Of course, I realize I’m mortal and therefore not immune to the inevitabilities of aging, but I suppose I didn’t expect to experience the “side effects” so soon. Several years ago, I remember a coworker telling me that after age 50, her whole body started to fall apart. For some reason, I didn’t think that would happen to me—at least not until age 70 or so.

When, at age 45, I started to experience thinning and unmanageable hair, a suddenly “softer” body, and drier, saggier skin—among other affronts—I was startled. I panicked and bought age-decelerating skin care creams and age-defying shampoo and conditioner (spoiler alert: they don’t do much). I got all wrapped up in my altered appearance and sidelined by sadness and negativity. Looking older on the outside started to seep into my pores, affecting how I felt on the inside. I started feeling and acting like a scrooge: cranky and morose.

Of course, I realize that growing old is a blessing, especially since the alternative is grave.

It wasn’t until I started researching aging for an article I’m writing that I realized how far my attitude had gone astray. I was focusing on the outer aspects of myself—those that don’t really matter—rather than the inner aspects. I was being petty, darn it, and I hate petty! Thank goodness I came across these quotes, which brought me back to my senses:

“Aging isn’t youth lost but a new stage of opportunity.” –Betty Friedan

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” –Sophia Loren

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” –Mark Twain

I feel much better now. Those who have aged gracefully are helping me age gratefully. Within the term “growing older,” the operative word is “growing.”

Food, the way nature intended, tastes good and is good for us. There’s no need to mess with perfection.

We look at a perfectly good egg and, instead of marveling at what’s right with it, we focus on what’s (supposedly) wrong. Instead of seeing the sunny side–that an egg is one of nature’s most perfect foods (it’s loaded with nutrients including very high quality protein); we notice that the egg yolk contains fat and cholesterol—and call that bad.

Remove the egg yolk from the egg and you’ll have less fat and cholesterol and fewer calories but you’ll also miss out on all of the vitamin A, vitamin D, vitamin E, lutein and zeaxanthin (important for eye health), and most of the vitamin B12, choline (important for brain health), folate, calcium, iron and zinc.

Is the trade-off worth it? I say no. If there’s no yolk:

• You save a little fat (eggs are fairly low in saturated fat, anyway, and also contain monounsaturated fat), some cholesterol (cholesterol serves several important functions in the body and scientists now know that dietary cholesterol doesn’t negatively affect blood cholesterol nearly as much as once thought), and a few calories.

• You lose a lot of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants.

Eating 3-7 eggs per week is within the American Heart Association guidelines, and if folks eat at fast food restaurants occasionally, there’s nothing bad about a breakfast sandwich using the entire egg.

If folks are eating at fast food restaurants more than occasionally, that’s not moderation. If folks are eating eggs every single day, that’s not moderation, nor is it enjoying a wide variety of nutrient-rich foods.

The egg has got it goin’ on. Why not let all its nutrients benefit your body–the way nature intended?

More:

Nutrient Content of One Large Egg, Egg Nutrition Center

Good Eggs: For Nutrition, They’re Hard to Beat, WebMD

1. Disbelief. What??? Why??? Are you crazy? I can’t believe this. This is ridiculous. What is happening to this world!

2. Anger. Who are YOU to tell ME what I can and can’t do!

3. Bargaining. No cake at all for the rest of my life? That’s awfully harsh. What about my birthday? Cake is part of my identity. I have strong emotional ties to cake—lots of good memories, you know. How about just one little slice of cake on my birthday?

4. Depression. Oh, cake . . . I loved it so. But cake is gone from my life. How will I live without it? Other people can have their cake and eat it, too, but not ME. Birthdays won’t ever be the same and MY birthdays will be totally meaningless. Why go on?

5. Obsession (rather than of the stage of Acceptance in the grieving process). Cake, cake, cake. It’s all I think about. I have to have it. I’m going to have it. I will find a way . . .

Before the cake ban, you were fine eating cake once in a while. It wasn’t a big deal—you could take it or leave it. But once you were told “no” to cake, you think about cake all the time, and in great detail. You’re preoccupied with all things cake. You see signs for bakeries and pastry shops you never noticed before; you watch the Cake Boss religiously; you collect cake recipes. Thoughts of obtaining cake on the sly and eating it in secret consume a huge part of your life.

This is why food rules are ridiculous. At the very least, they’re counterproductive because they backfire (see above). At the very worst, they can set people up for unnecessary guilt, feelings of failure, poor self-esteem, binging and even eating disorders.

People can’t eat normally when following rules dictated by outside forces (eat this, not that doctrines; weight loss diets; the number on the bathroom scale). People can only eat normally when following their innate, internal feelings of hunger and fullness.

Unfortunately, the sage advice that “there are no good foods or bad foods” isn’t making much headway in today’s society. In the last few weeks, Oprah.com ran an article called “Five Foods that Should Never Be in Your Grocery Cart” (Never!) and Philly.com ran an article called “The Top 10 Foods Nutrition Experts Won’t Feed Their Kids.” (Ever!)

Guess what the Oprah.com article says is the number one taboo in the grocery store? Simple sugars or carbs and unhealthy fats. Seriously. That means no cake for you—never, ever!

Tell me how you feel about that.

To maintain mobility, independence and quality of life as we age, adequate muscle mass and strength is of utmost importance. Strong muscles are also vital for disease prevention: lack of muscle mass may increase risk of type 2 diabetes which can lead to an increase in the risk of heart disease.

To build muscle, the fact that our bodies need dietary protein and physical activity that puts stress on muscles is nothing new. What is new is research that details how to maximize muscle-building and muscle maintenance:

• Age-related muscle loss (sarcopenia) begins after age 30 and accelerates with each decade. It’s estimated that sarcopenia affects 30% of people aged 60 and older and more than 50% of those over age 80.

• Intake of dietary protein that contains the amino acid leucine is particularly important because leucine may trigger the muscle-building process. Whey protein, legumes, beef, salmon, shrimp, chicken, eggs and nuts such as peanuts, almonds and walnuts contain leucine.

• An adequate amount of protein at each meal is critical. Research suggests that the body needs 25-30 grams of protein at one time in order to build muscle. Less than that doesn’t optimally stimulate muscle growth and more than that doesn’t provide extra benefit.

Experts recommend consuming 25-30 grams of protein (about 4 ounces of protein) at breakfast, lunch and dinner—except for people with compromised kidney function—to best benefit muscles. An added bonus is that protein helps you feel fuller longer.

Getting enough protein at lunch and dinner is fairly easy, however, getting 25-30 grams of protein at breakfast may require some forethought. My usual breakfast of oatmeal topped with walnuts and dried cherries with a splash of milk and three cups of coffee containing about a half cup of milk in all adds up to about 16 grams of protein—not enough for maximum muscle-building. This breakfast fills me up, so instead of adding high-protein foods that would make me feel too full, I designed a few well-balanced breakfast options that provide 25-30 grams of protein but won’t weigh me down. Enjoy!

Breakfast A (26 grams protein)
1 cup protein-fortified cereal such as Special K Protein Plus (13 grams protein)
½ cup strawberries, sliced (0.5 grams protein)
½ cup milk (4 grams protein)
½ English muffin, toasted (2.5 grams protein)
1 ½ TBS peanut butter (6 grams protein)

Breakfast B (27 grams protein)
Pomegranate Berry Blast Smoothie (27 grams protein)

Breakfast C (27.5 grams protein)
Yogurt parfait:
1 cup Greek yogurt (23 grams protein)
¼ cup granola (2 grams protein)
½ banana, sliced (0.5 grams protein)
1/8 cup walnuts (2 grams protein)

Breakfast D (31 grams protein)
2 eggs (14 grams protein)
1 oz. Cheddar cheese (7 grams protein)
salsa
1 slice oatmeal bread, toasted (2 grams protein)
1 cup milk (8 grams protein)

The reason it’s called Fireweed is this: After a forest fire, it’s often the first plant to emerge from the burnt ground. As long as there is open space and light, it flourishes, growing with abandon. Fireweed is in a category of plants called pioneer plants: Hardy species that are the first to colonize previously disrupted or damaged ecosystems, fostering a more biodiverse and stable ecosystem. Once other plants usurp the space and light, the Fireweed dies off, but that’s not the end of the story. The seeds of the Fireweed lie dormant in the ground until light reaches them once again and they germinate.

Light and space for the Fireweed is like self-care for humans. We need self-care to grow and thrive. Self-care is the nurturing and nourishment you give yourself because you know it’s important to your health and wellbeing and that it will have a positive effect on your ecosystem—your family, friends, coworkers, community and environment. In The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson, she describes self-care as “Living in a way that cultivates health and life balance to maintain energy and grow as a person. Self-care includes nurturing body, mind, spirit, relationships and the environment.”

The first step to self-care is getting over the belief that self-care is selfish. Because it’s not. Look at is this way: As an adult, you are responsible for yourself and you can’t expect anyone to take care of you but you. Of course, love and support from others is great, but it doesn’t go very far if you’re not loving and supporting yourself. And, of course, you want to love and support others but you can’t do that very well if you don’t have the energy and healthy mindset that come from loving and supporting yourself first.

When you practice self-care, you care for yourself and also plant the seeds (by role modeling) to help future generations do the same.

It’s not easy, but learning to put yourself first is the best thing you can do—for yourself and everyone else in your life.

One way to put yourself first is to stop doing what you don’t want to do. There are ways to say no with grace and without guilt!

Self-care encompasses many aspects (Richardson’s book guides you through one aspect of self care per month so you have time to practice each one and integrate them into your life over the course of a year).

Where to start? Here’s my best self-care jump-start advice:

• Make a long list of the things that make you feel good/content/happy. Strive for at least 100 items. For example, a few of the things on my list are: walking in the woods, talking with my daughter, taking a yoga class, eating oatmeal with dried cherries and walnuts, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, baking cookies or bread, and reading a page-turner by the fire.

• Now, choose several of the items on your list that take 10 minutes or less.

• In your calendar, add one of these items to each day for the next 30 days.

• Do them. Notice how you feel. Do others notice a difference in you, too?

The combination of beautiful scenery, bird song, and the scent of the woods was like an anti-anxiety drug, seeping through the seams of my armor.

After returning home, I drifted through several days, still feeling the sense of calm I had absorbed from the woods, water and wind. I wondered how long it would last—hoping the serenity had taken hold like the delicate tendrils of the Everlasting Peas, or Sweet Peas, growing along the U.P. roadsides. Away from nature, though, the tendrils survived only three days.

I need to continue to nourish the tendrils with what’s awe-inspiring, according to a Stanford University study that found gazing at a beautiful landscape or listening to a majestic symphony may make people feel less rushed, more patient and more compassionate toward others.

Awe, the researchers discovered, gives people the sense that time has slowed down, resulting in feeling less hurried, more charitable and less materialistic. The participants reported that the small dose of awe provided a momentary boost in life satisfaction.

For me, nature journaling is one way to experience awe. What do you suggest?

When confusion or pain seems to tighten what is possible, when sadness or frustration shrinks your sense of well-being, when worry or fear agitates the peace right out of you, try lending your attention to the nearest thing . . . Give your full attention over to the nearest patch of life–to how an apple peels and juices–and after a while each thing attended will reveal yet another way back to the center.

One of the reasons I love to draw is that it demands my full attention. To draw, I must force myself to focus and concentrate on every detail. This is much different than my usual ways of registering things: A cursory glance or a broad, blurry once-over. When I observe something in my drawing mode, I truly see it, and that’s the only way I can come to know it and appreciate its beauty.

While on vacation in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula several years ago, I noticed a little orange flower at the edge of a lake. Moving in closer, I saw that the bloom was a pretty little pendant. According to a Michigan wildflower guide, it’s a Spotted Touch-Me-Not, also known as Orange Jewelweed.

It’s so named because when the flower’s ripe seed pods are touched, they explode, spraying seeds every which way. Although not confirmed by controlled studies, the “juice” from the plant’s crushed stems may help alleviate the skin rash from poison ivy.

A few days after returning from the U.P., still feeling relaxed from vacation, my husband and I were running on a path in town that, at one point, follows alongside a creek. Lo and behold, growing between the path and the creek were Spotted Touch-Me-Nots.

Bound in layers of personal and work-related thoughts, I hadn’t noticed it before—I’d run, bleary-eyed, past the beauty in my own backyard.

For a full week, we stayed in a little cabin we rented on South Manistique Lake (near Curtis). This summer marks our sixth year renting the same cabin. Only now, we stay for two heavenly weeks.

More comfortable writing than drawing, I put pen to paper on the journal’s first blank page, which is always the most daunting, by copying a legend that hangs on the wall of Chet & Pat’s Old-Fashioned Ice Cream Parlour in Curtis.

Yooper Creation Story

In da beginning, dere was nuttin.
Den, on da first day, God created da U.P.
On da second day, He created da partridge, da deer, da bear, da fish and da ducks.
On da third day He said, “Let dere be Yoopers to roam da U.P.”
On da fourth day He created da udder world down below and on da fifth day He said, “Let dere be Trolls to live in da world down below.”
On da sixth day He created “Da Bridge” so da Trolls would have a way to get to heaven.
God said it was good and on da seventh day, He went huntin’!

We didn’t go hunting once we were in the U.P., but we nearly got shot trying to get there. When we reached the toll booth on the Yooper side of the Mackinac Bridge, my husband asked the gentleman in the toll booth, “Do people ever get all the way over here and then have no money to pay?” Toll booth man said, “Oh, yah.” My husband asked, “What do you do?” Toll booth man said, deadpan, “We just pull the trigger.”

Safe and sound in our cabin on the lake in the U.P., the first thing I drew was what I thought was a female Black Duck but was probably a Mallard, as she watched over her four ducklings on the lawn between (our) Cabin #5 and South Manistique Lake.

Although my drawing is nothing to write home about, God said it was good.

More: “Nature Up Close and Personal: Journaling Benefits Body and Mind”

First it was Quiet which helped me understand that a predisposition to introversion has many merits and that it’s perfectly OK to be “the quiet type.” Now it’s Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani which helped me understand what my purpose is—and everyone else’s is—in life.

I am a quintessential skeptic, so when something strikes a chord, that’s when I take notice. And everything Mooryani wrote in Dying to Be Me resonates with me. Many may dismiss Moorjani’s experience as unbelievable, but to me, it’s perfectly believable.

Moorjani had a near-death experience. One that brought her back after cancer left her in a wheelchair, on oxygen, and eventually dying in a hospital’s emergency room as her lungs filled with fluid and her organs shut down. One she remembers with amazing clarity. One she learned from and applies to her life.

Moorjani says others can benefit from her near-death experience—without going through what brought her there. Here’s what the experience taught Moorjani and what she would like others to know:

• Life isn’t meant to be so hard.
• Life doesn’t have to be so hard.
• We’re not meant to be so hard on ourselves.
• We’re not meant to beat ourselves up.
• We’re meant to have fun and laugh in this world. We’re spiritual beings having a human experience and our human experience is meant to be enjoyed.
• Your purpose on earth is to be yourself—fearlessly.

Moorjani learned that what matters most is how you feel about yourself. So if you love yourself, if you’re true to yourself, if you do what makes you happy (which may be doing nothing at all), and if you’re open to possibilities, then everything will fall into place—everything will be as it’s meant to be.

You’ve heard it before: Only when you love and accept yourself is it possible to love and accept others.

What does this have to do with health? When living life according to a purpose—being yourself—and accepting yourself, the mind is at peace and the body responds with health and vitality. The mind and body are inextricably interconnected.

If this sounds true to you—or even if it doesn’t—if you’re reading this blog post, then I believe you’re meant to read Dying to Be Me.

In the United States, it happens 15-25 times a year.

It can happen to anyone. It can happen to you.

Human memory is not infallible. “If you’re capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child,” says David Diamond, professor of molecular physiology at the University of South Florida, who researches the interaction of emotion, stress and memory.*

Around 15-25 times a year, a child is forgotten; left inside a car for hours; and dies from hyperthermia.

According to Diamond, a combination of particular circumstances—the perfect storm—can cause the part of the brain that allows us to operate on autopilot to override our thought-processing center, leading to mistakes in memory.

The perfect storm is acute or chronic stress, emotion, lack of sleep and a change in routine.

“Some people think, ‘Okay, I can see forgetting a child for two minutes, but not eight hours,’” says Janette Fennell, who runs a nonprofit organization that lobbies for car safety for children, Kids and Cars. “What they don’t understand is that the parent in his or her mind has dropped off the baby at day care and thinks the baby is happy and well taken care of. Once that’s in your brain, there is no reason to worry or check on the baby for the rest of the day.”*

Diamond and Fennell were interviewed for the article “Fatal Distraction: Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of a Car Is a Horrifying Mistake. Is It a Crime?” in The Washington Post. Parents who fell victim to the perfect storm were also interviewed.

Fennell believes the solution to the perfect storm and the way to save children’s lives is improved car safety features and increased public awareness that this can happen.

So, please read this article. And please tell everyone you know about what can happen.

P.S. It’s happened again recently. Here’s a report from ABC about a distracted father who left his two-year-old son in the car for two hours in Kentucky’s summer heat. Thankfully, a co-worker saw the child and called the police. The boy survived. The report mentions a free app called “Baby Reminder” that may be helpful to caregivers.

***

*Quotes are from the article “Fatal Distraction: Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of a Car Is a Horrifying Mistake. Is It a Crime?” in The Washington Post.