Sewing is much more gratifying than knitting – at least that’s the case for someone like me who is struggling with knitting projects more than her sewing and spinning WIPs. I lack stamina when it comes to these things plus it’s always so hot that there never seems to be a good enough reason to knit.

I had initially planned to work on these soft plushies over the weekend but a bout of food poisoning left me too tired out; in fact, I’m still battling the aftermath but it’s getting better despite going on medical leave today.

One thing I discovered about sewing up toys is that it uses up a good amount of leftover fabric that I have in my stash, which is good news for Nil as he often remarks on how my stash of fabric never seems to go down. Oddly enough, he never says anything about how it never goes UP. Gah.

Anyway, after a nice afternoon nap to recover, some Prevera reviews and a trip to the babysitter’s to pick Eva up at the usual time, I spent the night relaxing in front of the sewing machine and churned out two rather cute little piggies in under two hours. Only thing left to go around the eyes, nose and mouth – no buttons here as they are meant for kiddies – plus to cut out more fabric combinations to make more piggies.

Heck, I won’t be surprised if we get a piggie invasion over the next few days! LOL!

In an effort to cut back on my fabric stash, I have inadvertently added to it. I’m planning on sewing up some plushies and had to hunt down some chenille, fleece as well as some fat quarters in green. So before my food poisoning episode came, I made some time from all the usual stuff I do online (hcg diet reviews, etc) and offline to hop on over to Spotlight with Eva in tow.

Not a great idea because an hour after lunch, my stomach aches got worse and Eva got fussier. By the time I was done with the shopping, I was pretty much dying and even Nil remarked that I looked awfully pale. Instead of going with him to meet his friend, I took my shopping and myself home (he got to spend some time with Eva instead). Heck, even the cab driver noted that I was tired because I fell asleep in the cab!!!

Anyway, that aside, I managed to score some ivory and brown chenille – no black unfortunately – together with some skin colour felt and other fabrics that I think will look great as part of a toy. They didn’t have fleece in the colours that I wanted and no plain flannel so I ended up with wool felt instead. I figure it should be just fine.

I think I shall start prepping for my sewing projects once my tummy gets better. Hopefully it’ll be by tomorrow. *sigh*

I mean I’m happy with my body and my face (of course it could be better but I don’t wish for big changes). I can fix some things like my jelly belly or go for blackhead treatments to remove those nasties but this is something that I’m quite fed up of.

I have been going through bouts of food poisoning since my return from Australia in 2002. I don’t know if it was the food or the weather or what, but since my return, I catch food poisoning more often than the flu/cold! The first was two weeks after my return – I went head-on with some Northern Indian food. Left me incapacitated for at least a week. Since then, I go through food poisoning bouts in various degrees of intensity at least once a month!!!!

Things got better when I moved to Switzerland and I noticed chicken porridge always help but the pattern was the same – so long as the food item tastes remotely off or is undercooked (especially fish or seafood), I can be prepared for a longggggg night and a very tiring day of recovery. Along the way I discovered that drowning myself in charcoal pills, Smecta as well as probiotic pills help but it didn’t mean I wasn’t suffering.

Haiz. Now I’m back in Singapore and this is like my fourth or fifth episode – I’ve lost count. So I’m wondering. Is it just me or food preparation here sucks big time (it always happens after I eat out)?

*sigh*

I couldn’t understand the rational behind not using a car seat. People were willing to pay hundreds for things like acne treatment and spas but would forgo the money for a car seat. So after reading a letter published by a safety association in Malaysia (calling for tighter laws and for parents to use the car seat), I decided to share my viewpoints. Note that it’s the same here in Singapore, although of lesser degree. As usual, my letter got chopped off so here’s the full piece:

Dear Editor,

I was very happy to see the letter “Vital to belt up the little ones” and would like to add on further to what has been said.

Nearly a year ago, I moved from Switzerland to Singapore, and consequently closer to Malaysia where my parents are. With me in tow was my French husband and my one month old daughter. We didn’t own a car then and we still don’t own a car. But we never fail to put her in a car seat whenever we can, be it in a taxi or a bus. We have been asked many times before to take her out of the car seat and stroller when we board the bus but we always refuse. Reason being that if anything were to happen, my daughter is safer in her car seat than out of it.

My husband comes from a country where car seats are mandatory by law and for a good reason. So we had a mini culture shock when we arrived in Singapore/Malaysia to sights of children unbelted in the back seat to babies being held by passengers in the front seat.

Here, many new parents and even new grandparents always forgo the car seat because they feel that their baby will be uncomfortable or that it’s too expensive. The most common excuse that we’ve heard is “It’s just a short ride”. It is frustrating to see this sort of behaviour in parents who will go on to mould our future generation. What these parents are doing is nothing short of a gamble and a very pricey gamble where the stakes is the life of your own child.

New parents often leave the car seat behind and opt to carry newborns when they leave the hospital for that first trip home. Their reason is because their babies will be uncomfortable or that they don’t get enough neck support. A car seat has been designed to keep your newborn safe and comfortable – not either one. If you were slam on the brakes for whatever reason, your baby would have more neck support in the seat than if they were in your arms.

The older generation will often forgo the use of car seats because they are too expensive, “it’s just a short ride” or “you’ve never had to use them and you’re fine” but fail to realize that when we were growing up, there were less cars and consequently, less bad drivers on the road. The amount you spend may be a lot but car seats are meant to last for a number of years so it’s actually worth the investment. Plus it’s cheaper than paying for the hospital bills should anything happen. There is never such a thing as “just a short ride” – you can end up making a detour here and there. Also, anything can happen within that second; I have seen accidents happened within a short stretch of 100m so what more 3 km?

Other parents chide the excuse that their children bawl and wail once they are in the car seat so they let them into cars without one. They fail to understand that you need to start training your children from young to sit in a car seat and that means starting from birth. If you’re just starting now, it’s great but it’ll take some time and that’s where you come in as a disciplinarian. Most parenting books regarding discipline tells you that while you may opt to relax some rules, there are some which just cannot be bend and these are often those regarding safety like holding your child’s hand while crossing the road and using a car seat. What message are you sending to your child about their safety?

New parents need to understand that putting your child in a car seat is not just about safety. It is about teaching your child some responsibility and discipline. My husband’s nephew and niece were in car seats up till the recommended age – around six – and even though they are hyperactive children who cannot sit still, they know that once they are in a car seat, it’s time to belt up and sit down. In fact, his niece at nearly four years old, would refuse to go anywhere in a car without her car seat; she would take the car seat from the garage and place it in the car before climbing in. Can we say the same proudly for any of our children?

Any child’s life is never worth the gamble and the risk, so why are we playing this deadly game?

Sincerely,
Mabel TEOH
Singapore

** Cross-posted on the baby blog **

Well, it takes A LOT of effort to maintain a relationship – both unseen and seen – as well as self-reflection. Self-reflection is important because that’s how we learn more about ourselves and how to tell if we are heading to disaster in our life journey (or not). We are all human and therefore imperfect. We have our up and down days, we have changes coming into our lives and sometimes we change along with it. The key is in communication, teamwork and reflection.

I’ve not been married for very long but I have had the opportunity to think long and hard about my own marriage and how to make it last. Nil and I have gone through a lot and yes, even sometimes to the point where I feel like giving up – not too sure about him though. But we stuck through it all and learn a few of life’s lesson as well. It is lifelong learning process and slow sometimes. Even couples who have been married for long cannot safely say that their marriage is in good shape as anything can happen at any time. For my HB and me, we have changed upon our marriage and then again when Eva came along and we discovered a few things along the way:

Be intimate regularly
Intimacy is not about sex. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that sex is not important. It is but it’s not the only way you can be intimate with your partner. There is physical intimacy like cuddling, kissing, holding hands and there is emotional intimacy. Many cultures around the world speak of the power of a human touch. Notice how children and babies are soothed easily with a hug, a cradle, a smooch and some skin contact. Sometimes when we are down, depressed or just tired, a comforting embrace is all it takes to help pick a person up. Make the effort to reconnect and build some form of intimacy in your life. With a baby, it can be hard but the rewards are worth the effort, especially when you consider that your actions teach your child a thing or two about what to expect when they grow up, start dating and eventually get married. Eva may just be a toddler but her face lights up when she gets a group hug and smooch from my HB and me and especially when she sees us cuddling and smooching. It sets the tone for your child and how they view relationships in the future – that sex and intimacy is key to a healthy relationship. Besides, it’s hard to be and stay angry with someone you hold hands with, kiss or cuddle with.

Emotional intimacy is a lot harder and most of the time, this is the killer in relationships/affairs. Everyone wants to be emotionally connected to someone; a human being is not meant to be a loner – we are social creatures and being in relationships is important. An emotional relationship can stay healthy if we make the effort to communicate and stay in touch with our partners. I don’t mean just talking but sharing your feelings, your thoughts, and so forth. If we begin to share secrets with someone else other than our partners and we’ve never done that before, an alarm should sound in your head.

If you observed, all the fights and affairs is often sprinkled with things like cold wars, silent treatment, withholding sex/affection, etc. So doesn’t that say something about its importance in a marriage?

Laugh together as often as you can and make it a point to have fun, unbridled fun like a child.
Laughing keeps people happy and healthy, not just emotionally but physically. Noticed anything about your child? A happy child is a well-mannered, disciplined and kind child, and consequently, is a joy to be with. Children are easily satisfied with many things and well, their needs are simple/easy to provide. But as we grow older and become more burdened with commitments/responsibilities/issues/problems, we forget how to be happy. And I don’t mean the typical happy that lasts for an hour but I’m talking about true happiness – Christians call it joy. Joy lasts longer than happiness and being constantly joyful is not easy to achieve. Besides, no one wants to hang out with a grouch – it’s emotionally draining.

I always encourage Nil to take some time out and be a child again – do things that makes him happy, be it skiiing, climbing, cracking a lousy joke, playing in a children’s playground, anything! When we were dating, we would spend most of our dates at the children’s playground, on the swings, the seesaw, etc. Those were awesome times and we try to recreate that by spending some time over the weekend for walks, and well, just finding excitement in the little things like a new book that we’ve been waiting, an episode of CSI, etc and so forth – it may look petty but hey, it’s the little things that count sometimes.

Some people may view this negatively, stating that adults should behave like adults but I think they are wrong. There is a little kid in all of us and sometimes it’s good to be a child once again – to feel that unbridled joy in our lives. It is contagious and frankly, I love it. I love watching Nil act silly and have fun like a kid. It makes me happy and I think it makes him happy too.

Understand, accept and play your part – you are in a team
A marriage means you are now part of a team – at first a two-man team and then when you have children, you’ll have more members in that team. Your team DOES NOT include your in-laws or parents. Sorry but that’s now how marriage works.

My apologies to modernist and feminist but in a team, you cannot have two people playing the same role. It is a recipe for disaster. Someone has to play one role and another person the other. This is all the more important when you have a child because how you play your part (and what your role is) sets the stage for your child’s future social development as well as how they grow up emotionally. Mothers and wives need to understand that your role is to care for your spouse and child without compromising on either. You can seek the aid of your spouse but if they have to cook, clean and take care of the baby on top of everything else, why do they need to marry someone? They can always pay for sex or better yet, go for one night stands OR stay with their parents – their mother will do everything for them. No need to get married in the first place. That is just the tip of the iceberg.

Caring for your spouse means taking care of their emotional, social and mental needs. How you do that is by first investing in yourself – be a woman that they are proud to be with, proud to have chosen to marry, and someone they can grow with and help them grow. This brings me to one thing that has always irked me – “I don’t know how to cook/sew/etc”. Women today need to understand that “don’t know how to cook/sew/etc” is not a good enough excuse. It may sound old fashioned but sometimes what is old fashioned may be just the thing that holds a marriage together. There is a saying “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” – it is true. You don’t have to be a Michelin star chef to be a good cook; you just need your HB’s approval. Besides, homemade food is a lot cheaper and healthier than eating out.

As for the rest, learning to sew and etc, lets just put it this way. We all want our spouses to be productive people. We are proud of them when they can do things, like being a regular handyman, a seamstress, a crafty person and we are all the more proud when people know it and compliment us on our choice of a partner. This goes back to one thing – your spouse needs to be proud to have chosen you as a spouse.

This is not limited to cooking/sewing/hobbies but to lifelong learning. People need to understand that we all need to grow as individuals, and that education is constant. If you’re constantly improving yourself and your skills, don’t you think that it’s something worth being proud of? If you never bother to do anything, do you think your HB would share that with anyone openly? Some people think that what I’m saying is controversial, that it’s sexist but all I’m saying is that PEOPLE should grow, women should not forget their role – it doesn’t mean that I’m advocating that women stay in the kitchen and do nothing else. It just means that I’d like to see people continue growing and learning.

Fathers and husbands need to understand that your role is to be the provider and I don’t mean financially alone but in every sense of the word. A provider is not just someone who makes money and brings the bacon home but also making sure that your family unit is stable and growing. Christians believe and feel that a man’s job in a family unit is that he is the stronghold, the leader, the one guiding the family – that is the job of the provider. It doesn’t mean that women don’t have a say. It just means that if anything goes wrong, the MAN is the one who has to take charge, step in and do his job as a leader/provider and not just ditch everything to the woman. This also means protecting your family against external forces, including your parents. If your parents takes pot shots at your wife, your first impulse should not be to protect your parents but to protect your wife. This is the woman who shares your bed, your home and will give your children. Any smart individual can see that she is the investment you should protect. Of course, we do not mean that you completely ignore your parents – but you need to understand and accept that your responsibility is to step up to the plate and protect your partner. Your family comes first and your parents need to understand that. They need to learn to let go and let you grow and focus on your own family.

When you have children and they take pot shots at your wife, you need to stand firm by your partner. Never allow your child to turn you against your spouse. It undermines your spouse’s authority and sets the stage for future attacks. My father once told me – and I still remember it well – “I will never choose you over your mother. She is my wife and her needs come first even if she is wrong.” And I respect that decision because if I were in my mum’s shoes, I’d feel completely betrayed if Nil were to side anyone else but me. If you must scold your spouse, do it in private and not in front of your child.

Shitty teamwork is when you leave your partner open to attack – we see it all the time in double badminton, in war strategies, etc. Women are often the first target and that’s why men are always told to protect their women and children. So why are men today – husbands and fathers – not doing their job? Perhaps it is because they were not told by their fathers or mothers, perhaps it’s how society sees marriage/relationships today. Who knows? But I have always told Nil – before we got married – that we are a team. If I’m attacked by people and he does nothing, I might as well be single and handle it myself. What’s the point of being with someone if I have to stand up alone?

Remember, men, when you married, you took a vow to protect your wife. Carry that promise out.

…

So yes, this may make it sound old fashioned but really, if old fashioned works, why not?

I was never a baby-fan…or rather, I just wasn’t a baby magnet. When I see babies, I just freeze and sometimes I think they freeze up too. We would look at each other for a minute or two, try to figure each other out and along the way, either one of us would just give up. It’s like going to the cashiers with a boatload of goods and she stops using the barcode scanner, look you in the eye, you look back and well, nothing clicks. The same happens with children.

Overtime, I begin to tell myself that maybe I’m just not cut out to be a mother. I look at some of my friends and my cousins, and they handle children so well. Me? Well, I just freeze. So you have to understand that I really felt that motherhood wasn’t me at all. I don’t understand babies, I have my own little problems and well, I just didn’t see myself as a motherly person. Having said that, it didn’t mean that I didn’t want children – of course I want babies. I just wasn’t quite sure of what sort of parent I wanted to be or if I could handled it all.

Then I got married and when we started talking about raising a family, that got me thinking. I wasn’t quite warmed up to children yet so what more babies? We ventured onward into the unknown anyway. I figured along the way that no one person is born ready to tackle babies. Most of the time, it all boils down to experience and since I didn’t have nieces or nephews to practise on, I was left with just one option (which isn’t even an option) – to practise on my own child. Hah.

When I got pregnant, I realized that this was it. No more chances to experiment. So I did the next best thing – I bought books and read up. One of the most memorable things I remember seeing was this – “Women are pregnant for nine months for a reason and one of it is called preparation”. Preparation here doesn’t mean buying a manual and learning to drive with that manual beside you. What it does is that it give you a certain edge in the fact that you have an idea of what you’re doing and not just jumping into the water blindly. Especially important for a person like me who isn’t all that baby-friendly. Nil often teased me whenever we go for my antenatal check-ups because I never seem to have any questions (because I know what’s common and what’s not OR I’d do some read-up on this test and that test, etc).

For a few months, I ruminated over the kind of mother I wanted to be, the things I wanted to teach my child, the things I wanted them to not pick up at first impulse…many things. I started following blogs of parents I wanted to be like and formulate my own parenthood strategy according to what I read/saw or observed. I remember fondly talking about wanting to breastfeed for at least six months, if not a year. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mum for the first two years of my child’s life. I wanted them to learn cooking together with me. I wanted to be those mums who are involved in their children’s life without the appearance of a maid (common in these parts of the world). I wanted a lot, I remember. In that sense, I was quite greedy. *grin*

I forgot that sometimes wanting certain things isn’t always the same as getting them.

To be continued…

For most of you who aren’t aware, our little Eva is turning one this Wednesday and my parents decide to show up this weekend for the big occasion plus they wanted more pics to add to their slide show. Kekeke. So they are a few days earlier but no biggie. We didn’t really plan for a big celebration as we don’t really have a lot of kiddie friends (Eva, that is) and most of our family are abroad. This coupled with the fact that we’re not very big on parties was enough for me to just keep it low-key and limited to family – that is my parents and the three of us.

Initially I wanted to make a cutesy cake with cow toppers to celebrate the fact that she was born in the year of the cow/ox. But this week was crazy at work and consequently, I ended up feeling more tired and stressed out than ever. My nights, which were supposed to be dedicated to making Eva’s cake and working on the shop booties were just used for recovery and recuperation, not to mention the daily laundry and cooking. So I ended up with the idea of making a cheesecake – mango flavoured since she likes mangos (and cheese). Bought everything during lunch on Friday, carted it back and started work on it after she went to bed.

My problem started then. My whipped cream had gone bad so I couldn’t use it. I sent Nil out to look for a replacement only to find that none of the sundry shops nearby stocked it (they have cream cheese though – weird). I goggled some recipes and discovered a few that called for milk and thought that it would fine. So after mixing in some cream cheese and milk, I tossed in some gelatine for good measure. I had a nagging feeling that it was going to fail me since I was only familiar with gelatine sheets and not gelatine powder. But I carried on. As I placed the cheesecake in the fridge to chill, I was quite excited to see the outcome.

The next morning, I checked on it. It wasn’t firm enough. After running a knife though, it looked more like thick cream rather than cheesecake. I added more gelatine and chucked the whole thing in the freezer. After breakfast, I went back to check on it and it looked quite firm so hey, why not place it in the fridge? I did so and forgot all about it until earlier this evening. I was utterly disappointed to see that it was just as it was before I added in the extra bit of gelatine. So I had no choice but to give it some freezer treatment as we headed out for dinner.

When we got back, it was time for Eva’s “dessert” so I removed the cake from the freezer. Total disaster struck here. As I removed the pan from the cake, Nil started yelling “QUICK QUICK” and there it was, my cheesecake starting to flow like slow lava onto the kitchen countertop. And the star of the show was waiting in her high chair. Gah.

She ended up finishing a “slice” of super creamy cheesecake with fresh slices of mango. Just goes to show that as long as it tastes good, babies don’t mind a disastrous cake. Am not too sure if it’ll work with toddlers though.

Now a lot of people will scoff and say that there is no reason to sign up with a gym because you just need to jog around the park, there is something they need to understand – I just do not have the time to go around the park since I reach home at 7pm (earliest!) every night and Eva needs to be in bed by 830pm. Leaving her alone just to go up and down the 10 flights of stairs is not a solution – in fact, it’s downright dangerous!

I have no maid, no helper, no parents and no in-laws so I tackle everything together with Nil – cooking, laundry, cleaning. It is tiring, especially after a long day at work, and I especially hate it when people tell me that I should do more. Please, I am no superwoman.

Anyway, the gym is just around the corner from the office so it allows me to squeeze in some exercise during lunch. I could go before work starts but that means leaving the house at 630am – not an option considering that I sleep around midnight every day because of the stuff I have to do after reaching home. Lunch time it is then. While I was there, I am gently reminded of how I miss going to the gym and just doing my own thing, sweating it out. I could put work behind and just relax – no one to bother me (I did insist on not having a personal trainer even though they offered a free session – after the last time, I learnt my lesson well).

I’m hoping that with time and continued discipline on my part, I’ll be able to say goodbye to some blubber (I know I’m never going to be stick thin – I’ve always been curvy – but at least I’ll be healthier) without the aid of supplements, even if it’s the best fat burning supplement around!

Since turning 10 months or so, she has started becoming more vocal about what she wants, likes or doesn’t like and so forth. At restaurants, she’d grab hold of the menu and start flipping the pages, but sometimes I suspect it’s more because they resemble books and she just LOVES books. That aside, it is slowly dawning on us that our baby is becoming a little adult already.

Gone are the days when she would placidly smile back, and well, it was easy getting her to do things, even regular stuff like just going for evening walks. If she has had enough or is bored, she makes it clear; in fact, she makes it very clear! So recently, I started digging out a book I have on discipline (I put it aside due to my crazy schedule at home with best acne cleanser reviews and crocheting booties) just to see what I can do to make things comfortable for everyone and by comfort, I also mean that she doesn’t go out of bounds by screaming, throwing tantrums and shouting – something which I find common and would like to avoid.

So far, we are still alright on the quiet, calm and polite grounds but I do foresee a quiet storm brewing in the near future. Looks like we have a little opinionated miss on our hands and in a way, I think that is just fine.

The Reversible Pinafore
Fabric | 100% cotton (Spotlight and Etsy)
Pattern | The Reversible Pinafore from MakeMePrettyDesigns

For a while, I’m been tempted to make something other than blankets, bibs and small items but I always held myself back because I wasn’t too sure how the quality would turn out. But after a while, I decided to try anyway; after all, you’ll never know until you try. So think of this more as a prototype (did you know that even wrinkle creams have them, eg prototype 37c?).

After hunting around the Internet for a few patterns, I settled for one by the above Etsy seller since they looked pretty lovely and simple. She had a bundle set option so I got that and after shopping around for some fabric combinations, I started work on it. It was a pretty fast pattern to work on – I was done in under three hours from cut to finish.

I opted for a snap finish instead of buttons because I haven’t quite mastered sewing buttonholes using my sewing machine; the last time I tried it, it was a disaster so I wasn’t really up to the task again. I used the KAM snaps I bought last year for the shop and it turned out awesome! I let Eva try it on the next day and while it was a little roomy, as expected since it’s size 12 months, it looks nice on her, especially when she has pants on. (I should take an “action” shot soon!)

Now that this is done, I’m quite tempted to sew up more designs in the other fabrics that I’ve purchased. In a way, I’m glad that I did this – my mum made a few dresses for me when I was growing up and it’s something that I would like to do for my own daughter now that I think about it. So yes, do look forward to more outfit-related goodies!