What is it?

Some people like to have gift bags that the hotel will give to each guest as he or she checks in to the hotel. It’s a nice token and can make people feel welcome. Some people call this “OOT Bags” for “out of town bags” because they’re primarily for out of town guests.

What goes in it?

You can put whatever you want in the OOT bag! Snacks, water, tissues, candles, itineraries, maps, local souvenirs.

I received a fabulous one at a wedding that had a few snacks (chips, rice crispy treats, cookies), a bottle of water, tissues, and the itinerary (a bus was picking us up at the hotel to take us to the ceremony/reception and back again). It was sweet. I arrived late and was thirsty and hungry and I felt welcomed — even without anyone being around.

What kind of bag is it?

There are many types of bags out there for these types of gifts and favors; it all depends on what you’re looking for and how much you want to put inside. Some people might try to figure out another kind of creative container for the gifts.

So that’s the background on the gift bags! Will you have ‘em for your guests?

~ Natasha

photo by nostri-imago

I am getting married next fall and I really want my niece (who is only 9 months old now) to be in the wedding ceremony as a flower girl! But then I also dont really want to have children at the wedding reception. I just feel like I dont want my niece to take over the attention and I dont want my sister and her husband to not be able to drink and dance because they’re worried about her. Is it ok to only have her for the ceremony and not the reception? Is it rude to ask that of my sister and her husband?

Well, first of all, thank you for your question! This situation comes up more frequently than you would think. People are often conflicted about whether to invite children to their weddings or not. There are definitely pros and cons and a lot of the decision depends on what is going on in your life and in the lives of your friends.

The final answer is: of course you can do whatever you would like. The more intricate answer involves how to handle the feelings of everyone involved.

My general feeling about how to handle delicate situations is candor. Tell your sister NOW that you are thinking you want to have your niece in the wedding but that you also are concerned about having her at the wedding reception. Explain why and be very honest about your reasons for not wanting her to be at the reception.

Obviously this is not easy, but it is important to make people understand your expectations as early as possible. Your sister will need to figure out how to get your niece from the ceremony to a babysitter and from the babysitter to them again.

If your sister is from out of town, come up with a list of babysitters or daycares who can help take care of your niece during the wedding reception. One of the most difficult parts of being from out of town is finding a place for a child to GO during a wedding. (Incidentally, this goes for both the ceremony and reception if you dont want kids at the ceremony either)

In terms of communicating the “no kids” to everyone else, there are a few ways to do that. 1) “Adult reception to follow” on the wedding invitation; 2) word of mouth – passing along the word; 3) information on your website or via email regarding babysitters or child care facilities for the wedding.

Dont be afraid to do what you want, but do make sure you explain and give advance warning to those who this will affect. They will need to make plans to accomodate themselves too.

Good luck!

~ Natasha

Photo by jarrodlombardo

1. Select the stores

There are several retail stores that support registries including Macy’s, Bloomingdale’s, Bed, Bath, & Beyond, Crate & Barrel, Williams-Sonoma, Target, etc.  But don’t forget some more uncommon stores like REI, Amazon.com, and Home Depot – you’ll want to think about the types of items both you and your fiance will need as you start your life together.  If you’re more into camping than cooking, REI might be a better idea for you!

2. Consider your guests

Whether you’re having a small or large wedding, you’ll want to make sure that your wedding registry is accessible to your guests.  That means geographically and economically.  If you are having a medium to large wedding, having at least 2 different registries will allow your guests to select the one that is most reachable.  That also means that when you register for items, you might want to select items in a variety of price ranges to give your guests the most flexibility.

3. Estimate your needs

We’ve heard from multiple couples that you should register for more than you think you need.  We’ve heard of several couples whose registries were cleared weeks before the wedding and they had to go back and add items to the registry.  This is the best way to avoid getting random items you will never want or use.  Also, if you are having a shower or multiple showers, people will often look at your registry for those gifts as well.  So basically – overestimate your needs.

4. For sets, register for each individual item and for the set

While attending a registry event at a local retailer, we learned this very handy trick.  If you’re interested in a set of some kind – a cutlery set, cookware sets, linens – you can actually register for both the set as well as the individual items that make up the set.  That is because some sets are over people’s budgets, but one or two items within a set are reasonable.  Then, after the wedding you can trade in the individual items for the entire set or buy up the missing items.  For example, if you’re interested in a Henckels knife set, you can register for each individual knife within the set separately.  So rather than registering for a $1000 set, you can register for a $75 chef knife.  After the wedding, if you’ve received most of the set but are missing items, you can most likely trade in the knives you’ve received for the complete set (as the set prices tend to be less than the combined values of each individual knife).

5. Look for rebates and giveaways

Many popular household brands offer rebates and giveaways simply for registering for items.  Make sure to keep your eyes out on these specials as it really is something for nothing!

6. Set aside some time

One of the things that surprised us the most was the amount of time it takes to create and manage your registry!  We thought we could easily complete it in one afternoon, but we were badly mistaken!  We barely made it through our silverware selection when we had to go.  Who knew shopping would be so difficult? 

Good luck!

-Jenny

Photo by clevercupcakes

Rumor has it the bridal shower custom derived back in the day (we’re talking centuries ago) from inability of the bride’s family to provide an appropriate dowry – either because they could not afford it or because the family did not approve of the union. As a result, the bride’s friends would get together and ‘shower’ the bride with gifts she and her betrothed could use in their new home.
Today the shower continues as a celebration to help prepare the bride as she enters a new phase in her life. The shower is typically more formal than a bachelorette party and is thrown by the bridal party or close friends of the bride. The bride’s mother or immediate family rarely hosts the shower – this, I’m sure – is a throw-back to the dowry days.

Where do you begin?  The best thing to do is to have a conversation with the bride. The questions you ask her will inevitably help plan the event so all you have to do when you’re done talking to her is execute!

How many showers is she having? Occasionally the bride may have multiple showers if more than one person has offered to host, if her initial headcount is too large or if she prefers to have separate showers for the various areas of her life – her family, her college friends, her church community, etc.

What is her estimated headcount? Don’t bite off more than you can chew. If you feel the headcount is too large, see if there are ways the bride can reduce it. The headcount will also help you determine the shower venue. If your home is too small, look into other alternatives like a local restaurant, clubhouse, the bride’s home or a nearby park.

What has she always envisioned her shower to be like? Whether it’s a springtime brunch or afternoon tea, design the shower around the bride’s tastes and interests. There’s nothing wrong with having an evening cocktail party shower or heading to the bowling lanes if that better suits the bride’s lifestyle.

Decorations? This is dependent on the space and location of the event. Often times a few vases of flowers on the table or around the room is all you need to create a warm and inviting atmosphere. You can always take it a step further depending on the theme of the shower or the bride’s interests.

What about the menu? What menu does she want and how will it be prepared?  If you are having it at a restaurant the good news is you can cross ‘Food Prep’ off your list. Will you have it catered? If so, by who? Will you do it all yourself or ask the bridal party to help? Is it tacky to ask your guests to bring a dish to share?  Not if you mention ‘potluck’ in the invitations.  What kind of cake or dessert does she want?  Please don’t forget to ask if she is aware of any food allergies her guests may have.

Pick a date! Showers are typically held within the last two months before the ‘I Dos’… It’s a hectic time for the bride as she finalizes the last details. Make sure you book it early and allow plenty of time to get the invitations out.

What about games? Many of you groan at the thought of bridal shower games. I have a confession… I love them ! It’s a great way to get the guests to interact and build a bond before the wedding day. Keep in mind the shower guests may come from all areas of the brides’ life and they may not know each other well if at all.  The games will loosen everyone up; get people acquainted and re-acquainted and hopefully share a giggle or friendly competition. The best way to not overdo the games is to limit it to two or three and spread them out over the course of the shower.

You hosted the shower, Do you have to give a gift? You’ve already put so much time and money into hosting shower, but etiquette states you are still expected to give a gift – after all the purpose of the shower is to provide gift. You can gift something personalized – something monogrammed or sentimental to the bride, something off of the registry or somehow related to the shower theme.  Typically you’d spend less on a shower gift than you would the wedding gift.

Documenting the day! Don’t forget to assign a shower photographer and post the photos on the http://www.theweddinglens.com/ shortly after the shower. It’s a great way to document the gifts the bride received, the guests that attended and all of the details you put together!

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all that needs to be done, don’t hesitate to enlist the aid of the bridal party or other close friends of the bride. Whatever your efforts, the bride will absolutely appreciate it.

- Anne

photo from weddingparaphernalia

General Wording Etiquette

• Do not use punctuation, except after titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Dr.)
• Capitalize ONLY proper names, titles and the first word of a sentence. Do not capitalize anything else. (You will see what I mean below)
• The date should be worded as follows: day of week, day, month, and year. The date (including the year) must be spelled out. (eg. Sunday, the fifth of June, two thousand and ten).
• Spell out the times and refer to the clock (eg. Half after four instead of 4:30 p.m.; Four o’clock in the afternoon instead of 4:00 p.m.; Eight o’clock in the evening instead of 8:00 p.m.)
• Use third person instead of first person (eg. “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” instead of “we”).

The easiest way to explain this is by breaking the invitation into lines. Such as:

Line 1: Mr. and Mrs. Walter Johnson

Line 2: request the pleasure of your company

Line 3: at the marriage of their daughter, Madeleine, to Mr. Ryan Smith

Line 4: on Saturday, the fourteenth of August, two thousand and eleven at seven o’clock in the evening

Main Street Park, 123 Main Street, San Francisco, California

Reception to follow.

 Line one answers the question: Who hosts?

The host of the wedding is usually the primary financial contributor to the wedding, but this is not always the case. Traditionally, the bride’s family hosts. So line one would say Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Father’s Name (eg. Mr. and Mrs. Walter Johnson).

 Line two is the invite part of the invitation

If the wedding is held in a religious place of worship, use “request the honor of your presence.”

If the wedding takes place elsewhere, use “request the pleasure of your company” or “request the honor of your company.”

 The most formal traditional invitations do not use “your” in the wording, but leave a blank space to handwrite the name of the guest. For example, “Mr. and Mrs. Walter Johnson request the honor of Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Lee’s presence. . . .” This is rarely done now, however.

 Line three answers the very simple question of who is getting married?

Since (traditionally) it’s the bride’s parents who are hosting and inviting, the wording would be: “in the marriage of their daughter, Madeleine Eve, to Mr. Ryan Johnson.”

 Line four and onward explains the when and where part of the invitation

Time goes first, then location. Then you can add in a line about the reception – but a reception card will be separate.

Modern ideas

Dont forget that there are many “new” ways to write invitations. For example, many couples are hosting their own weddings. In that case, try something like:

Madeleine Eve Johnson and Ryan Taylor Smith, together with their families,

Request the pleasure of your company

At their wedding

on Saturday, the fourteenth of August, two thousand and eleven at seven o’clock in the evening

Main Street Park, 123 Main Street, San Francisco, California

You get the idea. Make the wording work for you!

 Reception information & Children

The reception information is NOT included in the invitation. The only information that you need on the invitation is that a reception will follow. (The information for your reception comes on a separate card, included in the envelope with the invitation.)

 If you do not want children in attendance, instead of writing “Reception to follow,” specify “Adult reception to follow.” 

How did you word your invitation?

~ Natasha

Generally speaking, Save-the-Dates are sent between 6 months and a year prior to the wedding date.  The practice became popular because people needed more notice to request time off from work and save up for the travel costs.  Since regular wedding invitations are typically sent only 2 months before the wedding, they do not leave enough time for guests to prepare – especially if travel is involved.  For Chris and I, about 50% of our guests are located outside the Bay Area (including some who are out of the country), meaning we want them to have plenty of time to make the appropriate arrangements. And since we’re sure many of them are also getting invited to numerous weddings each year, we feel like the advance notice doesn’t hurt.

So our total stationary needs include 175 Save-the-Dates, invitations, Thank You cards and 250 programs on our extremely conservative budget.  And, we’d like them to match.

Photo by William Arthur Fine Stationery

Thinking Creatively

I began the process by browsing and admiring the stationary from online sites like Wedding Paper Divas, Papeterie, and Minted.  Each site had beautiful, original designs to fit any style or taste.  But it was difficult to find anything in our wedding color scheme or in our price range.  I searched some other sites and found things closer to our price range and ordered samples – but I was always disappointed in how they turned out.  There’s a reason those invitations were cheaper…

We want to get those Save-the-Dates out soon, but how are we going to get what we want on our budget?!

After talking to my fiance about what we wanted in our invitation, I started to sketch the idea out in PowerPoint.  In my previous job, I became a pro at sketching out complex images in PowerPoint – I was finally getting to put that skill to good use!  I showed him the sketch and he loved it!  But, wait, are we really going to make these ourselves?

Just for fun I looked into how much it might cost to make our own invitations and save-the-dates.  With sites like Vistaprint, you can upload an image to turn your original creations into invitations and magnets.  The prices are very reasonable and you can order proofs to check the quality.

So while I’d never consider myself a DIY gal, we may be going this route.  We’re asking a friend who is a graphic designer to help fine-tune the sketch I made in PowerPoint and we’ll order some samples up.  Who knows?  Maybe you’ll see our creation on Minted yourself one day!

Next week: The Registry Experience

However, when it comes to weddings and wedding photo sharing, Flickr and Picasa have a very difficult time keeping up with The Wedding Lens.  Using the same criteria as the other article and adding a few more, here’s a look at how they compare:

Storage

Flickr – Unlimited*
Picasa – 1GB free
The Wedding Lens – Unlimited

Given the fact that over 75% of Americans now own digital cameras, you can expect tons of photos to be taken at any given wedding.  From our experience, most weddings collect well over 500 photos, with 18% collecting over 1,000.  Given the average full-resolution photo is about 4 Mb, that means a single wedding requires about 4 GB of storage!

Uploads

Flickr – Free account limits photos to 10 MB each, max 2 videos of 150 MB each/month; Pro account supports photos up to 20 MB each, videos up to 500 MB each
Picasa – Photos up to 20 MB each, no limit on videos
The Wedding Lens – Photos up to 20 MB each, video up to 200 MB each

All three are comparable, although users should be careful of the storage restrictions mentioned earlier.

Quality

Flickr – Supports GIF, PNG, and JPG; TIFF and other image files are converted to JPG.  Originals available with Pro account only.
Picasa – Supports most image files, but all files converted to JPG
The Wedding Lens – Supports GIF, PNG, JPG in original format

The JPEG format is considered a lossy compression format.  In other words, when a PNG image file is converted into JPEG, certain details are lost.  With The Wedding Lens’ Premium and Ultimate albums, you and your guests will all be able to download original, untouched, full-resolution copies of everyone’s photos.  In the Standard album, while full-resolution downloading is not supported, a photo DVD of all the original files can be ordered at an additional cost.

Social vs. Privacy

Flickr – RSS feeds, commenting, friends & groups, public vs. private settings
Picasa – easily embed to websites, share on Buzz, Twitter, Blogger, email contacts, public vs. private settings
The Wedding Lens – email contacts, commenting, embed to websites, FULLY PRIVATE

Unlike some other photography situations, many couples getting married see their wedding photos as being private events only to be shared with friends and family.  In fact, in a recent WeddingChannel.com Digital Wedding Guest Etiquette Poll (June 2010), 40% of brides said posting photos online without permission or even a heads-up was their biggest digital wedding gripe.  While The Wedding Lens allows hosts to invite guests to their site via email or by providing the access code, The Wedding Lens albums are always private.  There is no obscure setting to look for to ensure that photos don’t end up somewhere on the internet – they will always be protected.  In the end it is controlled sharing.

– Additional Criteria –

Guest Access to Upload Photos

Flickr – Must be member
Picasa – Must be member
The Wedding Lens – Registration-free guest access

While all the sites have ways to let everyone view photos, Flickr and Picasa only allow members of their sites to share photos with each other.  In Flickr, you can use Groups or photostreams to combine separate members’ photos.  In Picasa it is accomplished through collaborative albums and contributors.  The Wedding Lens does not force your wedding guests to sign up to the site to view or upload pictures.  They simply need the access code and can begin sharing all those beautiful wedding photos.

Wedding-specific Experience

Flickr -not available
Picasa – not available
The Wedding Lens – of course!

Finally, while Flickr and Picasa are great general photo sharing tools, they just aren’t designed specifically for weddings, from the ground up.  Here are just a few of the many wedding-specific details included into The Wedding Lens:

• Customized URL so that couples can provide an easy-to-remember place to go (Example: http://[brideandgroom].theweddinglens.com)
• Personalized welcome page so that couples can welcome their guests and provide any special instructions
• Automated timed emails that gently remind your guests to bring their cameras before the wedding and upload their photos after
• Warm and friendly wedding theme that is as elegant as your wedding

The Wedding Lens provides an entirely unique experience that is catered to making the collection of wedding photos easy and secure.  Try it for yourself today by signing up for your own free trial at http://www.theweddinglens.com/signup.

photo by sundazed

1.  Flowers are one of the first things that come to mind when it comes to fall weddings. Think orange, deep read, classic yellow. It’s warm and cozy! Be sure and check out the list of which flowers are in season when to help guide your flowery decisions!

2. Candles also provide a nice cozy fall feeling. Consider using candles as your centerpiece and/or as part of the decoration around the venue. You can try using floating candles in a glass bowl of water, or several candles together in the center.

3. Use nature’s changing colors to decorate. It’s eco-friendly, biodegradable, and gorgeous! Leaves, apples, even pumpkins – all add character to your wedding decor.

4. For the fall, why not the ease of a comfy turkey and mashed potatoes? Start with a butternut squash soup and voila! If you want something a little more elegant, consider the flavors. Cinnamon, ginger, and curry are wonderful fall flavors!

5. For dessert, apple pie? Okay okay, how about a pumpkin flavored wedding cake? Or a plain traditional chocolate cake? You cant go wrong!

6. Consider a winery or a location with a gazebo for your wedding venue. Or at least a room with a view! You want to be able to enjoy the wonderful fall, whether inside or out!

7. For favors, take advantage of the fall with small jams, colorful scented candles, or spiced cookies. Feeling funky? How about your favorite Halloween candy as a favor?

8. Select one deep color and one bright color for your wedding colors. For example, a cocoa brown with a bright orange. Or a dark purple with yellow. Or a deep red with silver. You get the idea.

9. For attire, think strapless for bridesmaids and simple suits for groomsmen. The bridesmaids can have an outer wrap to keep them warm if it’s cold, but they can shed them if it’s warm! (One of the problems with the fall is the unpredictability of weather, of course!)

10. Have an activity: hay rides, photobooths, silhouette artists, or face painting. It’s fun and quirky and your guests will remember your fall wedding forever!

What will you do for your fall wedding?

~ Natasha

When we picked our wedding colors, I always imagined lemons being involved somehow.  It was one of the main motivations for picking yellow in the first place.  But I also wanted to tie in our other colors, grey and white.  And, yes, I need to always be mindful of our budget.  With endless possibilities on how to decorate our wedding, I needed to first get organized.

Photo Inspiration Boards

I do not consider myself super creative.  I am, however, a visual thinker and I like to see everything in front of me to help me process a complex task.  So from the beginning, I started clipping and saving any images that I thought were along the right path of what we were trying to accomplish with our wedding.  Laying these photos out on an inspiration board (physical or virtual) helped me organize dozens of ideas.  Besides bridal magazines and websites, I also found inspiration in unlikely places.   For example, a table setting from a Pottery Barn or Crate & Barrel catalog, décor in friends’ homes, and while shopping at Ikea.

In fact, it was while shopping at Ikea that I stumbled on inexpensive galvanized pots that would look great filled with lemons around our venue, tying in our two main colors.

With all my favorite ideas in one place, I could scan across the group and hone in on what our style was.  I’d call it casual-modern.  Now with a style defined, we began to consider the specifics.

Pondering over Pomanders

There are hundreds of beautiful ceremony pictures that feature gorgeous flower pomanders along the aisle chairs.  They frame the aisle and dress up boring chairs and pews and just make the ceremony look elegant.  It’s an idea that I wanted to replicate but not at the cost a florist may charge.

The first idea was to follow the DIY route and make beautiful tissue paper pomanders like these.  However, after considering that we will have about 13 rows of seats, we’d need either 14 pomanders (for every other row) or 26 pomanders (for every row)!  That’s a ton of tissue paper and a ton of work.  I could get my bridesmaids over and spend hours making these, but I kept my eyes open for alternative options.  Thankfully, I found inspiration from another couple!

From The Knot, Quyen and Derrick used paper lanterns tied with ribbons to replace flower pomanders along their aisle.  At less than $5 each, paper lanterns come in a variety of colors to match most wedding themes.  Using yellow lanterns paired with slate grey ribbon, hanging on white chairs, this casual/modern piece will be perfect for our ceremony.

The other decoration ideas?  You’ll just have to wait and see!

Next Week: Invitations & Save-the-Dates

As I was pondering how to decorate my reception, inspiration came from a gift I actually received!  An amazingly artistic and creative friend, Laura, had given me a fantastic engagement gift that was both unique and personal.  Within my box of goodies was this beautiful photo ornament which she had personalized with photos of me and my fiance.

My friend had selected four pictures of us together, resized them, and placed them inside the Fotoball.  She created a personal and touching gift that I will definitely hang on the Christmas tree.  Of course, in my line of work I had to find out more about this well-built creation by Umbra – an international designer for household goods.  And the ideas just started flowing…

Imagine using their Fotofall to display a photo collage of you and your honey on a table next to your guestbook.  Or have guests takes Polaroids and add themselves to the display:

What about making an interactive guestbook with these dry-erase photo frames.  Get pictures of your bridal party or guests and add a clever or witty note:

There are millions of ways to display photos – you don’t have to limit yourself to plain old frames.  You just need to find creative inspiration from companies like Umbra and friends like Laura!

-Jenny