The Ponder Pond

My Discovery of the Apron

2011-10-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

I am not a big fan of cooking or baking. I do not have the gift of looking in the refrigerator and creating a meal from what is there. I wish I had this gift. My mother and my aunts all possess this gift. I am fascinated and jealous of it. I struggle for new ideas as my creativity does not reach into the kitchen. However, as much as I dislike not knowing what I am doing in the kitchen, I have made it my goal to conquer the beast of cooking and baking. In my quest to find my place in the culinary arts, I did find a love for the apron. It not only protects you from ruining your clothes, but it doubles as a fanny pack! I don't have to search the kitchen for the towel I just had or look for the phone! It all fits on or in the apron. I hate to admit it, but I find myself wearing it most of the day as it helps me through out the house. I used to think my aunt was odd because she always has an apron on (apologies out to my dear aunt). After discovering it's usefulness, I was inspired to make a couple for myself to wear for the holidays as I attempt baking.

I used the Kwik Sew Pattern 3787. This pattern is fun and simple to make. I hope to make a few more aprons as I only have two holiday's represented and a few different patterns I am anxious to try!

A few gifts

2011-03-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

My Mother had asked me to make these items for a friend of hers.

This was my first attempt at making place mats. I used a 2 inch diamond quilt pattern and serged the edges.

This kitchen set was made for a male family member. I chose material that I felt would be masculine, but not manly.

Dish towels are made of terry cloth and strips of scrap material.

These are coordinating 18 x 18 inch napkins.

The pot holders and oven mitt were made with patterns from the One-Yard Wonders: 101 Sewing Fabric Projects book. I love this book! I can't wait to do more from it.

This is a kitchen in a bag. I made this small tote with the left over material from the apron. It holds the wash cloths, dish towels, apron, napkins, pot holders and oven mitt!

My Children.... My Reflection

2011-01-30T13:36:00.000-08:00

I have two small children and every day I see more and more of myself and my husband in them. Good and unfortunately bad traits from both of us show through them. I catch myself stopping in mid-sentence or before I lose my temper to re-evaluate what I am going to teach them through my words and actions. Although they have free will to do whatever they want to do, with love, direction and discipline we teach our children what we feel is the correct way to live and hopefully when they are grown they will take the values we have taught them and live by them.

I believe God does the same thing with us. Through the Bible and through different teachers, whether it is our parents, Pastor or both, we learn the values that Christ wants us to live by. We in turn become a reflection of Him, just as our children are the reflection of us. I have known this my entire life, but it wasn’t until I had my own children and saw how they emulate me and my husband, that it became clear. We try as teenagers to be what are parents are not, but somehow, no matter how hard we try, we end up resembling our parents. If I was not brought up with the Bible and the teachings in it, I do not want to even imagine how I would have turned out. Throughout my life, Christ has been there with me, even though I was not living out the values that I was taught.

I pray that my children remember the values and love that I am trying to instill in them. I pray that they will always remember the lessons of love, discipline and direction that I am teaching them. The Bible says “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) I believe every word of this verse. I am living proof! I was raised with Bible studies every morning for 10 years before school. I lived like hell through my twenties. I am now in my thirties and have given my life completely back to God, who in His grace has forgiven me. I pray for my children’s sake, they choose to stay with God and the teaching I am giving them, and that they never stray, but if they go off course I still have Gods promise that they will come back.

Still Sewing!

2011-01-03T21:35:00.000-08:00

At the end of 2009, I decided I needed a hobby and gave a try at sewing. Turns out, I am pretty good at it. My first "big" project was a diaper bag made with the pattern from Craft Apple. I love it! I used Amy Butler's water garden / forest for the outside and mosaic / green for the inside. Both fabrics are from her Daisy Chain collection.

Since making this bag, my husband bought me a sewing machine and my mother's husband gave me a serger. I have been sewing as much as I can; bags, pajama pants for the kids, husband and myself, notebook and three ring binder covers and more. My goal for 2011 is to start sewing clothing outside of lounge pants. Many thanks to all the bloggers out there who share tips and suggestions for sewing!

Butterfly Faith

2010-09-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

Faith by biblical definition "is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1). When I was younger I remember, all the preachers, teachers and pastors were teaching on faith. I was raised that if you have enough faith in God, all things are possible. I still believe this. With that being said, I can also tell you that I have always questioned on whether or not I had enough faith. I have even doubted my own salvation. I would questions if my doubt was proof I didn't really have faith. I walked away from all lessons on faith with the understanding that faith was just believing. Unfortunately, I walked away with just that. Up until recently, I have struggled with "having" faith, mainly because I have deep rooted skepticism. I am a born skeptic. I question everything. So you can imagine how the phrase "just have faith" makes me cringe. It wasn't until I planted my butterfly bush and watched it grow that I learned the truth about faith and how it works. (God will use what ever he can to get his point across!)

I love butterflies. They are whimsical, delicate, fluttery creatures. They remind me of little fairies. Butterflies make me happy. This last fall I planted a butterfly bush, in hopes that swarms of butterflies would grace my yard with their presence. I highly doubted it, but a girl can hope! By Spring it had grown to be as tall as my house with beautiful honey smelling rainbow blooms.To my delight and surprise not a day has gone by this spring and summer without seeing butterflies. All shapes, colors and sizes!

God always answers our prayers. We may not like the answer, but he answers. Faith is not just believing. Faith is doing. I learned that doubt will not stop God from working in our lives. We stop God by letting doubt get in our way. I have learned that faith is doing what you know needs to be done, even if you think it will not work. The Bible shows us several examples of steps of faith. He gave the Israelites specific instruction to walk around Jericho. They doubted as they walked but they did it and the walls fell as promised. Jesus put mud on a blind man's eyes and then told him to go and wash it off in a pool of water! The man was blind! Instead of reminding Jesus of this, he got up, did as he was told and was healed.
I planted my butterfly bush doubting that it would attract butterflies. I was mistaken. If I would have listened to my doubt I would have miss out! Most seeds of faith are planted in doubt, but actions and listening to God produces the answers and results you are hoping for.

Sins of the Past

2010-06-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

I am so thankful that God forgives. When I look back at my twenties I cringe. I pray my children make better decisions than I made. I am happy in every aspect of my life today, but I struggled terribly to get here. I will not go into details about my past, except to say that I am glad it is the past. The fact that God's grace and forgiveness is so great helps me move forward. When I remember things or am reminded of the paths that I chose, anxiety sets in. My only source of peace is remembering that I am the one who keeps whipping myself with the memories, because once God forgives he forgets. We may have consequences that result from our actions, but we are still forgiven. I am always amazed at His grace and understanding. I only hope that I learn to be just as forgiving, and show grace as God has shown to me.

1 John 1:9 (King James Version)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I Feel Like Sarah

2010-01-09T09:13:00.000-08:00

In the Bible, Sarah took matters into her own hands instead of trusting God's word and promise. I feel like have done the same thing. I excepted a job that had everything I was looking for and thought it was God's answer to prayer. I now think that I made a terrible mistake. The man I work for says he is a Christian and I do not doubt that he is based on the fact that only God knows ones true commitment. The Bible also states that " out of the heart, the mouth speaks." That being said, I am unsure that I am where God wants me to be. The environment that I am now working in, is less than to be desired. The man I work for curses more than a Marine and tells tasteless jokes. I say nothing because he is my boss and because I need this job. Although I have been told to express when I have been offended, I also fear the backlash. He has made it clear that if he doesn't like someone, he will make it uneasy for them to want to stay or just fire them.
I feel like Sarah, because I have been praying for a job that pays well and that is part time. I have exactly that, but at what cost? God does not answer prayer to make you miserable. I am a very tolerant person and hard offend, so I know that I am not being sensitive to what is going on around me and toward me. Sarah took matters into her own hands and caused herself unnecessary stress and heartache. I believe I have done the same. Instead of praying and seeking God for answers, I excepted this position in the assumption that it was sent from God. I search for answers to questions such as, what lesson am I supposed to be learning? There is a reason for all that we go through in life, what are the reasons I am at this job and was it really sent in my direction to teach me something? I am still unsure of a lot of things, except for the fact that I am uncomfortable in my surroundings at work and I need to find a new job.

I Feel Old

2009-11-08T09:03:00.000-08:00

I was drying my hair this morning and noticed I have too many gray hairs. I know it happens to everyone, but I went from having one, to more than I can count. I used to pull them out when I saw them, but now I am afraid I might end up with a bald spot. Lately, I have noticed things happening that I was not expecting to happen so soon.

I look for fiber content in just about everything I eat and bedtime is getting earlier and earlier. I catch myself complaining about today's music and my sister and I use the phrase "remember when" a lot more than I care to admit. It creeps up on you, one minute your young and full of energy and the next you need an afternoon nap! There is never enough time in the day to get everything done, nor is there enough energy. Looking back, I used to go days on two or three hours of sleep. Now I can’t function unless I get at least 6 hours a night. I now understand the full meaning of “youth is wasted on the young.”

I know I am still not that old, but when my mother was my age, I thought she was old! (Sorry Mom) She was a grandmother in her 30’s! Why wouldn't I think she was old? Time used to seem to stand still, now it races forward. As I get older, I am more self conscious. I used to just worry about getting wrinkles, now I worry about hair growing in places it shouldn't, or is a face, boob or butt lift an acceptable reason to cash in my 401K?! We like to say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but let’s be honest with ourselves; how we see ourselves is how we assume others see us, even our beholder.

While I am still contemplating my retirement, I pray that exercise and diet will slow things down a bit. Lord knows my vanity, and I can only hope He deals with me compassionately!

Windows Update Not Working

2009-10-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

I am not exactly sure how my computer got what I thought was a virus, but it took me just about an entire day to fix. I didn't download anything, so my assumption is I got it from some website. My laptop has a sensitive mouse pad and I have clicked on links by accident, so chances are that I click a bad link. I have used several Anti-virus programs, and to be honest I am not a big any of them, but I needed one to fix my problem. This virus disabled my Windows Update. I searched for "Windows Update is disabled" and similar phrases and found a lot of help, however every time I clicked on the links it would send me to some random website, e.g. yellow pages. Very Frustrating. I searched online for a antivirus program that I was told worked great and it was free. It did not help me, however I did find STOPzilla. I purchased the program, because I was desperate to fix the problem. Turns out my computer did not have a virus, it was some sort of spyware or malware that was turning my system into a nightmare. STOPzilla cleaned my system and now it works great! I had tried other free programs that have helped in the past, but this time it was unsuccessful. STOPzilla monitors websites and pop-ups and let you decided what is allowed and what is not without slowing down your web browsing. My computer is now working very nicely! I am back to browsing the Internet happily.

Teenagers Having Sex

2009-10-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

I recently watched an episode of Lie to Me which was about teenage girls having sex with college boys for fun. The main characters had found birth control pills in his daughters bedroom and he flipped out. His ex-wife knew about it and was the one who gave them to her for protection just in case she was going to have sex. By the end of the episode the father gave back the birth control pills and became the "understanding dad".

I think the first response of the father was the best one. I do not believe in condoning teenagers having sex. I believe that you need to teach your children the dangers of it and explain to them that abstinence is the best protection from disease or pregnancy. I also know that teenagers will find a way to do what they want, it is part of being a teenager. However, I do not think you should make it easy for them or supply them with protection/birth control just in case. To say "don't have sex" then give them protection, in my opinion gives a mixed message. In the state of California, the legal age to consent is 18. My question is if you give a teenager under the age of 18 birth control or condoms is it considered contributing to the delinquency of a minor?

I Need a Hobby

2009-10-07T19:10:00.001-07:00

I have decided that I need a hobby. I thought I already had one, but I am told reading is not a hobby. So, I am going to start sewing. My sister has also decided to start sewing with me. Our first project was something that was supposed to be simple. We made aprons. I think it turned out OK, if I were to be given a grade, I think I would get a B. It took me two days to finish. I am pretty sure it should have only taken a few hours.
Sewing is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I figured you follow a pattern and that is about it. I had no idea sewing had it's own language and phrases. I found myself running back to the computer to look up all their definitions. I also had to learn what all the symbols on the pattern stood for.
Sewing a straight line is not as easy as it sounds either! My mother bought me a mini sewing machine that I used to make the apron. I would like to think the lines on my apron are crooked because of the machine, but I'll be honest, they would not have been straight on any machine I used. Luckily I picked out thread that you can barely see! I am also happy that although you need to try to cut the fabric straight, it does not have to be perfect for the project to look nice. This little bit of information helped keep my anxiety to a minimum.
My next project is a business portfolio. I will be using a pattern by Amy Butler. There is some detail to it, but I am sure I can get it. I am looking for all the fabric I need. There are so many to choose from, it is a little intimidating. I have searched all over the Internet and I think I might have to actually leave the house to select the fabric that is just right (not easy to do with two small kids). Wish me luck and I will give an update on the portfolio.

The Simpsons: 21st Season

2009-10-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

I can not believe the Simpsons have been on the air for so long. I remember about 15 years ago I had a small dog who barked every time she heard the doorbell ring. I swear every episode of the Simpsons has a doorbell ringing in it. I am pretty sure that is one of the reasons I stopped watching it. I am amazed that a cartoon could run so long. Congratulations to the creators of The Simpsons! This is truly a huge accomplishment.

Hatred in America

2009-09-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading the article Secret Service Probing Obama Assassination Poll on Facebook that was posted on the Fox News website. I also read quite a few of the comments attached. I am shocked at the amount of hatred that is going on between the people of this country. I think it is horrible that this country is so divided. Whether someone is a part of the Democratic party or Republican party, this behavior is unacceptable.

The article explains how someone posted a poll asking if President Obama should be assassinated and that the secret service is looking into it. The poll has been taken off of Facebook, but the fact that it was on there is disgraceful. I hope they find the person who posted this poll. However anyone may feel about our current President is irrelevant. This should have never happened. My horror is that I am sure there were those out there who actually voted on it before it was taken off the website. There seems to be no value of life or morals left in this country.

When reading the comments attached to the article, I was even more troubled. The name calling and hatred spewed out on just about every post is ridiculous. How can anyone expect to be taken seriously, when all that come out of them is pure ugliness. It is not just from one side of the fence either. Democrats, Republicans and everyone in between seems to share the same hatred for each other. What happened to having disagreements without verbal attacks? I am saddened by the division in this country and what it can lead to.

One of God's Gifts

2009-08-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

I just got back from visiting my grandparents. I still have three grandparents living; my dad’s mom, who is turning 80 this month and both my mother’s parents, who are also in their 80’s. I am so blessed to still have them in my life.
My dad’s mom lives in a different state than I do. I try to call her once a week. When we talk it is for hours at a time. I love it. We talk about everything. Through her, I have learned more about my dad and how he was as a child. It is hard for me to imagine my dad as a baby, but the stories are great. My favorite one is how my grandma found my dad in the closet drinking his brother’s bottle, which he stole!
I have also learned more about my grandmother. I know I will never play Trivial Pursuit with her again. She kicked my tail. She probably can sing a little tune on just about any subject and she has, as long as I can remember, been a lot of fun to talk to. She once told me that when she dies, she wants a closed casket and a picture of her giving “the bird” for everyone to remember her by.
My other two grandparents live about fifteen minutes from me. I try to visit them as much as I can. When I was little I used to spend spring break at their house. I would go to Bible study with my grandma and when we were home, we would listen to talk radio. To this day, she still has it on in every room of the house, so she does not miss a word. My grandmother has given me invaluable advice on how to rear my kids. We discuss marriage, life with Jesus and of course, politics. I can also, trust her to tell me if I have lost or gained weight, if I am wearing the correct color of lipstick and if my hair looks nice. She encourages me to always look my best.
I love the fact that my kids are getting the opportunity to know them. My oldest is always asking to go to his grandpa’s house. They are eighty two years apart, and I can say it is the neatest thing to see them together. My son loves taking his grandpa outside to play. I am sure my grandfather gets warn out, although he would never admit it.
There are so many people who do not have their grandparents anymore. I am extremely happy that I am able to visit and talk with mine. There is no “generation gap” between us. I enjoy their company and love the conversations. I wish that I could keep them here forever! With Gods help, I hope I can teach my kids the importance of a close relationship with their grandparents and what a gift it is.

How did my mother do it?

2009-08-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

I can not stand having a cold. My nose gets stuffy, and I just want to rip it off! I have no energy and two small children. I have been avoiding my housework for about two days now. Every time I walk by a pile of clothes, dishes in the sink or an unmade bed, I tell myself I will get to it later. Now, I am just overwhelmed because of my procrastination!
Growing up there were three of us kids. I do not remember too much from when I was little, however I know the house was always clean and neat. We, kids, were given chores when we were old enough, but I would like to know how my mother did it when we were very young. My sister was four when I was born and my brother two. I always seem to need help with my kids when I travel, have doctors appointments or anything in between.
I know I would get annoyed when some lady brought her kid on a plane or bus and the kid was crying or screaming. I would judge and say ugly things to myself about them being a bad parent. I not only feel bad about how I felt, but have been put in similar situations with my kids. Lets just say I have been humbled! When my little guys start crying or fussing, I instantly go into a panic attack! I anxiously try to calm them and get them quiet, so we do not disturb others around us. My sister says I need to get over it and that people are more understanding. It would be nice to know that I was the only judgemental person out there, but somehow I do not think that is the case. I have, by the grace of God, learned my lesson not to judge.
I know my mother traveled over seas by herself with three small kids. I again am baffled on how she accomplished this without panicking or losing her mind completely. Not to mention what she must have looked like after a 12 or 13 hour flight. I went to a 4Th of July barbecue, happy because I was having a great hair day (which is rare when you have small kids). After just a few hours of holding my infant son, I looked in a mirror and was horrified by my reflection. I looked like I had just lost a wrestling match; hair everywhere, make-up smudged. I can relate to mothers who pull their hair back in a pony tail all the time, or just cut it off.
It would have been nice if my mother would have passed down her tricks to the trade, or wrote some sort of guideline, even, a "Juggling Your Kids and Life for Dummies" book would have worked. I am sure she left me clues growing up, but I missed them. I do wish I had paid more attention!

My Big Sister

2009-08-06T09:12:00.001-07:00

My sister and I are about as opposite as two people can be. Growing up together has helped mold me into who I am today. She has taught me lessons only a big sister can teach.

When Ronald Reagan was elected President, my sister was around 11 years old. I remember she came running out of the house in a panic, screaming "We're going to war!, We're all going to die!" She's a little dramatic. A few years later when I came home crying because a girl had picked on me at the bus stop, my big sister walked to that girl's house and threatened her and her sibling with bodily harm. I would say she over reacted a little. In my pre-teen years, my sister sat on me for three hours, just because she thought it would be funny. I did not want to upset her so I went along with it. When she started working. she would cash her paycheck, and she would run down to the store and buy a one pound bag of M&M's for us to share secretly. I was always happy when she got paid.

Through all of this, my big sister taught me that not everything you hear on the news is accurate and there is no need to panic. When being attacked or picked on, stand up for yourself and fight back. She has taught me how to practice patience, have endurance and that every now and then its ok to treat yourself to a sweet treat!

Paula Abdul Leaving American Idol

2009-08-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

Who leaves a job because they are not happy with their eight figure contract!? In today's economy and with the unemployment rate sky rocketing; I will be surprised if many feel bad for Paula Abdul. I can honestly say I am happy Paula Abdul will not be back for season 9 of American Idol. These last few seasons, she has annoyed me to the point of not watching the show on a regular basis. In the first few seasons she seemed to never have an original opinion. The last season or two she could not form a complete thought, at least one that made any sense. I look forward to tuning into Season 9 without Paula and her absentminded behavior.

DAUGHTRY

2009-07-25T08:42:00.000-07:00

I just purchased the new Daughtry CD, "Leave this Town". I love it. I thought Chris Daughtry's first CD, "Daughtry" was good. I liked most of the songs. This one is better. I was surprised on how much I enjoyed it. Usually you buy the second CD and it's so-so and you like one or two songs. However, pretty much every song on "Leave this Town" is excellent . So far my favorite song is "Open Up Your Eyes". I would recommend this CD to anyone who is a Daughtry fan.
I originally became a fan of Chris Daughtry when he auditioned for American Idol. I voted for him every week. That is probably the only season that I voted. I stopped voting after he went home. Although I was sad to see him go, I think it probably has worked out better for him. He has done very well. He is incredibly talented, as is the entire group. Chris.. I am a huge fan. Thank you for the awesome music!!

GARDENING TRIALS

2009-07-24T10:59:00.000-07:00

My backyard looks like it is abandoned. We took everything out except the lemon and fig tree. I have been trying to add flowers to make it look pretty. I decided it would be less expensive if I plant the flowers by seed, instead of purchasing the plant at the nursery. Sounds easy enough, right? I mean, plants and flowers grow without the help of people all the time.
I must have planted 3 to 4 packs of seeds. Not one has grown! I put the seeds in the little growing container, covered them up like it says to do. Not one little sign of life. Just wet dirt! I haven't reach the giving up point yet, but my goodness. I think if this doesn't work, I may just buy the plants. I am determined to get this backyard to look inviting!

HOUSE CLEANING A.D.D.

2009-07-18T20:57:00.000-07:00

I think A.D.D. has a way of creeping out in everyone. It tends to come out when I am cleaning my house. I'll be working in one room and find a cup that goes in the kitchen. I head to the kitchen, pick up trash on floor and head toward trash can. Then I throw away trash; pick up more stuff, next thing I know I am walking around the house with a cup, a toothbrush, one slipper, a couple of toys and a full trash bag. By the time everything is put away, every room in the house is half clean and it looks like I have done nothing all day. On good days, I remind myself to return to the first room I started in. Of course, I also sound like Rain Man “Go back to the kitchen, go back to the kitchen, gotta go back to the kitchen”. It is very exhausting. I think I may just hire someone to clean my house, and then my A.D.D. will be gone.

Disclosure Policy

2009-07-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

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BRIGHT FUTURE

2007-03-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

I am finally the adult I have fantasized I would always be. Well, just the adult part. I have not lead my life down the path I had planned for myself. Although, I am happy with the way things have turned out so far.
When I was fifteen years old I imagined myself as a college graduate, working for a big corporation on my way up the corporate ladder. I saw a corner office over looking the city, traveling around the world on the corporate jet. My goals seemed so obtainable and realistic at the time.
By the time I reached the age of seventeen, I was told by a school representative, I did not have what it takes to even get into college. Of course, without college I couldn't get the office, the traveling or the "life" I had dreamed about. I was devastated! Now what?! I felt I was too old to plan out another life for myself. I had spent so many years putting this plan together. In one short meeting my future was crushed, my ambitions for life were shattered.
Soon, I was eighteen years old and nowhere to go. I was still working at the grocery store and college was no longer an option. The way I saw it, this was my new pathetic life. I did not have "what it takes" to get the good life, so I was stuck in retail. At nineteen, I had to quit working for the grocery store and go to work at the ever promising "Do It Yourself" store. I thought maybe I could move my way up there.

If I would have had the common sense to tell this guy from the school, "You are wrong and I'll prove it!", I would have saved myself years of retail hell. Instead, I believed him and took it to heart and started to feel sorry for myself. I saw me the way he saw me. I made his opinion of me, my opinion. For years, I let this destroy who I was.

Not only did I feel I was not worth the best professionally, I also took this into my personal life. I dated and married men who were abusive, mentally and physically. I put myself through a lot of hard times because I listened to the wrong people. I once read in a book, that you will allow people to treat you as bad as you think you deserve it. That statement became very true for me.
For many years I became a lost individual. I didn't recognize who I was. From one relationship to the next, I kept telling myself this was all that life was going to offer me. Through all my heartache and suffering, the strong, confident little girl had turned into a weak bitter woman. I had no sense of being or self worth.
It is amazing how one simple sentence or phrase can be the beginning of some one's end. I was young and naive. I believed the adults around me knew what was right for me. I was taught that my superiors, my elders knew more and were going to guide me in the right direction.
Young, vibrant and full of dreams! Only to be destroyed by a simple phrase. It has been several years since I have talked to that counselor, but I found that strong, confident little girl and have turned her into a strong, confident woman! I now work for a new company that is promising to a great career. I may not travel world wide, or even nation wide, but what I do have is self esteem, confidence and pride. I also have my office. It does not look over a city, or the parking lot, but it's an office! The way I see it, you have to put your foot on the first step before you can reach the top of the ladder.