Oklahoma is strong and will recover, but I wanted to ask for your prayers today.

- For those who are suffering in Oklahoma today. Many have lost their homes.
- For those who are grief-stricken. People have lost loved ones.
- For the rescue and aid workers who are trying to assist as many people as possible.
- For those who feel hopeless or helpless. They need hope. And help.

The need is so great right now. Thank you for your prayers.

If you are able, here are some other ways to help. Most of these are the “standard” avenues of assistance, but are very effective. I’m continually looking for the best ways to get help to the affected areas and will keep you posted as I hear.

UPDATE: NewsOK has a great page of many local organizations and drop-off centers. Check these if you live in Oklahoma! NewsOK: How to Help Tornado Victims

Salvation Army
Supporters are encouraged to give online at www.SalvationArmyUSA.org or by calling 1-800-SAL-ARMY (1-800-725-2769). You can also text the word “STORM” to 80888 to make a $10 donation through your mobile phone; to confirm your gift, respond with the word “Yes.”

Samaritan’s Purse
Samaritan’s Purse has deployed a team to Moore, Oklahoma and will respond to the current needs in any way they can.

Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma
The Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma, in partnership with Oklahoma Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster, is asking that the public support all rescue, recovery and disaster relief efforts with donations of cash to your favorite responding charity. Financial donations will allow disaster relief agencies to purchase whatever items are deemed necessary without resulting in the additional burden of securing warehouse space and volunteers to work donated product.
To make a tax deductible donation to the Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma, go to www.regionalfoodbank.org or call 604-7111 or text FOOD to 32333 to give $10 to relief efforts.

Feeding America
Feeding America will deliver truckloads of food, water and supplies to impacted areas through its network of more than 200 food banks and 61,000 agencies. The organization’s food banks will also set up additional dropoff sites.

Convoy of Hope
International humanitarian relief organization Convoy of Hope is responding to the Moore, Okla. area this morning. Immediately after the devastating tornadoes struck, a Convoy of Hope assessment team was in the area and tractor-trailers were loaded with emergency supplies at Convoy of Hope’s World Distribution Center in Springfield, Missouri.
Those wishing to make a contribution to the OKC and Midwest tornado relief efforts can make a secure online contribution by visiting: http://www.convoyofhope.org. To place a $10 donation on your cellular bill, text the word CONVOY to 50555. Standard text and data rates apply.

UMCOR (United Methodist Committee on Relief)
100% of Oklahoma-directed donations will go toward relief efforts.

American Red Cross
People who wish to make a donation can support American Red Cross Disaster Relief, which helps provide food, shelter and emotional support to those affected by disasters like the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma and Texas as well as disasters big and small throughout the United States by visiting redcross.org, dialing 1-800-REDCROSS or texting REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation.

Central OK Humane Society (For the pets left homeless and injured.)
Currently greatest need is financial donations to help treat and house lost and injured animals. Current in-kind needs are: Towels, paper towels, bleach, gloves, and crates. All donations can be taken to either Central Park Dog Daycare location (2905 NW 70th and 5420 N. Classen Blvd.) Pet food donations may be taken there as well.

Thank you for sending your love and prayers to Oklahoma. This is our home and it’s hard to see the suffering.

Love,
PW

Dear PW:

I am 26 and got married last July to my closest friend from college. He’s an amazing guy. Unfortunately I was in love and in a relationship with someone else but marriage was not in our cards for various reasons. In the end I was forced to give up on it and move on. It’s been terribly hard. Because what we shared had been special to both of us.

I am learning to move on but sometimes I get lost and I wonder how it would’ve been being married to the other person. I know this might sound like some stupid teenage relationship thing but its not. I am very family oriented. I haven’t had any other boyfriend. I’m just a born mothering soul who loves the intricacies of being a wife and a future mom. Sometimes being torn makes me feel guilty…like I’m being unfair to the wonderful man I am married to, who loves me very much.

I realize you haven’t been in my shoes but do you have any advice at all?

Love
Torn

 
Dear Torn,

You don’t say the circumstances that caused you to leave the first relationship and marry someone else, so I’ll have to just answer in general terms. I do think it’s normal to occasionally remember relationships in your past. They were part of the building blocks of who you are and how you love now, and provided the relationships were good, they shouldn’t be the cause of any regret. On the flip side, I don’t think it’s a good idea to think too much about “what-ifs.” You have to remember that there were reasons you and your previous boyfriend did not get married. They must have been good reasons—good enough to bring the relationship to a halt. So maybe a more helpful exercise would be for you to turn your what-ifs toward the potential problems that would have come about had you married him—had you pushed through whatever the obstacles were and married him anyway. Again, I don’t know the circumstances. But it’s easy, now that those obstacles and problems are no longer in the forefront, to remember only the good feelings you had when you were with him. But next time they come up, make yourself go one step further and remind yourself of the reasons you’re not together in the first place.

Then go hang out with the amazing guy (your description!) you’re married to. I’ll bet he’d love it.

Love,
P-Widdle Diddle

Dear Pioneer Woman:

I do not like my sister-in-law. If it were up to me, we would only talk at family gatherings, which occur every other month or so when we get together for birthday parties for the kids and holidays and such. My reason for disliking her is that she loves to gossip and tell lies. She LOVES drama, and if there is no drama going on she will make some up. I can tolerate her at the family gatherings, because she cannot gossip there because everyone is there together. In spite of my efforts to keep contact with her to a minimum, she constantly calls and texts me to tell me how my sisters or mother said nasty things about her or how my brother (her husband) is a horrible person and then she will say something like ‘don’t tell anyone I said this’ and ‘I just had to tell you this because you are the only person I trust.’ I will not go in to detail about the lies she spreads, but I know my family, and I know they are lies.

Now, I was raised to be polite, and I answer the phone when she calls, but I do my best to cut the calls of short by claiming I cannot talk at the moment, or that I have plans when she invites me over. I tend to just ignore the text messages, which means she calls more. I thought about simply ignoring her calls altogether, but as her youngest son was very ill recently I answer in case it is an emergency. My sisters and I have discussed her, and she does this to each of us, she calls each of us to tell lies about the others, and although we know they are lies, the situation is getting rather old. My question is, do you have any advice on a polite way to ask her to quit calling me and telling me lies about what awful people my family members are?

Thank you,
Dreading the Drama

 
Dear Dreading:

First, and you probably have already figured this out, it might help for you to realize that your sister-in-law is likely coming from a place of insecurity and, perhaps, unhappiness. Not that that is an excuse for her behavior (which is, understandably, a real burden for you), but it will help you to understand where she’s coming from.

I think you answered your own question in the last sentence of your question: “Do you have any advice on a polite way to ask her to quit calling me and telling me lies about what awful people my family members are?” I believe you definitely need to be up front with your sister-in-law that you want to be there for her, but you simply can no longer listen to her disparaging your family, whom you love very much.

Often, these types of behaviors quickly become habit with some folks—it certainly seems like it has become a habit for your sister-in-law to deal with stress and anxiety by unloading on anyone who will listen. So what you need to do is short circuit that habit by showing her, in a polite way, that she can’t go there with you. What may happen over time is that your friendship with her might have a chance to develop in a healthy way. Once she begins to understand that you aren’t interested in hearing the negative, she might direct more positive conversation your way.

Love,
PW

Dear Pioneer Woman,

Hi! I have a question about cooking and life. I’m a 16 year old home schooled girl who loves cooking. I’ve learned so much on your blog and by experimenting and trying new recipes. I really want to expand my cooking skills (and I do everything from scratch, btw! no cake mixes, or canned soup in my house!) Eventually, I want to be a stay-at-home, wife/mom and raise and homeschool my kids. However, in the meantime I really want to grow my cooking skills. I have considered a culinary arts school but since I’m not going to spend my life as a chef I would like to get training somewhere that would be cheaper and where I wouldn’t have to commit to spending so much time at the school.

Do you have any suggestions on how I could grow my skills but not spend years of my life at a culinary arts school?

Love,
I Heart Cooking

 
Dear Heart:

I think a culinary education can provide an amazing knowledge base and opportunities, but it isn’t the only way to learn how to cook. My number one piece of advice for people wanting to become better cooks is this: Just cook! Cook every day, every chance you get. Cook for yourself, cook for your parents, volunteer to cook at a local soup kitchen (bonus: You’ll get to help someone else in the process!), volunteer to “cater” the next family holiday that involves a big meal. As is the case with writing, dancing, or pretty much any skill, doing is the only way to get better. And with cooking, it’s the range of real-life situations that gives you great experience.

That said, some of the culinary institutes do have published manuals and (in some cases) apps that provide very helpful culinary instruction. That might be a nice thing for you to look into if you’re looking for the basic building blocks that culinary students go through. Also, look into culinary schools in your area and see if they offer one-day classes or workshops. You’d be surprised at how much you could learn in a day!

But above all else, just cook. Over time, you’ll develop your own tastes and style. That you’re starting at age 16 gives you a great head start!

Go get ‘em!
Ree

Hey P-Dub!

I thought you would have an interesting view of this question since you have 4 kiddos of varying ages. My husband and I just had our first sweet baby girl, Shelby June, in January. (I’m typing you this email with one hand while I’m feeding her. TMI?) I would like to have another baby sooner than later. We want two and my rationale is that we could do the whole diaper, teeny tiny baby phase all at once (which I am loving every minute of as a full time mommy) and then move on to the next phase- instead of growing out of one phase to repeat it again several years later. What do you think about that?

Love you more than my luggage,

(Temporary) Mom of One

 
Dear Temp,

I’m going to answer from both my heart and my reproductive system. Sorry. That made no sense.

My short answer is this: Don’t be afraid of the unpredictability of your child bearing years! To put it another way: I encourage you not to fall into the trap of thinking that life can be planned in such a precise manner. Let me explain.

When I married my husband, I wanted one child. Maybe one-and-a-half. So I had a baby. And I remember, even up until the time she was one, thinking that I could be content with just her forever. Then I made the mistake of visiting my sister-in-law in the hospital after she’d had a baby. I took one whiff of my nephew’s head, then I left the hospital, called Marlboro Man, and said, “If I don’t get pregnant tonight, I’m going to die.” So I got pregnant that night. (TMI?)

Then, in the weeks after 9-11, I vowed never to bring another child into this world. I got pregnant that December.

Then a few years later, I started homeschooling my oldest daughter. Once we started school that fall, I resolved that my childbearing days were definitely over. I needed to commit myself to raising them, schooling them, and it was a good thing my (then) baby boy was sleeping through the night, because this homeschooling thing was going to be a doozie.

I got pregnant with my fourth a month later. Oh, how I cried. But oh, how I cherish that child.

I have a point, and it’s not just to illustrate my level of fertility. It’s to remind you that you really don’t know where life will take you. You may have a second child, then want another one. You may have two close together, then five years from now, wish you’d spaced them out a bit so you could savor each one’s baby stage. You may decide to have a second one now and conceive twins.

So that wasn’t a short answer. But in summary, I can’t answer the question for you about when your second one should come. I just want to encourage you to realize that there really is no right or wrong answer when it comes to having more babies…and the truth is, there’s no right or wrong time. They’ll come when they come, and your life (and abdominal muscles) will adapt accordingly.

(Just don’t go visit your sister-in-law in the hospital if you aren’t prepared to give birth nine months later.)

Love,
PW

Dear Pioneer Woman,

My husband and I have been married for three years and were blessed 2 months ago with a baby girl. He is a police officer that works in the evening and I have a traditional “day job”. We hardly ever get to see each other anymore due to our schedules and when we do we are exhausted from baby wrangling and work. Do you have any advice on keeping the romance alive for new parents, specifically those that can’t always be in the same place due to schedules?

Thanks!

Working Woman

 
Dear Working:

Oh, I know this must be tough. Baby exhaustion is a profound phenomenon, and if you throw in two diametrically different work schedules, it can make things even more complicated.

First of all, keep in mind that your baby won’t be a baby forever. While life will always be busy for you (welcome to parenthood!) there will come a time when she’s sleeping better and is easier to care for.

That said, it’s still important for you and your husband to maintain a connection during this time of exhaustion. You don’t say whether you’re together at night or whether he works all night. But if so, I think the best thing you can do is to find small ways to let him know you’re thinking about him and that he’s important to you.

Example: Tuck a note into his wallet (use colored paper so it’ll be noticeable) so that when he pulls it out, he’ll see it. And it doesn’t even have to be an elaborate love letter; just a simple “Love you, honey” will go a long way. “I’ll miss you tonight,” “Hurry home,” or (not to bring my own issues into this) “I love your muscles” are some other ideas.

I know you’re just as busy as he is, but if you ever have a window to whip up some cookies, you could wrap up a few and stick them in his vehicle so he’ll have something to take with him when he’s on duty. (Or, if he’s more of a health nut, homemade granola bars would work.)

Another thing to consider is the importance of making the most of your time when you are together. Turn off your computer, put down your phone. Talk about work, talk about current events, talk about the things you talked about when you were dating and falling in love. In other words, don’t let your conversation be dictated by diapers and spit-up and bathtime. You can change diapers and clean spit-up and give your baby a bath, just talk about interesting things with your husband while you do it. It’ll remind you both that the world is still spinning out there.

(Note: If your husband had written me, I’d be giving him his own set of tips and pointers for how to keep the romance alive. It goes both ways, but if you start taking steps in that direction, chances are he will too.)

Hang in there! I get it. Big time.

Pee-Dubya

Hi, Ree:

Where did you find that flat whisk you use so often? I’ve looked everywhere. Thanks.

Whiskless

 
Dear Whiskey:

Here’s one at Williams-Sonoma: Flat Whisk at WS

Here’s one at Amazon: Flat Whisk at Amazon

Here’s one at Bed, Bath, and Beyond: Flat Whisk at BBB

And here’s one at Sur La Table: Flat Whisk at Sur La Tawbluhhhhh

They’re the best!

Love,
P-Dub

Dear P Dub,

My son transitioned from college wrestling to MMA Fighting, to being a pro MMA fighter. He’s had some good fights and some not so good, and has enjoyed fighting internationally in addition to his USA fights.

Here’s my question. How can I encourage him to give up fighting for good, now that he has graduated from college and has a good job? I am afraid that some day, he will get walloped and will really be injured. I have supported his fighting career since he began 3 years ago, but now he’s working full time in the “real world” and picking up a few fights a year in his spare time.

Do you think that I should tell him my wishes for him to quit, or do you think that would backfire?

Thanks,
Supportive Mom, but nervous for son

 
Dear Sup:

My husband wants our baby to be a pro MMA fighter. Just thought I’d throw that out there.

I can absolutely understand your reservations. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your being honest with your boy about your concerns about his safety. But you should also be prepared for the possibility that he will continue fighting anyway.

Your son is an adult, after all, and has a job. It sounds like he is pursuing his MMA interest in his spare time. I think you should tell him you love him and because of that, you have concerns about him fighting. And if he decides to keep fighting anyway, don’t take it personally! He’s not trying to defy you or make you worry; he’s just pursuing something he enjoys.

Just smother the kid with prayer every day. Sometimes that’s the best thing a mom can do.

Love,
The Mama of a Future Fighter

Dear Ree,

It’s probably too late, but I’ll try with my question. I’m from Texas, but I left the states to continue my studies in Europe when I was 21. Several years into my time there, I got together with a friend of a friend, who is French. We are a bit of an odd couple, with a strange height difference (I’m taller), but we get along well and have enjoyed our time together (we’ve now moved abroad together). Four years into our relationship — last summer — his mother came to visit for the first time, and it was the first time I had ever met her. His (female, dramatic) cousin came to visit at the same time.

As an American, I don’t do so well with guests, as I think culturally, we like to have our space. In my family, no one really ever comes to stay in our home, and instead relatives would stay in a hotel. I am particularly “bad” about this, as socially my energy just dies out after a certain time of the day (I’m more introverted), and I just simply shut off and want to be alone.

His family couldn’t be any different. They make themselves perfectly at home wherever they are and have a very communal attitude towards sharing things and space. So when, a day into his mother’s visit, his college brother showed up and asked if he could have a towel and clean t-shirt to shower at 10pm, I got really upset with them. His brother never asked or even said that he was going to stay with us, and on top of that, from previous experience I don’t like how the brother helps himself to everything in our home as if it’s his.

It was a bad start, and my partner was upset with me for how I treated them. I really withdrew during this visit. In the end the mother exploded at me and said some rather horrible things, including imploring my partner to break up with me and that we don’t love each other. Thankfully, I am pretty level-headed and I did my best to calm the situation, but it was horrific to say the least. After she left, I emailed her twice to try to explain the situation. No reply.

My partner has no backbone with dealing with this situation, even though nearly a year later it bubbles up and upsets me (and him). He will not address this issue or me to her at all. What’s worse is that I dread the day when his family wishes to visit again, and it makes me sad that they only get to know me in the context of being a guest in my own home. To them it’s unacceptable to stay in a hotel. Recently, while considering going back to my partner’s home town for a wedding, he said that his father now wouldn’t want me staying in their home. I thought this might be a good opportunity for *us* to stay in a hotel so they could get to know me in a different context, but my partner finds it too strange to stay in a hotel in his hometown.

How should I deal with this major cultural difference that is having a negative impact on my otherwise healthy relationship? How do you think I could approach his mother to help build a better relationship with her? (Visiting her is at the moment out of the question.) How could I encourage my partner to help rectify the situation?

Any advice would be very appreciated!

Kind regards,
Perplexed

 
Dear Perplexed:

First of all, let me tell you the ways I understand and sympathize. I totally understand the “social energy” thing, as I love retreating, sucking my thumb, and watching Real Housewives. I think I’ve established that. I do understand that it’s difficult to be with people 24 hours a day for the length of their visit—and the first time you’ve ever met them, no less. Second, I do think that in many situations, it can be better (if the finances allow it) for in-laws (or parters’ parents) to opt for hotels—particularly on first-time visits. It just allows more room for everyone to get to know one another.

And now. Assuming you’re younger than me, I’m going to put on my big sister hat and talk to you as I would my own kid sister if she’d presented the same situation to me: I think you could have handled your boyfriend’s family’s visit much better. When you look at the big picture, your boyfriend’s family’s visit was a tiny block of time in the grand scheme of things, and, especially since it was the first time you’d ever met them, it would have been an appropriate time for you to be extra accommodating, extra welcoming, and more engaged than you normally would. And when his college-age brother requested shower supplies at 10 pm, it probably would have been better for you to chalk it up to him being in college rather than allowing it to set you off. (For college students, 10 pm is like three in the afternoon!)

The bottom line is, whether or not you were in favor of their staying in your home, it was incumbent upon you to be a gracious hostess—not just for his family, but for your partner, to whom family is clearly important. Unfortunately, what’s happened now is that you’ve not only made a bad first impression, you’ve also wedged your partner into the middle of it all. I think it’s unfair for you to expect him to put the pieces back together; that’s something you’ll need to do yourself. And I think you can do it!

So to turn this back into a positive direction, my first suggestion would be to try to put aside all hurt and resentment you may be feeling toward your partner’s family. Literally banish it from your being. From there, you’ll have a stronger foundation on which to build.

Next, I would apologize to your boyfriend’s mother. Tell her you aren’t used to having guests in your house, there was a lot of pressure because you were meeting them for the first time, and you realize now you weren’t as gracious and welcoming as you wish you’d been. Tell her you’d really like to start over, and that you’d like to have the chance to get to know her better. Attach no conditions or expectations to your apology—just lay it out there. And I think sending this note with some beautiful flowers or some kind of gift (anything but a towel and a t-shirt! Ha ha.) wouldn’t be a bad idea. Probably flowers would be best.

This will probably not fix the situation instantly, but it’s a start. And if she doesn’t respond right away (or doesn’t respond at all) just keep taking deep breaths and wait for the next opportunity to make amends. If you keep a humble heart about it and have patience, things can get better! And someday, if your relationship with your boyfriend has lasted, that’ll be good for all of you.

I’m pulling for ya.
Ree

Howdy, PW:

I tried making the pie crust and then freezing it and it was hard to handle and kind of dry. What is your secret to freezing a pie crust?

Thanks,
Pie Hungry

 
Hi, Pie!

First, make sure the pie crust is nice and supple before you freeze it. If it seems overly dry and crumbly after mixing, mix in a tablespoon of water at a time until it comes together. Then divide it in half or thirds (depending on whether you want standard or generous crusts, form them into discs, and press them slightly flat in a ziploc bag. Seal it, squeezing all the air out, and store in the fridge!

I usually take the crusts out 20-30 minutes before I need to roll them out, and they usually behave really well. If they’re in good shape when you put them in, they should be good to go when you take them out.

Love,
Pie Hungry, Too

Dear PW:

I just moved from the city to the country and I have an important
question. What kind of boots do real cowgirls wear?

Love,
Bootless in Birmingham

 
Dear Booty:

The best boots for real cowgirls…are the ones they’re wearing! Boots are so personal: square toe, round toe, pointed toe, knee high, mid-calf, ankle, rubber soles, wooden soles, and every color and design under the rainbow.

Sometimes you have to try on a hundred pairs of boots before you find the right one. But once you do, it’s like you were meant to be together your whole life.

Love,
P-Widdle Diddle

Dear PW:

I’m a newlywed and I’m sure I love my husband as much as you love Marlboro Man. We have never argued but I’ve thought about something my aunt told me. She cautioned me to always guard against sharing things with others that should be kept private between the two of us, never to fall into the trap of talking about our issues and irritations with my girlfriends, and always to speak positively about my husband. You and MM seem to share so much respect with one another, do you have someone you talk with when you just need to test your perspective?

Love,
Newly Wed

 
Dear Newly:

There’s something to be said for avoiding the trap of griping about one’s spouse to others. It can become a habit, for one, but it can also start to seep into your heart and mind and actually negatively affect the way you feel about him/her—a self-perpetuating cycle, if you will. And the truth is, for every gripe you have about your spouse, he/she probably has a whole list they could rattle off, too. So in normal relationships, I always think it’s best to give your love the benefit of the doubt and not fill your friends’ or family members’ heads with your everyday complaints.

Now, that said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with laughing about the differences between men and women. My sister and I could not have married more different men—mine is a cowboy, hers is a technology guru—but we marvel (and crack up) at some of the gender-driven similarities between them. But the “griping” we exchange is more lighthearted, and—here’s the kicker—we wouldn’t mind if the guys overheard what we were saying (and they have here and there!)

Another disclaimer: My advice does not apply to those who have real concerns or problems, or if there is abuse, addiction, or something serious going on. The term “griping” does not apply to those situations, so one should never, ever stay quiet if they are in real need of guidance or help.

Love,
PW

Dear Pioneer Woman:

I’ve grown up in a West Texas town so I’m familiar with some ag culture. However, I’ve recently started dating a rancher (Thank you God!) and I’m completely overwhelmed with parts of the lifetstyle/job, mainly the hours. 3 or 4 a.m. is absolutely ridiculous.

Any words of wisdom on how to deal with it? Or just any words of wisdom for my budding romance with my own cowboy?

Love,
In Love with a Cowboy

 
Dear In Love:

Lamenting the 3 or 4 am thing is like lamenting the sun rising in the east: It just is what it is. The best piece of advice I can give you about assimilating all the wacky agricultural schedules and demands is this: No one is doing it to inconvenience you or make your life more difficult. The schedules are driven by the needs of the animals and the season you’re in. It’s not a conspiracy to drive you crazy.

(I speak from experience here. I had to go through all the stages of grief to arrive at this place.)

Love,
Haven’t slept past 6:00 am for ninety years

Dear PW:

Do you have any advice for someone who is about to be married or a newlywed?

Love,
Betrothed

 
Dear Betty:

To put it in a nutshell, I’d say this: Marriage is not 50/50. It is 100/100. There will be times when your spouse can’t give you what you need, and there will be times when you can’t give all your spouse needs. In those times, the other person’s commitment will carry you through.

Love,
P-Diddy-Dub-Diddy-Diddy-Dub-Dub

To ask a question about love, life, toenail polish, cooking tools, or anything else, email advice@thepioneerwoman.com.

Even without all the other things, we’ve always gone through seasons on the ranch where everything seems to converge and we have two to three weeks of little sleep and little interaction beyond grunts and goodnights. As the mother and the wife, I try to remember to step up my prayer life during these times of hard work, long days, and exhaustion. Everybody needs an extra dose of strength, protection, purpose, and perseverance until this figurative storm passes.

However, because I’m a glass-is-half-full type of homo sapien (it’s my mom’s fault) I would like to point out the positives:

1. Since everyone is out working all the time, the house has stayed really clean!
9. The kids are finished with both soccer and school. Ahhhhh.
A. Today I cook my last cookbook recipe. It’s a Christmas miracle!
2. The weather has been beautiful and glorious. I have carrots in my garden.
7. I just heard that 24 is coming back for a limited run.

Jack Bauer to the rescue!

 
Our morning started early yesterday. Marlboro Man and I got up before five, and by 5:45, everyone was down at the barn saddling their horses.

 
 
 
Then the horses got loaded in the trailer…

 
 
 
And we drove about a mile and a half down the road to unload them.

 
 
 
Then they rode out in the pasture to gather some cattle and drive them back to our house.

Well, the pens beside our house.

There’s a difference. Well, on most days.

 
 
 
Josh was in front of the herd with the feed truck, sooking them along.

I’ve lived on a cattle ranch for seventeen years and I still don’t know how to spell sook.

 
 
 
Meanwhile, the Bassets rode with me.

 
 
 
This pasture of cattle gathered pretty easily and went through the gate just as they were supposed to.

 
 
 
Then my family went through the gate just as they were supposed to.

 
 
 
That’s usually not a problem, though.

 
 
 
After that, it was a short ride to the pens.

 
 
 
But there was a pond along the way, which always proves to be a distraction.

 
 
 
But Marlboro Man kept them moving along.

 
 
 
Good morning, honey! See you tonight when we touch feet again.

 
 
 
Before we knew it, the cattle were in the pens—easy as pie!

 
 
 
Then Marlboro Man handed his reins to our older daughter…

 
 
 
And he and I drove the Razor back to where he’d parked his pickup and trailer so he could go back to the house, load up the kids and horses, then drive out about two miles further down the road than the first time.

 
 
 
I drove on down there and waited while Marlboro Man went to get the kids. And I may or may not have put my head on my hand and fallen asleep for a few minutes.

 
 
 
Not long after, Marlboro Man and the kids showed up and startled me out of my REM sleep.

 
 
 
Then they hopped back on their horses and went after another pasture of cattle.

 
 
 
All the while, the Bassets wondered why they had to ride along in the Razor with the rest of the wusses.

Hey! I take offense to that!

By the way, this is what I’ve been reduced to. I speak for my dogs, then I get into an argument with myself over what they didn’t even say.

I need a nap.

 
 
 
They rode out a ways…

 
 
 
Then Marlboro Man pointed all the kids in the directions they needed to head…

 
 
 
Then they hit the ground running!

 
 
 
“Hey, can I tag along?”

No, Charles. It’s a little too far. Your DNA won’t allow it.

 
 
 
Around that time, my brother-in-law Tim, his two kids, and my father-in-law rode in from the south. They’d parked their trailers closer to the highway and had ridden in toward us.

 
 
 
There’s my nephew.

 
 
 
There’s my boy.

 
 
 
There’s my father-in-law.

 
 
 
There’s my niece. All grins!

 
 
 
And there’s my boyfriend.

 
 
 
“It sure is a good thing I’m riding in this motorized vehicle and not out there actually running…and being a ranch dog…and having fun. Because that would be a total drag.”

Charlie’s sarcasm was a little biting yesterday.

 
 
 
Fine, Charlie! Knock yourself out! And don’t come crying to me if you get winded!

Actually, do come crying to me. You know I’ll scoop you up in a New York minute.

And that’s because I’m a sucker.

 
 
 
Of course, he runs straight to Marlboro Man.

 
 
 
“I can’t help it, Mama. This is where the action is.”

I get it, Charlie. I get it.

 
 
 
Actually, it was a really good time to let the dogs run free.

 
 
 
It gave Charlie a chance to take a nice, quick bath.

 
 
 
I’d much rather him smell like a pond than what he actually smells like, which is Hades and rotten Fritos.

 
 
 
There’s my baby. Look at him go!

 
 
 
This was a long haul back to the house.

 
 
 
But all in all, it was pretty seamless. At one point, we had to make a turn and head straight east in order to push them along a fenceline…

 
 
 
But the cattle stayed together really well.

 
 
 
One challenge of following in a vehicle rather than on a horse is that you have to sometimes search for a good place to cross.

 
 
 
Sometimes you’ll run into this sort of situation, and you have to drive down the creek a ways to find a spot you can pass through.

If you’re on a horse, you can pass through anything because they’re surefooted and strong.

 
 
 
Before we knew it, we were at the same gate where we’d been a good hour-plus earlier.

 
 
 
And we were pushing the cattle down the same fenceline.

 
 
 
And trying to keep them moving when we passed the pond.

 
 
 
Then we made it to the pens…

 
 
 
And my father-in-law was all smiles.

And that made me smile, too.

Note from PW: I received quite a few more advice questions yesterday and I’m still working on answering several of them, so the Dear PW installment will post tomorrow instead. Meanwhile, my beloved has written a post about his trip to Kansas yesterday. Take it away, honey!

 
Post and photos by Marlboro Man.

Yesterday three of the kids and I went to Kansas, near the town of Dexter, to a ranch my brother Tim and I lease. This was our second time up there over the past week, because our trip up there last Wednesday was rained out.

 
 
 
We wanted to work the cattle, but we couldn’t do it in the rain, so we just sat in the vehicles and waited to see if it would stop while also praying it wouldn’t because we need all the rain we can get. The kids prayed it wouldn’t because they wanted to keep on napping.

 
 
 
It took us an hour of waiting through on again-off again rain before we finally called it off and drove the hour back home. It had been awhile since we’d called off a working due to rain, and the kids were ecstatic. Little did they know that it wasn’t raining at home, so when we got back to the ranch, we were still able to put in a full day’s work.

 
 
 
So yesterday we had our redo and it was a beautiful morning.

 
 
 
“Caleb, get that gate!”

 
 
 
Gathering cattle at sunrise on a pretty morning is the best part of our job.

 
 
 
The scenery on the Radcliff is incredible. It’s a beautiful ranch. The kids wanted to go water skiing on this pond.

 
 
 
It’s a Flint Hills ranch like ours, but the draws and valleys are much more pronounced.

 
 
 
Steep hills…

 
 
 
Green grass…

 
 
 
Running water…

 
 
 
Black cows with big calves.

Our mornings don’t get much better than that.

 
 
 
Todd said he could have done without the 4:30 start time, but other than that it was all good.

 
 
 
We bought these cows last year and they’re a little flighty. As soon as they saw us, they started running for the back side.

 
 
 
But as an old cowboy who used to work for us used to say, “They can’t get away—there’s an ocean on both sides.”

 
 
 
And some cowboys, too.

 
 
 
After we stopped the cows, we brought them back…

 
 
 
Pushing them across the draw they’d just run through…

 
 
 
To join the other cows who hadn’t run off.

 
 
 
When you get cows like this, it’s always a good idea to get ahold of them or gather them together and hold them tightly without letting any of them run off.

 
 
 
This’ll teach them who’s boss.

 
 
 
To do this right, you need a pretty good crew of cowboys. Everyone needs to ride up and pay close attention.

 
 
 
Fortunately, Tim and I are getting there with our crew. In the early years, it was definitely more work to take the kids with us. A lot of mornings, it would have been much easier just to saddle one horse instead of four or five, and leave the kids at home. But on days like yesterday, we get to reap the benefits of that early training, as the kids do as good a job of gathering cattle as most grown men.

Q. How is Mike? You haven’t mentioned him in a while. I love to read about your experiences with him and his fascination of fire houses.

Mike is just great. He’s too busy for me, as usual, and his birthday’s coming up in a little over two weeks so I’m just trying to figure out whether to give it to him in ones, fives, or tens.

The question with Mike is never what to get him for his birthday. It’s what denomination to give.

Q. Which of your children are the most like each other in temperament, interests, etc? Which of your children are most like you or Marlboro Man in temperament, interests, etc.?

Such a great question. I often marvel at the differences between four children who came from identical DNA pools. But they are so very different in so many ways.

My firstborn is analytical, sometimes in the clouds, very strong, and sometimes fretful. She’s very smart and intuitive and is a good debater, which really ticks me off. She and I are very similar in that we love to be home and vege out, and we get lost in our thoughts.

My second daughter is a planner, a doer, and she must know exactly what is going to happen tomorrow night at 7:12 and the next day at 12:19. She likes projects and plans. And she can outcook me, outbake me, and definitely outcraft me. She could outcraft me at age three. I drive her crazy because I’m late, and she drives me crazy because she’s bossy. And we’re symbiotic and can’t live without each other.

My older son is headstrong, shy around people he doesn’t know, unbelievably theatrical and animated, and he loves to work. He’s always the first one out of bed and the first one in his boots (after his dad, of course.) He has a very tough exterior and an extremely sensitive and vulnerable inner core, and my heart both bursts and breaks when I look at him. I cherish him.

My youngest child is a 47-year-old in an 8-year-old’s body. He prefers being around adults. He becomes attached to subjects and fixates on them (right now it’s NFL running backs. Ask him anything. About any running back. Ever.) and he shares what he knows with anyone who will listen. He’s as messy as Pigpen from Peanuts, and is the most affectionate child I have. He can’t give enough love. He devours me with his hugs.

My two middle children clash and compete but have the most fun together.
My oldest and my youngest have a very close relationship.
The sisters argue over clothes.
The brothers play football in the yard until one of them cries.

I think I’ll keep all four of them.

Q. Are you freaking out about your older daughter going off to college in a few years? Does she have any idea where she would like to go?

Right now she loves Oklahoma State, which would be just great with me. But we’ll just see how things look a year or so from now! Wherever she goes, I have to make sure I like it too, as I’ll be attending college with her.

Q. How do you split meal and family times between the Lodge and at your home? From watching the show, it seems like you manage and spend time in both places equally. Which place do you like best?

I love our house because this is where we live, but the advantage of having the Lodge is that it’s always ready, always clean (compared to our house), and is better for crowds and company. I do a my cookbook cooking/big cooking projects at the Lodge, and if I do cooking for cowboys, freezer cooking days (I did an upcoming show about this), or host holidays, it’s usually at the Lodge. That way, our house can remain messy on any given day and I don’t have to worry about people judging me.

Q. Thank you for making me smile. I am wondering how much if any help you get to keep your life going on such a busy schedule? Does extended family help you or do you have hired help or great friends that come to your rescue or are you super woman?

My husband is my primary source of “help” when it comes to the kids and homeschooling. I quite literally could not have done what I’ve done for the past seven years without him. He picks up my slack, comes to my rescue, and will do anything to help me—usually before I have to ask for it. He takes them to their sports practices, and he keeps the homeschooling moving along while I’m shooting the show.

As for the house, I have a cleaning crew come to clean our house twice a week. Because we’re all pretty much home together every day, things would quickly go downhill otherwise.

Our ranch secretary and her daughter (the kids’ former babysitter who now has a baby of her own) take care of sending prizes for my giveaways, shipping signed cookbooks from the ranch, and keeping up with email correspondence, calendar, etc.

For my first cookbook, my best friend Hyacinth came out to my house weekly to cook with me until I got it done. For my second cookbook, I had another friend help me do the shopping and prep. For my holiday cookbook, I’ve had two friends helping me with shopping and prep. That way I can concentrate on cooking the food, photographing the steps, writing the cookbook, and putting the book all together…and I don’t have to leave the ranch, which is my number one goal in life.

For Tasty Kitchen, I have two people (one of whom is my kid sister Betsy) who pretty much run the whole thing with no help from me. They do a great job.

As for blogging, taking photos, writing my posts, writing my cookbooks, etc, I just have never found a way to delegate those things to anyone else. I have contributors who write under their own names on PW Entertainment and PW Homeschooling, but I do all my own blogging myself. Always have. Always will. Amen.

Q. With the ranch and everything that you have accomplished what do your kids want to do? I know they are young.

Marlboro Man and I want our kids to take the paths they choose in life. Selfishly, of course we’d love for them all to wind up back on the ranch. In our house. For the rest of their lives. Forever. But I’ve heard that when kids grow up, they generally become adults, which generally means they need to plot their own course.

But if they don’t come back to the ranch I’m going to just DIE.

I just won’t tell them that.

Q. My question is, at what point did you realize that your readership was growing and that your voice and opinion were mattering to thousands? How did that make you feel?

The growth of my website was slow and steady and incredibly gradual. For the first few years of my site, it was just a nice, calm, upward slope. That’s because I blogged regularly (daily for the first year or so, then definitely five days a week for a long, long time). I never had a big Oprah moment that caused a crazy increase in readership. I just kept blogging, and more and more people stopped by to read. So my point is, I never had a real moment that I realized that I had a large readership. It was so gradual, therefore it felt natural.

Plus, I was too busy blogging to stop and reflect on the big picture.

Q. Good morning! I recently read your book – Black Heels to Tractor Wheels and absolutely loved it. So my question is – will there be a second book?

Aw, so glad you enjoyed it. I had so much fun writing it. I’d love to continue the story, as we had some pretty interesting years on the ranch after our first year of marriage (some entertaining…some not so much.) I just haven’t been able to carve out the time to devote to writing it. Someday!

Q. Good Morning Ree and Happy Anniversary! Tell us more about Cowboy Josh. He is one handsome dude.

Cowboy Josh has lived on the ranch for a long time. His uncle worked for my father-in-law and Josh lived with him for many years. Eventually, Josh became my husband’s full-time cowboy and he’s been here since then. He’s a combination employee, friend, and brother. (And crazy uncle to my kids.) Josh is a great guy.

Q. The question I have is one I am thinking of because of Mother’s Day: when it seemed like you were angry with your mom during your parents’ separation, how did you repair your relationship with her and overcome your feelings? In one of your latest blog postings, you portrayed her so lovingly and she seems so warm and loving with your children that I am very glad to see that she is a big part of your and their lives. Thanks.

My parents’ divorce was very difficult for my siblings and me (as it is for most families who go through a divorce) but the old adage that time heals wounds really does hold true. Because I wrote about my parents’ divorce in Black Heels to Tractor Wheels, I occasionally hear from young adults whose parents are divorcing after 25, 30, 35 years of marriage. I understand how acutely painful it is, and the number one piece of advice/comfort I try to give them is that time, unfortunately, is the only thing that’s going to make it feel better.

In the meantime, I tell them, expect it to sting. It’s part of the process.

That’s probably not the best advice in the world. But it was my experience.

Q. I’d love to know how you do so much and seem to have so much energy. I have a hard enough time doing my laundry!

I do the things I enjoy with great enthusiasm, and I am an utter failure at the things I do not enjoy. I enjoy blogging, working on my cookbooks, cooking, doing the show, and photography. I also really do enjoy homeschooling the kids. Well, most of the time.

I do not, on the other hand, enjoy laundry, weeding out closets of too-small clothes, and cleaning out the fridge. Enough said.

Q. When you tape your shows, is there enough food for the crew? You and your family and friends always eat it on the show, while I’m assuming the crew watches? Also, how many batches of each recipe do you have to make for the show?

Yes, there is usually plenty of food for the crew to dive into once we’re sure we got all the shots we needed! There are many recipes that the poor cameramen have to watch through the lens over and over, and I try to get them a taste (or more) as soon as humanly possible.

Q. How is the building downtown coming along? When do you foresee moving in?

It’s going really well! It’s a little slower than I’d like, but in the long run I’ll be glad we took the time for each stage. We don’t have a completion date yet, but I’ll definitely keep you posted. I’m excited!

I think.

Q. What was your favorite part about dance? What was your least favorite part? And finally, if I asked you to do a grand jete, could you do it?

I just did a grand jeté the other day. Those are my favorites. I was strong at jumps. I wasn’t as good at turns. It’s a center of gravity thing.

I loved ballet and was obsessed with it. I’m grateful I had the experience. I loved the challenge. I loved the vibe. I got to know my body and learned what it could do, most of which it can no longer do.

What I didn’t love was missing out on a lot of things in high school because I was at rehearsal. But it kept me out of trouble.

I think.

Q. Does the filming crew live at the Lodge while taping? If so, does the lack of window treatments freak them out?

Yes, and yes! Especially since they all live in London.

Q. Hi Ree. I love your book Black Heels to Tractor Wheels. I was wondering what ever happened to the old Indian house you and MM were fixing up when you first got married?

I just happened upon a photo of that house the other day. I’ll post it sometime. It really brought back memories. This will be part of the second Black Heels book if I ever get around to writing it, but years and years ago we wound up selling the part of our ranch where the old yellow brick house sat. And I don’t think the yellow house is there anymore; I’ve heard it’s been torn down. It exists now only in my memory…just like Jack Dawson only existed in Rose’s memory in Titanic.

Oh, and in this photo I have.

Q. How can I become a more confident cook? We do not have a huge budget for food, so I am not able to buy things to try and fail. You have such an ease about you when you cook and I just cannot get there. My family is so sick of the same meal items. Help me mix it up with confidence or point me in the right direction.

The only way to get confident with cooking is just to cook. I know what you mean about not wanting to waste time, effort, and cost on cooking things you’re not sure your family will like. Welcome to my world! Ha. But the more you cook and try new things, the more effortless it will become. I’m a better cook than I was five years ago, and five years ago, I thought I was a pretty good cook. But five years ago, I was a much better cook than I waws five years before that!

And so on, and so on, and so on.

Q. As the wife of a farmer, I must ask: how in the world do you deal with all the mud and manure? My husband brings in so much dirt that sometimes I feel like crying. I’ve even considered packing and moving rather than clean up the mess! How do you handle 5 of them turning your whole house into a mudroom?

I cry a lot. No matter how temporarily clean my house ever gets, it all falls apart within 24 hours once you take into account all the boots, mud, dust, manure, dirt-caked clothes, spurs, chaps, hats…it never, ever ends. So I have no advice for you except this: Just cry it out.

Q. Ree, I’ve gotta know—after filming a show do you do your own dishes?

When I film the cooking show, there is a whole production crew behind the scenes. This doesn’t just include a director and producer and cameraman, but also help with kitchen/food and overall cleanup. It took some getting used to when I began doing the show, as I wasn’t used to having someone do my dishes right after I cooked. But given the pace of the shooting schedule and the long days, if I did the shopping, the food prep, and stayed afterward to do the dishes, I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I’d be dead.

Q. More a comment than a question, but I miss the photography section. Where did it go?

I retired it this year because I found I was posting on there less and less and didn’t want it to become stagnant. I never want to be afraid to let go of what isn’t working anymore, and that includes my skinny jeans from 2011.

Q. When is your next book signing and will you be in the Baltimore or DC area? I’d love to see you again! God bless!

I’ll be going on a book tour for my upcoming holiday cookbook this fall, and I’d love to come to the DC area. I love it there. I want to bring the kids so we can tour the monuments!

Q. This is weird but I have to ask. why is it, when watching shows on food network, that when dropping food into the pots, it looks like a movement out of a romance novel. Loving, sensual, sexy?

That’s the way it’s supposed to be! It’s supposed to make you want to climb through your TV and start scarfing down what you’re watching.

Q. I am certain the answer to my question is no but…well…can Charlie come live with me? Fur-ever? Fur a week? Fur a day?

He just got sprayed by a skunk last night, so SURE! I’ll send him right over.

Q. What do you do for your down time? You seriously seem busy ALL THE TIME.

I watch Real Housewives. Of anywhere.

But seriously. Here goes: When I have down time, I have no desire to travel, read classic literature, do needlework, or better myself in any way. I just want to be still. On the couch. Watching Bravo.

I am not ashamed.

Q. How serious are you about having more children? You speak of it often.

I want another baby, but my logic always takes over. I think I need to just raise them and stop having them. But I don’t think my desire to have another baby will ever go away. I’ll be 97 and still saying, “Well, Marlboro Man and I haven’t done anything permanent to prevent it, so you just never know, sonny!”

Q. Ree, the picture of Charlie running across the grass, what picture mode did you take this in?

I shoot 100% of the time in Aperture Priority (A), and adjust both the aperture and the exposure compensation to get the exposure and effect I need.

Q. My question for you is, where do you get the tops you wear on your cooking show?

I get them at lots of different place, but one of my favorite websites right now is Soft Surroundings. They have nice, flowy, gauzy, easy tops. And they don’t show my demonic, insidious love handles.

Q. Ree, have you ever considered doing a day at the ranch giveaway? Letting some lucky man or woman come and see what it is like to work on a ranch for a day? I think it would be a great experience. Or letting someone cook with you for a day?

I used to have cooking days/weekends on the ranch, but my schedule has been too full over the past year-plus to have any. It’s sort of a domino effect: I have the website, the show, and my cookbook, which fills a lot of my time…and the rest of the time has to be 100% devoted to the kids, whose activities are becoming more varied and more busy.

Moms of babies, you’re going to kill me when I say this, but here goes: It’s so much busier having teenagers.

Please don’t kill me. I was one of you once!

Q. Does Food Network have plans to release all the seasons of your show on DVD? I have them saved up on my DVR, but would love them on DVD, as I’m sure others would too.

I don’t know of any immediate plans to release the shows on DVD, but I’ll definitely let you know if I hear anything! I know Seasons 1 and 2 are available on iTunes now, but that’s it as far as I know. Will keep you posted!

Q. I’d like to join the blogosphere, too, and have been scouring the web for info on how to do it.
It seems complicated, like which voice to write in, what niche t fill, etc.
Did you give ANY thought to these issues, or did you just jump in there with both feet and let the dust settle where it may?

My biggest piece of advice I can give you is not to think about it too much. Just jump in and start blogging. Write in your own voice. See if you like it. Don’t think about what niche to fill. Just see where your writing takes you. When I started blogging, I gave no thought to niche, audience, voice, anything. I just started blogging.

Q. Who is your favorite food network star you have met so far?

I’ve met Bobby Flay and really, really like him. I met Giada last November and thought she was just beautiful and very sweet. And I love Sunny Anderson.

Make no mistake, though, I don’t generally hang with Food Network stars! I do hang with my close foodblogging friends, though, whenever I have the opportunity. We understand what it’s like to deny your children food until you’ve had a chance to take a photo of it.

We’re one.

Q. I’ve always wondered (as a fellow home school mom), when do you find time to home school? How do you manage it with all you have going on with the ranch and Food Network and cookbooks, etc.? And any tips concerning managing home school with a busy life?

I take the approach I’ve taken since almost the beginning: It fits into our day, whatever is happening on that day. Between working cattle and the other stuff happening on the ranch, there’s no way we’d be able to have a typical 8:30 to 3:00 school day. So over time, we’ve learned to use our time wisely: If the kids get up at 5:00 and go work cattle, we’ll pick up the school slack in the afternoon. If they aren’t working cattle, we’ll have more of a substantial school day before they have to go to soccer and football practice. If we’re filming the show, a couple of them will come up to the Lodge and I’ll help them during breaks while Marlboro Man helps the other two at our house.

I’ve found that I’m happier with this approach anyway; the times I’ve put pressure on myself to duplicate a classroom environment here at home have been the times our homeschooling hasn’t worked as well. Part of the benefit of homeschooling is the freedom and flexibility…you just have to balance it and make sure you are making ample time for it and checking off all the figurative boxes. If we have a couple of weeks of chaos and don’t get done what we needed to get done, we’ll double up over the next two weeks and catch up.

Also, the kids and I now attend a coop together once a week. That helps consolidate things and give us much-needed structure to follow during the other four days of the week.

Q. My question for you is why do you have your children learn Latin in your homeschool program? I ask because a school in my area offers Latin as their language class instead of Spanish, French or German and I was just curious as to what the reasoning behind it was. It is not a language you hear very often these days.

Latin is not a language that’s spoken today (except in some church settings) but it is one of the roots of modern language, so having a grasp of Latin opens up a whole world of understanding of the English language (and many other languages) in general.

Q. What made you think to open up a store in your home town? Can you give more details about the when and what? We all are c.u.r.i.o.u.s! Will MM be the iced coffee barista?

Haha. I have to get a mental picture of Marlboro Man brewing an iced caramel macchiatto…

As for why we’re doing The Building: Awhile back, we were about to start building a new office out on the ranch since the old house we’re using as an office is on its last leg. Then we began thinking that it seemed like a waste to spend money and materials on a new structure out here that would only be used by us. Then we had the thought of putting the office in the old building in town instead, and expanding the purpose for the rest of the building. The idea grew and grew…and then we hit the ground running because we’re insane.

We’re also excited…but it’s a big ol’ project and we hope it doesn’t take 47 years.

Q. OK so here is my question..I am also curious about your building? Ree’s Place? Restaurant..the suspense is crazy!

Part of it will be a deli-ish place where people can come eat but also take good, home-cooked, fresh, delicious food home with them. Later, we have plans for more of an event-type cooking space and a different retail concept, but we’re doing it in stages to make sure we have the intestinal fortitude to surge on.

Q. Long time reader, curious to know . . .

… How does your average day play out?
There is no average day! Right now my oldest daughter is sitting next to me and doing her math while her siblings are in Kansas working cattle with Marlboro Man, and I just cleaned the pots and pans that I left soaking last night. They were grody.

… How is Mike doing?
He is just awesome.

… What has been your biggest challenge since your blog went viral?
Balancing the time between family and work, but all women have that dilemma.
Also, exercising enough to combat the increased amount of food that surrounds me.

Q. I would love to know how to start writing a cookbook. I think starting the project seems to be the hardest part. How do you find a publisher? What do you have to do to get someone to look at your idea? Does it have to be finished before submitting to someone?

I really would suggest starting a cooking/food blog, as that’s a very good way to show your work. Also, it will be a great way for you to develop your style, your writing, and your vision for the cookbook.

This is probably not the best time for me to comment on this (or maybe it is) considering I’m neck deep in finishing my holiday cookbook right now, but a cookbook is a massive undertaking. It’s incredibly rewarding and challenging, but getting it finished is like giving birth to a 356-page baby. And those sharp corners hurt when they come out.

Sorry. That was a little personal.

Q. I have a few questions regarding your cooking show. Does Food Network pay for the groceries for the recipes you make on the show? Do they provide a clean up crew before and/or after filming? How the heck is your oven always so clean? Do you decide what you’ll make on your show, or does the production team give you a theme?

The production company buys the groceries for the food I cook on the show, and by and large, they take care of keeping the Lodge cleaned up during the time of the shoot. My oven is not clean right now; in fact, it’s pretty grody. I decide what recipes I’ll make on the show, and Marlboro Man and I decide the themes for all the shows. I tell the production company the theme and the recipes, then they take care of figuring out what to film and how to film it.

Q. I’m curious… How did you get to be where you are? Did you just start with blogging? How did you get into writing books, and then the TV show?

Yes, I just started blogging. Then I wrote cookbooks. Then the TV show started. Then I became addicted to Real Housewives and my brain turned to mush.

Q. Do you have milking cows for your milk or do you still buy gallons at the store?

I don’t have any milk cows, so I buy all milk at the store. My husband feels about having dairy cows about the same way he feels about having chickens: Why sign yourself up for that additional work?

I would love a milk cow, but I’d also want her to have a calf so she wouldn’t be entirely dependent on me to provide her teats some relief.

If, at age 16, someone had told me that I’d one day type that last sentence, I would have run screaming from the room.

 
See you tomorrow for Dear Pioneer Woman! If you’d like to submit a question, just email it to advice@thepioneerwoman.com.

Love,
P-Widdle Diddle

Take it away, Marlboro Man! I mean love-muffin.

 
Q. Marlboro Man, on my atlas it appears that Pawhuska is in the middle of an Indian reservation. Do you own or lease your land?

A. The Osage Indian tribe owns all the mineral rights in Osage county but the land/surface rights are owned by individuals. We own most of the land we use but we do lease some from other individuals.

 
 
Q. How many ranch hands do you have on the ranch? Who is related and how?

A. I have one Cowboy, Josh, who works for me and my brother Tim has two, Cowboy Tim and Pete. We also employ two other full-time cowboys, Chris and Cody, who look after cattle for us on property we own and lease right across the border in Kansas.

 
 
Q. I have seen in several of TPW episodes of ya’ll going to church. Is serving God one a priority in your family?

A. Yes, our faith is an important part of our life.

 
 
Q. Hi there MM, I am a beginning cattlewoman, and love the pictures and posts that you do for your sweet wife on the Pioneer Woman website. We have 25 cows that were bred for fall calving because my husband and I both work full time during the day, and fall calving seems easier and causes less headaches that spring babies. Well, I was looking at them a couple of days ago, and noticed that one seemed “in heat” again. Would you recommend just selling her now or waiting for the rest of the mommas to calve and then bred her again? She is a young heifer that hasn’t had a calf yet. (We have nine of these first-time heifers that we had saved from a fancy bull that we “rented” from the neighbor.)

A. If you are set on all of your cattle calving in the fall, I would still try to breed her this spring and then sell her as bred this fall, assuming you have the grass to carry her and you won’t have any additional expenses.

 
 
Q. How do you determine how much hay per head of cattle is needed during the winter months and do you use grass hay or alfalfa? Do you use a feed supplement and what does it contain? Are the cattle brought in closer to the ranch during the winter?

A. We leave our cattle scattered throughout the ranch during winter. We try to leave enough forage on our pastures to carry the cattle through the winter with only supplemental feeding for nutritional purposes; this minimizes the amount of hay that is required. We use grass hay cut from our ranch, although the drought has made that supply lower. The feed we use is made primarily from wheat mids and cottonseed meal.

 
 
Q. What kind of cow is good for steaks, hamburger etc?
A. I personally like Angus cattle for beef.

 
 
Q. I am not a vegetarian. I understand you raise cattle to feed people. I know you take good care of them and treat them in a humane way. This is the part that I do not understand. Rodeos. It seems inhumane to take an animal and put it in a place where it is not familiar with, and stress it out for no other reason than to entertain people. These animals are not “mean”. They are frightened and want to get rid of the thing on their backs and hurt it if necessary so it won’t get back on. Please justify rodeos if you can.

A. Some of those animals are actually mean. They want nothing more than to hurt you, which is one of the reasons they ended up as rodeo stock. For the most part, the meaner they are, the more the rodeo cowboys love them since those are the broncs or bulls that separate the men from the boys. I don’t believe the animals are scared, as the broncs and bulls on the professional circuits are old hands at rodeos and are usually more comfortable and confident than the guys who are getting ready to climb on their backs.

As far as justifying rodeos: it isn’t my profession, so it’s really not my job. I participate in one or two ranch rodeos a year with our ranch team, but it’s only for charity and for fun. I do know there is a right way and a wrong way to handle livestock and all of the cowboys who participate in the rodeos I attend are very conscientious about handling livestock correctly.

 
 
Q. Just wondering if the ranch has ever been hit by a tornado, and what do you do if one is heading for your ranch. My grandmother once told me that a twister is the devil’s finger coming down and destroying everything in its path. If you only knew how much that affected me. Thankfully this New England girl has never experienced a twister!

A. We’ve had a couple of tornadoes in the 40+ years I’ve lived on the ranch, and if it looks like one is headed toward us, we will take shelter under our house. Personally (Ree loves this), I like to drive out and watch them if there is good visibility. The worst one we ever had was about 10 years ago when a huge tornado passed across our ranch on the ground for miles. It didn’t get our house, but it wiped out a lot of fence. It made for several long days rebuilding fence.

 
 
Q. I love the table in the Lodge. Where did you get it, or did you have someone make it for you?

A. We had it made several years ago by a guy who does custom furniture in Weatherford, Texas.

 
 
Q. How did the dust bowl impact Marlboro Man’s family? Did they stick it out? How did they manage? I’d love to hear about it.

A. My great-grandfather ranched through the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression. I’ll have to ask my dad about some of those stories, as he is a vault of stories about the ranch’s history.

 
 
Q. This is probably silly to ask, but do cows have best friend? My husband recently had to work a car accident involving someone hitting a cow that had gotten out of the fence. He said one cow inside the fence was clearly upset and my husband told me it was because cows have a best friend.

A. That’s a good question. I think some cows do get used to being around certain other cows. Whether that means they’re “friends” or not, I’m not sure.

 
 
Q. We have all been hearing about grass fed beef being better for you. Mainly, I believe your cattle are grass fed, but what happens when you fed them from the feed truck in the winter. Are they still considered grass fed then? Or am I way off base here? What constitutes grass?

A. Almost all of the cattle we sell go from our ranch to a feed yard and are later sold as grain-fed beef. Grain-fed cattle spend the majority of their lives on ranches grazing grass, but are finished on a grain ration in a feedyard. I personally prefer grain-fed beef above grass-fed, as I believe the flavor is better. The research I’ve read suggests that the health differences between the two are minimal. Interestingly, in the old days, grain-fed beef was considered a premium product while grass-fed beef was considered “subpar” (and was cheaper.) Now that grain-fed beef is common in the U.S., grass-fed beef has become more of a premium product. In the end, I think it comes down to personal preference.

 
 
Q. I was wondering how in the world MM and crew determine, when you have so many and they are scattered across so many acres of land, which cows are no longer viable as breeding stock?

A. We go through all of our cattle constantly and sort through them several times a year. Usually, cows are only taken out of the breeding herd if they fail to get bred, get too old or are unable to take care of their calves.

 
 
Q. I am wondering how the drought has affected your cattle operation.

A. It’s been tough, but we’ve been spared from the worst part that hit the areas west and southwest of us. The worst part for us has been our decreased grass production. We made about half the hay we normally do out of our meadows and the grass in most of our pastures got pretty short this winter. This increased the amount of feed we needed to give our animals this winter, which also meant an increase in the cost of raising the animals.

A lot of our ponds, the main source of water for most of our pastures, also became dangerously low this past fall. This required us to spend a lot of time and money cleaning them out—cleaning out the silt that has built up through the years and making a deeper hole to prevent evaporation. I would say we cleaned out over fifty ponds this past year and more than 100 over the last two years. The good news is those ponds should now be good for 20 to 30 years before they need to be cleaned out again. The bad news is that cleaning out that number of ponds gets really expensive really quick.

 
 
Q. Dear Pioneer Woman or Marlboro Man, How many miles of road do you have on your ranch and can I come go for a run there?

A. There’s enough to make a good marathon or two, but most of them are gravel and not really conducive to jogging. But the scenery and fresh air is unbeatable.

 
 
Q. I am intrigued with how ranchers number/identify their replacement heifers. Do you reference the year they were born, the cow’s number, or do they just get a new number entirely? I know this varies from rancher to rancher, but how do you re-number your replacement heifers on your ranch?

A. We give them a tag with a individual number, plus the last digit of the year they were born so we will always know the exact age of our cows.

 
 
Q. We see your children helping out on the ranch. Do they help with any household chores? We’ve not seen any of the inside work of running the house and the children’s involvement.

A. Yes, the kids help out a lot around the house. They’re kids and they make messes (especially the younger boys) but they are also very good about cleaning them up if asked…well, told.

 
 
Q. Your riding horses (Quarter Horses?) are all so sleek and fat and appear so well-trained. What’s the story behind them and how do your kids relate to them?

A. We don’t do anything special for the ranch horses. The primary reason they’re so healthy is that they have their own pasture with ample forage. They are well-trained with most of them having some professional training at some point early in their lives. All of them are older horses that have been ridden for many miles and aren’t at all skittish. They’re also very sure-footed. To me that is the real priority of horse safety: Making sure the kids are riding good horses.

 
 
Q. I have a question for MM, I notice that sometimes cows have tags in their ears. Do these tags have a certain meaning?

A. Ear tags are for identification purposes.

 
 
Q. Do you have chickens?

A. No.

 
 
Q: Follow up to above question: My chickens were born in March, so they are adolescents right now, and I am afraid their IQ might be a little low. I can’t get them to go into their coop at night! I have to pick each one up and put them in. It is traumatic both for them and me; I have tried leaving a light on for them (like Motel 6 does) and have tried putting out special treats like oatmeal, scratch, yummy weeds, etc. They climb up their plank to eat the treats, then hop back down into the dirt. Any suggestions?

A. This is why I don’t have chickens.

 
 
Q. Am curious about the Lodge. Is it for paying guests or just a big offshoot of your house for crowds or something else?

A. It is a guest house for family and friends, family gatherings, Ree’s cooking events, and we film most of the show there. We don’t use it for paying guests, as we probably wouldn’t have time for the work that might entail.

 
 
Q. I have a farm question. What does the brand symbol for the ranch mean?

A. It’s called a T-apple. It’s a brand that has been in our family for awhile, and its main attribute is that it isn’t too big and it brands without blotching.

 
 
Q.My question is (and has been for several months) why did you sell the farm down by Waurika, OK?

A. At the time we bought the farm in 1996, land down there was cheaper than up here where we live. Since then, that has changed and with the increase in the cost of production with farm ground we made a business decision to sell the farm and use the money to buy a grass ranch in Kansas about 40 miles from our home ranch. It made sense to do it, but we enjoyed the time we had the farm near Waurika. We had lots of memories there.

 
 
Q. Are you encouraging your kids to become ranchers once they’re all grown up? Or are you letting them make up their own minds? I guess, will they be taking over the ranch when it’s time for y’all to retire?

A. That will be their decision. I hope some of them will come back, but that will be completely up to them.

 
 
Q. Ree, love your show. It brings me joy. I would like to know if you still live in the house that you and MM first lived in. I think in your book you states it was yellow.

A. We no longer live in that house—in fact, we no longer own that part of the ranch where we lived when we got married. 11 or 12 years ago, when my mom and dad decided to move to town and offered their house to us (the house I grew up in as a child), we decided to move there. We’re glad we did.

 
 
Q. Awhile back, you talked about separating mother mustangs from the colts and then sending the colts back to the Bureau of Land Management. Why can’t you just keep the colts and put them in a different pasture on your property?

A. We only have mares on our ranch, so we wouldn’t have a place for the horse colts. Also, it’s the BLM’s policy.

 
 
Q. Why are your hay bales round? Out here in California I only see the rectangular kind. Is there a difference?

A. It depends on the baling machine that makes them and the preference of the person baling the hay. We do ours in round bales because it works better for us when putting them out in the wintertime, but other people prefer square (rectangular) bales.

 
 
Q. How many people does it take to work the cattle? I see MM, kids, Cowboy Josh. Do you hire other people to help seasonally?

A. Sometimes we hire workers to help for a day or two, but these days the kids are such good help we really don’t need to.

 
 
Q. What’s up with those fake cattle guards (lines painted on the road)? Do they actually work? Do they only work for cows that have been around real cattle guards before?

A. I’ve never seen one, but I know they wouldn’t work for my cattle. Sometimes the real ones don’t even work.

 
 
Q. What happens with all the poop on your ranch?

A. It just stays in the pastures and acts as a natural fertilizer. The cattle have ample acreage to graze on, so the manure isn’t a problem.

 
 
Q. Hi Ree, I haven’t seen much on the wild (BLM) horses. Do you still have them and how many head do you keep? How long do you keep them? Do they eventually go to sales or re-introduction programs?

A. We still have them. We are classified as a long-term holding facility so when the horses come to our ranch, they are here for the duration of the contract (5 years) and then the contract is rebid. When they are rebid, it is a competitive process where anyone can bid to do it cheaper, upon which time the horses would be shipped to another facility.

 
 
Q.When you work the calves and you remove their nuts, where do you get your bulls?

A. We buy bulls from breeders who specialize in producing high quality animals for breeding purposes. This is the way to always be improving the genetics of your herd.

 
 
Q. How many houses are on your property? How does your family agree on who will live in what house? Does the family pay for the house? Or is it, rock, paper, scissors? I mean, why isn’t Tim in your house, and you in the lodge? And where is Tim’s place anyway? Are they on the property too?

A. When Tim and I started having kids, we decided to split the ranch in two. I own my part and he owns his part. We’ve both seen too many family splits from arguing over land and we didn’t want this to happen to our children and their cousins. He and his cowboys live on his part of the ranch and Josh and I live on my part. We both provide housing to our cowboys as a big part of their job is being on the ranch. Tim and I partner together on some cattle and our families work together all the time.

 
 
Q. I’m a huge horse lover and was wondering do you get more horses each year from the BLM or is your herd of wild horses status quo? Have you ever thought about entering one of the wild horses in an Extreme Rescue Horse Makeover to train one of your wild horses and enter the Makeover competition with them?

A. We received all our horse in the first several years of our contract and under our contract we would not be permitted to catch and train the horses under our care.

 
 
Q. Hi. When are you going to bring your wife and family on a trip to Scotland? Wouldn’t you find it really interesting to see how we go about rearing beef cattle over here?

A. We would love to go to Scotland; hopefully we can do it before our oldest child goes to college. Will you show us around if we come?

 
 
Q. Do baby calves only nurse from their moms or can/do they nurse from other cows too?

A. You can transplant calves to another cow, but it’s usually not very easy. Most cows don’t want a strange calf sucking them.

 
 
Q. Why do the boys/men wear chaps and the women/ladies don’t? Fashion decision, is it gender-specific?

A. Our girls wear chaps; usually, it really just depends on the type of work we’re doing that day.

 
 
Q. I am considering homeschooling my children, what reasons made you decide to homeschool?

A. We originally started homeschooling our oldest daughter because of transportation reasons. Our main reason now is just to be able to spend more time with our kids. I’m blessed to have a job where they can work with me a lot, and if they’re home doing school I can stop in and see them several times throughout the day.

In case you’re in need of a little strangeness, here’s a small handful of some weird moments here on Confessions of a Pioneer Woman.

It’s by no means representative of the total sum of weirdness that exists here. It is but a wee glimpse.

WEIRD MOMENTS

1. Grandma Iny’s Booger: This is a story about my beloved great-grandma and me. It might make you a little queasy.

 
2. Tanner the Barbie Dog: I don’t think this is on the market anymore.

 
3. Juice Bag: I’m sorry.

 
 
4. All I Wanted Was a Dougnut: In other news, I actually stopped by the same convenience store and was able to buy a doughnut there for the first time since this incident. I’m getting stronger every day.

 
 
5. Help Me Rhonda. I know this is disturbing. I’m sorry.

 
 
6. Me and Ice Cream: A Tragic Love Story. Why do these things always happen to me?

 
 
7. From the Standpoint of a Sausage. Clearly I needed a hobby.

 
 
8. Bassets Running: Northeastern Oklahoma Edition. Gravity is not their friend.

 
 
9. And finally: What Happens When I Leave the House. A song only a mother could love.

Q & A

Now, if you’re still around and I haven’t lost you due to the vintage yearbook photos of Charlie up there, I wanted to invite you to submit questions, if you have any, to Dear Pioneer Woman. Feel free to ask general advice questions, questions about love, relationships, or anything else that might be on your mind. If you have questions about behind-the-scenes things relating to my Food Network show, my stance on bananas, or my toenails ask away! Or, if you have any agricultural or ranch-related questions for Marlboro Man, he’d be happy to give you a few answers in that realm. (He loves talking about agriculture.)

I’ll do an assortment of questions and answers in a separate post. (Note: If you’d rather not post it in the comments, feel free to submit your questions to advice@thepioneerwoman.com.)

IN CLOSING

Hope you’re having a great Wednesday, everyone!

What’s up in your world today?

Here’s one last photo to keep you going.

 
Oh, Charlie.

Your breath was so…different back then.

Lots of Love,
P-Diddy

I started blogging seven years ago.

Seven years ago…I started blogging.

In some ways, it feels like only yesterday. In other ways, it seems like forever ago.

Over the next few days, I’ll be highlighting random things from the past seven years and doing fun things here and there across the site to celebrate. For this post, I’ve thought about ways I could sit down and write a recap of the last seven years, but my brain misfired because of all the different things I could talk about.

So I’ll just do a rapid-fire list.

I started my blog in 2006 on a total whim.

I used free online software and had it up and running in ten minutes.

I was wearing yoga pans with holes in the nether regions.

I loved blogging from the start.

I posted snapshots, weird stories, cowboy colloquialisms, and terrible poems.

I had no plan for my blog beyond…well, blogging.

Then I got a camera and started working on my photography.

I fell in love with photography and began telling stories through photos.

I shared stories of the ranch, held photo naming contests, and blogged seven days a week.

I inhaled blogging. I had things to say. Important things. Things about Ethel Merman. And cow manure. And calf nuts.

I’d found blogging. And it had found me.

Months after I started my blog, I started posting cooking tutorials and began telling food stories through photos.

I loved it, too.

A year after I started my blog, I moved all my recipes to a separate cooking blog.

A year or so later, I moved the two into one website, The Pioneer Woman.

Then I added Photography and Home and Garden sections.

Later, I added a Homeschooling section.

Last year, I added an Entertainment section.

In 2009, I wrote my first cookbook.

In 2011, I wrote my first children’s book and started my show on Food Network.

In 2012, I wrote my second cookbook and my second children’s book.

I’m just now finishing my third cookbook. I’ve worked hard on it. I’ve cooked my fangers to the bone. I’ve been doing situps.

I’m filming some more episodes for Food Network.

I’m still blogging.

And I still love it.

 
And I’m still the same old weirdo who posted audio clips of herself burping the alphabet and singing Britney Spears songs with Ethel Merman’s voice, who posted about the time she had an abscess in her sinus cavity because she shoved Fruit Stripe gum wrappers up her nose when she was a little girl, who posted about sticking a paper clip behind her toenail in history class in eleventh grade, and who threw her Sassoon underwear in an empty coffin while taking a tour of a local funeral home with her church youth group in the ninth grade.

If someone had told me in May of 2006 that the blog I just started would lead to any of those other things, I would have laughed them out of the room.

But that’s part of why I’ve enjoyed this whole process. There have been many surprises along the way.

There’s been hard work, too. There’ve been a few exhausted moments. There’s been balance to achieve.

But I think I’ve finally gotten there.

(For now.)

When I started my blog, I was 37.

I’m 44 now.

When I started my blog, I had 20/20 vision.

I need reading glasses now.

 
 
My kids were 8, 6, 3, and 1 then.

 
 
 
They’re 15, 13, 10, and 8 now.

 
 
 
I was skinnier then…

But I’m wiser now.

 
 
 
My kids were tinier then…

But I know them better now.

 
 
 
My husband and I loved each other then…

But we love each other more now.

 
 
 
I didn’t have a basset hound then…but I have two now. Lucky me.

Except for the stench.

And finally…

I didn’t know any of you then.

But through emails, comments, Twitter, Facebook, and many in-person meetings, I know many of you now.

I’ve met some incredible human beings.

I’ve made some lifelong friends.

I’ve learned new points of view and perspectives, and my world has broadened.

Thank you guys so much for the past seven years. I’m hormonal right now and I have tears in my eyes. But even if I weren’t hormonal, I’d probably still be tearing up. I love you as a whole, I love you as individuals, and I appreciate you. Thank you so much for being a part of the last seven years of my life.

Goodbye forever,

(Just kidding.)

Love you,
P-Dub

 
 
 
Marlboro Man took photos.

 
 
 
See that muddy cow? She was stuck in the mud earlier in the morning—and I mean stuck. Marlboro Man and Tim had to (very gently, obviously) use the truck to pull her out…bless her little bovine heart.

 
 
 
She’s doing just fine now! And she’s going to have soft, supple hide on the lower 2/3 of her body because of the mud mask treatment she unwittingly received.

 
 
 
The Herefords have lots of calves right now, so they needed to get all the pairs to the pens, where they’d then separate them and work the calves.

It’s a well-established fact that I love Herefords. I think they’re the cutest cattle, the prettiest cattle, and the most talented, charming, and altruistic cattle on earth.

And they can juggle like there’s no tomorrow.

 
 
 
Keeping the calves moving along is a little challenging.

 
 
 
They like to run here and there and test the waters of rebellion.

 
 
 
But that’s what the cowboys (and cowgirls) are for.

 
 
 
See that shadow? He’s the father of my children.

 
 
 
See those calves? They have no idea who their father is.

Could be any of a handful of very happy bulls.

Did you know bulls have a very high rate of job satisfaction?

Not sure if you knew that or not.

 
 
 
That’s my father-in-law.

 
 
 
Give it up, baby! This guy’s been doing this for about sixty-five years.

 
 
 
Josh has been doing it for about twenty-five.

Maybe twenty-seven.

 
 
 
I love this time of year. The air is cool and crisp, the sky is clear, the grass is bright green, and the cattle are happy.

 
 
 
Occasionally, when gathering pairs, it’s necessary to hop off your horse and push the calves on foot.

 
 
 
When you come to a gate area, the calves often get pushed to the back. So getting down on their level and pushing them with your hands is more effective.

 
 
 
And you can get close enough to pat their bottoms.

 
 
 
You just hope they don’t coincidentally decide to poop when you pat their bottoms.

That can get a little messy.

 
 
 
Before too long…

 
 
 
They’d gotten ‘em all gathered!

 
 
 
And then they had to go right back out…

 
 
 
And do it again! My boy had to get off and push these stragglers on foot.

But it was only two miles from here to the pens.

Ahem.

 
 
 
This made for a long, long morning.

 
 
 
In other news, this makes me want a baby.

It’s tough living in the country. Too many things to trigger the maternal instinct.

 
 
 
Of course, there’s always time for a little conversation first.

I love imagining what in tarnation they’re discussing.

 
 
 
There were over 900 cattle to process that day, so Marlboro Man snapped photos while the boys would separate cattle in groups 10 to 12 at a time…

 
 
 
And bring them to the tub, which would feed into the alley, which would take the cattle one by one to the chute, where the older guys were doing their thing.

 
 
 
Getting them into the tub is one thing…but closing the gate behind them is another.

You have to push hard!

 
 
 
I can remember a time when Marlboro Man and Tim would do this task with their baby boys on their hips.

 
 
 
In fact…oops!

 
 
 
Look at what I just found.

 
 
 
Same pens. Same task.

Many years ago.

Sniff.

 
 
 
Anyway, now they do it by themselves!

 
 
 
I’m going to go cry now.

 
 
 
The paddles they’re using are lightweight plastic, and they’re filled with bb-type plastic balls so they rattle when they’re move around. They mostly serve as an extension of a cowboy’s arm, putting a little healthy distance between the cattle and the cowboys’ hands, and to make a little noise. The paddles are never used to hurt the cattle—just to separate them from other animals, make a little noise, poke their bottoms, and keep them moving along.

 
 
 
Also, there’s no dawdling. Once the cattle get into the tub, they have to run to the gate to get it latched in a hurry before the cattle decide to whip around and hightail it out of there.

 
 
 
This is a very action-packed task.

 
 
 
Sometimes the cattle move in a neat, tidy group…but sometimes they scatter a little like these are.

See that red steer there? He’s got my nephew’s number.

 
 
 
Ouch! Actually, not quite ouch. The steer’s hoof came just close of whacking him square in the gut. But it was close enough that my boy decided to hide behind the gate!

No one wants to get kicked by a steer.

My nephew had tried to use the paddle to block the steer from getting past him…but he was too quick for him. And while he was at it, he thought he’d give him a little warning kick.

 
 
 
Okay, so we’ll have to try that one again.

 
 
 
After a near-kick like that one, the cowboys are sufficiently spooked. My son, as you can see, is gallantly running toward the steer to save his cousin from another altercation.

Or not.

 
 
 
Here, the red steer has miraculously gone into the tub, so they have to hurry and close the gate while keeping the other cattle out.

 
 
 
Hurry! Hurry!

 
 
 
Got it!

My heart is racing just writing this.

 
 
 
So then it’s back to get more…

 
 
 
And they keep doing this all the live long day, until the last of the cattle are in the tub.

Then they go home, take a shower, eat dinner, and pass out for a month.

(Or at least a good 10 hours or so.)