The Superest

Motivational Speaker

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:47:30 -0500

Encourages individuality and self-sufficiency. I understand the majority of the moths have split up and are dynamically pursuing the dream of running their own home business or restaurant.

Be He Moth

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:41:28 -0500

Chews up fabric. Those moths have a lot of balls...

Doc Docile

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 09:40:27 -0500

Uses his DomestiCape to pacify dangerous gators. I think he borrowed that cape from Count Napula. I guess he's not giving it back.

Tail Gator

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:20:21 -0500

Has a ravenous hunger for alcohol-soaked flesh. You guys with your faces painted with the team colors—I'm looking at you. You guys outside the Springsteen concert too...

Buster Booster

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 09:58:51 -0500

Wears a super-luxurious mink, seal, and otter fur coat. Nothings soaks up oil and grease like Arctic Mammal fur.

Jerry Curl

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 00:51:01 -0500

His hair makes all surfaces slippery. It's as if the floor were paved with banana peels. Yeah, slippery, I know!

Stampete, The One-Man Herd

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:01:50 -0500

Hootenannies set him a-tramplin'. There's not a cowboy out there who can withstand 225 hooves to the face and still remain a gracious host.

The Fondude

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 23:43:45 -0500

Melts cheeses for his wild hootenannies. He'll kick your asiago real gouda.

Wonder Rind

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:44:08 -0500

Ten times harder than the hardest cheese. No grate can tolerate its indestructible composition! Or, for that matter, its musical or literary compositions.

Harold the Grate

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 22:44:22 -0500

Reduces sponges to a pile of squishy dust. Seriously though, this guy is the hardest thing to scrub clean since the invention of bread bowls.

Desikkate

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 10:08:47 -0500

Siphons moisture. Poor Amphibiore. He's about be the amphibian equivalent of a raisin. Though I bet even he will taste better in a cookie. Take that, raisins.

Amphibior

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:27:48 -0500

Reverts princes to frogs within seconds of exposure Ever meet a frog that makes YOU croak?

Prince Charming

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 07:19:56 -0500

The incontestable bane of step-family. Step-dad will probably just be forced to dance in heated iron shoes, brought forth with tongs, until he dies. That seems to be a popular punishment among fairy-tale royalty.

Step Dad

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 23:53:18 -0500

With super-grounding abilities! No video games for 6 months! He'll send you to your room... in a body bag!

Joyless Stick

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 12:46:13 -0500

The thumb's worst enemy. The only thing ergonomic about this guy is... well, nothing, I guess.

I tried to make a joke, but... uh...

Don't look at me!