This Real Job

That is a real Quote

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:18:10 -0500

Cry for me please. Cry for me and give me strength so I do not go insane listening to Melissa talk. I want to rip my ears off. Odama?! How can you not know our President’s name?! She must be a Republican.

"I think America is… like… doing so good. We have… like… totally elected..."

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:16:00 -0500

“I think America is… like… doing so good. We have… like… totally elected the first Arab man to the throne. And he is totally related to Saddam Hussein. I think we are … like… the most open minded country ever! Go Odama Hussein.”

- Melissa

Jaywalking Ticket?

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 12:14:37 -0500

I saw the police stop a kid walking to school today. The police then proceeded to give him a ticket for jaywalking. I couldn’t help but laugh at the kid’s misfortune. A Jaywalking ticket! The kid couldn’t have been older than 12, haha. My day of status update meetings and mindless keystrokes seems almost blissful in comparison.

Inauguration: America, Friend of all People

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 12:33:24 -0500

Obama has the power of oration. I always like hearing him speak. The Poet who spoke after Obama has significantly less skill in oration. Painfully less skill.

Obama mentioned that America is a friend of all people and all nations. I found that to be quite interesting because I have witnessed many people in America who hate most Americans.

Obama has a HUGE mountain to overcome. I think he has the capability to do it, and I am excited to be a part of what happens next.

Online Infidelity Service

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 17:43:42 -0500

Online Infidelity Service:

The simple fact that sites like this exist make me sad. People do not appreciate their relationships. People who don’t appreciate their relationships should not have relationships.

Internet Blocking

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 16:51:09 -0500

Sorry for the lack of posts, my company decided to block my blog. I have no idea why, it isn’t like this site is getting any hits. The handful of people that visit are mostly from other countries!

I had to call in a favor with one of the IT guys to get my site on the safe list. It almost seems like a waste. It still confuses me how some people can surf porn at work while I can’t even post relevant work related writing on the internets. The irony of the world never ceases to amaze me.

Status Update Meetings, WTF

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:29:00 -0500

I am now part of a recurring weekly status update meeting for a project I am working on. The first meeting was to go over what the meetings were and how they were going to function moving forward. The second meeting was a 45 minute recap of the first meeting and then a 5 min update on what actually happened in the week. Then we ended 10 minutes early so everyone could get to their next status update meeting without being late. Just so you all know, there was a serious lack of status updating at this meeting.

This is going to be the biggest waste of time in the world. My brain has already blocked this recurring meeting. I will go in body, never in mind.

Job Opening?

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 18:08:33 -0500

One of my good friends, let’s call him Steve in the spirit of anonyminity, just quit his job. Frankly, I didn’t think his job sounded too bad. His new job sounds great though! I am going to talk to him about getting myself a new job.

I HATE new years resolutions, but I think I am going to give myself a goal for this newest of years. I will get a new job before Spring time. A new job to usher in a fresh season. A fresh start at a fresh job in a fresh season. Sounds wonderful.

Christmas Holidays

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 11:57:43 -0500

I am back. Spending so long away from work gave me some good perspective about work and life.

Why am I working at a job I dislike? For the extra money they magically decided to pay me? No, because I am a pansy who is trying to take the easy way out. I am going to find a new job. I think I am going to start going to visit my friends who have great jobs.

Why am I so worried about how things are going with Ashley? She doesn’t work with me anymore. So what, I can still talk to her and try to grow a personal relationship that will make us both happy.

It is Christmas

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 13:44:12 -0500

It is Christmas, I sure hope none of my readers are expecting me to update for a bit. I have a lot of interesting things to discuss when I get back though. Prepare yourselves.

Ending on a High Note

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:23:39 -0500

I didn’t talk to Ashley much today, but when I did, I made it count. I walked to her desk (in person, a real conversation!) and told her that I wanted to take her out this weekend to celebrate. She agreed almost instantly and was smiling the whole time. What a good way to end the week!

I think that I am going to tell Ashley about my layoff plan. I figure that she might be able to give me some pointers, being freshly laid off and all. I MAY also tell her about this blog. She might think it is funny to read about my neurosis. Actually, I shouldn’t do that. I have written some pretty crazy things in here. I don’t think she needs to see this stuff yet. Yea, definitely not telling her about the blog.

New Layoff Plan

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:41:09 -0500

I have received a bit of feedback pushing me to continue trying to get laid off. I guess there is nothing holding me back anymore. My compensation package will be even better with my new raise. I have always been a sucker for peer pressure, so I guess I will formulate a new layoff plan.

Email me with layoff suggestions

Second Last Day with Ashley

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:44:28 -0500

It feels weird to type this. Ashley is the only friend I have ever had at this office. I am not sure if she even counts as a friend. She may be more than a friend. It is hard to believe she was only working here for less than two months. And that she is so hot. And that she actually likes me.

I went for coffee with her this morning (first time I have ever gone for coffee with another living person before!) and we talked about what she planned to do. She didn’t seem too upset about the layoff. She said that some of her friends offered to get her a position in an advertising agency that they worked at. It sounded glorious. Fun staff, awesome pay, nurturing work environment. The exact opposite of the mega faceless corporation where I work. Should I keep trying to get laid off?

Worst Possible Situation

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:38:29 -0500

This is the worst news. I did not expect this. Ashley is getting laid off. Just when things were going so well between us, she is leaving! This Friday is her last day. She got a three week package. I am completely envious and sad at the same time. After I found out that I was getting a raise I was a little bit happy since we would still be in the same office.

Now, I have two days to exist in her vicinity before I fade into just another memory from an office she is, no doubt, trying her best to forget.

What Just Happened

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:35:56 -0500

I don’t know what is going on. This is not right. Things did not go according to plan. I just got a raise. A big raise.

How could I have gotten a raise for slacking? How could I have gotten a raise when the company is in the middle of layoffs? How did I not get laid off?!

Should I be happy? I am making about 30% more than I was yesterday. I also got stock options (finally). I still hate my job though. More money doesn’t make people hate things less, it just makes it slightly more bearable… for now.

Spoke too Soon!

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:37:46 -0500

I spoke too soon! I just got a meeting request to talk to my boss after lunch. The meeting is called, “Career Discussion”.

It is severance package time! My weeks of carefully slacking and being a marginally bad employee are finally paying off!

Christmas Layoffs

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:36:10 -0500

There are only a few days left until Christmas and no one has been laid off yet. I am a bit confused. I thought layoffs would have been announced yesterday, but I was wrong. I am almost always wrong.

A Week of Emails

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:30:00 -0500

Ashley and I have been emailing all week. Our relationship has grown much faster than I ever would have guessed. Maybe I should be thanking Scott. His antics helped propel my relationship with Ashley to the next level. Maybe she felt pity on me. Frankly, I don’t mind the pity attention. I am not too proud to accept pity attention, ha.

I am enjoying the way things are going. I am not going to try to push anything. I am almost regretting trying to get laid off though. I don’t think the Marketing department is facing layoffs (why the most useless department isn’t getting laid off is beyond me). So I could have had more time to spend with Ashley. I guess we will have to grow our relationship outside the walls of this office. I wonder if she will be up for that? Maybe she is just looking for a work friend. Or maybe this is something more. I hope it is something more.

Weekend Plans

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:59:00 -0500

I met Ashley for supper this weekend. I was pretty excited for the night and it seems like she was to. We ended up going to a small local Italian place. It was fantastic. I am not going to tell you what it is called, so don’t even ask. I can’t risk people finding out where I work, just in case.

We had a nice long engrossing meal. Excellent conversation. A fair amount of wine. And what I thought was errant flirting. But I am not a flirting expert by any means, so that just may have been normal behavior between two friends out for dinner.

After dinner we walked to a park and found a bench to sit on for more talking. I think that night shattered my previous ‘longest conversation with a girl’ record.

While I walked her home she linked arms with me. I have never personally experienced this, but I have seen friends do this before. I didn’t think too much about it. Once we got to her house I did not know if I should kiss her or not. I bumbled the situation and made things pretty awkward. She laughed and kissed me on the cheek.

That was my weekend. I am just as confused as I was. It feels like she is interested in me, but that cannot possibly be right. I don’t want to get my hopes up. Am I being crazy? How could someone so amazing actually like me? Why do I keep asking these rhetorical questions to the void that is the Internet?

Christmas Music

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:53:00 -0500

I don’t usually listen to much Christmas music. A friend sent me the greatest album I have ever heard though. If you like Christmas and video games your life will be greatly improved by clicking on this link.

I have been listening for hours and it doesn’t get old! My favorite song title has got to be “Super Jingle Bros.”. Haha.

And in case you are wondering about Ashley, I am trying to collect my thoughts and understand what is going on. More posts to follow, I didn’t forget.