tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87633324618190420612024-11-01T05:48:10.384-05:00Judging Your Favorite TV Shows, One Drink At A TimeThe Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.comBlogger100125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-27116472271613636242012-04-19T23:38:00.000-05:002012-04-19T23:38:58.390-05:00

Sometimes a Lifehouse song should not be a worship song. It should just be a Lifehouse song. And that's all I have to say about that. Foreshadowing? Perhaps. Yeah. Lifehouse. GROUP PERFORMANCE: With all the sound problems, the break dancing in the background and the balloon extravaganza that seemed to take all the singers by surprise, all I could focus on was the tambourine that DID NOT WAVER.

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-40400572421240555962012-04-18T21:51:00.000-05:002012-04-18T21:51:54.268-05:00

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from. And starting tonight a new beginning for all. What? When I was in college, Janet Jackson released her Velvet Rope album. On it, was a "work in progress" that was one of my favorite songs on the cd: Special. My favorite part was when she spoke in the middle and said "You see,

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-40237266833217295542012-04-18T10:24:00.000-05:002012-04-18T10:24:09.595-05:00

Sometimes circumstances prevent one from watching one's preferred television shows in a timely fashion. Sometimes through the magic of TiVo (or Brandi and Eric's choppy satellite) we end up watching things before they're meant to be watched. These are decisions we make in the name of wine. Because there was wine at Brandi and Eric's, but there was no wine at my house. Don't worry, I'm going

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-33179910907016150242012-04-12T23:44:00.000-05:002012-04-12T23:44:22.821-05:00

I'm glad I still have Community saved on my TiVo. Otherwise my one night this week off would have been a total wash. Come on, Smash. STOP PROVING EVERYONE RIGHT. IVY: So...the pills are gone, and now you're just sad and unhireable? And you think that a poorly sung Kelly Clarkson hit which, let's be honest, has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SCENE, is appropriate? Go back to the pills. At least it

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-15203677176904838522012-04-12T20:58:00.000-05:002012-04-12T20:58:59.765-05:00

All of my wine glasses are dirty. But instead of washing them, I'm just drinking this pinot noir out of a coffee mug I got from my sophomore year dorm. Also, I never ate dinner. It seemed easier to sit on the couch. Don't worry, I brought the bottle into the living room. Redneck Woman (Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You by Kellie Pickler) - Let me say right now how sorry I am. I think I

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-16394488810155392592012-04-11T00:13:00.000-05:002012-04-11T00:13:19.158-05:00

Oh my god. It's 10:45. I've just poured my first glass. And I am just now getting to the first clip package. The type of thing that I typically ignore, because I JUST DON'T CARE. And how many freaking commercials are you GOING TO SHOW DURING THE BREAKS?! DO I ACTUALLY HAVE TO SIT HERE FOR AN ENTIRE TWO HOURS?!?!? Oh it's going to be a long night, friends. A night with the potential for A LOT OF

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-3422155493920918522012-04-09T00:48:00.000-05:002012-04-09T00:48:33.021-05:00

WEEK 5: The 80s - Great. I didn't like the 80s back when we were in them. And I realized today while reading a magazine that tightrolling jeans is back. And so are the neon colors. Let me say it now: I don't care how fashionable this is. I'm not doing it. OK, we're in the home stretch here, so I'm going to power through. This Woman's Work (I Like It) - Oh whatever. I can't stand this

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-35362633706870455032012-04-08T23:37:00.000-05:002012-04-08T23:37:06.136-05:00

WEEK 4: Personal Idols - And somehow Randy is getting more and more absurd every week. Is that a candy necklace? Is. That. A. Candy. Necklace? I can't even talk about the puka shell bracelet. It's like we're in a different world here. A world that makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Oh, also, I went through at least two bottles of wine and some bourbon slush this afternoon. Oh Easter. ABSTJD

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-58300324419115442002012-04-08T13:41:00.000-05:002012-04-08T13:41:37.994-05:00

WEEK 3: Billy Joel - Why is Diddy the guest mentor for Billy Joel week? That doesn't make any sense. And why are you arguing? And talking about Christie Brinkley? WHAT IS GOING ON? And we're doing makeovers this week? I know I've moved to the second pitcher of mimosas, but did I also accidentally stumble into an episode of ANTM? Is someone going to have to shave their head later? Will someone

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-1799530688031781132012-04-08T12:37:00.000-05:002012-04-08T12:37:11.776-05:00

WEEK 2 - Year You Were Born (1983-1995). Always a good time. Plus, I enjoy that Tyler has stolen a page from the J.Lo Kohl's line with his sparkly hat and pant suit ensemble. (Jackson, I'm going to ignore another stupid pin. Please stop that next week.) Actually, in googling to find a picture of the hat ensemble, apparently both Tyler and J.Lo frequently rock a wide-brim hat. But who wore it

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-45531253440988648672012-04-08T11:56:00.000-05:002012-04-08T11:56:53.515-05:00

WEEK 1: Stevie Wonder and Whitney Houston - This could get real messy, real fast. I would link back to all the videos in which the judges say "I don't know man, it takes a lot to sing Stevie" or "Well, you've gotta have guts to sing Whitney", but there are just too damn many. Why would you subject us to it? Mantasia (I Wish) - Ok, that was a good way to start off the show. I'm glad you made it

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-42471177742576726102012-04-08T10:57:00.006-05:002012-04-08T11:59:18.833-05:00

Oh this is going to be a long day. But let's be honest. I'm going to fast forward through most of this nonsense. God, there's just so many of them. And they all kind of look the same. Luckily, I have a pitcher of mimosas to get me through this. And another one after that. (And a third, if it comes to it.)

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-24960220213279784912012-04-03T00:13:00.000-05:002012-04-03T00:13:42.266-05:00

By popular demand, here it is. But let's establish some ground rules first. 1. We do NOT say anything bad about Katharine McPhee. 2. We love Anjelica Huston, but we wish she would stop wasting so much alcohol. 3. Theatre people who side with Ivy simply because the woman playing her is a Broadway actress should think about their choices before they open their mouths. 4. We do NOT say anything bad

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-81990101954588584792012-04-02T23:09:00.000-05:002012-04-02T23:09:56.073-05:00

Yes, I'm talking to you, Green. Are. You. Kidding. Me? SIDEBAR ALREADY: Oh God. Don't EVER try to google Cee Lo Green images. Nothing good is going to come of it. However, since it's apparently too early for there to be photos of tonight's red spangled monstrosity, I give you this very similar look. And while we're on the subject of things I'm never going to understand, what is this trend of

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-21470430502755313702012-03-28T20:53:00.001-05:002012-04-02T21:57:44.337-05:00

Ok, the final battle round. And apparently it's going to start with a Max Casella look-alive who makes the poor decision to wear a headband. I'm not sure when dudes decided to start wearing headbands (see Nathanial Marshall, circa American Idol season 8), but it's not good. I suppose it's good for making sure one's hair isn't flat. Too bad there's not a similar tool for one's voice. Because

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-44063353428753964392012-03-26T00:13:00.001-05:002012-03-26T00:19:44.154-05:00

I think the most intense battle from last week was fought by the front and the back of Rory Shields' hair. Except there were no winners here. We all lost royally. Seriously, what is up with that rat's nest? Is that "rock" now? I'm pretty sure Dave Grohl would have something to say about that - and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be good. Here are the other things that annoyed me tonight: 1. Who

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-76060820123605858162011-04-07T23:38:00.000-05:002011-04-07T23:38:44.307-05:00

I thought I could focus on La Bamba's suspenders or Rock of Ages' skinny jeans/warbling disaster or even the monstrosity that is otherwise known as Iggy Pop. But no. You people have made me mad. And now I'm done. McPheever me once, shame on me. McPheever me twice? Well that's it. J.Lo or not, I'm through.

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-60768210656792262122011-03-27T22:09:00.002-05:002011-03-27T22:17:02.970-05:00

Remember when Nigel said there weren't going to be any more theme weeks? That would have been nice. I'm sorry, but I don't like Motown. And I don't like hearing kids talk about how they've never heard these songs before, but they're amazing! Ugh. Shut up children. Right now, I'm in this for J.Lo. But I suppose I have to talk about the contestants too. Fine. Zac Brown Band (Casey Abrams) - "

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-55757644831137439802011-03-19T10:20:00.000-05:002011-03-19T10:20:34.926-05:00

So my schedule and my malfunctioning tivo have prevented me from being an active watcher this season. Luckily, I have random Saturdays which allow me to watch 4-5 episodes at once. This also allows me to fast forward through the drivel that occupies about half (who am I kidding - 9/10) of each episode. I was enjoying the new backup singers and J.Lo's crazy loud bracelets, and I was just going

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-68640661739443960882010-12-18T16:28:00.000-06:002010-12-18T16:28:35.751-06:00

I probably shouldn't watch episodes 2 and 3 back to back (especially after the madness of Jenn C's elimination), but if they don't bring me back fast, I'm out for the season. There's a lot on the line here. And it's not going to be easy in an episode with Wylie Dufresne on the judges' panel. Man, that guy makes me mad. Get a haircut. It seems like we're back on track with the schedule this

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-43386323067835068392010-12-18T15:27:00.000-06:002010-12-18T15:27:29.565-06:00

Considering that all I've consumed today is chips, salsa, peanut butter balls and malbec, it's been a pretty good Saturday. And you know, I bet the kids would love that stuff at midnight. (Although let's be honest, this malbec isn't going to last until 5pm, let alone midnight.) And what is Joe Jonas doing here? (Come on Angry Dale, a pastry chef?) I'm sure he's a great judge for something

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-18940284274025298232010-12-01T23:19:00.003-06:002010-12-18T15:28:18.071-06:00

OK, I approach this season with some trepidation. I only watched Seasons 4-6, so there's all these strangers here that I've only seen on random specials. And some of those that I do know, I can't say I've missed. I'll just say it: I'm here for two things: Hootie and Hoo. And, you know, the wine. OBSERVATION #1: 90% of the cast appears to have made an obvious effort to have a different

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-10385593932420131832010-04-27T22:07:00.001-05:002010-04-28T07:13:24.586-05:00

If I didn't know the producers are enjoying the tension (or whatever you call it) between Simon and Kara, I'd expect Ellen to sit in the 3rd seat next week. Because the interrupting and the annoying were ramped up tonight higher than they've ever been before. Kara. Settle. Down. On an unrelated note (you know, because we're only partly here to talk about anything relating to music) I enjoy

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-59064310623608471712010-04-20T23:02:00.004-05:002010-04-21T00:00:15.306-05:00

Wow. We're so pressed for time the judges don't even get a real entrance? Sad. And yet...we still run over into Glee's time slot. Good job, control room. Well, because you can't be bothered to give me a normal intro, I'm not giving you one either.Goldilocks ("Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac) - Eh. I actually spent this performance reading about Joanna Pacitti. Why, you ask? Because this was

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8763332461819042061.post-7982727989237985702010-04-15T00:09:00.001-05:002010-04-21T00:27:51.036-05:00

Oh this is not going to be good. Did you see that group performance? Sure, it's fine if you close your eyes and listen - you know, since they're totally lip syncing. Wait. No it's not. Some songs are just not meant to be arranged for a show choir. (Yes, I'm sure Glee will prove me wrong at some point. But I will remain steadfast in my opinion on this matter.)GROUP SONG: Fail.FORD

The Thirsty Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07252143928327310952noreply@blogger.com0