For the better part of half my life, I was, to a perpetrator, the perfect, unsuspecting victim. I had all the key elements for an easy take down: Though I was physically fit, I lacked situational awareness, the proper mindset and the necessary skills to defend myself in the event of an attack. Sad to say, I embodied the average woman. And I can’t even use the excuse, “I was young and stupid,” for what I know today can be taught, learned and applied at any age.

image by thivierr

If you’re fortunate enough to have been trained in the art of self defense from childhood, more power to you, but women are typically indoctrinated from youth that fighting is for men and that they lack the physical dominance and strength to defend themselves. Although this may be true to a point, personal self defense is not measured by the size of your muscles, but rather by possessing the proper mindset to perceive a threat, execute the proper skills to overcome the threat, and purpose, as much as it depends on you, to never to leave with your attacker to a “secondary crime scene”. If your mindset is such that physical strength matters more than these principles to ensure your safety, then you’ve missed the point. Personal self defense has little to do with strength.

Let’s face it gals (and guys), times are rapidly changing for the worse, and as morality and the economy continue to spiral downward, so does your security. You cannot depend on your safety to the government, your local law enforcement and, even in some cases, your own family. No matter how well meaning they might be, what if they simply are not there in time when you’re face to face with an attacker?  You must possess these self defense skills for yourself.

There are three essential principles we must adhere to in a self-defense situation if we expect to overcome the odds of being injured, or worse yet, killed.

Principle #1: First and foremost, we must possess the proper mindset to perceive a threat by maintaining situational awareness of our immediate surroundings.

image by Ed Yourdon

Most attacks are perpetrated upon easy prey. What do I mean? Try to get inside the mind of this evil person. Would he prefer someone who holds her head high with confidence, keys in hand, scanning the horizon for anything unusual, or one who obviously has her mind on other things, shuffling to her car, cell phone glued to her ear, fumbling for her keys, clueless? The first would be a fighter; the latter, a vulnerable target. See it from the perpetrator’s perspective, and don’t give him what he wants.

How do we do this practically? Train your mind to be proactive and aware. Study people as they’re approaching you; look at what they’re holding, how they carry themselves. Make eye contact (it demonstrates confidence), and try to perceive their possible intent by their response to that contact. Know what is behind you, beside you and even in front of you.  Glance under, around and inside your car before entering. Never park next to a van with tinted windows or no side windows or beside a car with suspicious passengers. Notice anything out of the ordinary. Trust your intuition. Oftentimes while driving, my husband will ask me, “Without looking, what color is the car behind you?”  Or, “What was that man wearing who just passed by us in the grocery store?” At times it seems somewhat silly or even nosy, but I believe it’s these practice drills that may one day save my life.

The late Jeff Cooper, author, president and founder of The American Pistol Institute, developed what he called the “Color Code of Readiness”. The White Zone is when someone is oblivious of his or her surroundings and immediate environment, typical of the one I described earlier. The Yellow Zone signifies someone who has situational awareness, conscious of everything within her visual reach, ready. At Orange Zone, the person is alert, perceives a threat and has already determined to act if need be, and finally, at Red Zone, the person has actually encountered a specific threat that poses immediate consequences to her personal safety. At this point, she should fight or take flight using clear, concise verbal commands and movement. If you want to dramatically increase your odds from avoiding or evading a threat all together, you must purposely be on guard at yellow, orange and red zones, depending on the severity of the threat. Never, under any circumstance, choose to live in the White Zone.  To do so could reap severe penalties.

Being situationally aware also means making wise choices and taking extra precautions even in ordinary and suspicious situations. In everyday practical living, be aware of the person watching your transactions, such as showing your driver’s license to the cashier while some shady character behind you gets a quick glance at all your personal information.

While driving or on foot, be aware of the person or car behind you. A good rule of thumb is this: If you’re being trailed behind after three consecutive right turns, there’s a good chance you are being followed. Do NOT go home at this point, lest you reveal your place of residence to this possible perpetrator. Drive to a well-lit, populated area like a large gas station, or better yet, the police department! Assuming you have a cell phone, you may even want to call 911 if you fear for your safety.

Principle #2: We must execute the proper skills to overcome the threat by honing some hands-on self defense techniques now. What good will it do for you to practice the first principle but at some point fail and find yourself pinned to the ground by your attacker with a gun to your head, or feel the icy edge of a knife at your throat from behind. Trust me, you don’t want to end up there! This is where practical personal defense training becomes critical.

image by andydr

So where do you begin? Though the mere sight of a handgun intimidates many women, it’s a good place to start. The only way to overcome the fear of the unknown is to gain a working, practical knowledge of the thing you fear. Contrary to popular belief, guns aren’t dangerous.  It’s the criminal behind them, or those who simply do not understand the basics of handgun safety, who pose a danger.

To be any earthly good in a deadly situation, you have to be comfortable with defending yourself, and this begins with practice. Get involved. Contact your local police department, like I did with my first exposure to handgun training, and inquire about any self-defense training offered. Check online or your Yellow Book pages. Many gun stores also have an indoor shooting range you can use for a nominal fee. In varying locales, there are outdoor shooting ranges and gun clubs available. With a little inquiry, you will find that you are not alone. There are many women just like you with varying interests and from all walks of life who share the same belief: We cannot depend on others for our safety in a world of increasing moral, social and economic decline. Self-defense training starts somewhere, and the practical skills of using a handgun are just one of them.

image by DrJimGlide

Though a handgun can bring a sense of security in an otherwise dangerous world, it cannot always protect you. What if you simply forget to carry it on your person or you cannot get to your weapon prior to the attack? What if your attacker is able to knock the gun out of your hand, or fear arrests you and you simply cannot maintain the collectiveness to shoot with precision? These are real questions to ponder because if they happen, you risk becoming a victim. Though handgun training is crucial, honing other self defense techniques can be a wise backup plan. Self-defense is not for the weak and winded. In order to preserve yourself in a deadly situation, your physical body must be prepared. Going to the gym, lifting weights, taking an aerobics class or running on a tread mill provides some physical stamina the body needs in order to resist exhaustion in the heat of an attack, but even that is not enough.

Imagine this scenario and try to envision yourself here. You’re walking nonchalantly toward your car thinking about the events of the day when suddenly your arm is clasped from behind and pulled forcefully downward. Your head crashes against the unforgiving concrete.  Blood gushes from your nose. Before you have a moment to think, your attacker is now on top of you, beating your face with open fists. Gasping for air from fear and excruciating pain, you scream and slap him in an aimless attempt to protect yourself, by which time he has secured your flailing arms while pressing a knife against your throat. Subdued under the weight of his body, you have nowhere else to turn. You are the next victim.

image by USACE Europe District

This is a frightening scenario and chances are you will not win unless you are prepared for it ahead of time. You do not have to be the next victim and your fate is truly up to you. Rewind the scene: what if you knew how to break the fall when landing on the ground so that you did not injure yourself? What if you knew how to defend yourself effectively on the ground with controlled breathing techniques while countering the attack to your eventual escape? This is what body conditioning and self defense training like martial arts can do for you.

If you’ve never experienced a “simulated attack,” including some of the pain involved with a real attack, then you’ll never know what to expect. In a simulated attack, you learn techniques to defend yourself against any punch, kick, grab or throw. If your attacker knows how to counter your defense, there is also a counter to his counter. These techniques are traditionally taught in many martial arts schools. Jujutsu and Judo are just two of many styles that involve grappling and ground techniques which I believe is where self-defense is most practical. Ground self-defense techniques are so important for the obvious reason that the majority of all attacks end up on the ground at some point. The key is knowing what to do when you’re there. As Master Larry Hartsook, Eagle Karate, so aptly puts it and is part of his martial arts school motto, “Look into the technique and find your way out”.

Some other self-defense techniques involve turning the tables on your attacker by giving him the opposite of what he expects. It’s called diversion. First, you fain fear and vulnerability by acting incompetent only long enough for him to let his guard down, then with ruthless aggression you divert or attack. Your action at that moment will beat his reaction. For instance, if your attacker towers in front of you with a gun or knife, spewing out words of profanity in an effort to get what he wants, you hold up your hands and plead for your life. Before he has time to blink an eye, swiftly step to the side, blocking the barrel of the gun with the outside of your wrist. Your immediate intent is a counterattack once the gun is out of his reach or escape. Another technique is attack by combination: For instance, the attacker attempts to grab you from the front, you execute a knee strike to the groin; his hands drop to protect himself while you eye gouge or throat strike him; repeat the process. Be ruthless. Be aggressive. Surprise even yourself, but never give in. Follow through.

image by The Consortium

There are many ways to prepare your body for action, but martial arts ranks highest in my opinion. It creates confidence and fosters self-esteem in one’s ability to face fear with tenacity and resolve. It also builds endurance and tolerance of pain. I’m used to bumps, bruises and broken bones, fingers and toes, mind you, but it still hurts! When faced with your attacker, don’t be afraid of pain. Though pain may seem like your enemy now, it may one day be your friend. Learn to endure it so you can easily overcome it when it really matters most.

In addition to physical training, mental preparedness is just as important, and this leads us to our third principle. Never, under any circumstance, as much as it depends on you, leave with your attacker to a “secondary crime scene”. At some point of an attack, you may be subdued and dragged against your will to a vehicle or threatened with a weapon to drive to some remote place. Your attacker has no sympathy at this point, not that he ever did, but you are almost certain to be his next victim if you ever submit.

Many of you may remember the Channon Christian/Christopher Newsom case in Knoxville, Tennessee, where this young couple was carjacked at gunpoint, bound and taken to a rundown rental house. One can only imagine the horror of being tortured, repeatedly raped and finally murdered.  In fact, the details are too heinous to even speak of.  I cannot write this and not feel immense pain for them and their families, especially when I realize these vicious, inhumane acts of violence quite possibly could have been avoided.

The point is don’t ever surrender or submit, even with a gun to your head, to leaving the premise in order to go to some other place. Your chances of survival are far greater if you run away while your perpetrator attempts to shoot you or to jump out of a moving vehicle if you find yourself already in the car with your attacker.

This happened to a young lady I met years ago who’d also taken the same self defense classes I had. Leaving the mall parking lot one evening she got into her car, ready to put the key in the ignition when she felt a knife against her throat from behind. He demanded she move to the passenger’s side while he jumped into the driver’s seat and sped away. Frightened, she somehow maintained her initial cool, but more importantly, she remembered Principle #3. Opening the door, she jumped out while the car was still moving. Though hospitalized with a few cuts and bruises, she is still alive today. Yes, leaping out of a moving vehicle may break bones, but submitting to the animal that has no intention of keeping you alive after he’s satisfied his primal urges, is playing with fire.

It may seem overwhelming to think that even you can learn and apply these three principals. First, you need to know that physical strength is secondary to overcoming the obstacles of self defense. If you become increasingly aware of your immediate surroundings while honing the necessary self-defense skills to ward off an attack, you will dramatically increase your chances of survival, and even if you are subdued, to determine now that you will never submit to your perpetrator’s attempt to take you to a secondary crime scene. Though it’s good to set realistic expectations when it comes to your personal self-defense, don’t let idleness keep you from doing nothing at all. Just make a commitment that you will start somewhere and follow through until your proficiency outweighs your feelings of inadequacy, fears and doubts.

© Copyrighted by Roxanne Griswold

© 2010, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.

image by Daizy B

I’ve always known that the SurvivalMom gene has been around for thousands of  years.  Mrs. Noah set a standard for us when she held her own in preparing for a catastrophic event and living in a boat for a year with hundreds of animals and her family.  We may think that stocking up on dozens of cans of soup and buckets of wheat is a new trend, but that’s hardly true!  Millions of other SurvivalMoms have set examples for us.

Today, as our family stopped by the Donner Memorial State Park, I was vividly reminded of the rich heritage that is ours.  I was a few minutes late for a nearly-antique video that told the story of western pioneers and the Donner party in particular.  I’d heard the story of the Donners before, but one anecdote caught my attention.

One of two families who survived the horrific ordeal was the Reed family.  Young Virginia Reed later wrote about her mother, Margaret, hiding bits of food over a period of time so her four children could enjoy a special Christmas dinner.  She lovingly combined a few beans, a bit of tripe, some bacon, and dried apples, and told her children that Christmas morning in 1846, “Today you can eat all you want.”  The family had been slowly starving to death, their father had gone to find help, and I can only imagine what am amazing meal that must have been.

Snow was piled twenty feet high outside their primitive cabin, their situation was dire, but in the middle of overwhelming fear and desperation, Margaret Reed thought of the one thing she could do to make her children smile.  Perhaps for just a few hours, the five of them forgot where they were and the death that surrounded them.  I’ll bet her children never forgot the moment, nor their mother’s love.

I cried when I heard the story of Margaret Reed’s Christmas dinner.  Isn’t it the perfect example of what being a SurvivalMom is all about?  At the end of the day, it isn’t about how much we have stored or knowing how to can, knit, and shoot a rifle.  It’s all about love.  In the midst of a crisis, when my kids look up at me and say, “Mom, are we going to be okay?”, I want to be able to say, “Yes.”  Isn’t that why you do what you do?  Being a SurvivalMom is about love, and we have the richest heritage of all.

© 2010, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.

Check out their variety of Mountain House and enjoy some very nice savings!

© 2010, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.

Imagine you’ve thought ahead and thrown a standard deck of cards into your Bug Out Bag.  You’re on your third or fourth day of an evacuation and CANNOT play another round of Go Fish, Old Maid, or War!!!!  Print and pack a list of other games that will provide a variety for you and your kids to enjoy.

image by joelogon

Activity Village is an excellent site that has several games suggestions, especially for younger children.

Suggested games:

1.  Beggar My Neighbor

2.  Memory

3.  Menagerie

4.  My Ship Sails

5.  Pig

6.  Rolling Stone

7.  Sevens (Yes, I had to put it here!)

8.  Sequence

9.  Slapjack

10. Snap

11. Snip Snap Snorem

12. Stealing Bundles

• Read the instructions.  All games require a standard deck of cards, but some require a second deck and a tablet and pencil for scorekeeping!  If you’re experienced SurvivalMom, the tablets and pencils should already be in your B.O.B., as per Lisa’s earlier lists.

© 2010, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.

image by flickrohit

We are a Levi-wearin’ family, no doubt about it.  It’s not unusual for the four of us to jump in the Tahoe wearing basically identical medium blue, boot-cut Levis.  Eventually, though, I end up with a pile of old jeans, ripped and worn out, that I’m not sure what to do with.  I just hate throwing them away; maybe it’s all that otherwise good fabric that seems a shame to just put in a dumpster.  I make cut-offs for the kids (and they are quite a sight among their fashion-conscious peers!), but otherwise, I don’t know what else to do with all these jeans.

So, today’s Survival Survey is mostly for my own selfish benefit.  Help me!  What do you do with old jeans?

© 2010, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.

image by Orin Zebest

• Make an evacuation plan for your home, hold a family meeting, and conduct a drill.
• Learn how to use a solar oven.
• Take a First Aid or CPR class.
• Take a basic firearm class or an advanced class if you already know the basics of shooting.
• Choose a family hobby that is preparedness oriented.
• Learn how to start a fire using three different techniques and three different types of tinder.
• Go through your monthly expenses line by line to see which expenses can either be eliminated or decreased.
• Find the shut-off valve for your home’s water and gas systems.
• Try a new variety of freeze dried food to see how your family likes it.
• Find seven new recipes that primarily use only the food in your storage pantry.
• Learn how to bake bread from scratch.
• Go camping.
• Start an herb garden and dehydrate your own herbs.
• Plant three vegetables that your family enjoys eating.
• Make a list of all the non-edible products used in your household in a typical week.
• Get your Concealed Carry permit.
• De-clutter one room in your house to make space for for your food and supply storage.
• Get an annual physical.
• Take a walk or go on a bike ride with your family.
• Make a family plan to gather everyone together In the event of an emergency that occurs while everyone is away from home.
• Buy $25 worth of “junk silver.”
• Plant a variety of medicinal herbs that are suited to your climate and will be helpful to your most frequent ailments.
• Read a preparedness related book.
• Find someone with a preparedness skill you’d like to learn and schedule time for a lesson or two. (e.g. fishing, carpentry, knitting)
• Write out a Family Evacuation Plan.
• Take a class to learn orienteering.
• Sign up for a local CERT class.
• If you have firearms and ammo, do an inventory of both to determine if you have too much of one and not enough of the other.

This post sponsored by Emergency Essentials.

© 2010, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.

Water

With the goal of storing two gallons per person per day, we have enough water for nearly three months.  Saving and cleaning those empty 2-liter soda bottles has really paid off!  For water purification, we have bleach, a Steripen, a WAPI, and packets of calcium hypochlorite, or pool shock.  For boiling or heating water, we have a Stove-Tec Rocket Stove, the Global Sun Oven, and a large gas grill.  GRADE:  A

Sanitation

I have 144 rolls of Costco toilet paper, approximately three months worth, as well as 14 4-packs of TP that I purchased with coupons.  We have one of those snap-on toilet seats, an extra bucket, 3 boxes of kitty litter, and 3 large boxes of heavy-duty trash bags.  Oh, add four shovels to the inventory and 15 bottles of hand sanitizer!    GRADE: B

Laundry

Still haven’t bought that Wonderwash!  (Yikes!)  However, I do have  18 bottles of laundry detergent.  GRADE:  C   I have clothespins but no clothesline, need to come up with a way to make my own softener.  My husband can’t stand to wear clothes that haven’t been dried with a dryer sheet. If I would have to wash and wring my clothes by hand, it would not be fun, so I need to work on this area a bit more.

Food storage

We have 15 buckets of wheat, mostly hard white.  I have an additional 25 pounds of white flour (with only a one year shelf life).  With the yeast, honey, dry milk, and salt, I have enough ingredients to make three loaves of bread a week for for months!  (I’m content with this vague figure.)  Between dehydrated, freeze dried, and grocery store food and staples, we have between four and five months worth.  We are always dipping into our stash, I believe rotation is the official term!, so I’m continually re-stocking and adding to what is there.  Our garden didn’t yield much this year, but we’ve learned from our mistakes, and I have a great selection of seeds from Be Prepared Now for a fall/winter garden.  Oh!  I do have all those white buckets and lids I got for free at the grocery store’s bakery.  If you haven’t asked around at restaurants and bakeries, you might get as lucky as I did.  GRADE:  A-  My pantry needs to be re-organized and I’ve gotten lazy keeping an inventory.  I’d also like to add another 30 full days worth of meals.

Knowledge and skills

This is a continual area of growth and improvement for me.  I’ve become quite the expert food dehydrator, and have just promised myself to start canning beans.  I have huge amounts of them in different varieties and have been concerned about their relatively short shelf life.  My husband and I are signed up for a two-day shooting class, and I’m hoping all that shooting practice will improve my aim!  My kids are taking riding lessons, we have a camping trip planned, and I’ve been experimenting with creating my own dehydrated meals and finding new survival-friendly recipes.   GRADE:  B-   There is still so much to learn

Tomorrow I’ll post my report card for our progress in being better prepared with our finances, shelter and security, building a preparedness-minded community, and physical and mental preparedness.  What does your report card look like?

© 2010, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.

Watch for a schedule of webinar classes coming up later this week!  You won’t need to live in the Phoenix area to come to a SurvivalMom class!

On Saturday, September 11, I’m offering a FREE class, “Ready for Anything: Putting together a customized vehicle emergency kit.”  Space is limited, so please register for this class ahead of time.  It starts at 9:30 sharp!

Note: The fee for my 90-minute classes is $15 per class or $25 for two classes.  The two classes do not have to be on the same date, and married couples attending together pay just $25.

Here’s my full schedule: (more dates may be added later)

Saturday, Sept. 11

9:30 – 10 a.m.  Ready for Anything: Putting together a customized vehicle emergency kit

10:30 – noon, All-Around Preparedness:  An overview of what it means to be prepared for an uncertain future.  This  includes water storage tips, simple food storage, helpful practical skills, financial preparedness, home and personal security, and a whole lot more.  $15, includes a 25-30 page class manual

1:30 – 3 p.m., The Top 10 Foods to Store:  Always a popular class.  Learn about ten specific food groups that are a must-have in your storage pantry.  See what your food storage is missing!  $15, includes a 25-30 page class manual

Wednesday, September 22

6:00 – 7:30 p.m.  Food Storage Basics:  This comprehensive class covers why, where, and how to set up an organized and personalized long-term food storage program.  $15, includes a 25-30 page class manual

Saturday, October 9

10:30 – noon, Cooking off the Grid:  Learn how to use a solar oven and the Stove-Tec Rocket Stove.  See how easy it is to go off-grid with your cooking!   $15, includes a 25-30 page class manual

1:30-3 p.m.,  Dehydrated Dinners:  You can make your own dehydrated meals following a few simple steps.  Avoid unwanted preservatives and chemicals while at the same time preparing family favorites.  $15, includes a 25-30 page class manual

Saturday, October 23

10:30 a.m. – noon,  All-Around Preparedness: An overview of what it means to be prepared for an uncertain future.  This  includes water storage tips, simple food storage, helpful practical skills, financial preparedness, home and personal security, and a whole lot more.  $15, includes a 25-30 page class manual

1:30 – 3 p.m.,  The Top 10 Foods to Store: Learn about ten specific food groups that are a must-have in your storage pantry. $15, includes a 25-30 page class manual

© 2010, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.

bugging out, image by Jagger

A common perception of Alaska is that it’s teeming with wildlife.  It is, but this group of people nearly starved to death over the course of 30 days or so because hunting down much more than a ground squirrel or a mouse was far more difficult than they ever anticipated.  In fact, a professional bear hunter was brought in, and in spite of three separate outings, even he could not help them bag a bear!  Incredibly, even basic fishing resulted in empty hooks week after week!  One character, a police officer, lost more than 20 pounds in less than three weeks.

Many preppers have the idea that they will just head to the hills and camp out in a National Park or National Forest and live off the land.  After all, the cities are going to be hell holes.  Right?  Well, if reality is anything like the experiences faced in “Out of the Wild”, maybe I’m better off taking my chances in the suburbs.  Very, very few of us have even the most basic survival skills, and as this TV series makes evident, daily survival becomes a 24-hour job.  All too often, hunters and fishermen come home empty handed.  If the larder is empty, starvation becomes more and more likely.

image by Sugar Pond

One book, Bug Out: The Complete Plan for Escaping a Catastrophic Disaster Before it’s Too Late was reviewed by Leon Pantenburg, and although Leon thinks the book is a good resource, he points out some advice given by the author, Scott B. Williams, that might not be the wisest course to take.

A great portion of the book lists public wilderness areas, and suggests parks, national forests and natural areas where you might get away from the crowds and off the beaten path. While applauding all attempts to be prepared for potential disasters, I am lukewarm, at best, about the concept of heading out into the wilderness to survive a catastrophe.

I’ve hunted, fished, backpacked and canoed in many of the areas Williams mentions, and I would caution: Beware. Just because you go to an isolated area with abundant fish and wildlife, that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to live off the land. Just because there is the potential for foraging, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to survive doing it.

I have hunted weeks in some of these recommended areas without getting a shot at a big game animal. And if you’ve never been skunked fishing, then you don’t get out on the water much.

Another caution about these suggested locations: If you read this book and decided to head for a published wilderness area, probably a lot of other people will, too. The traffic jams around some of these areas may be incredible!

Scott has an outstanding blog, Bug-Out Survival, so perhaps he elaborates a bit on when bugging out to the wilderness is the best course of action and when it isn’t.  I’ve learned a lot from his experiences.

Have you considered bugging out to the wilderness in a SHTF scenario?  I admit, the idea is tempting, but I fear the reality would be deadly.  What are your thoughts on this?

© 2010, thesurvivalmom. All rights reserved.

One thing is for certain. If you home-school long-term, you are going to eventually encounter a challenge that will make home-schooling more difficult.  I have been home-schooling for 20 years and have encountered a few of these challenges myself including a natural disaster, the sudden death of my brother (he was killed by a drunk driver in 1997), several moves, building a house, chronic illness, difficult pregnancies,  and the deaths of my niece and my father.

I think you get the picture.  

I remember after going through Hurricane Andrew in 1992, that some of my home-schooling friends put their kids in school and some, like myself, continued to home-school.  Now, I’m not here to judge anyone’s choice in this regard, but I do believe it is possible to successfully home-school, even when circumstances seem to be conspiring against it.  The key to dealing with the stresses of life’s challenges while continuing to home-school comes down, I believe, to implementing these two strategies:  

1.  Flexibility
2. Prioritizing

image by iandeth

Flexibility:  When life throws you a major curve, you may have to discard your beautifully laid-out plans for what your “school year” was supposed to look like.  You may even need to take a break for awhile.  There is nothing wrong with this, and it will make sense to you if you are taking a long view.  In other words, taking a break for a few days, or even a few weeks, is not likely to hinder your second-grader’s chances of getting in his or her college of choice. 

When my brother was killed in 1997, I was just getting ready to start up our school year.  At that time I had three children, two who were home-schooling.  My daughter was beginning 8^th grade, and my oldest son was beginning 4^th grade.  Within hours of getting the devastating news I was on a plane to my parents’ home, leaving my daughter to care for her younger brothers while my husband worked.  As it turned out, over the next 24 hours or so, she also did everyone’s laundry AND all the packing for her dad, herself, and her brothers for their trip to my parents’ home the next day.  (I did not find out that she had taken these responsibilities upon herself until several weeks later.  It was at that point that I began to realize that all the hard work and training of my children really was paying off.  My daughter was only 13 but managed with the grace and efficiency of many adults!)

During that next year (and for many years after) I was engulfed by grief.  I was also very concerned for my parents having to deal with the loss of their oldest son.  I took many trips to visit with my parents, by myself, for as much as a week at a time.  My daughter was old enough to do her school work on her own and even supervise her brother.  But if I had not been able to be flexible – to allow myself to be available to my parents (for instance) and to trust that what really needed to get done, would get done – I would have missed out on, not only the opportunity to be of comfort to my parents, but also the opportunity to see how my years of home-schooling were bearing fruit, especially in my daughter’s life. 

Prioritizing:  I’m always a little surprised when I hear home-schoolers saying they are overwhelmed with their day and they mention that one of the things on their “must-do” list is home-schooling.  Do they not realize that it is THEIR home-school?  But I remember a time when I felt like them.  It took a few life-changing events to teach me that my children could get a more-than-adequate education even if I cut back on the amount of work I required of them, for a time.  

For instance, I remember after going through Hurricane Andrew I put a lot of stress on myself feeling that I needed to keep up with a full curriculum with my daughter.  For several weeks after the storm we lived with family while we looked for a new place to live.  We found a damaged home that we were able to buy dirt cheap (“dirt cheap” was right within our budget!) but we had to live in it while we repaired it, which was a perfect recipe for stress.  On top of that my husband started his own business and then six months into the rebuilding process I became pregnant with our third child.  I was so ill that I spent virtually the first four months of my pregnancy in bed.  

That year or two after the hurricane was so incredibly stressful for me that I even began to question my decision to home-school.  Thankfully, my husband and I went to a small home-school conference about that time and I became re-motivated and re-energized to continue our home-school journey.  

When facing later challenges I finally came to the realization that there were really only three things that I needed to maintain in order to make sure my children’s education progressed.  I am referring to what is commonly known as the “three R’s” – reading, ‘riting, and ‘rithmetic .  

image by jimmiehomeschoolmom

When your children are young, if you will stick with a consistent math program, and a phonics/reading program, your child will be getting what they REALLY NEED.  If you have older children, they can certainly be doing the majority of their work independently, but even then, if you scale things back for a little while it won’t do them any harm, and it will help to alleviate stress for you and your children. 

Now I realize that in some states the regulations are more rigorous in terms of how many days/hours you are required to home-school, as well as what subjects need to be covered.  But I would contend that there are ways to give your children credit for work that does not require them sitting down with books for hours a day.  In addition, I am not advocating that you discontinue teaching other subjects -science and history, for example – indefinitely, only that you take a break for a time to allow yourself to adjust to the new challenges you are facing and how they may impact your family long-term. 

I do encourage you, if you live in a state that has stricter regulations concerning curriculum and other requirements, to contact your local and state home-school representatives to help you with ideas for complying with those regulations in a way that works best for your family.   

Finally, whether the challenge you are facing is the blessing of a new baby in the house, the tragedy of the loss of a loved one, or the stress of a move or some other life event, it is possible for your home-school to “survive” and even thrive, if you remember two things: be flexible and evaluate your priorities.  Having done those two things, make the appropriate adjustments.  You CAN meet life’s challenges AND continue to home-school as well.  And as you do so, your home-schooled children will be learning valuable life lessons that I believe no other educational model can provide.

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