The Turner Report

The TR: Liberal Journos Are Liberal, Lindsay is Locked Up and Palin's English Makes Us LOL

2010-07-23T14:43:00.013-04:00

We always think we talk about the weather too much, but then these crazy heat indexes start popping up again! 108 tomorrow? Yuuuck. If you HAVE to trek outside today, make sure it's only for a good reason -- like catching a food truck. Or finding a coffee shop so you can catch up with Queenie in peace!

Get ready, y'all, this one's a doozy...

Forecast

FinReg was signed into law Wednesday, and some environmental groups had hoped for climate legislation to be next in line. It doesn't look like it's going to happen this session. Any other most-likely-to-fail legislation in the works? CA congresswoman Lynn Woolsey plans to introduce a bill with a robust public option, which has has 121 co-sponsors. At least she followed through on her promise. As for any other major legislative overhauls, it looks like a no, unless this lame-duck Congress thing has legs (pun intended!).

West VA Governor Joe Manchin said he'll run for the Senate seat formerly held by Robert Byrd. Seat-warmer Carte Good win will serve until a replacement is elected. Who says a nonagenarian can't run? In other election news, Alvin Greene is still around. Check out his amazing rapping campaign video!

Conservative pundits are FUMING over TOP SECRET BREAKING NEWS released by the Daily Caller, showing that the liberal medi a machine is controlling the world, or something. Turns out, the DC was also a member of Journolist. You tell them, Ezra, and hold on, everyone, let Sarah get her two cents in. Pop quiz: Can you guess which fair and balanced "news" channel picked this story up immediately? Liberals, Tucker Carlson has already addressed your arguments, but Ezra is still stepping in and we're 100% behind him as this story continues to limp along. (Side note: what with all this conversation about journalism lately, this piece on "How to Tell a Journalist from a Blogger" is worth a read.)

International update! Hillary was in Afghanistan this week for an international c onference on that country's future. The conference endorsed President Karzai's plan for Afghan forces to take over security in 2014. Meanwhile, Joe says we'll start pulling troops out next July, but it may be a slow withdrawal. Clinton also traveled to South Korea with Secretary Gates to announce new sanctions against the North. There was a curious North Korean soldier at one of their briefings.

Lawyers from the Justice Department were in Phoenix to present their arguments against Arizona's immigration law. Back in DC, the Senate rejected an amendment to the jobless benefits bill that would prohibit federal funds from being used in any lawsuit seeking to overturn the AZ law. We wish the media coverage would focus more on brave, young activists like these seeking to pass the Dream Act.

The Kagan snoozefest continued this week. The Senate Judiciary Committee voted 13-6 in favor of the nominee. As we predicted, Lindsey voted in support. Lugar also said he's a yes. A full Senate should come before the August recess.

The Week That Was

A double take at the USDA: Shirley Sherrod was forced out of her job after a heavily-edited video of her allegedly gloating that she wasn't helping out a white farmer because of his race. Well... it turns out it wasn't that simple. The NAACP claims it was "snookered" by FOX News and Andrew Breitbart, and the White House is now calling for a review of the situation. Ugh... fact check, fact check, fact check. How many times can we say this?

BP had some good news over the weekend -- aaand then oil began to trickle again. A relief well is close to being completed. But the other story was about a real Joe the Plumber who came to the rescue. FINALLY we're not talking about the guy whose 15 minutes were up nearly two years ago! Also, BP has been doin' the dirty by trying to buy off scientists from universities, while stories come out about serious safety lapses before the spill. Seriously, what are they thinking? And the photoshopping, please! China is also trying to contain a large spill of its own.

Britain's new PM was in Washington meeting with Obama and congressional leaders, who are infuriated with BP's involvement with the release of the Lockerbie bomber.

Kudos (this time) to Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe for siding with the Dems to overcome GOP opposition to extending unemployment benefits. While the package ain't much, this whole process just demonstrated (as one blogger wrote) that it's easy to argue over this from your air-conditioned office. Empathy for the jobless, however, is a little more difficult.

Chaos at the RNC. Michael Steele is being accused of stuffing his shoe bo x with millions of dollars of debt. What did we tell you about keeping him out of the spotlight?! Also, a Colorado senate candidate plays the gender card. Real stupid. Sharron recently did a press conference and a Q & A session... without the answer part. Finally, if you thought David Vitter belonged on Springer, have a look at his primary opponent.

Michele Bachmann one-upped Rand Paul by formally forming a Teabaggin', Tea Party caucus in the House. Time to put that fine china to some use! GOPers can't d ecide if they should join. Meanwhile, we hear the Tea Party kicked out one of their own over a blog spat. This is entertainment at its best. Up in Alaska, Tea Partiers are scaring the shit out of everyone with their parades, and the all the hoopla over racist Tea Partiers has led to a summit to address the issue. Who would've thought!

The somewhat hilarious headline confused us for a second, but now we understand. The author says Joe believes voters are rationally ignorant. What would the gnomes say? But that's not all -- apparently some Washingtonians (none of us at Turner Central, of course) are a shmidge out of touch with the rest of y'all.

Are You Not Entertained?!

Lindsay's in jail! There was a media firestorm as we watched the trainwreck get booked last week. Normally we don't sink so low as to gossip -- ok, actually, we do -- but the best parts of this so far have been: the postcards sent to her jail cell; the rabid fans trying to get her on the phone; the fact that she's making bank off of this; and, how she's located near a cell holding the girl that burgled Lindsay's home. Too bad she won't be in very long... this is comedy gold!

Glenn Beck says he could go blind within the year. Karma, anyone? Before that happens, a "special" someone scrounged up $90k to have dinner with the Fox News personality.

Oh, no! The super-talented cast of Jersey Shore could be on the picket line if they don't get their way. Does it have to do with turtlenecks?

It appears that Barney Frank, who appeared on Kathy Griffin's show, is no longer is a fan.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Nerds are out in force on the West Coast right now, rocking Comic-Con and Netroots Nation. We can't decide where we'd rather be: in a city that provides Klingon translatio ns of street signs, or in Las Vegas... with a bunch of tech nerds. Party time? (Just kidding -- and hi to all our friends showing off out there. Watch out for the RightOnline!)

The anger keeps rising with users of the new iPhone after Apple's half-assed attempt to kiss and make-up. Whoopi took things into her own hands, while this dumb iPhone thief couldn't get away.

Facebook hit a record 500 million users, but managed to piss off many of them along the way.

So that's what that large building is for. WaPo has outdone itself this past week with Top Secret America. They did a spectacular job combining print, video, and the web in one package, AND instigating the administration's response.

Has Shakespeare risen from the dead? No, it's just Sarah. EVERYONE is having a laugh at her new found expertise in vocabulary. She stirred up more Twitter chatter earlier this week.

Teabaggers fooled again!

It costs a lot of green to keep Congress running.

Out on the Town

It's a party freakin' weekend, you guys! For some reason, these arbitrary few days just happen to be very celebratory. Go to Baltimore and dance your butt off, or (if you managed to score tickets) dance your way through Hirshhorn After Hours with drag queens. The end of the Fringe Festival will feature fire dancers and vagabonds, and the hipsters will be celebrating Summer New Year's Eve at Rock and Roll Hotel. Finally, get your mouses ready: free tickets for the Fr eeFest go on sale tomorrow morning. Grab Queenie a ticket too!

Foodies, are you all set for Restaurant Week? You can also dine for a cause at Hudson. And if the food might be getting too friendly with your waistline, sign up for "Tone, Taste and Tan" at the Liaison Hotel. Vinyasa yoga, brunch and a rooftop pool... sounds like Queenie's kind of party!

If you're less party/booze inclined, this sounds fun: a Sunset Serenade at the National Zoo. Music and tigers, anyone?

Scorecard

Phew! If you made it all the way through that, you are truly a Turner Report Super Fan. T-shirts and glittery tank tops (for the ladieees) coming soon!

See you next Friday,

The TR: Ignore the Polls, Block the Flow and Don't Blame Us -- Use Some Duct Tape

2010-07-16T13:37:00.010-04:00

The slightly cooler weather wasn't of much help to the poor folks at Dupont Circle on Monday and Tuesday. We're not melting this week, but, if you thought last week was terrible, have a look at this. We're doomed! Haha, at least we aren't having any earthquakes, ri- oh.

Chins up, dearies. Recycle some stuff, take some public transportation and hold tight for some snark!

Forecast

Barry is taking a hit in the polls and Robert Gibbs conceded that Repubs may take the House in November. We sure hope not. Note these reasons and a new push to stay optimistic, you progressives! Obama hopes Americans don't have selective memory (although we're not so sure about that one). No doubt Republican candidates will be helped out by Sarah, whose PAC is raking in the dough (check out the 2012 standings so far, and then wonder why we're looking this far ahead -- and why John Boehner is jealous). There's also a new Palin bio coming out, targeted at them 9 to 12-year old intellectual giants (gotta get 'em while they're young, right?). Meanwhile, the DNC is looking to curb the influence of superdelegates and shift the primary calendar around for 2012.

Really, Michelle?

We're watching the campaigns closely these days. Sharron Angle is quite a catch, no? The mayor of Sparks, who just happens to be Republican, endorsed Reid, and Ms. Angle received the backing of a GOP icon, after being told to stop scaring the bejesus out of everyone. Zinger from beyond the grave: Did you know that obituaries can be used as a rallying cry? Ouch. Louisiana's David "Diaper" Vitter spent time at a town hall cheering on the birthers, but he claims he's not one of them. (Couldn't make that canceled rally, though). And by the way, how angry is our favorite maverick John McCain these days? Very angry. (Don't even get him started on immigration, y'all.)

Next week the Senate is expected to vote on extending jobless benefits to the unemployed -- after Senator Byrd's succe ssor is sworn in.

Elana Kagan's confirmation is moving along, and by that we mean Republicans are looking to do everything in their power to derail her. Lindsey might be the only GOP'er to support her in the end.

Is BP finally going to catch a breather in the coming days? BP says the newly installed cap has stopped the gushing. We're gonna wait a bit longer to see how things go, just like Obama (who is urging caution before celebration). In the meantime, Tony Hayward is being immortalized as the "BP CEO Inaction Figure." Also, did BP have a hand in the release of the Lockerbie bomber?

The Week That Was

The Senate passed FinReg on Thursday! It's headed to Obama's desk next week. Obama's successful "legislative hat trick" is (ironically) not endearing him to the public, however. Heads up, kids -- Obama knows, and he doesn't really mind. Scotty made up his mind and voted in favor of the legislation. Is he the new Maverick? (Also, attacking his daughters is never okay, Kathy Griffin. Seriously.) This further enraged the splintering Teabagger crowd. They're also up in arms over a NAACP resolution alleging racism. ALSO, it appears the armies didn't gather, as Rick Barber lost his primary.

Obama named Jacob Lew, a top adviser to Hillary, to succeed Peter Orszag at the Office of Management and Budget. Lew held the same position in the Clinton administration. Time to get budgetin'!

A U.S. District Court judge blocked a new abortion screening law from going into effect Thursday.

New Yorkers and Yankees fans mourned the loss of George Steinbrenner. Some weren't so lucky as to have worked for him.

A federal appeals court in New York struck down the FCC's indecency rule. Considering what's on the tube these days, we ain't surprised!

Need to reach Tucker Carlson, flacks? He just got a new email address -- use it before he's sued!

Argentina became the first Latin American country to legalize same sex marriage. And they're still functioning. Imagine that!

The World Cup is finally over. Spain defeated the Netherlands for first place and Paul, the (psychic!) octopus went eight-for-eight. Sadly, 74 people were killed, including an American, in two bombings in Uganda, as crowds gathered to watch the final match. A Somali militant group linked to al-Qaeda claimed responsibility.

The Barefoot Bandit was arrested in the Bahamas after a high-speed boat chase. He has a long history of eluding the cops. His Facebook fans are grieving.

Are You Not Entertained?

So we're asking ourselves this: when was the last time there was good news about Mel Gibson? Assault allegations and racially-tinged rants are just the latest in a long string of trouble. His agent kicked him to the curb and it's looking like the end of his acting career. Should've kept your mouth shut and hands at your side, Mel.

Hats off to our Western Office for letting us know that Biebs dropped by in Omaha! BIEBER FEVER!

Check out Bill and Hill's latest fancy digs in New York. Four fireplaces, stables, 7,000 square feet -- for only $11M? That's a steal!

Remember that Facebook movie trailer? Here's the MySpace version.

Did John Stamos (you know, Uncle Jesse) have a fling with a 17-year-old? ...What?

Snooki has no political incl inations, but apparently voted the way she did in 2008 because Meghan's dad was "cute." Maybe a fake tan and some hair gel could have gotten you the presidency, John. Think about it.

We're not jumping to conclusions about the make-up of Glenn Beckians.

Bristol and Levi are engaged -- AGAIN. Smells like a carefully planned publicity stunt (like nearly everything that emerges from Palin-land). Sarah said thanks, but no thanks!

Interweb Tomfoolery

Good lord! Carl's Jr. is trying to out-do KFC with a foot-long burger. What was that about preventative health measures?

Case closed! Scientists say that the chicken did indeed come before the egg. In your face, eggheads.

How do you make a successful viral video? Just ask Old Spice. We're sure you've seen this awesome ad campaign featuring Isaiah Mustafa in various states of total manliness. Here's the breakdown on how this Internet phenom won our hearts. Oh, and here's his advice for Obama to win over the ladieeees.

Y'all having trouble with your new iPhone 4? Try the duct-tape workaround. Seriously, though, Apple's attempt at handling this complete media meltdown has been poor, to say the least (read this hyperbole-laden article on Steve Jobs' hubris and laugh like Queenie did), and their announcement this afternoon was one more attempt to wrangle the herd into line. The damage has been done, Stevie.

Get your *bleeping* Blago ringtones here.

Microsoft is moving to patent its electronic version of page turning. This is sad, folks. Now who's going to lay claim to the paper version?

How many of you FarmVille fans are willing to cross over to the Google? In an interesting move, Zynga (the company making millions off of Facebook games) is working with Google on their own games site. The Internet wars continue!

A new and controversial Facebook app is making the rounds that will literally lighten you up.

Out on the Town

We're in the middle of all those awesome free outdoor movies in the city. Don't miss out before they're gone!

Dave Matthews is performing at the National Park next Friday. Frat boys, you have your tickets already, right? In other dancing news, the Jamaica Day Outdoor Reggae Festival is happening in Maryland on Sunday.

CAPS FANS: Get your hockey fix in the off-season in Arlington this weekend. If you meet Ovechkin, tell him Queenie said hi!

Finally, catch Queenie at Artscape in Baltimore this weekend to see TONS of her favorite artists (including Wale!). And come with her to see Inception, Christopher Nolan's latest, released today.

Scorecard

Queenie made it back home just in time to see this TR out the door, but she wants to give a special shout-out to Turner Central for getting this one to the finish line this week. *sniff* She REALLY loves her team.

See ya next week!

The TR: Stumping for 2010, Stroking LeBron's Ego and Starting That November Spending Spree

2010-07-09T15:32:00.010-04:00

Non-DC peeps, please take note: this is not the place to be right now. Washington interns are LITERALLY melting from this record-breaking heat, and as the work slows down we are losing our capacity for rational thought. Grab your iced coffee, turn up the A/C and avoid taking the bus, chickens! You can stay calm, cool and snarktastic with us.

Forecast

Obama has been stumping for clean energy and jobs in Nevada this week, before Congress is due back in session. We're waiting for three votes on FinReg and talking economic recovery.

But the longer term forecast is focused -- and heavily -- on November. Specifically, on the mythical "likely voter" (many of whom consider our President a socialist). Democratic fundraisers are in a tizzy over a circulating memo stating that conservative interest groups could spend up to $300 million over this campaign cycle. Guess Wall Street isn't happy about them Dems tryin' to protect Main Street, eh? This New York Democrat might be the exception. We'll be watching the money flow. And PS: keep those interns quiet!

Completely unrelated: Malia Obama is 5'9"?!

BP says it could stop the oil spill by the end of the month. Yeah, sure. In case you haven't guessed, the word "could" should be taken with a grain of salt. Let's hope this PR thing is sorted out by then. In the mean time, we're hearing that tar balls have finally reached Texas shores. Time to stop the apologizing, Gov. Perry? (By the way, if you haven't done this yet, scope out the size of the oil spill by seeing what it would look like if it covered your town. Not terribly comforting. Here, cheer yourself up with this oil spill board game!)

Obama's Justice Department filed suit against Arizona earlier this week in an attempt to prevent the tough immigration law from going into effect. Gov. Jan Brewer had another hissy fit and canceled the annual U.S./Mexican governor's conference.

Gay rights advocates had a victory in Massachusetts after a federal judge rule d that the Defense of Marriage Act was unconstitutional. The case will likely end up before the Supreme Court. Out in Hawaii, though, Linda Lingle disappointed us by vetoing a civil-unions bill. Do we smell a boycott brewing?

The Week That Was

Sentenced and deported: Russian spies caught last week were expelled. Every last one of them plead guilty in a New York federal court. The spy swap took place in Vienna, Austria.

General James "It's a Lot of Fun to Fight" Mattis was nominated by Robert Gates to replace David Petraeus at Central Command. Things are starting to calm down, but Petraeus has a hard job in front of him. Our advice? Avoid the limelight, get to work and let the stories be about what you can accomplish.

"I ain't going anywhere!" Oh, Michael Steele, kee p on talking, (because it's worked so far!). Folks are lining up telling him to stay or go -- it may mean trouble if Ann is defending you. But Repubs don't want to get involved with all that right before November. You know, it might just be a fantasy, but having Sarah at the helm would be the best gift ever. She's already first out the gate in the 2012 race with a new ad. (And check out how that stock footage goes after crazy lefty regulatory practices like "grammar." Citizen, please. This is AMERICA.) Heck, even Michael's got a chance of taking it to the next level. Hah!

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu visited the White House Tuesday to do some relationship mending. Obama gave him some political cover and the PM vowed to go after peace talks. He'll be on FOX on Sunday, FYI.

The Guardian sat down with South Carolina senatorial candidate Alvin Greene. He's got some, er, creative ideas for job creation. (H/T to Queenie's normally respectable Repub informant, who adds, "If they want to see where Alvin's primary money came from, we want to see a birth certificate!" Queenie's response: "Maybe from the Teabaggers?")

Does D.C. have a superhero defending our streets? Maybe we should take a cue from The Viper, Columbia, Tennessee's very own champion of the town square (with ninja stars!). You know, Queenie used to do some kickboxing back in the day...

Are You Not Entertained?

Ohhhh, snap. EVERYONE is talking LeBron and his ego today -- even Turner Central. Why is this King James nonsense anything special? First off, an HOUR-LONG SPECIAL? Sponsored by BING?! And you knew this would incite violence from Cleveland fans (those poor, desperate souls), but who knew this would give so much press to that work hard, play harder font: COMIC SANS. Or that we'd attempt POLITICAL ANALYSIS of this BS. Look, it's everyone's fault that we care so much about LeBron. Take him, Miami. Make this publicity stop! Or we'll get more crap like this!

Most of us were off on Monday, but NBC's Brian Williams accidentally went to work. Excellent work ethic! We were most definitely sleeping in/sitting by the pool/recovering from the night before.

Beibs is going to North Korea! Just kidding. But damn, that was a GREAT hoax.

A California judge handed Lindsay Lohan a 90-day sentence. Let's see if she serves the entire three months. She might need extra help learning respect for the law (although we have to say, her court notes look a little more admirable).

Interweb Tomfoolery

Cease and desist! Tea Party candidate Sharron Angle's campaign sent the letter to Harry Reid's campaign after the latter mocked his opponent's fail PR move to clean up her image. The Internets are forever, my dear. Check out these fun examples of online mud-slingin'!

The Tea Partiers have another reason to celebrate -- they're the newest consumer group of Chrysler. Whoops.

Need a lesson in making shit up? Our favorite foamer-at-the-mouth Glenn Beck is starting his own University. Accreditation and Glenn Beck don't belong in the same sentence.

We don't know if this Florida state representative's ad is painful or funny. How about both?

These senators weren't laughing at their own death notices. Hey, if Justin Beiber can handle it, so can you!

So many companies are embracing this "blogging" thing as a way to champion their message, and we're sure the flacks (sorry, "strategists") among you have recommended the same a time or two. Well, watch out -- it's failed case study time! PepsiCo has successfully ruined their own credibility by attempting to partner (read: buying ad space) with ScienceBlogs and start their own blog about (hah!) nutrition. This was met with, well, disdain.

Conservatives, be disappointed: President who?

Out on the Town

This weekend (for those of you still watching soccer) is a pretty important one, no? Just ask Jose Andres, who has taken octopus off the menu in honor of the Octo-Oracle predicting Spain's win. (Want your own psychic cephalopod? We gotcha covered.) Get your fútbol p arty on at Beacon on Sunday and get there early for the free drinks.

Feeling French? Celebrate Bastille Day at the Embassy of France -- we'd mostly go for the food, but we're sure there's something else interesting to do there. You can also get your culture on at the Capital Fringe Festival, which starts today. Finally, Queenie is a sucker for fireflies, so encourages you to take the kiddies to the Firefly Festival in Arlington at dusk.

And some advance warning: nerds among you, in addition to Nerd Nite at DC9 on Saturday, meet the Atlantis astronauts at Georgetown on July 26 and hear some arguments for why we still need the space program. Also in Gtown and totally unrelated: a massive pig roast at Bourbon Steak on August 1, which sounds AMAZING.

Shameless Self-Promotion

The Environmental Defense Fund has just released a new video directed at President Obama. After 40 years of false promises, we need him to help pass a climate and energy bill. Check out the vid and add your name to this pledge!

Coming up: Turner's latest MediaMorphosis lunch discussion on August 5. "How can an organization transform itself into the kind of nimble, transparent and inclusive entity that succeeds in a digital world?" Join our own Suzanne Turner, the American Association of University Women, the Environmental Defense Fund and the Service Employees International Union to learn -- and then teach others -- how to fly in a digital world. (Click here to see our future discussions!)

Scorecard

Queenie's off to sunny San Diego next week to do some good old-fashioned social media trainings, but don't fret! She'll be back in time for snark. Let her know if there are things she just HAS to mention next week (and, ugh, no more about LeBron, okay?).

Happy weekend-ing!

The TR: Graham Ain't Gay, Kagan is In and Steele is... Confused

2010-07-02T13:10:00.014-04:00

We've had some issues with our RSS feed, but they're finally fixed! Click here to subscribe to the TR via your favorite reader, and tell all your friends to sign up too. Unless you're copping Queenie's one-liners to impress that cute co-worker of yours. You know what, buddy? They'd like you better if you shared.

Onward!

Forecast

This weekend Afghanistan will be a popular topic, to say the least -- catch McCain on This Week Sunday before he heads over there. Biden's been popping up as well as the "private skeptic and public cheerleader" of the war -- a nice (and by "nice" we mean "scripted") spin after the McChrystal "Joe Bite Me" quotes of last week. But Steele really had the "um, what?" moment today with his showing at a CT fundraiser where he declares that Afghanistan is a lost cause and it is "Obama's war of choice." Sounds like someone escaped the leash -- Steele mirrors sentiments expressed by Dem reluctance to approve the war funding bill.

Economic convo after the G-20 summit last week is centering now around austerity -- and if the public even understands it. Lefties are gettin' behind Kruggers in his declaration that the "confidence fairy" can't save us, and many are pointing to Ireland's current slump after instituting those austerity measures. So how about the U.S.? The latest jobs numbers were released this morning, and the WH had basically nothing to say about it. Topping it off, millions of unemployed will continue to suffer, as the Senate adjourned for the Fourth of July holiday without extending unemployment benefits. Two thumbs down.

Finreg is on its way to Barry's desk -- we hope. A few moderate Republic ans might be coming on board in the Senate, so things look like they're still a go -- but you never really know until it happens (right, Scotty?).

Kagan is probably in... *yawn*. Also, she's not Team Twilight... *double yawn*. Ok, ok, the NRA and Hatch are opposed, but were there any other big stories to come out of this process so far? Jon Stewart sums it up for us.

Hookers for Crist? While we wait to see where the Man With No Party's cash is coming from, one NYT story alleges: the Dem s.

Weeeellp, no need to worry about this one anymore. Sen. Lindsey Graham "ain't gay" and the Tea Party is on the way out. Also, gay mean should go jump off bridges. Wait, did we take that out of context? In case we did, he'll be on a press push this weekend to explain (he already got his great big plug in Playbook this morning) -- read the NYT magazine article here.

The Week That Was

Tropical storm Alex became a hurricane and made landfall Wednesday along the Tex/Mex coastlines. Thankfully, the storm won't do much to hamper oil spill recovery efforts. We learned this week that BP gave big contributions despite a corporate ban, when some of that dough should have gone to research.

Rest in peace, Robert Byrd. The West Virginia senator, the longest serving member of Congress, passed away early Monday at the age of 92. Byrd, who had been in frail health in recent years, is most recently remembered for his outspoken opposition to the Iraq War and his endorsement of Barack Obama during the 2008 campaign, seen as coming full circle with his, er, controversial past.

General David Petraeus was unanimously confirmed to command U.S. forces in Afghanistan after last week's firestorm over his predecessor. General Stanley McChrystal announced his retirement from active duty.

Obama made another push for immigration reform Thursday. The ACLU handed tourists heading to Arizona a travel warning, and police officers warned their colleagues that they're pretty much destined to be accused of racial profiling. (Yep, we'd say so. No pressure, guys!) On the other side, we find a village in Texas missing (another) idiot. Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) says terrorists have a new and evil plan to strike within. Only Jack Bauer can stop the terrorist babies!

Remember those gun rights peeps packing heat a few months back? Well, the Supreme Court struck down a Chicago handgun ban similar to that of the District. Some vulnerable Dems cheered behind the scenes. The Supreme Court also rejected an appeal by the Vatican, which had claimed legal immunity against sex-abuse lawsuits filed in the U.S. Gotta get those rulings in before August -- when bosses flee and interns rule among the dusty tumbleweeds.

The G-20 was held in Toronto, where officials from the world's largest economies met to discuss the financial crisis and deficit reduction. As predicted, there were major protest s, but we also found this video of a raging consumerist. He just wants to stimulate the economy, you guys!

The FBI arrested 11 alleged Russian spies this week, some of whom were in the country for nearly two decades. In other spy news, the U.S. and U.K. released documents that shed new light on operations conducted during World War II and throughout the Cold War. Which begs the question: wasn't Sarah supposed to be keeping watch from home? Or did she quit that too?

Are You Not Entertained?

It's official: Bush (you know, Dubya) has officially been declared "the worst president of the modern era" by presidential scholars. You can't possibly be surprised, y'all. Strategery!

OMG, HARRY POTTER. This has been a great week for movie trailers -- Queenie highly recommends Johnny Depp's latest, Rango, as well. Also up (for the grown-ups in the audience): Let Me In. And this isn't a movie trailer, but we cannot WAIT for Jersey Shore.

Rob Lowe has a new production gig following the lives of so-called up-and-coming Washington politicos. Hit or a dud?

Astronauts don't have sex in space. Allegedly.

Larry King Live is going off the air sometime this fall. He's still around? We kid. Also, is AC preparing to jump ship? CNN, you'd better buckle up.

Interweb Tomfoolery

We've noticed Joe keeping a lower than usual profile in recent weeks, but lucky for us, the Veep doesn't disappoint when he decides to speak his mind.

Queenie's shameless shilling for Zach Anner has yet to stop. Check out part two, "Mt. Bonnell" and part three, "Keep Austin Weird Festival," and go vote!

Google has redesigned Google News, and we think flacks should get to know it a little better. While we agree that users shouldn't hole themselves up in only the news they want to read (expand your horizons a little, peeps), this could be handy for tracking client news and media trends.

Hmm... looks like the Daily Kos has been inadvertently using fraudulent poll numbers for the past year and a half. Happy litigation, amigo!

This might be one of the better attacks on the iPhone 4 we've heard lately, short of a class-action lawsuit (warning: lots of NSFW cursing in that first one. Although you curse-like-sailors media peeps are probably fine).

Tea Party-backed candidate Rick Barber's got a new ad out -- with Honest Abe. Y'all come into the 21st century, ya hear? We've been enjoying the ads so much this political season that this helpful Top 10 list was right up our alley.

NASA astronauts are letting us know they have some class in space.

Is Facebook about to be Google'd? If that makes you uncomfortable, you could always think about quitting social networks altogether -- but it's not as easy as it looks. (PS: What better way to celebrate your company's acquisition by Amazon than... rapping monkeys!)

Out on the Town - Fireworks Edition

Ah, the Fourth -- time for sparkler accidents, ketchup stains and cheesy theme parties that make you feel 'merican. DC, obvi, is a great place to be for this holiday, and the local bloggers around town have happily done all the work for us when it comes to where to go and when (and, uh, what to avoid).

The WaPo has your best bets for the usual local tourist-heavy fare, find alternative fireworks spots here, K Street Kate's got a few insider-ish tips and you cool hipsters can hit up a pool party. Oh, and (phew!) SoberRide is back in business just in time for the parties. Don't blow yourself up, okay?

Hey yogis! DC's 30-Day Yoga Challenge is ON.

You're STILL not sick of soccer? This isn't going to become, like, a fad, is it? *sigh* If you MUST get your game on even though the U.S. is out, the Soccer Mansion is some exclusive, VIP stuff. (PS: Did you catch the game this morning? Queenie did in spite of herself, since Turner Central discovered we have Telemundo. GOOOLLL!)

Scorecard

We love those positive emails you send us! So motivational. Be good this weekend, kiddos, and we'll see you next week for your next prescribed dose of snark.

Until then,

FinReg Is Go, the IPhone is Fail and... Wait, Have We Said Too Much?

2010-06-25T15:14:00.011-04:00

Queenie was hangin' at the Nonprofit 2.0 Unconference today (and so were many of you TR fans, no doubt!) but that doesn't mean she missed any of the snark from this week. There's so much to choose from! So take a break from your hyper-motivated social media-ing and hang out with us. And say hi to Queenie if you saw her there!

Forecast

Oohh, it's been QUITE a week. There's a ton of drama in Washington after General Stanley McChrystal was relieved of his command in Afghanistan. That Rolling St one interview hit like a brick, detailing his criticism of senior administration officials (including Veep Biden) over the war in Afghanistan. This, uh, wasn't the best time for this to happen. McChrystal apologized for the article, but the damage was done. General Petraeus will succeed McChrystal, and liberals will keep pretending like they didn't complain about Petraeus all of last year. Afghanistan will run the Sunday shows since Gates and Rahm say we might have to stay beyond the July 2011 deadline to pull out. Will Joe keep to himself? We seriously doubt it.

The finreg bill has passed! Blanche Lincoln is stood her ground, but was clearly flustered by the opposition to her provision restricting derivatives trading. In the end, Democrats got most of what they wanted. Wall Street will be getting quite the deal with derivatives -- courtesy of Scott Brown. The next bill on the agenda? Climate change before the August break. Go big or go home, y'all!

Breaking Resignation News About Someone Other Than McChrystal: David Weigel, of the Washington Post, has resigned as of today due to some heated emails he sent about, for example, conservatives he'd like to see light themselves on fire. Many pundits and writers are mourning the loss, and it's an interesting addition to the post-Helen Thomas chatter about journalists who have opinions and whether they can be still fair in their reporting.

White House Budget Director Peter Orszag announced his resignation this week. He'll be leaving sometime in July. It's been a grueling year and half for him, with the passage of economic stimulus and HC reform. Other rumors abound that Rahm will leave the White House soon, which would make Sarah's day. We'll believe it when we hear it from Rahm himself.

Ah, the Elena Kagan attacks are finally here!

The 2012 presidential campaign is heating up... at least for Mike Huckabee. He's already moved to Florida, and, folks, read this New Yorker piece. You trying to tell us something, Huck?

Step aside, Arizona -- Fremont, Nebraska is the latest jurisdiction to pass tough immigration law. We smell lawsuits!

The Week That Was

Surprise! BP's initial internal estimate of the spill was far worse than both the company and government were publicly stating. BP had to temporarily lift the cap from the gushing well after one of its robots had a wittle accident. Will a name change be the cure? Also, a federal judge ruled against the administration's temporary moratorium against off-shore drilling. Conflict of interest, anyone?

BP's Tony Hayward had a John Kerry moment over the weekend when he returned to England to take in some yachting. Sigh, yet another bad move in the PR department. (We'll give him half of a cookie for canceling an appearance at the oil conference in London). Hey, if anyone is down there at the spill site, can you let us know if you see any of BP's fake journalis ts milling around?

Republicans and Ben Nelson (jeez, him again?) slapped down the jobless by maintaining a filibuster against modest tax cuts and unemployment benefits. Are Repubs trying to ruin the economy?

Despite all the drama in South Carolina's GOP gubernatorial primary race, Nikki Haley emerged practically unscathed with a commanding victory. Rep. Bob Inglis, also from South Carolina, lost his seat by more than 40 points and became the third House incumbent to bite the dust. Ouch. How crazy will the Senate be if the Tea Partiers make it in? We've all bore witness to their fierce independence. Seriously, you can't have it both ways to be credible. Finally, do you live in one of these awesome Tea Party states? (What color are you guys on the voting map? Brown?)

Senators John Ensign and David Vitter are once again in the news for all the wrong reasons.

Oy, it looks like Texas Democrats have their own version of Alvin Greene on their hands. On the other side of the aisle, we have Republicans looking to criminalize gay marriage and ban pornography and strip clubs. Really? We thought the latter were an RNC s taple.

Some nuggets from Rod Blagojevich's corruption trial: Big donations from the Big Apple and his aide would sometimes sign or veto bills whenever staff couldn't track the governor down.

Mark Sanford was, uh, missing from the office Monday. No need to tell your second-in-command about your whereabouts. Jenny and Mark were briefly reunited at Nikki Haley's victory party.

Are You Not Entertained?

If you know Glenn Beck is in your neighborhood, we urge you to have a picture of Nancy Pelosi on hand!

Oprah is searching for the next host of a TV show on her new cable network, and if you haven't heard of Zach Anner by now we are really surprised. He is in the running to become the O's next star, and with 8 million votes and counting we're hoping it takes it all the way. TEAM ZACH!

Jeopardy got auto-tune d. We were over this whole trend a while ago, but we can't be mad at Alex Trebek. Just look at that face!

A CBS News exec. makes startling confession: We're not covering Afghanistan that much because our correspondent is on maternity leave. So much for a "still resilient" industry...

Jersey Shore Friggin' Update, you guys: the Twilight parody.

Former New York Governor and prostitute patron Eliot Spitzer has a new gig on CNN.

Interweb Tomfoolery

The release of the new iPhone is looking more and more like a slow-motion train wreck. People were lining the streets, and celebs like Jason Bateman were using their star power to be great big jerks and cut the line. (So why did Donald Glover have to wait?) Apple and AT&T are going around canceling orders now. Not only that, but apparently if you hold the phone wrong (for example, in your left hand) you can't make calls. Apple's response? "Don't hold it like that."

We're not the biggest Foursquare fans for our personal lives (no stalking allowed, guys) but for organizations and businesses we totally get it. Turns out C-SPAN gets it too!

Oh, J.D., were you biting your nails and hoping this video didn't resurface during the campaign? Wishful thinking.

This video has been making the rounds, but we can't help but wish we could rep our city for a better reason than crazy Metro dancing. We're cool, we swear!

World Cup, meet Team America.

From top lobbyist to pizza server. How the mighty have fallen!

Out on the Town

Hmm... apparently it's festival time here in DC this weekend, and since it will most likely continue to be almost-100-degree-omg-my-make-up-is-sweating-off weather, slather on the sunscreen and get outside! The Folklife Festival is here -- finally -- focusing on Asian Pacific Americans and Mexico. You can get your jams on at the Del Ray Music Festival in Alexandria. If you still need to dance, head over to the D.C. Caribbean Carnival on Georgia Avenue. And, finally, stuff your face at the National Capital Barbecue Battle -- Queenie went last year and, believe her, it is a tasty time.

Need to work off the grub? The National Press Club's BEAT THE DEADLINE (hah!) 5k is July 17th at 8 am. Start training, journos!

Are you a fan of after-hours parties at art museums? There are more of them around here than you'd think. Phillips After 5 is throwing their next one July 1, and if you want a ticket buy them now. Queenie has learned the hard way not to stand between the beautiful people and those little cups of wine!

If you're trying to go watch the USA play tomorrow, we say: good friggin' luck! Bars will be PACKED, and the supercool viewing party in Dupont will be even worse. We're just warning you, though -- it may be packed, but it will be fun. The energy will be sky-high after last week's win!

Scorecard

What a week! The Barton story tried to come back (we're... sorry?), but McChrystal pretty much took over that news cycle -- hope you didn't try to break anything on Wednesday, folks.

Stay breezy,

The TR: Sucking It Up, Saying You're Sorry and Hitting the Kill Switch

2010-06-18T14:03:00.008-04:00

Queenie wandered away from Turner Central in search of lunch today, and what did she see? Oh, not much -- just the entirely of K Street and Connecticut Ave ripping their hair out during the USA/Slovenia game! And with good reason. (But PLEASE -- stop blaming the women when things go wrong, people!)

Back to work, slackers. Better yet, hang out with us! You're probably still tired from all that post-Lakers game rioting anyway, right?

Forecast

Will anybody be talking about sorry Joe Barton a few weeks from now? After Tony Hayward incurred the fiery wrath of both Dems and Repubs Thursday, Joe Barton flipped it and reversed it. The story probably will die (it's a quick movin' news cycle out there, y'all), especially if Barton follows orders to sit down and shut up. But if Dems (and the foaming-at-the-mouth bloggers who love them) are smart, they'll keep squeezing every last drop out of this gift from the Right (and the gift of Hayward, who has now passed the ball to the next guy). Obama and Democrats are hoping to use the spill to push for a new energy bill, but that's not going over so well.

Does this sneaky Pundit Lunch signify Obama's attempts at winning back the lefty media? (Answer: Um, duh.)

Financial regulatory refor m is moving along, but after Blanche Lincoln's close victory, banks are likely to get the better end of the deal. Meanwhile, mortgage giants Fannie and Freddie are preparing to be de-listed from the New York Stock Exchange. The House and Senate hope to resolve differences before the July 4 recess.

Weekly Kagan Data Dump Update (Dump-Date?): E-mail Edition. T-minus 10 days until hearings begin.

Afghanistan has taken over the news more lately, both for the usual reasons and for new surprises. According to the New York Times, the United States has just discovered $1 trillion worth (or $3 trillion) of untapped mineral deposits in Afghanistan. The discovery could change the military and political landscape of the country. But another journalist claims the U.S. was aware of these resources nearly two years prior.

Ethnic unrest in Kyrgyzstan left thousands dead this week. Even more minority Uzbeks are fleeing to their home country as violence threatens to derail parliamentarian elections -- this is quickly becoming a wide-scale humanitarian crisis.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!? Not so for one Arizona legislator, who wants to make sure children born in the U.S. to undocumented immigrants are not gr anted citizenship under the 14th Amendment. How much squeezing can Arizona take? Well, if Hillary's right, maybe just a BIT more -- in the form of a lawsuit from the White House. Jan Brewer is, er, less than pleased.

The Week That Was

This week the Obama Administration made it's biggest PR push yet to stay on top of the BP oil spill. Barry was in the Gulf for a two-day swing visiting residents, declared that he "can't suck [the oil] up with a straw," and then jetted back to DC for an address to the nation. Unfortunately, most folks tuned out, and his speech may have been too difficult to understand. (Thanks, professor.) He also met with BP's top execs and worked out a tentative deal to create a $20B fund to pay claims. BP still doesn't get the PR game -- and calling people small hasn't exactly worked out. Maybe they should take some cues from their corporate brethren? Also, they shouldn't expect any pats on the back from fellow oil companies, who were grilled themselves on Tuesday.

General David Petraeus fainted Tuesday before a Senate hearing. He swore it wasn't because of the Maverick's questioning.

This week we had more teabaggers making fools out of themselves. Keep it coming! And we're not done yet with crazy campaign ads (and endorsements) from Alabama. Former Democrat-turned-Tea Partier Sharron Angle received a warm welcome on Fox and Friends, but the interview was panned by local affiliates and the DNC. A South Carolina lawmaker is darn proud of his redneck roots, another one is endorsing "lying" Nikki Haley and that last SC candidate -- you know, this guy -- is still going for the win. Finally, one GOP congressional candidate thinks it's a-okay if we placed land mines on our border with Mexico.

While it's been hot and muggy out here, other parts of the country have not fared well in the last week. 20 people perished in severe flash flooding in Arkansas, and Oklahoma City received nearly a foot of water in short time.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah -- taking a picture with another world leader doesn't make you a foreign policy guru. 2012, here we come!

Sweet Jesus! A well-known Ohio landmark was set ablaze by lightning. This is NOT an omen, you guys.

Are You Not Entertained?

Well it took them long enough -- Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford finally tied the knot.

Oprah is a great boss, isn't she?

Queenie, as her most loyal readers know, is a rabid Top Chef fan. And guess what, folks? TOP CHEF DC IS HERE! (By the way... Padma Lakshmi, you CANNOT be dating David Spade. No. Nonono.)

Eugh...remember Balloon Boy? Turns out that young female sailor who needed a rescue (that required a boat and an A330) may have been part of her father's plan for some reality TV. We're still giving HER some props, but seriously, Dad?

Pat Robertson has some great advice for women to keep their husbands faithful.

One more reason to avoid the Bieber bowl-cut: this woman out drinkin' in Maryland was mistaken for the Biebs, causing cops to roll out and investigate. But who had the haircut first?!

Interweb Tomfoolery

Lieberman has proposed an Internet "kill switch," allowing the Prez to shut down the web if there's a natonal crisis. We're not even sure how to answer this, except to tell you that this isn't a new idea -- just a stupid one.

Can ChatRoulette clean up its reputation with penis-recognition software? Or is it destined to forever be "that site with all the penises?"

Yep... creepiest Tweet ever.

H/T to Queenie's favorite sneaky Repub TR informant (it's called bipartisanship, you guys!), who took one for the team: "These photos are SCREAMING for a caption contest."

We know Obama's lookin' to kick someone's ass over the spill, but Rep. Bob Etheridge, took it a bit too far with this "college student." He knows November is just around the corner, right? Also, Meg Whitman allegedly kept it real in the boardroom.

One of Congressman John Campbell's staffers put this story up on his official website. Pro Tip: Reading is fundamental!

People are scooping up those new iPhones like mad! If you haven't already done so, you're out of luck, at least in the near term. Remember, guys: owning Apple products isn't all it's cracked up to be. One more warning to our Apple fans: Arizona has been in the news for far more serious stuff, but this is too pitiful to pass up. If you behave yourself, you can check out the new Apple store that opened today in Georgetown.

Out on the Town

Don't forget! Celebrate Father's Day with your dear ones this weekend. Queenie will either be BBQ'ing or dragging her dad to the Air & Space Museum out in Dulles -- or maybe both (Dad, take note!).

Need some cool ideas? Take the whole family to the Father's Day Fling in MD; get your grub on at Old Ebbitt Grill's block party; check out an Italian street festival; or dance to some blues music in Virginia.

If you need to get your art fix this weekend (and you know we're all about that here at Turner Central), there's a TON of stuff to do. WaPo's Going Out Guides have a great round-up -- and don't forget the Digital Capital Week closing party and Wonder Emporium (best name ever!).

Need some A/C? Toy Story 3. Done.

Shout Outs

Our friends at EDF have put together a beautiful video (set to Glee's version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" -- okay, guys, you got us) about the BP oil disaster. Take a look below, and check out the EDF-recommended Sky Truth, which is using digital mapping and remote sensing tech to show what's really happening in the Gulf and beyond.

Scorecard

Keep waving those flags (or playing those vuvuzelas), sports fans, and finish out this afternoon strong! If you're still not feeling motivated, here's something to cheer you up.

Until next week and as always,

The TR: Kickin' Ass, Rippin' Shirts and Startin' Catfights

2010-06-11T15:37:00.008-04:00

We have had a BUSY flippin' week! But that doesn't mean we don't love you enough to give you your weekly dose of snarkage. Read on and get your Friday done right!

Forecast

Yes, Rep. Melancon -- we are ALL feeling very frustrated with the oil spill. Estimates about just how much oil has spilled into the Gulf are ranging from "a freaking lot" to "holy f$#%," and we're getting more frustrated by the minute. But even this environmental disaster may not be enough to coax Congress into listening to environmentalists.

So is President Obama finally getting into the zone? It's been 50 days since the gushing began and he finally wants to know whose ass he needs to kick. It's... about time? He can always take a lesson from Colbert. The world is also wondering how Admiral Thad Allen is holding up -- check him out on the weekend shows and let us know what you think. Sarah is clearly up-to-date on the spill because she wants the President to get involved, and, you know, giv e her a call for advice. Floridians are swinging the other way when it comes to off-shore drilling. Screw it... let's just bomb the thing.

We're predicting maybe just a few more minutes of fame (maybe infamy) for mystery candidate Alvin Green -- by the way, this is generating some of the best headlines EVER -- but then, what with this crazy news cycle and all the shenanigan-ing, who knows? This thing could last for a while.

While detaining suspected illegal immigrants, U.S. border patrol agents shot a 15-year-old Mexican to death along the border. This incident, tied with Arizona's law will certainly not help immigration reform (which is staying in the news thanks to candidates like Meg Whitman). Speaking of, is this law driving people out of the state?

The European Union and the IMF are joining forces to stave off further economic jitters by creating a $1 trillion bailout fund. Fears are rising that Spain and Portugal could follow Greece in requiring a bailout.

Luckily, World Cup fever has begun! Here's hoping for more trash talk like this between the US and UK Embassies. It's gonna be a GREAT season (and see below for the best spots to ogle some hot soccer players -- Queenie, of course, is just in it for love of the game). Keep track of the scores so far here.

The Week That Was

Another week and another round of primaries across the country this past Tuesday. Women were the big winners! Arkansas senator Blanche Lincoln held off a ferocious primary challenge from Bill Halter. Thank you, Bubba, because everyone predicted her defeat. The White House made a comment on the wasted cash and labor organizations are mad as hell. Harry Reid received a gift (yes?) in Tea Party-darling Sharron Angle's victory. Both Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman, each with millions at their disposal, won their respective primaries. Meg gave a cheap shot for the press (literally), although Carly took the cheapest shot of all. California gold, indeed. But in South Carolina, where Nikki Haley trounced her closest opponent into a runoff, one Democrat won his primary with literally nothing! One last thing -- despite the hype, birther queen Orly Taitz didn't succeed in further embarrassing Cali.

Ah, that attempt at criticizing Kagan we mentioned happened -- a little weakly. Expect a little more as the documents keep rolling in.

Veteran WH journalist Helen Thomas announced her retirement after a controversial video surfaced over the weekend. What a tragic way to end such a distinguished career. There's now a serious battle to claim that front and center seat.

The war in Afghanistan became the longest war in American history, surpassing Vietnam.

Abby Sunderland, who was attempting to become the youngest person to sail solo around the world (and who has been garnering an admirable amount of press coverage while doing so) was temporarily lost at sea after her yacht was damaged in a storm. She's been found, and we are wowed by this strong young woman. Props, Abby! (PS: What have YOU accomplished today?)

Are You Not Entertained?

Is that Obama rapping? That is so '90s.

Someone snapped a picture of Keanu Reeves alone on a bench, and it's turned into the latest Photoshopped celebrity Internet meme: Sad Keanu. Cheer up, Neo!

Did Sarah Palin get a boob job? ...More of the world cares about this than we thought possible. And don't lie to Queenie OR yourself -- you totally clicked!

Are you a Mormon, lazy Christian, sports nut or rebellious woman? (Queenie happily claims the last, thanksverymuch!) Then you'd better watch out!

Interweb Tomfoolery

The ex-Prez has issued his "Inaugural Address" as FB President 4 Life. We're not sure if you care, but he already has almost 200,000 "fans" -- this is a flashback we never wanted.

It's no iPad (although that magical device IS the newest White House toy) -- Apple launched the newest version of the venerable iPhone this week. Steve had some tech difficulties but the fans obliged to his request. But so much for the good hype: we're back to security breaches.

Often, we're asked why we have an office in Omaha, NE. Well, kids, our Omaha office gave us the answer. And we quote: "Bet you didn't know Omaha was THIS thug!"

For many of us tech gurus, this is what some fear could happen to us.

Who loves Super Mario Bros. and stop-motion film? Turner Central does!

Apparently Twitter believes some folks inside the Washington bubble are having trouble doing the Tweet thing. Not us! Also, how not to be a Twitter "dork."

Brian McCrary was ticketed for speeding, and boy, was he mad -- but he got his revenge.

Out on the Town

It's Friday, and if you've had a week anything like Turner Central has, you're ready for a drink. Wine enthusiasts, please head to the National Building Museum for Toast o f the Town. Jazz fans, high-five Queenie at Jazz in the Garden. And tech nerds, we KNOW the Digital Capital Week Opening Party is already on your Google calendar (free PBR? What kind of hipster-fest IS this?).

This may seem out of the ordinary for Queenie, but turns out she's a complete festival dork. Find her at the Potomac Celtic Festival this weekend buying some awesome leatherwork, cheering at rugby matches and chillin' with the rest of her Scotch/Irish peeps. If that's too far away for you, the National Harbor Food & Wine festival is right across the river.

However, sports fans know: this weekend is all about the World Cup. Watch the epic U.S./England match at the pool, in the middle of Dupont Circle, or in any nu mber of bars across the DMV. Pro Tip: Remember to wear two shirts, so you don't get any public indecency charges after your fave team scores. Just trying to help, folks!

Scorecard

Enjoy those games, keep an eye on that mysterious candidate and come back next Friday for more.

The TR: Capping the Flow, Busting Out the Slurs and Lobbying for... Corn!

2010-06-04T15:43:00.007-04:00

We love some summer thunderstorms, but this nearly-100-degrees business is just... gross. Time to start planning more summer vacations, no? And what with this positive news about the economy, we're sure you can afford something spectacular this year. Probably not Florida, though.

Turn up the A/C, kick back and snark with us for a while, won't you?

Forecast

Is this really doomsday for Obamaland? Pundits and wonks alike have been either triumphant or down in the dumps about the recent set of fiascos. But Gibbs is stubbornly insisting that they ain't dead yet. The Sestak story might be fading, but this new non-offer by White House Deputy Chief of Staff Jim Messina is not something Obama wants on his plate, along with the BP debacle.
Unsurprisingly, markets fell after the jobs report was released today, but experts warned not to read too much into this or any other single report. But... people will anyway. When you've got charts like this one, it's hard not to.

The cap is on! But will it work? BP's "top kill" attempt to stop the gushing oil spill failed, after some confusio n. The oil slick reached Mississippi and Alabama, and the "giant globs of shit" are making their way to the Sunshine State. Guess that 60 or 70 percent chance thing didn't turn out that well. At least their PR shop (and some of DC's PR shops too!) know how to stage a good photo-op, and they should take comfort from one Louisiana senator. Considering the oil company's track record of success in this disaster, we figure it won't be until August (or much later, according to one investor) when this thing might be contained. And then we'll truly be able to see the immediate impact of the spill on the environment and local residents.

The Elena Ka gan docs are out. Let the out of context accusations begin!

Tensions are rising in the global community after Israeli troops raided a flotilla of boats headed for Gaza. Journalists are having trouble reporting the news. Meanwhile, the UN and NATO are calling for investigations. Israeli's prime minister canceled a previously planned visit to Washington this week to handle the situation.

The Week That Was

This past Tuesday, primaries were held in Alabama, Mississippi, and New Mexico. Rep. Arthur Davis lost his bid to become the first African-American governor of Alabama. Meanwhile, Democrat-turned-Republican Parker Griffith lost his seat. Join the party, Parker! Finally, New Mexico will elect its first female governor in November.

Illinois GOP senate candidate Mark Kirk followed in Richard Blumenthal's steps by misrepresenting an award received while serving the the Navy, and claiming service in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Dude, wasn't your record good enough already? Also, Blumenthal's opponent had some trouble remembering what she majored in.

You know, this isn't the first time we've mentioned the PR people for the corn industry. They're back at it with a $1m campaign.

Those Texas lobbyists know how to reach their lawmakers posthaste!Nevada Tea Party candidate Scott Ashjian shows us what the fiscal responsibility mantle is all about.

Holy crap, South Carolina! When you bring the crazy, you bring the crazy. Just... stop it with the slurs, would you?

After 40 (!!!) years of marriage, former Vice President Al Gore and Tipper called it quits. The next time Queenie saw Gore in the news was when he was talking about giving his slideshow again. Did you lose a little of the passion there, Al?

Are You Not Entertained?

D'oh! Woohoo! Indeed. Homer Simpson beat out the likes of Harry Potter and Buffy to become the greatest character created for television and film in the last 20 years.

Conan is still on tour, and his dance-off against Stephan Colbert and Jon Stewart had this Queen of Snark literally LOL-ing. And that doesn't happen often!

Make that SIR Patrick Stewart. Well deserved, Captain!

A follow-up on the M.I.A. story: she wins! Sort of. Hey, when you make the N.Y.T. issue a correction, you win on SOME level.

Paul McCartney was in town. Who needs bad news when you can sing Hey Jude with Barack?

R.I.P. Rue McClanahan.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Mark Zuckerberg melted into a tepid puddle of shame this week while facing down questions about FB's privacy issues. We recommend you fire your media trainer, STAT. Speaking of FB and puddles of shame, Dubya joined up -- talk about a complete turnaround on privacy!

Pro Tip: Don't check into Foursquare from Tiananmen Square, or this might happen.

The All Things Digital conference happened this week, and NPR took the time to present their more humorous side. Oh, and a new effing tote.

Michelle Obama and Harry Reid are now workout buddies, and the Bidens visit Sesame Street.

We've heard about this happening, but we never thought it was real: this woman TRUSTED Google with her walking directions and they clearly let her down. She can't possibly be held responsible for wandering onto a highway!

British Airways, still in the middle of a strike, made a terrible gaffe. We don't think the world's most wanted man is going to be flying anytime soon.

The latest viral video craze gives a bad name to drunk drivers everywhere... but makes a decent case for flying cars.

Out on the Town

If you're a DC-Metro native like Queenie, you may remember the demise of HFS -- the better alt-rock radio station in town. And you may have gone to a few HFStivals in your time, like Queenie. Well, then you might be as excited as Queenie to hear that HFStival is BACK -- with an old school line-up (Billy Idol, anyone?). Queenie will be starting her summer concert series off right with The National on Sunday.

The Capitol Pride Festival kicks off this weekend, and so does the Capital Jazz Festival. If you're more into beer, we've got that covered too. What's that? Still hungry? BBQ to the rescue!

Hanging out with the kiddies? Get your creativity on in Bethesda. Or let them have a night in the museum (minus the CGI T-Rex skeleton or Ben Stiller's questionable acting skills).

Scorecard

It was a short week (and a bit of a TR-lite) but it sure didn't feel like it. Enjoy your weekend to the max, and we'll see you next Friday!

The TR: Failing PR 101, Putting Up Fences and Dodging GOP Twitterbombs

2010-05-28T15:01:00.010-04:00

Do you have fantabulous plans for the three day weekend? We felt it important to give our readers something to do while they work ~~on their excuses to leave early~~ diligently through all of Friday. So, voila -- a snarky kick-start to your afternoon! It's healthier (and cheaper -- thanks, DC...) than Red Bull, right?

Forecast

Barry is under seri ous fire from all sides and is currently trying to s how us that he's on top of that massive oil slick (quite literally, since he's in Louisiana today). But the question of how much the government can do versus what BP is already doing has been raised non-stop this week. (Guess who was on hand to explain the science, btw? Bill Nye!) The criticism is coming even from teammates: James C. is always the liveliest on subjects concerning his home state. WH officials are fighting hard (with less coverage nowadays) to make sure this disaster does not become a political nightmare, but it looks like BP's CEO is creating his own PR fol lies. And BP's got another headache in the form of its Trans-Alaska Pipeline -- does this mean Sarah is coming to the rescue?

Another potential PR fail lies in Sestak-gate -- the potentially shady business surrounding an alleged WH job offer that would have kept Sestak from running. Of course, the legality of all this is not what this media maven would call The Fail; it was the silence on the iss ue up 'til now that made Republican tongues wag and Democratic hair turn prematurely gray.

The White House came on board to a compromise that might finally lead to a repeal to the Pentagon's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. The House and the Senate Armed Services Committee have both voted in favor of the repeal, but its implementation could be more than a year away. We're just happy to see this one moving!

Tensions are rising on the Korean peninsula after the North severed all ties with it's neighbor. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton took a hard-line against North Korea, and, after an initially cool response, China is talking to South Korea about sanctions.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will be paying a visit to President Obama next Tuesday. The Israeli leader was personally invited by Rahm on a vacation to Israel. Are things warming up between the two nations?

Sarah has a new neighbor and the former governor isn’t happy about the intrusion. Journalist Joe McGinniss is moving into a home owned by a woman crossed by the Palins (that’s karma for ya!). And Greta showed off the totally awesome craftsma nship of their new "privacy" fence. As funny as this is... it's also totally creepy. We've said it before: leave her family be.

The Week That Was

Obama ordered 1,200 troops to our border with Mexico to beef up security (and placate some right-wingers). The President was also out west for a fundraiser, where he was heckled, yet again. He took a swipe at Senate Republicans for their lunchtime frankness.

This wasn't a great week for schools and educators in the southwest. Arizona is moving along to make sure those heavily-accented English teachers "improve" or be shown the door. Some folks down in Texas are giving a big thumbs up for a revised textbook curriculum that tones down criticism of things like the Red Scare and Senator Joe McCarthy's anti-communist witch hunt. Also, the United Nations is a very bad organization. And California, you're not off the hook, either.

FinReg? Meh.

Tired of Tickle Me Massa? Esquire isn't, and we just had to share their story with you. Sorry, Eric, but some things you say are WAY out there.

As if Rand Paul wasn't alr eady nuts (Mitch says so), his spokesman has driven further into the depths of insanity. North Carolina Republicans are turning against one of their own. Tim D'Annunzio finished first in the primary, but they don't want him! He's, uh, crazy. Are the allegations against Nikki Haley a smear, or something really going on? Harry Reid might catch a breath in his tough re-election battle against a rising Tea Party star. Finally, a GOP candidate was caught plagiarizing Obama. This guy's been in the doghouse before, and Sarah's kiss of death did the poor man in. Somehow, that doesn't surprise us.

Charles Djou became the first Republican in the Hawaii congressional delegation in twenty years. A shout out to the two Democrats who split 58% of the total vote -- sharing is caring! (Pro tip: THAT WAS SARCASM.) Anyway, don't expect to see Charles cruising to victory in November.

Tea Partiers are fuming over Scotty's recent votes. His staff should expect some tea bags in the mail, stat.

Are You Not Entertained?

We edit, you decide.

You didn't go see SATC 2, did you? If you did, *sigh* fine. We hope you enjoyed every minute. If you didn't, check out these top 10 review slams of this non-anticipated sequel.

A loooong NYT profile of rapper/singer/mom M.I.A. is now being slammed by the artist herself in some angry Tweets and an angry posting of the journalist's cell phone num ber. Journalists will, of course, characterize this as whining, but, hey, there's always a silver lining. Free publicity for eeeveryone!

Be careful at the wax museum, y'all -- Ozzy Osbourne (not surprisingly) spent some time scaring people at Madame Tussauds in this hilarious video. Ozzy's lumbering his way into "Silly Old Grandpa... of Darkness" territory, isn't he?

Ah, another day, another Ponzi scheme by an "investor to the stars." Yawn.

This cop in Santa Monica, CA is tough. No excuses allowed for this live reporter.

The rapper 50 Cent put out very surprising photos of himself after dropping 60 pounds to play a college football player diagnosed with cancer. Never thought we'd say this, but we hope 50 is actually a good actor, because damn... how sad would it be if he didn't end with SOME kind of award?

Interweb Tomfoolery

Apple's got the money. Didn't we know that already, though? When you have the type of rabid fans who are willing and able to shell out $500 to $800 for a fun new toy, you're probably doing okay.

Dammit, Google! Some of us had work to do last week!

We HAD to put this in: check out this video of an 8-month-old deaf toddler when he begins to hear again. In other adorable baby video news, check it: Iron BABY!

The ultimate face-palm moment of the week: Fox News announcing launch of website targeting Latino viewers. How will they spin this? And here's an example of a failed press release.

We didn't believe it until we read it: Sorry chickens, you won't be welcome at the voting booth.

House Democrats unveiled their New Media Caucus. Kinda rough timing though -- the GOP has got y'all beat with their forum-based site that's sure to write their agenda for them. And... wait... oh no... did someone teach Michael Steele to Twitter-bomb?!

J.D. Hayworth can't get his history right -- McCain just might have a chance now.

The Pentagon's recipe for brownies. Don't read too much into it.

Out on the Town

Queenie will be kicking off the start of Jazz in the Garden this evening (if the weather holds out). And with any luck she'll be hitting up a pool party or two over the next couple of days -- Camp Camp, perhaps?

For the intellectually-inclined, A Prairie Home Companion is at Wolftrap tonight and Saturday. For the Adam Sandler-inclined, Happy Gilmore is showing over in Rosslyn tonight.

Whatever you do, it's a holiday weekend so you should celebrate appropriately. The National Memorial Day Concert will be held in front of the Capitol Sunday. Additional patriotism can be found at Wolftrap on Sunday with the USMC band. Finally, check out the photo opps at the Sunset Celebration at Mount Vernon.

Scorecard

There is almost too much to write about these days! We didn't even mention the volcanoes, the nuclear conference or Foxconn. But, noted news junkies as we are, we do our best to stay on top of the scene -- and we've been hearing all week from some devoted fans that we've been doing pretty good so far (shout outs to the Green Media Toolshed happy hour folks!). If you have tips or comments, don't be afraid to tell us!

Have a great holiday,

The TR: Rand Paul Brings the Crazy, Scott Brown Saves FinReg and Justin Bieber Runs Into a Door

2010-05-21T16:01:00.010-04:00

That nasty, humid, sticky DC weather is officially here. Granted, Queenie just spent several days in Florida, which was pretty much the same deal, but at least there was a beach! Anyway, she's back and ready to snark it up. Are you?

Forecast

The finance reform bill has passed the Senate (thanks, Scott Brown)! ...And now it's time to sell it to the people, AND to smooth out the differences between Senate and House bills so Barry can sign this by July 4. If you haven't been following this legislation closely (we can't imagine why not!), WaPo has the helpful graphic that should help sort it out.

The oil spill is worse than we suspected, kiddos. BP is still struggling under the weight of massive fail as oil reach es the Louisiana shore. And, of course, Rand Paul is comfortable asserting himself as "snark fodder for the next foreseeable few weeks" by declaring that it is unpatriotic to criticize BP. Thank you, Rand -- we're happy you're here too.

Elena Kagan has been under increasing scrutiny and will continue to be leading up to her June 23 Senate confirmation hearing. Queenie, personally, is highly annoyed at all the speculation into Kagan's sex life -- there are plenty of other things to worry about! In other SC news, looks like none of the SC Justices will be Twitting anytime soon.

International news update: Thailand has reached a shaky peace after clashes between Red Shirt protesters and police neared anarchy; Pakistan has started blocking social networking sites after the creation of a Facebook page calling for drawings of the Prophet Muhammad; and Mexican president Felipe Calderón asked for help stopping drug violence in Mexico and condemning the Arizona illegal immig ration law. It doesn't do any of these stories justice to squeeze this all into one paragraph, but 1. this is a short newsletter (usually) and 2. you'll hear plenty more about them, we're sure!

Lou Dobbs is going to be speaking at a summer Tea Party convention in Sin City. Pop quiz! Which part of this story is ironic?

The Week That Was

Did you watch the returns for Tuesday's primaries? Tea Partiers made their mark (haha) in Kentucky by sending Rand Paul to victory. Here comes the fallout: he's got a teensy problem explaining his position on civil rights. In Arkansas, Blanche Lincoln was forced into a run-off by Lt. Governor Bill Halter. But, by far, the biggest news was Arlen Specter's defeat at the hands of Congressman Joe Sestak.

Rep. Mark Souder of Indiana resigned his seat after admitting that he had an affair with one of his staffers (which is apparently, uh, not against the House rules). Watch the former congressman and that same staffer talk about abstinence. These stories write themselves nowadays, don't they?

In other Congressional mistress news, former New York congressman Vito Fossella was nominated by the Staten Island GOP establishment to run for his former seat. Remind us what family values are, again?

Another disappointment from the Lone Star state: turns out Texas Governor Rick "Secessionist" Perry can't keep his hands out of the cookie jar. That's quite a rental home. What say you, teabaggers?

This week we mark a somber milestone -- the death of the 1000th American in Afghanistan. Our hearts go out to the families of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.

Are You Not Entertained?

Conservatives and whackjobs started a firestorm over the new Miss U.S.A. winner Rima Fakih. We don't even want to acknowledge the controversy over her clothes or the stripper pole thing; we're more concerned with CNN asking if she's a spy and others asking if she's part of an Islamist conspiracy.

John Edwards is desperate to stay out of jail and apparently is working for a plea deal. Worried about that hair, Johnny?

Bristol, honey, just because your mother can rake in the dough doesn't mean you're going to be a hit (although props for trying, we guess?). All that money must mean she's hired a few good nannies, though, right? So that child will be raised right? By... someone?

Tween news alert! Justin Bieber ran into a door and the Jonas Brothers were trapped in an elevator. Clearly, this is a conspiracy.

The LOST finale is happening on Sunday (here's your requisite drinking game), and countries are simulcasting it worldwide to block the Interweb Pirates from posting spoilers. Now, if only we could get this kind of global unity around things that matter, amirite?

Interweb Tomfoolery

Have you seen the Google logo today? Pro Tip: You can actually play the game, folks! Speaking of the big G, Google TV is coming -- check out this handy explanatory video to figure out what the hell it is and read this to find out why you'll actually like it. And they need the good press -- looks like they've been swept up in the privacy narrative that already has a death grip on Facebook.

Apple update: take a look at a testy e-mail exchange between the Apple king and a blogger; Bill Maher thinks Steve can run the country better than our president; Sex and the City has succumbed to product placement and gone PC; and apparently this Android business is a "slap in Apple's face." It's hard not to be the underdog, huh? Oh, and this video of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs together and saying backwards things is a must-see!

Queenie always knew she wanted a non-traditional wedding.

London's unveiling of the new Olympic mascots has resulted in the most awesome Photoshop contest ever.

We haven't been loving Nike lately (check out our friend Anne Mai Bertelsen's piece on Roethlisberger) but we do love this epic Nike ad about the World Cup.

We actually thought this was a Photoshop prank or something, but apparently Huggies Jeans -- yes, diapers that look like jeans -- are f'real.

Out on the Town

DC Yoga Week is almost over! Did you get your sun salutations in? In other fitness news, you can tour the city and pretend like you don't sit for 40+ hours a week with WalkingTownDC.

If you're a Top Chef freak and foodie like Queenie is, you might want to go see Anthony Bourdain and Eric Ripert at the Warner Theater tonight. $10 says Tony talks about nothing but sausage, booze, drugs and more sausage.

Queenie will be checking out the Asia Heritage Foundation's street fair on Saturday, where she'll be supporting her friends in the Bollywood Flash Mob (you didn't hear it from us!). If you're less than coordinated (and hungry!) hit up the DC 101 Chili Cook-Off. And the word is that a member of the Turner Central Royal Family will be dancing to some '80s jams that night.

Finally, Sunday will be a blast: get your record collection bulked up at the Black Cat, dance and eat and dance some more at 930 Club, and (for all you fangirls and boys out there) WATCH LOST.

Scorecard

Didja miss Queenie, or did our Executioner do such a fine job that you forgot she existed? It's okay. The TR is a team effort, y'all -- Queenie likes to share credit!

The TR: Supreme Courting, BP Blues, and Primary Upsets

2010-05-14T11:48:00.024-04:00

What's with the weather this week? Lots going on: Supreme Court posturing, BP in denial, politics across the Atlantic, and a healthy anniversary.

The forecast is a tumultuous one!

Forecast

As predicted, President Obama nominated current solicitor general Elena K agan to replace John Paul Stevens on the Supreme Court. And just as predictable, Republicans are geari ng up for a big fight. Oklahoma's Jim Inhofe was first out the gate to voice his firm opposition of Kagan (he voted against her nomination for solicitor general as well). It's going to be bloody confirmation battle-the left and right are going after Obama's pick. Her nomination has also caused quite a stir in the Pennsylvania Senate race.

On that note--how many teabaggers does it take to oust an incumbent United States Senator? Delegates at Utah's GOP convention gave Robert Bennett the boot, with a little help from the Club for Growth. They are looking beyond the west, seeking to influence another high-profile race in Kentucky. Also, Maine Republicans have sadly adopted the 'rational insight' of the Tea Party (and literally caused some damage, in the process). Stay tuned-this primary season is going to be a roller coaster!

Senators Kerry and Lieberman introduced their version of climate change legislation on Wednesday. Missing was South Carolina's Lindsey Graham. Not feeling the love, Lindsey? Kerry and Lieberman still have a ways to go to find votes, and work with House colleagues, so it may be a while before we see any action.

Obama's angry, really angry, at the Republicans. Can he rally the base before November?

Seven more states announced they are joining twelve others to challenge the provision in the health care law that penalizes Americans who don't buy insurance. How long will this drag out?

The Week That Was

BP's effort to contain that massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico have so far f ailed. Looks like garbage is their backup solution. If that doesn't work, they'll use a tube. Execs of BP, Halliburton, and Transocean were on the Hill blaming each other for the mess. And BP FINALLY releases a 30-second video of the ongoing leak. Will anyone take full responsibility?

The GOP candidate in Hawaii's 1st congressional district is on his way to victory. Get it together, Hawaii Dems! The DCCC has pulled out, and Obama won't endorse either Democratic candidate. Also, 14-term West Virginia representative Alan Mollohan was trounced in the Democratic primary.

Republicans chose Tampa for their 2012 national convention. We wonder where convention-goers will be tempted to relax for entertainment. Where will the Dems hold theirs?

Phoenix is feeling the pain from organizations relocating events elsewhere in the wake of Arizona's tough immigration law. And the governor disappoints us again by targeting ethnic studies courses. Meanwhile, the Governator was at Emory to deliver his commencement address and couldn't resist wading into the controversy.

Afghan President Hamid Karzai was in Washington, D.C. as tensions between Afghanistan and the U.S. have cooled in recent months. Karzai and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton a cknowledged differences but pledged to work together.

Laura Bush comes out in favor of gay marriage and is also pro-choice. A little PR stunt for her upcoming book? Of course.

Supporters of auditing the Federal Reserve received a small gift this week when the Senate voted 96-0 to attach an amendment for a one-time audit to the financial services bill. Americans are also paying les s taxes than they were since 1950.

Devastating tornadoes touched down across Oklahoma and Kansas. We're praying for you all and for a strong recovery.

Space Shuttle Atlantis lifted off from the Kennedy Space Center in Floria for what is likely to be its last planned flight, ahead of the retirement of the current shuttle program.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford spent some time in Florida, (not quite as south as Argentina), with his lover, mistress, er...whomever. Don't worry--he's only got months to go before he leaves office!

The end of Labour's reign in the United Kingdom: Gordon Brown resigned this week. So much back and forth negotiations. Want to read a blow-by-blow account of the flurry of events? And, was a big banker the person who sealed the deal?

Greece is out of woods-barely. But it's going to take a heckuva lot of cash to pull the Eurozone out of this funk. German Chancellor Angela Merkel, took a hit for supporting the bailout.

Are You Not Entertained?

She's still got in in her! Betty White debuted as host of SNL. She rocked, and the ratings soared!

Looking for an entertaining read? Newsweek's Jonathan Alter has a book due out next week, and it has some rather embarrassing tidbits about the French first couple. Sorry, Michelle!

This week, Jon Stewart took a look at a Tennessee pastor who attracts people to his flock with a jab and a punch. Oy!

Rihanna tries the Moonwalk. No one can be follow in Michael's footsteps.

Law & Order fans are understandably saddened by rumors of the long-running show's cancellation. Good Ol' Fred Thompson shares his thoughts.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Ohio Dems launched this website in response to a GOP ad attacking Lee Fisher. Provocative or just plain silly? Also, check out this ad running down in Alabama. Someone really wants to win!

Ladies, technology will make you happier! But it's also an absolute necessity in the PR world.

Does Obama really hate the iPad?

Stealing legally: We smell a reality show coming!

We'll give her a star for making the effort to arrest Karl Rove. Granny knows best!

Oh, no, the series of tubes is running out of space.

Tweeting can be such a life-saver.

Out on the Town

We have a couple folks here at Turner who swear by yoga to unwind, so we're letting you all know about Yoga on the Mall this weekend!

Travel to Northwest, Greek enthusiasts, for a weekend of food, music, dance, and tours at the Saint Sophia Cathedral's Spring Greek Festival.

If you have some more time, head out to Andrews Air Force Base, for the 2010 Joint Service Open House and Airshow.

Shameless Self-Promotion

Seats are going fast for Turner's MediaMorphosis luncheon series, designed to teach nonprofits how to tell their stories in the changing media environment. Our very own Suzanne Turner will be moderating the first discussion, "Battered Journalism: Nonprofits to the Rescue?" Register before it's too late!

Also, don't forget to tune in to Fem2.0 Blog Radio next Tuesday. We'll have New York Times journalist and best-selling author Judith Warner on the show to discuss her latest book.

Scorecard

Elena Kagan's confirmation process will likely last through the beginning summer. The teabaggery won't go away, it seems, and woes for folks along the Gulf will be front page news for the foreseeable future.

Katie Stanton, Queen of Snark, is on vacation in sunny Florida, and she'll be back next week. Give her a warm welcome back!

Enjoy your weekend, and we'll see you next time!

--The Royal Executioner

The TR: Stock Market Panic, Arizona Boycotts and Saving Greece

2010-05-07T15:39:00.012-04:00

Nerves are wearing pretty thin, aren't they? Everyone's on the edges of their seats tracking oil slicks, election polls, financial reform legislation, Arizona boycotts, Supreme Court picks... So you'd think it'd be understandable to make a typo or two now and then, right?

(Ah! Did you hear that? The sweet sound of someone getting FIRED.)

Watch those fingers carefully, kids. And read on for some stress relief from the snarkosphere!

Forecast

Greece has been suffering riots this week as the government enforces "austerity measures" to contain the damage. (We have to put this in, btw, even if we suspect Photoshopping: meet Kanellos, the Greek Riot Dog!) Germany has stepped in to save Greece from bankruptcy, but the contagion effect is already in full force -- fears and doubts have caused global markets to fall today, and continue to encourage right-wing fearmongers to yell about U.S. tax dollars going to this bailout. Spoiler alert: Not so much.

Back home, we're a smidge more concerned with an oily mess that keeps getting bigger. The containment dome is on the move, but no one knows for sure if it will work. The most fragile victims of "Obama's Katrina" are now washing ashore. Could hair save the gulf coast? BP's CEO said his company stopped circulating settlement agreements with a maximum value of $5k to coastal residents. Talk about a PR fail. Brownie from Katrina made a fool out of himself on Cavuto (and watch Gibbs' snarky retort to Fox News). Congress will definitely be holding hearings to get to the bottom of this disaster -- if not to score some political points (omg, climate bill!).

Over the weekend there was a bomb scare in Times Square. Cheers to the street vendor who alerted cops! Authorities arrested Faisal Shahzad just as his flight to Dubai was about to take off. The conversation is moving on, however, to the NRA's support for terrorists b uy ing guns and if Obama's administration "lucked out" when this plot was thwarted. What with all this great press the Justice Department and Holder are getting, we are not surprised that he's trying to ride the wave into a guest spot on Entourage. Oh, why not? Eric, we'll give you one tiny little cameo and then it's straight back to work.

Financial regulatory reform is moving a bit faster than a snail's pace. First, we can't let some Dems off the hook for protecting the biggest of the biggest, to end "Too Big To Fail." Obama pressed lawmakers to keep stronger protections for consumers and wasn't afraid to go after the watered-down GOP proposal. Democrats led by Bernie Sanders struck a deal yesterday to limit a one-time audit of the Fed's lending activities, and protected the creation of a new consumer protection agency. A vote will likely come next week. Dry stuff!

Obama will be announcing his Supreme Court pick Monday, and all odds are on Kagan.

In case you missed it: The merger between United and Continental will go forward, pending a go ahead from DOJ, creating the world's largest airline. It's not all good news.

Got plans for next September 11?

The Week That Was

The Dow took its biggest roller coaster ride so far yesterday. Websites were shutting down left and right, and the media erupted in manic babbling (send a thank you to Jim Cramer, by the by). Many have been blaming the dip on the mystical "fat fingered trader," but really, it's a perfect storm of fear. Between anxiety over European financial collapse, anxiety over the future of bank regulation and anxiety over which button on the keyboard to push, the metaphorical dam had to burst. Get your t-shirts now.

The Arizona boycotts are rollin', as more stood up this week against these racist laws. Latino support for McCain has dried up. Arizona is pulling for bipartisan consensus (goooood luck) to repair some of the damage, but, as we've been saying all along, the issue will not go away until it is properly addressed. If you're not white and headed to Arizona, the A.C.L.U. knows how to help.

The end of spring also marks the beginning of primary season. Voters went to the polls in Indiana, North Car olina and Ohio. The Tea Party-endorsed candidates didn't fare well. What ever happened to voting incumbents out or taking back the country? Let's be real about who they really are. Speaking of candidates, Sarah's under fire after her endorsement of Fiorina -- her normally "safe" Facebook page has been taken over by unhappy fans, and speculation about her defiance of the Tea Partiers is raging. You guys, Sarah doesn't care. She's gonna do whatever the hell she wants, just because she can.

Rep. David Obey, chair of the House Appropriations Committee, stunned us all by announcing his retirement. Read his entire statement (for all its Dubya-bashing commentary) here. But seriously, Wisconsin, do you really want to send a reality star to Washington? ...Well, we've seen worse, we guess.

South Carolina's attorney general cleared Governor Mike Sanford of criminal conduct related to his trips to see his lover in Argentina and alleged misuse of state aircraft. Ain't it nice to have a buddy who just happens to be attorney general? In related news, disgraced former congressman James Traficant has filed papers to run in Ohio. Has Elvis returned?

Boston was running a little drier this past week thanks to a break in a major water pipeline. Water is now safe to drink again. Starbucks lovers rejoice! The Southeast received too much water, as flooding took more than two dozen lives. Of course, none of you knew about that at all, as apparently the media completely ignored Nashville. You tell 'em, Newsweek! Before WaPo sells you!

Are You Not Entertained?

In case you missed Obama killin' it at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, you can watch it here. Meanwhile, Justin Beiber managed a wave at the POTUS, though he may require a little more educatin'.

Miley Cyrus is scanda- you know what, no. Stop being surprised at this "becoming the next Britney" thing. It's inevitable!

Want to know what Glenn Beck's show would be like if he made sense?

Another day, another gay sex scandal. And another rape scandal. Yawn.

Poor Bristol. Honey, let your mom be the media spectacle, okay? You're much better off staying under the radar.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Queenie is noticing more and more of her friends leaving Facebook lately, in no small part due to the privacy glitch that occurred on Wednesday. But it's not the end of the service, kiddos -- don't forget that this is a corporation that is invested in your information. They don't HAVE to listen to you. (PS: They're trying to distract you with some shiny new services now. Be strong!)

Michelle Obama's first tweet! Well, kind of.

This Florida state senator needed a little distraction while on the job. Thanks for reminding us that you stand up for family values! Colbert takes a look at another hypocrite exposed.

This is freaking ridiculous -- Ellen, did Apple really make you apologize for making a parody iPhone commercial? And you actually CAVED? Comedians make jokes, people laugh, the end. And heads up, Apple -- it IS hard to text on an iPhone! So there!

Hey, Apple fan-kids. We're sorry we just made you feel bad about Ellen. We'll make it up to you: find your Apple love match today, and commiserate about it with someone other than that gadget in your hand, okay?

Out on the Town

A slightly slower weekend! We needed the break.

If you MUST find a party, the Capitol Skyline Hotel is having their first pool party of the season on Saturday, starting at noon. And the European Union, while simultaneously watching the stock market, will be holding an open house Saturday as part of Passport DC. Finally, the Smithsonian is celebrating Space Day -- take the kiddies to meet an astronaut, talk to astronauts living on the International Space Station and build their own rockets.

Queenie's plan, of course, is to go see Iron Man 2. Duh!

Shameless Self-Promotion

Here's an interesting piece by a former Turner team member about how social media is INCREDIBLY effective at organizing grassroots demonstrations. Take a lesson!

Scorecard

Queenie's taking a hard-won vacation next week, so she'll be checking in from afar. In the meantime, Royal Executioner Jon Soohoo will be taking the reins, so lend him a hand and send him some tips!

See you in two weeks!

The TR: Arizona's Implosion, Carl Levin's [expletive] Deals and Crist's Way Out

2010-04-30T14:27:00.013-04:00

Buenas tardes, queridos amigos! Shoot, sorry -- don't tell Tim James that Queenie sometimes USES the Spanish she learned in college. She's an English major! Really! She has her documentation to prove it!

Snark-about-the-third-place-candidate aside, it's been a wild week. Let's get to it.

Forecast

Obama toured the heartland this week, starting with Iowa. Almost brings us back to 2007, don't it? His message to the people: Wall Street and Washington don't understand Main Street, and it's all the Republicans' fault for blocking reform. Teabaggers were looking to cause a ruckus ahead of his visits, natch. Is this tour a preview of what's coming up for 2010 and 2012?

Arizona governor Jan Brewer signed into a law what is likely the toughest immigration legislation in the country. Thousands protested the governor's action at the state capitol, and Obama gave supporters of the measure a sharp rebuke. Tourists are taking a hike, and cities across the country are looking to put their money elsewhere. But, while everyone is duking it out over the new law, you might not have noticed that, on the following day, the governor made Arizona the first of many states to limit abortion coverage in state health exchanges. Some of her fellow GOP'ers are going further with even nuttier proposals. Will we see comprehensive immigration reform? The answer is... maybe?

We haven't heard from them for a while: the birthers are coming to town next month! Grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the spectacle, since marchin' season ain't quite over yet. Oh, and Hawaii's legislature just passed that bill limiting requests for Obama's birth certificate. In your face!

The star sightings may have already begun in light of the WHCA dinner on Saturday -- the most eco-friendly one yet! The list of guests include the Jonas Brothers, Alec Baldwin, Jon Bon Jovi, Ryan Seacrest and Betty White, among others. This whole Jay Leno hosting thing, though? Lame. Should have called Conan.

The Week That Was

Goldman Sachs execs were on the Hill this week to face a grilling before the Senate. Carl Levin didn't hold back. Nebraska senator Ben Nelson owned up to his nickname, joining the GOP to prevent debate from beginning on the Senate floor on financial regulatory reform. No corn for you! Things got moving again after three rounds of voting. Also, it appears Senator Jim Bunning can't wait for retirement!

11 offshore workers were likely lost in an explosion on their rig. Oil has now reached the Florida and Louisiana coastlines, and despite Obama's reassurances we are definitely having second thoughts on "drill, baby, drill." Make BP foot the bill! And, uh oh, looks like there are second thoughts on that climate change bill passing anytime soon, too. By the by, Obama's Interior Department approved a plan to build the nation's first offshore win d farm, a decision was nearly a decade in the making. Turns out it was even opposed by the late Senator Ted Kennedy. Things could quickly get ugly.

Oh, Crist! Charlie left the Grand Old Party Thursday and will run as an independent. He's way down on the ballot now, folks. His former party told him to give back the cash and never come back. Ouch.

Greece is in pretty bad shape, and it just got worse this week. With Spain's jobless rate hitting 20% and Germany sti ll hesitant to move towards a bailout, could it be too late to save a dour situation?

Queenie WILL admit that there is one sport she watches enthusiastically, but Wednesday wasn't a great night for it. We truly hope you Caps fans are feeling better. Here, we'll buy you one of these to cheer you up, okay?

Are You Not Entertained?

Letterman says what everyone else is thinking: we all love Leno, but he's a boob. And he knows it, too.

Speaker Pelosi "appears" on the cover of Capitol File, and woooowww... did she get Mariah Carey's airbrushing gurus or what?

South Park's creators took a ton of heat for an episode "depicting" the Prophet Muhammad (by which we mean, putting him in a bear suit). Luckily, they found some support from Bart Simpson.

Over the weekend, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer and Majority Whip James Clyburn got down with their bad selves at a fundraiser. We really had no reason to post this other than to marvel at their superior coordination. No wonder they're in Congress, right?

Interweb Tomfoolery

This article on PowerPoint's lack of effectiveness for the U.S. military has been floating around the web all week, pushed mainly by research associates who get stuck designing Powerpoint presentations all day. Stand together, my friends! Never again will you be forced to "make my bullet points go all swirl-y" or answer the question, "OMG, why isn't my video clip working?!"

Hugo Chavez is on Twitter, and with only two tweets it is already a "success." Think he'll start retweeting Ashton?

If you were a little confused at Facebook's Community Pages roll out, so were we. We dug a little to get the real scoop and are n't liking what we see so far.

We support the troops! Especially when they're THIS synchronized, and especially when they bring their own props.

The bankers are out in force in Washington, but they're also on the street, preying (umm, literally) on poor consumers.

Gordon Brown is caught b eing super serious in a heated exchange with a constituent over immigration.

There's much more to finding Waldo then we first thought.

Depending on her taste in cars, this woman may just have gotten an incredible deal.

Out on the Town

The Kentucky Derby is happening on Saturday and parties will be in full swing. We particularly recommend the Bonnets and Bowties party at Round Robin or (for the free admission-loving among us) Derby Day at the Rams Head Tavern.

Enjoy this beautiful weather tonight with an outdoor screening of Clueless at the I Love the '90s film festival kicking off in Rosslyn. Queenie will be dancing it up at the Citizen Cope show tonight, and heading over to Passport DC on Saturday to get her cultural fix.

Celebrate Cinco de Mayo a smidge early at the Mall on Sunday with a dance festival, childrens' workshops and free food. If you're feeling extra-hipster on Sunday, throw on your best sundress (you too, fellas) and hit up Wonderland for dancing and a pig roast.

Finally, say what you want about D.C., but never say we don't care about what's really important.

Shameless Self-Promotion

Feminism2.0, a project of Queenie's and her Character Assassin Gloria Pan, was featured in Newsweek this week as a part of a roundtable discussion on abortion. Check out the article and leave your thoughts.

Also a BFD, our client Cohen Milstein struck a blow for gender justice this week when the U.S. Court of Appeals, Ninth Circuit, ruled that women who claimed to be unfairly paid by Wal-Mart could sue as a class. It's being billed as one of the largest class action suits in U.S. history. Our team garned coverage in all the major media outlets, including the coveted talking head spots. Watch National Journal's "Lawyer of the Decade" Joe Sellers go on Cavuto Monday at 6 p.m. ET.

Scorecard

Don't expect immigration reform to lose its place in the news cycle anytime soon, kids. Same with financial reform. But please, please, PLEASE don't stop paying attention to reproductive rights -- the last thing we need is for a little thing like, oh, freedom of choice to slip under the radar.

See you next Friday!

The TR: Heckling the Prez, Marginalizing the Ladies and Jumpin' Ship with Charlie

2010-04-23T15:05:00.009-04:00

Did you celebrate Earth Day like a good puppy? (Or like the adorable First Family? Save the tigers!) We shut off a few lights, hopped on the Metro to TR Central, even used some reusable bags... maybe rapped about it a little. Wait! We do that EVERY day! But we DEFINITELY had a better Earth Day than this former Fox anchor.

Environment aside, there are LOTS of things to snark about this week. Get busy!

Forecast

Yuck! That volcano is still spewing out ash clouds. It's going to take quite a bit of time for everything to get back to normal; even Obama had to cancel on the funeral for the Polish president. Good thing the Brits have things in order! Airlines are feeling the pinch, but the RNC is doing its part to help out -- and NOTHING can stand in the way of love. This rollercoaster might not be over yet, though -- scientists (and the rest of Europe) are worried about a greater threat from a neighboring volcano.

Obama went to Wall Street to pressure banks to not fight his reforms. Dems are looking for ways to push financial reform legislation ahead of November, while the "party of no," well, you kn ow. Also, Sheila Bair and a fellow regulator had some choice wordsf or each other.

Looks like (as usual) healthcare will NEVER get out of our Google Readers -- even though coverage has dropped, we are still looking for news about it and for conversation about regulation (speak of the devil) and the role of government in general. Most recently, reports of higher costs and speculation about what the fall will mean for Dems is topping the list.

The battle for the next Supreme Court justice is heating up in Washington. Obama invited leading senators to the White House for advice for a replacement for Justice Stevens. The president has already begun interviewing candidates. Time for some new Supreme dramz!

(Former) maverick John McCain is heading far-right and a bit more unhinged when it comes immigration reform. Arizona has pending legislation requiring police to stop anyone suspected of being an illegal immigrant (oh, and, by the way, a "birther bill" making its way through). Does this mean that immigration reform will FINALLY become a political priority? 'Cause HELLOOOO!

Sad news for D.C. residents: Voting rights won't be coming your way for at least another congressional session. Let's get a move on, people!

The Week That Was

Whenever there's news about the financial services industry, it's safe to say it's usually not good for the folks on Main Street. Goldman Sachs has a LOT to answer for. The firm is paying staff more than $5 billion in bonuses and compensation while charges of fraud threaten to cripple an already damaged brand. By the way, that's an average of $170,000 for each of Goldman's 32,500 employees! Jon Stewart broke this one down for us and the rest of the millennials.

Teabaggers last week, pro-gun activists this week. Funny, isn't it, that it was Obama who signed legislation to permit people to pack heat in our national parks. Thank you, short-term memory!

Obama flew out to California earlier this week to give Barbara Boxer/the DNC a big boost. It got heated when some hecklers called on the prez to repeal DADT ASAP. (They were like, "Do it!," and he was all, "I AM, OK?," and they're like, "No, seriously!," and then he was like, "I AM SERIOUS OMG.") Gay rights activists are also in a huff about this disgraceful story of a mistreated couple in northern California.

Bill Clinton continued making the media rounds and was interviewed by Dubya's daughter, Jenna. Michele Bachmann thinks the former president is trying to "take [her] out." Nice fundraising appeal, Michele!

The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee is having fun with recent comments from Nevada GOP candidate Sue Lowden, who recently solved our healthcare woes -- it's all about the chickens. Obviously.

Farewell, Charlie. Once the undeniable front-runner, the Florida governor is trailing badly in the Republican primary, and has been considering an independent bid. He won't be able to count on his Republican "friends" to back him if he jump s ship. Maybe an FBI investigation of Rubio will help him out?

The Feds introduced a new $100 bill in yet another attempt to stop counterfeiting. (Has that ever worked?) Repubs like Matt Drudge IM MEDIATELY started hollering, forgetting the fact that this redesign was first conceptualized under a, uh, previous president.

In makes-Queenie-want-to-punch-something news, the editor of the Law Vegas Journal-Review is in some hot water after penning an article calling for repeal of women's rights to vote. Also infuriating? Here's how the Nationals expect their fans to behave. Now check out the entire stub. Even more rage-inducing? The Ohio Republican Executive Committee sent out a mailer telling voters to put Betty Sutton "out of the House and back in the kitchen." Don't worry about that loud noise you just heard -- it was just Queenie's brain exploding.

Are You Not Entertained?

Kal Penn recently left the white castle. Early Tuesday morning, the Harold and Kumar star was reportedly robbed at gunpoint in this city. Thankfully he wasn't hurt. Best of luck on his return to his distinguished career!

Kate was FINALLY booted from DWTS -- even a desperate e-mail to "friends" couldn't save the day (and extend viewer agony). You know, Kate, there are some babies that sort of look like you that would probably like to hang out... just sayin'.

Oh, crap. LOST spoilers. Click if you dare.

Joe Biden made an appearance on The View this week. Watch what he had to say about Sarah and his big f$%#in' healthcare remark.

Cartoons have been all up in this news cycle lately. First, the creators of South Park faced death threats this week over a depiction of Muhammad as a talking bear -- and, predictably, they are less than pleased with Comedy Central's censorship. Second, remember Archie? There's a new character in town, and he's a-ok with us!

Have you heard the news about Lance Baxter? We had no idea who he was until we found out the voice behind Geico's gecko was fired over a voicemail aimed at Teabaggers. Two thumbs down!

Interweb Tomfoolery
How'd you like to be the guy that lost the latest iPhone prototype? In a bar? Where it got ripped apart bya top tech blog? On your birthday? If that guy isn't in Germany right now, we don't know what's wrong with him.

Americans lit up for 4/20 and apparently it was a good time.

We've been taking this iPad thing with a grain of snark, until we heard this story about a 99-year-old woman w ith glaucoma rediscovering her love of reading and writing thanks to this newfangled contraption. How, we ask you, HOW can we joke about that?! Thanks a lot, Apple. Jerks.

It's a Repub new media CHALLENGE. Them's fightin' words, y'all!

New Facebook features are sparking new concerns over internet privacy, and Google geeks are leaving the service in droves. Will you be one of them?

We didn't see the use of Google Search Stories until we asked ourselves this very important question: what do Bert and the Cookie Monster search for on the Google?

The justices of our highest court haven't been listening to the know-how of you informed social media gurus. Um... at all. You guys! Call us!

This woman was banned from every pub in England and Wales. How's that for a record? Thankfully, it'll never happened in America. On that note, this video of a wasted flip-flopper has gone viral.

And listen to what the YouTube'd teabaggers are saying about the direction of the country. Did you know that Obama is banning ALL fishing in America? Yeah, we didn't know, either.

Out on the Town

Go out and enjoy Earth Week, 'cause the eco-fun ain't stopping anytime soon! If you're feeling like a do-gooder, go clean up around the National Zoo or hang out at the Servathon. If you're extra cool, you might find Queenie dancing at the Climate Rally on Sun day. It's also fee-free week -- here's a list of parks that are free through Sunday so you can get your nature on.

Tea Partiers need not apply: The Kenyan embassy is hosting a REAL tea party on the Hill next Tuesday (with tea leaf readings!). And, if you're feeling extra cultured, you can go pretend you're Parisian in Georgetown. Bit of a stretch, but hey, it's a recession!

Your required Top Chef update: Tom Colicchio was at Ben's, and we have proof. One of Queenie's top secret informants, however, pointed out that the use of forks made Tom a certified wuss. Luckily, Tom had an explanation.

Scorecard

Bill made his rounds, Teabaggers stayed in the news, women's rights are still under fire and that pesky volcano stayed relevant (and pesky!). Not too shabby.

Until next week!