Keep Walking!

Why marriage is good for you

2011-08-27T06:39:00.001+09:30

Marriage does more good to you. Trust me. Go and get married if you are single. If you are married, stop wasting your time reading this and start a conversation with your life partner to improve your relationship. Marriage is your lifeline. OK, I can only speak from my own experience.

Having a loving life partner beside you reduces your burden at least by half. Be it work or worries, they get halved where as the happiness and wellness get doubled. After marriage, I discovered my own strengths which I can use to the maximum and shortcomings which I needed to eliminate. This is the one of the biggest positives that I can take after one year of marriage.

When I was single, life seemed easy. I was free to what I wanted to do. I could go out anytime and come home anytime. There was no need to inform anyone. I had many things to do and goals to achieve and I had all the time in the world. When you have "all the time" in the world, you know what happens. Yes, we can relax a while (also known as procrastination) before starting some useful work. I thought I would get these things done 'some day'. That some day never arrived. Things have changed much after marriage, now my goals not only have a timeline but I am asked to do finish things as soon as possible because I have only limited time. I think twice before I start a job to judge if it is worth the effort and once decided, I get it done immediately. Less priority ones have gone out of the list making my "things to do" list lighter. I have also learnt to just sit down with my wife and relax a while without any task-oriented thoughts.

In the last one year of marriage, the difficult thing that I learnt to do is sharing. I never used to share my thoughts, my personal worries to anyone. I thought I can handle all things myself. Eventually, when I started to share things with my wife, life became easy. Happiness multiplied and worries became half.

I thought I would lose my freedom after the marriage. I thought I wouldn't be able to do those pleasure trips without planning. Yes, I did lose the freedom to do those time-wasting, good-for-nothing and meaningless trips. Now, we do go for pleasure trips and combine with photographic assignments with a healthy home-cooked food.

As far as keeping in touch friends and family, we did try our best to be in touch as we sailed through a tough time. Close friends understood us and gave the much needed private space for us to recover back from the misfortunes we had. When you are happy, it doesn’t matter if you stay single or married. Only during such hardships, you would realise the importance of a loving, caring partner who would support you to get you back on track.

Before marriage if someone asks me about my next weekend plan, I wouldn't have a clue. After marriage, I was able to plan our Easter holidays 4 months before and in every high detail because my wife trusts me with everything. Certainly, my organizing skills have improved. I am becoming more responsible day by day.

Thank you Devi for coming into my life and changing it around. I am eternally grateful to you and love you very much. ♥☺

I invite YOU to my wedding

2010-08-25T14:55:00.000+09:30

Ok, here it is. Devi, my fiancee and I sincerely invite you, my readers to my big, south indian wedding on Aug 27th, 2010 at my hometown of Kallakurichi and to the Aug 29th reception at Chidambaram.

Thiru & Devi Marriage Invitation

Thanks,
Thirumurugan
tmurugan gmail

The Next Door

2010-06-22T17:17:00.000+09:30

When I moved from Melbourne to this new town called Gympie in Queensland, I knew no one. I had known only few of my office colleagues whom I met during the interview. Having just returned from a crowded family holiday in India, no wonder I felt alone. I was undergoing a dilemma whether I had made the 'right move' to come to the 'right place'. I found a small unit house, locked myself and spent my time either watching movies or browsing the Internet until my neighbour knocked my door one day.

My neighbour was standing at the door with a basket of goodies that had tea, sugar, noodles and rice. I thought he was delivering it to a wrong address. He smiled and said, "This is my way of welcoming you to the neighbourhood, mate. Enjoy yourself". Whenever I returned from office, he would catch hold of me for a few small talks on what he did on that day and ask me few questions on what I did at work. After those chats, after a few days, things started improving. I started to be social with others on the streets and also at the work. His random acts of kindness didn't stop there.

When I rush home to take my clothes to save them from the afternoon rains, I have always found them neatly folded and kept in front of my door. On the weekends, he would ask me if I needed anything 'down the streets', as he is going for a stroll. He would knock at my door while cooking to complement how nice the curry flavour is (I had to offer him dinner for a day or two - I am happy about it). He would offer me a ride on his car to go to markets when he goes. He reminds me if I had left my windows opened or doors unlocked (yea, I do that to check how good this town is) when I come home. I have thanked many a times for his small acts of kindness.

One day I asked him why he is doing all these (yea, if someone is extremey good to us, you doubt it and ask why - that's what my city folks have taught me). He said, 'I will tell you mate, when I came to this place a few years ago, I was broke, depressed going through a divorce and what-not, I felt I wanted to kill myself. Then, one of the neighbour here, helped me to recover. He talked me out of the hole, comforted to bring me back where I am now. He's gone now, but it's my way of paying tribute to him. I know how tough it would be to move to a new place and find your feet. Don't you worry, I am here'.

On the other day, I asked him, 'Dont you get annoyed by the people who laughs at you for the things that you do to others?'. He replied, 'Yea, mate. I know there are few goofies out there who snap at me and think I am a weirdo from another planet. But, these are the little things that every good neighbour should be doing, not as a duty but as a courtesy thing. I always do these things to make myself feel good. If the people are good, then they will feel happy, thank me and smile at me. If not, at least I am happy having known that I had done some little good for others. It's all about looking after each other, is it not?'.

I am still thinking what I should do to pay him back. Well, he had taught me that too, didn't he? Perhaps, I need to find another lonely looking person who is struggling to settle down in this town and help him/her.

Didn't Mother Teresa tell you this: "I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor?"

Random things

2009-12-14T17:01:00.000+10:30

4 stages of blogging

Stage 1. When you start a personal blog, you would want to blog everything that you see, hear and read. After all, you have started your own Persnal Media.

Stage 2: When you gain an audience, you dont know what your audience wants. You think twice before you start to write something. You don't want to look stupid for writing such a silly post.

Stage 3: Social applications take up most of your sharing / bookmark type of posts. It looks like it is hard to write anything other than your own life.

Stage 4: You haven't written anything in your blog for a looooooong time. Now, you have learnt the art of blogging.

----0----

On the other day, I was talking to an Indian who told me about the Japanese style of outsourcing. When negotiating for a deal, it seems that the Japanese would want to achieve these three things from their business partners:

1. Products/ Services of highest quality

2. Lowest price gurantee and

3. Quickest turnaround time.

In all these three things, Japanese set the targets. Do you know who agrees to match their hard-to-achieve quality standards, impossible timelines and dead-cheap asking prices?

Indian business consultants!

Story: Gold Wrapping Paper

2009-06-30T09:20:00.001+09:30

Some time ago, a mother punished her five year old daughter for
wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and
she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to
decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the
next morning and then said,
'This is for you, Momma.'

The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger
flared again when she opened
the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner.

'Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's
supposed to be something
inside the package?'

She had tears in her eyes and said, 'Oh, Momma, it's not empty! I blew
kisses into it until it was full.'

The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around
her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless
anger.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it
is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the
years of her life.

Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box
and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who
had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given a
Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our
children, family, friends and GOD. There is no more precious
possession anyone could hold.

-from a forwarded email

Story:Happiness Follows

2009-04-23T20:25:00.001+09:30

Once there was an old alley cat walking down the street looking for
his supper. As he walked along he came upon a beautiful young cat
who was running around in circles chasing her tail. Around and
around she went trying as hard as she could to catch her tail.

The old alley cat stopped and asked her, "What are you doing?"
The young cat slowed down and replied that she had been taught that joy,
happiness, success and luck were all in the tip of her tail.

"All that I have to do is catch the end of my tail, and I will have the happy life,
she said.

The old alley cat replied, "I've been around for a long time,
and I know that joy, happiness, success and luck are in the tip of my
tail; but, you know if I don't chase it and work my very hardest and
don't worry about it, the happy life follows me wherever I go. My tail
follows me everywhere, so I don't need to chase it."

Happiness isn't a place, a time, or a possession. You have to make it happen.
The ways to make it happen is to stop worrying about everything and just
go about your business, and do your very best.

Then, if you really work hard, your happiness will follow you just like the alley cat's tail.

Story: Live or Work

2009-03-08T16:33:00.000+10:30

The father was a hardworking man who delivered bread as a living to support his wife and three children. He spent all his evenings after work attending classes, hoping to improve himself so that he could one day find a better paying job. Except for Sundays, Father hardly ate a meal together with his family. He worked and studied very hard because he wanted to provide his family with the best money could buy.

Whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

The day came when the examination results were announced. To his joy, Father passed, and with distinctions too! Soon after, he was offered a good job as a senior supervisor, which paid handsomely.

Like a dream come true, Father could now afford to provide his family with life's little luxuries like nice clothing, fine food and vacation abroad.

However, the family still did not get to see father for most of the week. He continued to work very hard, hoping to be promoted to the position of manager. In fact, to make himself a worthily candidate for the promotion, he enrolled for another course in the Open University.

Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

Father's hard work paid off and he was promoted. Jubilantly, he decided to hire a maid to relieve his wife from her domestic tasks. He also felt that their three-room flat was no longer big enough; it would be nice for his family to be able to enjoy the facilities and comfort of a condominium. Having experienced the rewards of his hard work many times before, Father resolved to further his studies and work at being promoted again. The family still did not get to see much of him. In fact, sometimes father had to work on Sundays entertaining clients.

Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

As expected, Father's hard work paid off again and he bought a beautiful condominium, overlooking the coast of Singapore. On the first Sunday evening at their new home, father declared to his family that he decided not to take any more courses or pursue any more promotions. From then on he was going to devote more time to his family.

Father did not wake up the next day.

End of the story!

Essence of Bhagavad Gita

2009-03-05T09:45:00.001+10:30

"Whatever happened, it happened for good.
Whatever is happening, it is happening for good.
Whatever will happen, it will also happen for good.

What of yours did you lose?
Why or for what are you crying?
What did you bring with you, for you to lose it?
What did you create, for it to be wasted or destroyed?

Whatever you took, it was taken from here.
Whatever you gave, it was given from here.

Whatever is yours today, will belong to someone else tomorrow.
On another day, it will belong to yet another.

Change is the law of the universe."

-The essence of Bhagavad Gita (The holybook of Hinduism)

Whenever you fail something or when you couldn't accept the things that are happening to you, it will be very comforting to read the above lines. The trick is to stay in the balance even if something good happens to you. When you understand and remember these lines, you will be comfortable in leading a good life without being carried away by the life's happenings.

Story: Time and Love

2009-03-01T16:28:00.000+10:30

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left. Love was the only one who stayed.

Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment when the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness,can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place for you here."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness let me go with you." "Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Love realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how real Love is."

- overheard somewhere in a train station

Story: He Needed Me

2009-02-22T16:22:00.001+10:30

A nurse escorted a tired, anxious young man to the bedside of an elderly man. "Your son is here," she whispered to the patient. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. He was heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack and he dimly saw the young man standing outside the oxygen
tent.

He reached out his hand and the young man tightly wrapped his fingers around it, squeezing a message of encouragement. The nurse brought a chair next to the bedside. All through the night the young man sat holding the old mans hand, and offering gentle words of hope. The dying man said nothing as he held tightly to his son.

As dawn approached, the patient died. The young man placed on the bed the lifeless hand he had been holding, and then he went to notify the nurse. While the nurse did what was necessary, the young man waited. When she had finished her task, the nurse began to say words of sympathy to the young man.

But he interrupted her. "Who was that man?" He asked. The startled nurse replied, "I thought he was your father." "No, he was not my father," he answered. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?" asked the nurse.

He replied, "I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, I knew how much he needed me..."

From a forwarded email.

Story:How to grow good corn

2009-02-15T16:12:00.004+10:30

Just a filler for an anonymous reader who wanted stories on my blog (will do as a regular sunday feature). It is a forwarded email and do not ask me the source. If you let me know, I will credit it.

James Bender, in his book "How to Talk Well" relates the story of a farmer who grew award winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won a blue ribbon. One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it.

The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours. "How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked. "Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbours grow inferior corn, crosspollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow
good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."

He is very much aware of the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve
unless his neighbour's corn also improves. So it is in other dimensions. Those who choose to be at peace must help their neighbours to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare
of all.

The lesson for each of us is this: if we are to grow good corn, we must help our neighbours grow good corn.

Friendship is greater than everything

2009-02-10T22:14:00.004+10:30

In The Autobiography of a Yogi, Swami Yogananda says,

"Of all the relationship, the highest order is
Friendship. Because, all other relations develop or
come out of some expectations / commitment etc. Like
Father / Daughter, Husband / Wife, Relative etc ..
they demand some commitment in return.. But only
Friendship asks for nothing and provides you
everything!"

Have you ever had that feeling, 'Ah, I swear that I said something similar to someone!' when you read something? I did write in an email a nearly similar quote as you read above and found that now in my gmail archive. I save chats, emails and everything (long live Gmail!) and I could easily search what I said, wrote in the last few years.

me: do u know all other relationships expect something from the other person... except friendship..which is unconditional, doesnt demand anything

Great people think alike, huh?

The Curious Case of Mr.Thirumurugan Ponnusamy

2009-01-27T18:39:00.002+10:30

Here is another self-boasting blog post. Well, it is my personal blog, what else would you expect people? Since my childhood, I thought (still I think) I was different. I see things differently. When given a problem, most probably I would think of some stupid solutions, but they will be quick and easy to work with. I believe there is nothing in the world you can not do. Anything can be done. No limits. Some of these statements will annoy my friends, but that's how I am.

If I am into something, I will do a pretty good job or I would get out of it asap if I can't make a difference.
I think I am good at creating a 'good boy' image. I wish I can match the image.
I wouldn't buy a thing just because others have bought it. I will buy only if I think it is necessary. Even if it means I have to stand alone in a crowd.
I care less about everything. But, I give more importance to people than materials.
What will you do when you see a long lost friend in a market? I would prefer to run away unless he / she is a very close friend (or they see me first and give me a wave).
If someone says something can't be done, I will try it first.
For me, the world works on an equilibrium. Things that you lose will come back to you. Robbers will be robbed, my money will come back to me. So, I don't argue / bargain most of the times.
I talk too much (if you haven't found out already) on what to do. I need to do at least half of what I talk.
I would always try new things. New tastes, new experiences, new people, new blah..blah.
I change my decisions quick and fast. If situations change, I change my decisions. I thrive on change.
I see the world as a perfect one with only few, negligible flaws. I believe all the people are good, they have been good to me at least.
I will get bored by routine tasks. If you ask me to turn up exactly at a same place, same time for the next 7 days, don't expect me there on the second day. My married life wont be a pleasure, I bet.
If you ask my opinion about something on two different days, my answers would be different. That doesn't mean I am not dependable. I would've grown/changed that much.
I learn good things from my friends. I unlearn bad things from my friends.
I hate mediocrity. Either I want the worst thing or the best thing - nothing in between.
I am good at listening. I would like to listen. This is why I have got more friends than anyone else in our friend circle.
Oh, I almost forgot this - I won't advise anyone unless they ask for it. Some of my friends think that I do not care for others, but I think everyone should mind their own life unless they are making a terrible mistake and don't know how to get out of it.
I will not be hurt if you tease me or say bad words. Simply I would not accept it as I would never accept any compliments. I know how good or bad I am.
I wont get angry at all. I forgot when I was angered last time. May be the day, when my father refused to get me a bicycle at age 15.
I am good at letting things go. I know if something is not mine, it wont come within my reach how much ever I try. If it is, then I will be led to it.
I believe my future will be always good, things would get better as it has been.

Never mind all the above statements, I would change myself so often these may go irrelevant in a while. Are you confused enough? If you have a blog/notebook, do such a list or keep to yourself. Doing a self-discovery is a great exercise.

I have started writing this a few weeks ago, adding now and then. Then, I retook a personality test with Personal DNA (Result: Considerate Inventor; when I checked an year ago, I was a faithful inventor - look, i have changed!).

You might want to start from discovering your Personal DNA.

P.S:- In case if you haven't noticed, Blogger allows you to Follow this blog (on your left column, down below), and I will follow your blog if it appeals to me (works for the blogs hosted on Blogger.com only). If you have a personal blog and would like to follow me, send me an email :-).

20 things that I learnt working for others

2009-01-20T13:26:00.001+10:30

Working in a company/office has its advantages. You come across different kinds of people and you can learn so much about life from them. You encounter same kind of stereotypes wherever you go. Following are the things that I learnt in my previous jobs.

How you appear is most important than how you perform in your job. Remember to create a professional image all the time; learn what's going on in your industry; speak them up whenever you can.
How you communicate is more important than how you do the job.
Any job will become a routine, mundane job after some time. You need to stretch yourself to make it interesting. If you can't do it, then quit.
Always have some ideas up your sleeve to tell your manager on how to improve things.
Take responsibilities when offered, they are the pathway to move up the career ladder.
Come at least 5 minutes earlier than the office start time. You can go home on the dot.
Use Emails more often than phone. You have got a written proof when you send emails.
Assume that your browsing habits (for personal use) are monitored. In all probability, the company would keeping an eye on them.
Be nice with your receptionist / administrative assistants. They run the company.
Avoid gossiping. Be neutral.
If there is a specific lunch time, get out of the office and go for a walk. You will feel better when you return back to your desk.
When you like something about your colleague, tell it in the next meeting. When you don't like something, tell them in private.
Bad people. They will be everywhere. Know how to handle them.
Don't do the works allotted to your colleagues. You tell them how to do and let them do it.
Trust people. Tell them how much you depend on them and how only they can pull-off a work like that.
Compliment people; Give credits to others. Nice employees leave company not because of less salary, but for the lack of recognition.
Tell your team members that it is "OK" to take risks. Only by taking risks, you can invent things.
Remember birthdays of your colleagues.
You can't expect a person to be loyal to your company when you don't trust him. Read that once again.
If you are good at phone, you can get more things done.

What are things that you learnt from your workplace?

Kids and Grand 'Kids'

2009-01-12T18:00:00.002+10:30

I like listening to kids (4 and below) and elderly people (70 and above) - grand 'kids'. I believe they have very beautiful stories to share with me. The guys and gals in between, no offense but you all are plain boring (myself included). Let me try to explain why.

We have lost the real of joy of living; enjoying the present moment without worrying about what's coming next. When a person smiles and waves at you in the streets, you look them suspicious as if they come looking for your money. We search for money, relationships, love, power, recognition and everything else at present. We postpone present happy moments for 'future happiness' that may not arrive. Endless search for some things that we think we don't have. We never satisfied with what we have.

While at office, we would be thinking of home and while at play, we would be worrying about next day's troubles in office. We are all searching for something with so much greediness that we have forgotten how to enjoy the present moments. When was the last time you did something with undivided attention for at least 30 minutes?

But for the kids, the big search has not begun and for the elderly people the search has been complete. I like seeing this world with kid's eyes. You can see a world with no barriers. If you are struck with a problem, ask a kid on how to deal. They will tell a beautiful solution. We make things complex. Only few fortunate ones keep their childhood alive as they grow.

On the other day, I asked a friend of mine, 'how is your sister?'. To which she replied, 'oh yea, she is happy'. Immediately, I asked, 'happy, what for?'. Did you see the problem? We need a reason to be happy. Birthday, job promotion, marriage or whatever, we need a tiny reason to celebrate. But, kids are always happy, to become sad, they need a valid reason. Got that?

The design of life is so beautiful, you are born as a kid and when you get old, you become a kid again. You no longer respect material things. All you need is undivided attention from the loved ones as a kid would expect. Be gentle with kids and elderly people. Because, you were looked after by your grand parents when you were a kid and your kids will look after you when you become old.

But, I thought they were for

2009-01-05T23:09:00.003+10:30

If you are a shy person like me, you would understand this. I never ask anyone about anything. I assume things (partly because I am an egoistic Engineer). Sometimes I am right but most of the times I would be wrong. I will list some of the common misunderstandings I had as a child. I forgot many of those stupid assumptions.

As a kid, I thought the moon was following me wherever I go. Even when I started running, it would follow me.
When people were electorlocuted (touched a live electric wire), I thought their blood will boil, evaporate and then they woudl die eventually.
I thought God would be watching all my activities and listening to all my words (lies). My parents told me so and I believed.
I thought the elevators / lifts are for disabled and old people who couldn't climb up the stairs.
I thought if you hurt an ant, in your next life, you will become an ant. That ant will become a human and it will hurt you. Same pinch.
After seeing some hoardings showing "Contact: 8345678", I thought that was a brilliant idea. Make people to call a phone number to know what the hoarding's advertisement is. Curious, huh?
When I first signed up for an email account, I came up with a strong, cryptic password which I thought would never be guessed by anyone else. A day later, I forgot that password and lost my thirumurugan @ hotmail.com account.
And I thought all those free newsletters that I signed up with the new Hotmail account would make me smart. Duh!
When using a slow dial-up connection, minimizing the Internet Explorer windows, I thought, would speed up the loading of web pages. Have you tried? It works.
When I came to Australia, I never attended many lectures / concerts because they demanded a "Gold Coin Donations only". Gold coin for a 2 hour lecture? I thought no way. After an year, some one told me that the $1 and $2 coins are called 'Gold coins'. But, in my country a gold coin is a gold coin. Bugger all those concerts!

When I came here to Australia, everything that I came across were so alien to me and I had to ask people to know what it is. Thankfully, I had a friend Chelsey from USA, Chong from China and Preeti from India who patiently explained to me.

Stupid assumptions make you look stupid. But, aren't they cute?

108 things I wish to do in 2009 (reviewed 30.Nov.2009)

2009-01-01T00:01:00.010+10:30

First things first. I wish a happy, healthy and wealthy new year to you, your friends and your family. May you get all the things that you wish (be careful though) for in 2009.

Here is a challenge for myself. I wish to do the following 108 things before 31st December, 2009. Let us see how many I complete. I am planning to update this list as I progress through each of these things. I have never tried many of these things before (for eg. marriage) and I am excited and thrilled. I dont tell what I wish to do even to my close friends (except with the one friend). I think 2009 is going to be a big year for me in more than few ways. I will add more details to each and write blog posts how I am doing / not doing with each of these at later dates.

The status as per 31.Jan.2009 is within brackets.
Blue - Not yet started.
Orange - Doing something about it.
Green - Done, Yay!

~~Watch F1 race in Melbourne (Yay, Done!).~~

Remember to wish people on their birthdays (Marked all the birthdays in Google Calendar. Now, I will never forget).
Watch a real whale (Winter is the best time to do it).
Try bungee-jumping.
Reconnect with all the forgotten friends. Keep in touch with them through phone calls / emails (Must do more it more often; Email seems so much better).
Drive a car on a dirt track in Australian Outback (Done with Magna).

~~Watch Sydney Fireworks.~~

Visit Perth and travel around for two days.
Watch AFL final at MCG.
Go on a dating trip with a girl friend (Done).
To be a better human being (doing).
Watch a broadway musical ('Wicked') in Australia (Wached "Chicago" instead. Done!).
~~Write a screenplay for a short movie (Abandoned).~~
Fly in a hot air balloon (should try in Melbourne or Sydney).
Visit a saturday night party at an Australian pub. Ask the DJ to play a tamil AR Rahman's song (Without asking, I heard "Jai Ho" song.).
Watch snow/snowing and try sking (Missed, better luck next year).
Watch Ned Kelly's helmet and visit the prison (Done).
Be organized (a little more) (trying, doing).
Learn to play Golf (tried once).
Travel from Adelaide to Northern Territory by the train 'The Ghan'.
Attend a opera concert at Sydney Opera House.
Read at least 10 tamil novels (ordered 2 novels).
Visit Ulluru (Ayer's Rock).
Try snorkelling at Great Barrier Reef.
Travel to Tasmania by ship 'Spirit of Tasmania' (Booked for next year).
Go to the underground town at Coober Peddy.
Buy a full-frame 35mm Canon DSLR and develop a decent system of lenses and accessories (for year end-2010; buying other accessories).
Publish an album with photos of Victorian landscapes (April).
Learn photography formally (Done; Doing).
Visit Singapore for 2 days (Visited KL for 3 days).
Get smart (dress ).
Work for only 3 days a week (should find a day job).
Write a tamil novel (e-book).
Develop a photography site displaying my photos (see www.kalpaphotography.com).
Stay at a boat house in Kerala.
Ride on an elephant (I have done horse riding this month for the first time. Elephant, huh, it's easy in India?).
Read all the poems (at least 50%) written by 'Mahakavi' Bharathi (Got it; Reading it).
Appear in a local newspaper article (with photo). Not any national newspaper, just local (trying).
Take participate and win at a photography competition.
Publish a coffee-table photo book (shoot more photos; organize portfolios 31, March).
Make at least $500 cash flow from Google Adsense. Invest in photographic accessories (half way up; move HTLO to wordpress).
Get a good digital video camera (how much is a camcorder).
Find the right girl and marry her (i know what i want; searching for her now).
Shoot a documentary about friendship (friends are ready, a video camera is needed).
Work on improving memory skills (rely on notepads?).
Write an e-book on making money using your digital camera (started writing).
Buy an used Hyundai Getz (Red) car (saving money).
Create an income stream of at least $3000 per month through selling photos (half-way there).
Shoot underwater photos of coral reefs and living things (for Brisbane trip).
Visit Kangaroo Island (Easter weekend?).
Learn swimming (Enrolled; Swimming daily).
Organize all my photos into portfolios that are saleable (complete by 20, April 2009).
Sleep under the stars (try camping?).
Photograph wildlife at their native habitat (nearly done in zoos).
Bring Father, Mother and Sister to Australia for at least 2 weeks (2010).
Do a camping trip (should do).
Visit Gold coast / Brisbane (should do).
Attend Graduation ceremony at University of Adelaide (should apply).
Write and post 'snail-mails' to at least 25 of my friends.
Drive to Adelaide by car (where's the car).
Express your love to friends and family members (doing/trying).
Develop a successful portfolio at StockPhoto sites (need to shoot more saleable images)
Learn to do relationship counseling (talk to friends).
Read 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' book before watching the movie (Done. Movie on IMAX).
Watch 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' movie at IMAX in Melbourne.
Visit Immigration Museum at Melbourne.
Invest in good clothes (every month) (for this month, none bought).
Get a photo (taken by me) published at Melbourne MX (should try).
Invite friends and show them interesting places around Hamilton (need to do).
Fly around Great Ocean Road & Twelve Apostles (should try on a blue sky day).
Inspire at least 5 people to achieve their goals/potentials (doing).
Get at least 10 new friends (got 5).
Dress well for office (doing it).
Set up a charity fund raiser (online/offline).
Celebrate birthday with kids (mm..kids, where are thee?).
Meet old people and interview them (should try here in Hamilton).
Watch 100 best MGR movies (100, you are kidding?).
Read the unbiased political history of Tamilnadu.
Play pranks to those who played pranks on me in 2008 (secretly planning).
Visit a native Australian settlement and talk to the native kids (how).
Go to Canberra and watch Tulips festival (Done. Melbourne Tulip Festival instead).
Become a best friend of someone (trying).
Shoot and make a coffee-table book with Kids' portraits (Doing).
Collect best of Australian movies (Done; Doing).
Organize a photographic exhibition (organising photos first).
Watch an AFL match (soon?).
Set up a solar-powered gadget at home (Solar garden lights setup).
Attend a Film Festival.
Shoot, edit and upload videos at Youtube (what videos, should explore).
Learn to understand and speak Hindi (can someone help?).
Get a new scooter for father (Done).
Be expressive (trying).
Surprise friends often with some unexpected, inexpensive gifts (doing).
Read India 2020 (mm..).
Get fit by doing some physical activity for an hour every day (should try).
Buy a new Sony Ericsson smartphone (Bought a similar smartphone).
Develop a web service / social network with the help of friends (bought domain; webspace).
Set up Internet/Video chat at home (India) (Next year).
Learn to identify stars by skywatching (Telescope).
Write at least one blog post every week (Failed miserably; Have some posts planned).
Learn the gist of Islam (got the gist from my friend Sabina).
Shoot street portraits (photos) for free (started advertising; bought space).
Visit Tirupathi in India.
Meet a saint / yogi and have a conversation (saving this one for Indian trip).
Shoot a series of travel videos (i need to start editing them).
Learn foot massaging/Reflexology (Doing).
Save & Invest 10% of my total income (Need to find an investment fund).
Learn to draw with Adobe Illustrator.

I may change or improve these things. Stay tuned to know how I progress. By the way, what are you going to do in 2009?

Bookmark this page to track how I progress in each of my goals.

Dont go out Kittie

2008-12-13T07:06:00.000+10:30

Neither I dislike pets nor do I hate them. We have never had pets at home in India. My grandma didn’t like it and my mom didn’t like it, so we didn’t have a pet at home. It is an old saying that ‘Soldiers like Dogs and Artists like Cats’. I am not sure if I fit into either of those categories but, I like kittens and puppies more than their adult versions.

Pets have always seen me as a friendly person, I am fortunate that way not to receive any bites from any of the pets I have encountered with. When I moved to the current house, my housemate asked if it is OK for him to have pets. I replied affirmative as long as I don’t encounter a big, fiery dog. But, the pet turned to out to be a black cat.

Neither he was a cat nor was he black. I would rather call him a kitten and brownish black. I asked if the kitten has a pet name but, my housemate said he had forgotten to think of a name. He called it simply ‘Kittie’. My housemate’s way of taking care of pets is just ignoring them 90% of the time and cuddling them 10% of the time. I wonder what purpose it serves to keep a bird caged for all the time, feeding it, watering it but never looked if it is OK. Without proper feeding, while he was away, fishes in tank gave their life one by one finally leaving a tank of full of muddy water.

Let’s talk about the cat kitten. I didn’t like the kitten, honestly. I mean it was sticking to whoever is nearby. If my housemate was present, it will keep ‘meow’ing around his legs, laps and if he’s not there, I will be his pet. While watching Telly, he would come and sit on the laptop and will continue to disturb with his ‘meow’s unless you are stroking him gently. When I sit on the couch with my laptop, he would come and sit comfortably on the keyboard and will start sleeping. What an annoying little kittie!

When my housemate goes away, it is a nightmare really. He would ask me to feed the kittie, I will try to do it. But, even after eating 1 full container of cat food (yuk, it smells!) he will be purring my legs and ask me to feed him more. Before sleep, my housemate will put the kitten into a small room, when I try to do that he ‘meow’s with such a tone that will evoke sympathy from anyone. Eventually, he will meow his way into my bed and sleep with me till morning. Even if I arrange a small bed with spare bed sheets, he wouldn’t get out of the comfyness of my bed. Bad Kittie, I will get rid you out once my housemate comes.

There is a funny game the kittie (and we) would like to play. When you point a laser gun (from a cigarette lighter), the kittie will chase the red light trying to catch it. It is fun to try it if you have a kitten or puppy. We were using it to improve his reflexes to make him more alert. For this reason, we won’t let him out of the house as there is a big highway with heavy traffic on it. My housemate may have thought that I didn’t like ‘kittie’. On a night, I accidentally let him out when I my housemate was away. I was afraid he might get killed by the traffic on the road, searched him on the cold night but couldn’t find him. Without any interest to play hide-and-seek, I got inside my room and slept well only to be disturbed by the kittie’s meow calls. It was past midnight, he wanted to get back into the house. I let him in with a warning to not to stray outside (as if he cares!).

Another day, I was getting in to the home back from office and my housemate opened the door to go outside. In a split second, kittie, tried to sneak out and I said aloud, ‘Don’t go out, kittie’. He has already slipped out. My housemate after few hours, knocked my door and said, ‘The kittie has gone. He was run over by a car or truck. Probably, I should’ve listened to you when you said not to let out.’ I was silent. He continued, ‘He wouldn’t disturb you anymore. I have put him to rest in the garden.’ I keep to myself usually when I come home, my housemate and myself - we speak very few words. On the day, I told him I am sorry. He said, ‘that’s fine. He’s just sleeping in the garden’.

After few moments, my housemate came again. He asked if I would like to watch a Teleserial (Underbelly) with him which was banned in Victoria due to some judicial reasons. I knew I hated it as I don’t like teleserials. I replied, ‘oh lovely, let us watch’. I started to miss Kittie. Even after seven months, I miss him.

good things and not-so-good things

2008-12-09T12:48:00.001+10:30

One can tell about a person by knowing about his/her friends. But, you can also tell about his/her friends by observing the person. If a person has some good qualities, part of the credit should go to his friends. If he has bad qualities, again the blame should go to his friends. His friends should have told him that something is wrong; which also would have given him an opportunity to correct himself. Friends should be like mirrors, they should reflect our good qualities and bad qualities alike and immediately. Not two days later or two years later.

I am not a person who openly tells compliments to people. I am not very comfortable in telling any negative things about a person. This is really bad, because there is no use in keeping them both to myself. I wanted to change this. I started writing emails to my friends with some good things that I like in them and some not-so-good things that I didn't like in them (that I wish they could change or improve). When we let them know the bad things, we give an opportunity to correct themselves, but, if we don't tell what's wrong - we will be the culprits.

So far, I have written five emails and got four positive replies. Most of them were very happy that I came forward with such a honest feedback and appreciated me for sending them. But, all my friends would not take such a feedback positively, so I need to carefully choose my first few recipients.

You also try this. Just include a common disclaimer on these lines 'This is based on my observations and I could be wrong. Correct me and I will gladly accept. You can send such a feedback (good things/not so good things) to me as well, but you must write at least 3 things that you don't like in me and would like me to improve on it.'

Let there may be more good things (be genuine), than the bad ones in your feedback. Make it clear that you are expressing them now because, you care about them.

It is a habit which I want to practise from now on. Whenever we see a good thing / bad thing, it is better to tell as and when instead of keep it within ourselves. I think we need to encourage people to come up and give us such feedback or corrections. No one is perfect and we are all on the same boat to improve ourselves. We have got caring friends so, let us ask their honest opinions.Going forward, let us change ourselves for the better.

Missing a town named Hamilton

2008-12-03T14:41:00.002+10:30

'..So, tell me about the life in Hamilton', asked a friend. I replied, 'Hamilton is boring'. I knew it is a lame statement. I thought if I had the right to say it that way. When I landed on one of the coldest, dark winter night at Hamilton, I never thought I would last a month here. No one will be seen at the streets after 5pm. The temperature would reach below 3 degrees and you will see nothing but fog. But, 18 months later, when my visa ended prematurely, and when I had to go back, I felt very sad to leave the town of Hamilton. I never worried about leaving Adelaide or never gave a damn about leaving Australia without see some of my dream destinations. Leaving Hamilton, and thinking I may not come back here was really hurting.

The town of Hamilton is like a poem written in a foreign language. The foreign language that you hardly have seen or heard before. For any outsiders and newcomers, it will look like an ordinary (postcard) country town. For that matter, every country town has some hidden secrets. Secrets that you can't read them off straight away. You have to spend some time (days, months or years) to really understand them.

As a person who has come from a city, I found it hard to slow down, let alone liking it. I used to wonder how many customers visited the corner shop (8am-5pm daily; Saturday half day; Sunday closed) that was down the street. Seriously, I wanted to sit and count one day. Everything was small - shops (they close everything at 5pm), theatre (4 weekend shows), library (what no wireless..damn) and your next door's neighbour's (so, how big is your hometown in India?) ambitions. Have you seen 'The Village' movie by M Night Shyamalan. I thought I was in such a village.

There are more sheeps in Hamilton than the number of people (200 sheeps for a person; I may be overly under-estimating). Such a huge number of sheeps help Hamilton to make it the 'Wool Capital of the World'. I know you are going Google that.

Half of the population are currently unemployed, because they are retired. On every thursday, the town gets busy because that is the day when the pension is paid.

On the month of December, people sincerely decorate their homes for Christmas and this year, I have planned (will try) to photograph them and make a photo-montage. May be I need to a photo project to capture the life of Hamilton .

There is a friend (among many others) in Hamilton, when I tell her about India, she listens to it as if I am retelling the 'Lord of the Rings' mythology and the life on Middle-Earth.

Running a shop in Hamilton is challenging than doing the same in Melbourne/Sydney.That is if you don't know how to run a shop where people come. With limited people (customers) and very few shops, customer care is the only way to survive.Imagine this. You walk into a sandwich bar and a man pops up and introduces, 'Hey, I am Albert. Whats yr name?' and chats to you while he makes a $3.50 sandwich (Adding extra bread slices if you are hungry, with plenty of veggies and meat), which is just great. You will treated like a VIP every time you walk in, from next time.

While going to Melbourne, the bus go across plenty of such smaller (or shall I say smallest) towns. I wonder how people live there, what do they do for a living. On one day, I want to break my journey and stay one or two days and talk to the locals to understand the life in such towns. Some day.

So, what's the point of the blabbering post? You just need to slow down, spend some time to understand and appreciate country living. Not many people have that gift.

I have to move on from here, one day. I will be missing Hamilton for the rest of my life.

How do you discourage terrorists?

2008-11-27T08:47:00.002+10:30

Mumbai rocked by terror attacks, ATS chief, 80 killed
28 killed in Iraq bomb blasts
17 BOMB BLASTS ROCK AHMEDABAD, 29 DEAD

I have been thinking about this blog post since the Bangalore / Ahmedabad bomb blasts in India. Terrorist attacks are nothing new, it's been like this in the developing nations for over a decade. The world took a serious note only after 9/11. No country is safe from terrorism/terrorists. A few weeks ago, I was talking (listening) to retired police officer in the regional victoria. He said, "The traffic and crime are people's problems. If people are vigilant all the time, no incidents would happen. Only a few men can't make it happen". Terrorism is also a people's problem. No Government / Secret Agency will help us to predict such activity. It's about finding answers to the questiond 'How do you stop terrorists/terrorism?', 'How will you and your family react to an act of terrorism?' and 'Do you have a plan in place to fight terrorism?'. Here are my initial thoughts:

What Governments can do?

Any Government, be it USA, UK Australia or India, should detach religion from terrorism. Give up the prejudice that people of ONLY some religion are practising terrorism. That kind of prejudice will easily let the real culprits off the hook.
Try to solve the core issue of terrorists, if you can. They might have a valid reason to fight.
Follow money. Track where money is being sent/received.
Reward citizens who give vital information about a suspected activity.

What Media can do?

The media need not 'celebrate' terrorism/terrorists on the front page / news coverage with full-coloured photos. The way they reported the recent blasts on the front page and coverage as 'how big', 'how devastating' and 'how spectacular', anyone who seeks glory might try taking up a career in terrorism. Terrorists objective is to induce fear with the public, with the help of media, they are achieving it every time. If I have the power, I would call the media people and ask not to report any terrorist activities from this moment. NO - not even a word.I don't care about the 'freedom of press'.
Publish good stories - the stories of people who have fought against hardships.
Media can choose 'Good Citizens of the Year' from each State, Locality to show that persons who practise good ethics, values will be rewarded. This would make everyone believe that if you do good, you will receive good.

What Citizens (we) can do?

Keep your eyes wide open. If we assume there are about 10% of total population are terrorists, non-terrorists - we are the majority. 90% good people can have their eyes on on those 10% terrorists.
Report to Police/Government as soon as you see something suspicious.
Talk to your kids. Teach moral values to your children. Be responsible for their actions. Monitor their friends/connections even if they are grown-ups.

Now, it's your turn. Prepare for the battle.

14 Tips from My 99-year old Grandmother

2008-11-25T19:02:00.004+10:30

Nearly 100 but, my Grandma is going strong. She is my mom's mom. I am already feeling sad because, I may lose her one day. Much of my values, habits were hardcoded to me by my grandma. I wonder how many young kids have the opportunity to listen to grandma's stories every night. I have learnt so much from her and here are the tips that she has told us from time-to-time and try to practise every day.

1. Travel and see new places because, that is the only way you will learn about others. More than that you will discover more about yourself.

2. Keep faith in God, but prepare well for school exams. You won't probably get good grades because of prayers, but you might not fall sick on the exam day.

3. When you go in a group (cinema/hotel), always pay for yourself. This will avoid lot of conflicts later.

4. Read something every day - any subject, read.

5. Do not eat junk food. Do not.

6. When something is wrong, say so. Say 'I am sorry' with utmost sincereity. You might escape from punishments, perhaps.

7. Spend time talking with your mother, even if you are very busy.

8. Say good things about people. People like to hear good things. Be honest and say only if you mean it.

9. Eat breakfast. Once a day, in the morning (before 10am).

10. Spend some time in the garden / park.

11. Do NOT do anything 'for your friends'. If you do not wish to do something, no one can talk (blackmail) you into doing that.

12. Go to bed early and rise early. You will get more of every day.

13. You don't need to worry about anything. If something is not in your control, there is no use worrying about it. If something is in your control, then control it. No use worrying over anything. Anything.

And the most important tip that she told me about living longer (more than 100 years, perhaps). It's about what you eat and how you eat.

14. 'Carefully choose what you eat. If your body doesn't accept, do not try to stuff it in. Eat what your body can cope up with. Do not eat in large quantities just because you like the taste.'

Doing an Astrology Check

2008-11-20T21:42:00.001+10:30

When do you go to an astrologer? Yes, the one who predicts what's coming to your life. When you are confused, when you are presented with two equally-good choices, when you are tired and stressed out or like when you are feeling exceptionally curious.

I have decided to get a sneak preview of what's going to come in my life by going to an astrologer. It doesn't matter what I am going to hear, good or bad things, I take them as such. I am not going to worry much about what's coming as I always encounter them when I face them.

I am not a big fan of 'Daily Horoscopes' but, skimming through a weekly, monthly and yearly predictions is what I enjoy (and forget).

If the predictions for my starsign (zodiac sign) is not good, I read all the others and choose the best one for myself.

I got the following report which describes my character based on my birth date and time. Let us do a check.

The most unique feature of a Kumbha (Aquarius) man is his progressive nature. (Prediction)
Very true. For me, standing at one place is near to death. Progress is life. (My comment)

He has a liberal attitude to life allowing for give and take with a humane approach to all his actions.
Again, well said. I take a quite, liberal stand on an issue and listen to both sides of the argument. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone and believe a WIN-WIN situation is always possible.

He is a soft-hearted person accepting people as they are while arresting his judgement about them.
Yes, I do not pre-judge a person based on hearsay. I accept them as they are and my friends already know this. They can be themselves without worrying about me judging them.

He is likely to have a philosophical approach towards life, with a deep interest in meditation and may quite often enjoy being in solitude musing about all aspect of life.
Philosphy? Sweet. I guess, there are only two kinds of people those who know there is a philosophical approach to life and those who are not aware of it yet. Meditation, thinking to myself in solitutude - just love it. But, I am not an anti-social person either.

His friends and dear ones may find it difficult to know and understand his actions or emotions as he is quiet secretive about his plans and actions.
Shh..yes, being secertive is pleasant. But, I have no adulterated unitention to upset anyone (No killer plans!).

He will be appreciated by many, & will win many loyalists due to his noble thoughts & deeds.
Mmm..I should ask my friends, fans and followers (!) if this statement is true. :-p

As he grows, he tends to improve his memory and the ability to resolve conflicts in his personal and professional life.
Spot on. I can diffuse any tense situation if called at the right moment.

He respects and takes his work seriously and will display his special skills at whatever he undertakes.
That's right. If I take up a work (or a hobby), there will be no mocking around. Either be the best or don't be there at all.

Finding a good friend and losing sleep

2008-11-11T13:33:00.001+10:30

I do not make friends easily. Maybe because, I had changed over 8
schools in 12 years, and I had to make friends quickly and forget them
too within a short period of time. Maybe I was an introvert for most
of my childhood; now I am getting better. I have very little friend
circle who are close. Of course, I have a very large shallow friend
circle (from blog/online networks). It doesn't mean that I ignore the
later group. When I am talking to a friend, I would try to be
attentive 100%. I won't even take any phone calls (unless someone is
dying on the other end). I have always wondered why we like some
people and not others. No, don't say that 'D' word.

When I get introduced to someone, I stay distant from them for a few
meet-ups. But, I don't know the exact moment when they become close
friends or not. Even I don't even know why some become close and
others. I have observed this even with my online/blog friends. There
is only handful of them I am in touch with. I really don't know why.

From my childhood, it has been like this. When I see a person who
attracts me, I won't have the courage to go and ask if they would be
interested in making me one of their friends. Instead, I just wish. I
wish that it would be nice if we become friends. Then after a period
(days/weeks/months), some mysterious reasons will put as together.
Then we become friends. Knowing that I got a friend with whom I wanted
friendship, I will lose my sleep with happiness. Recently, it happened
again. It was like rediscovering the good old, childhood.

Mm. Did you ask me who the friend is? Well, I could say that to you,
but you have not come closer to me. Yet.

Armchair Touring with Google Earth

2008-11-09T11:58:00.000+10:30

If you haven't seen the Street View on Google Earth, you were living in the dark for the last 1 year. It adds great value to the 2-D/3-D maps. You can look around 360 at an address on the road.

Even my home is clearly visible as we are on a highway.

View Larger Map

75% of major Australian highways and towns are covered by GE's street view.

What about India?