“I (am) doing some re structuring of the company so can you terminate my membership at the end of March. I will probably look to join again but not until May / June because I will be away travelling most of April. Will talk soon. Regards, Phil

Here was the reply:

“I can take this as your months notice, this is a shame , but we thank you for all your support throughout  your membership with us and wish you all the best in the future, please don’t be a stranger.”

Imagine my surprise, therefore, when another payment was taken from my account early April; I had failed to cancel the direct debit mandate. That said, I hadn’t expected the organisation to take another payment. But it was what followed that left me saddened.

I asked for it back, believing there had been a mistake, but was told that because I had not given a full month’s notice (remember, I served notice on Saturday March 2nd), my membership needed to run until the end of April (I left for the Middle East on April 4th!). All my protestations failed and, probably, the organisation in question had every right to quote me their Terms & Conditions.

BUT, when does quoting T&C’s end and common sense take over? £28+ richer, the organisation now has a disgruntled member who feels short changed. Worse than that they have lost an advocate. How sad and how short sighted for a ‘networking’ organisation. Now that is ironic!

If someone were to ask Richard Branson how much his life was worth, what do you think he’d say? Apparently the going rate for a mercenary is £600 – £700 a day so you do the sums!

People place hugely different values upon themselves and the services they offer. Sometimes it is about market demand, market protection or, even, self-worth or (lack of) self-esteem. All sorts of factors determine ‘value’.

Today we have been crossing ‘pirate’ seas en-route to Jordan. In this part of the world modern day ‘terrorists’ are notorious for trying to board both passenger ships and oil tankers. Apparently it is about hostages, ransoms and insurance pay outs.

However, cruise companies have realised that if pirates actually succeed, their businesses will be wiped out overnight. Consequently, part of the passenger roster includes mercenaries – ex military men and women who hire out their ‘protection’ services. According to one crew member I chatted with, the going rate for these personnel is around £600 – £700 a day.

They only join the ship during high risk parts of the voyage, but their presence is an indicator as to the value cruise liners put upon their own business and, equally, the value society puts upon the life of a mercenary because, if they are called to action, they might die.

Personally, I wouldn’t sell one minute of my life for £10,000….it’s worth far more than that!

Did you know that there are only 15 professional ventriloquists left in the UK? That’s the amazing fact related by Steve Hewlett.

I met this amazing ‘vent’ over coffee this week and later saw his act which was amazing. He’s been striving for more than 20 years to become an overnight sensation!

Steve is a master of his craft, funny, slick, practised and passionate about his ‘dolls’ and his work. It’s probably a lonely life but for his travelling companions, and I’m sure he must wake up some mornings and ask whether he is suffering from schizophrenia!

However, more than a ventriloquist, Steve is a specialist, a niche product. He’s only got 14 other competitors in a marketplace where there is still demand for this dying art.

I worked as a Punch and Judy Professor for 20 years – a family tradition – and people used to laugh at the fact that I was a puppeteer, until they heard that Mr Punch and Mrs Judy had bought me my first house and established my property portfolio which now allows me to do what ‘I’ want to do.

Demand for my services outstripped supply. Steve, and me, operated in a niche. How do you differentiate either yourself or your product so that you are not viewed as ‘just another XYZ’? Seek to be different, strive to be unique – one of a kind.

Heard the one about the Plymouth taxi driver who sold his house and moved to Thailand to live on £400 a month? No Joke!

Stewart was a real interesting chap, and I never cease to be amazed by those on-board who are either ‘out there doing it’, or just about to join those who’ve already made the break. Travelling rapidly brings about a realisation that there is more to life than the golden handcuffs of traditional ‘work’.

Stewart had been a cabbie in Plymouth for 25 years and, one day, decided to fulfil a dream. He sold one of his two houses and set off for Bangkok, renting his remaining property for £750 a month. With his other bits of income he figured he’d have around £1000 a month to live on.

Finally settling in a town some 100 miles from Bangkok, my intrepid cruise colleague – sailing back to the UK to see his daughter and renew his visa (a ritual that has to be carried out every 15 months) – Stewart settled into his new life.

“My rent on a two bedroomed ‘Western’ apartment with full modern kitchen, is £78 a month, electricity is £100 a year, motorbike insurance is £8 a year, and I get a daily Costa type latte with water and refills for 20p every morning…….oh yes…….and a full evening meal for 30p!”

What do you want from life? Lots of money? Why? How much money do you need?

These are vital questions in shaping how you ‘use’ your life. I’m 52 and, believe me, I had an awakening several years ago, realising that life is far more important than money. You need cash but, in my opinion, only as a vehicle for purchasing ‘experiences’, and such experiences do not have to cost a fortune.

Stop waiting for the perfect day in which to build an amazing life, it is a consumerist lie, such a day doesn’t exist. Today is the perfect day. That’s what Stewart told me.

Today I met one of the most eminent astrologers and robotic scientists in the world…….. and I was truly fascinated to hear about his life in the former Soviet Union, his brushes with the KGB and how, in Hollywood, he’d had the dubious honour to sit behind Tom Cruise in a Down Town Theatre, whilst bumping shopping trolleys with Goldie Hawn in the local supermarket!

Professor David Southwood, formerly Director of Science and Robotic Exploration at the European Space Agency in Paris, recounted the life of one of history’s great astrologers, Galileo. He had the temerity to suggest that the SUN was at the centre of the universe and not the EARTH; we revolved round ‘it’ and not the other way round!

That upset the Catholic church who duly excommunicated him, and it wasn’t till a few centuries later that Pope John Paul II ‘rehabilitated’ Galileo (let him back in!).

Now, the story is almost anecdotal but, at the time, how must Galileo have felt? He knew he was right and that the entire world was wrong. But, he stuck to his guns and, eventually, the world came round to his way of thinking, finally conceding that he was a genius, not a dangerous fruit cake!

It is so easy to be a sheep, but so much harder to follow the lonely road. Seek to emulate Galileo when you know you have valid reasoning.

How absurd is life in Western Europe! One lady recounted her life in Tunbridge Wells where, apparently, parking is at a premium! “There’s just nowhere to park near our house,” she said, “and even though we have a permit system you sometimes have to leave your car some distance from the front door. However, if you manage to get a decent spot – a place where you can actually keep an eye on your vehicle – you become very disinclined to move your car. Consequently we find ourselves walking or biking to the local shops, some seven miles away. We’re so paranoid about losing our ‘good’ parking spot!” Maybe our crowded roads are now playing their part in keeping the nation fit? Or is it that we’ve just gone mad?

Today there was a man on board ship bemoaning the fact that staff had washed the plastic sun deck loungers but failed to dry them adequately. Passengers had been forced to complete the task themselves. Heaven forbid!

Cruise ships have the uncanny ability to turn people into demanding monsters: “I’ve paid so I want it right, nay perfect.”

By contrast I was talking to one of the on-board musicians who recounted how he had played keyboard at one of Mumbai’s top hotels in India. His story fascinated me.

“Inside the hotel,” he recalled, “there were six restaurants, probably among the best in the world, and there were two staff to each guest. A shot of whisky was £200 for certain brands and members of hugely wealthy families were ordering full bottles in order to demonstrate their wealth to friends.

“Outside there were people sleeping on the pavements and some were even defecating because they knew no better.”

So, if you are ever about to complain about something as innocuous as a wet sun deck lounger, take a moment to remember those who don’t even have the luxury of tissue paper for their own needs.

Remember what Seneca said some four years before Jesus Christ was said to have walked the earth: “……individuals have riches just as we say that we ‘have a fever,’ when really the fever has us.”

Lost in the Muscat Souk at Mutah, I found myself wandering, aimlessly, through the tumble down residential area. A car driver pulled up alongside me and, in broken English, asked what I was looking for.

“The Big Mosque,” I replied, hoping for eloquent directions. I was sadly disappointed! He quickly gathered what I was looking for but was unable to articulate how to get there. In the end the chap gestured to his passenger door and said ‘get in.’ It was one of those ‘do I or don’t I?’ moments. I got in and there started my first adventure.

The chap – just a local, not a taxi driver – was so proud of his city. He took me to the ‘Big Mosque’ and spent the next three hours ferrying me around Muscat to the Sultan’s Palace, along the new motorways, of which he was particularly proud, and, towards the end of our short friendship, he asked if I would like to come back to his house for lunch.

At that moment, the cynic within me took over. “What will I be getting into? What’s his angle? What’s all this going to cost? But I needn’t have worried. He duly deposited me back in town and as I turned to ask him if I could give him something for petrol, he smiled and said: “No charge, my friend. My gift to you.” His offer of lunch had been genuine. How sad that I missed out on his other ‘gift’….the chance to eat with a Muscat family. May Allah be praised for here was one of his true subjects, a follower of the Koran and a man eager to help a stranger abroad.

I duly made my way to the internet cafe and agreed $1 for an hour’s connection, only this time the chap asked for $4 when I’d finished. A row ensued and I walked out having paid $1. I was a tourist, he was an opportunist.

At the next ‘venue’ a fruit drink bar – alcohol is at a minimum in the Arab States – I offered to pay in dollars – quite normal in many areas. We drank two beautiful fruit juices which, in local money, should have cost $5; we were asked for $11. The situation was sensitive, I paid, I felt ripped off; another opportunist.

I experienced both kindness and cunning in one day, however, the alternative was to have ‘played it safe,’ to have remained in my shell. But, had I done that, I would never have met my wonderful Muslim friend, and his gestures outweighed by far, the opportunists keen for their double dose of dollars. Life without trust is no life at all. Do your clients trust you? Do you trust them?

In fact me, Chris and Patrick were sitting at a computer, last night, admiring his stunning work, and talking about a local photography club. As we chatted we stumbled upon these wonderful ‘tea / coffee’ images so I decided to drop Monsieur McCurry a quick email, because, somehow, they summed up everything Phil Hopkins is about……’I can’t afford to buy them Steve,’ said I, ‘but will you let me use them?’

And guess what?

The World in Your Cup

A reply from his ‘people. This is what they said: “It’s always nice to hear from people who appreciate Steve’s work………..we do appreciate that you’ve taken the time to contact us regarding the use of images for your blog. We will permit you the use of the photos………thank you again for taking the time to check with the studio.”

Two things. It pays to ask, it pays to be polite and never think that anyone is too remote to network and connect with.

Brazil

The photos I particularly wanted to feature on my blog were Steve’s wonderful ‘tea/coffee’ shots which, time and again, illustrate how a ‘cuppa’ is so instrumental in either the process of relaxation or relationships.

Istanbul, Turkey

The images speak at an emotional level and, as I indicated in an earlier blog, you have to reach people at an emotional level to truly connect. If you don’t then you are simply a cold, hard sell merchant and you will have limited success.

Thanks for your help Steve.

The World in Your Cup stevemccurry.com/galleries/world-your-cup

Go check out his amazing work at stevemccurry.com/blog

All photos by Steve McCurry, a gentleman and a scholar. Thanks buddy.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, sales begin in relationships, friendships….they start at an emotional level. So, if you’re going to tell me that you haven’t got time to make a deeper connection with your prospects, then time and again you will fail to sell in a society that’s becoming hardened to the cold sell, the features, the benefits. Quite frankly they couldn’t give a ***ger!! Wake up!

We now have recorded sales calls….do they really work? They don’t for me, I hang up. When ‘humans’ call they launch straight into some kind of script without so much as ‘by your leave or good morning.’ Indian voices phone from the sub continent and tell you they are called Simon, in a vain bid to make a ‘connection’….gimme a break, don’t insult my intelligence! Does ‘Simon’ know the geographical area of the UK he claims to represent? Does he heck!

The techniques are becoming tired.

The other week I was involved in a sale relating to Energy Cost Reduction……more efficient use of gas, electricity and lightbulbs etc for the uninitiated. I got to meet the MD of a chain of retail outlets and, for 50 minutes, I talked about everything but energy.

I knew his hobbies because I had made it my business to learn what he was involved in BEFORE the meeting, so that I was able to talk about his ‘life’ when we got together. ‘People’ research is as important as product research. Some will be resistant to this approach, don’t get me wrong, but you still need it in your armoury, believe me.

In the end the ‘business’ discussion lasted for five or 10 minutes and I got what I wanted. The exact detail of the deal is irrelevant, it’s the approach that I am talking about. A genuine, meaningful conversation about the person you are talking to indicates respect and says ‘I know about you because I have bothered to find out’.

When did you last walk into a UK bank and try to pay a cheque in without being asked about your mortgage, your savings plans and, and and, and……..people simply glaze over because you know that the tellers are merely targeting sales. I’m sure that some people buy but the majority don’t, because the dialogue (sorry monologue!) isn’t about you, it’s about them and the bank’s targets.

If someone rang offering to sell individuals a new wife or husband I’m sure some would buy but, you know what, the majority wouldn’t!! The words would resound loud and clear round every household: “Cheeky ***ger, he/she doesn’t even know me.”