this second's obsession: dress on the dark side

Monday Amusements 6

2009-09-29T00:01:00.003+01:00

This is the most link-packed Monday Amusements Ever So Far because I have been saving these up for weeks and not posting them because it wasn't Monday whenever I remembered. D'oh. I actually had eighty bookmarks in my "Monday Amusements" folder. 80. Some had been posted before. Some are so out of date it would be silly to post them now. But the rest will follow, not all in this post, but spread out over the next few weeks. Oh yes, and it will be Tuesday here by the time I post this, minor details...

I have been learning:

How to make padded envelopes using reclaimed materials. I have loads of padded envelopes that my relatives give me for book swapping, but they get too battered eventually to re-use and I have to repair them. I think I could adapt this tutorial to re-use bubble wrap out of the envelopes when the paper's gotten too many holes in to just cover up with tape.

I've also read a couple of times How To: Wear a Headband and Not Look Dumb but I wore some seriously bad headbands in my younger youth and none of the headbands I own are as cool as the ones featured in this article.

I wish I had an extra pair of Dr Martens so that I could follow this tutorial to make a pair lace patterned. I have two pairs but one are purple and were my 17th birthday present and the other are plain black and need to stay that way to go with everything.

I have been attempting:

To feel like royalty whilst living in poverty with these tips from the Princess Portal (warning: lots of pink). See also these credit crunch fashion tips. I've finished my MA and am now trying to find a source of income and avoid spending any money if I can help it.

I have been longing to get my hands on:

The Gothic Charm School book!

I was an aspiring goth and avid reader of the Gothic Charm School website for most of my teenage years, though I never went further than dressing on the dark side. Mostly because I didn't know much about the music, and everyone I knew who was more goth than me really liked skulls. For a long time I hated skulls and thought they were really tacky. Then I moved on. A while ago I decided that they can be cute. In moderation. On other people. Sometimes I catch myself looking at a skull-adorned item and thinking it is lovely, but I haven't been able to convince myself that it could look okay actually on me yet. Anyway, I used to love reading the posts about club etiquette when I was far too young to go to a club and imagine what it would be like, and I learned a lot from The Lady of the Manners' advice to other teenagers struggling with parents and friends used to mainstream fashions. I cannot wait until I can get a copy for the book and devour it like the snarkling bookworm I am.

Whatever your subcultural alignment, if you are the merest bit non-mainstream, if you've ever had people ask you if you're wearing a costume when you're simply dressed the way you like to be, or have had teenagers shout abuse at you or confused relatives wonder when you're going to grow out of this "phase", Gothic Charm School has a lot to offer you. Here are a few of my favourite posts from the site:

Home for the Holidays -Or- Surviving Family Togetherness
Too Old To Be Goth - Revisited
Labels Really Aren’t Just For Clothes
and most recently, Of Goths Of Color

The Lady of the Manners has also made three YouTube videos so far if you prefer to take your learning in a moving picture form, here is the first one, What Is Goth?

See also under babygoth/dark-dressing essentials: the alt.gothic.fashion faq, only available through the Wayback Machine at the moment, it's gone down off the actual website for some reason.

I have been loving:

My jeggings. As well as skulls, I was also scared of prints up until recently. I thought they were invariably hideous. I also used to hate stripes and I resisted skinny jeans for ages and hated leggings for a long time as well. I used to wear the ones with stirrups as a kid (though I thought they were great fun at the time), can you blame me? But I am pleased to state that I am wearing a printed top right now with jeggings. Jeggings are jeans crossed with leggings via Topshop and they are a glorious invention. Imagine if skinny jeans were comfortable, soft and stretchy, and you'll be imagining jeggings. This is pretty much the first time I have ever admitted that something Topshop is good (on me). I still couldn't actually seriously look around that shop and try things on, I sent my mum and sister in to buy these for me after my sister got some and I thought they looked great then tried them on and loved them, because, like I say, they are like skinny jeans but comfortable.

I still can't stand footless tights though. What is the point? They're like a less warm version of tights and it frustrates me no end when I see what would have been lovely tights mutilated into those footless monsters. Bleh!

I have been planning:

To attend The Alternative Bring and Buy Sale (in London), the next is on the 6th of December and I am really hoping I have a source of income by then!

I am also going to the Zandra Rhodes talk at the V&A and to the Knitting and Stitching Show and to the Jump weekend from Spread the Word! I know, how am I paying for all this considering what I said about avoiding spending money above? I'm going with relatives to the first two and the last was such a bargain (£35 advance concessions for an evening plus full day of writing related stuff!) I spent most of my last bit of pay on it. I'm sure it will be worth the fact I now have to walk practically everywhere. Oyster card will be used in emergencies only (I topped it up the time before last I got paid).

Kittens:

Nora the Piano Cat, in tribute to my keyboard, which I put on and played today for the first time in months. I didn't play her for a long time as she got moved into a different room from her adapter and any ready plug sockets, and then I was in MA completing panic and had too little time to keep practising. The first thing I did was make her play the wedding march whilst I hugged her! NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE BE PARTED, my fingers have gotten so weak. I need to clear out my bedroom so that she can fit here with me.

Unsatisfied by these offerings? Check out:

How to have a burlesque party, Synthetic Dreads Tutorial, how to make a goth sunglasses case, the Make Lounge's latest workshop dates, the Feminism in London '09 event programme, and/or Chore Wars, the nerdiest (and therefore possibly the best) time-management system ever!

this pirate obsession

2009-09-19T22:52:00.004+01:00

Ahoy there me hearties! It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, one of the major holidays of the year! Ye other be Halloween, obviously.

I be very excited about this, though I be not dressin' like a pirate, or partyin' like a pirate. I be not drinkin' rum because I be slightly ill - it be suddenly very cold in these oceans known as ye British Isles. I be instead drinkin' ye 'grog' that be known to the landlubbers as Earl Grey. It be delicious.

I be practicing me pirate for ye last couple o'weeks, an' I be picking up ye plastic wall hook we be donated in ye shop yesterday and pretendin' it be a hook. Arrr. That be mildly amusin'.

Today, I be pretendin' that I be plannin' some burnin' and pillagin', arr? ARR! An' I be recievin' in me inbox ye Etsy Finds newsletter, an' I be findin' inspiration to be collectin' some pirate booty of me own. ARRR!

Firstly I be wantin' ye Grace O'Malley pirate hat, because it be purple an' I be ye most purple pirate that be known in ye seven seas. If ye be readin' this scroll regular, ye be knowing this. If ye be a former landlubber recently recruited to ye voyage, I be recommendin' ye be checkin' out ye archives. Yarrr? YARRRR! If ye be not a purple pirate, ye fancy black and gold tricorn be for ye.

Second, I be thinkin' that 'Marie Antoinette goes pirate' be a bonny look, so I be considerin' these hair combs. But when I be wantin' t'be a more subtle pirate, I be thinkin' ye piratical badge be most appropriate, arr. These be especially worth ye pieces of eight.

Pirates with style be readin' ye Pirate Clothing webpage and be dressin' accordingly, and be makin' sure ye be wearin' earrings. Ye be showin' off how good they be at huntin' treasure/fightin' rich landlubbers/pillagin' if ye be wearing ye pirate hair jewels. If ye pirate be also a steampunk, ye be likin' ye pendant. If ye be in a battle where ye be best pretending to be a privateer or a lawful sailor, ye be best keepin' ye love for ye sea subtle with ye dusk sailing czech glass ring.

If ye be a pirate that be good in the galley, be pesterin' ye captain to be plunderin' ye a pirate cupcake t-shirt. Ye be available in various designs an' be on stickers an' bags an' ye aprons. If ye be havin' a party on board ye ship, be not spendin' all ye gold on rum (though it be a good investment if ye be not wantin' t'voyage with angry pirates) , an' be obtainin' ye skull an' crossbones flags for ye cupcakes, an' be makin' sure no landlubbers or privateers be joinin' ye voyage with ye pirate invitations.

If ye be havin' ye small pirates, ye jolly roger hat be keepin' them warm on ye seven seas and ye knittin' needles be useful in case ye pistol be not loaded when ye be boarded by ye Royal Navy.

Arrrrrrrrr. What be ye doin' for ye International Talk Like a Pirate Day? Be ye not hearin' of it before? I should be makin' ye walk the plank...but I be too busy enjoying me 'grog'.

How To Donate To Charity Shops (an insider’s guide)

2009-09-15T21:21:00.005+01:00

After reading the title of this post, I'm sure most readers will be thinking 'I know how to do that, you get a bag, put donations in, and leave it to be collected or drop it off at the shop'. Well, prepare to be educated! I have been volunteering at a local charity shop for the last two months and I am going to tell you how you can put in a little extra time and thought and make your donations much more valuable to the shop you donate them to.

There is a lot of work for volunteers to do in charity shops – we have to sort donations, work at the till, put items out on display, price items, clean, organise, steam clothing, alphabetise books, and bag unsaleable items to be sold to recycling companies.

Sorting donations is always our top priority because we don’t have space to keep unsorted donations in bags, and we want to get the best things on the shop floor immediately, but unfortunately it is the most time consuming task. One afternoon I spent almost my whole four-hour shift sorting a couple of bags, whereas last week I spent the same amount of time steaming nearly two racks worth of clothes. As anyone who has ever volunteered or worked in a charity shop, or watched the first episode of Mary Queen of Charity Shops will know, we get some really crappy donations. Stuff that is useless, broken, unsellable. We also get some amazing, good quality donations, but they are often mixed in with the rubbish.

Obviously we appreciate all donations, pretty much everything we get will be sold, if not on the shop floor then to recycling companies, but if you want to help us maximise the profit made for our charities, there are a few, simple, not very time consuming things that you can do to reduce the time we have to spend sorting and otherwise dealing with items that cannot be sold.

1. Do the research

Make sure that the shop you are donating to actually accepts the items that you want to donate. My manager had to turn away a large donation of bed linen because we are a very small shop and don’t have the space to display it. Another charity shop in the same street as the one I volunteer in doesn’t take clothing donations as it is an even small shop than ours, they only take books, cassettes, CDs, records and bric a brac.

Most charity shops do not take electrical items, because they have to be tested by a qualified PAT tester before they can go on sale. The shop I volunteer at does take electrical items, because we have someone to test them for us. All you have to do to find out whether the shop can take electrical items is ask! If you don’t regularly pass by the store and they are part of a large charity with its own website, you can look up the charity online and there should be a section for stores that lists addresses and phone numbers.

There are also other items charity shops cannot sell, for example, anything that can be used as a weapon, which includes metal knitting needles! Here is the British Heart Foundation’s list. You are better off finding a new home for things that are in good condition but can't be sold in shops by using a local e-mail list or putting an ad in your local paper.

Charity shops also won’t sell games and puzzles with pieces missing, we have to check through before putting them out to make sure all the parts are there, so make it worth our while!

Charity shops usually have deals with rag collectors, and at the shop I work at, the vast majority of the items we can’t sell on the shop floor can still be sold to recycling companies, we very rarely throw anything away. But our shop seems to be a bit of a special case, on Mary Queen of Charity Shops one of the shops that was featured had to spend a lot of money having unsaleable items collected by the council and taken to landfill. If you don’t have time to ask, it is best not to donate unsaleable items – except clothes – and to put them in your own bins.

2. Inspect clothing

If the clothes have stains or holes you are not willing to repair yourself, or otherwise look very worn, charity shops won’t be able to put them on the shop floor, but they can sell them to a rag collector and make a few pennies per kg. You can save volunteers time sorting by putting them into a separate bag and writing “rags” on it. They will still check through it but it will be a lower priority.

Please make sure the clothes are clean. If they have any marks on them, even marks that are obviously not stains and would come out in the wash, they will probably end up in a rag bag. Very few charity shops have washing machines on the premises.

However, clothing donations don’t need to be ironed! Charity shops usually have irons, at least, in the shop I volunteer at we have a steamer. After being folded in the bag they will need to be ironed or steamed anyway, so don’t worry about making sure they are pressed.

3. Don’t think too small

Most charity shops don’t have the space to take large items, like furniture, on a regular basis, but often they can take one or two, just ask. The shop I volunteer at had a chair, several mirrors and a bookcase when I last went in.

Large organisations that run charity shops often have specialist shops that do take furniture. Check out their websites to see if there is a store near you. Here is Oxfam’s list.

4. Don’t think too big

One of our biggest sellers is jewellery! We have lots of bangles and 'karma beads' -remember how every teenage girl in the UK had those back in the early noughties? They’re taking over a charity shop near you right now!

Make sure any earrings you donate have backs, and if something is real gold or silver, write a note so staff can make sure that they price it accordingly, or let someone know when you hand it over.

There are a couple of baskets by the till at the shop we work at, and we fill them with little things like yo-yos and packs of cards and marbles and keyrings (and a few karma beads of course). People often pick up these items whilst they’re waiting.

Make sure they get to use in good condition and wrap them in a couple of bags or tissue paper, or put them in a box.

5. Have a look round whilst you’re in the shop!

Obviously if you’re donating using one of those sacks that get put through your doors and not visiting the store this is irrelevant, but if you are coming in, take a look round! Charity shops have loads of great stuff, the cardigan or scarf or hat of your dreams could be awaiting you!

Coming soon: How To Shop At Charity Shops/Thift Stores (an insider’s guide in three parts)

Between the Covers: Women's Magazines and their Readers, at The Women's Library

2009-08-06T12:51:00.007+01:00

Did you know the first women’s magazine was published in 1693? It was called The Ladies’ Mercury and was a spinoff from another periodical called The Athenian Mercury, which published the first advice columns. The Ladies’ Mercury was only published for four weeks, however, and every other women’s magazine was just as short lived until the Industrial Revolution.

As more and more factories opened in British cities, increasing numbers of working-class women chose not to enter domestic service, and work in factories instead, where the conditions were better. Middle-class women, whose families could not afford to pay their servants better, suddenly found themselves having to run households and do cleaning, cooking, and other domestic work themselves, things which they would have never been taught by their mothers. This is where women’s magazines took off – they were filled with advice and instructional articles aimed at these women to help them manage their new roles.

As increasing numbers of women became literate, the numbers of women’s magazines widened and the topics featured became more diverse. At The Women’s Library, a couple of weeks ago, I visited the current exhibition Between the Covers: Women’s Magazines and their Readers, and I saw examples of these early magazines: one for Christian women, with articles and columns mixed in with hymn lyrics and passages from the Bible; a couple of magazines for burgeoning feminists; magazines which featured recipes and maths problems within the same covers; magazines the size of large books; and flimsy pamphlets originally costing a fraction of a penny. There are also plenty of examples from the 20th and 21st centuries on display, including a wall featuring covers from every edition of Cosmopolitan published one month in 2008. This was really interesting – most of the front-cover models were white, some of their poses were eerily similar, and only three of the women were smiling. The only grin that looked genuine belonged to the woman on Cosmo Taiwan. Most of the headlines mentioned sex, and the more modestly the model was dressed, the more she stood out – there were a lot of dresses cut in a V to the navel that month!

I found this exhibition fascinating. It isn’t arranged chronologically; instead it is laid out in several sections, so you can compare magazines through the ages and their attitudes towards the lives of women, how they dealt with the need to feature advertisements, and how developments in technology have changed the way they are produced and read. It’s clear that in recent times adult women’s magazines have become a lot less political, although magazines for teenage girls have definitely improved – the first were entirely devoted to idolising pop stars and silly romantic stories such as ‘Love in the Launderette’.

As well as the magazines on display, there are several interactive features of this exhibition. You can listen to interviews with various women involved in publishing magazines today, play a game to see if you can guess the magazine from its headlines (I only got one right!), answer a ‘How Liberated Are You?’ quiz from a 1978 edition of Cosmopolitan, and watch Talking Magazines, a film featuring a range women from Tower Hamlets (a borough of London) talk about the magazines they read and how they feel about them. There is also a reading area stocked with magazines from the past and present, including a few handmade zines and foreign titles. The Women’s Library has an enormous collection of magazines, so although most of the items in the exhibition are behind glass, there are many more available in the reading room upstairs (free to join and use) that you can actually touch and properly read.

I really enjoyed visiting Between the Covers, I totally geeked out and spent hours going around and looking at everything. I would recommend it to everyone who has ever loved or hated a women’s magazine, and most especially to bloggers – lots of the questions this exhibition raises are relevant to us.

Readers who live in London, or who will be visiting before 29th August 2009, should definitely pop in and check this exhibition out. Entry is free, and The Women’s Library is a really lovely building. 14-18 year old women can also join a short course in MagaZine Making from 10th – 14th August.

I liked the review of Between the Covers at Uplift Magazine, check it out if you would like to read more opinion on this exhibition.

Glamorous Witches

2009-07-30T20:33:00.008+01:00

At the start of July, Wookey Hole Caves in Somerset, England, announced that they were looking for a new witch to live in their caves and entertain tourists, after their previous witch had retired. The new witch, they said, must be able to cackle, and must not be allergic to cats.

3,124 people applied, 278 suggested their mothers-in-law (nice), and 23 church groups sent letters of protest. 300 people made it to the auditions, video footage from them can be seen here, and here. The job was finally given to former estate agent Carole Bohanan, who has reinvented herself as family-friendly glamorous witch Carla Calamity. Picture here, interview video here, handover-of-the-broom ceremony here! Doesn't she look fabulous? Stripy tights, corset, gorgeous scarf, and that hat! Puts all my half-hearted witch costumes at Halloween to shame. I think I'll go as her this year!

Looking at her picture in another commuter's copy of the Metro last week, I started to think of all the variations of witch costume that I could, and then today I spent some time writing descriptions and when I felt inspired, putting outfits together on Polyvore. Perfect way to spend a Sunday!

Carla Calamity
Just add a stripy scarf and wind some tulle around a plain pointy hat. According to her Twitter, her corset is from Flitterbat, but I think you could create a similar look with several belts.

Designer Witch
This witch is the most powerful of all - she can magic herself up endless money and defend herself from would-be muggers. She doesn't wear a pointy hat - you can't get those in boutiques, but she does ride a broomstick - limousines are so last season, darling.

Charmed Witch

Just wear a pair of blue jeans and a fancy pastel-coloured top.

Hogwarts Witch
Charmed Knits has patterns for all the clothing you'd need to start the new term at Hogwarts. Sweaters, socks, scarves, hats, robes, even owls. I personally have no desire to have my own Hogwarts uniform, but I looked through it in the library and it seems like a really useful and fun book for those who do.

The Worst Witch

White shirt (grey for The New Worst Witch), pinafore, diagonally striped black & white tie, black tights, 'sensible' shoes.

Miss Hardbroom
Black cardigan or jacket zipped up to your chin, hair in a bun/Croydon facelift, dark red lipstick, scowl.

Fairy Witch

For those who can't make up their minds/think witches should have wings and glitter.

~~The Witches' Cat~~ The Cat That Owns The Witch*
The Designer Witch needs a well-dressed familiar, and I thought this post was rather lacking in purple up to this point.

*because of course, there's no such thing as a cat owner ;)

Can you think of any more variations on this theme? I thought about doing Polyvores for the witches from Hocus Pocus and Eglantine Price from Bedknobs and Broomsticks, but I don't own a copy of either film and I couldn't find any good pictures to work from.

Monday Amusements 5

2009-06-29T23:06:00.003+01:00

It is so hot today, it took a lot of effort to get myself to do any work. I kind of just wanted to lie on my bed reading the whole time, in close proximity to a fan. I keep reminding myself that it's not so bad, it's definitely hotter than last year, but nothing like Summers 2005 and 2006.

I've been learning:

How to make a burlesque bustle skirt. Just in case the days get longer and my need for sleep decreases and someone gives me a load of the right kind of fabric. Well, it could happen. I won't rule it out.

I've been contemplating the purchase of:

Every mini hat and fascinator sold by Accessorize. Don't go running to their website, the selection available online is severely limited. In stores, however...I was in there the other day looking for a new pair of sunglasses (I broke two pairs within the space of a fortnight just before it got bright enough for them to become really essential, sad times) and after I'd looked and was disappointed, I still had to wait for my sister to look at flip flops so I wandered over to check out the headwear. I tried most of them on and developed some serious crushes. My favourite features a mini black top hat with feathers and veil. Unfortunately I do not have a spare £20 that I absolutely cannot spend on anything else, so I had to put them all down and walk away.

I have been giggling at:

This poem on the subject of feminist pick-up lines. 'Your paradigm or mine?'

I agree with:

Everything in the article, The truth about writers. I can't explain how true it is or it would spoil the article for you.

And finally, kittens:

...on an exercise wheel.

How Not To Take A Daily Outfit Photo, or Why I Don't Post A Lot, or What I Wore, 17/6/2009

2009-06-17T20:35:00.008+01:00

I cannot take decent photographs of myself.

I am not convinced that I am going to fail at this forever, but in order to improve I definitely need professional coaching, or a brain upgrade. It may be just one of the Things I Cannot Do, like running, crochet, and strumming a guitar properly with the right hand.

I have only actually posted about two daily outfits on this blog before. I actually take photos of what I'm wearing fairly often. With the intention of making a post about them here. I'm in a good mood, I'm excited about what I'm wearing, and I take various photos in various poses from too-close distances without cleaning the lens or any mirrors involved, in bad light (today's example, see below). Every time I make a new mistake! I can have cleaned the mirror, only to have forgotten the lens. I can have started out trying to take photos on the stairs, as they have the best light in the house, only to have moved into my parents bedroom when I can't get a decent full-length picture, where the light is much worse.

I have several problems, none of which can be solved by the various "How To Take Outfit Photos" posts out there in the blogosphere:

The camera I use is really old. The batteries run out really quickly, so whenever I use it I am on a race against time. I also have to reset the self-timer for every photo, which eats into this time considerably.

This camera has no tripod, so I have to balance on it on various surfaces.

The other cameras are invariably either out or the batteries are low and I don't know where the chargers are.

There is basically nowhere in my house to balance the camera from far enough away.

I don't want to take pictures in my bedroom as it's a mess, but I don't think other people appreciate my taking photos all the time in their rooms. I usually take photos on the stairs. This is only good for closeups, and everytime I get a good looking one it involves far too much thigh than I am comfortable uploading!

I am really pale and absolutely cannot use flash. It makes me look scary.

There is no-one who will take photos of me for me.

In short, my outfit photos are crap. They will continue to be crap for the forseeable future. However, I would still like to talk about them, and I need to update this blog more. So I am going to try to bring myself to post what I can bear to (i.e. the photos where I look alright but the photo itself is dire), and as well as writing about the outfit, I will write about why the photos are bad and how you can avoid my innumerable failures!

Maybe, just maybe, I might improve. Maybe. Gigantic, huge, maybe.

What I Wore Today

I went to university for a couple of workshops (voice and creative writing), ate lunch number one (cheese and tomato sandwich) then I came home, made myself some soup for lunch number two (half a can of Heinz Minestrone + sweetcorn, cayenne pepper, black pepper, and mixed herbs) and watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, as research for my writing! I love that reading books and watching films and programmes about teenagers or with teenage characters counts as research for my writing and therefore my MA. If you know any good ones, recommend recommend recommend, in the comments of course.

To the left, an alright photo, parent's bedroom, you get the idea of the outfit. This is the stripy dress also pictured here, with a black skirt on top. Above, the bangles I wore. You can see them on the left of the other photo on my wrist too. Below, an image in profile, in which you can see the scarf, my watch, and the big ring I wore on the middle finger of my left hand.

Pictured:
Dress - Monsoon
Skirt - H&M via my sister's hand-me-ups
Tights - M&S, Autograph range
Scarf - hand-me-up from my sister that I think was original a gift from our parents, I have one in lilac
Bangles - some from The Changing World, some rescued from my sister's bin ages ago
Pictured but not visible on my rubbish photos:
A necklace that was a gift from a friend
Not pictured because I forgot about them:
Black cardigan, pink handbag, black ballet pumps

Why these photos are bad

Where to start? I'm spoilt for choice, really. They all came out too dark, so I had to turn up the brightness and contrast. My head is cut off in one and in profile in another, which is not a position in which I look good. The closeups are blurred - the bangles picture is one of the better ones. I thought flash would make them look too different from the body pics.

Things Learned From Today's Misadventures

Make sure you have good light! Charge your camera BEFORE you want to take photos, so that you manage to take them before the Earth moves you out of reach of enough sunlight.

Find a good surface to balance your camera on!

Use flash for close-ups if you have a shaky hand.

I may have to add "photographic ability and willingness to use it taking photos of me in outfits I like" to my list of desirable qualities in a potential romantic partner.

Some Posts I May Have To Memorise...and then feel sad because 70% of the advice I cannot follow

Take Better Outfit Photos @ Modlife

How To Take Gorgeous Self Portraits @ Independent Fashion Bloggers

Thank you for enduring this! If you have any thoughts on how I might overcome my outfit photo issues, please leave a comment, it will be much appreciated!

Three Good 'Beauty Tips' - and one that doesn't work

2009-05-25T14:09:00.004+01:00

1. This lip scrub will make your lips look like you've been kissing someone for at least an hour. Leave out the cinnamon and they'll just be smooth, but don't go overboard with the salt or you'll make it too harsh. Also, olive oil tastes a whole lot better than Vaseline, but is runnier so harder to work with.

2. Base coat under dark nail varnish is a must, otherwise your nails will suffer. If you have no base coat, use one of those bland pastel shades that was a gift from someone who doesn't know you very well. All the real base coats I've tried have gone gloopy by the time I've gone through half the bottle. Granted, all the real base coats I've tried were from Rimmel, a fairly cheap brand who don't deign to put ball bearings in their bottles to help the mixture properly mix when you shake the bottle. I am currently using a bright sub-Barbie pink as my base coat, it is from Del Sol, a brand who don't put two of the bad-for-you chemicals nail varnish often contains into their product (toluene and formaldehyde), so I figured that although I hate the shade it would make good base coat. It shows through slightly sometimes which makes quite a cool effect, I think.

3. I have recently discovered that olive oil makes a great night moisturiser for my face - just a few drops and in the morning I have soft skin and no extra spots. Is there no end to the wonders of olive oil? From the OCM (oil cleansing method, get thyself to Google now) to salad dressing, it is great.

And the one that's never worked for me...

Lining the inner rim of your eyes with white eyeliner to make them look bigger/brighter. Firstly, it looks too obvious, and strange. Secondly, you can't really blend it to make it more subtle, the inner rim of your eye does not have that much space. Thirdly, it actually makes your eyes look kind of dirty by comparison. Fourthly, it's always gone weird and dribbled into my eye and aggravated my eyes so much I've had to take my contact lenses out, bathe my eye(s) and rinse the lenses. As long as I use a separate pencil for inner rim and don't use the same one I use on my eyelids (which you should do anyway), I've never had this problem with black eyeliner from the same brands. What does work is blue eyeliner on the inner rim. Again, I have to use that pencil only on the inner rim but it makes my eyes look brighter and whiter, plus it's a pretty unusual look.

Monday Amusements 4

2009-04-06T21:55:00.006+01:00

...and I return, diving into the blogosphere and surfing across the web in general (now it occurs to me: the metaphors do not blend well, how can one surf a web?*). These are the things keeping me amused on this Monday evening.

I am learning:
Time Management for Creative People, mustering up the self-discipline to get all that I want to get done, for at least a few days each week. One day I will be 100% organised, look out world!

I am adding to my wishlists:
Books recommended by Rie of Leaving Shangri-L.A. - actually I've been doing this for the past several weeks, working my way through the archives in my spare moments, justifying it as "research for my MA". It's a fabulous combination of lifestyle and book review blog and I am going to check out most of the books suggested. I've even been reminded of some books I'd read as a child but had forgotten the names of.

I am contemplating buying: A tutu from my favourite and only local vintage/second-hand/random shop, which is closing down at the end of this month. I've already bought a new-to-me ballgown for £18, and I will probably end up blowing my "entertainment" money for the next month in there when I make further visits. It's a short, but nicely fluffy pink confection and a friend of mine already picked one up in red. I've been referring to The Cocoa Guide To Tutus and looking at lots of pictures and stores online to help me decide whether I should get it. I think I will have to try it on with some of the skirts I would wear over it to be absolutely sure.

If you are not convinced that tutus are awesome, check out the Flickr pool for The Adventures of the Travelling Tutu, it should change your mind.

I am "awww"ing over: this picture of a fawn and bobcat snuggling! I love pictures of unlikely animal friends. Like these, and most of all these!

How are you beating the start-of-the-week blues?

*Answer: one cannot surf a web, at some point you would get stuck in it - which actually makes it an appropriate metaphor - whilst "surfing" the world wide web, one will eventually find something that they are interested in and get stuck into. I am such a nerd.

Last Minute Christmas Spirit

2008-12-24T23:18:00.015Z

Twas the night before Christmas

And I could no longer pretend
That it was still October
The year far from its end

If I'd been prepared I would be now in my bed
While visions of domestic bliss danced in my head
Mamma would be happy, and Papa so pleased
And the holidays would feel just like a breeze

I crept around trying not to make a clatter
I'd be embarrassed if anyone knew what was the matter
"I'm too old for this," I'd cried, "The magic is gone"
But in my heart, I knew I was wrong

I dug out my old tree; removed red and gold
The bedraggled remains from tinsel of old
Tied ribbons to the branches, draped paper underneath
I had no time to DIY a wreath

I was so hurried, I had to be quick
The thought of missing out made me quite sick
I cut paper snowflakes as I caught up on TV
For a few hours Twitter did without me

Now dashing, now dancing, prancing to the rhythm
Of free Christmas-themed music, that was a given
But I needed inspiration for my Yuletide craft
As I found it online, I happily laughed

"How silly I was, to believe it couldn't be done,
The season isn't over, and now I have won
My quick and cheap decorations cheerfully adorn my room
I have cleared away all my pre-Xmas gloom!"

It could be Christmas morning. Or the night before. Afternoon of. Boxing Day. Do not despair, you can still get into the Christmas spirit before it is too late. I speak from personal experience here.

Put Some Music On

Do it, right now. I recommend The Best Christmas Album In The World...Ever! but if you can't bring yourself to embrace the cheese and/or it's too late to obtain a copy of said CD, independent music is here for you. Filthy Little Angels have just made their most recent Xmas-themed compilation available to download, check it out here. They have been releasing a Xmas-themed free album every year for a while and you can find all the others, plus more non-seasonal music on this page. If that's not to your taste, look around, ask your friends, or don't bother with theming it, just turn up something you like so that you can boogie around and get in a celebratory mood.

Get Costumed

Wearing red and green together usually makes one look like one is celebrating Xmas, no matter what the time of year. Embrace this fact, dress up, then check yo' fine self out in mirrors as often as possible. If you don't own red and green clothing, try silver or at least grey instead. Get out those fairy wings, or make them now. Draw holly, Christmas pudding or present boxes on your face with eyeliner. Glitter is an absolute must.

Decorate

This is so easy. First, keep your music on or find yourself some Christmas telly to watch. I recommend that socalist masterpiece Mrs. Santa Claus (she helps child labourers and joins the women's suffrage movement! Brilliant!). Next get a pile of magazines. You don't have a pile of magazines? Junk mail will do, ditto newspapers, old wrapping paper, any kind of paper, but try to recycle, and printed matter will look more interesting. Cut out lots of circles of varying sizes, and then make paper snowflakes from them. Don't remember how to do it? Papersnowflakes.com has more information on them than you can shake a candy cane at. I blue-tacked mine on the corners of my bookshelf and on my mirrors, but try attaching them to banisters and sprinkling them over tables - they'd look especially nice over a plain tablecloth. You can make other shapes as well, and if you like paper chain tutorials are all over the internet, but I find the snowflakes more fun and more modern looking than traditional paper chains. Perhaps you could make a snowflake-chain!

If you have any tinsel, find something unexpected to wrap it around. Get out a tree if you've got one and decorate - failing that bring in a dry log and cover it with glitter and surround it with candles for a centre piece. You can even just tie bundles of twigs together with ribbon and hang them about. I have a mini plastic tree, which surprisingly requires some imagination to decorate - most decorations are too small. This year I tied on some blue ribbons that I saved from crackers last year, sprinkled on some bits of tinsel, wrapped a piece of lilac velvet around it, and topped it off with some butterfly hair clips I bought as a teenager. It makes the perfect fairytale tree.

A snowflake made from a ancient supermarket magazine (the chain no longer exists!) adorns my bookshelves. Tree wouldn't photograph well...will try again tomorrow!

Find A Reason

A reason to appreciate the holiday. If you're not religious, research the secular traditions of the season. Think of it as laughing in the face of the credit crunch, or as embracing your inner child. Or both at the same time. Maybe you can find joy in the fact that Xmas means a Doctor Who special, and/or in the excuse to eat parsnips - I certainly do. Only engage in this serious thinking after you have done the previous three things - it will be easier if you've already cheered yourself up. If you sit down to muse on the meaning of Christmas to you without already being a little bit excited, it'll be harder to get enthusiastic. Fake it til you make it, baby!

My sister's guitar gets into the spirit, and the card I made her sits beside it

Make Cards

Even if you don't actually use these 'til next year, it's still a fun activity. My sister and I made each other cards, here is mine. It's inspired by a tutorial in the e-book Stunning and Simple Seasonal Salutations: 10 Holiday Cards in Ten Steps or Less, which you can download for free, thanks to the lovely peeps at Artella.

Featuring 10 beautiful handmade cards, complete with photos and descriptive "how-to" instructions, showcasing a variety of techniques such as rubber stamping, collage, and innovative paper and mixed media arts. Download your copy here!

Make Gifts

Okay, so it's too late to make it to the shops, which leaves you with few options:
1. Gift certificates that can be e-mailed to the person
2. Make something

The first option you should be able to manage by yourself! A great collection of tutorials to help you craft Xmas gifts can be found at Sew, Mama, Sew! Here is the Handmade Holidays 2008 list.

But let's take a moment to be realistic. What can you make that is cheap, relatively quick, and created from, erm, ingredients that you actually have in your home? That's right. Food. Biscuits and cakes in particular. Check the contents of your cupboard, and return to the internet to get recipes.

If you have any spare notebooks, decorate them for emergency gifts, or offer your practical skills as presents, you can easily design and print or hand decorate vouchers for your own services. Bargain Queen Meg has more ideas.

Make Drinks

You in the mood yet? If so, great, top off the cheer with an appropriate tipple or two. If not, this should do the trick!

I love mulled wine. This is Delia's version, which I'm sure works very well, but personally I like to be a bit more experimental. Basically simmer for at least 20 minutes (I do it for longer so that I can taste-check) a combination of the following things: red wine, cinnamon (stick or ground), mixed spice, nutmeg, cloves, apple juice, orange juice, lemon juice, bits of the fruit instead of/as well as the juice. You can put water in as well if you want it to go further, and sugar if you like it sweet. I like to taste it as I go and add extra bits of anything I feel doesn't have a strong enough presence. You can top up the alcohol after it's done with gin or fruit liqueur, or alternatively you can use cranberry juice instead of red wine for a alcohol-free version. Or use cranberry juice and then add other alcohol once it's heated. But one of the greatest things about mulled wine is that you can use the most hideous 3 for £10 wine and simply add plenty of juice to water down the strong taste of cheap!

"The cards are made, and given away,
I think I deserve some mulled wine today"
Merrily I cried, after sampling this delight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Things I Love Thursday

2008-10-23T22:53:00.003+01:00

Jumping on the TILT bandwagon on my own blog, finally...with a crappy audio file!

You, beloved readers, or at least some of you, will be the first to experience the horrors of my voice let loose on the internet. Beware:

my deep voice
my accent
my tendency to 'um'
my computer's fan dying in the background
my low-quality microphone

Expect me to cover my love for:

Dragon Naturally Speaking standard version 4.01
my degree
H&M tights
the library
Lily Lolo
Ravelry

minor things I'll mention: my turquoise nail varnish, glitter from B Never Too Busy To Be Beautiful, daydreaming

Tangents I go off on include:

the GBP vs. the USD
the size of my desk
what the internet is made for
Myspace vs. Facebook

If you think you can handle all this bizarreness, go forth and download. Be glad I edited out the South London speak. Be relieved that this is probably the last time I ever record my voice and share it online.

zSHARE link

Monday Amusements 3

2008-10-13T22:03:00.003+01:00

Useful

Dahl nicely sums up the materials debate for shoes in Shoe Dilemma: Ethics, not Aesthetics. I've had this post bookmarked for a long time.

Kittens

Have you had a Kittenbreak today? I used to visit that website everyday when I was at school in Year 13. We were in a IT classroom for registration period so that we could work on our university application forms. I spent most of the time having a Kittenbreak and reading webcomics.

Shiny Things

guttersnipe yarn's skeins of handspun natural-fibre yarn are inspired by Halloween, steampunk, Sweeney Todd, music, graffiti, and whatever else their creator finds interesting. They are not generally so much shiny as creative and cuddly, but the steampunk yarns come with some shiny things - "accoutrements" - including keys, watch parts, and buttons, intended to be put into whatever the knitter creates. I have my eyes on a few of the skeins, I wonder if you can guess which ones ;)

dark red spiral mesh cap

2008-09-17T22:56:00.008+01:00

I knit this hat from a pattern in the book Domiknitrix. I bought the right weight yarn - aran - I checked on Ravelry. I got some Rowan Scottish Tweed in 013, from the sale bin at John Lewis Bluewater. It's this lovely dark red with flecks of other shades and the occasional blob of purple. I used the right size needles. I even checked the gauge! I often can't be arsed to check the gauge! I measured my head. I decided a small was the right size. I cast on. You can never really tell the size when you've just cast on. I did the picot band. I did a few rows of the hat body, and then I stopped.

It was clearly coming out too big. Damn. So I knit the rest of the hat, so that I could judge exactly how too big it was. I looped the thread through the cast-off part without cutting it, and I took this horribly blurred photo, so you too can see exactly how massive this hat came up.

It covered my nose and I could fit both fists inside it at the same time as my head. Bemused and amused, I took it off, pinched it about to see how much less fabric there needed to be, did the appropriate maths, and then frogged it. I left it a couple of days because I was feeling annoyed, then made sure I had plenty of episodes of I Should Be Writing on my mp3 player (I'm catching up on the archives), and cast-on, for attempt number two.

I am delighted to say that my maths did the trick perfectly! I took another horribly blurred photo to prove it!

I must learn how to use self-timer or remote control on the dSLR, so that I can show you decent photos that are not taken at arm's length. My camera has self-timer, but you have to put it on again after every picture and I can never be arsed to try it more than twice.

But isn't the hat cute? I love it! Nobody else in the blogosphere or on Ravelry has reported sizing issues with this pattern, so I will blame my small head and probable inability to accurately measure it. I will review the whole book once I've tried a few more patterns, but I really enjoyed this one and wanted to show you my work.

I wore it the day I finished it with this teal-green cardigan (Topshop via Red Cross shop), a black vest top, my grey and black striped skinny trousers (H&M), and a red bag. The only full outfit photos that got taken that day were in purikura booths, and I haven't been e-mailed them yet. When I do I will show you, or I may just wear that outfit again as it was hot!

Monday Amusements 2

2008-09-16T01:21:00.002+01:00

Okay, it's Tuesday here now, but as long as it's still Monday in some part of the world I will use my title - I like the assonance.

Useful

Do The Bustle! Ivy explains the bustle, and provides a guide to making your own version. I didn't know they were actually invented to stop 19th century women's skirts dragging on the ground - I couldn't wear them under a skirt as the curve of my back gives me too much of a natural bustle!

Kittens

The two talking cats. Yes, we're covering all the YouTube classics here!

Shiny Things

Champignons produce beautifully stenciled moleskine cahiers. I have promised myself one as soon as I need a new notebook - however I have accumulated so many that it make take me years to fill them, unless I learn to make my letters a lot wider all of a sudden (unlikely). In the meantime, I am considering treating myself to one of the cameo pendants instead.

Monday Amusements

2008-09-08T20:46:00.003+01:00

Useful

Seeing Life Through the Eyes of a Child, by Jill Allison Bryan at Creativity Portal.

I especially like the advice to turn 'your to-do list into your “I get to-do” list'. I started titling my to-do list "Adventures for..." and then the date, and it makes everything seem more fun.

Kittens

Kittens on a treadmill! This is so cute, and it makes me crack up laughing every time.

Shiny Things

Eclectic Eccentricity is my favourite jewellery e-store in the world. I own a necklace and a ring from there, which are really nice quality and fairly priced. I spend a lot of time going through the pages and adding things to my basket. The new Autumn/Winter 2008 range went up a few days ago, which contains more lovely shinies as usual. Subscribe to the newsletter and you'll get regular discount codes.

The sections in this post are inspired by a venty e-mail one of my friends sent me - she pleaded for things in the the last two categories to cheer her up.

Book Review: The Goddess Guide

2008-08-17T00:23:00.003+01:00

This book is beautiful. The cover is gorgeous, flocked velvet, which is really nice to stroke. It has a ribbon bookmark. If you buy this, I recommend the hardback version as half the fun would be lost in paperback, and it would also deteriorate faster. The best thing about this book is the way it looks, every page inside is a collage of wallpaper scraps, fabric, drawings, different typefaces, and photographs. It's aesthetically outstanding, very "arty".

The content of the book is less exciting. The Goddess Guide aims to teach you how to be a modern goddess and is split into sections governed by the various goddess types: style, beauty, travel, home, garden, food, having fun, joie de vivre, pillow talk, and g-spots.

Personally I am finding the goddess theme, one that pops up in beauty and style guides again and again, to be more than a little tired. I think it really wore out the moment Gillette announced that you can "reveal the goddess in you" by shaving your legs with their Venus razor. Nevertheless, I resisted the temptation to put the book down after reading about Gisele Scanlon's different goddess types, stroked the cover, and continued on.

The first three sections are the most substantial, and after those the rest seem disappointingly small. I found myself coming up with ideas for things that should have been covered in the later sections of this book, which was great for me because I can blog them later, but not so great for my impression of the book.

The worst part about this book is that it is for the most part, a shopping guide. A shopping guide published in 2006, so I can guarantee at least some of the info is out of date. It's a shopping guide for those with plenty of money. Globetrotters. There is also lots of name-dropping - if you hate that, avoid this. The book features products and corresponding interviews from minorly famous fashion people (MFFP), but Scanlon gushes over them adoringly, and forgets to ask them much that's interesting, so their pages look like elegantly designed sales pitches. The book is very much focused on its author, I'd describe it as an autobiographical shopping guide. There is a LOT of info on her orthodontic work! The Goddess Guide is pretty much a case of style over substance, basically a shopping guide with occasional anecdotes thrown in to make it more personal, but not enough to make it really charming and to have you willing to buy into the author's taste.

However, it is nowhere near as bad as How To Walk In High Heels, which remains the worst anything guide I have ever read. In short - it is not patronising, does not presume its readers are in any way incapable, does not contain bad attempts at humour, and it is well targeted to its audience - those with cash to splash. It has good international sections recurring throughout the book, and would be a great shopping guide if you have the money for the stuff Ms Scanlon talks about. The anecdotes are cute, my favourite being the one entitled 'Carousel'. It features some good advice on hoisery, coats, and tipping, and if you're into seeing snippets of the lives of MFFP, the short interviews will keep you interested in the book. It's also pretty global - there is a very slight UK bias, but Scanlon clearly travels all the time and this reflects that. If you never travel this book will not have as much value for you as it would for someone who does or is going to visit the cities Scanlon shops in.

The Goddess Guide is not worth buying if you want a book for yourself and you read this blog. Not that my blog is comprehensive by any stretch of the imagination, but if you read this you probably read a couple of dozen other fashion blogs as well, in which case, apart from the aesthetics, this book with be a disappointment in comparison to what you get online for free. All the advice it gives is available elsewhere if you want it and more detailed and regularly updated shopping infomation for various destinations can be found online. E.g. Gala's Guide To Melbourne, Gala's Guide To NYC, and Gilda's Guide To Tokyo...those are just the ones I could remember off the top of my head and searched the respective sites for!

I would recommend this most strongly to anyone who wants Sarah Michelle Gellar's teeth. Scanlon bought 'em, and goes into great detail about the procedures and prices involved in having her teeth transformed to SMG standards. If you need a gift for a conventionally girly friend with money to spend who doesn't read fashion blogs and travels to the big international cities a lot, this would be a good choice as the travel parts are the best. Anyone who really likes anecdotes mixed in with their shopping guides should pick this up, and if you want a pretty coffee table book, this would be a nice choice if you're not picky about substantial, useful content. If you collect interviews with Miss Piggy and/or Kermit the Frog, this book is also for you.

I Feel Validated As A Purple Person

2008-08-07T19:12:00.003+01:00

Yesterday I popped up to the town centre to visit the library and some shops. I travelled there and back by bus. After I got off on the way home, I crossed the road, heading towards home, and as I was just about to turn into my street, this blue car with a load of guys in it which had been speeding along slowed down to pass me.

As I watched one of the men lean out I thought "Oh cod, not again," and soothed my nerves and embarrassment with the Kill Bill-inspired fantasy I always have when someone catcalls me. It involves a purple catsuit, a samurai sword, and dead catcallers.

I anticipated to hear obscenities, or the classic shout of "goffick", well known to anyone in my area who ever wears black. I was totally unprepared for what did happen, and, pulled out of my fantasy, I could hardly believe my ears when he yelled at me, in a sort of urgent tone:

"PURPLE! PURPLE! PURPLE!"

My immediate reaction was to mutter "Wow! You know the names of colours! You can use your eyes!", but after I got home - having laughed all the way, it wasn't far - and had reported my story to my sister, her assembled friends, and my parents, I was truly overwhelmed.

Yelling at strangers in the street is rude whatever you're saying, and I didn't enjoy being shouted at, I never do. Yet I felt I felt like I'd been given top marks for a average effort. I was only wearing dark purple tights and a dark purple top. This was a smart purple outfit, not one of my wilder ensembles. It was like the time some boys at a bus stop hummed the Addams Family theme at me when I wasn't even dressed that gothily - all over again!

People in this area have such low standards for oddness. I miss living in New Cross.

Luckily, I will get to visit every week next year, because I got into do a Masters degree at Goldsmiths! That means, dear readers, that I don't have to find a full time job, so I will be able to blog as much as I used to again, and that from the third week of September, Art College Fashion Reports will be back, and better than ever. I will try to do them every week this time, but it all depends on the sartorial creativity of the new students. I hope they will not be disappointingly démodé!

Coming up on this second's obsession will be a book review, my holiday outfits, and recent wardrobe malfunctions.

I still can't really believe someone actually yelled "PURPLE!" at me. Three times.

Zoo8 Festival Fashion Report

2008-07-11T12:53:00.012+01:00

The Hives = awesome. My photographic skills = crap

Last weekend I went to the Zoo Thousand festival (Zoo8) which was as much of a mess as has been reported, I am afraid to say, I do feel like my money was somewhat wasted but I still had a good time. When I wasn't watching and listening to the few artists that actually turned up (ha! okay, most of them did turn up, but yeah...), I ate some food - smoothies and haloumi sandwiches being the highlights - and, naturally, checked out what people were wearing.

The Good:

There were lots of people with really fabulous wellies. I was jealous because although mine are from Juju (I was so excited to have wellies called "Juju", that being one of my many nicknames) and have this really cool orange and purple stripe lining, and they came in a matching box, and are very comfortable and fit well, being size 9s they are from the mens' range and because men are apparently supposed to have boring feet, they are plain black on the outside. Check 'em out. I remember just a few years back wellies only seemed to come in black or green, now you can even buy them in blue and red from the garden centre of all places! I checked the garden centre as part of my Mad Welly Hunt during the week before the festival and nearly got a navy blue pair but I wanted black to go with my planned outfits.

A selection of wonderful wellies:

I also noticed masses of stripy knee-high socks being worn, but unfortunately I don't think this is the beginnings of a trend as there were at least two stalls at the festival selling stripy knee-high socks so people were probably just buying them because the socks they bought got destroyed by the mud. I didn't get any because the brand they had comes in two sizes and they only stocked the smaller one and I already have one pair of purple-lilac striped socks in that size and they don't fit properly.

Also being worn were a lot of tutus from a stall called "Shut Up 'N' Dye" (I think), which weren't good as they were abused by being paired with horrendous slogan t-shirts (see below), but I did see a really gorgeous green silk skirt and purple cardigan on the stall - neither of which I could buy as I didn't have enough cash with me, sob - mixed amongst the rest of the stall's standard hippie-style clothes. Which shows you should never judge a stall by the stock out front! I also had a nice chat to the stallholder who had long, somewhat dreadlocked pink hair, and was disappointed to learn that grey hair can be hard to dye bright colours. I had been anticipating dying my hair purple when I go grey too. Maybe dying technology will have moved on by then! She complained that the end of her hair was still orange from an old dye job and wouldn't take the pink she tried to cover it up with so it didn't match and I said it was cool, like sunset hair, which she seemed really pleased with.

The Bad:

Idiots who didn't wear rain macs. No matter how stylin' your outfit is, it will not look good sopping wet and clinging to your skin/rest of your clothes.

There were some really, really, really, horrendous slogan t-shirts. These included such 'gems' as "WILL F*** FOR COKE" (even if it's true, why do you want to announce it to the world in black capitals on pink?) and "I'M A C***" (No, no you are not.). But the one that made me want to deliver a swift kick to the nether regions of the wearer the most was "I F***ED YOUR GIRLFRIEND" (No, you didn't.).
Things that t-shirt says about you as a person:
a) you are less of an a'hole than you want to be, which paradoxically makes you more of an a'hole
b) no one has ever cheated on their partner with you
c) any thinking person should avoid you.
Come on people. Most people seeing the t-shirt probably didn't even have a girlfriend, and if they did, they're not going to get all paranoid because of a t-shirt.

The Bizarre:

My friend Adele's SexyMac - a rain mac I believe she borrowed from her dad that proved strangely alluring to men on multiple occasions. I wrote a song/parody of 'SexyBack' by Justin Timberlake about it the other day, here is an excerpt:

I'm wearing the SexyMac; YEAH!
Them other ladies don't know how to act; YEAH!
You think it's special... what's covering my back; YEAH!
You look around and have a lust attack; YEAH!
(take it to the tents)

I'm a dirty babe
Sleeping in a tent and spending the day at the rave
My waterproof clothing makes you misbehave
No other coat or jacket can make you feel this way
(take it to the arena)

Come here boy, go ahead be gone with it
Admire my mac, go ahead be gone with it
VIP, showers don't work in it
SexyMac makes up, go ahead be gone with it
For the filth, go ahead be gone with it
Look at that hood, go ahead be gone with it
It makes you smile, go ahead be gone with it
Come here boy, go ahead be gone with it
And get your SexyMac on, go ahead be gone with it

Book Review: Yeah! I Made It Myself

2008-06-18T21:57:00.002+01:00

"But then I fell in love. It was on an August night in North London. The dizzy summer air smelt of petrol and fried onions, and the pavements were aglitter with glass from a smashed bus shelter. There was even a soundtrack: the sweet harmonies of sixties girl groups sha-la-la-ing from a stalled car, its radio blaring out the Ronettes. I came out of the Tube station, and everything in my world changed. The object of my affection? Was it a cool boy in old blue jeans and a handmade t-shirt, the neck sandpapered to give it that hand-me-down air? Or a girl in a thrifted fifties dress carrying a Snoopy lunch box as a handbag? Well, both, and neither. It was style that got my wholehearted attention."
- Eithne Farry, Yeah, I Made it Myself: DIY Fashion for the Not Very Domestic Goddess

The above paragraph is my favourite bit of this book. I keep re-reading it. I love the third sentence, it paints the backdrop of the ugly world that fashion has as its stage perfectly. It mirrors the moments when I started to want to get into fashion and style.

Fashion didn't exist in my world until I went to university. I bought teenage magazines when I was at school, but was more interested in drooling over the pretty make-up suggestions than in the clothes. I liked baggy jeans when I was in Year Twelve, then in Year Thirteen when the dress code changed to "smart" from "casual", my female friends and I devised a way of being comfortable and slightly alternative despite this horrifying dress code - we wore Doc Martens under our corduroy trousers and either the teachers never noticed that they weren't "smart shoes" or they didn't care. I wore t-shirts in Year 12, collared shirts with buttons in Year 13, vests underneath in the summer so that when in the sixth form area I could take the shirt off and be more comfortable. We weren't allowed to show our shoulders, presumably because we might accidentally seduce one of the 19 boys in our year.

When I went to Goldsmiths, I knew what to expect. Masses of pretty boys. One of the reasons I had wanted to go there was the great numbers of pretty boys. However, by the time I enrolled I'd found myself with a boyfriend. I only had lectures on two days a week. I didn't notice a thing until I moved into halls in January. Then I had plenty of time to stroll around the campus.

New Cross is an arty shithole. Wandering around in the constant stink of exhaust fumes, stepping over the glass on the pavement, avoiding the dirty-minded ticket touts, there was an old lady with bright blue hair, many eccentrically dressed students, and The Rubbish Fairy. I felt like the most boring-ly dressed person ever in the history of the earth, and I dressed even more boring than I did in Year 13, because now I could wear t-shirts again.

It was bad. So I got a new habit. I started buying hats. I'd knit myself one that Christmas and it had started a passion. Scarves too. Then I knit a plastic-bag-bag and got more compliments on them than I'd ever received on anything, ever, in the whole rest of my life. I used that bag every day and got at least one compliment every time. I discovered the greatness of the colour red thanks to having to wear it for The Vagina Monologues and realising that there is a shade to suit everyone.

It had begun. Three years of admiring College fashion. Sigh.

So anyway, back to the book. That paragraph gets me all excited every time. It's a good book for inspiration. It's funny. It's practical. The clothes have stories, which makes it interesting just to flip through. I think it's a good book for teenagers because of the tone, and for anyone who wants simple instructions for basic classic items, and projects that do not take long to complete.

I have three major criticisms. Firstly, there are no photos of the clothes actually on people, excluding the author photo at the back where she is wearing one of the dresses shown earlier without her. I think the idea is that you already know what an A-line dress looks like on, so you don't need a picture, but it would be nice to see how well Farry's instructions hold up. I have put loads of sewing books and knitting patterns down because their photographs look bad - if the example used to promote the book doesn't look right, how is it going to look good on me?

Secondly, it's technically limited. If you enjoy or have a talent for sewing, you would probably want to move onto something more advanced quickly. There are no patterns included, you have to work them out from the measurements given, which I find time-consuming and would much rather use a pattern.

Thirdly, there is a page on making adjustments to the measurements given for your size, but it is based on the UK standard sizes and doesn't give advice for those of us who might be making our own clothes because we don't fit the standard sizes in one way or another. This means that if I use this book to help me make anything, I am still dependent on my mum when it comes to fitting it to my lanky frame.

Yeah! I Made It Myself covers the basics of hand sewing and machine sewing, then has instructions for bags, skirts, dresses and various accessories. There is a chapter about customising clothes and one about knitting, and it ends with the humourous Epilogue, "How to make a draught excluder in the shape of a sausage dog in 17 weeks", which expresses the author's frustration at the crappy textiles classes she had at school. Mine weren't that bad although we never had as much time as 17 weeks!

I think this book is a decent all-rounder for those with an interest in creating clothes occasionally. It's inspiring and I love the the tone, however if you have more than a casual interest in sewing, you should check out something more advanced.

What I Wore, 27/5/2008

2008-06-10T20:08:00.007+01:00

Yes, this was last month. I was planning to take a whole load of daily outfit photos recently, but then I got ill. I'm recovering now but not at a high level of snappy dressing yet.

Necklace - purple Mardi Gras beads brought back from...some place...by my grandparents
Bracelet - jewellery counter in Debenhams, originally bought to wear with my dress at my school Leavers' Ball
Dress - Monsoon
Tights - Marks and Spencer
Slippers - The Disney Store (only place I can get slippers in my size!)

Unfortunately I took all my full-length photos and closeups of my make-up pointing the camera at the bathroom mirror...which I forgot to clean. The only clean part seems to be the bit I was pointing it at in the first photo above. I did get my sister to take some photos, but she, being arty-minded rather than blog-minded, just took a load of my legs and a couple of full length shots of my back.

Rule #3467 of Being A Fashion Blogger - CLEAN THE MIRROR BEFORE YOU TAKE PHOTOS

It is one of my favourite dresses, however, so I should be able to get a photo of the whole thing soon. Please, universe, let me remember to clean the mirror this time...

TV Review: Blood, Sweat and T-Shirts

2008-05-06T00:44:00.005+01:00

Blood, Sweat and T-Shirts is part reality TV show and part documentary, featuring six young British "fashion addicts" between the ages of 20-24 who have been taken to India to work in factories and cotton mills so that they (and we) will learn the truth about the conditions in which high street clothes are made. This programme is interesting, but you would have to have been burying your hand in the sand for years to be surprised by what this programme reveals about the clothing industry. It is not really shocking viewing for anyone who knows anything about how and where most clothing is made.

What is shocking is how ignorant, rude, and generally useless the group of young adults from Britain are. I've spent most of the episodes of Blood, Sweat and T-Shirts that I have seen so far shouting in frustration and shame. I am so embarrassed to be part of the same generation. They have definitely been burying their heads in the sand about this issue. Okay, Georgina and Mark haven't really said much about anything. Stacey is very bubbly and a bit silly. Amrita is alright, although she burst into massively inappropriate tears at the first factory. Tara has some respect for the work they have to do but she cried because the woman they stayed with in the first episode realised they were laughing at her house and confronted them about it (!!!).

But any redeeming qualities the others might have are completely negated by Richard.

Richard is 24, runs an ad agency and makes £50,000 a year. He starts the show as one of those "poor people are only poor because they're lazy" types, and spends the best part of the first two episodes moaning about how much more terrible it is for them (the group of British young adults) to be there than for the people who actually spend their lives in this way, because they're not used to it! Seriously! He goes around loudly insulting everything, and almost gets in a fight with an English-speaking Indian in the second episode because he's being so disrespectful. He doesn't start to realise until the end of the second episode that the reason the factory workers haven't gone to university et cetera is that they don't have the opportunity or money and they have families to feed, and only accepts this after a man at the factory explains it to him, repeatedly.

He also sewed sleeves of different sizes and a back and front that were different sizes together as one garment. How do you manage that?

Blood, Sweat and T-Shirts doesn't really try to push you into any conclusions about the clothing industry, and I'm not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, it is good that viewers are allowed to make up their own minds, on the other, the lack of commentary means that it focuses on the personalities of the British young adults rather than on the lives of the factory workers. I think it would have worked better with a smaller group.

Apart from horror at the young people of today - I'm only 21 myself, surely I shouldn't be yelling "These kids are so privileged and rude!" at the TV? - I've got one thing out of this series so far: that boycotting in this case is definitely not a good idea. The clothing producers in India would be even worse off without their jobs. I think that instead shoppers have got to do their research and buy brands that regulate the conditions in their factories more closely and pay living wages, and put pressure on companies to look after their workers better.

Programme details follow, but everyone, including those outside the UK, can also check out the BBC's new online fashion magazine, Thread. It's got a fair bit of useful info about ethical shopping and good explanations of terms and organisations, but for more on specific brands, check out Green Is The New Black.

Blood, Sweat and T-Shirts, BBC Three, third programme Tuesday 6th May 2008 at 9pm, fourth & final programme Tuesday 13th May 2008 at 9pm. First episode available to watch online on BBC iPlayer for 3 more hours, second episode for 4 more days. Clips also available on YouTube for UK viewers.

8 Random Things About Me

2008-05-03T18:14:00.003+01:00

Ashe Mischief tagged me to do this in December 2007, and I have only just gotten around to it. That's how busy I have been. But I am no longer busy, as

1. I handed in my last pieces of work for my degree on Monday. I'm done. Scary. But more blog posts will be done! Whoo!

2. I'm intolerant of onions, which is a pain when I'm trying to buy pasta sauce or going to eat at other people's houses.

3. Writing is my first love, but music is a close second. Every other day I get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and then practice piano before I do anything else.

4. Before purple, my favourite colour used to be yellow, which is really strange as they're opposite on the colour wheel and generally look terrible in combination.

5. I currently have twenty-three library books out. I am a member of two academic libraries, for my college and my university, and two public library systems, but I only have books from my college library and the two public library systems out at the moment.

6. I have fifty-three bottles of nail varnish. Not all of them are full size, but most of them are almost full. I keep them all in a ice-cream box that is a hideous shade of lime green, inside one of my cupboards.

7. I always forget about dirty mirrors when attempting to take daily outfit photos. I took one today but it came out really badly because of the mirror so I will have to try again later.

8. When I was a kid I wanted to be a witch when I grew up, but because all the ones I'd read about were evil, I decided I was going to be a fairy instead. Later I read a book with a good witch in it and went back to wanting to be a witch. I was fascinated by magic until I actually became a teenage witch, of the Wiccan variety, but after a couple of years I lost interest.

If you read this, consider yourself tagged, but you don't have to do it. I'm not going to hunt you down and force you to post your own!

Shoes Glorious Shoes

2008-04-12T23:21:00.004+01:00

I just updated Big Feet Big Problem - Shoe Shopping For The Outsize with a section devoted to all the wonderful custom-sized slippers and shoes that can be bought via Etsy. Go forth and enjoy!

Whilst searching through 4o-odd pages of shoes to find the custom-made ones, I discovered NDEUR Shoes, which feature handpainted designs. Wow. They paint on vintage shoes which I expect means standard sizes only but you can also send them your own shoes to be decorated, although it is still quite pricey - US$200! I think on my budget I'd rather give my sister £5, a brush and some shoe paint, and I probably would if shoes that fit me were more commonplace!

I also think these are lovely, and these Miss Bunny Skull Wedges and Heart and Sole Wedges are fantastically sweet and gothy, although I think anyone wearing them would need to follow the stripy tights guidelines, if they didn't want to look too baby batish!

Anyway, I'm going to return to lusting after these...

Top Five Craft Podcasts

2008-03-30T03:20:00.007+01:00

A note: thank you everyone who commented on the last post! At the moment there are six comments on the blog about it, and I got a couple of e-mails too. That's a new record for me and I'm really happy to get so much good feedback. People actually read my blog! Yay! It's especially nice as I am posting really sporadically at the moment thanks to the uni workload. I promise more posts, uni is winding down for me now so I should be back with a vengeance by the start of May. Whoo!

I like to listen to podcasts on the train. This involves never sitting by the window unless the carriage is really quiet - the sound from outside is really distracting, and risking blowing my own ears off when I walk into a quiet building and discover how loud I'd turned it up to make it audible over the noise of the train and the traffic. The podcasts I listen to can be divided into two categories: craft podcasts, and I Should Be Writing.

I have listened to a lot of craft podcasts over the last couple of years, at one point I think I was listening to every one that came out. However, the whole podcasting scene has since exploded and I can't keep up with all the new ones and have had to stop listening to some. So I've had to make podcast priorities, and out of the craft-related 'casts, these are the ones I'm still listening to and love. They are in reverse order, rated on how much I love them and how much I've got to catch up with them!

5. CraftSanity, by Jennifer Ackerman-Haywood

CraftSanity is basically an interview podcast. Each episode Jennifer interviews a crafter or artist about their work, life and feelings about art and craft in general. I love CraftSanity because the episodes are really long, and you really find out a lot about the crafter/artist in question. There are also projects posted for most of the episodes provided by the interviewee. My favourite episode is the interview with Violette Clark, it was so interesting and inspiring and quite funny.

I am pretty behind with CraftSanity, unfortunately, because each episode is so long and Jennifer is really productive!

4. CraftyPod, by Sister Diane

Episodes of Craftypod are either focused on one particular craft, or feature interviews. Sister Diane (of the Church of Craft, in case you're wondering), has covered loads of different crafts and featured masses of projects. I love CraftyPod, for the opposite reason to CraftSanity - the episodes are pretty short and sweet. I like to listen to all the episodes, even those about crafts I'm not interested in, just because they are interesting, but sometimes I listen to an episode relevant to a craft just before I'm about to start it to get me in the mood. I have done this at least twice with the ATC episode. This podcast is also really well edited - it's really smooth sounding and professional.

I am more up to date on CraftyPod than CraftSanity, I think I've got nine episodes to listen to before I'm all caught up.

3. Faery Knitting, by SpinningErin

I discovered this podcast yesterday. Seriously. I have listened to all nine episodes since Friday afternoon. This just gets into the number 3 spot for being about two things I am really really obsessed with: fairy tales and knitting. But Erin also talks about spinning and her goats and alpacas and cheese. It's not one for you if you're not interested in hearing about the podcaster's life, and I think Erin is still getting to grips with Audacity so you have to forgive her for not editing out all the umms and urrs and silences, but it's still a really interesting podcast and I love it. Erin is running a draw at the moment where you can win some yarn if you leave her a comment with feedback on the podcast (see the most recent podcast post) but you'd have to be quick to participate - it ends today and you'd have to actually listen to the podcasts.

2. CraftLit, by Heather Ordover

CraftLit is like having a really good English literature lesson. It is basically a little bit of craft, a lot of literature, and great commentary by Heather Ordover, who used to be an English teacher and now I think produces educational materials or something like that. I think I mentioned this before but I knitted my Wisp whilst listening to the Pride and Prejudice episodes, lying on my bed in my old student house. It was pretty much bliss except for whenever I made a mistake with the lace and had to stop the podcast and frog a few rows. That was not nice. Especially at four in the morning (I got really into this podcast!).

I am terribly behind with CraftLit. I have a lot to listen to, hopefully when all my university work is over I will catch up. It's harder to listen to on the train than the others, because I need quiet so that I can get into the story.

1. Cast-On, by Brenda Dayne

There is a podcasting god, her name is Brenda Dayne, she makes knitting sound like the most awesome thing on earth, Wales sound like the most awesome place on earth, and she is a spectacularly awesome person herself. If you're not interested in hearing about the podcaster's life you might be wary about checking this out because Brenda does talk about herself quite a bit but when you get into it you want to hear about her life because she is just amazing! I sound like a total fangirl but that's okay because I am.

Cast-On has been sponsored by the Arts Council Wales, the production is great and it's just generally fabulous. It's funny, it's serious, there is a special sound effect for whenever Addi Turbos (a brand of knitting needles) are mentioned. Loads of really cool people write essays and read them for this podcast too. I love it. Hearing the intro thrills me - I adore this podcast that much.

Brenda just, literally, just posted a new episode, ABOUT HATS. I am thrilled, although I am a few episodes behind. But only a few, because Cast-On is that good I can't help but keep up with it.

How To Wear Striped Tights Or Stockings (Without Looking Like A Mall-Rat Baby Bat)

2008-03-14T21:22:00.009Z

Some Don'ts:

Don't wear them with black Converse All-Stars

Don't wear them with a tutu

Don't wear them with a hoodie

Don't wear them with eyeliner on the inner rim of your eye

Don't wear them if they are laddered or have holes in them

Don't buy them from the supermarket or cheap accessories store at Halloween, get a pair from a decent brand

Don't wear a pair that have orange, purple or green stripes with any clothes in the other colours (e.g. if you're wearing purple and black striped tights do not wear orange or green as well) unless you want to look like the embodiment of Halloween.

At this point I must confess that I have in the past worn my black and purple striped tights with black Converse All-Stars, with eyeliner on the inner rim of my eye, and that they have a mini-ladder by the right toes and were bought from a cheap accessories store by my sister, the original owner.

The first two sins were committed on Halloween 2005, which was before I really learnt how to dress myself, the third is covered by shoes, and the fourth can't be helped now. They are slightly see through so I sometimes wear them with black tights underneath for best results. However, they are slightly too big width ways and I have to keep pulling them up so the stripes stay even.

I am actually currently wearing them with a skirt that has a layer of netting underneath the top layer of black cotton. However, since I am otherwise perfectly neat, tidy, and hopefully elegant, it looks okay.

I also slightly spoiled my all-purple-and-black outfit when I went out today by taking along a carrier bag with orange on it. I suddenly realised I was channelling Halloween and was not happy to say the least!

Now for the Dos!

If your striped tights or stockings are black and one other colour, do wear (cute) shoes that match perfectly the colour that is not black. If they are stripes without black, match them to one of the colours.

An example is on the right. In reality, the purple of the shoes is the exact same shade as that of the tights. I'm just a bad photographer.

Do wear them with more dressy/formal clothes. This will prevent you from being mistaken under any circumstances for a teenager.

Do wear them with cats-eye eyeliner, it looks elegant and again will prevent you from being mistaken for a teenager.

Do wear them with co-ordinating colours. Again, it will make you look grown-up.

Here are a couple of outfits I created on Polyvore based around striped tights or stockings. Unfortunately, Polyvore is extremely lacking in decent pictures of striped tights or stockings, so I could only do black and white stripes and black and red stripes, and no purple outfits! There are quite a few pictures of one leg in stripes, which is odd and pretty useless when trying to give a good idea of what it will really look like! Seriously, WTF?

In this I aimed to make the look softer and gently colourful. I love this outfit. I wish I had it! It would be perfect for so many occasions.

I love red and blue worn together and I decided to see what they would look like with some little black dresses. This is an example of me putting the "Dos" from above into serious practice! Ohhh, I wish I had these clothes...