Exhale.

Reaching over the passenger side seat, I grab my bags, phone, and sunglasses. Clasping the keys out from the ignition, I push open the car door and run toward the house. The key turns the lock of the garage door and I hear a quick, sharp click. Before the door is pushed open, I take one more breath.

Exhale.

My second shift begins.

Within moments, my head is swirling with an overload of stimuli and information.

Fractions, difficult geometry homework, (Wait, where is your brother, can’t he help you with this? Isn’t there a video we can pull up for you to watch??) and a new slew of vocabulary words await; there’s an upcoming event a child needs three things for, a social studies test on Friday, a medical form that needs to be signed, a consent form for an upcoming trip (I need to write all of these dates down!) and swim practice is in less than one hour. That’s right, during the very first part of this second shift, I have less than sixty minutes to get these kids to finish their homework, be fed a decent meal, and ready to swim like a fish, only to get back in the car and race across town before the night shift begins.

There’s not one second to waste. Every single second of my life seems to be accounted for. Every single second is bookmarked with a specific place, time, and function. Did you use the bathroom? Do you have your towel? Swim cap? Goggles? Did you grab your water? Did you finish your homework? How was your day at school??

Back in the car and flying across town, the only thing I can think of is the long list of to-do’s that patiently wait for me to get home. It’s what I call the night shift and sometimes, it feels like the longest shift. Dirty dishes, a load of laundry, the final checking of homework, assisting with baths, brushing of hair and teeth, bedtime reading, a few snuggles, and the list goes on.

But don’t worry, we get to do this fun again tomorrow.

Lately, motherhood feels like one big race, a race to the finish line. But for what? Where am I racing to? Where am I going? Why am I always rushing? And exactly what is at this finish line? A carrot? Ice-cream? A special award?

I tried the old, “Life is a not a destination, it’s a journey. Enjoy the journey.” But the only thing I am enjoying these days are the minuscule moments I cling onto that lend me some peace and quiet among the craziness. At this point, I am running on fumes.

I’m tired.

I’m spinning on the hamster wheel with no end in sight. It’s like being on a moving train and I missed my stop. So I keep riding, staring out the window, watching the world pass me by. 

Where is my stop? When does all of this calm down? When does any of this get any easier?

The short answer is, it doesn’t.

Each stage of motherhood presents its own set of challenges and recently, the biggest challenge for me is time. I don’t need more of it, because I’m certain that if I was given more time, it would fill up quickly. Someone would have a dentist appointment, someone would require a volunteer effort, someone would need another piece of me, trust me, it would be filled. So if more time isn’t the solution to this madness, then what is?

I found my answer a few weeks ago when I was in the car with my daughter riding home from swim practice…

“Mommy?”

“What’s up sweetie?”

“Can we stop at the ocean? I want to sit on the bench and watch the waves with you.”

I grasped the steering wheel and felt a pang in my stomach. Stop at the ocean? But how could we? Every second is accounted for! Didn’t she understand that dirty dishes await? I mean homework hasn’t been checked yet! And a load of laundry needs to be started. And my son needs help with that science project.

Baths, reading, and so many other to-do’s quickly begin to flood my brain and haunt me. Any other day I would have said no but the hamster wheel is killing me. And so is the checklist and the race to the finish line.

I’m exhausted, burnt out, and I miss my kids.

I miss spending quality time together. I don’t want to stay on the train just to look out the window. I want to get off at the next stop – any stop – and take in the sights. I want life to slow down so I can enjoy these precious moments because I feel like it’s all passing me by.

I looked at her in the rear view mirror and with a confident smile I said, “Sure we can sweetie, that’s a great idea.”

Without further hesitation, I pulled up to the stop sign and put my blinker on. I turned the car left and we drove two blocks up to the ocean. My daughter and I got out of the car slowly, looked at one another, smiled, and grabbed hands. Crossing the road, we took off our flip flops and felt the sand settle in beneath our toes.

It was glorious.

We walked up to the top of the dune and took in the sights. It was breathtaking.

Exhale.

The dishes can wait. The laundry can be done tomorrow. The homework can be checked later. If we miss swim next practice next time, that’s ok because these are the moments that need to be accounted for.

These are the moments that should overload my brain.

I’m getting off the train and taking in the sights.

It’s about time.

For a moment, I am awestruck.  I watch her move seamlessly through the ocean water, her surfboard tucked tightly beneath her arm. She is confident with each and every movement made. Purposeful. She is undoubtedly on a mission.

She trudges through the ocean floor and dodges the rough, crashing surf without hesitation. From afar, it is easy to spot her out to sea with her bright orange surfboard moving through the air, popping in and out of the waves like a small fishing bobber.

I continue to watch as this woman rides a colossal wave all the way to shore. As the water recedes, she steps off of her board, stands up and wraps the dark strap around her wrist. Her white, wet hair glistens in the sunlight and her bright smile glances over at the lifeguards as she gives them a “thumbs up.” She slowly turns toward the water, tucks the orange board beneath her arm and heads back out to sea. She repeats this process, each and every time smiling, laughing, and giving a thumbs up to anyone who watches her ride the waves. This woman is having the time of her life and it isn’t until she gets completely out of the water and onto the beach that I am able to see her close up.

This woman is no young girl. This woman is easily approaching eighty years-old.

Eighty years-old.

Here’s a woman, who, at her age is surfing in the ocean like she were a teenager. I am captivated by her audacity, spontaneity, and exuberance. Enjoying the ocean is obviously a passion for her and she doesn’t allow her age to dictate what she can or cannot do.

I started thinking to myself and wondering, hoping I live to see that age.

I hope I will be fit enough at that point in my life to have the ability to hop on a surf board and ride the waves, carefree.

I hope I walk this earth with the same spunk and confidence this woman clearly exudes.

I begin to think this woman has it all until I watch her wrap herself in a towel and sit in a beach chair, alone. She is staring out at the sea, taking in the scenery. A few moments later, another older couple joins her but there are no children or grandchildren to be found. Maybe her husband passed away. Maybe she’s divorced. Maybe she never married or had kids. Maybe her kids live in another state and she doesn’t see them often. Maybe this is the way she had planned her life at near 80. Or maybe she had her whole life planned at a young age and that plan didn’t turn out the way she had hoped…

I am a planner.

I have the next ten years planned, or at least I think I do. But watching this woman on the beach made me realize, although we may have the best intentions, nothing in life will always go as planned.

I have witnessed countless colleagues and friends who didn’t plan on some of the ways their lives took shape; one who suffered a stroke and was never the same wife, mother, or friend again.

Or a colleague who worked her whole life planning for retirement only come to find out shortly after she retired, her husband died. She spent her golden years alone.

Or the friend with three kids who lost her husband to cancer at 46.

Or the loved one who lost everything to addiction.

So this begs to ask the question – am I truly living my best life? Am I living each and every day with true intention? Regardless of the plans I make or the plans I keep secret, am I caught up in the actual plan itself or trying to make it happen instead of really living?

I want to continue reading and writing. Over the past year, I’ve read tons and tons of books. I am devouring the written word and it makes me so happy. I’ve slipped under the radar of social media which does not have a huge place in my life anymore. Instead, books and experiences do. Books and life experience have replaced the endless swipe of nonsense on my phone that would suck hours of my life away. Granted, there is a time and place for social but now it only consumes a fraction of my life and I am in total control. It’s absolutely liberating.

I want to travel more. I want my kids to learn about places we’ve never seen which we can explore, together.

I want to try new gluten-free foods.

I want experiences, real life experiences that move me.

I want to make conscious decisions with purpose. I want meaning in my life.

I want to make special memories with the people I love that will last forever.

I want cherished time with my husband, family, and close friends.

I want to step out of my comfort zone.

I want to push myself and continue to challenge myself.

I want to be an amazing wife and mom.

I want to be an effective educator.

I want to be inspired and I want to inspire others.

I want to ride waves on a bright orange surfboard at eighty years-old. Will it happen even though I’m planning on it? I don’t know. I know it’s what I want. I suppose that’s the only thing I know for sure.

What can I teach my daughter in all of this?

Be confident, my girl. Move through the water and this life with clear intent and purpose. Make every action and moment count. Work hard for what you want and in the end….

Get out there and ride the wave, my girl.

Looking for a one-stop shop to secure that unique holiday card design and treasured keepsake gifts for loved ones on your list? Meet The Stationery Studio.

Renee Redman began The Stationery Studio over twenty years ago, fulfilling her dream of running her own business. Within three years of starting the company, Renee’s client base was growing so rapidly it was time to make another move so along with the help of her husband, this busy mom of two decided to develop a website and launch a one-stop shop for unique and personalized gifts. It didn’t take long before The Stationery Studio became acknowledged as a premier personalized stationery business in the country. Since then, each year the site continues to grow and accommodate the needs of the marketplace.

The Stationary Studio really is your one stop shop for your holiday shopping this season, offering gifts any host or hostess would love! Not sure where to start with all of this fabulousness? Check out The Top 10 Holiday Gift Picks and here are some other favorites:

Sweet Season’s Greeting Ornament

Customized Notes Ensemble

Maple Artisan Cutting Board

Multi Scripty Monogram Notepad Collection

The brand believes in “celebrating life’s best moments with personalized gifts for all occasions.” With a support team in place offering exceptional customer service and support, The Stationery Studio is your go-to destination for all things unique and personalized gifts.

This season, I chose the Perfect Present Holiday Card since I adored the cheery, bright colors and exclusive design. This card provides room for four full photos and enough text to customize the message.

I was also given font style and size choices. And the best part? A member of The Stationary Studio’s design team ensures the proper placement of your photos and text, providing a link to view the proof of your card before it goes to print. Uploading images was a snap and the customer service was excellent. The cards arrived packaged neatly in a beautiful box – I couldn’t wait to open the box to see the actual cards with the design I chose.

At The Stationary Studio, there is a card for any theme you are looking for and enough custom choices to make the card your very own. From selecting the number of photos, to the size of the text, you have the ability to customize each and every design to fit your needs – you’ll have a hard time choosing one favorite!

The Stationary Studio has been nationally recognized (including mentions) on The TODAY show, Martha Stewart weddings, HGTV magazine, “O” The Oprah Magazine, In Style, Real Simple, and other various media outlets and publications. For exclusive savings, be sure to check out their promo page for current offers. Follow the brand on social to stay updated on the latest product information and inspiration: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and the Blog.

Wishing you all a healthy and happy holiday season!

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. The Stationery Studio provided a holiday card design and custom printed cards to facilitate this review. However, all opinions expressed are my own and the content of this post was not influenced. 

So, my mom wrote a note.

In fact, she wrote a note to every teacher I had in middle school and by the time I got to high school, I managed to sneak in the bathroom between classes – it somehow seemed easier to hide it that way. When I was in college, it was more of the same. I didn’t need my mom to write my professors a note, but I was still learning how to survive with my atomic stomach.

I saw numerous physicians over the course of several years and I was constantly told time and time again that I had a combination of two things: IBS better known as “Irritable Bowel Syndrome” and I suffered from “nerves.” In my mind, this was a gently way of saying I was always teetering on the brink of a breakdown and my stomach aches were a manifestation of that. Nice.

However, the IBS seemed to occur more and more from the different combinations of foods I was eating at a particular time, or so that’s what I was lead to believe. For example, my stomach couldn’t bear to withstand a pasta dish covered in globs of red sauce followed by a cup of coffee or ice-cream. Sometimes I found out the hard way, like the time I ate pancakes stuffed with warm apples on an airplane. Yeah, that didn’t go over too well.

Over time, I learned the different foods I knew I couldn’t eat together since my body couldn’t digest it properly, or so I was told, and although my symptoms would go away from time to time, I was still in the bathroom more than I care to admit.

During my college graduation, one of the most exciting times in my life – I wasn’t stressing about my hair or what I was going to wear that day, I was stressing over the idea that a bathroom would not be close. What will I do if I have to go? We’ll be in the middle of the football field, in front of thousands of people, what will I doooooo?

Well, I stood up during the middle of a compelling speech (you know, the kind of speech where you could hear a pin drop in a stadium filled by thousands) and kindly asked each graduate sitting in my row to excuse me as I quickly trampled over their feet trying to reach the end of the row. I then trekked across the entire length of the football field in the blazing sun to beg a security officer to open the bathroom for me.

I missed a huge part of my college graduation because I was in the bathroom. I feel like I missed out on a lot of things – because I was always in the bathroom.

Directly out of college, I started teaching full-time so you would think by now I would have this stomach thing all straightened out. But again, I heard more of the same. Stay away from dairy products after a heavy meal, especially anything acidic such as red sauce. Don’t drink coffee on an empty stomach. Blah blah blah.

Fast forward nearly 17 years later and I was still living with my atomic stomach. But this time, it was different.

About two months ago, I had an important meeting scheduled for 9am. About 8am, atomic stomach showed up right on schedule. I was in and out of the bathroom for roughly twenty minutes. At 8:45am, I needed to go back in one more time before the meeting and the bathroom was out of service – the cleaning ladies were in.

And then the fear struck me – just as it always has for all of these years. What will I doooooo? What am I supposed to say, “Ummmm, excuse me, I know we just started the meeting, but I need to leave and use the bathroom.”

At that very moment, staring down the corridor to witness the bathroom out of service and knowing atomic stomach could erupt at any moment was more than I could handle.

I had enough.

This just can’t be IBS. It can’t be nerves. There’s GOT to be something more to this.

So, I made an appointment with a specialist and after several weeks of pretty invasive testing, my doctor sat me down. For the first time in twenty-five years, the mystery was solved.

My doctor told me I have Celiac Disease. And I cried – not out of discomfort, or worry, or nerves – but I cried in relief.

For the first time in over two decades, someone finally got it right. And ever since, I’ve been reading and learning everything I can about gluten, what gluten does to my body, why I need to rid gluten from my diet, and how to live a gluten-free life.

I’m not going to get all technical on you and I don’t have plans on posting g-free recipes or begin a g-free blog. So you’re probably wondering why I even wrote this post.

I shared this because everyone has a story. And this is my story.

You may not suffer from atomic stomach like I have (in fact, you might not suffer at all) but you may have a gluten sensitivity. Or you may know someone with the disease who can relate this post. If only one person connected to this post, I’m glad to have shared my story.

I want to learn as much as I can about this disease, especially because I’m living with it. The problem is, we’re not doing enough about it in this country. Dr. Peter Green, Professor of Clinical Medicine and The Director of the Celiac Disease Center at Columbia University, says that only 5% of those living with the disease are diagnosed in America. In countries such as Finland, Italy, and Ireland, that percentage is much greater, since those countries have a great awareness about the disease.

Why aren’t we receiving this diagnosis in United States? Mainly because the pharmaceutical industry hasn’t supported medical research or education about this disease. Why? The simple answer – because they can’t make money off of it. There’s no therapy, pill, or costly remedy to fix this disease. The only thing you have to do is remove gluten from your diet!

I am not a doctor, but if you know in your gut something just isn’t right, go get checked and request blood tests that actually test for this disease. Educate yourself and try to find the cause of what’s giving you pain. Don’t wait twenty-five years like I did to accept prior diagnoses that simply are not true.

I hope in time, we begin to spread awareness about this disease in the United States since it affects so many people who don’t even know they have it.

I was one of them, until now.

Everyone has a story – what’s yours?

Are you an organizational freak like me? Do you love opening a crisp, brand new planner and get totally excited filling in important dates and appointments? Or maybe you are not the best organizer but you are on a quest to live a more organized life? Well, we’re looking for you!

momAgenda® is accepting applications now through the end of the month. For compensation information, full details about this program, and the benefits of being a momAgenda® Brand Ambassador, be sure to check out the momAgenda website. Please help us spread the word on social media and tag any of your updates, posts, and photos with #momAgendaCOMM

Sample post or tweet: Have you heard? @momAgenda is seeking Brand Ambassadors! Details and application: http://www.momagenda.com/council-of-media-moms-application #momAgendaCOMM

Thanks for your support – we look forward to connecting with you!

He is a whiz when it comes to Minecraft and he loves cloud computing; when he has difficulty with something, he asks me if there’s an app for that. His nightly homework features structural analysis and math requires performing a partial sums algorithm. What?

We’re at the lovely parenting stage where he begins to question my parenting. “Well, so-and-so had Instagram since second grade and so-and-so has seen THAT movie. Why can’t I?” Because I’m your mother and I said no. The end. But next week, it will be something new – the part where parenthood requires more conversation and explanation; the part that means there are going to be many tough days ahead and my kids may not always agree with me. They will constantly share notes with their friends and see what they can get away with – and it’s my job to stay true to my convictions regardless of what the majority is doing. Motherhood is not one size fits all, remember?

My daughter is coming home with stories about some of the other kids – and some of the mean things they say. Mean girls – it doesn’t start it high school people, it begins in first grade. First grade. My daughter is also growing up in a digital world and doesn’t know anything different. She is accustomed to instant gratification and this is one aspect I wish I could change but have very little control over.

A decade of motherhood also requires more “grown-up” stuff. When we first had babies, buying a new car and purchasing a home were the big grown-up ticket items. My world consisted of numerous trips to Home Depot and glamorous Saturday nights were spent shopping at Bed Bath and Beyond. Now, our grown-up stuff consists of beneficiaries, life insurance, living wills, and saving for college. That’s right – our son will be off to college in a mere eight years which in parenthood time is like, tomorrow.

My Dad turns 70 this year, my husband turns 40 and I am quickly close behind him; our parents have aged and we’ve noticed little things that we didn’t see even five years ago. They walk a little slower, they awake with new aches and pains and they always seem to have a doctor’s appointment. They are no longer chasing grandbabies and babysitting every weekend; their oldest granddaughter is headed to college in one year and their youngest is my youngest – 6 going on 16. There are no lullabies to sing at night, no more walks in the park, or races on the beach. They are losing their hair and sometimes don’t remember what you told them yesterday. Everything changes.

I never thought of my parents getting older, even though I knew it would happen. But now, they are resembling more and more like my own grandparents, and that to me is scary.

When the pizza delivery boy shows up at my house, I’m almost old enough to be his mom; I have tons of laugh wrinkles on my face and crows feet around my eyes when I smile. My hair is thinning and my husband is greyer than ever before and I often wonder, how did we get here?

A decade of parenting.

When I started this blog six years ago, I was in the trenches of new motherhood. I had an infant baby girl and a little toddler boy. Somehow, my world seemed less complicated than it does now. In addition to raising kids, I am contending with that grown-up stuff and trying to stop the ever-so-quickly aging process.

As I approach my birthday next month, I am going to hold onto my thirties as long as I can.

Because a decade of motherhood – and everything changes.

Still looking for that perfect, unique holiday card for your family? Shop Minted and be inspired. For a full review and more details, see my recent post about Minted.

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. I was provided Minted credit to review the product and service. However, all opinions expressed are my own and the content of this post was not influenced. 

Wondering what to get your kids this holiday season? Consider the gift of books. My kids are avid readers and love reading National Geographic at school, so you can imagine their excitement when they receive Animal Stories and 5,000 Awesome Facts (About Everything) 2 this holiday.

These books are packed with fantastic stories and “fun facts” that always seem to have the kids gasping! “Mom, can you believe that…” is typically what I hear when they are enjoying a book by National Geographic.

Now through January, you can also enjoy a discounted savings of 15% OFF any order sitewide at the National Geographic Store using the code MR21092 at checkout.  See below for full details:

Offer expires 1/31/15 at 11:59 p.m. PT and can be modified or canceled at any time. Offer excludes donations, digital products, magazines, Geographic kits, Cafe Press merchandise, 10th Edition of the National Geographic Atlas of the World, Around the World in 125 Years 3-volume Collector’s Edition book from TASCHEN, and Weekend Photo Workshops. Discount cannot be combined with other offers; not valid on previous orders. Applicable for online orders only. Prices not valid in the National Geographic UK Online Store or Road Less Traveled Store.

Also, if your child’s teacher has a classroom pet, National Geographic Education is also running a fun Facebook promotion called “Teacher’s Pet” now through December 31st. Teachers can share about the pet in their classroom and receive a coupon worth 20% OFF any National Geographic purchase at PetSmart stores! Select photos will be shared via the NG Education Team’s Facebook page. For full details, visit here.

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. I was provided product as part of the National Geographic Kids Insider Brand Ambassador program. However, all opinions expressed are my own and the content of this post was not influenced. 

My daughter recently came off the bus telling me that she saw the “big red truck” at school. She was excited to tell me everything that she learned about fire safety and it wasn’t long before my son came through the door sharing a similar event at school. It’s fire safety week – so what better time than now to talk to your kids about fire safety? Well, there is a FREE app that gets your kids in on the action of learning even more about fire safety at home on their handheld device!

Meet Sparky the Fire Dog: The Case of the Missing Smoke Alarms – where fire safety connects kids to learning! You can download the FREE app directly onto your smartphone, tablet, or other device. (The app is available for iOS and Android.) I placed the app on my iphone and we downloaded it for my son on his Android tablet.

The app is both an educational story and a game with simple and cute graphics. We read the story first. The best part is not only the content (teaching children some of the real dangers about fire and how to protect themselves) but it’s fully animated and interactive. There are many graphics to touch throughout the story that keeps their attention. Before turning each page, my son wanted to see what would happen if he touched various graphics; sometimes the story required him to respond by touching certain things and there were also some fun extras built into the app that moved or made noise which he seemed to love! He couldn’t wait to place the missing fire alarm in each room onto the right spot to hear it beep!

He also really enjoyed the interactive nature of the story. And it’s perfect for emerging readers as well. The words are highlighted as they are read aloud, so any child can enjoy listening and watching the story without having to read at a particular level – they don’t have to be able to read it on their own to have some fun with it.

The app also comes with a game component which my son enjoyed equally as much. Again, this app is very engaging for children and holds their interest. It’s a wonderful way to introduce your kids to some important tips, especially during fire safety week!

Be sure to download the FREE app here and get your kids exploring with Sparky the Fire Dog and have some fun learning all about fire safety!

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. I was compensated for review of the Sparky Fire Dog app. However, all opinions expressed are my own and the content of this post was not influenced. 

The same goes for invitations and holiday cards. There’s something very special about receiving a piece of mail and holding the invite or card in your hands. Are you looking for a site that provides a quality product, great service, and wonderfully unique designs?

Meet Minted – a thriving community of talented designers who are creating beautiful customizable products, making minted.com the world’s premier marketplace for independent design.

The company was founded by Mariam Naficy in 2007 when she was prompted by the idea of creating a community where talented designers would be able to bring their very own designs to the marketplace – a space where artists and designers could express their vision, gain exposure, receive feedback and actually be given the chance to sell their designs. After developing a business plan, collaborating with a partner and receiving funding from multiple investors, Minted was born.

“The Minted Manifesto: Allow the best designs to surface based on community interaction and not based on where a designer was educated, what type of capital or connections they have, or anything besides the pure quality of a design as judged by the community. We think this is the future of retail.”

Many think of Minted like the “Facebook” for designers. It truly is a leading space for designers to connect with one another and showcase their work. And the best part? Consumers get to choose from high quality designs that you will not see anywhere else and in the process, support talented artists and their work. It’s a total win/win.

“Our purpose in life is to uncover exceptional design from all over the world and bring this to savvy consumers who won’t accept anything else.”—Minted.com

Minted has everything from birth announcements, wedding invitations, to a fabulous array of birthday and holiday cards. You’ll find something for absolutely any occasion. And since we are smack in the midst of the back-to-school season, the company also offers stationary, notes, thank you cards and more – the perfect excuse to get your kids to write!

You can shop for unique, personalized Wall Art:

Or start off the school year with Personalized Stationary specifically designed for teachers:

Browse through the endless assortment of beautiful Birth Announcements and Holiday Photo Cards which also top my list.

I’m looking forward to surprising my family and friends this year with a unique design, one I’ll only find at Minted. Shop the full collection and gear up for back-to-school now! Be sure to follow Minted on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest to stay updated on the latest news, deals, and inspiration.

Still want to learn more about Minted? Check out this short video that highlights some of the designers featured on the site.

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. I was provided Minted credit to review the product and service. However, all opinions expressed are my own and the content of this post was not influenced.