Good news? I got a promotion at work. Bad news? All the added work I’ve got on my plate now is threatening to kill me.

I plan on coming back online come the new year, and will post the Whole 30 write up then (I’ve actually written most of it, but just need to brush it up a bit).

In the meantime, here are some E-cards that resonate with, or (sadly) embody me… For those of you offended by the F-word, feel free to not read:

The first rule of Sandbag Death March Club is-…What? No. No, you can talk about it all you want. That’s a stupid rule, why would we say that?… The first rule is don’t drop the sandbag.

Helms returning the sandbag to an eagerly expectant Drew

Second rule? Continue to not drop the sandbag

Drew breaking the first and second rule of Sandbag Death March Club

Third rule is… Well we haven’t made any more rules up yet, but it’s a work in progress.

I mentioned the stairs at Church Hill here in Richmond, VA (RVA, hollaaaa) a few weeks back when my buddy Drew and I did the stairs a couple times with a Sandbag climb to top it off… I’d liken that to the fight Ed Norton and Brad Pitt had in the parking lot when Brad said, “just hit me… Surprise me” (Sorry for all the Fight Club references, but I was Tyler Durden for Halloween and I’m still feeling it evidently)… It was a dry run.

Last week though, we put some parameters around it. So here’s what the deal was…

Each person does:
3 stair sprints
1 double stair sandbag climb
1 single stair sandbag climb

We do the above until we’ve all finished, or until someone pukes… See, there you go: third rule.

Drew puked. Three times in fact. Right after the double stair climb, he lost his breakfast… So luckily for all of us, we didn’t have to do the last single stair climb. Gotta’ give the man respect though, he pushed through the rest of the workout regardless of his moment of weakness.

After that, we worked in some heavy core:
sandbag get-ups
sandbag oblique raises

Drew taking it like a man. Despite puke, he pushed through and finished it off in style.... sorta.

So there you have the initial agenda of the Sandbag Death March Club. It may not look like much, but I can assure you it was grueling at times. I look forward to doing it again in a couple weeks! Hopefully as we get more badass, we can make the workouts more badass.

As always, I’ll keep you posted!

Sarah – 155lbs @ 21.4% body fat
Luke – 175.5lbs @ 6.9% body fat

How have we been feeling? Not too bad. Some mood issues on both sides I’d say, but all in all good.

However, considering how fast I’ve been losing weight, I’ve put the possibility on the table of me not completing the rest of this Whole 30 with complete rigidity. Why? Because I don’t want to look like a pre-pubescent girl, that’s why! I feel that is my right.

I’m going to weigh in again this coming Monday before making the final decision on that. Even if I decide not to stick to the guidelines, I’m still going to be eating all my Whole 30 approved meals, but I’ll just add in other, more calorie dense, non-Paleo foods to bump up my total calorie intake. I’m all about being a lean machine, but I don’t like the idea of losing muscle. I worked too hard for it over the past 10-12 months to waste it all.

But don’t worry… Even if I don’t completely stick with the program, Sarah has assured me that as long as I still cook and eat what she’s eating, she’ll stick to it like a champ… The other law she set down was that I couldn’t talk to her about what it was that I was eating.

I can see this going something a little like this…

I let Sarah in the front door. She walks in with a smile, and a bag full of veggies for what we’re about to cook…

Cue tears and yelling…

But we’ll see. I don’t want to cut back on the lifting or cardio, because that kind of defeats the purpose I think. I’ll update you on that here shortly.

But in closing, how about some food porn from the previous couple weeks (with links to recipes where applicable. Just click the picture)…

But first a little bio…

Sarah is a 24-yr. old student working on receiving her doctorate at MCV… and she is a recovering P90x-aholic.

Or was.

I say was because, just as she was beginning to stop using some of the stupid, yet mildly entertaining, catch phrases of the cult leader Tony Horton, and speak and act like a normal human being… she relapsed. The sad truth of it is, not only did she relapse, but she fell into an even worse drug: the cardio-intensive spin-off from P90x known as “Insanity”.

All jokes aside, having seen some of the Insanity series, it looks 100% legit as a vehicle to making you a cardio-machine, and Sarah is currently a little over halfway through the 60-day program.

Previous to the Whole 30, Sarah has been eating relatively “healthy” by most standards. While she will sometimes eat Paleo-compliant meals, sugar, grain, and dairy have all been a large part of her diet up until this point.

Enter pure Paleo goodness from October 31st until Thanksgiving to rock her world. As I stated above, she was kind enough to agree to share her stats to let you know how the Paleo-ness affects a physically active female. So here you go:

At the beginning of the Whole 30: 160lbs @ 21.8% body fat (very healthy levels for a female)

I’m just as interested as you to see how her body reacts to the naturally low carb diet, and I know she’s super stoked. We’ll keep you posted as things progress.

1. Technically, it’s going to be a Whole 4-2+25

I feel like I’ve got to be honest here. It’s not a hard and fast “Whole 30”…. Halloween is one weekend on which I will not concede the alcohol. I’m sorry, but if I’m going to dress up like a jackass (and I will, and like it), I will be drinking accordingly.

Other than the alcohol this Halloween weekend, I will be eating (and not drinking) exactly as dictated by the Whole 30 guidelines.

2. More carbs

Last time around most days I consumed very low amounts of carbs, and while it worked well for me the first time, I’m trying to take a different approach to this whole “strict” Paleo thing. I’ve been reading a really interesting book called The Perfect Health Diet that promotes the average person eating roughly 150g (600 calories) to maintain the necessary glucose levels in your body. While I’m not done with the book yet, it’s been an awesome read, and I’m thinking come spring I may try to do a month of the Perfect Health Diet (basically Paleo with some modifications) with all the blood work like I’ve done for Paleo and GOMAD before.

As far as quick and dirty book review/recommendations go, I’d still recommend The Paleo Solution
if you’re trying to get the basics of Paleo down (and why it’s good for your body). But if you really like to dig down and know about how the things that you eat affect your body, and why you should/shouldn’t eat certain things, ratios of macronutrients, etc… I’d definitely recommend Perfect Health Diet

Anyway, I digress… More carbs = more sweet potatoes. Done.

3. More cardio

On my previous Whole 30, my basic routine was 3 days a week of lifting for strength; and that’s it… Nothing else.

This time my routine is much, much more cardio intensive (which isn’t hard since I wasnt doing any), plus I’m still lifting 2-3 days a week on top. So we’re talking 5-6 days of working out compared to 3, and many more calories being burned.

4. Less weight available for the losing

You know how I do. I like to weigh in and get some hard numbers before doing anything like this, and while I may not be going balls to the wall and getting blood work this time, I made sure to weigh myself and take body fat measurements with the fatinator-5000 so I can see some numbers to prove the results.

Weighed in at 180.2lbs, which wasn’t really a surprise: my body loves to sit at that weight like a fat kid at Cici’s. However my loosely Paleo eating habits seem to have been paying off, keeping my body fat at a very good 7.6%.

What I’m interested in seeing, is where my body fat goes this time around. Last time I started just a little below 10% and dropped down almost 2% to settle a little under 8. So if I’m starting at 8, and with the cardio, will I end up… dead? That’s not the level of cut I was envisioning.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see how my body responds this time.

5. Partner in crime

I’ve suckered somebody into doing this thing with me. Now I can share cooking duties, shopping, expand my recipe base, and just have more fun and support. She’s someone who’s just as determined as I am, and one of those “if I say I’m going to do it, then I’ll do it” people, so I’m happy to have someone with the same mindset along for the journey this time around.

So let’s do this thing!…. Again… ish.

The plan that was bouncing around in my brain was to do 3-4 miles of steady state running at a decent pace (for me), but my so called friend wanted to join in on the fun and add a little bit of excitement to it: stair runs.

So we settled on a compromise, and after doing a couple miles on the treadmill, we headed over to the beautifully ghetto/majestic (depends on what block you’re on) Church Hill. There, I was greeted by a great view of the city….

Which was quickly followed by a terrible view:

We did a couple rounds up the stairs, which sufficiently winded me, after which I told my buddy I’d see his stair runs and raise him an 80lb sandbag carry…. He was not happy. I’m pleased to report, we both manned up, and made the trek up the stairs with the sandbag across the shoulders. There was absolutely zero running involved. I’m fairly certain if I tried to run up stairs with a sandbag on my back I’d end up with a fraction of the teeth that I currently possess.

Anyway, great workout, and one that I think I’ll bring out of the arsenal more often. On top of the cycling and normal lower body lifting days that I’m now working with, adding this in should kick my quad strength up a few notches… At least that’s the idea.

Last week I really kicked it in, and I notice the energy, motivation, and mood all improve the more cardio and lifting that I do. The biggest thing I like about endorphins is that unlike other drugs (which i wouldn’t know anything about) it’s on the layaway system… you know, like at K-mart back in the day: You pay for it up front, and only after you’ve paid dearly, do you get your prize.

Other drugs are like credit cards… It’s all, “Yeeeaa, party now!!” and then next thing you know they’re repo’ing all your magic the gathering cards and adopted children that were cool back when you did it because Madonna and Brangie did.

But seriously, think about a night of drinking. You drink, feel great, lose your debit card, vomit, pass out on somebody’s couch, and then all the next day you’re completely worthless and swear you’ll never do that again (at least that’s been my experience… back in college. Not now).

Not so with endorphins. You put in the pain, suffering, and discomfort before you get the pay out… Plus, the best part of it is, it’s actually good for you. Unlike the alcohol that you pour down your gullet, which has no real value… other than it enables you to numb your insecurities/shame/logical thinking abilities if the situation calls for it.

My only complaint with all this is… It’s taking a lot of time. For months I was on a 3-4 days a week workout schedule. Now we’re looking at 5-6, and while it certainly feels good and I’m sure will pay off long term, it’s not giving me a whole lot of time for blogging or working on other things. I’ve also been doing a good job of cooking Paleo food, so as anybody who puts in the effort to eat Paleo knows, all that shopping and time in the kitchen eats up on your precious “after work” time. So now that the workout schedule is starting to solidify, I need to figure out how to lock in the rest of my life.

….If you’ve got any pointers on that, please feel free to lay them on me.

Oh hey... There you are. Let's do this thing.

Which, by the way, is starting to suck pretty hard. I’ve actually been a big fan of Gold’s Gym over the past 4 years or so, but in the past several months I feel like our local franchise isn’t taking care of business like they used to: case in point, it took me 3 tries to finally find a decent treadmill to use the other night. First one had some weird timing issue with the belt; the second one rocked back and forth viciously when I actually tried to run; and the third one was just right… I’m just trying to workout here, not botch a bastardized version of Goldilocks and the 3 bears, so I was less than excited by it.

Anyway, the workouts have been going off without a hitch, I’m making progress with my running, and feeling good about my lifting. And when things are going well in the gym, that means things go well on the blog. So expect some content to start flowing, because endorphins make me want to do awesome things.

I think it’s time that I confess that I’m having a little bit of a hard time getting back into high gear. It’s not a matter of not wanting to, but trying to figure out the right routine and schedule. November of last year through August of this year, I’d been working out with a coach for all my workouts. This made my job the following:

1. Pay the man
2. Do what I was told

That’s it.

The man’s full time job is training athletes (with a few slouches like myself on the side), so I let him worry about what he was good at (achieving my fitness goals) and all I had to worry about was showing up.

Man was I spoiled.

So now that I’ve been released back into the wild, I’ll admit that settling upon that oddly comfortable grind or routine has been a challenge. I’m used to going straight from the office to the gym, and getting after it: never waiting for a rack, or equipment.

Now I’m back to the Gold’s Gym thing, and going to that place anytime during the week between 4 and 9pm is an exercise…. in futility (I feel like I could’ve done more with that).

Anyway, so I’ve been doing my running outside to build up the cardio slowly, and then lifting at Gold’s at night time, usually around 9pm. However, my body doesn’t seem real stoked about that schedule, and often times I find myself dragging my ass to Gold’s and not having nearly the workout that I’d had pictured in my head.

So today I joined my alma mater’s gym (nice and cheap) with the hopes of going there for all my triathlon and lifting needs, and am going to give the lunch time lifting thing a try. It’s literally only a mile from my office, so one would think I could pull it off if I dust off my old cutthroat parallel parking skills.

I hope this works out, because the Gold’s Gym thing at 9pm or later is really not working out. I’d like to be in bed about the same time I’m hitting my target heart rate. Not the ideal situation, and I need to find that groove again, to the point where I find myself at the gym at a particular time without even thinking about it.

Let’s make that happen VCU gym. Let’s make. it. happen.

But let me explain…

I recently attempted to login to my blog so I could write something wonderfully insightful and profound for the world to feast upon (as I’ve been known to do), only to be greeted by this:

I like how these assclowns have a copyright for their impressively creative group name: "underground hackers"!?.. At least throw a z on it like any legitimate group of 30 year old mamas boys would: "hackerzzz".. Now that demands respect

Awesome…. Turns out my whole ISP got hacked, so at least I wasn’t alone in my victimhood. We all got PWNED by what I’m sure was some 32 year-old Bangladouche living out of his grandmothers basement, pissed as hell that he recently got fired from his job at a Dell call center for playing World of Warcraft on the clock.

Good news is, I’m back online. Unhacked, and ready to rock and roll.