If you’re going to be a winning poker player, you must be mastered in the art of deception. And, depending on how good your opponents are, we’re talking deception on many levels. Of course, most winning players are looking for easy money, and playing against people who think about the game and their opponents on any other level than a basic one is a good way to bog down the whole money-making process. So, it’s often just come as you are at the money tables. By this, I mean straightforward ABC poker with a little deception thrown in to throw off any other sharks that might be lurking in the game you’re playing.



But, if you think about it, good poker players are natural born deceivers. No, I don’t mean to imply they’re all of questionable character. Not at all. But, if you’re naturally good at keeping secrets and manipulating others, poker tables are some of the best places I can think of to put such skills to use.



To say that someone is difficult to read, or is just plain unreadable is to say that the person is deeper than most, having many layers that need to be peeled away before discovering his or her true essence. Of course, if you’re a beat cop, you probably need to do a lot of generalizing in order to do your job efficiently. Sitting in a patrol car and trying to think of ways the guy in a business suit walking down this side of the street might be planning some fuckery, while ignoring the guy with tattoos on his neck and fingers, carrying a backpack, and peering into random car windows on the other side of the street is not good police work.



Labeling you’re your peers is a difficult endeavor at best. I mean, how can you feel confidently that you’ve got someone all figured out if that person is your peer? He or she is supposed to be your equal, right? If you think you’ve got the ability to ‘read’ this person like a book, aren’t you really saying that you somehow have an advantage over him or her? Maybe you do have an advantage, possibly through experience.



But what about someone who was once your friend? Or lover? I mean, unless you’re the kind of person who chooses friends or romantic partners based on their susceptibility to being manipulated or deceived, you likely thought at one point that your friends and lovers had at least as much depth and substance as you.



Am I wrong here?



If I’m right, then what the hell gets into some people to make them think they’ve got their friends or lovers all figured out? Isn’t that just the height of arrogance?



Isn’t it?

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Now that I’ve settled up with a certain someone and the direction my life will be heading in is a bit clearer than before, I’ve come to realize how much I’m in dire need of a major plan or two.


 
The goal has always been to become my own boss, meaning self-employed. Lots of people dream this, but few ever even get into the planning stage. I’m now fully aware that I’m in danger of becoming one of these people. I’m reminded of the lyrics of a cheesy heavy metal song from my school days:
 

 
We see the light of those who find
A world has passed them by
To late to save a dream that’s growing cold
 


 
Strange how a song that once inspired me now causes me to feel a bit depressed, partially because it reminds me that I’ve taken on a few years since the days when those lyrics used to blare through my car stereo’s speakers, and partially because I haven’t quite chased the dream with as much vigor as I’d imagined I would.
 

 

No, it’s not too late. In fact, some will say it’s never too late. I don’t know about never, but I do know that it’s time to get serious or GTFO.

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When you spend months anticipating a certain event on a certain day, you wonder how things’ll be. Will it be anticlimactic? Will the weariness of waiting take its toll to such an extent that the best part of the whole deal is the relief of not having to wait anymore? Or will it be more special than you’d imagined?



That day of reckoning is fast approaching for me, and honestly it’s taking everything I have to keep it all under control until then, in spite of the fact that it’ll be here in no time.



We all have certain ideals and expectations about how things should be, what we expect from the people we decide to get close to and what we think they expect from us. I won’t try to convince anyone that I don’t tend to be a bit on the controlling side, nor that I’m good at sensing what others are feeling or thinking. In Japanese there are phrases like “ki ga kiku”, which means being empathetic, or “kuuki yomeru”, meaning literally read the air, but it basically means knowing what is going on, or should be done without having anything directly said about it. KY is what you get called if you can’t read the air in Japan (kuuki yomenai). That’s me, no doubt about it.



I’ve done my best to try pick up things without having them directly said to me. However, the problem is that I can’t stop second-guessing myself. And when I think I have picked up something, but I end up being wrong, a certain someone lets me know just how KY I really am. I should push for a little more straightforwardness I guess.



Anyway, what’s in store for this day of reckoning? I have to admit, it’s not too clear to me. But, I do know that it’s going to be tough, no matter what. I wrote last time about patience and understanding, and I’ll need to make sure they’re both in ample supply on that day.

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In Japan, the Emperor’s birthday (December 23rd) is a holiday, so lots of westerners living here take advantage of the day to have their Christmas celebrations since they’ll likely be working on the 25th.



I have both days off. Well, the 23rd has come and gone already, and Christmas is tomorrow. To be honest, I haven’t thought much of Christmas since I was 20. In my early 20’s, I usually worked jobs that required me to have a Christmas-day shift, and sometimes a graveyard shift at that. Even though I tried to spend a little time with my family on those occasions, I never seemed to feel I was missing out on the holiday that was much more special to me in my schoolboy years.



After moving to Portland, OR when I was 25, I found myself usually joining the big Christmas Eve gathering at my aunt’s and uncle’s house. In those years, I kind of felt reinvigorated with the spirit of the holiday. My aunt would play guitar and sing Christmas songs in her beautiful voice while everyone sang along. Basically, in the middle of the party, there was a candlelit Christmas service for 30 minutes or so. I say was, but they’re still doing it these years.



So, tonight I sit here in my room in south Tokyo thinking about what Christmas means to me. On Christmas Eve in Japan, young couples get together and go out, often to romantic places. The holiday has a Valentine’s Day feel to it. I’m sure if I stepped out into the evening right now, I’d see a fair number of couples going in and out of the local train station. And, even though I’m separated by the largest continent in the world from my special someone, I don’t feel like I’m missing out on Christmas in Japan. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be with her more than anything right now. But, that’s got nothing to do with any holiday.



I do feel like I’m missing out on something else, though. My mother and father, aunts and uncles… They’re not young anymore. How many more chances will there be for us to have Christmas together? I know my mother and father miss me and would love to have me back in the States with them for the holidays.



For so many years, I’ve been able to take a pass on family Christmas gatherings without much guilt or too many feelings of sadness.



This year is different, though. I think I might make a New Year’s resolution about next year’s Christmas.

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The above two qualities have been in short supply for me during most of my life.



I’m an extremist. I do the things I want to do 100% or not at all. When I have some goal I’m working toward, I become relentless, not slowing down until I can clearly see the finish line. I say ‘finish line’ because working toward a goal is a competition. It’s a battle with one’s self, since we all have multifaceted personalities.



In most ways, this has been quite productive for me. I graduated university at the top of my class, I have always been a strong competitor in any sports I have taken seriously, and I usually have a strong reputation as a solid-to-exceptional employee wherever I work.



I guess, overall, I’m a very independent and self-centered individual, which would be fine if I were immune to the effects of falling in love. But, I’m not.



I live by a certain code, which I believe for the most part, is the right one. There are certain types of behavior that are just unacceptable in any country, any culture. Yeah, they go on every day and most people don’t say a word openly. But, they grumble to themselves or complain to friends and family. The only ones who’ll listen. I guess the best example I can come up with is the way people tend to disregard others when they move about in public spaces in major metropolitan areas. In some cities, not saying “pardon me” after bumping into someone can get you a beating, or worse. In other cities, the offended won’t even bat an eye. Whatever…



In relationships, I do my best to treat others fairly and expect to be treated fairly by them. But, anyone with even a modicum of life experience knows that holding such an expectation at all times, ready to be disappointed at the slightest deviation from such an ideal, is, at best, an exercise in frustration. Why? Because 1, people are human and are capable of letting their emotions take over control, and 2, we all have our own ideas about what fair play truly is.



From the time of childhood, I’ve always had trouble exercising patience. Instant gratification was always the order of the day, and when it seemed that a little time might be required to obtain something desired, my pessimistic self took over, ordered an immediate termination of all activities not promising to bear fruit immediately, and started reciting wise old quotes, expressions, and even song lyrics. You know, C’est la vie, Life’s a bitch, then you die, or You can’t always get what you want.



I never learned the value of persistence until I was much older. A couple of good Thomas Edison quotes sum up just how important it is to be persistent when you really want something: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” and “Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.” But, again, whatever… When it comes to relationships, something else is needed…



If you choose to love someone (How much of a choice it is is not so clear to me, but…), you choose to mostly accept them for who they are or you spend days, weeks, months, and maybe years being frustrated and disappointed. We all try to control our loved ones to some extent, attempting to manipulate them by convincing them that their way of thinking about something is wrong while ours is right. And, to some degree, this is necessary. Some people just say, Hey, you have to totally accept people for who they are. And if they don’t treat you 100% the way you want to be treated, they’re just not right for you.



Bullshit. That philosophy could easily send one swinging from one relationship to another. Without cooperation and understanding, no relationship can ever be a happy one.



However, the inability to give in and try to understand where your partner’s coming from, why they behave the way the do at times, will keep any relationship from growing.



Right now, this is where I’m at.



For most of my adult life I’ve known that without patience and understanding, happy relationships are impossible. I just ignored the fact.



But, I think I’ve finally realized how stupid I’ve been.

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Today, while browsing the IMDb website for a movie to recommend to a friend, I decided to give her a link to Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon, an all-time favorite from my childhood. Needless to say, I was a bit more than just disappointed when I saw that a remake is in the works.



Let me tell you about my love for the movie, The Last Dragon. When I was a kid, I saw this movie in a theater and loved it. The then-modern Motown soundtrack, the cheesy comedy, the kung fu action… It was the best! When it finally hit video, I dubbed a VHS copy (before Macrovision) and watched it every day for probably 6 months straight.



I don’t know why I was so obsessed with the film, but there were a lot of things to like. The gorgeous Vanity as TV host Laura Charles, The comedic shenanigans of kick-ass kung fu guru Glen Eaton, the non-stop music…But most of all, you had to love Sho’nuff, played by Julius J. Carry III, an excellent character actor who was also great in the TV show Brisco County Jr. with Bruce Campbell. Carry has a couple of scene-stealing moments where you just have to rewind and watch him again. Sadly enough, I learned that he passed away from pancreatic cancer last year while checking out his wikipedia page.



The film actually has two bad guys, who unite toward the end to do away with the main character “Bruce” Leroy Green, played by a guy named Taimak, who didn’t go on to bigger and better things. Christopher Murney was also quite good as the main bad guy, Eddie Arkadian.



Anyway, enough with that…



What I really want to say is, Hollywood, would you please stop fucking up every single classic cult movie you can with remakes? I don’t care if you get Samuel Jackson involved, I don’t care who produces or directs the movies, enough already!



Let’s see some originality, for fuck sake!

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Well, I’ve finally put my money where my mouth is; I turned in my resignation at work and will become self-employed at 9:00 p.m. on July 29th. My boss, a pretty decent guy all around, said he’d keep the door open for me to come back if I wish. Who knows, that may be an option as a last resort, but I’m determined to make my own way in the world from now on. And, my self-confidence is running higher than it ever has.



Yep. There’s no better time than the present.



So, where to from here? First stop, Las Vegas of course. Looking forward to visiting the folks there and to just being back in the States; haven’t been out of Japan for over three years. And, as expected, I’ll be spending a lot of time at the poker tables.



After that, I’m not completely sure where I’ll end up. I made sure to secure a long-term visa for living and working in Japan, and eventually hope to start up a business here. But, between Vegas and returning to Japan, anything can happen, right? I might find myself in Europe, playing in a major poker tournament. Or, down in Melbourne, visiting one of my good friends in his hometown.



I have to say, I’m liking the uncertainty of it all.

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A friend of mine, who has lived here in Tokyo for a few years and has loved almost every day of it, has decided to pack it in and head back home. I don’t know the details surrounding the reason for his impending departure, but it’s got me thinking about my own future here in the land of the rising sun.



Why am I thinking about a possible departure myself? Well, there are two main reasons:

• I’ve had enough of my job and am not sure if I’d be interested in working one of the few other jobs in Japan for which I’m qualified. And,
• My long-term poker winrate is so high that it seems like a waste to not play poker full time, where I could likely double my current income.

To be honest, I’m not looking to get out of Japan, or even just Tokyo, for that matter. I’d like to stay. But, unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be able to save enough money at my current income level to set up my own business here in Japan in the next few years, which is ultimately what I’d like to do.



It seems at this point that my best bet would be to relocate to Vegas for the time being, play poker full time while enjoying the freedom of not being tied down to a company job, and save as much as I can doing it to get a business going in the next couple of years. While having a lot less stress in my life is one benefit of not slaving away at a regular job, I’ll also have more time to think creatively about my plans for the future.



Well, no matter what, I have a strong feeling that this year needs to be a year of unprecedented change for me. A positive change, of course, but one that’s going to take an extraordinary effort on my part. When the dust settles at the end of summer, I should be on a course that will bring me closer to my destiny.

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I started off going 4000 hands at around 7.5 BB/100 only to level off at 6000 hands at 4.1 BB/100. Granted, I had a couple of meltdowns and played some pretty stupid poker through a couple of sessions. But overall, I’m pleased with this winrate.



Actually the 4.1 BB/100 winrate is averaged from the winrates I’ve achieved playing Hold ‘Em at various limits. At the lower limits, the winrate is higher and at the higher limits, it’s lower.



I’ve been playing a lot lately, mostly because I’ve been staying home most of the time on weekends in order to reach my savings goal for the summer. And, since I’m at home so often and am worried about money, playing a lot of poker has been a great way to add more dollars to my name. And, since I’ve had just about enough of my job and am ready to leave it, playing a ton of cards will be good for me since I’m likely to play poker full time after this job is history.

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In case you haven’t noticed, there are some new micro-limit Hold ‘Em games at Full Tilt Poker. The lowest tables are $0.5-$0.10 limit. And yes, these poker tables are crushable for any reasonably-experienced Hold ‘Em player.



Of course, only beginners, dabblers, and hobbyists are likely to spend any real time at these tables, but anyone needing to brush up on their loose-game play a little bit will really appreciate the availability of these tables. In fact, I’ve had so much fun playing these games during the last couple weeks, I’ll be sure to continue visiting them quite often.



These days, my full-time job and after-work lifestyle here in Tokyo keep me too busy to spend much time playing poker. But, I do use the money I make during my limited time at Full-Tilt playing only low-limit Hold ‘Em to pay for my website hosting service and domain name purchases. And, by playing at the $0.5-$0.10 tables, I’ve made just as much money (if not a little more) in the last two weeks as I have playing $0.25-$0.50, and I’ve really enjoyed the loose play. If you play the $0.25-$0.50 tables at Full Tilt regularly, you know these games can be as tight $3-$6 games at times.



Hopefully these new micro-limit Hold ‘Em poker games won’t bust too many people out too quickly causing them to become as tight as the $0.25-$0.50 games often are.

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