Men: By Ignoring This, You’re Inviting Stress & Failure

Whether you know it or not, you have all you need within yourself to succeed at the level you desire. It’s time to be aware of and face an important fact: You are our own worst enemy when it comes to not getting what you want in your life.

You may not like that statement. You may not believe that statement, but it’s true. Here’s why that is and what you can do about it.

You Are Your Own Worst Enemy

Ask yourself where you’d rank on a 10-point scale of having the career, income, relationships, fun and happiness you desire. Whatever ranking you choose, most men are always looking forward and striving to improve – that’s human nature. So why do we struggle so much at various times in our lives?

Here’s the thing – you are not meant to float around, year in and year out, hoping for the life you want to fall into your lap. You were created exactly as you’re supposed to be, you have what you need to reach your potential.

You, as the man you are, were created to act. You are a man who is different than every other man out there. No other man has your particular combination of strengths, skills, preferences and experiences. No other man has your mind or your personality.

So, whether you always believe it or not, you’re a pretty amazing individual who can make great things happen. The million-dollar question then is:

Why can getting what you want in life often seem like one big battle?

The answer? You’ve been systematically taught to ignore your Man-Wits.

What Are Man-Wits?

Man-Wits is the descriptive name for your instincts, your gut reaction, your true feeling on a certain issue or experience. Your man-wits are inextricably tied to living the life you want because the secret to getting what you want has two parts to it:

1) Knowing what you want

2) Moving in that direction

Your man-wits will be your guide to both if you let them.

Here’s a simple example: you have a new career opportunity or business idea that excites you and a close friend insists you’d be crazy to make a change that big in your life with all of your commitments, the economy, etc, etc. Let’s say that because you’re you, and no doubt have differing experiences, his urgings don’t sit well with you. Your man-wits pop up and tell you to do it a different way, but you push them down, don’t say what you’re feeling and go along with it like you have no voice or ideas.

You ignore your man-wits – essentially go against yourself – let yourself be talked out of it and you immediately start feeling stress and regret. Sometimes that stress is small, sometimes it’s huge, but it is always very real. Some men feel it in their legs while others feel it in their gut or as a tightening of the chest and solar plexus.

So why do we do this to ourselves?

Why Do We Ignore Our Man-Wits?

Since you first played with building blocks and GI Joe, you were taught that being nice, sharing and getting along with others was important, and it is – no argument there. The problem is that the societal training we’ve all endured also carries with it the underlying message that being nice and getting along means not rocking the boat (see “corporate advancement”), curbing contrary feelings to keep the peace (see “marriage”), and not saying what you really want because you’ll look selfish, greedy and come off as being a asshole.

So you may have learned to squelch your instincts, your voice, your own needs in favor of playing nice and being politically correct. And while that makes for polite conversations and less confrontation (on the surface), it dooms you to stress and failure because rarely do you get the life you want by not asking for it, not working hard for it and/or letting others’ expectations interfere with your goals. (Of course I’m not talking about mercilessly stepping on people to get where you’re going, but you knew that.)

Beware the Crazy Paradox

There is a crazy paradox here that you have to beware of and it goes like this: society praises the image of the Clint Eastwood-type characters and maverick businessmen like Richard Branson who say and do what they want, forge their own paths and are hugely successful. MSNBC and Forbes run features on their companies and products, their cars, homes and expensive hobbies and tell the tales of their incredible rise to success.

However, our same society has become so politically correct and ‘nice’ that we tend to look down on or call the man crazy in our own circle that rocks the boat by saying what he thinks and doing unconventional, unpopular things. This is that same maverick in the making as described above, but we don’t ‘like’ him because he’s making waves or making us feel uncomfortable. Meanwhile, a few years down the road he will be praised for following his gut and doing his own thing – as he well should.

No doubt we live in a two-faced society. If you think about it, even the word maverick contains a concurrent positive and a negative connotation. It’s time to ask yourself what is most important to you: being ‘nice’, meaning not making waves in life, or being the most you can be and becoming a happier, more content man?

Stop Ignoring Your Man-Wits

You have your man-wits for a reason – to lead you where you want to go, to tell you what is right for you.

Trust them – although you’ve been taught to believe they’re to be ignored, are simple a trick of the mind, or a negative personality trait, they’re not.

Very simply, to build the life you want, to have the career or business you desire, the family relationships you wish for, the income, the personal health you want – you have to take responsibility for making those things happen. Taking responsibility for them means doing what’s right for you – this doesn’t always mesh with not rocking the boat or saying the ‘nice’ thing, so again, you have to choose what you want.

Taking responsibility means retraining yourself to use your man-wits:

1)   Recognize your gut feelings, your real reactions to any situation instead of immediately stuffing them down, and then,

2)   Follow through with that gut reaction by speaking or doing what is real for you at that time.

Don’t confuse this with intentionally being an asshole.

Sometimes, when you’re out of practice in speaking your mind, offering a contrary opinion, being impeccable with your word and saying “No”, there may be tendency to go overboard with your reaction.  This is simply a self-defensive reaction to the fear of possible conflict.

You may, unconsciously, want to hammer home your point as powerfully as possible so that no ones comes back at you, thereby letting you off the hook for being difficult. Again, all the years of society’s training you’ve been through are still playing on your mind. But don’t worry, the more you practice speaking your true piece in a calm, thoughtful manner, the easier it gets.

And the more you do it, the more confidence you’ll have and the more you’ll do it again. If someone takes offense to what you say or do, that’s their issue based on their own frame of reference and personal fears – so let them have it. You are not your fellow man’s babysitter. And even if you wanted to be, it would be impossible…so let that go.

Free yourself from the false notion of self-importance – the world is not focused around you – and you’ll see your confidence and energy rise dramatically.

The Other Hidden Benefit

Relearning to follow your man-wits also has a huge hidden benefit that no one tells you about. By using your man-wits, saying and doing what is right for you, you are actually helping and being the most loving you can to others because you’re telling them your truth. And telling your truth is akin to giving them the best you have to offer. Don’t you think your family, friends and colleagues deserve your best?

By relearning to use your man-wits, you give others the gift of knowing exactly where you stand; it saves time, cuts out second-guessing and helps everyone avoid making all kinds of ridiculous assumptions that lead to more stress.

The Real Goal

Since you’ve been taught to “play nice” your entire life, it is logical to believe that the goal (and the result of playing nice) is to be liked by others.  And by believing this, you will certainly have less external conflict in your daily life – but the price you pay is that it’s the surefire route to failing to live the life you want.

It’s also worth noting that striving for less external conflict by pushing down your man-wits will always lead to more internal conflict and personal stress.

Heart attack anyone?

The real goal, if you’re serious about living your own life, is not to be liked, but to be respected. It’s only through respect that others can truly like (or love) you anyway. A man, who knows what he wants, is unafraid to speak his truth and do what he must, a man who doesn’t ignore his man-wits…that is a man who is respected. And only the men who respect themselves enough to honor their man-wits will earn the respect of others.

Consequently, only men that have the respect of others can be true leaders, both at home and in the work world.

You can test this in your own life by thinking of men you deeply respect – I’ll bet the farm they don’t ignore their man-wits. And now, with this new knowledge and some concerted daily practice, you’ll be able to add yourself to that important list.

Worry less about what others think and whether or not they “like” you. If you have being liked as your goal, you’ll always be subject to the whims of others and will never live the life you want. In reality, they’re not thinking about you anyway.

There is no longer any reason to be your own worst enemy when it comes to the living the life you want. Stop ignoring your man-wits; they’ve been given to you for a reason. They are your internal compass – a gift to embrace with open arms and use everyday.

By not using your man-wits you are very simply inviting frustration, stress and failure. And that, my friend, is no way to live your life. Cheers.

Let me know your thoughts on this topic or share examples of your experience of this in the comments section below.     (Above image by Gary Mcinnes)

Related posts:

1. Bring On The Failure!

What is the definition of hell? Working with your spouse when it’s not working.

Tom came to me many years ago, stressed out, burned out, and thrown out. After what had seemed to be a great marriage and a growing business, Tom was looking at divorce and dissolving their business. His wife Ann had more or less thrown Tom out of the house, because according to her, he was a huge pain in the ass.

Tom admitted he did get stressed out and overly insistent about how the business should be run. As Tom declared, “I’m a detail man and the details weren’t looking good.”

I started asking Tom questions about what exactly had happened and about the structure of the business. It became clear that their hobby of making dog toys and paraphernalia gradually evolved into a business without any planning; or rather, their relationship evolved into a business.

After allowing Tom to rant, then grieve, I explained that the problem was a critical mistake they made that many people make. It wasn’t that they didn’t have a business plan; the problem was they didn’t have a relationship plan. No one teaches us how to have a successful relationship. We learn on the job. No one teaches us how to take a relationship and have it thrive as a business.

As I laid out my model for having both a successful business and relationship, Tom began to relax. He saw that he wasn’t bad, he was ignorant because he didn’t know any better. Neither did his wife. He saw hope for reviving both his business and his relationship.

I gave him a detailed plan on what to do. I told him they could do it on their own, but since they were in trouble, I suggested that they get help. I offered myself and suggested other options.

Tom and Ann did use me. It was hard at first because they had to deal with the past feelings and mistakes. As they began to communicate, they relaxed. As they relaxed the joy and love they once had showed up again. In getting honest about what they didn’t like about work, they saw that a lot of their anger projected on the other was from doing what they didn’t want to do, and not feeling appreciated.

It is amazing what a simple plan and communication can do. After six months, Tom and Ann were rocking. They were enjoying each other and their business. Their business was taking off because their joy was contagious.

A powerful model

A while ago I dated a CPA and attorney who developed a successful mediation practice. Debra told me how the worst divorces were always the ones where the couple was in business together. When it got bad, it got very bad.

Who was once a person’s partner becomes his or her saboteur. She didn’t give me details o course, but you can imagine how work evolved to be another way to get back at each other through spreading hurtful rumors, making embarrassing remarks in front of the employees, and doing anything to make the other look bad even at the risk of hurting the company.

Relationships end. Business partnerships end. Sometimes you can prevent both from occurring. If endings do occur, you can minimize the collateral damage. Any breakup is difficult, but aiming for it working out will at least lessen the pain and damage if a breakup occurs.

Additionally, taking these simple steps will take a good relationship and partnership and make it great. Following a plan that starts with getting clarity gives you ways to support each other and yourselves while reducing the stress. It will enhance your relationship and your business in ways that might be difficult to imagine now.

The reason more people don’t do this is that these concepts and methods aren’t taught. Who was taught how to have a good relationship? Who had a course in their MBA program that taught how to develop a successful partnership with your spouse? Not only can many of the problems we see couples develop be prevented, these couples can have more fun than they thought possible.

Start with a plan

Values

Your values are the foundation for everything you do. When was the last time you described them to anyone, let alone your partner? Could you, right now, succinctly describe what is important to you? What values or principles are you not willing to compromise?

Start writing. Go beyond asking yourself. Look for patterns in your life where your values showed themselves even when you weren’t aware. For example, I value telling the truth. I have a history of opening my mouth even at the cost of my future.

Ask old friends what they perceive are your values. You may be surprised to hear what others see as your operating system. If one person comes up with one outlandish value, don’t count it. But if several of your friends come up with a similar value, you need to take a hard look and consider it.

As you are doing yours, have your partner do his or hers. Once done, meet to discuss them. Where you don’t share the same value, discuss how that value is important to you or your partner, and how you could support your partner, or vice versa, in that value. Realize this whole process is meant to be an exploration and bonding and relationship deepening experience. So, take your time. Have fun doing this!

Risking

Get honest with yourselves about what the possible consequences of working together really are. What is the worst case scenario? Feel and discuss how your business and relationship could fall apart. Put it all out on the table.

Bottom line: Are you willing to put your relationship at risk or under additional stress to have a business together? For many people, the answer to that question is no. I’ve seen several relationships improve when one spouse stepped away from the business and built a separate career, independent of the business. Just be honest with each other.

Vision

From your values and what you want to go for, create a vision of what you want individually and jointly. Not just what you want for your business, but for your relationship. The business vision is the what. The relationship vision is the how.

If you need help in creating a business vision, you will have no problem finding it. Let me give you some suggestions about creating a “how vision” of your relationship.

Imagine what it would feel and look like to be having fun with your partner at work. How would the two of you be relating so both of you look forward to going to work? At this stage don’t be concerned about how you are going to create – just get clear on what you want your interactions to feel and look like.

Write it out

As you continue your discussions, start writing out individually and collectively what you want, and how you plan to create it. This is your business/relationship plan done from the perspective of your business partner as your lover.

Just as some marriages have a pre-nup, your business needs one. A buyout clause in your partnership agreement describes how you end the partnership with one person leaving and the other staying. Treat your business as a relationship and a business. Deal with the emotional aspects as well as the legal and financial aspects.

Consider, and write out, how you would dismantle the partnership under several different circumstances. Address the possibilities of the death of a partner, the dissolution of the marriage, the firing of one spouse, or when one person wants to leave.

Realize the unexpected happens. In the state of loving your partner and wanting the best for him or her, design an exit strategy that serves him or her. Trust that by treating the other with love and respect you will be best served in the long run. If you have kids, they will be best served by your having a fair and easy plan up front.

Also write out who is the boss. There might be one boss or bosses for particular functions. As part of each person’s job description, clearly state who has the final say. You can rotate who is the boss. You can have a clause where this is reviewed after a certain period of time. Go beyond gender roles and look at each person’s skills and passions. Talk about where you are threatened from an ego and gender perspective. Speaking about it brings it out in the open, thereby lessening the likelihood that it will come back and bite you in the ass. It also deepens the trust between the two of you.

Operational

Now you know what you want, start creating a plan. How will you know you are achieving these goals? How will you know if something is wrong? The goal is not only to notice problems early, it is to have a structure to deal with it. As we all know, the bigger the stress, the harder it is to stay sane and calm. If you have a plan to fall back on, it will be easier and less stressful.

The better you two work together, the better the employees will work together. Realize your employees are like your kids in that they will pick up unconsciously what you aren’t aware of. You know how kids act out their parents’ emotions? So do the employees of a couple. This works well for you when you two are doing well.

Have at least an annual meeting to discuss the meta issues. These are the issues concerning how the two of you are relating. How is the business affecting you relationship and your family. Do you need to amend your agreement? You may want to bring in outside help to facilitate this meeting even, if you are doing great.

By knowing there is a meeting on the books to discuss your business, both of you can relax. Without a plan to resolve even a little problem people will start getting crazy. If you know that you have a meeting coming up, and on the agenda are standard questions of how are we doing, what needs to be said that is not being said, and what do you need that your not getting – you have a means to an easy resolution.

I would suggest at least a monthly check-in meeting to discuss business operational concerns. During these meetings, listen. This might not be the default for many men. Breathe and listen. Don’t go to immediately solving the problem. Let the other person speak. We all need to express our thoughts, feelings and wants. Often that is all that is needed.

Expand beyond being the other’s spouse. Don’t judge your spouse just as your relationship partner. Listen as a concerned person who shares the same desire to succeed.

Create your own way to acknowledge the other in front of your employees and the public. Honor your partner. Not only will that go deep for him or her, it will send out a huge message to others. Don’t be trite. Fine something that moved you about your partner. It is much better to be a truly sincere about something small than large and superficial.

Building a successful business and relationship

Now that you have a plan and some business related actions, let’s discover what you can do to guarantee your success.

Time and energy

It all comes down to our two most precious resources. If there is an imbalance or a significant lack in one of these, you have a problem. In most cases the symptoms will not immediately point you to the cause. So, let’s do a little prevention–in fact let’s do some enhancing.

Each of you need time and space together—and apart. As part of your business planning, discuss specifically what you need to do to renew yourself. What do you need to do away from your partner to feel happy and refreshed?

Also discuss how you want to relate to each other while at work. How do you want to show affection? Be clear. One might hold back in deference to the employees while the other may feeling ignored. If it is just the two of you at work, it can be tough being together 24/7 – plan how you are going to deal with it. Know that no matter how much you love each other and how well you get along, at some point you will need time away.

As you hire more employees, it could get easier. You have more people to interact with.

Separate but equal

At work, you each need separate spaces. If not, then one of you needs to be out of the office regularly. Familiarity will breed contempt while distance breads longing. How you achieve this will vary over time, but if you are regularly discussing this you can make minor changes easily.

In the best case scenario, each of you need your own separate support. Some of it is fun stuff; other could be emotional. From teaching other men to lead men’s groups, then watching their groups succeed I have seen that something as simple as meeting with a group of committed men weekly can transform a man, his relationship and his business. Men’s and women’s groups aren’t therapy, even though they may have a therapeutic effect. They are for each person to learn what they didn’t get to learn growing up. These groups also act as a resource to solving problems and being accountable to following though.

Together

Mutual support will enhance your success. Having the regular time to discuss how you are doing will take a lot of the stress away. You avoid little situations from developing into big issues. To improve upon this I would recommend finding a coach or consultant to help you draw out what neither of you can see. A coach can be the advocate for your relationship. He or she can take what we discussed and help you implement it.

Combining individual support with joint support allows you to relax. You know, if only unconsciously, that you have a time and space to get what you need. If you don’t have those opportunities you will find indirect ways to get it from your business. If you do that, your business will suffer.

Relationship time

Nourishing yourself and your relationship will allow you to experience the benefits of your relationship. Take advantage of this by planning times together when all you do is have fun. You don’t discuss work, you play. It might be doing a sport together. It might be traveling. Whatever you do, do it weekly. Then every quarter take a trip or do something special. It could be as simple as going for a hike.

Here’s a secret. If your unconscious doesn’t have a positive ritual (say a weekly dinner date) it will focus on a negative ritual. Create a ritual by doing something pleasurable on a regular basis. Expand out to monthly, quarterly and annual activities. You want to daydream about something fun.

Create a “no-business zone” where business issues don’t intrude. Be firm about your boundaries. If you aren’t firm, work will seep into all areas of your life. Create a time span when you won’t answer the phone concerning work and a time when you won’t do work.

The more you give to your relationship, the less your relationship or you will try to get your needs met indirectly through work. If you go to work feeling loved and filled up from your relationship, then work will be easy.

Doing this upfront planning and work will be the best investment you could make for your relationship and your business. If you are already in a business with your partner, it’s not too late to use these suggestions. As you saw with Tom and Ann, using these suggestions can even revive a failing business and marriage.

I have worked with many entrepreneurs over the years who worked with their partner. When it is bad, it is very bad. When it is good, it is very good. Planning, implementing, getting support and having fun together will make the difference.

What are your experiences working together? What do you do to make it work?

Thanks for this Guest Post to Owen Marcus. Owen posts at www.owenmarcus.com on the secrets for men creating the life they want.

Related posts:

1. Balancing Work & Life, A Great Example of “How-To”
2. Work & Life Feel Out Of Balance? Take Back Your Mojo Now!
3. Work-Life Balance Advice Via Steve Jobs

The constant uphill battles and mentally throwing in the towel, were miserable. Every January I was so full of hope and energy…and then by late November it would start to sink in that my money goals, getting in shape and just plain ‘playing a bigger game’ had somehow slid away. And with it went my energy and motivation to finish the year stronger than I’d started.

I kinda felt like, “What’s the use at this point?” you know? It was just miserable and disheartening.

But you know what?

It doesn’t have to be that way.

You see, a couple of years ago at Thanksgiving, I had this weird reaction or I guess you could call it an idea, about this whole problem. I really felt railroaded by the lack of days left on the calendar to make the year a success, and so basically, I got angry and said, “Screw it! I can’t stand how this feels anymore!”

I decided that regardless of whether or not I hit all my goals, I was going to finish the year like a “Man On Fire”. I was going to “go out like a lion” and see what happened! So each weekday until the Christmas break, I started my day by focusing on one thing to do that day plus one thought or idea that was a “motivator”.

And much to my surprise…it worked!

In fact, I was so pumped and got so much done I thought it was a fluke.

But it wasn’t a fluke.  It DOES work.

Did I hit every goal? Nope, but I sure hit a lot of them and like I said, that wasn’t even the point. The point, and the payoff, was that I was taking charge of the time left and making it happen. Frankly, it felt awesome.

I wasn’t the only one that noticed either – my wife, family and colleagues did too. They couldn’t hide their respect for this new Man On Fire in their midst.

And I believe doing this can eliminate your “end of the year/time crunch/how am I going to get this done/energy zap” too.

I’ll show you exactly what I’m talking about with the “Finish 2011 Like A Man On Fire” project over at:

http://thinktankmen.com/mission-critical-for-men-now-2/

But hurry because all men must be signed up by November 27 to take part and get the daily dispatches to help you knock the rest of 2011 “out of the park”. And although it’s only fifteen bucks to get the benefits of the project, you can’t get in once it starts.

Get on it today – Do it now, join other men all over the globe and see the effects not only on the rest of this year, but also on the beginning of 2012. Start building your momentum with us now.

Cheers,
Michael

P.S. Here’s the link again – and be the leader by forwarding this post to the other men in your life too!

http://thinktankmen.com/mission-critical-for-men-now-2/

• Too much information on the internet (it’s like drinking from a fire hose), and following from that…
• Paralysis and not knowing the best thing to do next, and
• Not making any money, with their dreams of their own business slipping away

It’s definitely time to put a stop to that. You have a lot to offer and you should be making money; God knows you’re working hard enough, am I right? So today I’m tackling a topic that you can address now and giving you another way to take action on moving your business forward.

Keywords & SEO for Coaches, Consultants & Solo Entrepreneurs

There is an ocean of hype around this topic and small business owners like you are usually doing one of two things about it: a) Ignoring it completely, or b) paying hundreds or even thousands to some “SEO guru” or firm and watching their hard-earned cash go down the drain. I don’t recommend either approach. Yes, choosing correct keywords and paying some attention to SEO is important, however, it’s not the be-all and end-all to marketing your business online. The answer is to know the basics about keywords and SEO, and then move on with other marketing tactics. So let’s look at a couple of the important basics you need to know now.

Choosing Your Keywords

As a solo entrepreneur, choosing your keywords comes down to looking at two important things:

1. Knowing the terms & phrases your potential clients are using to search online to solve their problems (meaning specifically the problems you’re equipped to solve for them), and
2. Ranking in Google (i.e. getting leads) for your keywords is a matter of supply and demand

1. Knowing The Terms & Phrases…

With this, there is both a common mistake to avoid and a pretty simple way to get a handle on the terms and phrases your prospects use. First let’s look at the common mistake. Since you’re an expert in your field, whether a fitness coach, business consultant or say a wellness practitioner, you know and use technical terms and jargon all the time that are relevant to your industry. The problem is, in many instances your potential clients either don’t use that jargon or don’t know the jargon, or both. So literally, your prospects are searching for your services in a different language than you use. See the problem there?

If your site is filled with what you as the expert, feel are the right keywords, but your audience doesn’t use them, you’ll have a huge disconnect. Disconnect = no readers, no email sign-ups and no clients. But don’t worry, there is a simple fix. Ask them. Just ask your readers and prospects what they’re looking for, what challenges they are facing, and what they want to have happen. Do this face-to-face or on the phone, in surveys and by asking for comments and questions on your blog posts. When you have this information, it’s well, “Gold, Jerry, Gold!”

2. Supply & Demand

Knowing this will really set you apart from you competition. Choosing your keywords is step 1, but step 2 is testing them to make sure they will actually do some good in bringing in leads. You don’t want to be in a situation where you think you you’re making headway but in reality you’re being buried by the huge amount of competition for a keyword phrase.

Now if the word test makes your eyes start to glaze over, don’t worry, this is easy even for technical or marketing newbies. First you’re going to start with looking at Demand. That is, to find out if anyone is even searching for your keywords, thereby making them viable enough to use. Here you’re going to use the Google Adwords Keyword Tool – it’s free and provides great insights. So, simply do a search for Google AdWords Keyword Tool, pull it up and let’s look at an example.

Refer to the screenshot I’ve shown below. When the keyword tool comes up for you, you’ll see:

• “Match type” in the left hand column – leave that at “broad”
• Then go to the main center area and put your keyword phrase under the heading Find keywords – for this example I’ve entered online marketing course
• I hit the Search button below that and up come the results – it shows that 14,800 global monthly searches have been done and 5,400 local monthly searches
• For most of you with online businesses, you can take clients from anywhere geographically, so you’ll focus on the global number (notice this tool also gives you many results for similar keyword options too!)
• The result that appeared of 14,800 global searches shows you that it has a lot of potential from a demand perspective. What you’re looking for is at least 2,500 global searches or more to make it viable, so at first blush, this would be a viable keyword phrase (if that’s your business)
• Notice also that the column just before the global monthly searches shows that competition is high for this phrase – also good to keep in mind

Now you’re going to look in more detail at the Supply, meaning the amount of competition out there for your keywords. For this, just open a new tab on your browser and do a simple Google search for your phrase, just be sure to put it in quotation marks so it tells you the competition for the exact phrase.

This next screenshot shows you the results for my example of online marketing course. As you see, the number of search results is 181,000. You can take that as a good sign – anything under 300,000 is what you’re looking for. Above that number the competition just becomes too staggering.

So you can see for this keyword phrase, online marketing course, the demand and supply fall into a pretty optimal place to consider it as a keyword if that’s what you were offering.

Remember this: Greater than 2,500 for the demand using the Google keyword tool results, and less than 300,000 on the supply from a Google search using quotes. If it’s not in that ballpark it’s best to move on and try another keyword phrase.

A bit longer than usual post today, but I really want you to be able to take some action and move forward. These were two of the basics you need to know, and can do this week, to get more prospects and clients.

If you’re interested in picking up the other 11 basics, just click here to grab the whole report. These are the Need-to-Knows for keywords and SEO so you can get it handled and move on to serving your clients and making some money. Plus the full report is dirt cheap at just $13.

Having new clients and blog readers coming to you every week does not have to be a pipe dream. You don’t have to be an SEO expert either, you just need to know these 13 Basics.

If you’re interested, click here now to go to the page where you can get it. By the way, it won’t stay on offer long.

Cheers,

Michael

P.S. If you’re a solo entrepreneur or small business, for just $13 this report can save you time, money and headaches. Pick it up here:

“The 13 Basics You Need To Know About Keywords & SEO”

Related posts:

1. How To Drive Traffic To Your Blog – pt. 1

They’re useless if all you do is read them and never apply anything. Without action your business is just rusting away. In fact, I advise you to stop reading about any marketing coaching at all, this blog included. You might as well go golfing or to the beach instead of wasting your time if you do nothing with the information.

Coaches, consultants and solo entrepreneurs, you’ve really got to ask yourself, “Am I in the information collection business, or am I building my own company?” I spoke to a great group of entrepreneurs last night in Atlanta and this was one of my main points – you must take action.

Online Marketing Courses

Online marketing courses can either be a waste of money or absolutely critical to putting your coaching or consulting business on the map. Yes, there is a bunch of crap out there, but there’s also a lot of very good stuff. However, the good stuff becomes crap too, if you don’t use it.

You’re great at what you do, I know that, but you must also become at least ‘very good’, if not great, as a marketer. Without repeatable, step-by-step marketing you have no business, and that’s the cold, hard truth. Unless you have a deep marketing background, it’s time to admit that your marketing is most likely the reason that your business is struggling.

Marketing Coaching

Marketing coaching is for those who really want to fast track their businesses. Even as a coach, I still use a coach and it’s the best monthly investment I make. What amazes me are the clients who pay for coaching and do nothing with it. It doesn’t hurt the coach, it just hurts that client. If you don’t want to build your business badly enough to work on it daily, then really question why you’re doing it. There is no shame is getting out if it’s not for you. Especially knowing that pundits are saying we may hit a depression in 2012. I prefer to see economic downturns as prime opportunities as many of my competitors throw in the towel! How about you?

Commit To Yourself

In all frankness, no one outside of your family cares too much whether you build a great small company or not. But I believe you started down this path for a reason – to be successful while providing value to others. I also believe you can do this… and five years from now you’ll be very, very proud of your actions.

So today, commit to yourself to get in the game and off the sidelines. Stop merely collecting marketing information, pick a couple of tactics and implement them, now. Claim your place. Use that marketing tip, enroll and master that online marketing course, or get a marketing coach (either me or someone else), and start putting your business on the map today.

Here’s to getting in the game!

Cheers.

Related posts:

1. What Is The Best Small Business To Start? (Part I)
2. Marketing Tips From The Vikings
3. What Is The Best Small Business To Start? (Part II)

Related posts:

1. What Is The Best Small Business To Start? (Part I)
2. What Is The Best Small Business To Start? (Part II)
3. What is the Best Small Business to Start? – Important Update

So you create great content like workshops, dvd home study courses and the like, promote the hell out of them by yourself and with affiliates..and you may still get a terrible return on investment if you forget this critical piece.

To solve your prospects problems, you must be speaking their language
so they know it.

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

Of course, I don’t mean literally speaking English to English-speaking people, German to Germans, etc., but, now that I say that, it’s a very good way to prove this point. If you didn’t speak English and yet I kept squawking at you in English, you wouldn’t understand me. Duh! We’d have a real disconnect between us and you’d probably ignore me at best, and run away screaming at worst. (Here you can translate ignoring and running away screaming into prospects not buying your stuff. )

This is how it is when marketing to your target audience as well.  You must speak their language. Yes you have to solve their problems, but you’ve got to speak their language in doing so or you won’t get their attention. If you coach financial planners but don’t know their lingo or how they view and talk about their industry, then you’ll have a major disconnect with them. If you’re a solo-practitioner in a rather technical area or one that uses out-of-the-ordinary terms, such as Reiki or homeopathy, you know all the technical speak but your prospects probably don’t. They just know their back problem has kept them from working the last four months or they desperately want relief from allergies. Are you speaking their language on your website and blog? If not, you likely have a disconnect. Disconnect = no buyers. No buyers = no money.

So How Do You Remedy This?

Well for many of you, you already have a certain degree of knowledge of your target audience, it’s one of the reasons you chose them, but listen up because this applies to everyone. You remedy this disconnect by actually researching them.

Talk to them, survey them, read about them, hang out with them, join linkedin groups and masterminds with them. Notice the phrases they use, the issues they complain about, the problems they have, the inside jokes, everything.

One of the best possible things you can do for your coaching, consulting, or solo-professional business right now is to interview, in person or on the phone, 10-20 people in your target audience. Ask open-ended questions and not multiple-choice because you don’t want to put words or ideas in their mouths. If you’re not a fast writer, record the conversation so you get the exact language they use. Ask them what their biggest challenges are at work and at home, what do they want to change about their businesses and lives, where do the want to go in the future, etc. Get their answers in their own words.

Why, You Ask?

Because this is then the exact language you’re going to use on your blog, website, presentations and one-on-ones. And when they read your stuff or listen to you, they’ll know you “know them” and “get them” because you’re speaking their language and dealing with their specific issues!

And that, my friend, makes you the perfect professional to help them – and get paid! Wins all around with you quickly becoming known as the go-to guy for your target audience. Whether you’re a new coach or consultant or have been at it a while, take advantage of this strategy as soon as you can. It’s one more way to take real responsibility for building your business. Cheers.

If you liked this post, please give it a retweet or a “like”. Thanks and let me know your comments or questions below.

Related posts:

1. What Most Businesses Are Missing

Need More Clients?

It’s funny how you can fool yourself sometimes. As a solo-professional, you put so much work into your consulting or coaching practice, you’re knee-deep in it every day, willing it forward, and yet you’re not getting the kind or the number of clients you need.

Here’s the question: Could it be that what you think you offer to the world, isn’t what the world sees when it looks your way? After all, your brain is great at seeing what it wants to see; plus you’re so very close to what you’re doing that it may be a “can’t see the forest for the trees” thing.

Well let’s begin to fix that, right here, right now, by properly defining your Unique Selling Proposition (USP). In straight up, plain English, your USP means what makes you different from your competition and is ultimately the reason people gladly give you their money.

Here’s the catch – as much as we all think we like to be different, in reality we kinda like to be the same so we don’t stick out too much – it’s the ol’ brain playing tricks again. So even though you know you’re different, (and know from a marketing perspective that you need to be different to attract clients), in most cases the coaches, consultants and solo-professionals I see tend to come across as vanilla in a vanilla world. And that my friend, is why your bank account is dwindling instead of skyrocketing. That, in straight up plain English, sucks in a big way.

Which leads to the most important part of your USP – the “U”. How are you Unique? It is ironic that this gets overlooked so much because it’s the whole purpose and value of a unique selling proposition, the unique part. If all your competitors are vanilla, “general” and trying to be everything to everybody, how are you going to attract any clients by also being vanilla? It’s the man that has the knowledge (and the balls) to stand out and be Rocky Road that will thrive and blow the doors off his income.

So let’s break this USP thing down in order to nail it so you can move forward with a potent marketing message. An USP has three moving parts to it:

1) Who you help (i.e. your specific target audience)

2) What you do to help them (i.e. your specific specialty)

3) What they’re payoff is (i.e. why they’ll choose you over a competitor)

The order of these is not life and death critical, but getting each defined properly will make sure you are differentiating yourself from your competitors.

Specifically knowing and showing how you’re different is key. But you also have to make sure that ‘how you’re different’ is something that potential clients actually want to buy. Does your “uniqueness” provide something your target craves and will give you money for?? For example, if you’re a coach that works only face to face with clients but your target audience doesn’t value that and would rather save time by using the phone, then that “uniqueness” isn’t sellable and you’re wasting your time and money.

Remember this doesn’t have to be perfect – just take a shot at writing yours now. If you already have an USP, pull it out and compare it to what you know now and refine it. Bonus Tip: the litmus test is, after hearing your USP, someone in your target audience would be inclined to ask the next logical question – “Really, how do you do that?” (And then my friend, you have an appointment!)

Look at these two very real examples. The first is terrible. The second is excellent.

1) I help businesses with productivity issues so they can thrive in the current economic conditions.

This is much too vague (vanilla) to do you any good at all. What businesses? How do you help with productivity issues? What productivity issues are you referring to? And what the hell does thrive in the current economic conditions mean? That’s simply bullsh*t double-speak that makes you fade into the background with all the other broke coaches and consultants.

Here’s number 2…

2) I help fee-only financial planners find a lucrative target market so they can double their marketing efforts in half the time and blow the doors off their income.

This is very specific. We know ‘who’ (fee-only financial planners), we know ‘what’ the coach does for his clients (find a lucrative target market), and ‘why’ clients should choose this coach (by choosing a lucrative target market, their marketing is compounded and their income skyrockets).

Do your USP right now. It will take some work so don’t expect to get it in one or two passes. However, once you have it your business has a real direction and so do you.

Get this right and it brings you “real” prospects, which leads to more clients, which leads you becoming the go-to guy for your market, which leads to that amazing bank balance. (Which, by the way, helps lead you to freedom!). Good luck and leave me your questions and comments below. Cheers.

And remember, it’s later than you think so play the game you were meant to play.

- Michael

Related posts:

1. Marketing Goal #1 – Attracting New Clients, part 1
2. Marketing Goal #1 – Attracting Clients, part 2

So far in this series we’ve talked about the first two big decisions to address in launching or re-launching your business blog. And those decisions are What is the purpose of my blog? and Who is my target audience? Now let’s move on to the 3rd decision that I take my clients through for the blogging portion of their marketing mix.

The 3^rd big decision is this: What value will I provide to my target audience? The crux of your ability to thrive in this or any economic time, is that you provide amazing value to your clients.

You may have heard this said in one way or another before – give value, value, value…and after a while it starts to sound like blah, blah, blah. So what exactly does amazing value mean? What does it look like?

Well it obviously looks different for different people, products and services. But whether you have a coaching practice, a natural wellness practice, own a cross-fit gym or are a freelance writer – amazing value will always carry this important trait:

It is defined by the client and not by you.

This means that the key is to deliver what THEY want, not what you want or what you think they want.

Your clients and potential clients are the ones who decide what is amazing value for them; it’s not you who decides. That’s why actually talking to your clients and asking them what they value about working with you is of paramount importance to the survival of your business. Of course, the number one way they will be telling you what they value is with their wallets.

If your target clients love how you work with them early in the morning to get ready for their day but you decide to change your availability to Noon to 7 p.m., well guess what, you’re going to have a problem. This is the most basic tenet of marketing that even the big guys can get wrong. Remember the “new Coke” fiasco? Talk about a nightmare backlash!

What amazing value do you provide to your clients? If you get this one right you reach the holy grail of client loyalty. And that my friend, is when you know you have a sustainable business.

If you’re blog isn’t where you’d like it to be, meaning it’s not bringing you clients, be sure to check out the valuable Blog Site Rescue at the bottom of this page. Cheers.

Related posts:

1. The 1st Big Decision For Your New Business Blog (or your redo)
2. The 2nd Big Decision For Your New Business Blog (or your redo)
3. I’m too busy to blog, so what?!