Truth #10 – Popular culture is a fickle bitch. I apologize if my word choice offends you, but frankly the subject matter offends me. I don’t generally use such language often; I consider its frequent employment to be a sign of a limited vocabulary. However, I never hesitate to use any word if it’s the best tool for the job. Merriam Webster’s describes this colloquial (as opposed to clinical) bitch as “malicious, spiteful, and domineering”, and this rather appropriately depicts popular culture. No wonder Paul tells us in Romans 12:2a (NIV)… Do not conform to the pattern of this world. Popular culture sees value in conformity over individualism (see Truth #1). Popular culture lies to us about the origin of contentment (see Truth #3). Popular culture doesn’t hold us to be image-bearers of God (see Truth #4). Popular culture doesn’t care about what’s actually a healthy lifestyle (see Truth #5). Popular culture sees itself (instead of our health) as the final arbiter of our success (see Truth #6). Popular culture says the most important thing about your body is your weight no matter what science says (see Truth #7). What a bitch! And it’s not like the opinion of popular [...]

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In my Joseph Journey, I learned that a prison routine was an inmate's best friend, but that's not always a good thing for believers.

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I don't condemn any parent for doing the Santa thing. But here's why I won't.

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Dôdi watched as Raya approached the monolith and paused before turning to face the crowd. She waited for the abundant applause to die down as she looked to her husband in resignation. She smiled knowingly at him as she grabbed her white sash and paused, awaiting his permission. This propitious turn of events excited Dôdi. He knew she’d been given a new chemise that he’d been expecting to see for the first time tonight, though he’d been trying to catch a glimpse by peeking down her gown all day. Now, he was going to get a surprise preview. Raya probably thought he’d orchestrated this whole ordeal. He probably would have if he’d thought of it. He nodded his consent eagerly, happily letting her think him that clever. Scowling playfully at Dôdi, she untied the white sash at her waist and draped it over a low hanging tree limb nearby. Then she pulled her arms into her dress gown, bent down, and began carefully lifting it by the hem from the inside. Slowly, the purple fabric moved higher, first revealing ankles, then calves, then a trace of diaphanous white fabric. She stood and pulled the gown over her head and began [...]

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Song of Songs 6:5a KJV: Turn away thine eyes from me, for they have overcome me: NIV: Turn your eyes from me; / they overwhelm me. NASB: Turn your eyes away from me, / For they have confused me; The husband has made it clear previously how attractive her eyes are — he calls them doves twice (4:1 and 1:15) and he notes their ability to sway him (4:9)— and here, he takes it a step further. He depicts another effect they have — they rāhab him. But what exactly does this mean? We see the word in three other verses in the Old Testament. So like a translator would, let’s see how it’s used in those contexts. Psalm 138:8 says, “On the day I called, You answered me; / You made me bold with strength in my soul.” Here, rāhab reflects an empowering, enabling action. Something that makes one bold. In Proverbs 6:3, Solomon advises his son to pressure his neighbor to pay their debts if he’s cosigned for them. The word is translated “importune”— to urge or bug with troublesome persistence according to Merriam-Webster’s — in the NASB, or give the neighbor no rest in the NIV. It’s [...]

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Is it wrong for Christians to make a homemade sex tape? The short answer is no, but the long answer requires some vital considerations. First, why do you want to make it? And second, how will you go about making it? Why In every situation, a Christian must remain cognizant of his or her motivations. The Bible reveals that God cares a lot more about what’s going on inside us — the whys if you will — than what’s taking place on the outside. God wants our motivations, our wills, to align with Him. Naturally, making a sex tape is no exception to this global rule. If your motivation is willfully malicious — if you have even a remote desire (or willingness, for that matter) to blackmail or if you want to make one because your spouse doesn’t want to make one — then obviously you need to refrain. Consider this clearly-marked forbidden territory. Perhaps you’re still feeding a porn addiction stemming from yet-unresolved spiritual or emotional issues. Yet bad motivations aren’t limited to the willfully malicious. Perhaps you’re looking for an easy option for release when the real thing requires too much effort or vulnerability. Perhaps you just want [...]

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Am I the only one who finds it peculiar that men have nipples? On women, they serve a purpose. They offer a source of nutrition to the youngest of children and a source of satisfaction to the oldest of children (aka Dad) who never seem to lose their preoccupation with “boobies”. But why does Dad actually have his own? Other than giving some visual reference points, they serve no purpose. So why do men have nipples? The answer has more to do with Mom than Dad, actually. Why Men Have Nipples Our vestigial nipples are the result of how the embryos of vertebrates develop. During the earliest part of our fetal development, there’s only a theoretical difference between genders. Up until this point, we develop pretty much identically, whether we’re male or female. In fact, up to a point, it’s even difficult for the untrained eye to distinguish embryos across species. Humans, foxes, iguanas, and falcons all look remarkably similar… But back to the human race. We’re anatomically more female than anything up until a point in the womb when gender starts to affect development. It’s at this point when our brains become distinct in their development. It’s at this [...]

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I was nervous. It was a first of many things. My first major project of my senior English class, my first time trying to teach anything on literature, my first serious tease of a satire-appreciating teacher who also happened to be related to me, and my first time in full drag. It’s going to be a surprise for her; only my friends knew I came to school with a bag that included a wig, some simple brown flats, a long denim dress, and the rest of the components that would transform me into an approximation of our beloved teacher. My boobs — Nerf balls — kept falling out of place as I reviewed the lesson plan I would give to the class for my project, and the dress itched in a most breezy way as I recalled recently reading Deuteronomy 22:5. “A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear woman’s clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this” (NIV). As a new Christian, I feared I was trading God’s wrath for a gamble at a gimmick that could get me a good grade. Or not. That didn’t help my nerves. Commentary After my project [...]

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In honor of Earth Day this year, I thought I’d share a little story of how the Osgood family recycled [white] trash into turn-on. It’s not really another of my #irreverentholidays because it’s bigger than just one day. For much of my adult life, I’ve worn tank top style undershirts. On the package, they’re often labeled “A-neck shirts” or “ribbed tank top” but in the general public they’re usually called “wife beaters”. What an unfortunate label. And it’s the most recognizable label, too. Men have “tank tops” that are not these garments; “undershirts” could just as easily be simple t-shirts; and no one has a clue what an “A-neck” is; but “wife beater” brings to mind exactly the correct garment every time. It’s a thin, white bit of fabric burdened by a hefty stereotype (and possibly sweat stains). Not all of these garments are white, mind you. You can buy packages of A-neck shirts in colors — black and gray at the very least. For some reason, these tend to be considered tank tops more than wife beaters, however. Perhaps because “all wife beaters are white”? Yet they are available, and I own a handful. What a revelation! Most of [...]

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I find a great deal of fascination in the traditional attire of cultures from around the world. The huge variety in designs, materials, patterns, and stylistic touches are awe-inspiring and often beautiful. One of my long-time favorites is the kimono, a surprisingly complex outer garment worn in Japan. Shockingly, this simple-looking gown actually involves many parts and many yards of fabric. The result, however, is truly beautiful, especially when combined with vibrant colors in intricate patterns and the slight luster of silky texture. It may surprise some people to know that they almost certainly have the kimono’s grandchild in their own closet. Much like how our modern notion of pajamas arose from some casual attire from India, our modern robe finds its roots in the kimono. The front-opening garment with its tying sash was originally an effort to accomplish a rough approximation of the kimono’s appearance without the complicated patterns and folds and twists and wraps that high fashion in Europe simply wouldn’t tolerate. And so, the simple wrap-and-tie robe was born. Whether it’s a long, fluffy white robe you, um, borrowed from that hotel that time, or that warm cotton robe printed with flowers your mom always wore, it [...]

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A Quiet Evening You’re lounging on the couch, sipping on some merlot as you enjoy a quiet moment with a good book. The house is clean, dinner was excellent, and there are even some leftovers already warming in the oven for your hubby who got held up late at work. Originally, you guys had a big night planned, so the kids are even going to be at the babysitter’s until late. So you’re taking advantage of the opportunity for some peace and quiet. Until there’s a knock at the door. Setting down the glass and book, you check the mirror to make sure your robe covers the basics and go to the door. You can’t see anything through the peephole. Maybe the porch light is burnt out. So, you crack the door open. A strong cologne barely has the time to register to your nostrils as familiar before a man in a back ski mask shoves his way in and locks the door behind him. You stagger backward, but he quickly outpaces you and grabs for you as you turn to run. A tearing sound accompanies your robe as it’s stripped off you in an instant, leaving you free but [...]

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When my wife is being the mother of my children, it’s sexy. Bottom line. It’s hard to be sexier than my wife when she’s being deliberately sensual. Dancing, bathing, or even masturbating, my wife knows how to turn me on when she wants to try. What surprises her, though, is when she turns me on when she’s not trying. And on this front, nothing beats her being a mother. She’s beautiful when she hugs our son, tickles our godchild, or reads a parenting book. I’ve addressed that she’s physically never sexier than when she’s pregnant, and this comes from the same source. There’s something irresistible about having my better half be all woman. Disciplining our children is hot. Giving them baths is seductive. Shopping for their clothes is enthralling. When my wife is being the mother of my children, it’s sexy. Bottom line. It doesn’t matter if she’s frustrated about disobedience, covered in poop from a diaper, or in tears as she disciplines herself not to rush in and fix things so our daughter can learn to cope herself. She’s beautiful. And I want her. Admittedly, she needs to shower first. Poop is never attractive. My wife is my milf. [...]

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If you’ve read much of our site, you could get the feeling that Clara and I are like bunnies, always bumping and grinding at every opportunity. You might think we face no sexual challenges, that we’re endlessly adventurous in the undefiled marriage bed, and that we have never once complained of a headache. In the classic tradition of sharing your successes with the internet, I might have misled you, but it wasn’t intentional. Let’s get this straight. Clara and I struggle in our intimacy just like everyone else. You know the biggest challenge to our sex lives? A stressful workday with a long commute? It’s not a deal breaker. Health issues? Not any more than the next couple. Different body clocks? It’s a barrier, but not the biggest. Body image struggles and insecurities? Present, but quiet. The biggest barrier, by far, is the kids. I know, shocker. Baby on Board Admittedly, this is most challenging when there’s a little one in the house. Life itself becomes erratic for at least a year, and intimacy with your spouse is often the first thing to suffer. In the early months, you’re challenged when making plans because you can’t make predictions. Newborns are [...]

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For years, I was taught offending other people is sinful, citing verses like Romans 14:21 and 2 Corinthians 6:3. I learned Christians are supposed to be each others' morality police; if the herd says we should or shouldn't do something because they like it or don't, we should obey so we do not sin by offending their sensibilities.

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It’s interesting to me how some professions seem to include a certainty of partial nudity. I’m not referring to exotic dancers. I mean the less obvious ones. Plumbers, for example, have as much a well-established precedent for showing butt crack as much as pop stars have for showing… well, everything. There are positional geometries at work here: plumbers work low to the ground, often bent in peculiar postures focused more on long-term comfort and maneuverability than gluteal decency. Let me be clear. I don’t fault you men of the pipe wrench revealing your crack (so long as you don’t also reveal a tramp stamp above it). In fact, I applaud you for honoring the traditions of your trade. And honestly, my eyes will probably linger far longer than appropriate; I want to be able to look away but I can’t, like watching a car wreck in slow motion. But your crack isn’t alone in its magnetism. If my wife’s ever got a bit of crack peeking, be it from a sagging swimsuit bottom, a low-rise skirt, or that delectable visual pocket that occurs when she sits in jeans and a short shirt, you can bet my eyes will linger. I [...]

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