SUGARLACE

FOURTH OF JULY

2010-07-07T10:56:00.000-05:00

Yes this post is a few days late,but I hope that everyone enjoyed their july 4th as much as i did. I will always love fireworks, this time we had front row seats to them. We were so close that the ashes or whatever you call burned off residue from these explosions were falling on us. I've never enjoyed my summer this much as I am now. I will end this post with parting words. When it comes down to ~~this summer~~ your life, don't waste it on the small petty problems or even the big problems that might come your way. Life goes by so fast and is too short. So have fun, chill out with your fam or friends, make bad decisions ( they make good stories later, just kidding...or am I? ) but just take some time to be a stupid teenager. I know i will.

SUMMER 2010 IS COMING, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'LL BE?

2010-06-17T17:21:00.000-05:00

I'm so ready for a carefree summer.

DAYDREAMER

2010-04-20T20:27:00.001-05:00

[THIS IS A SHORT STORY I WROTE ABOUT A GIRL WHO'S BORED IN HER CLASS AND HAS A SERIES OF DAYDREAMS BECAUSE OF IT.]

Walking down the halls of my “glorious” high school, each day never changes. It has the usual smell of axe overdose, B.O, and other unpleasant smells. The cliques of Chatty Kathy’s, lost freshman, and new students act as barricades as I try to get to class. Their mixed chatter echoes in the hall. Luckily I have my mp3 to save me, and I tune everything out. I cruise as I normally would, swimming through the crowds in the hall, ignoring the fact that I have to go to my locker, simply because I don’t have time. I can’t be late for Lee’s class again. These thoughts and more have me at a half sprint down the hall to get to class. Almost mowing down a sophomore couple, I finally get to class. Sitting at my table in the back next to my partner in crime—Kat , I toss my stuff on the table, and fall back into the chair, attempting to make myself comfortable. Something that I try to do every time I sit in these wretched, metal chairs, but fail every time. Checking the invisible clock on her wrist, she says, “You’re early, or maybe we’re all just really late.”
“No,” pointing at the clock in front of the room, I replied, “It’s legit, I’m on time.”
“Keep this up; maybe you won’t get the evil eye from Lee so much.”
“Promise?” we laughed. “What are the plans for tonight?”
“I don’t know…movies?”
“Eh, I feel like we’ve seen every movie in the theater.”
“That’s because we have.” Ms. Lee walked in, we instantly stop talking, she looks directly at me. “Miss Clay, you’re on time.” she says.
You should be glad I even came here. “Yep,” I replied, awkwardly slumping into my chair. I felt like she secretly got a kick out of calling me out in the middle of class like that “She hates me,” I leaned over and whispered to Kat.
“I didn’t notice.” Kat smirked as she started to scribble all over her notebook. Just one of the things you do when you’re bored in Lee’s class. Honestly, her Psych class was boring, mostly because of her monotone voice. Kat and I are convinced that her true calling is to be an anesthesiologist; all she has to do is talk to the patients.

Doctors are preparing for gastric bypass surgery on a patient. The patient is a middle aged man, he’s bald, but a salt and pepper beard covers his face. He’s wearing the usual white hospital gown and talking to the doctors as they prepare him for his surgery. They’re aggressively washing their hands, running them under the water again, and again; they’re dried off and placed in gloves by aids. The anesthesiologist walks in and gets ready to put the patient under. One of the doctors—like a crossing guard during school hours—halts her. “We don’t need you this time.”
The anesthesiologist, confused, replies to the doctor, “Who else is going to do it?”
“Yea,” the patient intrudes sitting up, “What are you doing?”
“We have someone, don’t worry.” He nods and waves Ms. Lee into the operating room. Turning to her, “Now,” he starts, “Tell Mr. Johnson here a little bit about the cerebellum.” Ms. Lee is flattered. “Okay, well the cerebellum is responsible for voluntary motor movement, balance and—” She doesn’t finish her sentence because of the loud thud. The patient is instantly knocked out.
“Good work.” the doctor says complementing Lee...

I shook my head and laughed to myself. Then I started doing what I usually do in her class, to stare out the window. Although Psych was boring, the class had these incredibly high windows that were a few inches from the ceiling. Our school was really old, and most of the classrooms had cathedral ceilings with these large windows. I always liked looking out of them; it’s the only thing that kept me entertained in this class. So I stared to look out into the cotton clouds in the sky, and at the two birds socializing on the tree branch across from the window. I spaced out.

The birds in front of the window were chirping. Looking at me, and chirping some more. They started to laugh, but I brushed it off. It’s not possible for birds to have human laughs like that. The chirping faded and then I heard words, human words. “Why does she keep staring at us like that?” one of the birds said.
“I don’t know, but let’s look at her, see what she does.” the other replied. They continued to stare back. My jaw dropped. “What…the… hell,” I mumbled, nudging Kat at the same time. She had to look out the window, she had to see this. She ignored me. “Look at her,” they snickered. “She’s about to freak out.” I continue to stare at these birds; my eyes are the size of saucers at this point. “What the hell?” I say, looking at these smartasses out of the window. One of them flies up to the window. “Natalie, Natalie, NATALIE!” it says. Only this time the voice isn’t of the bird, it’s of Kat. The nudging then followed.

I was immediately dragged back into reality, and to Kat nudging me continuously until I hissed at her, “What?” She points to Ms. Lee, who’s called on me; I was so distracted by the “mischievous birds” that I didn’t hear her when she asked me the question. “What ever is outside seems to be more entertaining than my class huh?”
Yes. “Uhhh, no?” I replied.
“You sound unsure about that.”
That’s because I am. “Nope, I’m not. This class is very entertaining.”
“Okay, well pay attention then, because I’m going to call on you again.”
I look over at Kat; she’s on the brink of hysterical laugher. Sending daggers her way, I try to pay attention to the class. I wish there was some kind of number that you could dial to get out of this class early by causing some sort of random fire drill or something.

My hand is the only thing supporting my head from falling smack dab on the middle of the table. Boredom is trying to force my eyelids close, but I fight against it. Ms. Lee starts to talk, and what used to sound like plain English, is now turning into a series of blahs. “Now around blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah.”
I laugh to myself. Looking at my pocket, then at Lee, and then my pocket again. Verifying that the coast is clear. I pull out my phone and type in a number for the fire alarm to go off. My fingers race over the keys as I hastily type in the digits. All I have to do is press that little green button, and we’re out of here. Ms. Lee looks at me. “Natalie, blah blah blah, blah blah phone?”
“No,” I say quickly, phone in hand, ready to push that green button. Like a bull, she charges at me with her palm out. She wants my phone. She’s inches away from my desk. Now! A voice says, and I push it. Instant fire alarm. Ms. Lee stops in her tracks, confused, and starts rushing the class outside. I smile.
OUCH!

Something is pinching me, no, someone is pinching me. Kat. I give her a what-the-hell look, and she points to Lee. “She’s getting ready to call on you again, just so you know.” She whispers.
“Thanks for the heads up.” I reply. “Wait, what is she talking about?” Kat smirks and shows me some notes she’s jotted down. “Ohhh, okay.”
“It wouldn’t kill you to try to concentrate in this class—” She stopped, looked at me and laughed lightly. She realized that she was asking me to do the impossible. It’s like sitting a hyper 8-year-old in the corner and telling him to stare at the wall for an hour; it’s not going to work out. Not in this class. I look over at the clock. 7:50.
Class is not even close to being over. I can’t handle it. I make the trek up to the front of the class. My mission: get that bathroom pass. I start to walk between the tables, Lee is up at the board drawing diagrams, her back is turned to me. Yes. I think as my hand almost touches the pass, my ticket to freedom. Got it. The tip of my foot touches the hallway, I already feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Lee turns around just as half of my body is out of the class. “Miss Clay?” Shit. I cringe and begin to turn around to face my boring nemesis. “Where are you going?” she asks.
I felt like a mouse stuck in one of those sneaky cage traps, and the bathroom pass was the bait.

Natalie is dressed in a mouse costume and she’s sitting at the table with Kat. No one else realizes or even pays attention to the fact that she’s in a mouse costume, but her. She gets out of her chair and starts to crawl to get to the bathroom pass that’s sitting on the middle of the floor in the front to the classroom. Ms. Lee starts to turn around to draw diagrams on the board. As if she’s going for cheese Natalie excitedly crawls towards the pass. When she finally gets to it she squeaks with excitement. “Miss Clay?” Ms. Lee turns around. She pulls the thick, golden cord next to her and a large metal cage falls around Natalie. Natalie looks at Lee in disbelief.
“I was so close,” Natalie says, as she slumps against the cage. Ms. Lee puts her face up to the cage, “Ms. Clay, are you going to answer me, where are you going?”

“Ms. Clay!” I jerk up. I spaced out while she was talking to me. This is becoming an issue. Ms. Lee was turned towards me with her hand on her hip, and her foot tapping the floor. “Ms. Clay, I’ll ask you again, where are you going?”
I’m getting out of here before I go into a coma. “The bathroom?”
“You didn’t ask.”
Seriously? “I’m sorry; I didn’t want to interrupt you while you were teaching.” She stares at me for a minute, then nods.
“Okay,” she replies.
I slowly walk out of the classroom, and down the hall. As soon as I was clear of the “evil lair”, my phone started to buzz. I pulled it out of my pocket, it read: YOU HAVE 1 NEW MESSAGE. Probably Kat. I opened it, and it was. She was telling me how much of a slacker I was for slipping out of Lee’s class to roam the halls. I laughed as my thumbs traveled along the keys replying with a sarcastic remark. I was so busy looking down at my phone, I didn’t see—or hear—Principal Craig in the hallway. I bumped into him. He looked annoyed and pulled one of those I’m-clearing-my-throat-to-catch-your-attention numbers. “Hey Mr. Craig,” I tried to sound as nice as possible, maybe he’ll ignore the fact that I have my phone out.
“Where are you supposed to be?” He was really annoyed.
“Ms. Lee’s class, but I’m going to the bathroom.”
“And your phone happens to be part of that?”
“Yes?” I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to give me your phone, they’re not supposed to be out during school hours. I mimicked him in my head. I knew he was going to say that anyway, he’s that predictable.
“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to give me your phone, they’re not supposed to be out during school hours.”
Called it. “Can’t you just turn the other way this time?” I pleaded. I mean maybe he has a heart somewhere and he’ll walk away. He shook his head and held his palm out to get my phone. I closed my phone—but I took the battery out—and gave it to him. He looked at me like was crazy before he scolded me again and turned around to head back to the office. It’s so unfair. We’re always getting our phones taken away, but I walk down the halls and see teachers on the phone all the time. They’re even texing! I wish that we could take their phones away.

Natalie and Kat are leaning on the wall in the hallway. They’re both wearing sunglasses, chewing gum, and have their arms crossed. The hallways are filled with teachers, and all of the teachers are acting like the students, backpacks and all. The bell rings and they rush to their classes. Everyone is out of the hallway except for Principal Craig who is walking down the hallway laughing and texting on his phone. Kat taps Natalie on her shoulder and points to Principal Craig, who doesn’t realize that they’re in the hall. Natalie steps in the way of Craig and Craig runs into Natalie. She takes off her sunglasses and crosses her arms. Fraig nervously says, “Hi Ms. Clay,”
“Where are you supposed to be?”
“Physics, but I’m going to the bathroom.”
Natalie starts to laugh “Sure, and your phone happens to be a part of that?”
“Yes?”
Natalie starts to obnoxiously pop her gum, “Wrong answer. This sucks, but I’m going to have to take your phone, you know they’re not supposed to be out during school hours.”
Mr. Craig closes his phone, but takes the battery out before giving it to her. “Oh no you don’t.” Natalie says, holding her hand out for the battery. Slumping in defeat Mr. Craig hands over the battery.
He starts to pout; he crosses his arms and says, “This isn’t fair,”
“Life isn’t fair son.” Natalie replies as she returns to her spot next to Kat. Craig stomps off to the bathroom while Kat and Natalie exchange high fives before returning to their crossed arms stance.

After standing in the hallway for a few minutes, I got over the fact that Principal Craig just took my phone away. I mean it’s not the end of the world; I’ll get it back at the end of the day…hopefully. I stopped walking when I reached the big window in the middle of the hall. Leaning on the wall, I started to stare out at the trees blooming green leaves in the courtyard. I watched the clouds cruise slowing across the sky, and I watched the birds play around on the grass, like kids in a school yard. I plugged in my earphones, pressed play, and I took it all in.

LADY GAGA ON CHATROULETTE!

2010-04-10T19:20:00.002-05:00

Just kidding.

This is the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life.I wish i could find this guy and make him my best friend so we can dance to lady gaga all day.

NO BALLS? THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT, IT'S CALLED FORMSPRING

2010-03-20T12:33:00.000-05:00

FORMSPRING.ME
I made one last year, but I didn't start using it until now. It's become a really hot app for talking shit and getting into other people's business without the person figuring out who you are. I have one, and people haven't really talked shit to me on it, I am very grateful for that, but I look at other people's formsprings and these people are going really hard, calling them names and really putting their business out there.
It really made me question why people suddenly grow a huge pair of balls when they're behind a keyboard. Why?
It's because they know that they're safe at home, and the person can't get to them. That's why.
It also spares them the embarrassment of being torn to pieces in front of a huge crowd of peers.
Formspring should really have a thing where they reveal who the anonymous person is. I'm not for talking shit to people online, anonymously or not. I feel that if you have a problem with someone you should say it to their face <--- I know this phrase is so overused, but true.

It's just the way the world should work. And it's the way that mature people handle their problems. This is my second computer app post, I guess I'm in a very techy mood right now, If that's the right way to phrase that. It just bothers me how people overall can stand up to you on the internet,but can't say anything to your face. Cowards do that.
But overall formspring is a really fun app when talking to your friends and stuff and when you get to ask silly questions.

WTF IS CHATROULETTE?

2010-03-20T12:19:00.000-05:00

Checking my e-mail as i usually do i saw an article about this site CHATROULETTE, the writer was talking about his day trying out the site. He talked about the weird and funny things he saw. If you guys don't know what chatroulette is, it's a game where you can talk to anyone in the world with the click of a button, and you can STOP talking to them with the click of a button.

I recently got a new laptop with a webcam. After leaving a couple vids on my friend's facebook walls I decided to try out the site out of pure boredom :O. I clicked F9 several times and had a convo with this dude from germany, it was kind of cool, and it was the first PERSON that I saw. Those of you who play the game would understand that last part. I pressed the next button a few more times so see a black screen, and some guy playing the piano. Some others were just sitting around looking bored.

I don't think i would play it any time soon, though, maybe I'd play it with some friends for shits and giggles. but it is something that I could use for my sociology class. Because of all the different personalities.

I've heard stories of how celebrities even use this site. It's a cool thought that with the click of the F9 button you can be talking to ashton kutcher or gabby sidibe. I would probably be really awkward and just say "hi" or something.
What were your experiences with chatroulette?

WASHED OUT, SMALL BLACK, AND PICTUREPLANE

2010-03-07T15:21:00.000-06:00

Went to a show set up by the HARTFORD PARTY STARTERS. If you're ever in Connecticut, and looking for something to do, they always have some fun party or show set up. They really made hartford fun again. I went with my friend to see Washed out, small black, and pictureplane. All of them were amazing. I loved it the most when small black and washed out played together, they should all join forces and make a superband or something. Maybe they could call it Washed black? Out small? Washed small? Or i guess I should just leave the names alone and just bask in the memories of a good ass show last night.

formspring.me

2010-02-28T22:07:00.001-06:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/alexandran

OSCAR

2010-02-28T12:19:00.001-06:00

The oscars are coming up, I usually don't watch them because I don't really feel like staying up, and I hadn't watched most of the movies that were on there, but this year, I think I might just watch them.

BEST PICTURE NOMINEES
-AVATAR

I have a strong feeling that this movie is going to win best picture at the oscars. It's made more than a billion dollars, and the critics and moviegoers loved it. This has been a good year of Cameron, the man's got the midas touch when it comes down to movies, first titanic now avatar, if avatar doesn't win, something's wrong with the world.

-THE BLIND SIDE

I haven't seen it yet, but according to the critics Bullock's performance in this was really good.

-DISTRICT 9

I loved this movie. I loved the documentary like style of it, and it had a good unpredictable plot. It was good,but I don't think it can match up to movies like Avatar and the blind side.

-AN EDUCATION

-THE HURT LOCKER

-INGLORIOUS BASTARDS

-PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL "PUSH" BY SAPPHIRE

I don't know about this movie winning this oscar. It was good,but it's the type of movie that you want to forget after seeing. The things that the character precious goes through really does put you into a state of disbelief,anger, and gloom.

-A SERIOUS MAN

-UP

-UP IN THE AIR

*CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHO WINS*

SWEET DISPOSITION

2010-02-28T11:50:00.001-06:00

SWEET DISPOSITON- THE TEMPER TRAP

BREAKAWAY

2010-02-26T19:55:00.004-06:00

(Motorcycle Boots: frye)

I finally got my dream frye boots in the mail yesterday, I didn't expect to get them so soon. Tripping over my laptop cord and almost eating the floor, I rushed out to get my package before the mailman left. I went outside to the wrong mailman though, the "conversation" consisted of this:

Me: Excuse me.
Douche mailman: (ignores me)
Me: Excuse me
Douche mailman:(lights up cigarette, takes a drag.)
Me: Excuse me.
Douche mailman: (starts truck, and starts to turn around, leaving.)
Me: what the fuck?

After getting back inside, I realized that the other mailman was upstairs and he might have my package, and he did. Rushing downstairs I went back into my house, ripped open the box to see these lovely black boots staring back, it was love at first sight. I tried them on, perfect fit, I've been trying to break them in all day. For those of you who would like to buy a pair of frye boots, I do suggest getting half a size up. People say to just get your size. I usually wear a 9, the boots are a 9.5, and they're more comfortable, and I can wear socks with them.

So, on to different things, I've been dealing with the bipolar weather. First it's sunny and clear, then snow comes out of nowhere. Dear Summer 2010, please hurry up and come to us already.Why must you take so long, was it something we did?
Moving on the the less dramatic,
I seriously can't wait until the summer, I'm thinking road trips, completing my bucket list, and looking for some films to do.
It's also when I graduate, and enter the real world. I can't wait, but I'm scared at the same time.Every year in high school, I've been extremely moody, and dreading going there-mostly because of the problems with other girls my friends and I would face-but now, I just want to go through each day, because it brings me closer to "freedom."

DO YOU WANT TO FOLLOW THIS BLOG?

ISN'T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT DAILY STYLE?

2010-02-25T19:31:00.000-06:00

Looking through the different posts on my blog, I realized how much I've strayed from my usual outfit posts. I love doing outfit posts, but to be honest, it kind of bored me to just put that on my blog.I doesn't really represent me that well. I mean I love a good daily style blog, they help me when I'm having my STYLE BLOCK. yes, I said it, STYLE BLOCK, it's like writer's block, only it's with clothes, and it happens when you tear apart your closet looking for that perfect outfit,but you can't think of something to wear. I love daily style blogs, but they become boring after a while.
That's why I've changed the direction of this blog to talk about things other than what I wear on a daily basis, I want this blog to be just as random as I am.I want it to represent me 100%. I want to talk about movies, music, and I want to posts my daily thoughts and writing. Especially my writing, because I love it so much, it's therapeutic. Once I put on my earphones, and my hands start to run along the keys, I'm in a totally different world.
So no, I'm not straying from my outfit posts, I just want this blog to be about everything. I want it to relate to everyone.I want this blog to be more about my life, not just about what I put on my body.
I've also disabled the comments. I don't really need someone to tell me how much they like what I post to feel satisfied, just the fact that you guys read and subscribe to my blog is all that really matters to me.

PARDON ME

2010-02-25T15:30:00.000-06:00

PARDON ME-INCUBUS

AVATAR CAUSING DEPRESSION?

2010-02-25T15:24:00.003-06:00

When I first heard about this, I honestly thought it was a joke. How could anyone watching avatar and looking at pandora-it's beautiful forest with more colors than crayola could ever create, and the unique creatures-be depressed. In the article,it said that people were depressed because they realized that they couldn't live on pandora, after watching it some said they felt their lives were "gray" and really didn't have much meaning. One man was even contemplating suicide for hope that he might be reincarnated into one of the people of the na'vi tribe. Reading this article and shaking my head, my only opinion is this: Those moviegoers were already depressed long before they saw james cameron's epic creation. I'm sorry,but it's just my opinion. When I saw that movie, I didn't feel depressed, I was actually happy, and inspired. I walked out of there thinking how cool it would be if we really had cat alien beings roaming around, and if we had eclectic forests that glow at night.I thought for once, here we have a really good movie that's not filled with ridiculous cliches, and over the top explosions. I didn't feel like all hope was lost.

*Now on to happier topics, the coolest thing about this movie, is that cameron created this story about 10 years ago. The only reason why he didn't make it was because technology wasn't advanced enough to make it, he was waiting for it to "catch up."

THE ONLY EXCEPTION

2010-02-19T22:09:00.002-06:00

THE ONLY EXCEPTION-PARAMORE

CURRENT OBSSESSION: KNUCKLE RINGS

2010-02-16T20:27:00.003-06:00

BRAND NAME BRAGGERS

2010-02-16T19:44:00.004-06:00

Brand name braggers, a.k.a little assholes who buy brand name clothes,cars,etc, not because they appreciate the design,but so they can brag about it, talk about how much it costs, look down on people. I have nothing against people buying brand name clothing or driving expensive cars, if you like it buy it, whatever, but don't go talking down on other people talking about how they copied your look, talking about how your decked in gucci, and louie talking about how nice of a car you drive. I honestly think it's the tackiest thing. Do you realize how stupid some of you look trying to live a lifestyle that you can't even afford? There's this one quote that I've always remembered, Will smith said it, he said: "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." So you drive the 2010 lexus, you wear louis vuitton, armani, and all that jazz. You look down on the guy who's driving the 1992 honda and wears a t-shirt and basketball shorts, and just think that he's a complete mess. But at the end of the day that other guy is well off because he isn't the one draining his savings account on expensive shit, he's saving. He doesn't have to worry about monthly car payments. In the end he won't be drowning in debt, and he'll have a nice career that'll pay him that six figures because he knows what it means to work hard for your own money and not having everything handed to you. I just hate when people spend money they DON'T have trying to live some fake lifestyle and have they're nose so high in the fucking air, it drives me nuts.

LEMONADE

2010-02-16T19:38:00.001-06:00

LEMONADE-BIG WEEKEND VIDEO

REST IN PEACE

2010-02-11T17:03:00.000-06:00

R.I.P ALEXANDER MCQUEEN

FUCK YES

2010-02-08T18:12:00.003-06:00

CLASH OF THE TITANS (APRIL 2, 2010)

EIGHTEEN

2010-02-07T20:17:00.003-06:00

My 18th birthday was on wednesday,but I've been so busy this week, I haven't had time to update with my birthday posts. This was also the week of my school's play ALICE IN WONDERLAND which I also participated in, I loved it, everyone did a fantastic job and it was so much fun.

my sister and I, it was her bday also, we're twins.

We went out to eat at this restaraunt called bugaboo creek steakhouse. There were animal heads mounted on the walls, my dad didn't like that part. I don't blame him. Nothing makes you lose your appetite more than looking at dead animal heads while you're eating chicken. Then we went out for ice cream afterwards. But overall I had a very nice 18th birthday, I spent time with my family, and that's all I really wanted. Most people go out to clubs,but I have the rest of my life to do that. The first order of business now that I'm 18. Buy a lottery ticket. Haha, I know it sounds really weird,but I want to get one of those scratch tickets just to see what I can win. I'm now an adult,but I don't really feel any different. The only thing I want now is for time to go a little slower. These years are passing me at light speed. It seems like yesterday I was a freshmen in high school, now, I'm a senior getting ready to go to college and start a new life. Where the hell did time go?

IN A DREAM I WAS

2010-02-06T21:56:00.002-06:00

I switched into a creative writing class with one of my friends this week, the previous short fiction class we were taking before, wasn't really working out. We were given a sheet asking us for info about ourselves, why we wanted to take the class, and what not. One of the things I felt I needed to improve on the most was feeling comfortable with people reading what I write. I'll write so many stories,but the only person who reads them is me. So below is one of the things I wrote for my class. We're reading this packet and it gives us some random things to write. One of the things I wrote about was a dream I had. Here it is: I had this dream some time last year. I don't remember what day it was on,but I will never forget it because it gave me a feeling that I don't ever want to feel again, I tear up every time I think about it and I even cried a little typing this. My sister Christina and I are walking on the flat roof of a building as if we were gymnasts. One foot in front of the other, arms out.We stop when we get to the roof of another building, it's pointed. That meant that it was impossible to walk on, if you tried, you'd take a long fall to your death on the concrete below you.I told her not to do it, because she would fall. She didn't listen to me, she just kept on walking anyway.She slipped, and began to fall. As she was falling she said: "you let me fall." Then she landed.Any other person would hear a thud,but I didn't, not in this dream. I look down at the ground, her body is laying-lifeless-on the ground. I knew she wasn't coming back.I start to get this weird knot in my stomach, not a nervous knot, that knot you get when you realize you're never going to see someone again. I felt empty.I started to think of the fact that I wouldn't see her anymore. I wouldn't have someone to tell my problems to. I would hear her laugh, and I wouldn't see her face in school anymore.I would be alone.All of these thoughts and more went through my head in a matter of 30 seconds. I then said: "I've lost my sister." I woke up from the dream, and started crying. That dream felt way too real. I don't ever want to be faced with that situation. I've always thought about how Christina and I will be when we're old and gray. You know how people pass away of old age? I don't mean to sound weird but,I hope that when we're old and gray and it's my time to go, I pass away before Christina does. So I don't have to have that feeling of emptiness again, I don't think I would be able to handle it.

BELONG

2010-01-30T17:58:00.003-06:00

This fucking amazing song right here is by WASHED OUT, my friend Chelsie told me about him when she invited me to one of his shows next month. I can't wait he's amazing.I've been listening to his music ever since she told me about him.

GARANCE DORE

2010-01-29T14:33:00.004-06:00

One of my favorite blogs is Garance Dore, I love reading it when I have the time to. She's very inspiring because she goes to show that you don't have to take internships at top magazines, or have a degree from a prestigous fashion institute to be a big part of the fashion world.Her sketches are also freaking amazing.

ALICE INSPIRED

2010-01-29T14:23:00.003-06:00

“I think my favorite Alice character is the March Hare. You can see I’ve made his watch rather prominent. This was a different design process for me, because I’m not usually so applicative—typically, I’m thinking about line, silhouette. But this time, I figured, why not just pile as much as I can on top?” —Nicholas Kirkwood Alice in Wonderland inspired heels by Nicholas Kirkwood.