I have read lots of blog posts by wonderful people, asking basically the same thing.

What can we do to spread the word on Fat Acceptance and Health At Every Size? How can we reach people who might otherwise go through life hating their bodies all because they don’t look like barbie. (Just in case anyone didn’t know barbie is plastic! There is a reason why the majority of people don’t look like her!) What can we do as a community to reach out more to the masses of people?

Often times there isn’t really a clear answer to fix this problem, because well lets face it… its a HUGE problem! Its hard to spread the word and to reach people. However I want to offer a suggestion. I want to offer a solution of my own to this problem. I want to offer the ZaftigProject, a site whose purpose is to create a community dedicated to providing a safe, fun, and educational space for people. Our main goal is to provide an internet community in which no one is “singled out” for being too fat or too skinny or too tan or too pale or too tall or too short, where people of every shape, color, and  style are accepted with respect and equality.

The site was founded by a small group of friends who all met on various FA sites, who realized sadly that most of these sites quickly become nothing more than glorified dating sites. While these sites had acceptance at the core of their message, their actions no longer show to us that they were practicing what they preached. Therefore we decided to separate ourselves from all of them just saddened by how they could do so much-yet actually do so little. We decided to make a site that would not only shout the message of health at every size, but follow it up with our actions.

I know most of you have probably read This post at Big Fat Deal if you haven’t you should go read it! but I think that post was one of the catalysts for making our own Positive Body Image Site. Where young women and men can come to find advice and a sense of community. Where they will be able to know that they are not alone, that many people go through the same problems, issues, and ordeals that they do. We wanted to create a site where people could go to ask questions about life. We want more young women and men to have their lights turned on.

I really believe that we all need a place to connect with one another – and that there are many girls (and guys!) out there who need to reach out to someone sometimes. Having a community will help a lot of people stand up and gain real self esteem. There’s so much negativity out there, I want there to be a place where we can go to build each other up. The heart of this site is about learning to love your body just the way it is. Our goal is to help people come to a place of self love and acceptance. It is not about “ not being fat” or “ getting rid of your fat” It’s not about the struggle to lose weight so you can finally look good and do everything you’ve been afraid to do and live a magical life at the end of the rainbow….with unicorns. It’s about asserting yourself and listening to your heart instead of everyone else’s opinions. It’s about having the confidence to know someone is dead wrong when they say “you’re too fat for that”. It’s about having the understanding that being fat or dating someone fat is not a problem. More importantly the issues society has with fat are not your problem in the least. The problem belongs to them. It’s about walking tall with your head held high and commanding respect. It’s about changing the way the world looks at fat woman, fat men and their respective admirers. It’s is about liberation of the soul and letting your body be!

I want to invite all who are interested to check the site out, look around and see if its a community that you would like to be a part of. A community where anyone can come and seek advice and help without being judged. Its a place where you can go and talk about things that you might not otherwise be able to talk to with your friends and family. I mean I understand that its hard to ask your girlfriends where to find good dress pants because they are a size 6 when you are a size 24 and therefore don’t shop in the same stores.

Today I wanna talk about labeling foods as “good” or “bad” or “healthy” or even “unhealthy.”  I was inspired by a comment left the other day on my post I Used to Be Fat Mtv. Especially the part of the comment which read:

Listening to your body is not necessarily going to help you. If you do eat the bad foods, and there are bad foods, it doesnt matter if you listen to your body your getting full on junk, your body cannot run on junk

You know there were times when I use to eat things and I would feel slightly guilty about it before I had even eaten it. I would go and hide myself away to eat it so I wasn’t seen eating it. The fact that eating made me feel guilty shows me that I had an unhealthy relationship with food.

I suffer from Acid Reflux, so I am not supposed to eat certain things like things with caffeine in them like soda and chocolate and coffee. Tomatoes are out of the question (I don’t like them to begin with so this wasn’t an issue.) Lemonade isn’t a good idea either. Sometimes spicy foods can even cause me trouble, things like curry. These are usually the things that will set me off, however with most things it’s about moderation not complete removal. I can have a soda! But I can’t have a pack of soda!

A real diet is about learning what makes your body happy. Keep in mind the definition of the word diet that I am using is “The usual food and drink of a person or animal.” I won’t give up chocolate, fatty foods, or lemonade. However I will remember to moderate my food and listen to my body. By eating slower and taking the time to listen to my body, I get the chance to hear my body say “hey, back up I’m full,” or “ OK, this is making you feel sick, you might want to reconsider eating this.”

A real diet is about feeling good about food and not denying yourself something because of some arbitrary “good” or “bad” or “healthy” or “unhealthy” label. Some foods I won’t touch because I know the moment I do I will feel sick to my stomach. Case in point is mayo I will instantly puke it right back up my stomach doesn’t want it! Most people would tell me that tomatoes are HEALTHY for you! I mean its a fruit/veggie and it good for you! Eat more of these! However this isn’t true its false! What “healthy” and “good” and “bad” means for one person doesn’t apply to someone else! People tell me all the time to eat tomatoes cause they are good for me but you know what they AREN’T! In fact they can cause me some real trouble if I eat them!

Learning to understand food is important to me and I think it is something everyone has to deal with at some stage. Learning how my body works and what foods make it feel good and bad (rather than being labeled “good” and “bad” and “unhealthy”) is something I think has to be a priority.

Another thing that I wanna discuss is the idea that “Junk food” is “bad” and “ unhealthy” for you.

Everyone knows what “junk food” and what is “healthy” food, right? I mean obviously that carrot isn’t junk food but hey! those french fries are clearly junk food! Right? ummm no!

Dr. Johan H. Koeslag, head of the Department of Medical Physiology at the University of Stellenbosch, Tygerberg,  South Africa, wrote an article which appeared in a 1990 issue of the South African Medical Journal. The article, Junk Food and Empty Words talked about the disconnect between science and the beliefs about junk food vs healthy food.

French-fries are junk-food, but roast potatoes are not; bread is a basic food-stuff, but biscuits [cookies] are junk; wine comprises “empty calories,” but fruit juices are health foods; the sugar in cake is detrimental to health, but the sugar in honey and grapes is not. White bread is not “nutritious,” but cauliflower is, though it consists of 90% water, 5% starch, and only traces of vitamins and minerals (other than potassium). What then is “junk” food?…

Here junk is defined as any food that contains “refined sugar”, “additives”, “fat”, or “empty calories”. This, however, is clearly not the real working definition, as it does not help to resolve any of the contradictions mentioned above. The alternative definition often tendered is, therefore, that junk or “non-nutritious” food is any consumable which cannot, on its own, adequately support health. Thus, since people cannot live only on potato chips, or only on carbonated soft drinks, chips and carbonated soft drinks are classed as junk food. Why, then, is corn-on-the-cob not junk food, while a pizza (unless it is prepared by mother) is? Indeed if this latter definition is to be taken seriously, then everything we eat is junk: cabbages, carrots, tomatoes, apples, oranges, grapes, meat, milk, bread, tap water etc., etc., etc.

The real definition of junk food (or, of any of its synonyms) should recognize the fact that the adjective is applied exclusively to food items that children, and especially teenagers, find appetizing. Thus, codliver oil, despite its undeniable greasiness and artificially added vitamins and preservatives, is not junk food, because children loath it. Cake, which children love, is, on the other hand, a non-basic (or junk) food, despite containing flour, eggs, milk products, fruit, and sugar (which, with the inexplicable exception of the sugar, are all individually classed as “basic” food items).

Another factor which distinguishes “junk” from “basic” (or “nutritious” food), is the amount of effort the lady of the house expends on preparing that food. All “fast-foods”, “take-aways” (USA: “Take-outs”) and commercially “pre-cooked TV dinners” are, thus, without exception, junkous by nature. Potatoes, if they are peeled and roasted in the home, are “highly nutritious”, but if they are bought appetizingly ready to eat, then they are “empty calories” (what does this term mean?). Popcorn bought at the cinema is junk food, but mielie-pap (maize-meal porridge) laboriously cooked by mother is basic food.

Therefore I ask you to please stop labeling your food! Food is food! Period the end!

This is for you if you are contemplating your next weight loss attempt. Maybe you’re making a list of foods you plan to give up, the food journal you plan to keep, the calorie-counting you’ll do. You’re picturing the deprivation and the forced exercise, resenting it but feeling that there’s no other way to get the body you want, the bod you crave. You’re also thinking about all the wonderful rewards that come with a thinner you, such as attention, admiration, and respect. The possibility of thinness is stronger than any concern about how hard and uncomfortable it will be to get there. You’re motivated and ready!

Before you jump on the diet bandwagon yet again, however, I’d like to encourage you to think father into the future- after you lose weight. Think two years from now, when it’s quite likely that you’ll have returned to your starting weight, maybe even higher. I understand that you don’t want to consider this. You’re probably tempted to stop reading now and are angry at the spoilsport “friend” who slipped you this paper.

Indulge me for just a few more paragraphs. I don’t intend to take away your hope, but, instead, to help you reframe your thoughts so you can actually achieve what you’re looking for.

It’s way too easy to believe that a thin body will right everything wrong in your world. That your life will automatically improve once you’re thin enough to take the steps you feel your weight prevents you from taking today. But it won’t. The reality is that this fantasy of weight loss is what’s stopping you from achieving your dreams- not your weight itself. The pursuit of weight loss rarely produces the thin, happy life many people dream of.

It’s also way too easy to believe that you can control your weight through disciplined diet and exercise. The science just doesn’t support that myth. The reality is that biologic safeguards underlie your body’s resistance to maintaining weight loss. Research demonstrates that most people, regardless of willpower or diet or exercise, regain the weight they lose. In fact, research shows that dieting is a strong predictor of weight gain! It’s not your fault that you are among the majority who hasn’t been able to keep off the weight thus far.

I’m not asking you to give up on your dreams. What I am suggesting is that you move on. When you stop trying to control your weight, you allow your body to do the job for you- naturally and much more effectively. If you stop fighting yourself, achieving and maintaining a weight that is healthy for your body becomes effortless.

Just think how much fun it would be if you didn’t have to worry about your weight!

Curious about the science that supports this? Want strategies and support for getting in tune with your body? Check out Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight (www.HAESbook.com)

Health At Every Size has been evaluated in several research studies, the results published in top scientific journals. Adopting a Health At Every Size lifestyle can give you what you want much more effectively than a diet ever will. You have nothing to lose by trying.

Any Be nice to the friend who gave you this! He or she is trying to support you in achieving your goals.

Excerpt from Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight

Copyright 2010 by Linda Bacon

May be freely distributed, provided that it remains in its entirety and this copyright message appears. More info at http://www.HAESbook.com

Now I only watched one episode and it was about Marci.

Marci Hates her Stomach and wants nothing more than to get rid of it.

Here is the episode summary from the Mtv website.

As she attempts to move into college after years of home schooling, 250 lb Marci discovers that the comfort of her sheltered life is no longer satisfying enough. Marci wants to create a new life where she has friends and wears cute clothes – but first she has to battle her biggest enemy – herself. Will her boot-camp style trainer, Justin, be too extreme to battle years of junk food and insecurity? Or will Marci be able to conquer her weight and finally become the woman she wants to be?

A home-schooled teen attempts to break free from her obesity to find the two things she’s never had.friends and confidence.

Okay there are many problems with this episode.

One of the first things Marci says is that  ”I wanna lose weight so badly cause it would change my whole life.” Hmmm I am not sure how losing weight is going to change your whole life. I mean does losing those pounds change your friends, your eating habits,does it magically change where you live,  your attitude, your goal to be more confident, oh wait does it change your job for you too!  Ummm no it doesn’t all it does is show you how the number on a scale has gone down! Why do people forget time and time again that they can change their lives without having to lose weight!

Now Marci has some goals…okay more like two. They are A) I want to go out Friday and Saturday nights instead of staying in lonely B) I want to be able to shop for cute clothes for stores in the real world. I want to lose weight to fit into those clothes. How does she plan on doing this? By losing 90lbs in 89days. Now I am no doctor but that doesn’t sound healthy to me.

Marci's newfound confidence enables her to dance with guys.

Okay First I still don’t understand how being fat is keeping her from obtaining goal A. Oh wait it is not! Go figure that! I mean seriously if you wanna have a social life on the weekend go get yourself a social life. You don’t have to lose 90lbs to obtain this social life that you think you should have!  I mean seriously if you wanted to go dance with guys at 250lbs hell go do that at 250lbs! Seriously there is nothing stopping you from going to dance with guys even if you are fat!

Marci has some bad habits. One of them happens to be the fact that she eats only fast food. Keep in mind however that Marci doesn’t know how to cook. However even if her mother cooks food for her she still doesn’t eat it. She eats when she isn’t really hungry because she loves food and knows that it is going to taste good. You could say that she is an emotional eater. Now this isn’t very healthy for her at all. The thing that gets me is instead of trying to improve these habits, the trainer goes on and on about how she needs to cut out all the “bad” food in her life if she is going to lose that weight! Why don’t people teach Marci instead about how you should listen to your body and only eat when you feel hungry. How to not eat only fast food and why do these types of shows always have to be about exercising till you feel like you are going to pass out or puke. Oh and eating like a bird and starving yourself!  You don’t have to cut out the “bad” food because well no food is bad, its just plain old food! Doesn’t it make more sense to listen to your body I mean I think it would know best how to take care of itself!

I don’t understand why its all about losing weight and not about changing her habits into healthier ones.

The point of the show where I had reached my limit was when her friend Heather went out to lunch with her. Heather of course isn’t on a diet so she orders regular food and basically teases Marci with it. Yeah thats great go ahead and tease the fattie like a dog. Seriously at one point Marci even says that she would love to eat nachos but doesn’t and sticks with her grilled chicken because of her diet and goal to lose 90lbs.

Heather tempts Marci with nachos and cheese.

Here is the before and after picture.

In the end Marci lost the 90lbs in 89days and gained confidence. So the website says, however what confidence did she really gain here? She gained her confidence based off of a number on a scale and her friends telling her weight loss looks great. Yeah thats some real self esteem right there! What happens when she gains all that weight back because DIETS DON’T WORK!?  Its a fact that unless you can keep your weight off for more than 5 years your diet isn’t a success and 2/3rds of dieters put back the weight they lost and MORE within 4-5 years. And no its not because the dieters weren’t trying hard enough, or didn’t want it bad enough, or cheated or whatever other excuse you can think of.  Therefore the number on the scale is going to go up and her friends aren’t going to tell her, her weight gain looks great and well there goes her new found confidence right out the damn window!

I wonder what would have happened if instead of focusing so much on a number on a scale what if Marci and her trainer and mom had focused on changing her habits into healthier ones. Instead of worrying about the 90lbs and getting down to 160lbs what about if her mom taught her how to cook! Therefore she wouldn’t rely on eating fast food all the time! What if her trainer had encouraged her and showed her how to enjoy exercise instead of making her feel like she wants to pass out and puke because he was pushing her so hard! What would have happened if someone had told Marci that she is beautiful and smart and talented and wonderful just the way she is and she doesn’t need to lose 90lbs to gain confidence to live the life she wants to live! That would have been a show I would be willing to watch again! I am sorry but “I used to be fat” is not a show I will be watching again!

I am currently working on a project with a friend and its taking up a good chunk of my time. Not that I mind in the least bit! I have some things that I need to blog about in the near future so hopefully this week I will find some time to get back to blogging.

However I hope everyone had wonderful holidays that weren’t too stressful and were enjoyable. I have greatly enjoyed spending some time with the people I love!

Over my sickness I was listening to a lot of music. I came across a song that I have heard many times because I love Immortal Technique a ton. However it was only after the millionth time listening to the song that I realize how awesome the last few lyrics really were.

The lyrics in question are below:

I used to wonder(I used to wonder) why people don’t believe in themselves
But Then I saw the way they portrayed us to everyone else
They cursed us, to only see the worst in ourselves
blind to the fact the whole time we were hurting ourselves

These lyrics ring so true in my heart. I could put so many different spins on them but at the time I was thinking about fat related stuff of cousre!  I was thinking about fat acceptance at the time and the diet industry. How people blindly put their faith into the diet industry even though it is just an industry like any other trying to make profit off of people. I was wondering why more people didn’t believe in themselves! Why were people so afraid of being fat, why do people act like its a faith worse than death? Then I realized just like Immortal did that its the way that fat people are portrayed. Fat people are portrayed as ugly, dirty, disgusting, unhealthy, wrong, and so many more things. Its NO WONDER! people are so afraid of being fat cause it would then mean that they are all these things that society has taught them is associated with being fat! All of this hatred towards our bodies in the end only winds up hurting ourselves. Hatred is never a good thing. It just isn’t healthy to hate something or someone for very long, it totally brings your mood down! Simply put it doesn’t have to be this way and it shouldn’t be this way! Here to hoping that people start believing in themselves more often!

Below is the video of the song “caught in the hustle” by Immortal Technique be warned WARNED! its rap and if you don’t like rap then I suggest you don’t listen to it!

Thinness is a cloak.  A cloak of invisibility of our feelings, our emotions, the very thing that makes each of us different.

More accurately, the desire, the seeking to be skinny is a cloak.  A mask that we put on to keep others far away. Far from finding out what makes us vulnerable. Far away from finding out our imperfections and flaws.  It keeps us from figuring out what makes us… well us!

It helps us lose track of our vulnerabilities, too. This way, we don’t have to pay them much if any mind. The cloak of thinness creates tunnel vision for us. It allows us to forget everything else except the goal of being thin. It saves us from digging deeper.

The cloak of thinness shields us. It protects ourselves from getting hurt. We don’t have to show our true colors to everyone, we don’t have to get in touch with our feelings. Instead we can hide under the painful comforts of counting calories, restricting our food intake, vigorously exercising, yearning to lose weight, and constantly being upset with numbers.

We create a one dimensional view of what it means to be a good and deserving person. We are only good and deserving if you eat and exercise “right.” You have to feel guilty for enjoying food because a good person only views food as fuel. You are only allowed to like yourself if you are of  an acceptable weight, otherwise you must constantly hate yourself for not being acceptable. You must strive to achieve the perfect figure always.

We hide behind our thin dreams, thinking that once we attain a certain weight, we’ll be impervious to all the bad stuff. Once we reach a certain weight we will be happy with our lives. Once we reach a certain weight we can do all the things we want to do. We numb our feelings and ourselves by trying to attain thinness. Through controlling our food intake, through planning our life around our thoughts of food, meals, and exercise.

But numbing the bad stuff means numbing the good stuff, too.  You can not selectivity numb emotion. Being vulnerable means allowing yourself to acknowledge your feelings. It means letting others we trust in on our feelings, as scary as that may seem at first. We no longer can hide behind diet talk, and weight loss talk. It means we have to talk about more than just physical aspects of our life.

It means being authentic, being yourself and not clinging to the idea that if we just count calories, shed the weight or whittle down our problem areas that somehow we’ll become acceptable, lovable, and better. We will finally be able to  have it all. It means not pretending that happiness is a few pounds away. It means relinquishing the idea that our bodies need to be manipulated. It means knowing that we are, indeed, enough.

Both of these Body Positive Badges were found over at The Humorless Feminist. How adorable and awesome are these!

I adore Adam Hills. He’s cute, funny, and most importantly he is nice!  A couple of months ago I saw a video of Adam on his Inflatable tour. He was hilarious as usual. I simply adored his performance! The message he was trying to make throughout his performance was to be an “inflator.” Someone who makes you feel great who inflates your self-esteem and lifts you up instead of dragging you down. Someone who doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself but rather someone who inspires you and makes you feel great about yourself! What a great message to want to share to other people!