Occam’s Razor pisses me right off. Not, necessarily, the actual Occam’s Razor but more specifically the belief that “the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one”. The belief that the simplest explanation is most likely correct is -for sure- wrong.

People like to smugly throw around this wording, somehow believing that “razor” means law or theory. First off, that’s not actually Occam’s Razor. Second, please stop basing your beliefs off Jody Foster films.

“Simplest” is relative and is based more on our place in the world than the world itself. What is simpler; A rabbi created man in his own image or our physical reality is an illusion created by man-made machines? 100 years ago; the rabbi, 100 years from now; The Matrix.

What we view as simple is based on our own culture, belief structure and place in the world. When people say “the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one” what they mean is, “whatever I already believe is most likely the correct answer”. The simplest explanation is the one we already hold, that doesn’t make it correct.

Well, I probably shouldn’t be using my magic box on the 7th day of the week anyway. I don’t really feel like being set on fire by the sky-rabbi.

The thing is; we will always overestimate the happiness of others. The grass will always be greener on the other side of the fence. The reason for both is that we allow our false perceptions to become real beliefs. Grass looks greener when viewed from an angle, people put their big-boy underoos on when they face adversity.

Only you know the path you walk just as you can’t know the path of others. Short of ruining your neighbors lawn, or sabotaging your friends, there’s not much you can do about this. I mean, I guess there’s the whole sod/Buffalo Bill thing but that kind of unravels the metaphor.

You could base your happiness on personal reflection instead of a sliding scale of peers but hey, this is America.

So, The Consumerist, Yahoo, Huffington Post, etc are running with this story involving Adrian Peterson. The story, as reported, goes like this: Woman let’s Adrian Peterson use the bathroom, at 3am, at the McDonald’s she assistant-manages from. She then, like a week later, got fired.

Here’s what happened, probably:

1. This chick works at McDonalds.
2. This chick blows off like a week of work.
3. Chick shows up to work at McDonalds.
4. Chick gets fired.
5. Chick makes up a story.
6. Local news reports the story.
7. Chick gets her job back.
8. National news reports the story.
9. Chick loses her job again.

It mostly rains in Portland, mostly.

My business model for The Strategic Retreat is a pretty simple bait and switch. Step 1: Don’t even attempt to make money. Step 2: Get majority of hits via one cookie recipe. Step 3: Once readers are lured in with cookies hit em with my own brand of extreme right/left -but never center- perspective. So far, so good.

In reality there are more steps and sub-points but you get the idea. As not to get too hung up on details; today’s cookies are dreads. Specifically, white people with dreads. Not everyone lives in a world where they trip over dreaded white people on their way to work. I do. These were taken last year in Portland on Alberta Street.