I Think, Therefore I blog

Presidential immunity

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:57:00 +0000

Presidential immunity

Monday, November 09, 2009

According to a news item, Aitzaz Ahsan has said that the president will have protection under the “principle of sovereign immunity” and that no court can summon him. This is truly amazing. I always thought all laws in the Islamic Republic were supposed to be in conformity with Islam, according to which, all citizens of the state are equal. Why does the office of president enjoy immunity?

The second caliph of Islam, Hazrat Omar (RA), was publicly questioned in the mosque by a commoner to explain why he was wearing a robe made of a bigger piece of cloth than was allotted to him. If an ordinary man could confront the ruler of the first Muslim state then why can our president not be summoned by the court?

Shakir Lakhani

Karachi
The News, November 09, 2009

In the national bathroom

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 13:06:00 +0000

Old Moosa Bhai had been worried lately. His income tax case had been pending before the lady I.T.O. and he needed it to be decided in his favor since the next date of filing returns was only a couple of weeks away. He had paid money under the table to everyone in her department, yet his case was still undecided. “You’ll have to speak to madam yourself,” said the lady officer’s assistant. Moosa Bhai knew what this meant. “Why don’t you take the bribe money from me and give it to her?” he asked the assistant. “No way,” was the reply. “She’s the niece of a VVIP, and if she’s offended, she’ll have me transferred to a place like Chichawatni where there’d be no chance of earning more than my measly salary, which isn’t enough to buy petrol for my car,” said the assistant.

The old man wished there was some other way to persuade the powerful lady, but when he saw there was no other alternative, he sent in his card and was invited into her office. He said, “My file’s been lying on your table for two months now, yet my case hasn’t been decided.” She opened the file, looked inside and said, “This will take some more time.” Old Moosa Bhai cleared his throat, ran his fingers through his luxuriant white beard and said, “I understand. So I’ll pay you what I gave the officer who was in your seat last year”. She pretended to be shocked. “You think I want a bribe from you?” she yelled. “Here, I’m deciding your case right now in your favor. And don’t ever offer me money to do something for which I’m paid by the government.” The old man knew it couldn’t be that easy. “When will I get the signed order?” he asked. “You’ll get it in a couple of days,” she said.

Three days later a man arrived with the signed order. “How much?” asked the old man. “Five thousand for me, fifty thousand for her,” he said. “That’s too much!” exclaimed Moosa Bhai. “In the national bathroom, everyone is naked,” the man said with a smile.

Winning the war against terrorists

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:36:00 +0000

Winning the war against terrorists

SHAKIR LAKHANI (KARACHI)

LETTER (October 25 2009): We cannot win the war against the terrorists unless and until each one of us, including our leaders, is willing to make personal sacrifices. I do not mean that we should offer to blow ourselves up as the militants are doing. But at least we can make a start by paying our due taxes.

How much income tax do our feudals pay every year? Are they ready to curb expenses and cut down on unnecessary foreign trips? We should be like the rich Germans who have asked their government to impose a 5% tax on their wealth. Do our feudals have this spirit? If they do, there is no need to beg the US for aid to win the war.

Copyright Business Recorder, 2009

Kissing banned by LUMS

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:04:00 +0000

Now let me be clear about this (as Obama would say): I’ve got nothing against kissing, particularly if it’s between men and women. It’s the kissing of men by men that I find offensive, even if it’s done in months other than Ramadan. But the recent publicizing of a case in which a LUMS girl playfully pecked a boy’s cheek (when she thought no one was looking) has again generated adverse publicity for the country (something it could do without). So what happened? Another student hiding somewhere photographed the scene and distributed it throughout the world, which led to LUMS permanently banning kissing of boys by girls (and vice versa).

Of course, the fact that the incident took place during the month of fasting made it worse. You can’t kiss your boyfriend (or even your husband or brother) when you’re fasting, as all of us know. But suppose the two were not fasting? As I just said, they thought they were alone and no one could see what they were doing. I agree that kissing in public cannot be tolerated by the average Pakistani, who in any case is terribly disturbed whenever he sees a woman (especially if she’s not covered by a burqa).

However, I don’t mind it when a man kisses his wife or his daughter at the airport when one of them is leaving the country. That kind of thing happens all the time (sometimes even at railway stations). But LUMS should also have banned kissing between men and men (and also between girls and girls, since I assume there are some females who would find it terribly offensive). In the meantime I’m waiting for some Saudi/Waziristan mullah to issue a fatwa banning kissing between husbands and wives even when they’re alone in their bedrooms.

Iranian cleric opposes women to be appointed governors

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:02:00 +0000

Why do mullahs hate women so much? I know many clerics who’re infuriated when they see women driving or working in offices. For some strange reason, Saudi Arabia doesn’t allow women to drive or go out of their houses without being accompanied by a close male relative (like a son or brother or husband). I can understand this kind of thinking among illiterate men who think women are agents of Satan. But this is the twenty first century and most Muslims don’t believe that allowing women any freedom poses a danger to their religion or culture.

So today I was surprised to read that an Iranian cleric (Grand Ayatollah Lotfollah Safi Golpayghani) has warned the government there not to appoint women as governors of provinces (I’d always thought Iranian mullahs were not as illiterate as their Pakistani counterparts). I’d like to mention here that Pakistan has had women governors, ambassadors and even a prime minister, although the Jamaat-e-Islami violently reacted when someone proposed that women should drive buses (even though in some areas of Karachi and Lahore more women than men are seen driving cars).

Talking about the Iranian mullah (Daily Times, 16th October 2009), he is reported to have said that “God will be furious if women become governors.” I’d like to know how he came to this conclusion. I have found nothing in the Holy Koran or the Hadith to support this view.

Mixed couple denied marriage licence in the U.S

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:59:00 +0000

It’s unbelievable that there are people in the U.S. who still think marriages between black and white people should not be allowed, but that is the belief of Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish (Louisiana, U.S.A.). The man thinks such marriages do not last long (Mr. & Mrs. Barack Hussain Obama, please note). He asks everyone who call about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he refuses to allow their marriage.

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most members of black society do not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said. Beth Humphrey (a white U.S. woman) wanted to marry Terence McKay (a black American man), but Mr. Bardwell did not agree to sign their marriage license.

The couple says they will consult the U.S Justice Department about filing a discrimination complaint.

The virgins of Paradise

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:49:00 +0000

In an interview, Syrian-born Saudi scholar Muhammad Al-Munajid described the virgins as “black-eyed….beautiful white young women, with black pupils and very white retinas, whose skin is so delicate and bright that it causes confusion….they are like hidden pearls….They have wide eyes, and they have not been touched by man or jinn. They are virgins, who yearn for their husbands. They are all the same age, morally and physically beautiful. They are like precious gems and pearls in their splendor, their clarity, their purity, and their whiteness. They are like hidden pearls – as pure as a pearl within a shell, untouched by man. Each one of them is so beautiful that you can see the bone-marrow through the delicate flesh on their legs”. You can see the interview at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrBX40TgIXg&feature=player_embedded#.
Now I can't help wondering that it's this kind of indoctrination that produces suicide bombers. Imagine the poor illiterate guy being told all this nonsense repeatedly and after a few months he can't wait to blow himself up so he can get the virgins.This is what Muslims must fight against. The battle against extremism can be won only by changing the mindsets of Muslim men and women.

Obama picks openly gay lawyer as ambassador

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:29:00 +0000

I used to respect Obama a lot, even though he turned out to be a spineless wimp when dealing with Israel. But now I think the man has lost his marbles. He has picked an openly gay lawyer (David Huebner) to be an ambassador. Now let’s get one thing clear: I know that gays can’t help being homosexuals. They’re born that way, just as a man can’t help it if he’s a Christian or a Jew or a Hindu. But while I have no reservations having lunch or dinner with non-Muslims, I do have this strange feeling about homos. I mean, as long as I don’t know whether he’s gay or not, it doesn’t matter (by the way, I’ve never come across an openly gay person in my life), but with someone who openly admits to having sex with members of his own gender, I feel queasy.

How does one shake hands with such a man? I only hope this guy Huebner (he seems to be Jewish) is not appointed ambassador to Pakistan or any Muslim country. Of course, the question of him being appointed ambassador to Saudi Arabia or Yemen doesn’t arise (in those places, they take homosexuals to the roof of the tallest building in town and throw them down). But I do think it’d be nice if he’s made ambassador to India (I think they need such people there, they must be bored with so much female nudity around).

Honor killings among Hindus in India

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:25:00 +0000

It seems that Muslims are not the only ones who kill to save the honor of their families. In Pakistan’s rural areas, one hears daily about boys and girls falling in love and fleeing their home towns after marrying in court to escape being killed. But invariably they are traced by their relatives and shot dead. But in India (”shining” India, remember?), the situation is the same.

According to the Los Angeles Times, a man was killed after he married the girl of his choice. It appears that their customs don’t allow marriages between members of the same caste (surprisingly, since in Pakistan, such couples are killed if they don’t belong to the same caste or “biradari”).

One wonders why this kind of thing is happening in the twenty-first century, and how long it will take India to join the group of civilized nations. But I suppose the Indian elite is too preoccupied with getting super-power status rather than attending to problems like illiteracy and poverty.

Kerry-Lugar debate

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:03:00 +0000

Kerry-Lugar debate

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Accepting the Kerry-Lugar bill will mean that every Pakistani gets eight dollars every year for the next five years. Compare this with the two thousand dollars given unconditionally to each Israeli over the past twelve years. Why doesn't the bill require the Pakistan government to arrange repatriation of the hundred billion dollars illegally transferred abroad from the country and kept in secret bank accounts or invested in property? Is it because they know that their puppets here will be adversely affected?

Shakir Lakhani
Karachi
The News, October 11, 2009

Humiliation in South Africa

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 07:05:00 +0000

Defeat in South Africa

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

I've noticed that whenever the Pakistan cricket team wins a match, they fall to the ground prostrating themselves, as if they've just discovered Islam, but when they lose, they blame the umpires or give some excuse for losing. Why don't they prostrate after losing and thank Allah that they were able to reach the semi-final and were not disqualified in the early stages of the tournament?

Shakir Lakhani
Karachi
The News, October 06, 2009

Why did India go nuclear?

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 07:35:00 +0000

Nuclear India
5 October 2009

This is with reference to the letter ‘Why Nuclear Weapons?’ (Letters to the Editor, KT, October 2). Pakistan, of course, went nuclear because of India’s 1998 explosions. But why did India go nuclear?

Shakir Lakhani
Khaleej Times, 5th October 2009

Zardari's expensive cars

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:45:00 +0000

Expensive vehicles

Monday, September 28, 2009

According to a news item, President Zardari bought expensive vehicles donated by Libya for 15 per cent of their value. Although the president did not break any rules in buying the expensive vehicles for only Rs9.1million, I can’t help thinking that it would have been much better if the vehicles had been donated to the state to be sold by public auction.

The money thus obtained (Rs50 million at least) could have been given to the poor for buying flour. How long will we have to wait before we get leaders who want to help the poor instead of enriching themselves?

Shakir Lakhani
Karachi
The News, September 28, 2009

Moon madness

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:30:00 +0000

Moon-sighting controversy

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Immediately after iftar, many witnesses in NWFP came forward to say they had sighted the moon. Since only two witnesses are required, why did the NWFP mullahs and government delay the announcement of Eid until 11 pm, and only after Saudi Arabia announced that the Shawal moon had been sighted there? Was it because the mullahs were scared that if the moon was not sighted in Saudi Arabia, their credibility would be reduced to zero?

Shakir Lakhani
Karachi
The News, September 26, 2009

Moon controversy

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 04:50:00 +0000

Friday, September 25, 2009

I have a simple suggestion to permanently end the annual moon-sighting controversy: a compulsory course in astronomy for all members of the Ruet-e-Hilal Committee as well as those clerics who think that the moon should appear in Pakistan on the same day as in Saudi Arabia. They will then know that it is possible to predict accurately the date and time of appearance of the new moon anywhere in the world. They will also learn that with the help of astronomy, solar and lunar eclipses can be predicted years before they occur.

Shakir Lakhani
Karachi
The News, September 25, 2009

Functioning government?

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 04:07:00 +0000

Functioning Government?
22 September 2009

This is with reference to the Opinion article, ‘Democracy at Gunpoint’(KT, September 17). While the US led invasion of Iraq was immoral and unjustified, the war on Afghanistan was sanctioned by the UN, because the Taleban government had refused to hand over the Al Qaeda leaders which it had been sheltering.

How can the writer call the Taleban government ‘an existing, functioning government’? The Taleban ruled by terrorising the population and were universally hated. Again, it is a fallacy to think that the Afghan war is not winnable.

I would like to remind the writer that the areas now comprising western and northern Pakistan were once inaccessible and equally unconquerable in the beginning, but were conquered and civilized by the British in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries.
The Western powers should make sure that these men who have made life hell for Afghans and Pakistanis are destroyed before they begin to spread out and impose their perverted ideology on other nations.

Shakir Lakhani

Khaleej Times, 22nd September 2009

Crushed by poverty

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:53:00 +0000

‘Crushed by poverty’

Thursday, 17 Sep, 2009

ONE great advantage of being the prime minister of Pakistan is that you don’t have to stand in line for free wheat flour and risk your life.

Nor does it bother you that 15 poor people were killed trying to get free flour, or that a 10-year-old boy and a man were killed in a stampede to get the stuff at subsidised rates.

But you do have to make a few telephone calls to get your wife’s loan of Rs171m (plus 20 years’ interest) written off by NAB. Pakistan Zindabad.

SHAKIR LAKHANI
Karachi
DAWN, 17 Sep, 2009

A disease called "honesty"

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:06:00 +0000

A disease called 'honesty'

Friday, September 11, 2009

According to a news item, the PCB chairman does not avail most of the privileges extended to him. It seems that he is in fact spending his own money rather than asking the PCB for rent, car, domestic servants, utility bills, etc. I estimate that he's losing at least Rs250,000 every month in this manner. The question is: why is this un-Pakistani behaviour being tolerated?

If the PCB chief is really as honest as the news item suggests, there's no telling what will happen if more people are infected by this disease called 'honesty'!

Shakir Lakhani
Karachi
The News, September 11, 2009

Will this girl be allowed to live?

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 06:05:00 +0000

A 17 year old Muslim girl (Rifqa Bary) has converted to Christianity in Ohio. U.S. According to CNN (http://edition.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/09/03/muslim.convert/index.html?eref=edition), the girl (who was earlier reported missing) was found in Florida, living in the home of the Rev Blake Lorenz of the Global Revolution Church in Orlando. Rifqa Bary quoted her father as saying, "You are dead to me and I will kill you." But her father (Muhammad Bary) denied this and said that he had no problem with his daughter practicing any faith (although he would have preferred her to be a Muslim). Rifqa's attorney John Stemberger is convinced that Islamic radicals would kill her if she returned to Ohio. So will Rifqa be allowed to live? Or will she be killed by those who think that she deserves to die?

Jirga & the writ

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 03:40:00 +0000

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

According to a news item, a jirga ordered a four-year-old girl to be married. I thought these jirgas were declared illegal but apparently the government is unable to enforce its writ even in Jacobabad. However, what is really surprising is that no one in the FBR ever notices the wealth of the people involved. In this case, the jirga imposed Rs400,000 fine on Jawed Brohi (who eloped with a girl of the rival tribe). Mind you, these people never pay taxes, ostensibly on the grounds of poverty, yet they are able to pay huge amounts as fines. Shouldn't the tax mandarins visit the place and recover much-needed taxes from these people? Or will they go on punishing those stupid citizens who pay taxes honestly?

Shakir Lakhani
Karachi
The News, September 02, 2009

Sugar crisis

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 04:25:00 +0000

Sugar crisis

Tuesday, 01 Sep, 2009

APROPOS of your editorial, ‘Avoidable lapses’, I would like to know why we consume so much man-made sugar when we know that it can result in obesity, diabetes, heart disease and even cancer.

We get enough sugar from the foods we eat. If we opt not to consume man-made sugar in any form during Ramazan – such as by taking tea without sugar, or not eating foods prepared with sugar like puddings -- we can make a difference and force hoarders to release their stocks.

I stopped taking sugar with tea 10 years ago, and I rarely take ice-cream or foods containing sugar, with the result that I am not overweight and am in good health.

If well-to-do people cannot refrain from eating foods containing man-made sugar, at least the educated middle class can boycott it.

SHAKIR LAKHANI

Karachi
DAWN, 01 Sep, 2009

Jamat-e-Islami & sex education

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 08:14:00 +0000

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Grow up!

Sir: According to a news item in the Daily Times of August 28, the Jama’at-e Islami and its affiliates on Wednesday, August 27, protested against the syllabus being taught at Dawood Public School in Karachi, and demanded that the schools CEO be sacked for the inclusion of biological reproduction in the Grade 7 biology/science curriculum, which was being taught to 12-year-olds. It should be remembered that in Pakistan, most girls in the rural areas get married at puberty, and many are already mothers by the age of thirteen. Even in cities like Karachi, this happens in many localities. Moreover, with cable TV available in most homes, it is normal for children to know about these things. Then why are these clerics against sex education, which contextualises the topic in an educational environment? When will they grow up?

SHAKIR LAKHANI
Karachi
Daily Times, August 29, 2009

Why are Muslims so cruel to animals?

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 06:11:00 +0000

Why are Muslims so cruel to animals? What does a Muslim do when he sees a dog? He picks up a stone and throws it at the poor creature. I once owned a salt works in the coastal area of Karachi. There was plenty of wild life there in 1978, but a few years later, most of it had disappeared. I remember large lizards (more than three feet in length) and coloured snakes, all which had been wiped out by humans before 1991 (when I left the salt trade). One day I came across a worker trying to kill a chameleon. “Why do you want to kill it. What harm has he done to you?” I asked. “Why does he keep changing colours?” the man retorted. I managed to convince him not to kill the poor creature, but I know that the minute I left the place, he went ahead and killed it anyway. Back in 2003, when I went to live in Block 5 of Clifton, a couple of dogs in the street outside the apartment complex became very friendly with me. They would accompany us whenever I and my wife went for a walk. Maybe they thought I cared about animals because apparently I was the only one who hadn’t tried to hit them with stones. The watchmen at the gate would be appalled when they saw me petting the dogs (who, according to their primitive way of thinking, are unclean creatures). A few days later, the dogs disappeared. Someone had shot the dogs, said the guards. I am fairly certain it was one of them.

I know there is a Hadith about angels staying away from houses where dogs are kept, but no one knew this when I was growing up. We had a couple of dogs, as well as exotic birds and peacocks (which we kept in a large cage). And I knew many other families who also kept dogs as pets. I have also heard another Hadith about a prostitute going straight to heaven because she fed a hungry dog, but apparently this one is ignored by Muslims. In Saudi Arabia, the only dog I saw was one being taken for a walk by an American (in Jeddah). In practically all countries where Muslims live, no one cares for animals.

In the land of wife-beaters

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 05:28:00 +0000

The guide stops. This is the grave of the man who wouldn’t beat his wife, he says. He spent a year in one of those places near the sea, where the men are scared of their wives, and he said only barbarians beat their women. What nonsense!
You ask him if everyone in his tribe beat their wives. Of course, he exclaims. What good are women for, if you can’t beat them? It makes a man feel so good, he beams.
Then why didn’t this man do it, you ask. The guide shrugs. Perhaps the girl had cast a spell over him, or maybe he’d caught one of those dreadful diseases that are common in that city by the sea. He did tell a couple of people that a strange feeling came over him whenever he was told to beat her, although he had seen women being soundly thrashed all his life.
How did he die? Well, he says, everyone began to taunt him. Some called him his wife’s slave; others told him he wasn’t a man. Nothing seemed to move him. But he was heart-broken when his wife herself gave him a stick to beat her with. She couldn’t bear her husband being jeered at and called all those names. So he simply decided life wasn’t worth living, and he walked up to that mountain over there and jumped into the swirling river below.
And the woman? Oh, she died during childbirth a few days later, and a good thing too, says the guide, for no one would’ve married her.

Shakir Lakhani
DAWN Magazine(November 23, 1997)

More traffic police needed in DHA

noreply@blogger.com (Shakir Lakhani) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 08:41:00 +0000

In Karachi's Defence, it's a miracle that serious accidents don't take place everyday. Since there is little or no traffic police at major intersections, and since most drivers think they're above the law, they go through red lights ignoring those vehicles which have the right of way. Frequently it so happens that by the time these law-breakers pass, the signal turns red and one has to wait until the next time it turns green. This situation can be controlled only by posting more policemen at intersections and imposing heavy fines on those who do not have the patience to wait for the traffic signal to turn green.

Shakir Lakhani
Karachi
The News, August 23, 2009