I am not a perfect mother and I will never be. You are not a perfect daughter and you will never be. But put us together and we will be the best mother and daughter we would ever be.
~ Zoraida Pesante

A mother is someone who dreams great dreams for you but then she lets ?you chase the dreams you have for yourself and loves you just the same.
~ Unknown

Some of you may have had a perfect mom, but most of our moms weren’t perfect — and those of us with kids aren’t perfect, either! Still, moms love their, and that’s what counts, and that’s why Mother’s Day is a  good time to find the best in our mothers, our daughters and, of course, ourselves.

With that in mind, here are some of the things Mom told us and how they do (and don’t) still ring true today:

“Everyone needs something flirty in their wardrobe.”
Do your clothes enhance your best self, making you feel fun, feminine, and confident?

They should!

Whether it’s a flirty skirt or a killer pair of earrings, find what makes you look and feel your best — then make sure you don’t save it for a “special occasion.” Wear it and enjoy how it makes you feel … now!

“Just be yourself.”
Don’t forget, not every trend is made for everyone. It’s okay to like something … then to decide it’s really just not right for you.

Yes, you want to be adventurous, but it’s also wonderful to know what really suits you and then stick with it. So find looks you like (online, on the street, in magazines), then adapt them to your lifestyle, your budget, your body.

“You’re perfect just the way you are.”
If your mother didn’t reassure you about how great you are, she should have!

Now that you’re a grown-up, you owe it to yourself to make sure that when you look in the mirror, you seek out what’s right and great and beautiful about you … rather than focusing on what you don’t like. Identifying your best assets is the first step toward dressing confidently and joyously.

“You can’t wear those colors together!”
Our moms lived by fashion rules that are different from the ones that govern our personal style today. Give yourself carte blanche to make new combinations using what’s already in your closet. And yes, you can combine colors and patterns in ways our moms would probably reject.

“Pretty is as pretty does.”
Ever met a woman who looked flawless … but just wasn’t, well, all that nice? Of course it’s important to look and feel stylish and up to date, but Mom was right: How we relate to others is even more important than how we look! And it says just as much about who we are.

So take a minute to smile, remember that “Please” and “Thank you” never go out of style, and at least once in a while, send someone a hand-written note.

Ketura Persellin is an image consultant, writer, and public speaker in Washington, DC. Contact her to schedule a complimentary get-acquainted session.

Recently I started taking Zumba classes at my local gym, which I had just joined. The first class I couldn’t keep up at all — neither my aerobic capacity nor my coordination were up to the task. After a few weeks I could do much better, and it has become one of my favorite parts of my week.

Here are 9 reasons why you should take a dance class:

You’ll move your body. That’s always a good thing, no matter your age or size or lifestyle.

You’ll get to listen to fun, upbeat music. One thing that keeps us young is listening to the music that’s popular at any given moment rather than staying stuck on what we listened to in college. Go to a gym dance class and you’ll keep current.

You’ll get to see what your body is capable of. No matter how out of shape you might be, I bet you can do some of the moves. You’ll surprise yourself — and that’s a nice thing!

You’ll be inspired. There is likely to be someone older and less in shape than you are … working harder than you are and having fun while doing it! If she can do it, well, so can you!

You’ll get your sexy back. When you slink from car to kitchen desk to bed and back … or maybe break up your journey with a run on the treadmill … well, none of that is very sexy, is it? Try making moves like you would on a dance floor instead!

You’ll get in shape. This is the obvious point about taking a dance class, and guess what? It works! You forget you’re exercising because you’re having fun, but then after a few weeks, you notice you’re slowly getting in shape.

You’ll improve your mood. Dancing while listening to fun music with a peppy teacher and a bunch of other women … what’s not to love?! You’ll release endorphins, a natural mood-booster.

You’ll get a chance to get a new workout ensemble. It’s fun to see what people are wearing in my Zumba classes. More than one woman in my class has great moves but wears what must be her husband’s sweats and T-shirt. Instead, get a cute dancy-type outfit. I promise you’ll like what you see in the mirror.

You’ll improve your self-confidence. Taking a risk, trying something brand new, and gaining mastery over it … these are great ways to boost our belief in ourselves and start giving ourselves the self-love we so richly deserve.

Ketura Persellin is an image consultant, writer, and public speaker in Washington, DC. Contact her to schedule a complimentary get-acquainted session.

How will you look?

Recently I worked with a client who wanted to boost her professional presence. She was a manager with a large team working for her but felt she didn’t project the authority she wanted to project. We shopped together and that was a huge start.

This particular client is an athlete who has a low-fuss lifestyle, and I wasn’t sure how she’d react to my next suggestion: makeup. But I also felt she would benefit a lot from even just a little foundation and undereye concealer.

Here’s what I told her (and what I tell all my clients) about makeup. I think a lot of women fight too hard with the makeup artist when they go to the makeup counter. They insist that they’re very low-maintenance and would never use this or that product.

I do think it’s smart to let the salesperson know when you’re not used to wearing a lot of makeup and that you have a busy morning routine (if you do), and then perhaps describe what you think is a realistic amount of time to spend. But then just let the makeup artist loose to do whatever he or she wants. They love to create an entire look, and really, what have you got to lose?

You may find out how it’s possible to look like yourself … only better!

My client loved the subtle, natural yet pretty results she saw in the mirror when the makeup artist was done. (We were at the Bobbi Brown counter, which I felt was a good match for her.) Then she went ahead and bought everything.

Now I just can’t wait to find out if she uses it.

Ketura Persellin is an image consultant, writer, and public speaker in Washington, DC, and surrounding suburbs. To find out more, contact her to schedule a get-acquainted session.

Loving pattern-mixing on Pinterest

I just started using Pinterest and I swear, I am having so much fun with it! I hope you’ll come over and take a look. (As with many other social media platforms, you don’t need your own account to see what I’m doing with my account — although I’m betting you’ll want to join in the fun once you do.)

I know I do.

And rarely does it make any difference in my life.

This past year was a little different, though. And I hope to keep it up in the 2012.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m pretty much the last person to give advice about exercise. But for some reason this past year I started walking and then, recently, with winter around the corner, I joined a gym.

What was key to my success (so far! this could change at any time!) was to have pretty low and flexible expectations for myself. Instead of resolving to exercise six times a week for an hour each time, I just tried to get out and walk as fast as I could for as long as I wanted. Usually it wasn’t even that much!

The effect has been great for me. I feel much more energetic and happier as a result. (And I’m told I look better, so maybe that’s true, too.)

So I guess the lesson is to start small and be reasonable about what you can accomplish. Those of us with work and family commitments need to try to squeeze in what we can, when we can — and then congratulate ourselves making such efforts to be kind to our bodies.

That in a nutshell is my exercise resolution for 2012.

What’s yours?

Are you a cautious person?

I know I am. Someone I used to work with often teased me for being risk- and change-averse. And it’s true.

In matters of personal style, though, I often think it makes sense to throw caution to the wind. Here’s how I look at it. What if you were to try something different — two colors (or three!) together. Or the addition of a jacket with an outfit you’ve never worn that way. Or, say, a shoe that doesn’t “match” the rest of your outfit but that pleases you nonetheless in that combination.

Really — what’s the worst that could happen? Will people line up in the street to jeer you? Will you lose your job, your dignity ….? Of course not!

So why are we so afraid to take risks? What’s the worst that could happen? We all make mistakes — it’s just that in this arena, our mistakes only last as long as it takes to get back home and change our clothes.

But on the up side — when we take those risks, we sometimes discover things about ourselves we never knew before.

Like, for instance, that we look awesome in that particular shade of green. That our red shoe looks amazing with our purple dress — and everyone seems to agree. Or we look good in that kind of hat, something we’ve never worn. I often hear a complaint from my clients that they have no style — and my standard response is that they simply need to be a little less careful, to add that something extra to their outfit — even if they’re a littl unsure about it.

So next year, let’s all resolve to take a few more risks.

Try a new hairstyle (it will grow back!) or highlights. Go crazy with nail color. Add a layer or an accessory to your outfit before walking out the door. Buy a handbag in a … gasp! … color! And please, let me know how your risk-taking works!

(Note: Images are, from top, from B. Jones Style, Style & Pepper, and Fashion for Nerds — personal style blogs by three fantastically creative women.)

Most of all, I’m a big fan of color that suits a person’s coloring.

Do you know what your best colors are? If not, make 2012 the year you resolve to identify your best colors and then actually wear them. The reason? You’ll look younger, prettier, more energetic, better rested and happier. You’ll probably look smarter, too. (Why not?!) I even believe personally (though I have zero evidence to back this up) that we respond emotionally to our best colors. (For instance, the watermelon color in my logo thrills me every time I see it.)

What color makes you happy?

And why wait to get started? Experiment in the next few days with unexpected combinations of colors, just to get you underway in this endeavor. For inspiration, take a look at your favorite personal-style blogs (this image comes from a favorite of mine, Kendi Everyday), the built environment, and the natural world.

I just adore the start to a new year.

The start of a new year makes everything feel all fresh and new … as if all things are possible. And they really are!

Sure, there are things we can’t change about our lives, but there is a whole lot that we can.

What do you want to change in the coming year?

To get us all started thinking a little more about that, I offer this challenge: Spend the next 12 days with the idea at the back of your mind that you can make changes … you just have to figure out what they are.

Here’s mine for today: Come up with my 3 words.

Let me explain.

A couple years ago I stumbled across this marketing expert‘s idea — come up with three words that would serve as an intention for the following year, like this and this. I love this idea! Just come up with three words you hope will be an expression of you (your self, your goals, your desires) for 2012. Go ahead! (And please leave a comment to let me know what they are — I would love to hear, especially since I am still working on my 3 words.)

Recently, I came across a website that I just love.

I love it so much I bought the book, too: Operation Beautiful, one woman’s mission to change the negative self-talk so many women have.

I mention this because her message and movement dovetail perfectly with what I try to tell my clients: Embrace who you are right now. Stop believing you need to wait for something to happen in order to feel beautiful.

Here’s a nugget from Caitlin Boyle, the woman behind Operation Beautiful:

And my favorite (of course):
“Take pride in your physical appearance, no matter what your size, age, look, or shape. It can feel so wonderful to wear a flattering shirt, a beautiful necklace, or a killer pair of heels. Take the time to choose outfits that makes you feel special or treat yourself to small pleasures, like facials or manicures. This is about defining your own version of beautiful and celebrating your body….”

Does this message resonate with you? How do you keep this kind of positive self-talk in your head? I’d love to hear about it — leave me a comment here and tell me what you think!

(Photo courtesy Stacie Mooney, available here.)