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Back to School

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 22:58:45 -0700

We’re now officially in the fourth week of the semester, and I guess it is about time I finally start reflecting on going back to work before I’m no longer a newbie. So here goes. Here are some things I love, some things I dislike, and some things I’m not yet too sure about in regard to my new job as an adjunct assistant professor...

Things I love about it:
1. Being busy. Although I very much enjoyed all of the extra time I had this past year, I’m very happy to have a busy schedule again. Not only does it feel nice to have things on my calendar, but it’s also motivating to put more things on my calendar. Also, not having too much time to get lost in one’s thoughts can be a good thing.
2. Feeling a sense of accomplishment. At the end of each day I can check at least one thing off my list. That is satisfying.
3. External validation. Although I had my doubts, I actually do still remember how to be a scientist!
4. Having a break and restarting. I had a lot of anger about the unfairness of academia toward women (didn’t notice, did ya?). But with a clean break, some time to recuperate, and a fresh start, much of that anger has dissipated. I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity to step away for a little while so that I could prevent myself from burning out completely.
5. Super-woman days. Having days when you wake up early to get a little extra work in before the day officially starts, you fit in a workout before class, you deliver a seamless lecture, you make a few students smile, you make it to your daughter’s after-school ballet class on time, you make a delicious and healthy meal for the whole family plus a few extra friends that happen to drop by, and somehow still finish some grading before bed. Those days really make you feel like “Wow! I really can have it all!” and make all the hard work worth it.

Things I’m still not so sure about:
1. Job security. Being an adjunct has its plusses and minuses. On the one hand, I won’t always have a steady job. On the other hand, I still don’t know that a tenure-track job is something I want. What if I need to take time away from my job to care for my daughter or my family? This seems to be a happy medium. But we’ll see how I feel next semester when I don’t have any classes to teach...
2. My slightly older child whom I can now reason with a little bit more. Getting past the terrible twos was essential for me returning to being a normally-functioning human being. I can now hold a conversation without having to run after my daughter every thirty seconds. However, this comes with great cost. Now she’s growing up so fast. Can I just preserve her in this cute, “Mommy, are you happy?” inquiring child state forever so that I don’t miss a second of her growing up?

Things I don’t like so much:
1. An always slightly messy house. Working more means less getting done at home. Fewer home cooked meals. Bigger piles of laundry. It’s manageable, but I still prefer a nice clean house. I do still find myself procrastinating by scrubbing the shower. Yes, there is something wrong with me.
2. Less time for friends and family. I’m beginning to slack off on birthday presents and thank you cards and “how-you-doin’?” phone calls. To all my dear friends and family, please accept my apologies. I’m going to keep trying my hardest to make sure this remains a priority in my life.
3. Kryptonite days. Having days when you’re reminded of your mortality and all of your flaws. When everything seems to be going precisely according to plan and then you get a flat tire and get set back hours from your perfect schedule and everything falls apart. Those days make me want to crawl back in bed and hide from the world forever. Luckily, though, after my break, those days don’t seem so bad anymore, and I feel prepared to let the small stuff roll off my back.

That’s all for now. I’ll check back in later in the semester after I’ve had more time to digest it all.

What’s in a Name?

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:22:37 -0700

I need to go on a small rant here for one moment. Please bear with me. I went to Human Resources today to sign my new hire documents (did I forget to mention that I got a job? Oops! Guess what? I got a job!!!!). Anyway, I went in to sign some documents today (tax info, direct deposit info, emergency contact info, etc...) and was completely caught off guard when I was told that they had to process all of my documents as my legal name and not my professional name. That means that my married name ends up in the school directory and not my professional name (i.e., the name all of my students and colleagues will be referring to me as). How are universities not yet set up to deal with this issue in 2012?!

This is a problem for a few reasons: 1) because it will be terribly confusing for everyone, and 2) because it will be harder to keep my identity separate from my husband (we will already be working in the same department). So, this forces me to either confuse everyone or else change my professional name. I made the decision a long time ago to keep my maiden name as my professional name. While in my home life I enjoy the unifying aspects of using my husband’s last name, in my work life I have already defined myself by my maiden name. I guess for now I’m just going to have to deal with confusing everyone. I’m sorry in advance to anyone who can’t get a hold of me because of this issue (who uses the directory these days anyway?).

Regardless of what anyone ends up calling me, I’m super excited about my new job and can’t wait to start!

Experiences of Other Academic Mothers

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:57:46 -0800

I wanted to point all of you to this article that was published last month in the Journal of Community Psychology, “Practicing what we teach? An autobiographical reflection on navigating academia as a single mother.” It is the story of one woman’s journey through academia as a single mother, the challenges she faced, and her recommendations for improving structures within the system as well as altering perceptions about combining parenthood and academia. It seems to me that lately more and more women are coming forward to tell their tales of balancing motherhood and academia. These messages can be extremely helpful to women who are considering academic careers and can be empowering for women who are currently attempting this delicate balancing act. Thank you, Michele Schlehofer, for your bravery and honesty.

Want to share your story? Email us at thescienceofmotherhood@gmail.com.

Kiddie Kennel Cough

Thu, 9 Feb 2012 11:03:46 -0800

The last few weeks have been a bit tough here as we've been getting acquainted with life in daycare. My daughter is only going to daycare for half days right now, but the germs are hitting us full time. We're averaging about one week on and one week off of daycare due to sicknesses. The first was a terrible cold (which I subsequently got) that turned into an ear infection. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that cold ever fully went away. This week she was out with pink eye in both eyes. Of course it "conveniently" showed up over the weekend, sending us to Urgent Care early Sunday morning rather than to the Botanical Gardens as we had planned. After four days of eye drops, I'm still not sure how anyone successfully applies eye drops to a two year old's eyes!

Anyway, I've been feeling a little down on myself lately, because I have been catching myself losing my patience. Waking up once a night, I can handle. But waking up every hour all night long?! Multiple days in a row?! (I can't imagine if I were actually working right now. How do working mothers make it through this stage of building up immunity to the toddler equivalent of kennel cough without getting fired?) Sunday was particularly hard, since I had to pin her down multiple times that day to administer eye drops and also because the doctor decided that it was a good time to go ahead and give her a few immunization shots (Seriously, Doc?!). She was not happy and neither was I. I was worried that by the end of the day she was going to lose all trust in me!

Maybe she could sense that I was feeling a little upset that night, because when I went to put her down to bed, she surprised me with this. She said, "You're a really good Momma." Normally she only says that to me when I make her a really delicious snack, but that night she knew exactly what I needed. And despite the fact that I knew she was going to be home from school for the next three days recovering from pink eye and that I would likely get no work done at all, I actually went to bed excited that I would get to spend that extra time with her. She's back at daycare now, which is good for both of us. But, I was a little sad when I dropped her off this morning and realized I'd be spending the morning without my little friend.

New Uses for Old Things

Fri, 3 Feb 2012 21:57:05 -0800

Around our house we've been dealing with a pesky little problem lately. By little, I'm referring to all of the tiny little toys my daughter likes to collect. The littlest pet shop animals, beads, rocks, polly pocket, squeakies, etc... The smaller, the better. These types of toys can keep her occupied for hours, but they're also a disaster come clean up time. I am constantly stepping on them or finding them under the couch and in every corner of the house. For a while, I would just give her any little empty boxes I would come across (e.g., egg cartons), but eventually those boxes took over her room and were beginning to drive me nuts.

Photo credit: thescienceofmotherhood.com

I needed a solution for the mess and fast. My first thought was this fun and bright storage system from The Land of Nod:

Photo credit: thelandofnod.com

I loved it, but had a feeling the little toys would still be hard to organize in those larger boxes. I needed something with small little compartments, yet big enough to hold all of her toys. Aha! An old card catalog file system! I looked it up on craigslist, and sure enough found a few. I picked this one up from a very friendly artist who lives only 5 minutes from me.

Photo credit: thescienceofmotherhood.com

It's perfect and holds all of her toys! It’s not quite as bright as the other option above, but the antiquey-library look to it just makes me smile. I'm not sure we'll be able to keep all those toys organized, but I know my daughter will have fun moving all the little pieces around in the different compartments.

As a side note, the woman I bought the card catalog from has designed some awesome kids' products, even some for one of my favorite stores, The Land of Nod. Funny coincidence, no? You can see her designs and books at www.libbyellisdesign.com.

Happy organizing!