A Passionate Knitter

Tutorial 1.3 - following a pattern

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 10:32:00 +0000

FINALLY! sorry, was having computer problems so couldn't post sooner.

i hope everyone managed their swatch without ripping all of their hair out. it can be pretty difficult to start with, but it does get easier, so if you feel discouraged and like you just can't do it then just try to push that feeling aside and try again. my first project i ripped apart 5 times (if not more) and started over because i kept dropping stitches so i had gaping holes, i kept purling when i should have been knitting and knitting when i should have been purling. it was a mess! but the point wasn't that i messed up but that i kept starting over. it did take me about 4 months to finish my first scarf and it was just in time for the warm weather to roll around...but hey ho.

this pattern is very basic and will give you plenty of practice with the basic knit and purl stitch so if you make it to the end (no matter how many holes you have), it'll be a great achievement and you'll be able to move on to bigger and better.

reading a pattern:

patterns are written in abbreviations. it can read like another language if you aren't familiar with the abbreviations used. a lot of them you will see over and over and you will become very familiar with them, others only come with certain patterns so the author will usually define them before they start using them. below is the pattern that we will be following:

size:

one size

finished measurements:

3 in wide x 7 in long (7.5 cm x17.75 cm)

materials:

5mm straight needles

tapestry needle

(MC) - Bernat Satin Sport Yarn in Wine

(CC) - Bernat Satin Sport Yarn in Black

gauge:

20 st x 20 st = 4 st/inch in St st

pattern notes:

start by casting on to both needles so that row 1 is knit into a loose row. knit row 1 loosely as well, this will help when we attach both ends together using the kitchener stitch.

the kitchener stitch is a very advanced method of putting together two pieces that have separate ends so that they look like they are just one continuous piece. it is a headache for even the most experienced knitter, but isn't so much difficult as it just requires every ounce of concentration. if you do not wish to attempt this stitch then i will show you an easier method of putting both ends together.

this pattern can be done using one colour yarn or can be made with two different colours. i will show you both ways of doing this. knitting with two colours is a technique called intarsia. it is a step above beginner so only do it if you feel comfortable with the knitting and purling that you have done up to this stage.

pattern abbreviations:

MC - main colour

CC - contrasting colour

k - knit

p - purl

St st - stockinette stitch

st -stitch

CO - cast on

BO - bind off

RS - right side

WS - wrong side

directions:

CO 15 st in MC

Row 1 - Row 5 (RS) - k

Row 2 - Row 6 (WS) - p

your cast on row should look like this:

this is what your piece should look like after completing row 6:

**if you are using a CC then we will begin with it here. if you are not using a CC then please continue the above pattern of St st ending on Row 36, a WS row, or until your piece measures 7" or 17.75cm.**

to add a CC:

Row 7 - Row 11 (RS) - k in CC

Row 8 - Row 12 (WS) - p in CC

Row 13 - Row 17 (RS) - k in MC

Row 14 - Row 18 (WS) - p in MC

Row 19 - Row 23 (RS) - k in CC

Row 20 - Row 24 (WS) - p in CC

Row 25 - Row 29 (RS) - k in MC
Row 26 - Row 30 (WS) - p in MC
Row 31 - Row 35 (RS) - k in CC
Row 32 - Row 36 (WS) - p in CC

your piece should look like this:

finishing:
if you are going to finish using the kitchener stitch then keep all of your stitches on your needle and cut a tail on your yarn 3 times the width of your piece (about 9" long). now take your other needle and put it through the first row of stitches at the beginning of your piece.

like this:

then, following these instructions, join the two ends together. you may have to adjust the stitched after you've finished, but it should end up looking something like this:

when you've finished weave in all of the loose bits of yarn that are hanging off the side and cut off the excess. follow the below instructions on blocking.

if you have decided not to use the kitchener stitch then BO all your stitches and fold the two ends over together with the WS facing outwards. using your tapestry needle, sew the ends together.

like this:

turn it right side out. it should look like this:

weave in the ends that are hanging off everywhere and you're ready for blocking.

blocking:

blocking is what you do after you've finished any project. it gives you the finished look and makes your piece lay flat. your fabric will grow slightly, but it shouldn't be too drastic. there are different ways you can block and you should learn which ways are best for the material you are using. i tend to steam block everything because it's delicate enough for even the most delicate yarns but it's quick so it will finish your project quickly. and i'm impatient so this works for me.

to steam block, lay your armband out on an ironing board and pass your iron over it without actually touching it and hit your steam button. if you press the iron onto your yarn you will flatten your stitches and they'll go all floppy and funny looking so it's important that you don't do that. now remove the iron and stretch the fabric (gently) into the shape you want and then hold it down again and pass the iron over again. do this over and over until it's laying flat and in the shape you want.

YOU'RE FINISHED!

hope this all makes sense. sorry it took so long to write this up. these are my tutorials finished. if you are still interested in doing more or in learning how to troubleshoot some basic problems like picking up a dropped stitch or how to use your knit and purl stitch to make a pretty pattern then let me know and i'll do another set of tutorials. and remember, no matter how difficult this seems, it does get easier with practice. and the more mistakes you make, the better you'll get.

Tutorial 1.2 - knitting a swatch

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 09:41:00 +0000

i hope everyone had a merry christmas and has recovered some what.

assuming you now have your needles and yarn, we'll go ahead and start this tutorial with learning what you need to know to knit.

i'll start by warning you that these videos are pretty poor. not just because i'm not that great at explaining, but because i also have a really bad camera that doesn't really stay in focus and because i couldn't seem to get good lighting for most of them. after about 50 takes, though, i just gave up and decided that if you couldn't work out what i was doing then you could probably find thousands of really nice professional videos on youtube.com to get you through it. but i've left them on here so that if for no other reason, you can have a good laugh.

casting on:

to start any project you must first "cast on" (abbreviated CO). casting on is the act of getting your first set of stitches (abbreviated st) on to your needles. there are several different methods, but the basic one that gives a fairly elastic edge and works for most projects is called the double cast on method. the following video will show you how to do this (it's best to watch the whole video before trying to do it yourself):

now cast on 20 stitches (CO 20 st).

after you've CO, you will begin working your rows. every row in a pattern is numbered and then given a corresponding label of either wrong side (WS) or right side (RS), depending on what side of the project you are knitting. WS refers to the side of the fabric that faces inwards and RS refers to the side that will face outwards. generally, the odd rows are the WS rows and the evens are the RS, but this isn't always the case so make sure you always check your pattern.

knit stitch:

there are only 2 stitches you will ever need to know, a knit stitch (abbreviated k) and a purl stitch (abbreviated p). all patterns are determined by the order or way you do these stitches.

we will start with the knit stitch:

Row 1 (RS): k 20 st

purl stitch:

the next row you will purl (p):

Row 2 (WS): p 20 st

now continue by following the below pattern:

Row3-Row 19 (RS): k 20 st

Row 4-Row 20 (WS): p 20 st

this means that for rows 3 to 19 you will knit all of the right side rows and for rows 4 to 20 you will purl all of the wrong side rows.

the above pattern is for stockinette stitch, the nice braided look that most sweaters have. it's fairly easy, just knit every other row and purl every other. another simple pattern is garter stitch, where you just knit every row to the end.

casting off/binding off:

you now need to get all of your stitches off of the needle in a way that keeps them from unravelling, this is binding off, or casting off stitches.

now bind off 20 stitches (BO 20 st).

now you've finished your swatch! so why have you done this? every time you start a project you need to knit a swatch using the yarn that you plan on knitting your piece in. this will let you know just how many stitches per inch your needle and yarn will yield, this is called your gauge. once you've knitted a swatch you'll need to lay it flat and lay a ruler or measuring tape over it from one end to the other and measure how many inches your swatch is. my swatch measures 4 inches across. since i have 20 stitches on my needle, that means i can get 5 stitches per inch (20÷4 =5). this means that if i want to knit a sweater that is 30 inches around then i'll have to cast on 150 stitches (30 x 5 = 150). if you have a fraction then try to round it to the nearest whole number. so if you have 4.25 stitches per inch then 30 x 4.25 = 127.5 st, so either CO 127 or 128 st, one stitch won't make that much difference. just make sure you round AFTER you've done the math or else you'll end up adding loads or missing out loads of stitches.

for our armband i'd say it should be about 3 inches wide so i would CO 15 st with the yarn and needles that i am using.

that's it for the second tutorial! the next tutorial we'll start with the pattern for our project and we'll start knitting our armband. hopefully, it won't take me so long next time because i won't be doing videos. damn that was hard work!

Tutorial 1.1 - my first ever knitting tutorial (yikes!) - the basics

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 23:09:00 +0000

okay, because i love to knit and because some people have said they want to learn, i've decided to try my hand at this teaching thing. before i go any further i feel i should put this disclaimer up, i could easily be the worst person for giving instruction.

i tend to skip important details when i'm explaining something i know, but i'm really really going to try to do the best i can at walking you through knitting your own beginner's project. however, it is impossible for me to sit here and go through everything there is to know about knitting, so if you are really keen and want to know other methods (like the continental style of knitting, because i use the english method) or how to do pom poms or something then i would recommend one of these great books:

Stitch 'n Bitch: A Knitter's Handbook, by Debbie Stoller

The Knitter's Handbook: Yarns, Needles, Stitches, Techniques, by Various

Domiknitrix, by Jennifer Stafford

i'm going to post these tutorials regularly (every day or 2) so that we can all go at a slow enough pace without losing interest (hopefully).

the project i've decided to do is a wrist band. it's very simple and will teach you the basics. it's also small enough so that you can hopefully finish it without getting bored. i think so many people start with a scarf and find that after 5 rows they just can't be bothered with it anymore.

here's a finished one:

an introduction to the basics:

every project you take on will require at least yarn, needles, scissors, ruler/measuring tape and a tapestry needle.

yarn:

yarn comes in loads of different "weights", that is thickness. they range from the lightest weight, called fingering or baby or 4-ply, then up to double knit (DK) or sport, then to worsted (or Aran), then up to the chunkies and extra chunkies. below is a picture of just a few weights, (top to bottom), double knit, extra chunky and 4-ply.

yarns also come in a range of fibers: acrylic, alpaca, cashmere, hemp, the list goes on, and what you use usually just depends on what you're planning to make. it has to be said that one of my pet peeves is that all yarn is referred to as wool when in fact wool is a type of fiber, just like hemp or polyester. i suppose it's like how back in texas we refer to ever fizzy drink as "coke" when coke is just a type of drink. still, it drives me mad!

when you are looking at yarn you'll notice every skein or ball or hank (that's the term for the wound up bit of prepackaged yarn that's sitting on the shop shelf) has a label that looks something like this:

on every label there are washing instructions (you can see at the top of this label), the weight and name (Rowan - Pure Wool DK - 50g on this one), the fiber contents (you can barely make it out cause my picture wasn't zoomed enough), the colour and dye lot and the recommended needle size and gauge. here's a better look at the latter:

depending on your region, needles are measured differently. in the US needles are assigned a number, but in the UK the majority of needles and patterns use mm measurements for their needles. on this label the suggested needle size is a US 6 or a UK 4mm (also called a UK 8, but i rarely find this measurement used in the UK). to the right of this you'll see a grid. this tells you your gauge, which we'll get into later when i discuss knitting a swatch.

needles:

so a little more about needles...there are 3 basic types of needles that you will knit on: straight needles (the purple ones in the picture below), circular needles (2 needles joined by a long bit of plastic cord) and double pointed needles (abbreviated dpn in patterns and are the bottom set of needles in the picture). needles are also made of different materials. i like aluminium because they're cheap and slide pretty easily, but you can also get really nice ones made of bamboo or really cheap plastic ones.

you are also able to buy more specific detail needles for your projects. in the photo below i've also included a cable knit needle (the one that looks crooked) and a crochet hook (good for adding nice trims).

for your first project i would recommend starting with a thicker acrylic DK yarn and a size 8 (5mm) straight needle. if you are going to knit the arm band you can get one or two colours. i will show you how to do it either way and it is completely up to you which way you choose to do it. knitting with 2 colours can be a little more challenging, but if you are like me you need a little challenge to keep your interest.

once you have your yarn and needles you are ready to start!

i'll give you a couple days to hunt these down and then i'll post the next tutorial on boxing day in the evening (that's the day after christmas for all you americans), when we'll learn the basics of knitting and how to knit a swatch to determine your gauge.

if you have questions about anything i've said above then please ask. if you're struggling with yarns and needles then i'm more than happy to help.

I hope every one has a wonderful Christmas and see you back here in a few days!

G's first 6 months

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Wed, 26 May 2010 10:42:00 +0000

my little girl will be 6 months tomorrow. at the risk of sounding cliché, the time has flown by. it's amazing to see how much she's grown and all the new skills she's learned. she is always taking everything in; always has since birth, and when she works something out i just feel so proud of her.

just a quick recap or her first 6 months:

we had the issues with establishing breastfeeeding, but once we had it down it was a wonderful bonding experience. she has always been a little booby monster and regularly fed every hour until she was about 3 months old.

after a week of crying and not wanting to sleep we discovered co-sleeping and have found it a lifesaver and a wonderful time to cuddle each other. there's nothing like waking up to my little girl's big gummy smiles.

at about 3 1/2 months we had our first roll from tummy to back, but we are still waiting for her to go from back to tummy. we don't get much tummy time anymore because she loves sitting up now, a skill that came at about 4 1/2 months. we also have lots of laughing now and nick and i are forever trying for it. it means we usually just dance around making loads of funny faces and putting on crazy voices; what we do for our babies.

the last 6 months have been so amazing, and again, i know it's cliche, but i just never thought it was possible to love somebody this way. everyone always told me that being a mother was an unmatched experience and they'd always go on about love like nothing else, but i just don't think it's anything that can be fully comprehended until you are actually on that side of the fence. my whole perspective on life has changed. i don't look at anything from my own eyes anymore, i look at everything from her eyes. if i do something, how will that affect her life? if something happens to me, how will she get on? all of my choices have gone from "would my mother be proud of me?" to "would my daughter be proud of me?"

so here are a few pictures of my little girl growing over the last 6 months:

...and i thought labour would be the hardest part

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 10:12:00 +0000

gracie is going to be 8 weeks on friday and i just can't believe it. it's amazing how each week she grows and how in that time our relationship grows and changes.

i thought that giving birth was going to be the hardest part of having gracie, but over the last 8 weeks i've found myself on a journey that i would consider to have been harder than any part of my labour ever was. that journey was establishing breastfeeding.

i'm not really sure what i expected but i think i was under the impression that babies were born being experts at breastfeeding. i'd been told so many times that it was a natural thing for them to do once they were born, but i guess what the midwives meant to say was that they are born with the rooting instinct, that's all. they aren't born knowing how to latch and most mothers are about as knowledgeable starting out as their newborn baby. i know i was!

when gracie was born the midwife present put her on my chest and she immediately fed. i was in such a world of my own, in awe of everything, and wasn't in anyway paying attention to how the midwife latched her on. a few hours later i tried it myself and gracie seemed to be feeding fine so i continued on with what i was doing. after a couple of hours of feeding my boobs began to hurt. this only continued to get worse. i'll spare you all the details, but i'll say that my nipples began to look like something straight out of a horror show. the pain that i felt every time gracie latched on made my toes curl under and my eyes want to roll back; it was excruciating! i had a nursery nurse from the hospital watch me latch her on and she was pleased and said it looked fine, but it wasn't until 1 week later that a visiting midwife told me i was doing it wrong and showed me the proper way of doing it. AH! what a revelation! or so i thought...

the midwife left and a couple of hours later i had to do it on my own. cue failure. it wasn't as easy as i'd thought. i struggled and struggled but i just knew that i wanted to do this so much for my little gracie that i just had to get myself through it. so i persevered with every feed and after 2 weeks of persevering we finally managed to work out our latch and my boobies started to look somewhat normal again. and what i learned from this was lesson #1: babies are NEVER born knowing how to breastfeed, it's a learning process for both mother and child. gracie didn't open her mouth perfectly to start with, sometimes it was a struggle to get her to open her mouth at all. she'd turn her head every which way except the right way, she'd squirm, she'd fight me, sometimes she'd finally open her mouth wide enough only to shove her own fist in it. and most times she'd just sit there and scream and scream for food and all i could do was sit there and cry and cry, feeling like such a failure, because i couldn't get her to just latch on to my boob. and 8 weeks on we still have some struggles and i'm sure there will always be bad latches, but i'm definitely more comfortable with it and i'm confident that gracie is too.

i also never realised just how often babies eat and how this could affect me, both physically and emotionally. to start with she fed constantly. and by constantly i mean we were probably attached to each other for 15 hours of the day. she even fed while i ate and while i slept. i felt like i didn't have a minute aside from feeding her and like i was just one big boob. i mentioned it to the nursery nurses and midwives and everyone said it was normal and that gracie was only trying to stimulate my supply in order to have enough milk in the future. she would eventually have shorter feeds and have them less often. a week into breastfeeding i bought a pump to help take the strain off of my sore nipples. BIG MISTAKE! at least, for me it was. i pumped and managed to get a little under 20ml. i panicked, was this really all i had in me? was this really all my little girl was getting to eat? no wonder she was always on me, she was starving! she wasn't getting near enough food and if i continued this way i'd surely starve her. this is the point where i nearly drove myself to the local tesco to buy formula. but i just couldn't bear the thought. i sat there crying again and thinking how i was such a failure and couldn't feed my little girl. my husband said we'd talk to the midwife and ask her advice. we did and it was then that i learned lesson #2: your child can never be replaced by a machine. my little girl was much more efficient than any machine ever would be and for this reason i should never assume that what i express is all that gracie is getting. never doubt mother nature, it's a perfect science. i may have to endure a 2 hour feed, but i now know that gracie is definitely getting fed; she's just a hungry little bugger and a growing girl and that 2 hours is fine by me...anyway, i get to stare at my babes the whole time she's there and admire her.

finally, lesson #3: there is nothing like being able to comfort your child in a way that no one else on earth can; it makes all the struggle worth it. for all the times i nearly quit i can now say that it only made me realise just how much i wanted this. i always knew that i wanted to breastfeed but had heard so many women who had gone before me say that they weren't able to. and i suppose i began to think that there was a chance i wouldn't be able to either. i didnt' know why, but i just didn't want to get my hopes up in case i too wasn't able to. i honestly thought to myself that it wasn't that big a deal so not to fuss too much over it. however, when i was sitting there with gracie in my arms screaming her lungs out and thinking i couldn't do it anymore and that that was it i was going to tesco to buy formula i felt an absolute horrible mother. i felt that i wasn't giving up on breastfeeding, i was giving up on gracie. and i FINALLY realised why so many women struggled with the decision of not having breastfed their baby, because it wasn't about failing at breastfeeding, it was about failing to be a good mother. and while i can say that breastfeeding does not equal being a good mother i will say that when i was at my lowest point i did equate these two together in my own mind and i'm glad i did because it got be through another dreadful feed and to a point where i can now look back and be proud of what we've accomplished and look forward and be happy about our journey ahead.

gracie passed out drunk with her milky mouth (how can a mother resist?):

My Birth Story

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 19:44:00 +0000

i should begin by saying, if you're squeemish or if you are easily embarrassed then don't read this because i'm going to be going into all the nasty gorry details.

it wasn't the birth i had planned for, but it ended up being much more amazing than i could've ever expected. nick and i had planned to have a water birth at home. we'd rented a birthing pool for the house, bought all of the necessary supplies and were ready and waiting from 38 weeks. at 40 weeks i was offered a stretch and sweep to try and get things moving and with my internal examination (Tuesday, Nov. 24) i was told that my cervix was still unfavourable and was only dilated 1 cm and baby was still not fully engaged. i felt this required serious action so i did a two day vigorous workout which included a few hours of walking and a few hours of bouncing on my birthing ball.

thursday morning i woke up about 2 am for the usual toilet break and found i'd lost my plug. the midwife had warned me that a stretch and sweep would give me this so i tried not to get myself too excited. i spent the next 24 hours with serious period cramps and with every trip to the toilet i lost more of my plug.

friday, nov 27th at 1:20 am i woke up with a horrific pain in my stomach that felt like i had to run to the toilet for a desperate poo so i tried to hurry out of bed as fast as my fat pregnant body would let me and i got as far as the bedroom door before feeling a warm liquid running between my legs. i don’t know why, but i immediately began to panic. i knew it was my waters and i knew what that meant, but i just went into absolute panic mode. i started shouting (in a weird hushed voice, so as not to wake my parents in the next room) at nick to get up. i start telling him my waters have broke and start freaking out that they’re going to ruin the floorboards and for him to get something to clean it up quick.

he managed to get me to calm down and go to the toilet. while in the toilet i had another sharp pain and realised that i was having contractions; it was a horrible dull tingly feeling that snuck up from my back and around my tummy. back in the living room we began tracking my contractions. they were tracking at about 5 minutes apart so we phoned the labour ward and told them that my water had broke and that i was having contractions and that i was scheduled for a home birth. a midwife, Mark, was sent out to assess me but upon taking my vitals noticed that my blood pressure was really high. actually, it was so high that he expressed his concern with my having a homebirth so we agreed we'd go into the hospital. he gave me a quick internal exam before we left the house and i was told i was 3-4 cm dilated and everything seemed favourable and ready to go; my contractions were also now 3 minutes apart.

nick and i threw our hospital bag (thankfully i was prepared for the scenario) into the car and off we went. i had about 4-5 contractions on the way over to the hospital and nick had to pull over each time cause it was too much to endure while driving. by the time we got to the hospital at about 6 am i was in serious pain. my contractions were a lot stronger and i immediately asked for gas & air, which they gave me straight away. i sat up on the table for about 2 hours just getting myself from one contraction to the next. it was fairly uneventful except for the constant indigestion from my thanksgiving meal i'd had about 12 hours prior. needless to say, i was pleased when i managed to chuck up 3 containers worth of turkey and dressing and dessert all over the place because at least i didn't have to feel that horrible sick feeling anymore.

i remember announcing to the staff and my husband at this point that the contractions didn't feel good, but once one had passed i felt a million bucks and like i could run a marathon. the midwife kinda chuckled and said, "well that's great," in his all knowing way. little did i know that within a few minutes i'd feel very different. my contractions got worse, as they do, and i was actually so exhausted that i wasn't even able to open my eyes between some contractions. i would have enough time during my 2-3 minute break to recover just in time for the next one to hit with full force.

at 8 am i was examined again and was told i was 8 cm dilated. it was then suggested that i take a trip to the toilet to see if i could empty my bladder. while on the toilet i had another contraction, this time without the gas & air and it was actually less painful than the ones i'd been feeling all morning so i told nick i wanted to sit on the toilet. he went and told the midwives and they found me a wheely toilet that i could sit on in my room. i actually had to take a picture so that i could remember it later:

i honestly felt like this saved me; it still hurt, but i felt less pain in my back. i spent the next 2 hours sitting on this toilet-chair thing. at this point one of my 2 midwives announced that she had to run to a meeting so she was going to leave us with the trainee. lol. this may seem like a terrifying situation to anyone else but this trainee was amazing and i'd not even noticed she was a trainee until this point when i was told. also, i could've cared less who was there; i was in a world of my own by this point.

it was about 10 am and nick and i were the only ones left in the room and it was about this time that i began to feel a couple of really really strong contractions. the pressure down below was unimaginable and i was beginning to get that pushing urge that everyone had warned me about. a contraction hit and right in the middle i felt that urge but couldn't communicate through the pain so just started shouting, "PUSH!!! PUSH!!!" while trying with all my might not to push. when the contraction passed i panted at nick, "the next one i'm going to have to push." nick pushed the emergency button which called the trainee back in, but she seemed slightly panicked when we said that i was going to start pushing and the midwife still wasn't back from her meeting, but thank god she came into the room just then.

another comical moment that i was told later wast that the midwife asked that i get up on the table and at this moment i told her that i thought i'd poo'd in my little toilet chair and that i wanted her to check for me before i went to the bed. she was trying to be really nice and began reassuring me that these things happened and not to be embarrassed, yadda yadda yadda...to which i replied, "that's great but i'm not embarrassed, i just don't wish to be dropping poo from here to the bed and then smelling my own shit." lol.

anyway, they checked me and i was 10 cm dilated and they said i was now there and could begin pushing with my next contraction. i couldn't believe it. after all this it was time. they started readying a table with tools and it all hit me that i would be with my little one in just a short time.

i wanted to get back in my wheely toilet and off the table again but they wouldn't let me since they needed to be able to deliver baby. instead they started discussing changing the position of the bed and lo and behold they started shifting what could only be described as a transformer bed. it started making all these sounds and the bottom started dropping out of it and within seconds i was sitting in a chair with a hole that would leave me exposed for the baby to come out. i also had steel hand grips that came up from the sides for me to grip on to. it was the most amazing thing ever and gave me such a relief.

so with the next contractions i began to feel the need to push and i was pushing, but apparently i wasn't pushing hard enough and the midwife threatened to take the gas & air away. i just shook my head and then looked at nick while gritting my teeth on the gas mouthpiece and said, "don't you let them take it." they agreed that if i could focus and push then i could keep it. so i did. with the next contraction i bit down and pushed with all my might. it was actually a great feeling. it was probably the easiest part of my entire labour because for once i wasn't having to fight the pain i was able to just go with it and do the most natural thing that my body was telling me to do. about 3 good pushes later and i felt a gush of warm liquid and knew my baby was out.

the midwife announced we had a little girl and plopped her down on my chest and just like that the rest of the room disappeared. nick and i had a good long look at her and they got her breastfeeding right away. once her cord stopped beating they cut it and i began began my 3rd stage of labour, delivery of the placenta. i'll be honest, it's all a bit hazy after my gracie was born, but i can piece bits together and nick and the doctors have given me the rest of the details.

i remember there was a point when i was told that baby was going to go have cuddles with daddy in the corner and about this time a parade of people came into the room. i'd decided on a physiological delivery of my placenta without the syntocinon injection, however my body didn't react kindly to this decision. i began bleeding out and as a result was given they syntocinon shot anyway. i remember being turned around staring at my gracie in her daddy's arms and then feeling this really sharp pain in my leg like a really bad bee sting and shouting, "SHIT!" and then turning to the nurse that had just given the injection and telling her, "that hurt worse than the labour!!!" she didn't seem impressed, but i managed to get a laugh out of the rest of the room.

after loads of panic and running around, the midwives and nurses and doctors left and it seemed all had calmed down. i later found out i lost a liter of blood and this resulted in my spending a couple days in the hospital and having a transfusion to get me up to a safe level to go home. it was heartbreaking having to stay in the hospital away from my family and away from nicholas, but as everyone said it was for my own safety. i was in a pretty bad state, too. the whole of that friday was really hard for me. every little thing i did sent my body into shock. going to the bathroom left me trying to recover for at least 15 minutes. i felt horrible because i couldn't really pick up gracie since i was so weak and it terrified me that i'd pass out and drop her. i just got to stare at her and enjoy her being with her daddy. i did have a moment of fear when i realised i'd not had any bonding time, but that night at the hospital when it was just me and her we had some good cuddles and it was then that it hit me that she was my baby and i was her mommy.

despite the pain and blood loss, it was without question the most amazing experience of my life. i can't believe i actually did it! and i have the most amazing family to show for it.

delivery summary:

first stage - 8 hr 20 min

second stage - 30 min

third stage - 15 min

I had a spontaneous labour, 2nd degree tear and syntocinon for the 3rd stage due to a bleed out.

my wonderful midwives Theresa and Henrietta (Mark had already left):

2 more weeks?!?!?!?! can that be????

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 09:48:00 +0000

i woke up yesterday morning with the realisation that i only have a couple more weeks left before i'll be within two weeks of my due date, which means i could have baby at any time after! i kept thinking it's still october so i still have about a month, but i don't, in 2 weeks it'll be november and i'll have to be ready to go at any time. AHHHH!!!!!!

i'm so excited but i just don't know if i'm ready yet; oh well, i guess there's no stopping it now. i think i've grown a lot in the last couple weeks. i didn't think i had but i went to put on the largest t-shirt in my closet that i'd been wearing throughout my whole pregnancy and realised that it was getting a little tight :( . i suppose once you get this big you can't just look and tell you've been

growing, you can only feel more uncomfortable and heavier and sense your clothes getting more snug. i only have around 2 maternity tops i can wear now without exposing my belly and even

with those it's a constant battle of tugging to make sure they stay down.

nick and i have decided to use cloth diapers, or as they're called here 'real nappies'. i was going to try to make some myself because they looked pretty easy to make but it turns out they're not really. i made a couple but gave up and decided i'd wait until i bought some and then i'd try to use them as a pattern. i guess they aren't really that hard to make they're just tedious cause there's elastic and lining and all that and it just takes ages to make one. we have a nappy fair on the 31st of October that we're going to and i'm going to buy the bulk of the nappies there and bring them home and make some more.

here's a picture of the one that i did make and the liners that go with them:

and here's an up to date picture of me (34+4):

i should also mention that we've decided to go for a natural home birth in a birthing pool. i have to discuss it with the midwife this week and book in my risk assessment and rent a pool from the hospital. i'm really excited. every time i'd think of having the baby in the hospital i would tense up and i felt like i should because everyone kept saying so and because it's a hospital so it's supposed to be safer but after talking to people and assessing the risk and really analysing it i realised it's not really safer or better. if something happened at home the midwives would send me to the hospital anyway and as i'm only about 5 minutes from the hospital it wouldn't really be that much of a problem. i've been to the maternity ward here and it's not the nicest place to be and my fellow americans should keep in mind that it's not the same in our hospitals. we don't get private rooms, we aren't even guaranteed a room because of staffing and space issues (lack of them being the main issue). at least if i'm at home i know that i won't have to struggle with finding a bed or getting comfortable and i won't have to worry about relaxing afterwards in a room full of other people and their families and hundreds of screaming newborns.

knitting:

i have a few knitting projects on the go at the moment. i make plans to knit something for someone and then once i start them i think, "maybe i'll just knit them and see what i think and decide afterwards who they go to." my problem at the moment is deciding what to knit (if anything) for my mother in law. i know my mother will wear anything and i'm comfortable deciding her what she'll like, but i'm not sure about my mother in law and i'd hate to give her something she'd hate. we'll see...i'm going to finish the projects this week (or i should anyway) and then i'll block them and post pictures and you guys can help me decide.

32 weeks today!

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:17:00 +0000

we only have 8 more weeks to go to reach our due date. it's really starting to seem real now. the baby has become very lively in my tummy now. we almost have the nursery together and we're also nearly finished packing the hospital bag. that means we'll be completely ready for the baby if it decides to come at any time. and when i mean ready, i gotta say i don't think there's anything i can do to prepare myself for the labour so i'm as ready as i'm going to get.

i think i'm kind of getting sad that i'm not going to be pregnant any more. i've enjoyed having my little one growing inside me; it's just so miraculous! i can't get over all of the stuff that is going on in there. and although i want to meet my little baby already, the fact that 9 months has almost ended makes me feel like time is already flying by and i just want it to stop and i want to be pregnant for a little longer.

just for fun, here's 10 things about pregnancy that i've learned along the way:

1. you will literally feel your body morphing into a baby carrier - and most days it doesn't feel nice

2. people will decide that because you're pregnant they have the right to say the most tactless things to you like, "wow, you're massive!" or "your acne is getting noticeably worse," and they'll also decide that it's okay to tell you how to raise your child, "i sure hope you plan on breastfeeding," or my personal favourite, "do you really think it's responsible to go back to work so soon after???"

3. trying to fit into a bathroom stall in England should be deemed an olympic sport. there is no easy way to get in one without getting on to the toilet seat to close the door.

4. you don't actually save money on feminine products, you just have to buy different ones (and A LOT more of them!)

5. any money that you want to save for the baby will actually get spent way before the baby even gets here and it will most likely be spent on things like pedicures & waxing (because you can be sure you won't be able to take care of that stuff anymore), maternity clothes, feminine hygiene products, back supports, sleeping supports, and the list goes on...

6. getting in and out of a vehicle is enough to constitute exercise during pregnancy. if someone suggests anything more than walking up a flight of stairs for exercise then they've clearly never been pregnant!

7. whoever said that the 3rd trimester is the easiest has, again, never been pregnant!

8. not every woman's boobs get bigger, as a matter of fact, not only do some not grow, some shrink...rest assured that whatever you want you'll probably get the opposite. as i'm sure you're aware, mine have shrunk.

9. a full size bed (a.k.a. a double bed) is enough to fit one pregnant lady and all of her pillows; the husband will almost certainly be on the couch.

10. worry is the biggest symptom of pregnancy, worry about everything from accidentally eating the wrong thing to being a bad mother.

on the knitting front: there will be few knitting projects posted here between now and christmas since everything i'm working on will end up going to people as gifts. i'll have a couple of things i'll post, but i guess most of my blogging will be about the baby btwn now and then anyway.

we finished what will probably be our last project before baby: the paved path in the back garden. we really wanted to get this down before the horrible rainy winter came and the baby arrived. every winter the ground gets so sodden and you have to trek through it getting all muddy and mucky. we took up the paving stones that had been laid by the previous owners in some sort of patio that served no purpose other than to waste garden space. we moved them into the pathway and thanks to a very generous anniversary gift from the parents, we were able to buy the extra paving stones needed to finish the path. it looks like we did it ourselves and is kinda wonky, but we're hoping that once spring rolls around it'll look like it's been there forever. the grass is in a really bad state and needs some watering, something else that will come with the winter rain.

so i guess that's about it for now. next post will hopefully include nursery pictures! so excited!!!

more time for knitting...

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 11:41:00 +0000

well i've only got 6 good weeks left in me for temp work so i've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that i'm not going to be working before the baby comes. it'll put us in a bind financially and it will mean that i'll have to get a job straight after the baby is born, but there's nothing more that can be done about that.

i have to say that since losing my job i've been able to spend more time with my baby and i've had more time to think on my faith. i think that having had to deal with al of this crap lately i've learned what it really means to hand over control. i do still want to fight to fix things sometimes, but i've also realised that sometimes there is nothing i can do but just roll with it and let God manage it. i've also had such great support from the family and friends and hubby and it's made me really strong at a time in my life when i've really needed it - thanks you guys!

on the knitting front - i've been finishing projects that have been in my knitting bag for awhile. i finally finished my cloud bolero that i started a year ago. i ran out of yarn, but then when i got more yarn i still didn't finish it because i didn't have any time. i just finished it! yea! it's supposed to have some nice ribbon at the neckline to hold it closed, but i didn't have any so i've just left it.

i've also made a cute little matching hat to go with my Uggs for baby.

i'm about to finish up a cardigan that i started about 9 months ago. i have all of the pieces finished, but i just have to finish stitching it together so that it's all one piece. that'll be my next project and i should have that finished for the weekend. so new projects to start: i'm going to do a scarf for my father for his visit at christmas. i'm also thinking about starting some things up for christmas presents; stuff that will only take a couple months to complete. i've been really excited about all of the knitting i've been doing, i just wish that there were more hours in the day!

yea for babies!

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 12:47:00 +0000

well there's way too much updating for one post, but i'll give the basics.

life became hectic after my last post. work brought lots of drama and needless to say, i'm no longer working. there's a long story behind that one, but i'm not in a position to share any details at the moment.

on the baby front, things have been great! the pregnancy has been smooth sailing to date and we only have a couple months left. i'm currently 29 weeks and 5 days pregnant and feeling very very pregnant. the fourth/fifth month i started getting bigger and it was really difficult to associate my mirror reflection with myself. i found it really difficult to grasp that i was really the one with the big belly. I still don't really think that i'm that big until i see pictures of myself.

we've been working on the nursery and getting the house ready for the baby. i noticed on my last post that we were just starting to work on all of the house projects and since then we've managed to get just about everything done. there were a couple of things that i wanted to do, but because we are struggling with only having one income, we're putting those projects on hold. they weren't big projects anway, i was just hoping to get the hallway painted and the mirror hung (that's been propped against the wall for months now) and also to get another wardrobe for nicks' clothes before the family came. all of that is stuff we can live without for now.

we did get the nursery put together for the most part. We have the cot/crib (which will convert to a bed once baby gets older) and we managed to get the steps sanded and stained, as well as lay the new carpet. i just finished my lovely curtains today. we also bought a cheap chest of drawers off ebay to match the crib. Nick had some friends that were kind enough to give us some of their old baby stuff. we even have a stack of baby boy clothes - now we just need to see what sex the baby is. lol. i want to put the linens on the bed so that i can take a picture and post it, but it'll probably be a couple of weeks still.

i've also been catching up on my knitting since i have so much extra time to sit around the house. i found a really cute pattern for some Ugg booties for baby that i made almost immediately.

and here's a look at me and baby over the last few months:

from left to right it's 15 weeks, 17 weeks, 21 weeks, 24 weeks, 28 weeks. i guess i'll be huge before the 40th week hits!

home improvements pt.1

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:42:00 +0000

this weekend started off as soon as we left work on friday. we drove straight to B&Q, the home improvement store, and bought a cabinet unit for our kitchen. the kitchen that we have is still pretty new and we knew that it was a b&q kitchen, since most kitchens in this country are from b&q. anyway...just so happened they had ours in stock so we bought it, took it home and started the installation right away. well...like most do-it-yourself (diy) projects in our household, it's never an easy endeavor. after we got the whole unit together and slid it under the countertop we realised that the tile that was on the wall was adding an extra couple of cm to the wall so the cabinets weren't sitting flush. nick had to pull the tile off the wall but thankfully it wasn't too bad a task.

nick taking off the tile:

so finally we got the cabinet flush with the wall only to realise that it stuck out from the countertop. AHHH!!! so we finally managed to wedge it in there and then screw the fake wood panel thing (the bit that actually shows on the side) in place from the inside of the cupboard. you can't even tell that the cupboard is a new addition. it used to be an empty space under the countertop. it was an empty space for a dishwasher, but we had an undercounter freezer in there. we managed to sell the freezer unit on ebay for the exact cost of the cabinet unit. nice trade!

here's a pic of the unit next to the existing units:

That was our friday project. then saturday we had a bbq and sunday nick started sanding the steps in the nursery. there were only 2 steps, but they had about 5 layers of paint on them so they took a while. nick is finishing them up tonight and then we'll take the old manky carpet out and i'll stain the steps. we should hopefully be able to get some nice new (cheap) carpet in over the next few weeks and then i'll take some pictures for the blog.

also, here's a picture of me at 15 weeks pregnant. i'm still really tiny, but there's a little bit of a bump. i've not grown much over the week, but i keep reading that i'll grow alot before July. i'll take some more pictures further along.

please ignore the double chin...that seems to have come along with the pregnancy.

little chicky

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Tue, 26 May 2009 11:50:00 +0000

well it's been more than two months since i've posted anything and i guess it's because i've been pretty busy.

i went back home for a 2 week vacation, which was great. i've also spent every weekend doing one thing or another.

nick and i found out we are pregnant. i am now 15 weeks along, it's still very early. but here's a picture of the 3 month ultrasound:

nick said it looked a little bit like a chicken and i agreed so i've nicknamed it little chicky. look at the little skinny bent legs.

we've been trying to get the house ready. there were a lot of little projects that we kept putting off, but now we kind of have to do them because we won't be able to do them once the baby comes and they need to be done for the baby. we've decided to put an extra cabinet into the kitchen to make roomfor all of the extra baby stuff we'll be storing in the kitchen. the 3rd bedroom has been cleared out and we're going to finish the sanding on the steps leading into that room as well as replace the carpet. the carpet in there at the moment is so old and gross and we're sure it's full of nasties that we don't want near the baby.

we also bought a crib. once we get that room put together i'll post a picture of that.

i quit my job at blockbuster. it was just too much. especially with the first few weeks of my pregnancy; i was constantly exhausted and my legs and feet began to swell and cramp if i was on them for too long. now we have time to focus on the baby and eachother which is nice.

i'm not really sure what to do with my career once the baby comes around. i have a 1,001 thoughts going around in my head about what i should do and what i want to do and what i CAN do, i just need to sit down and figure it out. i keep postponing it, but once august rolls around i'll have to have reached a decision.

as far as knitting goes...well, i'm having issues located a yarn that i need to finish my cardi that i was working on. i'm about 75% through it, but i can't finish because i can't get anymore of the yarn i need. i'm still looking, though. it's out there somewhere I KNOW IT! i'm also starting up a scarf for my dad. i began working on it and it looks great, but i think i'm going to start over again with a smaller needle size, just to be difficult. i'm not that far into it anyway. i'll have to take pictures once i get further into it-i think it's going to look really nice.

anyway, that's about it for me. i'll keep you posted on the baby stuff. i'll try and write more frequently, but since things have started getting really hectic, it may be a couple of weeks.

what a predicament

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 12:23:00 +0000

yesterday was an interesting one...it started out like every other, it wasn't until about 4 p.m., when i was sat at my desk reading a small paragraph on a publication website that it all changed. i got that wierd numb feeling through my body and i thought...that paragraph sure seems familiar...hmmm...then it dawned on me. it was the exact same paragraph in one of my articles! now, i know what you're thinking, someone ripped off my article, but that would actually make me happy. instead, i've come to realise that my P.R. agency (who is heavily involved with said publication) ripped off the publications article! and then sold it to my company to use for our own marketing. now, usually i would be annoyed, only this discovery came a week after i sent this article to the exact same publication and asked them to run it in their publication! i felt totally embarrased! i mean, here i am sending a publication their own article saying it's "our" article and asking them to run it in their magazine!

so i was left with no other choice, i rang up my PR firm and asked them to explain it, which they couldn't because the woman that wrote it is out of the office until Monday. they could only assure me that there must've been a mix up. pshhh! damn straight!

so the rest of the evening i wondered around in absolute disbelief. i was on the treadmill at the gym and i just kept thinking, "why?!?!?!" it wasn't even the worlds best article! actually, when i got the article, i was SO disappointed that i actually considered sacking the agency based on their poor writing skills. and now to find out that it wasn't even their writing skills!

and in my usual Nelda ways (that's my mother), i found myself empathising with this poor lady that found herself desperate enough to plagerise. and what's worse is now i find myself with little choice but to sack them and refuse them £5000 worth of payment, because how could i ever trust what i was given from them? i can't honestly check out the legitimacy of every article they send me but the trust is gone, and i can't put our company at risk of looking foolish again. i tend to overthink things though and i've always believed that every action has a rippling effect and that by making a negative decision and, in this case firing our agency, i could create a rippling effect that would result in her losing her job, ending up in debt (i must mention she's pregnant). ahhh!!!!

well i have until monday to think about it cause i've got a call scheduled with her. until then, i'm desperately trying to write an article for this publication and i'm praying to God that i don't find myself in a position to want to plagerise.

blog ketchup

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:34:00 +0000

so i guess like my last email said, i am trying to live my life to the fullest, unfortunately this has meant i've not had much time for the blogging. so let me try and ketch-u-up on what's been going on.

following my last blogpost on the 12th of January, we found ourselves with a lodger for a month. actually in my last blogpost i mentioned i'd been out with friends and it was on that nite that one of my friends decided to try and hook up with some girl he'd met in the clubs and his girlfriend wasn't too happy about it. he decided to leave milton keynes where he was living with his g'friend and move back home, only because he had to give a months notice at blockbuster, he ended up homeless and staying at ours. it was fun having him around and i was sad to have him leave, but maybe we'll keep in touch.

i had some issues at work with not really enjoying the learning process that comes with having a new job, but i think i've finally figured it out and i'm starting to settle in nicely. i think the pressure of not knowing what i was doing was really weighing me down, and it was mainly coming from my boss, but we had a talk where i told him that it was making me unhappy and it's been better since then.

i've had to cut back on my blockbuster hours because my day job is so demanding, but i think the extra money from the day job compensates for less money at blockbuster. i don't want to quit all together cause i do really like it there; all of my friends are there.

i've been applying for my visa since October 31st and it's really starting to unnerve me the length of time it's taken to sort it out. we received a letter in February saying they needed more information from us. we have hopefully provided them with the documentation that they required and so i should be receiving my visa in the next few weeks. fingers X! i have a flight booked to the states for early April, but if i don't get my visa and passport back in time i'll have to reschedule. :o( im really missing texas, so i'm hoping i don't have to wait even longer!

our biggest news is that nick and i are going to try to start having a baby. i think the family pressure is finally starting to get to us and i think there was a little bit of pressure on ourselves. we've both wanted kids for a couple of years now, but there was just so much going on in our lives, with the deportation and then the getting on our feet again and then buying the house, it just seemed irresponsible to have a kid until now. and, really, i've always wanted to adopt and i've never really been all that crazy on having my own kids, but i spoke with an adoption agency about nick and i adopting and they seemed to think that it was bad news that we could have kids but wanted to adopt instead and they said that this would end be a stumbling block for us. after much upset, nick and i decided to just have a kid and then try and adopt later on.

so...i guess that's about it. we are getting a new sofa in a few weeks, we're also getting our new lease car delivered to us at the end of march, so we should have an exciting month. i'm also having a bday on the 21st (i'm always happy to receive gifts so don't feel you need to hold back ;oP ). the 29 year mark is upsetting me some; i'll have to make the most out of my last year in my 20's. wow! i can't believe it! doesn't 30 mean that i'm officially a grown up??? :o(

with death comes life.

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 13:47:00 +0000

it's been a while since i've written. i've had a lot to say, but for once in my life, no words to express it.

i lost my uncle saturday january 3, 2009. he was a great man. seeing how much of an impact my uncle had on the people he came into contact with and what an impact he made with his life, made me consider what i've done with myself. i didn't really like what i was confronted with. i suppose i've spent the last couple of years of my life lamenting my current geography, my lack of family, my lack of money, my frustration with working; i could go on and on.

i posted a blog not long back about making the most of yourself and doing it for Him. and i suppose i've tried very hard to do this; however, i've done it from a selfish perspective. i've tried to make the most of myself, but not necessarily the best of myself. i got up every morning and went to work and busied myself at my job, kept my head down, finished work, went home, did a few tasks around the house, watched some t.v. with the hubby and then went to bed around 11:00. this was my day. i did try to do as much as i could in one day and i tried to keep in mind that it was for Christ, but there were a lot of days that i was just pushing myself though it . if i was having a bad day and it got to about 8 p.m., i'd wonder if it was okay to just go to bed and hope for a better tomorrow; not considering that there's always a chance there won't be a tomorrow. i guess i lost sight of that important factor of actually "enjoying" my life and qualifying it. seeing the impact my uncle's death had on so many people made me wonder what impact i've had and i sadly think that, aside from the parents, husband and cousins, i've probably not made much of one.

i've put off having kids, despite really wanting too, because i worry about my career and what effect it will have on it, i dreaded the disappointment it would bring to my boss. i never bothered going anywhere or doing anything outta my comfort zone because i think, do i really need to go hang out with people i don't know? what difference is it going to make? well, saturday, despite a week long depression, i agreed to go out with my friends because i felt i needed to stop wasting my life. we had a great time and i even met a great girl that, maybe a week or two before would've just been another person i talked to on a night out, but because i decided i needed to shed the self pity and egotistical layers, i really enjoyed her company and am happy to say that i have made another friend. and the night wasn't without a near breakdown over my uncle, but all-in-all i feel better for having gone out and met new people. and this weekend we're having people over for a dinner party, despite my having to work saturday and sunday, because again, i would've once considered that a reason to spend my saturday evening layed out on my own on the couch.

and i hate that it took such a tragic event to wake me up, but i suppose that's what it took to get this self-absorbed, but perhaps now more self-aware person, to see what was truly important. again, a truly great man to have helped someone out even after he'd gone.

Riiiiii-cola!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:14:00 +0000

i'm hitting the ricola tablets. got a horribly sore throat and keep coughing; just in time for the family visit. i only have a day and a half left at work and i'm stressing, obviously not enough to keep me from blogging. i've just realised i have loads of stuff i want to say and i haven't been on here in a while.

the cowl still isn't finished. both haves have been done. just need to regraft them together as i messed it up the first time and second time...3rd's a charm. the stockings are nearly finished. should finish them both either tonight or tomorrow and have them up on the fireplace. just need to find some hooks. after the holidays i'll start a new project. found this one on the banana republic site and fell in love:

my new years resolution is to finish up the pink jumper that nick's gran gave me, so will have to get that back up and running. just need to finish the vneck so that it actually fits around my big fat stupid head. :o)

i've had a really good holiday thus far. i know it's only starting, but the secret santas have been good to me and the parties have been a blast. it will hopefully be a relaxing couple of weeks coming up and then i'll be ready to get back to work and actually do some good at this place. the frustration of the christmas holidays and the economic slump have really been a downer on the workfront.

well that's about it. here's a funny What the Duck for your reading pleasure!

christmas knits are...not????

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:33:00 +0000

i know i promised a blog by the end of the weekend, but what can i say, i got busy. really, i thought i'd finished a project, but in typical j'nel style, i managed to mess it up and am now having to take it apart, and as it is a christmas gift i've started to panic that it won't be done in time. you see, i need to start by first explaining the pattern. I'm knitting Gudrun Johnston's Crofter's Cowl which should look like this once finished:

the way it works is you knit two halves and then stitch them together in a very delicate way so that it looks seamless.

...but then I do it... i did my two halves and then went to stitch them together and after about 10 minutes and50 stitches I realised i'd knitted with the right (but incorrect) sides facing eachother. normally i would either just back knit or just rip a few lines. but as i was doing the kitchener stitch (i'll spare you the explanation) i had to do some very careful back knitting. it seems i wasn't careful enough though, because I now have some sort of tangle. AHHHH!!!!! how it frustrates me so!!!!!!!!!

well here's a pic of my pattern:

and here's a pic of my tangly mess between the two halves:

that aside. i've decided to knit our stockings this year. i'm only knitting the fronts and sewing fabric backs on, because i don't have much time to knit two stockings. Here's half of mine:

jackie seems intrigued. i'm going to put a creamy white furry top on it and then sew some fabric to the back; i still don't know what fabric, i'll have to have a dig through my scraps. nick's will be next. should finish mine wednesday or thursday and then start his over the weekend. god knows when i'll finish the cowl or if i even will. whatever, i'm sure christmas won't be ruined if i don't.

Happy Thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 12:55:00 +0000

so, i'm sat here trying to be positive. i miss the family and it's my first thanksgiving without americans. :( Even when i lived here back in 2000 i had the americans in the area that i celebrated with. i don't want to be an ungrateful person, but it's so not any fun being away from the family on days like this. on to trying to think of things that i should be thankful for : i have a husband that loves me, 2 cats that love me so much it annoys me sometimes, a great family that i know is also missing me today, a job (when most people are getting laid off) and a house to putter around in.

nick and i bought some little chickens to cook. i had a hard time buying them, and i may have a hard time eating them cause they are just so tiny and cute. not that a big turkey deserves to be eaten, but i think that's just me being silly about eating meat. i have my fazes. i'm also going to make my wellita's stuffing recipe and we got some predone mash (cause we can't make everything in an hour). i think all of that should suffice. OH! and cranberries. nick bought the fancy kind. i'll miss the horrible processed canned one that we have back home, but i think i'll probably enjoy the fancy stuff much more! ;P

i'll let you know how it goes. i've just finished another knitting project, so hopefully i can take some pictures of that and post them. i know i've been saying i'd post stuff for a while, but i've been so busy i've not had time to do much. but i PROMISE i'll have something for you by the end of the weekend.

iTouch case

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 11:27:00 +0000

Nick won an iTouch from work and asked if i'd knit him a case, so i made him a simple little case (as was his request). I wanted to do something cool with it, but he wouldn't let me. anyway, i'll say i like it now that it's done, but it killed me to do something that was all one colour and had no pattern. i guess it's good to do things like that as quick knits that only take a few hours, otherwise i'd never finish it. like that sweater that i started last christmas that i still haven't finished!

Here's a pic of the case:

I'm almost finished with my purse that i've been carrying on with for weeks now. I only have 4 more rows to do and then i can stitch it together and do the trim on it. i've just been distracted with Fable 2 coming out. i'm going to go rent it again today and play it all tonight and tomorrow and then i'll have to return it again. i've found some new cool quick knits, one that i think will make a great christmas present and another that might make a great present for myself; i'll try to start those in the next couple days, too.

i've finally got a task at work. i'm working on a seminar that we are going to do early December and the organising of it has made me feel purposeful again. yea!

keep an eye out for more pictures. i think i have a couple more projects i'll be finishing soon.

I'm proud to be an American!

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 10:21:00 +0000

It’s absolutely surreal to think about it. My mind wonders off occasionally and then I notice I’m smiling and I think...this is great. *blissful sigh*

I was just reading an article on Time’s website and its incredible the impact of the outcome of this election. I mean, I always knew the importance of it, but it was never so real. I would sit around so stressed out about it sometimes just thinking how positive it would be for me, sitting here in little ole England, struggling in a recession that I don’t believe America has even fully realised and what this election could do for my financial position and the stress in my life, and how, if McCain ended up in office, I’d end up stressing for even longer about whether or not I could lose my job.

Like a devastating earthquake, you know it causes damage, but you never actually “realise” its impact until you are stood amidst the wreckage and witnessing it yourself. It’s the same with Obama winning the election. It’s surreal to now look around the world and watch EVERYONE hold up their head with pride for AMERICA and to know this has actually happened! For the last 2 years I’ve had to endure endless remarks about Bush (as if I was his best mate and had some control over his actions) and Americans in general. I hated people for it, but I was also ashamed that Bush had given us such a reputation. I know we elected this guy to office, but I hated people assuming we were stupid because of it. However, today I am so proud, and just typing that has made my eyes well up with tears. I see comments from fellow Americans on forums about how upset they are with the outcome of this election and I think, if only these people understood the gravity of Obama being elected. Look around the world, the Chinese are captured on film cheering (nearly as much as the Americans) and Kenyans are parading the streets. Then to talk to one of my co-workers and have her say to me that she was so happy to feel a sense of hope when she turned on her t.v. this morning. She said she felt relief at the thought that (the English) may actually have a chance of making it out of this stupid recession sooner rather than later. It may seem like a loss for nearly half of all Americans today, but I just want to say that it has been a huge victory for, not just the other half of Americans, but for the rest of the world.

And again, I’ll throw in my favourite quote of all time, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” Jeremiah 29:11. I turn to this quote every time I feel doubt or every time I feel I can’t take it anymore. If you doubt this outcome and if you doubt Obama, know that God has a plan and that even if he ends up being as crap as the president that came before him, it is God’s will and it is in his hands now. We won’t be alone this time. Today in history, the world has been united and standing on this side of God’s Earth, listening to what everyone else is saying about my great country, just makes me so happy and proud.

the thorpe hat is FINITO!

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 23:41:00 +0000

well it's late and i'm about to go to sleep, but nick has tomorrow and tuesday off and it's hard to go to sleep when there's stuff going on around me more exciting than sleeping. that's one of those childish things i've never grown out of; i don't like missing things. it's the same reason why i hate to go to the bathroom. like a 5 yr old kid, i'd rather wee myself than go to the toilet for fear of missing something exciting.

anyway, the reason i'm blogging, is not to discuss my childish tendencies, which i'm sure you're all familiar with, but to discuss my knitting. i've finished my thorpe hat! it's awesome, i love it! i want to wear it everywhere and i want to make many more, so if you want one, then let me know and i'll make you one. i was thinking about putting some skull and crossbones on the earflaps, or maybe stars or rainbows....something, i need to put something on the next one i make. i just can't be bothered to make hundreds for myself, i'd rather make one for someone else and make something cooler for myself. ha ha. :)

here are the pics:

i'll have to get them photoshoped, the do look a bit rubbish in thee pictures. that'll be my first project of the day tomorrow.

here's a pic of half of that purse i talked about before. i just need to do one more of these and then i can put em together with some handles and i'll have a pretty cool purse! burn this image of this ugly thing into your brain, because when the finished purse is up, you'll be surprised by it's beauty and how this mangled thing came out lookin so lurvly.

work has been alright. i'm settling in and i'm starting to feel a little better about most things. i think if i can make it to january, then i'll be good to go, it's just getting past this initial crap last quarter of 2008. no one really wants to deal with work and sales are never that great at this time of year; throw in a recession and it's definitely going to be a struggle. whatevs.

Tuesday's blues...

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:13:00 +0000

frustrations of having a new job: trying to figure out how the hell you're supposed to do your job when you don't really know what your job is. i'm so frustrated. i get to a point where i finally think i get what i'm supposed to be doing and i spend hours working on something only to find out that i'm not really supposed to be doing that at all. argh! and i know i have to listen to other people's opinions; i'm relying on everyone else's opinions at the moment, but at what point can i say, "i disagree" and it not sound totally out of order and uninformed? i don't know. i think i'm just going to sort myself out and keep my head down and wait for time to pass and hope that i figure it out before too long.

on the knitting front, i've almost finished one of my hats. i am working on the ear covers at the moment and i should be able to finish those tonight. i need to buy a crocheting kneedle to do the trim on the hat, but i think it may be the weekend before i can get around to that. i've included some pictures of what i've done so far. it looks kinda silly on the sides at the moment cause i have kneedles hanging out of them, but you get the idea. i want to do another one with stars on it. i think i may be addicted to hats. i've heard of this happening, i just didn't understand it. maybe it's cause i'd never done one before, but now i can see how the addiction can happen. they're just so easy and gratifying! i may try to use a pattern from my new knitting book and make a super cool hat with it. we'll see...

anyway, here are my pictures:

Ketchup!

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:59:00 +0000

well i've got 30 minutes to kill before nick picks me up from work, so i'm gonna do a little ketchup (as in catch up) on the blog.

i'm still working on that hat. i just restarted it for the 3rd time, so hopefully i'll get it done over the week. it really is an easy hat, despite my constant screwing up; i've even started a pink one, only now i have to go pick up some more pink yarn from the store in bicester to finish it, but i only have the earflaps left so it will take me 2 hours max to finish it (assuming i make no mistakes!)

i've started on a purse. i'll need to take a picture of the side that i finished. it looks horrible, but it's one of those things that comes together at the very end to look really nice, only till then you're discouraged from working on it due to it's ugly mangled pieces.

i've picked up more hours at blockbuster. i knew it would happen eventually, but i still tried to fight it. i'm going in tonight for a closing shift when i would much rather pass out on the sofa. the money issue is just that: an issue. all this talk of a recession is stressing me out for more reasons than just prices going up everywhere. i feel like i need to prove myself at work so that i don't get sacked as the last person hired. i know i can do a good job with the marketing, i just feel like people don't get my job sometimes and they expect to see immediate results. marketing is a process, not a task. it'll probably be january before i can make any real difference. i know people have faith in me; i just need to beat myself up constantly and this is one more scenario in which i get to do so. i must say, the job is good, though. it's a "usually" upbeat office. everyone is really friendly, the challenge is there and, best of all, i don't have to do any dishes at this place. :) can't beat that!

i've been slacking at the gym. i think my lack of food (for lack of money) and increased stress levels have left me extremely exhausted in the evenings and unable to force myself onto a treadmill. winter is also encrouching. i like it cause it means the holidays are coming 'round, but it also makes me sad cause the holidays remind me of family and being back in texas and...well...need i explain further. but bernie and my mom are coming to visit for christmas and that makes me super excited. i need to think of things to do while they're here, but whatever we do will need to meet a stingent list of requirements:

1. cheap or free
2. accessible to old men with hip problems
3. did i mention cheap or free yet???

i'm sure i'll think of something. well, that's about it for my life. like i said, i'll have to get a picture of my mangled purse bits up so that you can see what it looks like now and then when i get the finished picture up you can be surprised by how nice it actually looks finished!

another project frogged. this is getting silly, now.

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 09:45:00 +0000

well, let's see. i blogged a few weeks ago about my issue with frogging, well, it has happened again. and not just once, twice. i started this thorpe hat (see my last blog entry) and i finally figured out the dpn's and it was all good and then i had nick try it on and it was HUGE! i did way too many increases and so i had to take it apart several-and i do mean several rows. but i worked it out and i knitted furiously to where i started work on the brim of the cap and THEN...i realised i'd actually lost the starting point that i needed to make the pattern on the brim and the only way of finding the starting point is by taking it apart and starting all over again. *exasperated cry* and maybe there is another way of finding my starting point for the pattern, but if there is, i'm not clever enough to figure it out. and i did try counting stitches till my brain hurt and my eyes crossed and watered, but i just couldn't work it out. i think i finally brought myself around to the idea that i'm going to have to start it all over with. Nevermind, eh.

moving on, the new job is going well. i've been stressed cause i don't really know what the hell is going on, but i guess that's the case with any new job. really it's just a matter of time and research and just getting stuck in it all. i'm feeling better than i did last week, and it is kinda bizaare to think that i've only been here 2 weeks, so it's almost ridiculous for me to think that i'd be further along than i am, but you know me, always hard on myself.

anyway, it's time for me to get back to work so i'll write more later.

my first project with double pointed needles (dpn's)

noreply@blogger.com (J'Nel) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 21:58:00 +0000

well, the time finally came. i went out this last weekend and bought myself a pair of dpn's. i'd seen so many hat patterns that i've wanted to try, but just haven't had the needles, so i went and bought some. and, ONCE AGAIN, i didn't know what i was getting myself into; it wasn't until i was about to stab one of my eyes out with these darned things that i decided to google how the heck one is supposed to start the first few stitches on dpn's. at this point i realised i wasn't the only one at my wit's end! i suggest if you've never used these things...lock yourself in a quiet (very padded) room before starting. anyway. i've started it, and i'm so thrilled that i found it necessary to share my project. I'm starting the Thorpe Hat by Kirsten Kapur with a slight modification cause i'm not using chunky yarn and i'm on smaller needles, so i'll have to do a few more stitches to compensate. anyway, it's bed time now and i'm sad to have to leave my knitting till Friday (cause i have to work tuesday, wednesday and thursday night), but hopefully i'll get loads done over the weekend and i'll have more pics up next week!

this is what the double pointed needles look like (a little bit like a "tic-tac-toe" a.k.a. "noughts & crosses")

a close up: