The house I’m leasing here in beautiful Monument, CO went to foreclosure sale and reverted back to the bank, and then Fannie Mae, on Nov. 9th of last year.

We (my honey and I) love this house. It’s everything we were looking for and then some. It’s a gorgeous house and it backs to pine forest. As idyllic a setting as I could have hoped for.

We moved in just six months ago. We signed a three year lease because we were ready to settle in and stay for awhile. (I don’t know about you but I’m not a big fan of moving and I’ve already moved three times in the last four years. ; )

When we began getting notices regarding the impending foreclosure sale, we didn’t panic. We did our research and we knew we had rights under the Protecting Tenants at Foreclosure Act that President Obama signed into law back in May of ’09.

The PTFA in essence, requires that any purchase at foreclosure sale is subject to the terms of any existing bona-fide lease. The only exception being if the buyer intends to occupy the residence, in which case they must serve the tenants with 90 day notice.

In our case, the house reverted to Fannie Mae and of course, they aren’t going to be occupying the house, so we weren’t the least bit worried.

What we didn’t know then, that we do know now, is that the PTFA is, (are you ready for this?!) self-regulating. Meaning…no one is enforcing it. It’s left to the big organizations like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and the big banks, to regulate themselves. And we all know how well that works.

The PTFA is a federal statute. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that a federally-backed organization like Fannie Mae would, or could, simply disregard the law. It’s the law, after all, right? So when we submitted our lease to Fannie Mae for their “approval” we could not have been more surprised, just a few days later, to be told that they would not be “approving” our lease.

They offered us a new 12 month term lease that would have required us to sign away all our rights and would have offered us no protection at all.

We declined and I began a round of phone calls to anyone and everyone I could think of who might be able to help us – the CO State Atty. General’s office, DORA (Dept. of Regulatory Agencies), HUD, and several other agencies, including a local but nationally known consumer advocate…all to no avail. It wasn’t until phoning Senator Michael Bennet’s office that we got some help.

Our contact there filed a formal inquiry with the Federal Housing & Finance Agency that oversees Fannie Mae. We breathed a sigh of relief to have at least found someone who might be able to help. The FHFA was investigating.

Meanwhile, I’d phoned Fannie Mae again to address their initial denial of approval of our lease, citing the PTFA. They said they’d review it and within days they denied us yet again.

We reiterated that we would be asserting our right to remain in the premises until the end of the term of our lease, as is our right under the PTFA. At that time, a week or so before Christmas, we still weren’t worried. The FHFA was investigating…surely they’d force Fannie Mae to comply with the law.

That was nearly a month ago. Flash forward to this past Monday…when we were served with a Demand for Possession requiring us to vacate the premises, not in 90 days, not in 3 days….but IMMEDIATELY.

WHAT?! To say that we were stunned would be an understatement.

Since we were quite sure we were well within our rights to remain, and that the FHFA would surely step in to enforce the PTFA, we were distressed to see that the situation had escalated to the point of a demand to vacate immediately.

When I shared what was going on with a few close friends all were stunned, and commented on how stunned they were, that I wasn’t completely freaking out.

But here’s the thing…I can freak out and I can sit here and bemoan the fact that this shouldn’t be happening…this is precisely the kind of situation that the PTFA was designed to prevent…or I can accept that, like it or not, this is what’s happening and I can look at what needs to be done, and then get down to it.

I was watching the pilot episode of Alcatraz last night when Doc asked Lucy why she wasn’t freaking out, and she replied, “How I feel about what’s happening doesn’t change the fact that it is happening.” So very, very true.

The truth is…it doesn’t serve us to allow ourselves to devolve into panic. When we’re in a state of panic…not only is it crazy-uncomfortable…but we can’t think straight and so we freeze. Panic keeps us stuck at precisely the time we most need to think clearly and take whatever pro-active steps we can take.

So really, I have two choices…I can sit here with my head in the sand, whining about how unfair life is and how this shouldn’t be happening, until the Sheriff shows up on my doorstep next week to forcibly remove us, or I can face the reality of the situation and I can take a good hard look at what steps I need to be taking.

Have I given up the fight? Not a chance. With the help of an amazing colleague with a background in real estate law, I composed a Notice of Violation of the PTFA and sent it out to the law firm that served the Demand for Possession, to Fannie Mae, the FHFA and the Senator’s office. And I’ve been on the phone again to each of them as well.  We have, for the moment, done all we can on that front.

And in the meantime, while we’re waiting to see how this will all unfold over the next week or so…we’re packing. Because, while this “shouldn’t” be happening, and we’re still hoping that ultimately it won’t…it’s sure starting to look as though it might.

Does the thought that a Sheriff may show up on our doorstep to force us out in less than two weeks freak me out? You bet it does.

I can’t quite fathom how we’re going to get the entire house packed, let alone find another home to move into, that quickly but thankfully even in the midst of all this chaos…we’re very blessed.

Unlike so many others in this country who have been forced out of their homes and onto the street in recent years, we have family and friends that have graciously offered to open their homes to us until we can find another.

And so, life goes on, and I have a biz to run, so I simply don’t allow myself to dwell in that place of panic. When those thoughts start spinning, and the panic rises up, I make a conscious choice to re-direct my attention from what I cannot control to what I can.

I remind myself of what  I know to be true, and of what I’ve learned and teach to others about coping with unexpected, and unwelcome, change.

How Not to Freak Out

1. Breathe. When we’re stressed we tend to breathe very shallowly which elicits the physiological fight or flight response – shooting your adrenaline sky high and creating that panicked feeling which then causes more shallow breathing and round and round you go. When you stop, close your eyes, and take several slow, deep, breaths an equal, but opposite, physiological relaxation response occurs.

2. Trust and have faith that your life is unfolding perfectly, especially in those moments when it least feels as though it is. It’s often those seemingly “negative” situations we face that hold the promise of the greatest gifts and growth and lead to equally unexpected blessings.

3. Reach out for help and support. Identify the people that might be able to offer assistance and/or support and rather than hiding out, reach out to let them know how they can help.

4. When the panic hits…repeat steps 1-3 and then make a conscious choice to shift your attention from what you cannot control to what you can. What pro-active steps can you take? Identify them and begin taking them. The more present in the moment, and the more engaged you are, with whatever is right in front of you…the better off you’ll be.

5. Take good care of yourself. It’s easy when life feels stressful or chaotic to lose sight of the things you most need to function at your best. Eating regular, healthy meals and getting good rest can be challenging. And the more enjoyable activities that really nourish and energize you often get tossed by the wayside altogether. Make a conscious effort to ensure that you don’t let those things slide completely. Maintaining your routine will provide a sense of stability in the midst of the chaos and taking part in activities that you enjoy will help to keep you sane.

So, I’ll be taking advantage of this opportunity to continue to walk my talk, and to practice rolling with change, and I hope you’ll take heart the next time you’re faced with unexpected, and often unwanted, change, in knowing that no matter how dire the circumstances may seem, you don’t have to freak out.

Time for me to get back to the packing…but don’t let that stop you from jumping into the comments to share your thoughts…I’ll be looking forward to them.

*UPDATE: We asked our contact at Senator Bennet’s office to inquire with the FHFA if it might be possible to enforce a stay on the eviction proceedings while they finish their investigation and we just got word that they’ve done just that.  So while nothing is decided just yet and we may yet have to move before the end of our lease, we can relax a bit knowing that there won’t be a Sheriff on our doorstep looking to force us out next week. ; )

A few days ago, I happened across Stephen Dimmick’s website and videos and I love them. Stephen is so natural and down-to-earth in his videos that it feels as though he’s chatting with an old friend and I find that incredibly appealing.

He clearly knows his stuff and really enjoys what he does, and he keeps his videos to about three minutes making it easy for anyone to find the time to watch. That he also delivers some really great make-up tips is a nice bonus.

As his twitter bio says, he’s “dishing a daily dose of gorgeous w/ Aussie attitude and N.Y style.” And it goes on to say…”If you ain’t a nice person makeup won’t help. After all, True Beauty Only Comes From Experience.” So true.

When I happen across someone like Stephen I like to share. So yesterday I tweeted, “Do you know how to effectively spot conceal so your skin looks flawless? @dailydimmick shows you just how to do it: http://shar.es/Wy7VM ”

And surprise, surprise, it wasn’t one of my women followers who replied to that tweet. It was @TimBrownson of A Daring Adventure with this provocative reply, “ is the answer meditate on mindfulness and don’t give a shit about external beauty? ”

Oooo…the gauntlet had been thrown down. I paused in surprise for only a moment before picking it up and tossing it back Tim’s way. ; )

The rest of our brief twitter chat went like this:

Me: I think you can be mindful and still care about your appearance w/out obsessing.

Tim: Not sure where the line is to be honest. Can’t imagine the Buddha ever using a cover up stick.

Me: It’s a fine line for sure. But the reality is…most of us do care about our appearance.

Me: And we should…it’s a reflection of our respect and caring for ourselves. Whether it’s cover-up or it’s a clean, pressed shirt.

Tim: Maybe Mrs Buddha did though.

Me: lol…she just might have.

Are mindfulness & makeup mutually exclusive?

140 characters simply doesn’t do justice to the provocative and valid question Tim raised. The heart of which (correct me if I’m wrong here, Tim) is the question of whether mindfulness and attention to external beauty are mutually exclusive.

I don’t think they are. While on the surface it might seem a contradiction, I think it’s simply a matter of balance.

Do I advocate paying obsessive attention to external beauty? Definitely not. But the reality is…I’m not Buddha and I’m not spending my days sitting under a Bodhi tree. (And that I know of, neither are my twitter followers. ; )

On the flip side…do I advocate completely disregarding your appearance on your path to attaining “enlightenment?” Hmm…what do you suppose that might look like?!

We could go back to medieval times and stop showering more than once a week, stop wearing makeup or brushing our hair, stop giving any care to what we wear…no need to iron clothes or pick them up from the dry-cleaner.

We could even have a theme song! We could simply tweak the lyrics to “I’m Too Sexy.” It would go like this…

“I’m too enlightened for my shirt, too enlightened for my shirt…”

Now, let’s get real here…

…the above scenario would be a little ridiculous wouldn’t it? I think swinging too far toward either extreme isn’t healthy.

I meditate, and I practice living mindfully. AND…I care about my appearance. I don’t obsess over it, but I do care about it.

I’ve never been a fashionista. I don’t really care what the fashion fads or trends are, but I like to look reasonably well put together.

I don’t visit the salon every week or spend hundreds on expensive cremes and makeup. I’ve never had any kind of plastic surgery and don’t intend to, and I’m not one of those women who can’t walk past a reflective surface without stopping to admire herself, and you’ll never see me re-applying lipstick in public every five minutes.

There are days I roll out of bed and dive into work only to realize at noon that I haven’t so much as looked in a mirror, let alone brushed my hair. But would I walk out the door like that to run errands or to attend a business meeting? Um, no…not a chance in hell.

And I don’t believe for a moment that my choice to use makeup or to do my hair, or carefully choosing what to wear, is an indication that I’m less enlightened than someone who doesn’t.

Taking care with our appearance is a reflection of our self-respect and value. And like it or not…much of that critical first impression with others is based primarily, if not exclusively, on appearance.

And doesn’t it just feel good to get dressed to the nines once in awhile for a night on the town? And doesn’t the perfect, flattering suit give you an extra boost of confidence when going into that business meeting or speaking on stage?

Make-up is no different. If watching Stephen’s video on how to spot conceal helps a woman to feel a bit better, to feel a bit more self-confident, how is that a bad thing?

As a teen I had the worst acne. I’m not talking the pimple here or there that most teens have to deal with from time to time. I’m talking severe cystic acne. (To this day I have the scars on my face to prove it.)

To say that it made me feel self-conscious is a huge understatement. It made me want to fall through the floor most of the time, and there was no hiding it. Not really. Had there been a product then that would have hidden it…I’d have grabbed it and used it in a heartbeat.

Because, ironically…while some may say that make-up puts too much emphasis on the superficial, external beauty rather than on who that person really is on the inside…when I was dealing with that damn cystic acne…that’s all anyone saw. They didn’t see the real me. They were too focused on the acne. Or at least that’s how it felt.

Did the horrible appearance of the acne on my face make me any less of a person? Of course not. But you could have talked to me until you were blue in the face about how true beauty is on the inside and it wouldn’t have made one iota of difference in how I felt every time I had to go out in public.

That kind of self-consciousness is excruciating. If a bit of cover-up or lipstick or eye-liner eases that discomfort for you…I say more power to you.

What do you think? Are mindfulness and make-up mutually exclusive? I would LOVE to have a rousing discussion on this topic in the comments…so please…don’t hold back…dive right in and share your thoughts and experiences.

Life IS change and your perspective as you navigate life changes is everything. And the key to maintaining a perspective that will make navigating life changes easier, rather than creating additional struggle, is the right support. With the right support there’s nothing you can’t handle.

And that’s what The Life Change Network is all about…providing you with the support you need to successfully navigate change. The Life Change Network community includes featured contributors who offer up their experience, expertise and insights on a variety of change – everything from parenting to business.

Whatever change or life transition you might be facing…The Life Change Network can help, and I’m honored to have been asked recently to join them as one of their featured contributors. This month’s theme is all about designing change and my first article for them, “Transforming Your Experience of Change” is live today. I’d love it if you’d pop over to check it out and while you’re there…take a few moments to poke around and to check out all the wonderful articles and resources.

If you know me at all, then you know just how passionate I am about going after your dreams, NOW. Today. Not tomorrow, or next week or “someday.”

And of course, it’s easy for me to say someday may never come (and I’ve said just that in previous posts) but it’s also very easy for it to go in one ear and out the other, so to speak.

Easy for you to say, “Yeah, yeah, I know…I’ve heard it all before, but I’m young, or I’m healthy, or I’m ‘fill in the blank’ and I’ve got plenty of time. I’ll get to it…eventually…someday.”

So, instead of simply telling you yet again that someday may never come, I’m going to tell you a story instead.

Once upon a time…

…there was a strapping, healthy, active young man who loved life and lived it to its fullest. He worked hard and played harder.

He loved the outdoors and loved to go camping, fishing, hiking, spelunking, and rock climbing. He enjoyed cooking and dancing with his sweetheart, playing competitive pool, riding his motorcycle, surfing, deep sea fishing, and sky-diving.

He regularly spent time volunteering, revitilizing school playgrounds and parks, and he was studying Fire Science to become a firefighter.

He was barely 22. He was young, healthy and strong. He had his whole life ahead of him. A world of possibilities lay before him…

Until one fateful day, when, in one brief moment, everything changed. He blinked too long, fell asleep for the barest of moments, while driving on the freeway.

He no longer works, or volunteers. He’ll never rock climb or ride a motorcycle or sky-dive again. He can’t salsa dance with his sweetheart, or play pool, or surf or deep sea fish. And he won’t become a firefighter after all.

The accident that day broke his back. He fractured one vertebra and broke another. Several discs are damaged, bulging and herniated. The damage to his lower back is so significant that he can no longer bend over without excruciating pain and he can’t stand, sit, walk or lie down for extended periods.

He is in constant, unrelenting pain.

This story isn’t just a bad fairytale. I didn’t simply forget the happily-ever-after fairytale ending. This story isn’t a fairytale at all.

The young man in this story is my son.

The accident happened just three weeks after his 22nd birthday. Nearly three years ago. It was one of those momentous events that literally and dramatically altered the course of his life.

The vision he’d held of his future…of someday…was the fairytale. Gone in an instant.

When he first bought his motorcycle, I was beyond terrified, but I supported his choice and I’m so glad that I did, because…terrified as I was that day (and even more so the day he laid it down), I’m now equally grateful that he went after that dream. That he didn’t put it off until a “someday” that would never come.

It’s a toss up whether the bike instilled more fear in me or the sky-diving did, but as with the bike…I’m so very glad he went sky-diving when he did. That he had that experience. An experience he describes as one of the most amazing of his life.

Had he put it off until “someday,” he might have missed out entirely because sky-diving is no longer an option.

Most of the activities he was so passionate about he can no longer do. He can’t lift, or stretch to reach, or bend or twist, and so the simplest of household tasks and even personal tasks, like showering and dressing and putting his own shoes on are difficult and painful.

Things you and I take for granted, are a struggle for him. My once healthy, active son now walks with a cane. And although he rarely complains, the pain of the past three years is etched into his face.

Just last week I accompanied him to the most recent doctor appointment, where we were told that not only is his injury not going to improve, it’s going to get worse. The injury and instability in his lumbar spine are causing near-constant irritation of the nerves and will accelerate the degeneration that’s already begun.

Traditional medicine, for all it’s advances, cannot help him. The only thing that might, is a very expensive and experimental procedure.

His hopes and dreams now center, not on exciting adventures or wild new experiences, but on perhaps, someday…being free of pain. Being able to sleep through the night again, or dance with his honey, or hold a job doing work he finds meaningful. Being able, one day, when he has children, to pick them up, to run and play with them.

I don’t tell you any of this to elicit your sympathy. My son is an amazing young man, and while this is hands-down the most difficult thing he’s ever faced, he’s facing it with strength and courage and (most of the time) a really positive attitude.

He misses a lot of his old activities but he’s also developed a few new ones…he learned to make his own fishing lures (he still goes lake fishing with a friend every once in awhile) and he can crochet a mean blanket. ; )

My Heartfelt Plea to You

It’s my hope that sharing this personal story will have a greater impact than simply speaking hypothetically. That it might touch you in a way that will make you more open to my heartfelt plea…

Please, please, please…I’m begging you…whatever it is that you dream of…don’t wait for a fairytale someday that may never come. Go after it NOW.

Forget the New Year’s Resolutions this year. Instead, make a list of all that you long to do, or be, or experience, and then pick one. Just one. Identify the first small step you can take to move you toward it and do it. Do it now. Take that step, go after that dream, now, while you can.

Someday is a fairytale. It isn’t real. Someday lulls you into a false sense of security. It convinces you there will always be more time, later, when the reality is… there are no guarantees.

“Someday is a dream killer. It will kill your dreams in a heartbeat if you let it.”

~ Sandi Amorim

Please, if you go into the new year with nothing else…go into it with the determination not to let a fairytale “someday” kill your dreams.

Go into the new year determined that this year, this day, this moment…you WILL go after your dreams. No more waiting, no more excuses or rationalizations.

You will never regret going after a dream, but if you allow someday to kill your dreams…that you may well regret one day.

This. Is. It. This is your life. Live it boldy, fully, no-holds barred, no room for regrets.

With much love and heartfelt wishes for a wonderful, dream-filled New Year…

Do you remember what Christmas was like as a child? The wonder, excitement and anticipation you felt? Oh, the possibilities…

You made out your Santa wish list of all the things you’d been dreaming of, and on Christmas morning, when you got your first peek at the presents under the tree, your heart would race, and the anticipation intensified as you wondered…which of the many things you’d been longing for might be lying, right there, under the tree, wrapped in pretty paper and tied with a bright bow. Just waiting. For you to reach for it, open it, enjoy it…

This year, give yourself that same incredible, memorable experience. Let yourself dream. Let yourself play with the infinite possibilities. Let that magical sense of wonder and excitement and anticipation fill you.

This New Year’s Eve instead of sitting down to write out a list of New Year’s resolutions that you’ll have tossed aside by February, suspend your disbelief for a moment and make a list of all that you dream of.. and then make a commitment to yourself. That THIS year will be the year you go after those dreams, those possibilities. This will be the year you begin to live full-out, no-holds-barred.

This is the year, NOW, that you begin to live the life you have imagined.

You’re making plans and envisioning the picture-perfect Norman Rockwell holiday. You want it to be perfect. Of course you do. But…there’s no such thing and in attempting to create the perfect holiday you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

It’s our own expectations, not others’ behavior, that creates disappointment and frustration, and can suck the joy out of the holidays.

When you know that Uncle Harry ties one on every year at Thanksgiving, expecting him not to tie one on this year is likely to create disappointment. Instead, consider leaving earlier in the evening before he’s completely looped and picking a fight or singing Christmas carols in his underwear.

If your three year old son is a wild child, expecting him to sit quietly twiddling his thumbs in the backseat of the car for the three hour drive to Uncle Harry’s is likely to create disappointment (and no small amount of frustration for both you and your son).  Instead, pack picture books, toys, and snacks so your little guy doesn’t get either bored or hungry.

And if you know that your sister-in-law and your mother-in-law always go rounds over the dinner table…rather than expecting that somehow, some way, this year is going to be different, put them at opposite ends of the table and enlist the help of other family members to engage each of them in conversation (and be prepared to break it up if they manage to go at one another anyway).

It’s easy to point the finger at the black sheep in the family and pronounce him or her responsible for the debacle that has become your family holiday but the reality is…that person is simply being who they are.

Like it or don’t, but don’t expect that someone is going to suddenly depart from their normal behavior simply because you have visions of sugar plums dancing in your head.

While it’s natural to want the holidays to be a time of love and connection, and family bonding, it’s important to remember that it can also be a stressful time and one (because of the family get-togethers) that tends to trigger old behavioral patterns and unresolved emotions.

Suddenly you and your grown sister are bickering like you did in elementary school, or you’re shrinking (and feeling like you’re 9 again) under the critical eye of your mother as she provides commentary on your housekeeping or parenting skills.

Remembering that this can be both a joyful and a stressful time for you and your loved ones will go a long way toward keeping you focused on being compassionate rather than critical, and making the most of your time with your family even if it isn’t quite as you envisioned.

Here are a few tips to help you make the holidays as fun and enjoyable as possible:

Check your expectations at the door and vow to make the most of your time with your family – quirks and all.

Plan activities that will help keep everyone present in the moment. It can be a great way to encourage everyone to have fun and to keep the conflict to a minimum. Get a game of flag football going or break out the poker chips and cards. Get the kids involved in helping with meal prep or setting the table. Dim the lights and settle in to watch the family’s favorite holiday movie or play a rousing game of charades.

Limit the alcohol. Don’t rush to break out the booze at noon, and don’t rush to keep everyone’s glasses perpetually full. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and loosens tongues…not a great recipe for family harmony.

Anticipate, and plan for, any potential problems. If you know your little one will be starving and in desperate need of a nap come 3pm…don’t plan dinner for that hour, or plan to feed the little ones before the adults sit down. If you know a particular topic sets your mother off on a diatribe…don’t bring up that topic! (Really…sometimes it is just that simple.)

Ease your own stress as much as possible…don’t take on hosting and cooking the entire meal for 40. Enlist help. Hire someone to come in to clean the day before. Have family members bring side dishes, or dessert. Set up an after dinner assembly line to clean up the post-meal mess. Treat yourself to a relaxing massage before or after.

Lighten up. Remember to breathe and to keep your sense of humor. That side dish that blew up in the microwave? Laugh it off. The dog wildly chasing the cat as she weaves through the legs of your guests? Grab your camera and hope to get a good shot of the action for America’s Funniest Videos.

Remember that it is NOT your job to keep everyone happy. While it’s a noble intention…it’s an impossibility. You aren’t responsible for, nor can you control, everyone else’s feelings. You can set the stage for everyone to enjoy the holiday but you can’t guarantee it. If Aunt Emily is bound and determined to moan and complain all day…there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Tempting as it may be to attempt to cajole her out of her bad mood, all you’re likely to do is drag yourself down too. Rather than buy into it, ignore it.

Consider how you might simplify. Go casual. Do you really need the fine china? Or would everyone have more time to enjoy one another if you bought pretty disposal plates and serving dishes and cut the clean up in half? Must you prepare every dish? Order a Honey-Baked Ham instead. Or bake every dessert? Marie Callendar’s makes a pretty darn good pie. Do you really need to spend three days decking the halls from floor to ceiling? Maybe a pretty tree and a nice wreath on the door are enough.

Plan ahead. Don’t leave everything to the last minute. Do what you can in advance, at a more relaxed pace and you’ll enjoy the actual holiday celebration that much more.

Don’t overextend yourself. You don’t have to accept every invitation to every party or get-together. If you keep yourself on an intense schedule before the holiday, you’ll be stressed out before you even get started.

What do you do to ensure the holidays are as enjoyable as they can be? How do you minimize the potential for conflict? If you’ve got some great tips and tricks of your own…please! Do share!

‎”Life has to have a sense of fun, a lilt, a swinging of spirit.” ~ Patricia Corbin

When was the last time you played?

No, really…don’t roll your eyes. This is important stuff. I know you’re busy, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that just because play isn’t work, and is fun, that it isn’t also immensely valuable.

As children we learned through play, through exploring the world around us with a sense of wonder and curiosity. And somehow, as we “grew up” many of us came to believe that play is only for children. We mistakenly thought we should “grow out of” the desire to play, put childish things aside, and focus only on being responsible, contributing adults.

Play is a critical component to your well-being no matter your age.

Play reinvigorates your spirit, boosts creativity, can get you unstuck and, when you play with others…it deepens the connection and bond between you and your playmate, whether that’s a child, pet, friend, or your significant other.

When my oldest son was little, I wanted desperately to get down on the floor with him and just let loose, but when I did get down on the floor to play with him I realized that I had no clue how to play.  It felt stiff and awkward. I didn’t know how to relax and let go of my “adult” inhibitions around play.

If, like me, you had a rough childhood that didn’t include a lot of play, or where play was actively discouraged, you may have to make a conscious effort to relax, let go of the inhibitions and just have fun. At first it may not feel like much fun at all…in fact it may feel downright uncomfortable. But trust me…stick with it. It will enhance your life in ways you can’t yet begin to imagine.

My boys taught me to play again and while it felt awkward at first, it was one of the most amazing gifts they’ve given me. When you lose touch with play, with your own playful nature…your spirit is squelched, and that can’t help but affect everything and everyone in your life.

What did you love to do as a child? What were your favorite ways to play?

Your TWZ Challenge 

Pick one and take some time out to revisit your childhood and the magic of play.

At a garage sale a few weeks ago, I came across a copy of “The Island of Blue Dolphins,” a favorite novel from my childhood. (I’ve been an avid reader since I learned to read and I still LOVE good children’s picture books.) I bought it. I couldn’t resist. And I’m so glad I did.

This weekend I’m going to take some time to begin re-reading it. Maybe not exactly play, but certainly a trip back to my childhood.

I’m also going to pick up some jacks. I loved playing jacks when I was a kid. I was probably about 8 or 9. Something about the rhythm and the satisfaction of scooping those jacks up before the ball bounced again.

I also recently resumed doing jigsaw puzzles. My mom and I would do a Christmas jigsaw puzzle every year when I was a kid and I’ve discovered that I still love it. I find puzzles almost meditative and I love the challenge and satisfaction of finding and adding one more piece to the puzzle.

Like great comfort foods from childhood, there’s something comforting and reassuring and familiar about allowing yourself to enjoy favorite pastimes from your childhood.

You’ll reawaken and reacquaint yourself with parts of yourself that have been asleep. It’ll reinvigorate your spirit, enhance your relationships, your creativity, your productivity, and your intuition. It will carry over into everything from your business life to your sex life.

So what were your favorite ways to play as a child? When you think back to your childhood which are the fondest memories? What were you doing?

Maybe it was finger-painting or play-doh, jumping rope, or playing foursquare.

Maybe it was nerf gun wars, or hide and seek, or tag, or kick the can.

Maybe it was swinging on the playground swing or sliding down the slide, or riding the merry-go-round until you were too dizzy to stand.

Maybe it was lying in the grass, staring up at the clouds to see what shapes you could find, or picking dandelions and making a wish as you blew the strands into the breeze and watched them drift away.

Maybe it was marbles, or trading or organizing baseball cards, or playing with matchbox cars or your favorite action figures.

Maybe it was playing dress up or house or playing with your dolls. Maybe it was Legos, or Lincoln logs.

Or maybe you have fond of memories of your favorite Disney movie, or Winnie the Pooh, or Looney Tunes cartoons.

Whatever it was, whatever you choose…give yourself permission to really let loose and enjoy playing as you did as child. I’d love to hear what some of your favorites were and if you’ve already made it a habit to take time out for play…I’d love to hear how it’s benefited and impacted your life.

So…I’ll leave you with the question I used to ask my friends…can you come out to play? ; ) Come play with me in the comments!

I’m sitting in front of a warm fire today, as the snow falls outside and the wind howls through the trees. There’s nothing quite like a cold, snowy day to make you really appreciate being snuggled inside in front of fire.

Contrast has a funny way of doing that. And really…what would life be without contrast? Contrast is what makes life so interesting and diverse.

The one constant in life is change. And what is change, but an exercise in contrast? Our lives, and the natural world, are full of contrast. Night turns to day, winter to spring. We have sleep and wake cycles and we cycle through periods of high passion, creativity, and productivity, and periods of rest and rejuvenation. We cycle through hardship and ease, sadness and joy, abundance and lack, and the list could quite literally go on and on.

The generic definition of contrast is “to compare in order to show unlikeness or differences; note the opposite natures, purposes, etc.” and while that’s an accurate definition, in this instance, I think the definition as relates to linguistics is more relevant: to differ in a way that can serve to distinguish meanings.

The gift of contrast is that it does just that…it allows us to distinguish meaning, and it resets our gratitude meter. It reminds us of all that we have to be grateful for, even in the midst of challenges.

If you’d never experienced being cold, warmth would have little meaning. If you’d never experienced  hardship, you’d take ease for granted. It’s having experienced the contrast between the two that gives it meaning and allows you to more fully enjoy and deeply appreciate each.

So if you’ve been facing some challenge or hardship lately and you’re feeling as though it’ll never end…remember, it will shift. Your life is constantly evolving. The world around you is forever in flux.

And ask yourself, “What if… the hardship or challenges you’re facing now are simply preparing you to experience and more fully appreciate the great joy and ease that are coming?

If you have an example of how experiencing contrast has made something more meaningful for you, or has deepened your sense of appreciation…please share. I’d love to hear the story and it’s always the real-life experiences that pack a punch. You just never know who might be impacted by what you have to share.

If I Had My Life to Live Over…

I’d like to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax.
I would be sillier than I’ve been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I’m one of those people who lives sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day.
Oh, I’ve had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I’d have more of them.
In fact, I’d have nothing else,
Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I had it to do over again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over…

I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies…

~ Nadine Stair
85 yrs. old
Louisville, Kentucky

Imagine, for a moment, that you live out the rest of your days much as you’re doing now…you’re 85+ and contemplating your own life. If you had your life to live over what would you do differently? What would you want more of? Less of?

If you’re reading this, you do have your life to live over. For as long as we have breath left we have the opportunity to start anew.

Begin, today, this moment, to eliminate the things you want less of in life to make room for those things you want more of. Don’t wait until you’re counting your last days to go after the life you really want and the things that hold deep meaning for you.

What do you know you need to let go of? What do you know you need to move toward?

What makes you happy?

If, when you read that question, your mind draws a complete blank…it’s high time you WOKE UP.

Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he lives so as to make happiness impossible.  ~ St. Augustine

We live in a society of perpetual happiness seekers. As if happiness were hiding under a rock somewhere, if only we could “find” it. As if happiness was some tangible thing outside ourselves. As if happiness had absolutely nothing to do with how we’re living our lives.

If you’ve been waiting for happiness to knock you off your feet, or to strike like lightening out of a clear blue sky…or if you’re expecting someone, anyone, in your life to “make” you happy…I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you’re going to experience far more disappointment than happiness.

Happiness isn’t something that happens to you, outside of you,  it’s something you create within.

A happy life isn’t something you’ll find some long-distant day in the future. A happy life is something you create day-by-day, moment-by-moment.

I want to know what makes you happy in the moment. Not what you think will make you happy someday.

What are the little things that light you up? Or put a smile on your face? What warms your heart? What fills you with peace, contentment, or the feeling that all is right with your world?

Whatever those things are…fill your days with them. Immerse yourself in those things and activities. Make time for what matters, for what makes you happy. Weave them into your days.

Some of the things that just make me happy, that fill me with contentment and put a smile on my face:

Working outside on my back deck on a sunny afternoon.

Reading a great book.

Watching the wildlife critters running around my backyard.

The amazing aroma of a fresh rose.

The sight of my neatly made bed.

Music. Singing. Laughter.

Knocking off work early on a Friday to snuggle in with a delicious cappuccino and the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

Ten minutes of snuggle time with my honey in the wee hours of the morning before I start my day.

The smell of fresh, clean sheets.

Peanut butter. Bacon. Chocolate.

A really great cup of coffee or glass of wine.

The stillness of the early morning before everyone else is awake.

Watching the sun come up over and through the pine trees.

Watching my beautiful Golden Retriever, Maggie, run full-out for all she’s worth across the lush green grass of the park.

A nice fire or bowl of homemade soup on a cold, snowy day.

The sound of rain falling and the wind whispering through the trees.

Rainbows. Butterflies. Sunflowers.

These are a few of my favorite things….what are yours?

Practice becoming more aware of the little things that make you happy. Take the time to make note of them and actively incorporate as many of them into your days as you possibly can.

Today…and EVERY day.