope you'll come to my virtual party! There are also thermal lunch bags, office organizers, duffel bags, purses, and more. And here are two added bonuses:

For every $31 you spend, you can get a tote (one of five options) for 50% off! (click "Monthly Specials" on the site for details)
My dear Allison—I mean my dear Mrs. Kennedy*—is going to draw one of my virtual guests to get free shipping!

So come to my party and get some fun, useful stuff for yourself and your loved ones, and maybe get free shipping too! The party will close Monday at noon, so take a look and at the very least get your Mother's Day gifts out of the way! :0)

*Anybody get the Gone With the Wind reference there?

Project Life: January

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:59:00 +0000

I'm continuing my monthly approach to memory keeping this year, creating a spread or two featuring our big events and little moments of each month. I just finished February, so let me share January this week and I'll save February for next week. (Feb needs a few more photo edits since I can't show our foster child's face or real name online.)

January in our family is generally a re-settling time, getting back into a routine after Christmas and that "clean" feeling of taking all the Christmas decorations down. (I love holiday decorating, but that uncluttered feeling after the tree and other stuff go away is so refreshing.) Plus, January leads up to Kate's birthday on the 28th, so I usually decorate for her party a week or so early, so we can enjoy it and celebrate the birthday child all week long!

I got the Project Life Mayfield Childhood Mini Kit, which has some cute "prompt" cards and filler cards with fun patters and sayings. Since I do my spreads monthly, I don't need as many supplies, but it's fun to try the new designs for 2013, so this mini kit is perfect. I wish it had two more header cards so I'd have one for each month, but I'll survive.

This first page is both the first of the year and first in a new album, so I wanted it to be simple and pretty, with some good "life right now" photos. I've got Claire with her piggy tails and toothbrush, and sitting in the fridge, as she loves to do. I've got Kate with her birthday sticker and star sunglasses, and looking cool in Claire's bunny hat. Also, the girls together in matching jammies, a "daily routine" prompt card (perfect to set the stage for the new year), and a pic and key card from Matt and my little getaway to the Opryland Hotel. The banner on the mantle was for Kate's birthday. Since we were having her party away from home, I put up the banners I made for her first birthday three years ago to decorate the house.

The first full spread of the year is about Kate's party at Monkey Joe's. I love the pics of the kids in their star sunglasses party favor, and of Kate looking so happy bouncing on the inflatables and when Monkey Jane came in.

The second spread isn't so pretty, but the left side tells the story of Kate's girly loves right now: Dora (including friend Emery's Dora party), princesses, and Fancy Nancy, plus our favorite board games and a shot of Kate's writing of the whole alphabet. The right side is a short page of Claire's cheesy faces!

After flipping through my 2009-2011 scrapbooks, I realize how much I miss doing full, 12x12 pages highlighting just a few pictures or a single memory. They take a little more time, so I tend to put them off (I have a barely-started page for my friend's baby shower last summer and the baby is now seven months old!) I really want to do more of those this year, so that's my goal, but in the meantime, monthly spreads work for me!

[I'm linking up today with The Mom Creative's Project Life Tuesday, so if you want more memory-keeping inspiration, click on over!]

My Quotable Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 18:26:00 +0000

I'd always heard (or maybe I heard it once and it became law in my mind) that younger children talk later than the oldest child because the older sibling tends to speak for them. This was certainly the case with my husband and his little brother, who apparently spoke nothing until he was two and then it was a complete sentence.

Claire has really surprised us with her vocabulary. At 16 months, she has probably twice as many words as Kate had at 18 months. (Here's my favorite video ever of Kate, naming body parts at 18 months.) Claire seems to lean toward the verbal and fine motor skills, whereas Kate's gross motor skills were so impressive. At Claire's age, Kate was climbing rope ladders and stuff on big-kid playgrounds, and climbing onto and running back and forth on the coffee table! I remember worrying about Kate's language development a little around age two, but obviously she's fine. Kids just develop at different rates and with different strengths!

Roughly in order of her learning them, here are Claire's words:
Daddy, whoa!, kitty, ball, book, Kate, Mama/Mommy, banana ("nana"), yellow, here, Lila (a classmate), cheese! (a smile, not the food), Popi, Nala, Opa (sorry, Granna--you're the hardest!), nose, eye, teeth, no, mine, thank you, help, shoe ("yoo"), baby, ow, and Elmo (which appears to also mean diaper, since Elmo is on some of her diapers).

She's coming out with a new one every couple days now, and it's so fun to communicate with her more. I write each new word in her My Quotable Kid journal so I'll have a record. (Kate's has lots of funny sayings and sweet memories in it, so I'm glad to have one just for Claire too, so they can each keep their own one day, along with their baby books.)

These days, Kate demonstrates her four-year-old verbal skills with increasing . . . personality, shall we say. She has a few go-to exclamations that make us laugh:

Now a big fan of Dora, Kate says "Aw, man!" like Swiper, but added her own spin to often say, "Aw, manners!"

A while back, Kate learned the expression, "No way, José!" (even asking sometimes about Spanish words by saying, "How does José say _____?") but her PK colors are showing, I guess, because now she likes to say, "No way, Hosea!"

When it comes to exclamations of frustration, we definitely have to watch ourselves. She picked up a bad one about a year ago, but she only did it a few times before our lack of reaction (or very calm, "let's not say that; that's not very nice") dismissed the behavior. She does say, "What the HECK?!" like I do, though. Switching to German isn't a cure-all, since we heard Kate saying "Scheiße" repeatedly the other night. Parent tip: act like they've misunderstood you. "Size of what?" I asked her. This works to defuse annoying sayings too. In our house, "nana nana boo boo" has become "banana banana boom boom."

Combining Kate's strong will with the verbal reasoning skills of a preschooler makes for some difficult arguments as well. Kate picked up the use of double negatives from some teachers at her day care, so we're trying to correct "I don't have no shoes," or whatnot into "I don't have any shoes." And while she tries to tell me "no" is okay because Ms. So-and-so says it (arrgghh!!!) she now corrects herself to say "any" with just a look. But, with the legalistic tendency of a preschooler, the word "no" is now verboten (except in terms of general defiance, of course) so when I happen to say something like, "She has no shoes," Kate will say, "Ah, Mommy, it's 'ANY shoes'!" Then we have to try to explain the concept of a double negative and how you can use a single negative either way, and it just gets complicated.

Some preschool logic is just too hard to argue with.

Yesterday morning, Kate was telling me she is going to be a princess when she grows up. Matt and I both try to combat this, and explain that princess is not a career (click for the Justice Sotomayor/Abby Cadabby video about that). So, I told Kate how you can't just become a princess, it's usually a family business, and that in our country, we have a president, not a king and queen.

"There are only, like, ten real princesses in the whole world, Kate," I told her, expecting a "nuh-uh" kind of retort.

Instead, she said, "Well, then, I'll be the eleventh."

Show and Tell

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 23:28:00 +0000

I'm starting another new series here on The Parsonage Family, basically designed to showcase random stuff worth sharing. Like the name indicates, Show and Tell is reminiscent of that classic kindergarten activity where you bring in something from home to show your classmates and tell them all about it.

Blogging in general is more or less just a giant exercise in show and tell, so I guess you could say this series is basically an excuse to share more random things than I usually would! Maybe a recipe I've tried or a new craft project, or some other fun thing. I'll invite you to tell about any random thing you want in the comments too!

First off, allow me to introduce our Show and Tell mascot, Sunny. Sunny is a yellow Kennel Kuddlee (a knock off of Pound Puppies, I guess) from the 1980s. I loved Sunny and even wrote his name on our deck in black crayon when I was five, and held him by the ear with my teeth when climbing on the playground monkey bars. I took Sunny for Show and Tell every week in kindergarten. We had weekly themes, like "something blue" or "something green," so I would tie a different colored ribbon around Sunny's neck each week so he would fit the rules. Mrs. Cruickshank finally sent a note home saying I needed to bring something other than Sunny for Show and Tell.

Justice for Sunny! He can appear every week here on The Parsonage Family with no teacher to tell him otherwise :0)

But just in case Mrs. Cruikshank is looking down on us (we were her last class before she died of breast cancer) and wishing we'd share something else, I will point you over to Ministry Matters to see a series of collages I made in 2006 for a Stations of the Cross worship experience at Vanderbilt Divinity School. Matt and I have used these for Holy Week in various churches every year since then, and I finally photographed them so they could be shared more widely and projected during worship.

Here's a sampling of my favorite stations, and you can download all of them, with corresponding scriptures, at Ministry Matters.

Have a blessed Holy Week!

Taking Stock of Our Time

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 02:12:00 +0000

This past week's Lenten challenge in our church's "Taking Stock" series was taking stock of our time, and I have to admit, I was just no good at this one.

Oh, I take stock of my time, alright, in a super-organized, Type A sort of way. I use an online time tracker (Yast.com) to keep track of the hours I spend on various work projects (especially important now that I'm freelancing and paid by the hour, in some cases) and I write things in my planner even after the fact so that I have a record of how I spent my time. But the specific challenge this last week was to carve out ten minutes for prayer and devotion each day, and I have to admit that more days than not, I just forgot.

I pray a lot, in that I talk to God throughout the day and try to live ever-mindfully of God's presence and will for our lives, but I really struggle to sit down and focus only on prayer for a period of time. To stay focused, I generally need a pencil in hand, to underline lines of scripture that strike me as I read it, or to write and sketch my prayers creatively. Judging from these two extremes, it seems I have trouble just doing "nothing." What a shocker. I can go about normal life prayerfully, or I can productively draw, write, annotate, etc. Just sitting and "being" in the presence of God is tough for me on an ordinary basis. When I think of times I am able to do that, it's generally when I've gotten "away from it all" in a cabin or whatnot, and sit in an Adirondack chair with a mug of coffee, just staring out over glorious hills and trees.

This week is "taking stock of our relationships," being mindful of the people we come into contact with each day and the health of each of those relationships, particularly any anger or grudges we may need to let go of.

WMW: Constant Accessibility

noreply@blogger.com (Jessica Miller Kelley) — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 21:15:00 +0000

I heard this stat the other day: that 7 in 10 working adults have a smartphone, resulting in an increase in work bleeding over into personal time. It's not just the smartphone's fault, of course. Personal computers meant you could do things at home that maybe once were reserved for the office. Laptops meant you could use the same computer at work and home and tote it with you wherever you go. The Internet and Cloud-based apps mean you can work on a project across a bunch of devices—work computer, home computer, laptop, tablet, phone, etc.

It used to be hard work to work anywhere. You'd have to think ahead to lug paperwork home at the end of the day, or at least save stuff on a flash drive to tote it home electronically. Now, it's not only easy to work 24/7, the work follows you and it becomes expected because everyone knows you could
theoretically work 24/7.

How could you not know about the client crisis that erupted at 9 am on Saturday morning? You were at your kid's soccer game? Well, you had your phone on you, didn't you?

Hey, did you get the email I sent ten minutes ago? Why haven't you responded? I thought maybe your firewall blocked it, so I sent it to your other address too.

Perhaps worse than the external expectation of constant accessibility is the pressure and temptation you put yourself through. Say you do look at your phone during that soccer game and become aware of the brand new work-related crisis. Then you're tempted to fire back emails to address the issue when you should be connecting with your family and supporting your child.

When I was first able to check my work email from my home computer, it was mainly for extenuating circumstances (business trips, sick days, etc.) I remember when cell phones were just for emergencies too! When I first got my work email on my phone a couple years ago, I thought it was pretty cool. I could check on things before getting to work, or before going to bed. I could respond to an email at 9 p.m. and impress whoever sent it with my industriousness.

Now that I work on a contract basis, paid by hour or by project, I don't feel the same pressure to be constantly available. I took that email account off my phone, and I rarely go into my home office when Matt and the kids are home, and I don't use the kitchen computer for work. I expected it to be harder to segment my life, working from home, but in a way it is easier to draw those lines.

What about you? Are you accessible 24/7? Do you expect others to be?