I’m talking about loss and how no one wants to talk about it.

All businesses face loss at one time or another. It could be loss of coworkers due to corporate downsizing or restructuring, or loss of a client or bid, even a death of a co-worker. In the years I’ve been working with teams, it’s always surprised me how even the most experienced leaders back away from dealing with a loss. The typical response seems to be, “It’s a private matter. Best to let it run its course.”

In other words, let’s ignore the loss and hope it goes away before anyone notices. But everyone notices—especially when it’s something as major as a restructuring or downsizing.

Not only does a loss distract people from staying focused and on track, it also makes them anxious. Anxious people are very unproductive. They can’t help but worry about what’s under that rug, why no one’s talking about it, if it’s worse than they imagine, and if they’re next.

Fortunately, applying your emotional intelligence can help turn a loss-related crisis into an opportunity to assert leadership and relationship values.  It gets down to having the courage to have the tough conversations.

I worked with a team leader recently to support him in doing just that after his company went through a significant restructuring. The news shocked everyone. Worse, it was followed by yet another shock—an increased workload due to the loss of staff.

I recommended the team leader facilitate a “hot-topic check-in.” The hot topic was the actual loss through restructuring; the check-in provided an opportunity for following to happen:

1. In a team meeting, the leader acknowledged what had happened and why.
2. He then asked each group member to offer personal feedback (thoughts, concerns, plan for today). No dialog was expected; it was simply an opportunity to make a statement,  listen,  and empathize.

The check-in took 10 to 15 minutes, after which you could feel the tension meter drop to zero. Someone even cracked a joke that got everyone twittering. It was as though the team found its groove again just by opening up.

Amazing how powerful and cost-effective a little communication can be. Here’s the best part—it’s never too late. Can you think of a loss your company has experienced that you might want make a hot topic for a check-in? Give it a try and let me know what happens.

Related posts:

1. How the Check-in Increases Productivity even with “Left-brain” Teams

She’s certainly not alone in the high value she places on listening. Management gurus, such as Tom Peters, have been emphasizing the power of listening for years now, because as it turns out, most of us aren’t very good at it. Not even doctors find listening easy, says Peters, and that’s when it can be matter of life and death. Imagine what it’s like in the average business meeting?

Peters makes the point that an organization-wide commitment to what he calls “strategic listening” is even more important than a good strategic plan.

Fortunately, learning strategic listening isn’t difficult, though successful application takes some practice. It starts with commitment at the top. Leadership teams need to agree on its importance and then commit to teaching listening skills to other team members.

There are a number of listening models from which to chose, any of which are easy to teach and simple to apply in any day-to-day situation. To help you out, I’ve created this free ebook that outlines my proven model for strategic listening. You can download it here: Communication Loop_Ebook

Once you’ve taught team members the elements of listening, you can help enforce the skill by using conversations with peers and direct reports as “learning opportunities” to illustrate the listening technique.

Team leaders who have implemented my strategic listening model tell me it’s one of the most efficient, cost-effective ways they’ve found for improving decision-making, conflict resolution, and even interpersonal relationships. Why not see what it can do for your team? Let me know how it goes—I’m always listening!

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1. The Secret to Turning Meetings into “Results Generators,” Not “Time Wasters”

I get tired of competing with all the stuff in people’s heads when I’m trying to run a meeting, so I decided to try the check-in. I did my check-in first but when I finished, everyone was staring at me blankly. Finally one person piped up with, “I thought we were discussing the new product specs, not doing a therapy session!” That got some laughs. I haven’t given up with the check-in but would appreciate any thoughts you may have for introducing it in such a way that people don’t get defensive or trivialize what’s going on. By the way, I work with very technical people (engineers).

Sincerely yours,

Checked Out

“Checked Out” makes a great point. Most people are more comfortable dealing with facts, data, intellectual constructs, and linear thinking. They’re not used to opening up in meetings. However, when it comes to improving team results, a little applied emotional intelligence can go a long way. Here are some ideas for making the check-in work for you while asserting your leadership style at the same time:

1. Provide a context: Start with the importance of team collaboration, communication, and problem solving to increasing results and fostering decision-making.
2. Describe the problem: Few people would deny that distraction is a productivity killer. By describing the check-in as an opportunity “to dump distractions at the door” so you can free your mind to focus, you reframe its value in terms of business goals. You also clarify your expectations for the meeting: total engagement.
3. Clarify what is being shared at the check-in: The check-in isn’t for personal sharing per se. It’s for sharing your personal reactions to business concerns that weigh heavily on your mind. This might be a concern related to a high workload, an urgent project, or a stuck-point with a customer or direct report.
4. Describe typical results: The check-in not only helps build empathy, but it also helps people see that others are facing as many challenges as they are. Insight into to “what’s going on for the other person” helps build trust and openness, which, in turn, lead to more productive brainstorming and problem solving.

“Checked Out,” thanks for not giving up on the check-in. In my experience, the more “left brain” the team, the more explanation the check-in requires. And permission, too, because most people need to be reminded they do not have to be thinking all the time. Indeed, over-thinking can get in the way. Once they get the power of the check-in, they’ll be doing it without thinking twice.  Let me know how it goes.

Related posts:

1. The Secret to Aligning Teams for Fast Results
2. Emotional Intelligence and Our “Private Self”
3. How to Prevent a Loss from Destroying Team Productivity

But before we get there, let’s look at a typical team meeting. As the team leader, you jump into the agenda to get things rolling. People appear to be listening but in fact, they’re not really engaged. They’re checking their watches, scribbling notes, or lost in what I call the “swirl” of data in their heads. In short, they’re checked out. They sure aren’t thinking about how to get better results.

Sound familiar?

If it does, try this tip from applied emotional intelligence. Take a moment to ask your team this question: How are you developing relationships? That single question can tell you whether or not you are on track to get the best out of your team.

When I ask that question with teams I’m leading, here’s what I often get: “We’re on email with each other and that creates a lot of relationships.’” Emails create relationships? Hah! I don’t know about you but emails connect people. They’re about exchanging facts and figures not forming relationships.

Another answer I get is, “We have regular meetings”. Regular meetings are good but are you developing relationships there? I don’t think so.

The third answer I usually hear is, “We have regular social events”. Well, social events are also great, but when your company is throwing them and you have to go—well, it’s not the same thing as going to a party with friends. You’ll probably be in for a night of shoptalk. Not exactly the stuff from which relationships arise.

So what kinds of answers say, yes, my team is building effective relationships? First, you’ll hear, “We communicate clearly and that develops relationships.” Another one is, “We give each other regular feedback and hold one another accountable.” Accountability is a sure sign that relationships are in place, because it’s based on trust, engagement, and alignment.

If you’re hearing those comments from people sitting around the table, pat yourself on the back—you’re doing a great job of fostering relationships and highly effective teams.

See how it easy it is to apply the power of emotional intelligence? Try it and let me know what your team members say about how they’re developing relationships. At the very least, it will help them focus on the one thing that can get them out of their heads and onto the same page, where they can work together to get the best results possible.

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1. The Secret to Aligning Teams for Fast Results
2. How the Check-in Increases Productivity even with “Left-brain” Teams
3. Transform Meetings with the Magic of Listening

Let me tell you a story about how the check-in works. I was working with a team last month, and they had this wonderful VP of Marketing. She walked into a meeting and the first thing she did was not dive into the agenda. Instead, she took a couple of minutes to share where she was at—and in detail. She talked about the four projects she was managing and how two had just derailed. In short, she did a check-in, and invited everyone else at the meeting to do one too. In less than 10 minutes, she had re-focused and aligned everyone around results.

Now if you think about it that rarely happens. Usually, meetings go something like this.

You call a meeting. As the team leader, you’re focused on the agenda—there’s a lot to get through. But in truth, your mind is all over the place. You’re thinking about the numbers, some client problem, a personnel issues, a business opportunity. You’re barely at the meeting—your mind is back at your computer or on the phone.

What if you took a moment to do a check-in, just like the VP of Marketing did in our example?

What if, starting with you, the team leader, you went around the table and gave everyone a chance to dump all the data and details in their heads? Each person would get a couple of minutes to talk about what’s going on for them right now. Everyone else would just listen.

That’s the check in. It’s simple and fast and it works. Give people a chance to get the swirl out of their heads and amazing things start to happen. People shift from being preoccupied by their internal agendas to connecting with each another. They develop empathy as they hear what other people are going through. They get aligned and get results.

The check-in is a great example of applied Emotional Intelligence. What it’s really doing is raising everyone’s self-awareness, and in doing that, creating connection and alignment.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes. The next time you call a meeting, start with the check-in. Before you jump into the agenda, give yourself and your team a chance to dump out all the distracting stuff first. You’ll be amazed at how easy and quickly you get full engagement, and how that kind of focus can make productivity soar.

Interested in more on developing emotional intelligence within your team?

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1. How the Check-in Increases Productivity even with “Left-brain” Teams
2. The Secret to Turning Meetings into “Results Generators,” Not “Time Wasters”
3. Challenge your Teams to Exercise Clout

I’m thinking the folks over at Scotiabank have emotional intelligence in spades. They’ve launched a new initiative called “one team, one goal.” Here’s the amazing part: they have 69,000 team members, spread across 50 countries.

How are they going to find the glue that unifies all these different employees to get results? By putting emotional intelligence to work. Here’s what that means. An important principle in emotional intelligence is starting with what matters.

Scotiabank focused on finding a solution to connect people so that they would generate results they needed. They sat down as a leadership team and thought, Hey! We’ve got a lot of members, in a lot of different places, a lot of data, and we need to get one core result. What’s the glue? What’s going to hold the team together? What’s going to align all of the data and the people?

Applying the power of Emotional Intelligence, they got to the idea of developing a mentoring program in which top-tier level executives would nurture and teach second-tier executives. That became their glue and goal:  Develop new leaders.

Then it gets really exciting.

They started to think about this glue as a conversation about Scotiabank’s values, Scotiabank’s skills, and Scotiabank’s culture. They started teaching all that to this group of people, and it led to some robust conversations about problem solving.

Next thing you know this magical thing starts happening: the human element kicks in. People get electrified by ideas. They engage and connect. They solve problems and get results.

That’s emotional intelligence in action. You find the glue that will align people and data. For Scotiabank it was developing leadership through mentoring. For your team, it could be something different.

It’s interesting to note that Scotiabank is the only Canadian company to make the list of The Global Top Companies for Leaders. I’m guessing emotional intelligence has something to do with that. What do you think? How can you use emotional intelligence in your team and organization? What’s your glue?

Get “Talent needs to be nurtured” Financial Post Article

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1. Emotional Intelligence Series #7: Leadership Assertiveness and the Importance of the Vision!
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3. How to Develop Your Team’s Emotional Intelligence

THE BIG PICTURE – Reflecting on the Last Year

1. What successful strategic decisions did we make? And how did I measure success? eg. $ or non-financial reward?
2. What strategic decisions did we make that were not successful? And why?
3. What strategic move did we make that surprised me with its outcome? eg. professional ease, profit, customer experience?
4. What strategic decisions do we need to consider going into this upcoming year?
5. What strategic decision am I holding back from making? Why?

THE BIG PICTURE – Looking Inward. Looking Forward.

1. What do I want to continue doing in our business?
2. What do I want to stop doing in our business?
3. How am I holding the development/growth of our business back?
4. How am I promoting the development/growth of our business?
5. What is one personal bad habit that I have that I need to stop?
6. A year from now – what will our business look like?

Let me know how it goes! All the best in 2010 to you and your teams.
Renée

The old saying goes something like this:  There are two types of leaders — those who practice their learnings and those who don’t.

I watch leaders of corporate teams everyday. I have come to learn that some leaders have a hunger to learn and more importantly, they focus on practicing and applying their learnings in their day to day experiences. These are the leaders who continually get results. There are others, who learn a competence and then seem to discount it. My assumption is  – they consider it to be ‘basic’.  They operate on an assumption about themselves that they know the skill and they use it regularly and yet, for some strange reason these are the leaders that seem to falter when it comes to results.

Whistler/Blackcomb opened her doors early this season.  With a great dump of snow, we were invited to ski on Nov. 14th – one of the earliest season openers of all time. I jumped at the opportunity.

To give you some context on my skiing competence, I broke my leg while ambitiously learning the skill at the age of 2. I learned how to ski on Ontario snow-ice, raced on the Nancy Greene ski league for 6 years and was brought up in a family with two Canadian National ski team members, one a 1976 Olympian.  Skiing was and continues to be a life-skill in my family. Needless to say, I can cut a turn, love to ski loud and fast and have both a high level of commitment and competence.

With every season opening, I discipline myself to review the basics. As I ski down the hill for the first few runs, in my head I am reviewing my body position, reconnecting with my ski legs and considering the finer points of this skill. If I don’t take the time to ‘re-learn’, practice and apply what I know, there will be consequences! So on Saturday, I focused on holding my frame – choosing not to be lazy by letting my left shoulder drop half way thru my turn. With this discipline of combining a basic skill; lazy shoulder syndrome with advanced focus of application; practicing with every turn of the day, I will experience more joy, ease and effortlessness skiing this season.

Leaders who choose to do L.A.Ps ultimately get the team results that win the race.

L.earn a skill, whether basic or advanced,
A.pply the learnings during day to day experiences; practicing, making mistakes, practicing again,
P.rogress -  measure the progress of the efforts and then return to L to eagerly start again.

Ask yourself the question, will I get better results by doing a few LAPs today?

In the last few months I have talked with a lot of my female friends who are high level executives. I was surprised to learn that many of them are making a conscious choice to ‘cruise at work’ and admit they are quite happy to do so.

(If you do not see a video above, click here to view it: http://bit.ly/1x5aoj)

What is cruisin’?
For these executives, cruisin’ means they have been with the company for a period of time and their expertise has been well established. They command a senior executive salary, complete with a full benefits package. Now, they just want to cruise – put it in low gear, continuing to reap the rewards but with minimal effort. They are tired of being fully engaged without appreciation. They can’t be bothered to push the envelope.

Personally, I find this quite sad.  As an entrepreneur, my life is about ‘what’s the next thing’ and ‘how can I do it better?’ I thrive on being fully engaged.

As Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz say in “The Power of Full Engagement,”  ’making change that lasts requires a three step process’.

1. Define Purpose: explore how to find alignments between personal values and the values of the company,
2. Face the Truth: discuss the situation and explore how to re-engage,
3. Take Action: establish projects of greater interest.

Are you willing to share a ‘cruising’ story?

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1. Enjoy the Power of Full Engagement by Setting Priorities

Along with 15,743 registered attendees, I recently attended IIDEX/NeoCon Canada, Canada’s largest exposition and conference for the design, construction and management of the built environment. DesignerPages.com masterminded a very successful twitter campaign that generated over 2,400 tweets from attendees, exhibitors and students onsite and across the blogosphere with the tag #IIDEX09 . I actively tweeted about the show for two days.

I attended  a seminar by Anthony Watanabe – The Sustainability Studio. Anthony presented  how he had created an environmentally friendly office in an old building for his business. He created a panel of speakers for his 2 hour seminar. Each speaker presented their contribution to the project; ie: the designers and carpet manufacturer. It was a fantastic session; jam-packed with detailed information.

I sat in the session online with my laptop. As the presentation unfolded; I created a number of tweets about the session content. Imagine this; here I was in one small session room  with 35 people, but by tweeting I was syndicating the content to a larger audience. The audience was my twitter followers as well as, the #IIDEX09 followers. I listened to the panelists and tweeted fifty 140 character notes about what I found interesting.

Here are a few of the tweets:

Sustainability Studio F02 #IIDEX09 Innovation = Opportunity + Responsibility – a different twist on ROI. Is your business considering this??

Sustainability Studio F02 #IIDEX09 Companies need to find a fit for their strategic values: Innovation = Opportunity + Responsibility

Sustainability Studio F02 #IIDEX09 HOK reduce carbon footprint 50% by 2010, 50% studio are LEED APs, book Leigh Stringer ‘Green Workplace’

Sustainability Studio F02 #IIDEX09 HOK http://www.hok.com. Everytime you design you are branding something http://bit.ly/38SZ2S

Sustainability Studio F02 #IIDEX09 Interface Floor CEO Ray Anderson http://bit.ly/3NmNvoless “The Ecology of Commerce”

Sustainability Studio F02 #IIDEX09 – Eliminate waste, renew energy, employee engagement, redesign http://bit.ly/3NmNvoless

Here’s what I did:

1. I googled the presenters name to find their websites,
2. I copied the url into my bit.ly page to create a shortened url,
3. I then put the bit.ly it into my tweets (along with the #IIDEX09 tag)
4. I went back to bit.ly, refreshed my page to measure the number of hits that my tweets created on the presenters individual websites.

See an example of the bit.ly stats for my tweets – note the number of clicks I created from each tweet.

How to Measure Twitter Results Instantly.

Within 2 hours, with the use of twitter – I personally created a number of hits on 5 different websites, I syndicated the content of the seminar to a wider audience and with bit.ly I was able to measure my results instantaneously! That’s only one small example of the power of twitter.

If you have a business – get yourself past those bran muffin judgements to embrace the possibilities of this incredible tool. Get your message and help others leverage their message with twitter and twitter tools.

If you want to learn more about the Sustainability Studio – sign up for Anthony’s webinar on November 18th 1:00 pm – 2:00 pm EST.

If you are a twitter enthusiast – please retweet this blog using #IIDEX09 and http://bit.ly/2UbkFi.

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