The True Urban Queen

The Bronze

2011-05-21T18:52:00.004-04:00

Well, today my son and his classmates had the ballroom dance finals. They came in bronze. I knew they would place in the bronze when we all arrived at the school and 3 of the dancers didn't show (2 males and 1 female).

I really am proud of all the children who did show, they really tried to fill in for the others plus, do their parts.

When my son and his classmates stepped forward to accept their medals, I yelled (during a moment of quiet), "Timothy, I love you baby!" Which made everyone turn to look at me.

Afterwards, he was like, "Why did you scream that?" Me: HAHAHA. "It's a mother's job to embarrass her child. Anyway, I was proud and I do love you boy."

A few of his classmates were a little sad but, he was so proud of his bronze medal he wore it all the home for all to see.

I realized when we got home, I didn't take any pictures of just him. They are either of him and his dance partner or of the entire group. I didn't want to post a picture of anyone's child here (I know some parents don't want pictures of their children posted all over the Internet) so, that is why I cropped the one above.

That's my little man!

A Month of Rambling

2011-05-10T14:06:00.003-04:00

It has been a month since I have updated my personal blog :(

Let's see . . .Part 1

First thing, my son was looking through my cellphone when he says to me, "You have 500 pictures in your phone." I look at him puzzled because the only pictures I take with my phone are the contact ones. A photo (if possible) to go with the number. Well, it turns out that the blogger Picasa photo album shows up on my phone. Who knew and why didn't you share that with me.
So, I had to go on Picasa and delete all the photos except for a few I forgot I took and wanted to keep. Also, I now know that I need to be very careful what photos I use here or I will have to spend a few minutes deleting them from my phone.
Speaking of photos . .
I was going to use a photo from Mother's Day with this post. . . my children and I participated in the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure . . . but the one photo I have us all three of us, I look horrid.
Speaking of horrid . . .
I am going crazy because of stink bugs. For those of you who don't have the problem . . whoop de do for you. My city has been invaded by them. I hate these damn bugs (looks at one crawling up wall). I can't keep them the hell out of my house. They can have outside . . . just stay out of my house!
Speaking of house. . .
My house is falling apart and I am too broke to fix it.

Now begins . . . Part 2
How is my year going so far? It has been a high followed by two lows before the next high. I have been allowing depression and fear to steal my dreams and put a hold on my plans. That is not good at all when all you got is your dreams. I am working it out and have put myself in a position that is now do or die. Hopefully, I do so me and mine survive. The funny thing is that even though I am single and celibate neither of those things have been a hindrance just let's me focus on what I need to do.
So, if being single is not part of the low why does it still factor in my lows? It's because I am not seeking a new relationship but sometimes still get down over one lost. But I . . . for the most part. . . am past it. Being single and sex free has given me time to concentrate on me. Yes, I am learning all about me and I really like me. My past no longer controls my future.
I a few days I plan on posting about my single, non-dating, sex-free life and those who would like to change it from being so.

Lastly . . .Part 3

My son recently turned 11. Both my babies are getting big. He has his ballroom dancing finals this month.
Let me tell you the story about my daughter. My daughter is 15. So, we were in Toys R' US so my son could get new Lego sets. He loves those things. Well, my daughter was telling me about this doll (La La Loopsy) that she wanted. She finds one and I tell her I am not buying her a $25 dollar doll she is too old to play with. Me: Is La La Loopsy going to buy you some clothes? Blah blah blah. Anyway, she starts tearing up. Like she was about ready to cry. Now, I knew she really wanted that thing because she normal just puts something I fuss about back and keeps moving. So, I brought her the doll which is sitting nicely on her bed with her stuffed dog. She has had the stuffed dog since she was 1. Her love for that stuffed dog is serious.

Well, that is it for now.

Tattoo and Michael Jackson

2011-04-09T11:19:00.007-04:00

If you are my friend on Facebook or follow me on Twitter you probably have already hear that I got my first tattoo this week.

Of course, here on the blog, I have a whole story to share with you guys. I have been saying for years that I wanted to get a tattoo. I just could not decide what I wanted on my body, because a tattoo is permanent. I didn't want to get something that later on I would wish I could erase. Well, suffice to say I finally had something I wanted on my body but for the last few years I did not act on it.
Then. . .my sister went and got a tattoo. I was so upset. . .why???? Because I wanted to get one first. She had a tattoo put on her arm in honor of our father who had died a few years ago.

That was it I knew I was going to get a tattoo. I had already chosen my personal logo, now it was a matter of where was I going to put it on my body. I decided on my right shoulder. I meant for it to be exactly on my shoulder. I went to the shop at 12:30pm to show the guy my picture, he asked me when did I want to get it. I was like today. I know the guy who owns the shop and had asked him about doing my first tattoo earlier but, he was surprised that I meant that day. He told me to let him sketch it out and I could come back and look at it. I said I be bake at 4:30 to get it done. I trusted he would get the sketch right.

So, at 4:15 (I arrived early . . . the excitement) I was looking at the sketch and after signing the paper, I was getting my first tattoo at 4:30.

That stuff hurts. I didn't make moaning noises or make him stop and give me a few moments (he told me I I needed to let him know), I just laid my head against the back off the chair and clutched my hands in my lap. And all the while he was attacking my skin with his needles of pain, I thought about animals being abused and how I wanted to save them all.

Finally, he was finished and I had this:

1. I have lots of moles on my back.(They seem to spreading all over my body, too. I need to look into that).
2. It is a lot bigger than just on my shoulder blade. There was no other way to do it and get all the detail. I really didn't realize how big I got it or that it was such a big deal until people saw it and were like . . Dag, girl. It seems many people who get their first tattoo start with small ones. As skoolboikrush tweeted me: " Damn, you went hard in the paint. That's nice. Go hard or go home." That was my attitude if I am going to put one on my body it is going to count.
3. The colors have darkened since I took this on Thursday (the day I got it done). So, it looks even better.
4. Brian is an amazing artist.

So, Friday evening me and my children played our favorite Wii game, Michael Jackson Experience. Okay Okay, it is my favorite game. The only thing that I wish is that they had given us more of his songs to dance too. I got mine from Game Stop but, I see that if I had gone to Walmart, I would have gotten 4 extra songs. If any one knows what they are let me know, I may have to get that version.

I decide to put up some video of me getting my Thriller on.
Let me say a few things first:

1. I am wearing the same shirt I wore in the pictures from Thursday. I am still wearing this same shirt Saturday as I type this. Guess what? I will be wearing it tomorrow on Sunday, as I lay around watching the Liz Taylor movie marathon. I am allowing my tattoo to breath all weekend. I have other backless shirts by why dirty them all. I take a bath and put this shirt back on. Don't judge me.

Anyway, I once held the high score for Thriller in my house.

Then my daughter came along and beat it last night by 600 points. She was like take a picture and post that. I refused to, I was very salty and plan on regaining my crown this evening.

Anyway, here is some video . . .my daughter forgot she was filming me for the first minute and a half so, I am off to the side. This video is tame because usually I am always over moving. Matter-of-fact, I did it twice and video tape it twice and the second video was better but, my shirt slipped down and my back rolls were showing. HAHA. I no post that.

Events and Supplies

2011-04-02T11:48:00.012-04:00

I have decided that Saturday will be the day I update this blog. On Saturday, I will share my thoughts and happenings from the week. This is the best way to fit it in my schedule.

This week's Saturday post will be some what long since, I haven't updated in a few weeks.

****
I am just about halfway through with my event planning class. *claps happily*

In class we are doing a project where we were separated in class into groups and we have to plan a mock event. Not wanting to do weddings, which other groups are doing, I suggested a women's networking event to my group. So, earlier this week we were sitting in our groups working when one of my classmates brought up that she is trying to get a job in the plant and flower conservatory in the city (they throw lavish events . . Obama had a dinner there).
I was busy making suggestions to the one girl (who first brought up the conservatory) ways I thought she could get her foot in the door there . . .like volunteering to help for other events there... when the other girl made some smart remark about "folding t-shirts".
I was like, maybe but at least you get in the door and can strike up conversation with people who are in charge.
Then, I began to realize something. Competition.
The other classmate in my group is trying to get that position too. Then, it turns out they are both trying to get a few of the same positions in other places.
To which one told the other, "I guess our resumes will be on the same desks" (I thought the way she said it sounded rather snarky).
I could only giggle inside because, I don't want any of those positions so, watching and listening to all of this was quite comical.

Another assignment (due this week), is a bowl decorated with what we would like most to do with our certificate. Let me better explain. Our teacher gave us small glass bowls. Inside the bowls we are to fill them with items that represent our ideal event. So, if I wanted to be a wedding planner . . . I would use items to represent a wedding.
Well, my main interest and reason why I am taking the class is for my business. I wanted to throw my own events and when the company grows and I hire others to do it, I still want to be knowledgeable about what it takes to have successful events.
Right now, my bowl looks like this:

For my presentation, I am going to tell my classmates, that QinH,LLC has various aspects/brands/blah blah blah. One of the brands is Queen in Heels. The first two events will be under Queen in Heels (I am currently planning the events, more to come about this in another post).
The purple glitter represents the color of the Company and the brand. Plus, the glitter is because I do everything fabulous (I got a big ego).
The heel represents . . Queen in Heels, the tag-line for the events *this is a high heel event* on the ads, and me.
The red ribbon is because, HIV/AIDS Awareness is the cause for these events and if you ever read Queen in Heels . . the site too.
My first two events are related, in two different cities and the main theme is women networking, I have to find a way to incorporate all this in the bowl, though I like it the way it is. I hate clutter.

****

I have become an extreme couponer. Well, not extreme but, I am close. I recently went to Rite Aid and got $79 of items (brand name) for $23.
I am so proud of myself.

But, I think that even though I spend less I buy more which I am sure is not good. Anyway, I looking through my supply closets when my daughter was like, "Mommy really, do we really need more toilet paper?"
Me: "You planning to quit wiping your behind?"

52 rolls doesn't seem like enough to me. Toilet paper is used, in this house, everyday by three people at least 3 to 4 times (by each) a day.
I believe that there are certain items you should have an abundance of in the house. Toilet paper, maxi pads (2 females), soap, detergent, and dish liquid. Those items you are always going to need plenty of.

I'll spare you all the pictures I took of detergent and cleaning supplies.
I will admit having 6 deodorants just for myself (there are 2 in my room and the children use different brands but they are stocked too) is a bit much but, they were buy one get one half off and I had $2 off coupons.
But, can you see how my supplies are getting low?
I will be grabbing some more maxi-pads/tampons. Hey, I got 4 $2 off coupons and they are on sale buy one get one half off. Oh, and I got $3 of Venus razors coupon. Then, there are my store perks for shopping that I will be deducting. Winning.

I also have a reason behind my madness. I am hoping that by stocking up and by paying extra on bills it will help me when I am down to $1 until my next pay. And working for myself, who knows when that will come.

Besos

2011-03-06T07:12:00.005-05:00

How is everyone? It has been so long. Too long. As always, I am sorry I have been neglecting my blog duties here. Posting, visiting others, and commenting. I am going to catch up on all of yours spots after I type this.

I have been busy trying to get QinH,LLC together. I also, have been busy with the Queen in Heels brand (the first of a few under QinH,LLC).

I hope to dedicate two hours a week to this blog and your blogs real soon.

Anyway, I am going to keep this post short and sweet. I want everyone to do me a favor and show some love to fellow blogger Kelley of The Words I Type. She wrote an amazing piece for me over at Queen in Heels.

Read it over and show her some love. Thanks Kelley. Thanks everyone for reading.

Why I Love Being a Woman

Life Thoughts

2011-01-25T13:32:00.004-05:00

(I stole the above quotes from Tumblr)

This is the song I want sang at my funeral. Which means I need to follow my dreams and live my life to the fullest.

Certified and Other Things

2011-01-17T11:39:00.004-05:00

Hey, everybody. I have some of the best blogging buddies. I got kind emails, phone calls, and comments. That is why I ♥ y'all. Hugs and Kisses.

Oh, one quick thing, those new to my spot. I am intelligent. I just don't read over what I post so, mistakes and all get published. Yes, there is some neck rolling going on with this statement.

I am actually feeling super better. Yes, I still have a moment or two but those too shall pass. So, I know I am suppose to tell everyone about QinH,LLC. I'll just touch on it this post because I am working out a few things. See, when I had a partner, things were agreed on but, know that I am lone CEO. I want to change a few things.

One problem though, is that my laptop went down and being the silly rabbit I am, I didn't back things up on an outside drive so, there are things on that laptop I need to get off it. Yes, I am seeing the Geek Squad at Best Buy.

But, I'll share a few things now.

Guess what?

In May, I will be a certified Event Planner.

I decided to take classes since part of the business is throwing events for our brands, etc. Yes, I could hire an event planner but, since I am just starting out much will be do it myself. Plus, I want to know how things work and if needed I can always do it myself. Like when I took HTML classes. Not that I plan on building sites but, I know how to go into my templates and change things, any time I want to. I also took a publishing class. That class will be useful as QinH,LLC progresses.

I am also taking an online editing refresher course, to help me with post and more. I will be done with that one in April. The event planning classes are at the local community college.

I was talking to Coogie, the other night and we agreed that my first event has to be in NYC. If I am going to do it I might as well do it big. I am hoping to have something in September. Most likely a Queen in Heels event. Which brings me to another quick topic (which came up in conversation). How QinH,LLC got it's name. I'll save that for next time.

2011 is Here . . . Now what?

2011-01-05T11:21:00.005-05:00

So, here we all are. It is a new year . . . wait . . . it's a new hour, in a new day, in a new year. *Jennifer Hudson voice

Haha I had to get that out my system. I know that those are not the exact words she singing on my television but this is my blog.

Anyway. Anyway.

I brought the new year in trying to sleep but my son came up the stairs demanding I get up and I said, "No, let me just lay here." How horrible of me not to get up and bring in the new year with my children. They know how I am and that I am crazy about them so, I am sure they have forgiven me.
I just wanted to stay buried in my covers and wake up . . . hopefully. . .refreshed.
Why?
I didn't want to bring my tears I had just shed a few hours ago into the new year with me. It's silly. I read what some people went through in 2010 . . health issues, deaths in families, job lost and there I was missing some him. I know I know. How pathetic is that? He moved on months ago. . . and I mean moved on. And I am still moping.
Like I said I wanted to leave the sad in 2010 and wake better in 2011. I did wake up and clean like it was Spring . . . fresh start. Unhappy trash men.

I didn't make any resolutions this year. Well, I set a goal or two so, I guess that means I made a resolution.

I am happy with my weight. I just want to lose the belly I have. But, I don't have any plans to do a crunch so I need to work on getting a plan to do one or ten a week.

I am quitting my job Jan 28. I hate it. It stresses me. I planned on leaving Dec 31, I didn't want to walk in there at all this year but, since my manager is a friend, I stayed for his sake. I told him though Jan 28. I will not come in a day after. He thinks he can make me stick around. What am I going to do? Shrugs.
Yes, I know that my job is the ONLY income I have for my children and me.

I am completely letting him go. No more looking at his private Facebook page. Funny thing is, I didn't do it to see him, because I have pictures of him and I never look at them, I just look at the page to see what he is up to via his profile picture. Last time, Dec 31 it made me cry. So, I told myself to stop.

I thought of joining one of those dating sites online . . still contemplating a little. . but I really don't have time to be online trying to meet men. I have bigger plans to worry about and that would only be a distraction.

All that and those aren't even my New Year Goals.

side note: depending on how well my real goals go . . it will help me reach next years goal to move to the big city.

My New Year goals all revolve around QinH, LLC.

For years, I have been talking about a multi-media company. Always said I was going to do it and this and that. Made small steps just never really acted.
Three years (and some months) ago I met him. He said, "Sharon, don't talk about it, be about it."
Ideas were exchanged, designs drawn, names registered, logos made, plans written and he loved everything I showed him and when he had found faults, flaws, bad planning, or sucky stories, scripts, or posts . . . he let me know. It was my craziness that would eventually do us in though when I look back I wasn't the only one with issues but like they say . . .people come into our lives for a reason some for life some for only a season.
Anyway.
QinH, LLC is the umbrella (parent) company and it has all it's little off springs. . .

I started having doubts, being on my own now even though I was getting positive feedback and making great contacts and getting on lists and getting invites . . .etc but fear and heartbreak made me lose focus. But, like The Alchemist says. . . read the omens. Every time, I think about quitting . . .something pulls me back.

Dag, this post is long and I haven't even gotten to what QiH,LLC is. Yeah, I know I wrote multi-media company but that is so general. I guess we will have to finish this next post.

I Heart This Book

2010-12-28T11:08:00.005-05:00

I know this book was written by a man but it is like a gospel to me. I have heard about this book for years. I never took the time to purchase and read it. This year I have been wrestling with my 2011 plans and I almost backed out when my manager told me he had a book. He brought in The Alchemist 3 months ago and I not only devoured the book in one sitting. I am rereading it this time around taking my time and meditating on all that I have read. I have decided to step out and follow my plans. If you have never read this book . . . Get it.

R.I.P Lady T AKA Teena Marie

2010-12-27T15:48:00.003-05:00

Last night, I was on Facebook/Twitter (I keep them open in separate windows all 4 accounts) when I saw a friend post on Facebook she just read Teena Marie died. I popped open my twitter page and wrote something like Teena Marie died???? Then I went to Google and didn't see anything about it. So, I left a comment on the friends post that asked was it a news source or gossip source. She said the radio station she listens to in Philly posted it.

Back on twitter there was a debate of whether it was true or not. Then someone tweeted Ron Isley said she died. I still wanted to see a link to an actual news source. But when Shelia E tweeted it and said they just took the body. I believed it. Why? She is Shelia E.

Soon, it was breaking news.

At the young age of 54, Teena Marie had passed.

Last night, I played a Teena Marie tribute. Her death really made me sad. Not because she is a celebrity. I know that people tend to get caught up in celebrities death as if we knew them but for another reason.

Before I tell you the reason, let me say that 1.) Teena was a gifted and exceptional singer 2.)She never got the credit and recognition she deserved.

Lady T's death upset me because for one reason or another . . . she always reminded me of my mother. Not that my mother was running around singing or anything, especially like Lady T. It was Lady T's hair color, and facial features, and (despite the picture I posted where my mother was on the heavy side) my mother's weight would go up and down but she was top heavy and flat in the butt just like Lady T. haha

Teena Marie's death made me sad because I like her and because she reminded me of my mother. Remember when I tried to find my mother a few years back? Well, last night I considered trying again. I still have the information and know the address but, I decided against it. In my heart, when Teena died so did my mother and the desire to try find her and make her part of my life.

I am going to end this with two of many of my favorite Teena Marie songs.
(I can't sing but put on some Teena and I will think I can)

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T16:37:00.003-05:00

Childhood Photo

2010-12-17T20:36:00.004-05:00

This is the only picture that I have of my mother. For some reason Blogger won't let me put the bigger view up.

Anyway, I was 7 when this was taken. My sister 3 and my brother 4. Before I go any further, look at my brother's high water suit and black laces. I died 4 times looking at them. *dead *revived *dead . . 6 times.

Not too long after this photo was taken my mother quit coming around. See, she would be around then, go back to her family then, come back. Finally, after years she left my father and her children for good. Well, she did come and try to get me once but, that is another story.

See how she is holding my hand (also we the only ones smiling cause . . cause we sitting together and holding hands)? I was always her favorite. I tease my brother and sister about it. They act like they don't care . . they do. I know that is so mean to do to children who don't really remember their mother. Oh well, sometimes I can't help it. They grown now they will survive.

Anyway . . . look at my brother's tight blue suit. . *dead
That suit is 4 sizes too small and his shirt is cutting off circulation to his brain. He can't breath! He can't breath!

And on top of it all . . . he got on white socks. . . I am dying!!!

My father never smiled in a damn picture. Like dude is it really always that serious?
Every picture I got of that man is smile less. Like dude black don't crack . . smile.
This picture is not the best so, it may be hard to tell this but, I am the one who looks most like my father.

My mother had straight long hair then one day she went and came home with a curly fro. Maybe she wanted to fit in with my father's family. That dress is just hideous.

Then, there is my sister on the end. She ai'right looking with her alien head. Sitting there like she don't have a clue and is just a prop. That photographer crossed her feet and folded her hands and she stayed like that. Those shoes are ugly too. Buster Brown boots.

Trying not to look at the boy in blue. . . . . . .

My sister like I said is ai'right but let's be honest . . .I am doing my thing . . looking fly. . and knowing it. Yes, I thought I was hot stuff. I use to love those shoes. They had a little wedge and so that made me adore them more. Even at a young age, I was obsessed with heels. I had on my little cowgirl outfit. Vest. Skirt. Sporting my sweater tights. If I had that outfit now, I might just sport it. Don't hate me cause I'm stylish (in my Keri Hilston voice).

P.S.
Don't worry about my brother and sister getting mad at me for talking about them . . .it's what we do. We will pull out pictures or bring up memories, or just look at one another and go in. Especially, me and my brother, we go hard. My sister can't go like us. She usually ends up getting all weepy on us. My brother he can say some funny stuff but, I am the one. My evil sarcastic behind will go in for the kill. I am being very tame in this post.

A Gift of Music and Love

2010-12-14T10:40:00.005-05:00

If you don't mind sending me your home address VIA EMAIL . .

and if you send it before Friday December 17th.

and if you like Christmas music . . .

I would like to send you a little gift from me to you.

thetrueurbanqueen@hotmail.com

I reserve the right to reject any one I want to !!!

The Semi-Finals and all That Cuteness

2010-12-12T15:47:00.003-05:00

On Saturday, December 11, 2010 my son and his classmates competed in the Ballroom Dancing Competition Fall 2010 Semi-Finals.
Here is how it all began. . .

Earlier, this year my son came home and told me that instead of having gym, him and the entire 5th grade at his school would be learning ballroom dance. He was quite unhappy. Fast forward two weeks, he comes home saying, "Dance with me Mommy." The ballroom dancing seemed to have quickly grown on him.

In November, the school held a presentation for the parents in the school gym. There was so much cuteness watching those "babies" dancing. My son did well not a professional by any means but, hey they/he had only been doing it for two months.

When we were at the presentation, the instructor explained to us that 6 couples (12 children) would be chosen to represent the school in the competition. Honestly, I knew my son was not one of the chosen.

Fast forward a few weeks later, I received a call my son was one of the young men chosen to compete (I really believe someone else dropped out but, so what he made it back-up or not).

So, we get to the place where they are holding the competition and once we get inside, I realize I have no clue about what is going on and how serious it is.

*1. I thought it was just a competition among city public schools . . . it wasn't. Other schools were also there.

*2. This was the first year that his school participated however, some of these schools had been there before.

*3. I think his teachers and principals were a little surprised by how serious this is to some. When I got the call I was told that the boys would wear white shirts and black pants and the girls a nice dress or skirt. Well, that was just OUR school and one other school that thought that way. The other schools had the girls in matching dresses and the boys in matching shirts. Because, the schools were identified by colors the young girls wore sashes. Our school also, gave the boys matching bow ties and cumber bands.

*4. The parents of these children were serious. They wore the colors of their schools teams. They brought pom poms, signs, and noise makers.

Here I naively thought it was all in fun and we would be all proper-like. Silly Rabbit.

Well, I quickly caught on and my big mouth did plenty of cheering and screaming for my son and his classmates.

Here is how the competition went. There were six couples from each school. For the first round each couple was assigned a dance to do. My son and his partner had to do the Foxtrot for the first round. For the second round, the were assigned a dance that was randomly chosen from a box. My son and his partner were given the Merengue.

My son at ten is short. His dance partner was just about as tall at me. I tell you that made it all the more cute (I am sure the judges were cooing about it too).

In the end, my son and his school were on of 4 gold teams to move on to the finals in April. If they win the finals, they will go on to the state championships. I am so excited, but first we have got to practice, practice, practice because this is serious.

I am now learning the dances to help him.

Lastly, afterwards when they were taking team pictures and we were all celebrating, I felt so bad for the children crying who lost. I guess in the end it is all a valuable lesson.

First Dance: Foxtrot

Second Dance: Merengue

Congrats to my baby boy

Random-ness About Not Much

2010-11-16T17:57:00.003-05:00

** I sometimes dislike listening to a song and then a rap starts. Every song does not need a rapper. It can so mess up the flow.

** I have been having a hard time concentrating on my LLC and the brands under it. Not good when 2011 is in . . . 3. . 2. . 1. . Plus, I am without my partner now. So, everything is all on me to get it up and running. AND not completely waste the money I have aside for it (it's all I got).

** If I don't keep a piece of gum in my mouth, I will eat everything sweet in the house.

** I love the evenings when me and my children are all home together. I like knowing they are safe.

** After the holidays, I am going to try the cleanse diet. The one where you eat nothing and drink that lemon water mix. I'll probably last three days. So,I am thinking of doing a lemon water, grapes, and apples diet . . I will probably last longer with that one. I know if I eat then that is not a cleanse.

** Ever listen to a song 30 times in a row? I have many times. Lay in my bed hit repeat and let it play. Which song? That depends on my mood. If I am in a mellow mood and in bed it's usaully something slow. Maxwell, Sade, Chrisette Michelle, Luther Vandross etc. .
Yesterday, I had on Keri Hilson Pretty Girl Rock . . which I danced to for 2 hours while prepping for the next day. Simple song. Very ego boosting.
My name is Sherri I'm so very. . . .doing the pretty girl rock. . .don't hate me cause I'm beautiful.

My Loving Request Letter

2010-11-14T17:38:00.005-05:00

To whom if may concern,

This is another one of those love requests. Yeah, I know I know, we may have had this conversation two, three, thirty times before.
Sigh.

I am positive that I am a pretty girl (even though sometimes when I look at myself, especially in pictures, I tend to resemble a gay man). For the most part, I have pretty high self-esteem (though I do do tend to be my worse enemy when it comes to putting myself down).

Look. Where is my tall dark and handsome?

I once knew a man who was tall, dark, and handsome. Intelligent, witty, and had a good job. One who supported me in so many ways, including my dreams. I thought I had found my soul mate. At last.

That was not the case. Actually, maybe I had but, because I didn't deal with my issues, I lost him. They say that you don't know what you have until it it gone.

I suffered my pain. My heartache.

I am sure it was some type of punishment. Hopefully, I have served my time.

Now, I would like to move forward.

I have not dated a man for the last 9 months. I have not even entertained the suggestions from men who have offered to take me out. I have declared that I am not dating and am concentrating on other areas in my life.

Part of this (I have to admit), is because I am positive that in the city I live in there are no men . . .well there are men but, not any who will meet my criteria.

Hey, just cause I am old and lonely doesn't mean I can't have standards and a list of requirements.

I refuse to settle. Compromise . . . maybe -- settle . . . no.

So, here is the short version

Tall, dark, and handsome (to me. . you know I tend to find men handsome others give me side eye over).

Intelligent, funny, good job, doesn't mind children (and doesn't have a thang for them either).

In good physical shape (yes, I have noticed my muffin top growing but he can help me work it off. Know what I'm saying. Okay okay okay and I'll exercise too).

There is no lady-like way to really put this but I will try. On a scale of 1 to 10 of the do you like sex meter. I pick 30. And let me tell you no sex what so ever for 9 months has not been easy. So, he better like it. And often.

Lastly, he has to be supportive. I got ambitions and dreams. If he isn't trying to get there with me . . . he needs not to be with me. I am not asking him to do anything but give me the emotional and mental support I need and every once in a while some advice and a helping hand.

Okay, I am done. You have my request. I will wait with patience to see what you send my way. Thanks in advance.

Sharon.

(I will assume this match.com commercial on my television is not a sign. May he find me and I not have to go search for him. Though, I would like to try speed dating. It just seems fun).

p.s. we need to have a long talk about that guy at the bus stop with me. You know the young one with the cigarette, Payless boots, yucky teeth, and speaking Ebonitics, talking about he got kidz (with a z) and from the way he bummed a dollar from that female co-worker of his . . not much of a paycheck). Not amusing at all.

Early Morning-ism

2010-10-31T08:53:00.006-04:00

Last week, I was running on empty. Besides, giving up sleep to plan, work on, and execute the business (which we will discuss in the next three to three hundred posts), I lost two days of sleep because of a field trip.

My son had a field to the state capital for a SADD event. The students had to be at the school by 4 AM. Last year when my daughter had to go, my ex-husband was able to drive her up to the school. This year he was having car trouble so, it was up to me to get my son to the school.

I couldn't find the letter with the date of the trip, but we knew it was that week. I told my son to ask when he went to school Tuesday. He forgot but, swore it was that Wednesday morning. I go along with it. I stayed up getting his things together. Did a little work went to lay in the bed. When I know I have to get up for something I tend to sleep very light, constantly watching the clock. At 3 AM, I got him up, dressed, and by 3:35AM we were on our way.

I don't drive so we had to walk 5 blocks, uphill, to the school. I was armed with my mace and cellphone and nothing else. Cold, dark, quiet walk.

We get there and there is not a soul in the parking lot. I can't be mad at my son because I am the one who lost the letter then trusted a 10 year old to get the right information.

My son is like "please wait a minute". We wait 15 minutes. Do you know a guy came walking pass and tried to "talk" to me. "Hey, what's your name?"

I look at him like do not f*ck with me. He says sorry and keeps walking. We turn to head back home. I get my disappointed son to go back to sleep so, he can get up for school. But, I can't sleep. Finally, it hits me go to the SADD site and see when the event is (would have been a useful thought at 7pm the night before). The event is the next day.

About 15 minutes before it is time to get my daughter up for school, I sit back on the couch and fall off. I wake up 30 minutes later. There is no way she is going to make it. Every minute counts because she is s-l-o-w in the mornings. She did hustle that morning but, I knew she would miss the bus. She did and the next one won't come for a hour so, she missed school. My son made it to school and me to work.

Next evening, my son is positive (from his friends chatter) the trip is that morning so, am I after reading the site.

This time, I am even more nervous and so was my son. I live in a decent neighborhood. But, you never know. My son asks me to carry both my pepper sprays. I do. Repeat the sleeping light to make sure I get up, get him ready, taking the quiet walk uphill to the school. This time there are cars. He is happy.

I wait until a trusted teacher comes, then I walk home. This time, I sit at my work area so I won't fall asleep. I wake my daughter on time and I get myself ready for work.
Dark circles and all.

Fear Takes a Bite

2010-10-24T18:27:00.003-04:00

In the county I live in there have been 72 recorded pitbull attacks. The number is probably a little higher. For some reason pitbull attacks are on the rise. I will admit, I have always been afraid of pitbulls. I know it is not the breeds fault they are the way they are. It is the fault of the people who are raising these animals.

I really do feel bad for these dogs. I wish that they were not so abused. I wish for an end of all animal abuse.

Back, in June. I was ran on by a pitbull.

I use to walk to work every morning. Since, I work the next neigborhood over and most of the walk was down hill. I also use to walk home which is mostly all up hill. It was good for me and I enjoyed the time to think, plan, and meditate.

I would walk out my door, down my street, and up a little hill. At the top of the hill there is a house with two pitbulls. The poor dogs are always tied outside, even in winter. They have houses but still, I have never seen the point of having a dog if all you are going to do is leave it tied outside all the time.
Anyway, the two dogs always bark when they see someone walk past. The smaller dog (which I found out later is the female) usually goes wild when she is barking trying to pull off the chain and come get you.

On this morning, I walk up the hill (I always walk on the opposite side of the street) and I notice the larger gray dog (which I found out is the male). On top of his dog house and he isn't barking. I thought that was strange but what was more strange was . . .where was the other dog. I look down by the fence there is the brown dog, staring at me.

I knew she was coming. I told myself, "you can not run just try to keep standing. Do not let that dog get you on the ground".

That dog jumped the fence and came running. A pitbull's mouth is so frightening. You can just see the power in those jaws. I strat swinging my purse and screaming at the top of my lungs. Every which way the dog turns I turn my body to face it. I want to remain face to face with that dog. For some reason she doesn't bite me, she backs up. I think she is surprised by my reaction. But, she is not done.

I think to myself, here she comes again. "I am going to fight her but, I know she is going to get me this time. So, I will just offer her my arm and punch it in the nose. Just please God don't let her take me down." She charges. There is a high pitch scream. She turns and runs back toward the house jumps the fence and goes in her house.

I am standing there chest heaving, waiting for her to decide to come back. When I noticed the little girl who leaves in the house out the upstairs window. Then, the father comes running out. He leashes the dog back up and I fall to the ground in tears.

Apparently, they brought the dogs new collars and hers was too loose. The dogs are reasonably cared for so, they are still there. Tied up all day. And I am thankful that it wasn't the male dog cause I think he would have mauled me badly.

Oh, and after everything was said and done. I went to work that afternoon.
This has been a long story.

Anyway, the dogs still live there. And I no longer walk that way out of fear. The other day, I tried. Told myself to face my fear. But three house away, from their's, I could not get my legs to move. My heart raced and I quickly turned and sprinted back to walk the longer way to catch a bus.

I don't think I will ever walk that way again.

Maybe it's Nothing but I Ain't Having it

2010-10-19T15:58:00.008-04:00

So, I was getting ready to type another post when my son walked in the room (he just came from outside) and told me he had a job.

Me: What job.

Him: Uncle Barry . . (I give him a who the hell look cause we don't have no Uncle Berry in this family) . .I mean Mr.Barry.

Me: Who is that?

Him: That is G's uncle (one of the little boys my son plays with and the one I am the least fond of. I guess his Uncle wants all the boys to call him Uncle).

Me: What does MR. Barry want you to do?

Him: He wants me to watch over his son in school (who is younger).

Me: Well, you don't need a job. I take care of you just fine.

Him: He already paid me.

Me: Paid you what?

Him: 4 dollars

Me: Take it back right now!

Him: Mommy.

Me: Right now! You want 4 dollars I'll give you four dollars but you are not taking money off that man. He want someone to watch his son then G, his nephew, can do it alone.

Now, maybe I am over-reacting (which may lead to a heart attack with my heart racing and my pulse pulsating, and my head throbbing, and my pressure up)but, I am not having it.

Now, I know I have complained about money. I know I have had to deny him and his sister their wants because of lack of money. I know I am barely keeping up with their needs.

Maybe, I am sending my son the wrong message about not working cause, I'll give it to him.

I just think something is off about it. I don't want my son involved.

Maybe Mr. Barry's intentions are harmless. Maybe, his son needs looked out for but, not by my child. I don't want him getting caught up in nothing. I told my son if he were to see Mr. Barry son getting picked on, he should tell an adult because, that is the right thing to do.
He is not stepping in himself either getting into a fight or being bullied or being a bully.

And he is not going to be indebted to Mr. Barry.

Maybe, Mr. Barry just feels bad because I won't allow my son to go beyond two houses on opposite ends. That's it. The amount of freedom he has.

Or that my son is the first one to come in the evening (summer too)

Maybe, I am over-reacting but, what Mr. Barry better realize and what my son seemed to fail to remember when he took that money is that his mother is

part black . . .part white. . .but all crazy.

Muttnight

2010-10-12T18:15:00.003-04:00

I have a dog whom I call Muttnight however, the children insist his name is Midnight. He is a spoiled little mutt. Who seems to think when I say,
"get of my couch" means "please, lay there".

So, I was sitting in the game room in the armchair reading when I look over to the couch. I started cracking up. Muttnight was laying on the couch using my son's sweat jacket as his body pillow. I had to take the picture with my son's cellphone so it isn't that clear. But I knew if I ran upstairs for my camera the dog would have just followed me. I wanted to capture him in all his glory. So, I crept up and snapped the picture. Even though you will notice he is watching me.

Ever see a dog lay like that?

Did I mention he is crazy?

Yes, he has been neutered. As I am sure you can tell.

Thankfully, in the game room, I keep the couch covered with a removable, washable cover. Because between two children and a hardheaded dog, I can't win.

He does crack me up.

Dreaming Life Away

2010-10-11T09:28:00.004-04:00

We all have them . . . those dreams that we just can't shake, when we wake.

Having the day off from work, I decided to sleep in just alittle. I woke up at my usual time, told myself I need to get up and work on other business but, I just wanted that extra snooze time.

Let the crazy dreaming begin. . .

My daughter went to school. My son and I started cleaning the game room (which of course didn't look my the game room). In my dream it was my house, it resembled my house, it had the layout of my house but, it was so different and even a little larger.

So, while my son and I are cleaning someone shows up at my door. My door is open but the screen is locked (something I never really do cause I am paranoid). It is a women who I recognized but, I really don't know who she is. I grab my son and we hide in the corner as she looks through the screen. She finally leaves. So, my son and I head up the stairs. The living room door is open but the glass screen door is locked (once again I never do that). Another women comes to my door. It is a high school friend, who I no longer speck to and haven't seen in years, I go to the door and step outside to talk to her. She asks me what is wrong with me. I tell her nothing. She then tells me a guy, who I never liked and really only spoke three words to when I attended community college, told her that I called him asking for money. She didn't even go to community college with me and the two of them (as far as I know) do not even know one another in real life.
Anyway, I deny ever calling him. So, to prove it she calls him on her cellphone. She hands me the phone while it is ringing. He answers. I ask him why he told her I asked for money. He hangs up on me.

Next, thing I know I am following her up the street and she is explaining she was in my neighborhood because a childhood friend had killed herself. I finally notice she is in black. I remember the girl who earlier came to my door was wearing black too. I am walking with this ex high school friend in shock as I notice other people walking up the street in black too. I am wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
We get to a building (in my neighborhood that in reality is not in my neighborhood)and the ex high school friend sits down in a chair where there are two older women sitting in chairs. I don't understand why she killed herself. They are saying something about unexplained occurrences. I want to know when the funeral is. Today at 3 but be here by 2 they tell me.

I tell them I will, I am going to go get dress and call my father so he can come with me (My father has been dead for about 6 years). I get home and I am trying to call my father but, I can't remember his phone number. I can't find it in my home phone or cellphone (I have looked through 4 of them. My children are there listening to me fuss and they are now older). Next thing I know my father shows up. Well, he is dark like my father, same height, but he doesn't exactly look like my father.

I tell him that I have been trying to call. That so and so killed herself. I asked him if he is going to the funeral (then I noticed he is already dressed for it)

and he said, "I never miss a funeral."

I woke up.
*************
Maybe it is depression. Maybe it is the stress I am feeling over money and my house needing work. Maybe it is the stress of not wanting to fail or not making it in business. Maybe it is the fact that I am having pain and I will have to pay out the pockets for any test. But, I think that dream means . . .something really bad.

It's Been So Long . . I Miss You

2010-10-09T14:59:00.003-04:00

I was singing that song verse over and over. I couldn't remember the name or singer but after googling the entire chorus, I found out who sang it.

Hey guys, I missed you all. I have been around if you are a friend on Facebook or we are following each other on Twitter you know this. You also know I have been busy working on building the LLC and my other site. Also, you might know I am suffering from major heartbreak.

So, I am behind on everything because . . . depression is trying to drown me.

Yes, I have been giving myself morning pep talks and praying but, being the human I am I hurt.

Anyway, my lovely people.

I have worked out a schedule, I hope to stick to, where I can make time to blog here twice a week . . . well, at least once a week.

What else is going on. . . .

* I cut all my hair off. I posted a picture on FB, of the first cut however, now it is even shorter. I will have to take some pictures and post them.

* I am taking time to be with just me. I am not dating . . .at all. I haven't dated since, March of 2010 and I don't plan on considering dating until March 2011. Unless, one of two things happens. 1)A dream walks into my life 2)My dream walks into my life.
I just don't want to rebound date.

* I don't think there are any men in my city who I would want to date. I believe if I don't leave here soon, I will never date again.

Is there any good news?

* Yes, I am learning to change my negative and sarcastic attitude.

* I am learning to set aside my fears. I have allowed them to stifle my dreams long enough.

Until, next time . . .

Sorry Seems to be . . .

2010-07-25T18:35:00.001-04:00

Love this song. On heavy rotation.

My Thoughts With Pictures: The Children

2010-07-18T20:05:00.012-04:00

So, I have been very busy with www.queeninheels.com (which involves much more now then just post a whole brand is being built), raising my children, and working. I have also been trying to learn how to work the Abobe Indesign program I recently got. It has so many programs, I want to learn them all (photoshop, acrobat, many more). . . for designing, publishing, and much more. And on top of it all write write write a novel.

But it is not all work and no play. And I have been taking pictures along the way. Still taking the . .I am carrying my camera everywhere . . for various reasons. Should make for interesting posting over the weeks.

Here we go . . . . . .

I wanted to share (weeks later) that my daughter is now headed to high school. She had her eighth grade promotion in June. It is so amazing and a little saddening with a touch of much joy that my baby girl has grown from 5 pounds 2 ounces into a beautiful young lady.

Despite, the attitude and smart lip once in a while she likes to try and give, she is still a sweet girl who spends most her time with mommy.

That brings me to my little man. I was watching him as he was sleeping on the love seat and just had to snap a picture. He surprisingly, weighed more than my daughter at birth . . a whopping 6 pounds 3 ounces.

He too is well-behaved and while he has his friends, in the house and most times, he stays near mommy. Some days it makes me scream but I know soon he (and she) might not want to be around me so much so I better enjoy it now.

My daughter is now 14 and my son is 10.

Yes, he really is 10. Yes, she is as tall as me. My son is not as dress up for her promotion because it was during school time and I had to take him out of class for the event.

I was going to post about other things but I have decided to leave this post all about them.

The two people I love more than . . .everything.

Worked it Out

2010-07-04T09:23:00.006-04:00

First, thanks for all the love and kind words.

So, after all the fighting and emotions have died down. Things are really working out. It is so funny how we react first without thinking things out. I guess that is the downfall of being human. And well as some of you know I am one step from crazy myself.

I must admit that no matter what there is no one I would rather have as a partner then the one I have. We have history bad and great. And I know in the end he will fight for me and despite my moodiness continues to stick by me (all business people - no romance).

I am an emotional person. I react on emotions rather than with common sense and long thought out thinking. . .if that makes sense. I really have to learn to control my emotions. Especially, if I am going to survive and make successful my goals and dreams.

I tend to act, say something, or write something when my emotions are all over the place and my mind is clouded by them. Something I must stop. And sometimes it makes others who care for me react in ways to protect themselves.

One thing about empowering yourself is admitting and accepting your flaws then working on them. Especially, if they are a blocking the way to achievement and/or happiness.

On a side note:

* Please nominate www.queeninheels.com for the Cosmo Awards.
http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/your-life/cosmo-blog-awards/special

Cosmo Awards.

* I have been hustling so much on projects and networking and contacting people, and planning that I am doing it in my sleep. So, girlie is tired but super excited.