The Pensblog

Moved

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 18:47:00 +0000

We have offically moved.

Blogspot.com doesn't take you there.
The domain-name switch is taking some time to work through the internet.

http://www.thepensblog.com

Blogspot. Signing Off.
If you can't access it for whatever reason, check back here.

Carrot. PENS LOSE

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 07:15:00 +0000

Recapping this game would like be watching an entire episode of "Bromance" without wanting to cut ourselves.

We've been all sitting on rock bottom for a few weeks now.
What a bad time to be alive.

But giving up now, makes you a joke.

Suck it up.

Erica

no clue

GPP

Candance

Frey

John D.

Brett M.

Godsmoker

J. A.

What a performance by everyone.

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Thanks to Christine K. for this from the AVS feed:

Nice spelling.

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Quick stuff:

No idea how we didn't talk about this.

Penguins.com have this great new fantasy game.

It is called EXTRA ATTACKER.

We don't usually get into fantasy shit, but the Pens might have struck gold with this.

It is easier than your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend to play.
It just deals with Pens players, and it is all weekly.

Good stuff, and it also may explain Therrien's line changing this week.

[Thanks to Josh B.] for the tip.

Click that link for more details.

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NHL after hours on the NHL network may be the best hour of tv all week.

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New site sometime tomorrow.
First post might be a Steelers recap.

Go Pens.
And,

Go Steelers.

Remember, Mike Tomlin was there for us in April-May-June.

Have to repay the favor. What a human.

Do it.

GAMEDAY [43] -- COLORADO AVS

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 18:48:00 +0000

21-19-1 43 points.

Last ever Gameday on blogspot.

1,526 post. Two more left.

We have been slacking on everything so we can get the site ready to go by Sunday before the Steeler game, so we are sorry.

Pens lose this game, and Therrien might stay in Colorado.

Sabu is starting, Hal Gill is back. PG

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If he can't fix it, no one can.

FTW.

Hold The Phone

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:28:00 +0000

Ken Campbell at THE HOCKEY NEWS unleashed an article on Jagr today.

“I was thinking about it and if Mario would call me and say, ‘I’d like you to play for our team,’ I would think about it a lot,” Jagr said in a telephone interview from Moscow where the Kontinental League will hold its inaugural All-Star Game outdoors at Red Square Saturday. “I would play for the minimum salary. I would play for $350,000 just for him because I owe him my hockey life. I want to pay him back because he has made me what I am…besides my parents.”

This is not a joke. This is real.

Music City Meltdown. PENS LOSE

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 10:30:00 +0000

If some country music sensation wrote a song about the Penguins season to this point, it would be called, "Are you drinking with me?"

The song would be a huge hit but then blow a three-goal lead to some rap song.
These are fragile times. Games like this almost paralyze you.

Up 3-0, all seems to be right.
5 unanswered goals later, we're right back we're we were before the Atlanta game.

Do you blame Michel Therrien? According to everyone, he has lost the team.
It almost seems desperate to blame him.
But tha'ts what losing does.

The line juggling, the struggles of the powerplay, the blowing of leads.
Who shoulders the it?
The players certainly haven't done anything to warrant a free pass.

It all comes down to accountability.
Who is accountable?

Chase S.

Dale S.

Paul Steigerwald's intro was unreal.
That took some guts.

Thanks to EMPTY NETTERS

Elvis must have died 'cause the game was like 10 minutes late starting.
8:00 game on a Thursday night. Nobody cared.
There were numerous stoppages in the early going.
Nashville ownership was probably checking to see if their crowd had a pulse.

We got through half of the first with nothing going, but then Satan drops some acid.
Pens were on the PK, and they killed it.

The Pens got on the board first. Two games in a row. Whatever that means.
Petr Gunn. 1-0.

For the first time in a while things are looking up.

Solid period of play,

Video from Malkin macking on some chick from a few games ago:

The start of the second period was the best thing to happen since it looked like Ben Afleck was going to die in Armageddon.

Staal-Bing-Kennedy was solid. They flew into the zone.
Nashville puts it in their own net.

2-0.

And the Cookie and Talbot come jobbing down.
Talbot's first goal since 1960. 3-0
A few Nashville fans retreat home to watch the 1989 Daytona 500.

All is right in the world. Pens are righting the ship.

But Martin Erat is not impressed.
He changes the game with a huge goal from the sewer.

3-1

Well its only 3-1.
And hey the Pens get a powerplay.
And then the wheels fall off.

Preds just take over. The Pens powerplay is just a disaster.
Erat owns Whitney.
2-on-1, saucer pass.
Goal.
3-2

If you didn't know the Preds were about to score again, you're a joke.

3-3 as Dick Trickle goes top shelf.

The third period is why we can't sleep at night.

Staal- Crosby-TK is broken up. The Pens refuse to make any change to their powerplay, and the lines are a mess.

Nashville gets a powerplay.

4-3.
Ouch.

All of sudden there is no time left.
But the Pens are coming harder than Peter North.
Bodies everywhere, puck floats to Jordan Staal......

Radek Bonk with an amazing play.
What else can we even say. That is one hell of a defensive play.

It was over.
Preds ice it with an empty net.

Game.

MISCELLANEOUS

Oh boy
vomit
not spellchecked

Go Pens

GAMEDAY 42 -- NASHVILLE PREDATORS

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 01:03:00 +0000

WOOPS.
We're in the final stages of the new site.
Late Gameday post = stunned.

Tenk's out. Dupuis is out.

Patrick Swayze city

Upgrade City

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 10:30:00 +0000

We're moving our operation away from Blogspot.
Next-generation blog programs are popping up on the internet, and we got the right offer at the right time.

The most appealing part of Blogspot for us is its simplicity. No crazy bullshit going on.
But the community that has formed here has simply outgrown it.
We thank Blogspot for everything, like they care.

The site we're moving to gives us exactly what we've been looking for, as far as enriching content while keeping it as barebones as possible.

When the Welcome mat is laid out at the new site, we will have tutorials and shit ready to make the transition as seamless as possible.
But honestly, spending 20 minutes clicking around the new site will be self-explanatory.

We are planning for the new site to be ready to roll this upcoming weekend, so we are going to be busy, because you know we never get stuff done on time.
In a perfect world, we will have a going-away party Friday night here.

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We base our entire lives around the movie Apollo 13.
So right now, we're double-checking gimble conversions before we move the guidance computer from Command Module Blogspot to the Lunar Excursion Module.

We have to stray from the script a little bit and jettison the command module instead of the LEM.
Not really. This site and its archives will always be here.
And there will be no re-entry. And we won't be freezing our balls off.
And we won't contract urinary-tract infections.

And the LEM didn't have a new upgraded yet simple Comments section.

The LEM didn't make the astronauts alter their questionable content.
And neither will the new site.

All systems go, homos.

soon.

There Could Be One Man That Could Save Your Season.

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 05:45:00 +0000

So,this has been one weird week.

Unreal shirt and Carrot.
Pat Quinn rumors.

But Eklund just upped the stakes. HOCKEYBUZZ

"Two different sources, one oversees, agree that the NJ have serious interest in Jaromir Jagr and are trying to find Jagr a way out of his Russian contract. There are several rumours that the KHL may be in deep trouble here with players across the board being asked to take serious cuts in salary midway through the season."

We know this says New Jersey, and its Eklund.

UPDATE:
Akus sent this through.
Eklund =Owned yet again.

Go to this site. [KHL]
Scroll down....

Worldwide oil.

Vomit.

Still whatev

Stranger things have happened.

Just saying.....

We'll pay for his ticket.

24-Carrot Gold

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:47:00 +0000

No word yet from Carrot City herself, although a lot of people had some info about her.

Apparently, she student-rushes every game and even makes signs in Russian for Malkin to see.
What's better is that her boyfriend and his shirt helps her make the signs in the Rush line.
And she wears skirts to games.

Actual sign.
Rough translation: "I Can Be Your Good Luck Charm."
Thanks to ROBERT C.

What's even better is that she allegedly stalks Malkin after games, chasing his car when he stops at a redlight, and tries to get him to speak in Russian to her.

Other info we've received is that she talks really loud and brags that she knows the fact that Malkin shops at Ross Park Mall.

Shero should trade for that dude's shirt.
Actually, we can cut Unreal Shirt a break, since we've been told he played ice hockey in middle school/high school.

Everything we have stated about Carrot has been fact or relayed to us as such.
Carrot and Shirt just shouldn't kiss at games. Case Closed.
They could have avoided this whole situation.

We consider this matter closed until further developments...develop.

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:: Mark Madden has made a cryptic post on his blog about unemployed coach Pat Quinn. THE X

:: Time to call up Brendan Shanahan. THE CONFLUENCE

We were thinking about doing a midseason recap.
Way too depressing. Plus we have some boxes to tape up.

No Jacket Required. PENS WIN.

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 06:41:00 +0000

One win changes nothing. Two wins change(s) nothing.

Let's face it.
Winning this game is like beating Jim Abbott in rock-paper-scissors.

But it has lifted some spirits.
So plan the parade route.

PUCK HUFFERS
A great blog that we've been checking out for a while.
No idea why we haven't linked to them before.
Maybe we did once.

eric p.

lianna

ted

VAMOSN

alex b.

daver

kretzrob

There was nothing going on to start this game off.
But things were chippy from the outset.
Kovalchuk sends a message to Malkin.

Army, who all of a sudden decided to play his game against the Penguins, was a nuisance.
He jobs Tenko. Tenko and Army dance in a very short affair.

Tenk sends Army to the ice. Army's chin sends Fedotenko's hand to the dressing room.
Uh-oh.

After some quick crap, Crosby goes off for 4 minutes for hitting that dude he hit in the balls.
This time, he appeased the whiners around the league by hitting him as far away from his junk as possible.
The Pens kill off the 4-minute penalty.
That had a chance to be bad.

Armstrong was at it again after the PP when he takes a run at Bing.
They slap-fight for a while, and Army goes off.
The Pens get a power play. Yeah, right. One shot.

The Pens started generating some business for the remainder of the period.
Kennedy has an unreal chance, but he takes an hour to shoot.
Atlanta calmed the Pens attack down by putting them on the PP. Genius move.

Well, maybe not so genius. Hey, is that Sykora out there? Goal. 1-0.

And it is really sad that the Pens' first PP goal since Prohibition gets shown up by some dude in an unreal shirt making out with a carrot.

Upon further review, apparently the Pens have added a make-out section to the Mellon Arena.
Again -- what a shirt.

Kid top left = stunned

Face of the year.
Where did this girl think she was going tonight?

Late addition. Different "angle."
The guy in the white hat is the key. He is sitting next to them. Is it a three way dance?

Thanks to everyone that sent these in.
These pictures might need their own blog at one point.

We can't resist:

If you own a shirt like that, you don't read our blog. Period.
She is actually a different color. Unreal.
How long have they been dating? Smart money is on two weeks or maybe even a first date?
What section is this in?
How many times has she cheated on him?
EMPTY NETTERS ran a great piece on Jersey fouls a few weeks ago. Seth needs to make another set of fouls for goal celebration for fans. Making out with your partner is number one, no questions asked. You can't do this.
But the biggest question: What is the right thing to do? Do you give your girlfriend a high five? Do you hug your wife? What is the rule for going to a game and celebrating a goal with your partner?

UPDATE:
A reader was there:

"I lost it when I saw your writing on this couple. I literally sat 4
people to their left. I am at the very right side of the east igloo. they
were right outside in the normal seats, making it section B6. The picture
really doesn't even do justice to how orange the girl's skin was... and
the guy looked liked he was selling crack."

Oh, there is a game.

Staal washing-machines a shot soon after, and Malkin gives Colby a DDT.
We forgot what a solid period looked like.

Early on in the second, Staal had a chance coming out of the corner. Yeah, right.

Atlanta keeps hanging around, but MAF is solid, and Atlanta blows.

We complain how bad the Pens have been, but we feel bad for Atlanta fans.
Not really.

Some meaningless faceoff in the second period when you coming back from taking a pee turns into cash money.
Malkin jokes some guy.

Where the hell would the Pens be without Sykora?
2-0

Almost midway through the period, some idiot takes a penalty.
Pens set things up.
Malkin tags Bing in. Deflectionblog for the MegaPowers.

3-0

Micheal Bolton gets some Free Candy before the intermission.
Can't wait for the pic of John Tavares and Ludacris next year down in the ATL.

Look, nothing really even happened in the third period, but if the Pens were playing a decent team, they could have lost.

About halfway through the period, the Pens get a 5-0n-3.
Now, this is what we are talking about:
During the 5-on-3, Petr Sykora gets no time with the first unit.

We don't know jack. But that is a mistake. Jordan Staal shouldn't even be on Wilkes Barre's powerplay right now. Make the game 4-0 and it's smooth sailing. But no, let the Thrashers off the hook, and Kovaljoke nails one home.
3-1.

Right after that, Atlanta almost scores.
If they would have come back, at least seven people wouldn't have made it through the night.

The Thrashers do get a powerplay.
Head coach John Anderson calls a timeout to figure out who he looks like.

No dice.

The rest of the game was cake.

[Theresa V]
Game.

MISCELLANEOUS

The game in Nashville is the biggest game of the season.
You can have Kovaljoke. Don't want him.
Atlanta's goalie is solid. How did they get so bad?
Andre Savard blinked. He is still alive.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Strange night in the NHL.

Ruutu bites Peters:

Wow.

Blood in Chicago:

Ouch.

Go Pens.

GAMEDAY [41] -- Atlanta Thrashers

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:30:00 +0000

Pens lose this.
Heads roll.

This one goes out to our boy Therrien.

One more night......

No One Knows What's Going On. PENS LOSE.

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 07:25:00 +0000

If confidence was AIDS, Magic Johnson would be a healthy scratch for the Pens every night.

Ray Shero has come out recently saying that he is in fact staying the course with the Pens core talent, through thick and thin.

We're not sure whether "thick" or "thin" refers to the hard times.
If this is the thick times, there's no question Sally Struthers was at MSG Monday night.

Picture: Struthers all smiles after eating someone's family.

If this is the thin part of the idiom, then we're living in an episode of The Hills.

All aboard the skank bus

ian

steven seagal

jlk

The Steelers come out, and Antonio Cromartie takes Big Ben for a pick-6 right off the bat. Oh, wait. That's Sunday.

Talbot got some garbage penalty right off the bat. Rob Shick made it known that it was his intention to ref the worst game of his life.

Wow.

Goal. 1-0.

Deflection City.
Surprised Therrien didn't pull Fleury.

The Pens were getting fewer bounces than Ellen Degeneres on a trampoline.
It was good to be back in MSG.

Orpik got douched in the face. The blood pours. 4 minutes power play.
The first minute was all Crosby, but it was all Lundqvist, too. Big-time save(s). Maybe he should get some more pads. Get real.

Crosby ends up drawing a penalty that Eddie O. refuses to look at.
The replay clearly shows Kalinin grab Bing's stick between Crosby's hands.
So obvious on the replay.
Keith Jones is a joke, too.

The ref has to go back and look at one of Bing's shots.
He makes an awkward announcement of NO GOAL.

The Rangers could have pulled Lundqvist during the Pens 5-on-3.
Wouldn't have mattered.
Jordan Staal, who is exuding the confidence of a fat 13-year-old girl, eventually took an interference penalty against his brother that was more baffling to us than the actual penalty that Edzo was baffled about.
Maybe one of the worst calls in the last 35 years.

If you were playing the Staal Brother drinking game, you probably had your stomach pumped, peed in someone's clothes hamper, and texted an ex-girlfriend before the puck dropped again.

The Rags eventually had a mud PP for about 11 seconds that you expected them to score on.

After Cooke and some joke went off, it was 4-on-4 .
Malkin and Staal come down on a 2-on-1.
For some reason we're still trying to contemplate, Staal completely misses the net.
Seriously. That was so bizarre.

After nothing and more nothing, Blair Betts takes a penalty.
Was anyone even excited about a power play?

Kennedy had a decent chance in front, but Lundqvist with the poke check.
It suddenly hits you that the Pens haven't scored a legit goal since 1952.

The second period started with the Pens on a power play or something.
Staal broke his stick and kicks the boards on the bench in anger.
We'll get news on Tuesday that Staal is out 4-6 weeks with a broken foot.
Pens commence a 25-game winning streak. wooo

Crosby took a penalty to the delight of Rangers fans. They all team together for a rousing chant. Whatev. Killed.
Crosby came out of the box like a rocket. Probably the fast we've seen him skate all year.
It resulted in an attempted pass through three Rangers.

Malkin and Sykora had a 2-on-0 for an hour halfway through the period.
If it's NHL 09, you wait and set up a cross-crease one-timer.
If you're Malkin, you aim for Lundqvist's glove. Big save.

Malkin drew a penalty later.
Crosby took a penalty two seconds later. Rob Shick was actually making things up at one point.
Assistant coach Andre Savard gets an erection then passes out, confirming he is still alive.

The Rangers scored. 2-0. Paul Mara. That's a shame.

The Pens got a power play soon after.
Guess what.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if Jordan Staal wasn't a joke.

Does Petr Sykora not have 9 power play goals this season?
We're confused?

Imagine trying to have sex with your girlfriend after a day where she lost her job, got into a car accident with an athiest that resulted in a puppy dying, Sex and the City got cancelled, and Oprah told every woman watching her show not to touch a man's testicles for a week.

That's the kind of challenge that awaited Orpik or Letang when they were setting up shop behind MAF in the third period.

There's nothing wrong with having faith in your favorite sports team to overcome a deficit in the last segment of a game.
If you had that same feeling in this third period, you are delusional.

You didn't even really have to watch the third period.
You could have just went to your uncle's house, went into his laundry room, and killed yourself.

We almost made it through the entire game without seeing the clip of the Staal brothers skating in the hinterlands of Canada when they were little.
100 bucks that Joe Beninati is black.

The Rangers scored again.

3-0.

Rangers fans chant CROSBY SUCKS.
Long time Pens fan T.L. Wo Wung Balls Chiu has seen enough.

Orpik dropped Orr somewhere in there.
Orr came back next time out and went after Orpik.
The Pens had a power play.

Therrien calls the all-important timeout and pulls MAF.
Finally, he takes our advice.

Gomez goes down all by himself.
4-0.
Peace.

We're kind of upset that Therrien didn't keep Fleury pulled.
Orr and Godard drop the gloves. No comment.

What a helpless feeling as Rangers fans mock the Pens.
Go to hell.

MISCELLANEOUS

Pens powerplay 0-32?
Why do they not play Sykora on the powerplay?
What a joke.
Natrone Means was unreal.
Can't wait to unleash the mid-season recap on Thursday.

We've traded Splinter to a Portland Trail Blazers blog for a month of free internet access.

GAMEDAY 40 -- NEW YORK RANGERS

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:18:00 +0000

Madison Square Garden.
Pretty much the last place you'd want the Pens to play tonight.

And for that reason:

We are guaranteeing a win.

Go Pens

Change Is Coming

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 10:30:00 +0000

STEELERTRIBUTE

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:: Some joke from FOX SPORTS gets in on the Bash-Crosby party. Yawn.
Don't feel bad if you've never heard of him because even Fox Sports doesn't know who he is.

At this point, every time Crosby does/doesn't do something, some guy who thinks he's clever will job Crosby, thinking they look tough doing it. When people outside of Pittsburgh all of a sudden become "Crosby experts" when Crosby does something, it insults everyone's intelligence.

"Oh, Bettman won't touch his annointed one."
Are we still using this as a premise for an article, guys? Seriously?

We admit that our perception of Crosby differs from the other 29 NHL cities for reasons that are self-explanatory. But it's pretty offensive when people who don't watch Crosby on a game-by-game basis come out of the woodwork when he does something questionable and act like they're delivering an educated opinion. No, you're not. You can't bullshit a bullshitter.

As we've said, we have no problem with what Crosby "did." If you forget where you're at right now, this is a couple of Pens fans' blog about the Pittsburgh Penguins.
If Crosby would have attacked the dude in an airport or at his house, we still would not care.

It still amazes us how other people's jealousy about us having Crosby shows itself.

:: Speaking of fighting though. Check out some Baby Pens action. We miss Biz Nasty.

[Eric P]

:: And just to end on a depressing note, Mike Zigomanis is now on IR. PENGUINS.COM

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Joke.
For the record, we would have made a last-second push to get MAF in.
But Price came into Pittsburgh recently and was lights-out while MAF still hasn't shown up for that one.
That was the decider, for us, anyway.

We don't post personal pictures about the Pens, blah blah blah.
But JEANETTE K. and her sister, who are from Pittsburgh, are in NYC for the game tonight and saw Miro Satan in Times Square walking around by himself.

We'd end this with a snide comment about Satan underperforming this year.
But it's not worth it.

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And lastly, we wanted to wish good luck to our good friend Kevin from Melrose Rocks.
He is leaving the blogging world for a while.
Melrose Rocks will still be up and running, though, and we wish Dave, Ryan, and Loser Domi the best.

Go Pens

Bang The Drum Slowly

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 06:33:00 +0000

This is not the easiest of times.
But when all else fails, make fun of the Washington Capitals.

Watch this fight between Semin and Marc Staal:

Now that's embarrassing.
It is a cross between a bitch fight and someone beating a bongo drum.

Idiot.

Thanks to [Puck Daddy for the assist.]

Rock Bottom. PENS LOSE.

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 22:58:00 +0000

It's embarassing when you make Craig Anderson look like Patrick Roy.
You know what's worse? The Panthers had lost 4 straight coming into this one.

Patience is wearing extremely thin.

Just when you thought Panthers couldn't win in Pittsburgh.

Is a better effort to be expected from a team that's spending to the cap while bringing two superstars to the table every night? Absolutely.

It's kind of stupid for any human being to be personally offended that their favorite sports team is underperforming/sucking balls.

We aren't offended. We just like to see the Pens win every now and then.

As far as this game is concerned:
Hindsight is always 20/20, but you don't pull Fleury after that first period.
There's just no way, no how.
His first goal was a joke. Second goal shouldn't even factor into the equation.

Sabu comes in cold as ice and gives up three goals. Game was over.
MAF just as easily could have given up 3 goals in that second period.

We've built up a track record of jobbing people whose first solution to the Pens' problems is to fire Therrien. But it's getting to that point. Fast.

Ask Shero and 66 if what's going on right now is acceptable.

The washing machine known as the Pittsburgh Penguins was all business to start off the game.
They get a quick PP as a reward.
The power play was joke city. Did they even get a shot? Jesus. 0-2o something in the last five games is a disgrace.
Our personal "stay the course" shit is wearing thin.

Max Talbot made an unreal move and had a chance to bury it.
But he tries to pass it through a Panther laying on the ice.
There's definitely a difference between yelling SHOOT on that play and when Goligoski tries to one-time a puck through someone's kneecap.

Dupuis had quick breakaway. At least he got a shot off.
It should have been 7-0 by that point.
It was also good to see Kennedy back.

Hal Gill got docked, and the Pens had to kill a penalty.
They did kill it, but they didn't. 1-0. Unreal.

If you play dek hockey, pick up ice hockey, or even online video games you know when you come out flying, and don't get a goal, and the other team doesn't try and gets one. It sucks the life out of you.
Thats what happened.

Matt Cooke leveled Jokemeester somewhere in there.

Late in the period, Whitney ran pinchblog, not knowing that Tim Horton was at Giant Eagle buying some cherries.

The resulting 2-on-1 results in a goal. 2-0.

If you've even looked at the NHL standings this year, you know the Panthers are talking about playoff contention. They don't have stars, their goalie sounds like he's a backup quarterback, and no one knows who their coach is, so you just know they have a sound defensive game.
The 2-0 lead looked daunting.

The Pens capped off the first period on a penalty kill.
Fleury shakier than Michael J. Fox.

Vomit

HCMT put Alex P. Keaton in the runway to start the second.
Sabu City leads the Pens out of the tunnel.

Less than two minutes into the second, Fedotenko got the Pens on the board with a Plinko. 2-1.
Big goal, but it still felt empty.

Over the course of about 4 minutes halfway through the second, the Panther struck twice. 4-1.
Vomit. HCMT calls a timeout.

It isn't out of the question to think that Therrien asked the boys if they had had enough of this shit.

Before you knew it, Talbot drops the gloves with Bruce Campbell.
Next faceoff, Crosby attacks John McClane.

We've seen this song before when it has come to the Penguins and the Panthers.

EMPTY NETTERS brought that up again, and Seth also found this from Panthers player Nick Boynton:

"That was just embarrassing. I can understand a little bit what he was trying to do, but that's a not a very professional move. You ask a guy to fight. You don't jump a guy when his head is down taking a faceoff. That's pretty immature and childish. He's just, whatever. He's not happy with the way things are going and he was trying to get his team going. But there's no need for that.''

Crosby had this to say:

We'll believe Crosby on this one.
Already we are hearing crap from people saying it was "cheap."

Crosby is damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

Its a fight, who cares.
There are way more problems at hand.

Malkin gets a breakway on the ensuing PK, but Anderson stops him. Buries It you-know-what.
The crowd was in it, the Pens were flying.

They were playing on pure emotion, and the Panthers took advantage.
Unreal pass to spring Tim Horton on a breakaway. Buried. 5-1.

The fans give Sabu the Bronx cheer the next time he makes a save.
Stunned.

Goal. 6-1.

Rock Bottom

The remainder of the third period disappeared mercifully.
They should've pulled MAF for the extra attacker for the entire third period.

Longtime Pens fans, and LGP message board poster B.D Wong has seen enough:

Consider the Pensblog PANIC button officially pressed.

MISCELLANEOUS

Just saying.
We call people by the wrong names on purpose. If you don't get that, go to hell.
One win doesn't make this better
Burn the blue jersey.
Vomit

God help us.

GAMEDAY 39 -- FLORIDA PANTHERS

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 16:00:00 +0000

1:00 PM
What a bad time for a game.

Usually Florida celebrates New Years by getting eliminated from the playoffs.
Not this year.

The Panthers are right on the Pens balls for a playoff spot.
They really don't have any big names, but they have a bunch of solid players.

Huge game for the Pens who haven't played a decent game at home this year---ruff ruff ruff

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

:: Rumor has it JFK and Gods are playing today, but we have no confirmation of that.

:: Gonch getting ready. TRIB

But then again the TRIB employs Rob Rossi.

What a hat.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

EMPTY NETTERS had this yesterday.

No idea.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Pens need to get this shit going.

Let's kick the tires and light the fires.

woooooo

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 04:45:00 +0000

Big Alex News

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:00:00 +0000

If you're like us, you pull out your phone while you're taking an immaculate dump and scroll through your e-mails. Sitting there long enough without having any turd action is rumored to be a cause of hemorrhoids.

OvechkinFans.com, a website whose name speaks for itself, was the website responsible for the scans of that MAXIM article. If you recall, we didn't have the first part of the article because Caps fans don't know how to use computers.

Well, we were put in our place by Bruce Lee via e-mail on Friday morning:

Hey there - I feel dirty for even writing that email address of yours but whatever... I run ovechkinfans.com ... you know, for Ovechkin, the player that PIT fans claimed they liked just as much as Crosby when OV edged your hero for the Calder. Just wanted to bring this to your attention...

"It's the overall tone of the article that has even the Capitals organization itself pretty upset.
Here's a SCAN of the second part of the article.
If Caps fans knew how to use computers, we'd have the first half of the article."
(Pensblog Note: Unreal sentences right there.)

This Caps fan works for the biggest IT company in the world doing web applications so I'm pretty sure I can use a computer. The fact that imageshack decided to remove or "lose" that particular image should have crossed your mind. It was fine the first few days it was there. I could scan the first page again... but I don't feel like it right now. Best of luck to you guys.

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Wait wait. When did Pens fans claim they liked Ovechkin as much as Crosby when Ovie won the Calder over him? Unreal. He probably saw one person say it on a message board and then just made sweeping assumptions about the entire Pens fanbase. That kind of stuff is dangerous.

Bruce then quotes us saying that we question Caps fans' abilities to use computers.
Does this guy even realize we tried to initiate a league-wide movement to get Ovie into the ASG starting lineup? Of course, after that debacle, we are seriously questioning Caps fans' dedication to Ovechkin as well as their ability to use 20th- and 21st-century technology.

We had hate running through our veins when we read up to that point in this e-mail.
But this guy won us over when he starts his final paragraph referring to himself as "This Caps fan," which is how a professional wrestler would refer to himself. Unreal.

We sent along this e-mail while hemorrhoids were forming:

Hey man. We figured something like that happened with the scan. We
couldn't pass up throwing caps fans' computer skills under the bus,
though. We sure wish we ran a site devoted solely to another man like
you do. Have a good 2009.

The Pens play again in like 8 minutes.

Is Brendan Shanahan In The Best Shape Of His Life? PENS LOSE.

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 05:26:00 +0000

We're not ones to start spreading rumors, but then again, we are only repeating things we saw unfold.

During the first period, we tried listening to the radio side of the broadcast, but it was way out of sync. But before we switch, Mike Lange and the Ol' 29er were talking about how the Penguins practiced at Harvard University recently.

We didn't think anything of it until Steiggy and Errey were talking about it, as well.
And it's not so much what they said, but the video they showed.

That's Brendan Shanahan.
So the Penguins just happened to be practicing in the same place Brendan Shanahan is working out.

Interesting if nothing else...
[Thanks to Eric P as usual]

Anyways, take the fact that the Pens are in a slump right now, and treat it as if this was just a loss during a hot streak. No idea what that means.

It is not that bad of a loss. They played a solid third period.
Bottom line -- if you can't score a power-play goal when you really have to, you're not going to win.

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Storyblog for reader John B.

Pensblog,
9 of us piled into 2 cars and drove from Altoona Pennsylvania to Boston to see the Guins on New Years day...fail. We were part of a 30 person group of pens fans...the loudest 30 people in the building. Boston fans suck. they can't heckle for shit, "pittsburgh sucks!" "At least we can sell out our arena" "Pittsburgh sucks!" "Doing better than than the pats" "hows ben worthlessberger doing?" "he's in the playoffs, we'll tell you when he gets back" "Pittsburgh sucks!" "new insult please?" Maybe we could make a good will offering of a thesaurus to the fans of Boston. That place was so quiet I considered asking where the tween fiction section was but i couldn't find the librarian.

Solid

Kyle K

Lowell

Lizzie V.

Early on, the Pens at least matched the Bruins' intensity.
Some hard work in the Bruins zone led to Dustin Jeffrey's first NHL goal. 1-0.
He should be the face of the NHL.

The Pens hollow 1-0 lead was gone faster than a 13-year-old boy's virginity at Diesel.
The Bruins came right back and tied it up. 1-1.

Crosby drew some phantom penalty a little bit after that, and the Pens went on the power play.
Some chances, but no dice.

Goligoski threw the puck over the glass after the PP expired, and the Bruins had their own PP.
PJ Axelsson camps in front of Sabu and got hit stick on a puck. 2-1.

The Bruins make it look easy.

The Bruins had another chance on the PP soon afterwards when Max Talbot went off for hooking.
The Bruins almost executed the Chara Play. The Pens shut that play down, and eventually the penalty.

The Pens were given the last PP of the first period, but they couldn't get the job done.
Period.

Vote for MAF. Last chance before the polls close.

Screw A.O.
How big of joke is it that Caps fans couldn't get together to get him in.
The Capitals PR department blew this one.

The second period is a blur.
Don't blame Sabu for this one. He played his balls off.

Lucic is kind of a dick.

But he puts the B's up 3-1.
Just a devasting goal, because the Pens were working hard, and the Bruins just roll down and score.

Rough times.

The Pens came out like nobody's business to start off the third.
Joke.

Matt Cooke takes a penalty, and Bob Errey is incredulous.
The Bruins were ready to put the final nail in, but the Pens killed it.

Momentum City.
Malkin, Satan, and Fedotenko team up. 3-2.

FSN shows two Pens fans after the goal about to make out.
That's how big the goal was.

The Pens spent the next few minutes all-systems-go.
They had the Bruins running.
But Matt Cooke goes off for goalie interference. Ouch.

The Pens kill it again. Big-time kill.

We were waiting for the Pens to get another good crack on the power play, and they finally got their chance with under 6 minutes left.
This was it.
Even with a timeout halfway through, the Pens can't capitalize.
Unreal.

Marc Savard eventually buries an empty-netter from way downtown.

Game.

MISCELLANEOUS

The losing streak ends Saturday
Bruins are the real deal
2009 is gay

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Don't forget:

Ovechkin Photoshop City

DEADLINE: TUESDAY, JANUARY 13. MIDNIGHT.

**Put "OVECHKIN" in your subject line somewhere or else the e-mail may be overlooked.
**Don't forget to put your initials on the photoshop.

UPDATE:
Vintage A.O.

“It was an accident and I’m very sorry,” Ovechkin said. “I never want to hurt somebody, especially my old teammate. It’s hard and I’m very sorry, but it’s a game and it’s a moment. He turns and I have speed. … I hope he is OK.”

Go Pens

GAMEDAY 38 -- BOSTON BRUINS

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 22:52:00 +0000

7:00

The Pens themselves effectively pushed their collective PANIC button when they had a players-only meeting after the loss to the Bruins the other night.

People have shied away from throwing HCMT to the wolves.
It's looking more and more like it's an issue amongst the Pens themselves.
We'd make stuff up about what we think it might be, but we have no idea.

But, Therrien's fault or not, when your owner is spending to the cap, you're defending ECF champions, and you have two of the top talents in the league leading the charge, missing the playoffs isn't an option.

We have slowly been conjuring up an assessment of Therrien, and we think that he is a great motivational coach for a young team, but he may not be the guy when it comes to working with and utilizing a number of world-class players.

If you don't agree with that, then, hey, this is a blog.
If the Pens rattle off 22 straight wins, we'll say Therrien is a beast. So whatev.

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Apparently Alex Ovechkin chews tobacco.
It first came to light back in October in a magazine article somewhere.

Who cares?
At least he doesn't chew when he's actually on the rink, as opposed to professional baseball players.

But Capitals blogs and PUCK DADDY are up in arms about a recent MAXIM article on Ovechkin that portrayed him in a "negative" light.

Here's a snippet of it:

When we initially saw this, we thought the Caps fans were overreacting.
But the mention of the chewing tobacco isn't what's pissing them off.

It's the overall tone of the article that has even the Capitals organization itself pretty upset.
Here's a SCAN of the second part of the article.
If Caps fans knew how to use computers, we'd have the first half of the article.

Whatever the gripe, our thought on this is that the people around Ovechkin don't care at all about how he comes off to the public. People want this guy to be the face of the NHL? Come on.

We can take other teams' fans' word when they say Crosby is overmarketed by the NHL.
We're used to seeing Crosby 24/7, so seeing him in two consecutive commercials during the Winter Classic doesn't make us flinch.

So we can accept when fans cry about Crosby being the face of the NHL.
There's been growing a circle jerk surrounding the idea of Ovechkin deserving to be the face of the NHL.

Look at those two pictures above.
If you're trying to market your game to casual and/or non-fans, use the clean-cut ~~American~~ Canadian boy.

Case closed.
We've always said Ovechkin is a douche.
Making a magazine journalist sit in the backseat when they're doing an interview pretty much cements that.

Ovechkin Photoshop City
DEADLINE: TUESDAY, JANUARY 13. MIDNIGHT.

**Put "OVECHKIN" in your subject line somewhere or else the e-mail may be overlooked.

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Winter Classic looked pretty sharp on TV.

We understand the mystique of Wrigley Field, but the NHL can't do another game in a baseball stadium that seats 42,000.

Seeing the Big House in Ann Arbor filled to capacity for a Red Wings game would leave a more lasting impression on a casual fan flipping through the channels.
Ann Arbor's less than a hour from Detroit. What a mistake.

Finally, if the NHL doesn't have at least one Canadian team in the Classic next year, they really have no clue about this "going back to the roots of hockey" stuff.

Canadiens vs. Maple Leafs in an open-roofed Rogers Centre Skydome Whatev.
January 1, 2010.
We'll be severely disappointed if it isn't.

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You can always expect a good YouTube during a live event.

Time to clean up the mess

Happy New Year GameDay

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 17:54:00 +0000

Brad B.

Looks Like We're In For Nasty Weather. PENS LOSE.

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 07:46:00 +0000

We thought this game was gonna be like a classic episode of Home Improvement.
Instead, it turned into an episode of Family Feud when Al Borland hosted it.
What a mistake.

It's like every home game now is an AFC Championship Game at Three Rivers.
The only difference is that we don't even know where we're going with this.
Cowher was a joke.

The Pens beat the Bruins 2-1 in a shootout back in the 7th game of the season.
We had this to say:

"As far as the Bruins are concerned, they are solid.
They'll be in the playoffs.
If we go any more in-depth than that, we'll shoot ourselves."

It still rings true.

Is there trouble brewing in Pittsburgh? Yes.
If there wasn't trouble, we'd be worried.
You want your team to be pissed, and the Pens look beyond pissed at this point.

The thing about all of this is that you get more spin than you can even handle.

In the [PG] recently:

"But in this case, even players speaking strictly for background information, with no possibility of their identities being revealed, absolved Therrien of responsibility for the Penguins' struggles."

Even notorious Therrien critics like Mark Madden and Rob Rossi
haven't really approached the subject.

And let's face it.
This has nothing to do with Therrien or Mike Yeo or even Andre Savard.

This is a slump. The players either come out of it or they don't.
If you don't realize that, you shouldn't be allowed to watch TV.

This is an NHL season.
This is adversity at its absolute finest. No one is happy.

But this isn't our first rodeo.
The season starts now. Hold onto your balls.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

We didn't feel like crediting anthems.

The Bruins and the Pens come out flying. Good hockey. Tim Thomas shows why he ain't no joke.
The Bruins are relentless. But Fleury matches Thomas save for save.

Mark Eaton gets called for a penalty, but the Pens kill it off.

Chara tells Malkin to go tell it on the mountain with a big check.

After more MAF saves, the man with two first names, Dustin Jeffrey, gets a harmless shot on net. Tim Thomas has no idea what's going on.

Petr Gunn.

1-0

Everything was going fine until the Pens got called for a penalty.
Chara goes to the backdoor.
Top shelf.

1-1

The Pens get sent to sinbin city again.
Bad call, whatever.

Marc Savard makes them pay, short side high. 2-1

Things were calm until the Bruins turned it over.
Crosby plays shortshop, gets it to Dupes.
Dupuis Play™.

Weirdest picture of all time:

2-2

The good times were short lived.
Phil Kessel buries a Savard pass. 3-2
Pens still improved the play through the second.
As usual, they were in the game going into the third.

There are moments in a game and ina season that make a difference.
After killing another penalty, Dupes and Staal roll down on a 2-1.

Staal's redirection at a wide-open net almost hit somebody in F.
That was bad.
This entire game pretty much hinged on him burying that.

As we all dreamed, the Pens finally get a powerplay, but the Bruins get a shorthanded goal.

Vomit city.
4-2

Bruins added another goal just to make you sick. 5-2.

If there's a Baby Pen who has left his impression on the big club, it's Tim Wallace.
He had seen enough in the third period and goes head-to-shoulders with Lucic.
Lucic needs some Tums 'cause he ate Wallace's lunch for him.

What a pic.

Game.

MISCELLANEOUS

Surprised Big Ben wasn't at the Arena.
Therrien's post-game presser = Intense.
Pens held a closed-door players meeting after the game.
Tim Thomas is like a chastity belt.

Let 2008 burn.

Go Pens

GAMEDAY 37 -- BOSTON BRUINS

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 22:30:00 +0000

Pens haven't won at home in forever.
We're guessing that Islanders blowout. We don't care to look.
And the Bruins always seem to give them a tough time.

The Bruins haven't played a real hockey team in a while...
They're not as good as everyone thinks they are...
Blah blah blah blah.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

:: Pens are a mess at home and shit. [TRIB]

:: Top 10 moments in 2008. [SWEATERTED]

We personally don't do year(s) in review(s).
We have the halfway mark of the season coming up, which we grab by the balls.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Tim Thomas thinks it will be an easy win for the Bruins tonight.

I don't think so Tim.

Whatev

noreply@blogger.com (Pensblog Staff) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 06:52:00 +0000

It wasn't even worth getting out of bed today, let alone coming here.
Hal Gill is back tonight.

[PenguinsExperience] with a great youtube.

Good stuff.

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The Caps retired Mike Gartner or something. We could care less.
But check out his banner:

Nice

Thanks to [Hooks]

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Some of the stuff we get in our e-mail.......

No idea. That bitch on the right is all kinds of messed up.
Thanks [Nicholas]

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

You have no idea what it's like to be stopped at a red light and checking your e-mail and you get the following e-mail with these picture attached:

Around my house, we use the word "Holmstrom" instead of "get the fuck outta my way". If one of the dogs is under my feet, if my wife is blocking the refrigerator, or if somebody is blocking a doorway, we call them "Holmstrom". Anybody else do that? Check out the pics I'm sending you of my awesome Satan Penguins mask. I wore it to the San Jose Sharks game this year, and with any luck, I will get to wear it again when the Pens meet the Sharks for the Stanley Cup Finals. It will not be the Wings this year. Hopefully. By the way, I live in Sacramento. So when that commercial with dude making his flat screen tv behind the glass in his garage while wearing a Crosby shirt comes on, I really get a kick out of it. That is exactly what the houses look like out here in suburbia.

Reader [Mike S]

Go Pens