First, theWAREHOUSE has a promising idea for success as a performer:

Second, here’s a surprising twist from Rob and Elliot:

While we’re on a skeptical humor kick, here’s a “little moment of win” that will make you smile, from the site It Made My Day (IMMD):

The other day I was on a plane, and Mr. Aisle started trying to sell me an insane, “oil is abiotic” conspiracy theory. Then, Ms. Window chimed in; she was a geologist. Her polite, yet definitive empircal smackdown of his nonsense MMD.

[Update: The video has been pulled from YouTube. On their Facebook page, WisconsinEye says that they don't want clips like that being made from their coverage, because as a nonpartisan and nonprofit organization they want "to ensure that the public can view these events in their entirety and in their original context rather than an edited version that could potentially serve partisan political purposes." That's totally reasonable.

For your convenience, here is the Assembly Special Floor Session from February 18. The part that the YouTube video excerpted begins at 18:16.]

Gordon Hintz, you give me hope for America.

GEICO commercials chant, “Fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.” The Allstate home page asks, “How much could you save? People who switched to Allstate saved an average of $348 per year.” State Farm’s website promises (with one small asterisk) “SAVE $489 when you switch to State Farm.” Progressive counters: “Get a FREE auto quote to see if you could save over $500!” And on and on.

I’m not going to link to these sites, because my point in mentioning this advertising tactic is to discredit it. It’s so frustratingly misleading, I think steam is actually going to pour out of my ears the next time I see a commercial using it.

I understand that any business wants to advertise the idea that it has low prices. But at some point, it becomes unrealistic. Some of the offers I hear imply that if I switched my car insurance to a particular insurance company, the company would be paying me — that’s the only way I could be said to “save” that much money in a year. And what if I switched again after that? If every insurance company saves you hundreds of dollars over every other insurance company, it never ends! We might have just discovered a flawless get-rich-quick scheme!

Of course, that’s not the claim they’re making per se. They’ve carefully phrased the ads to suggest it, but they’re squeaking by false advertising laws with their fine print, asterisks, and minced words. The simple fact is, people who switch from one insurance company to another are most likely going to do it because it saves them money. People who would not save money generally don’t switch. These averages are skewed because the sample is biased. Allstate policies aren’t $348 cheaper than all other policies on average; they’re just cheaper for the people who found that Allstate offered them cheaper policies and decided that switching car insurance was worth the hassle for that savings level. When GEICO says that “New GEICO customers report annual average savings over $500,” they haven’t actually promised that you’d have those savings. And presumably, if you didn’t save by switching, you wouldn’t become a new GEICO customer.

My guess at what’s actually happening? Perhaps different companies have different rates for different groups of people. Single people in their twenties and thirties might be seen as risky by most companies, but safe by one. Older married couples might find much cheaper policies with one or two companies than the rest. Adding a teen driver on your policy might be a much better deal with certain providers. When people in the right category find “their” insurance company, they switch and get big savings. I have no data about whether this is true — just speculating. (Feel free to add your better ideas in the comments.) Naturally, if this is the case, being forthright about it wouldn’t be a good business plan. You need to diversify risk in order to run a functional insurance company. If one or two firms end up with all the teen drivers, you can bet their rates for teen drivers would start to change.

The car insurance companies are trying to get you to associate their average new customer savings rates with their overall affordability level. Don’t let them. Sure, take the basic suggestion and shop around when you’re buying car insurance; look for who’s actually giving you the policy you want at the most affordable price. But as with any advertisement, don’t take all the implications too seriously.

This reader wrote:

I take small (no more than a pinch or two) quantities of psilocybin every day. Not to get high, not to unwind, but to try to heal my body. For 5+ years I’ve had an autoimmune problem that’s demyelinating my peripheral nerves – it’s called neuropathy. I do take a monthly treatment of gamma globulin to try to stabilize it, but the prognosis is for a long slow decline. Since “western medicine” doesn’t really have a clue and basically has the equivalent of sledgehammers to treat this thing, I’ve tried a host of non-Western modalities, including acupuncture and Chinese herbs, homeopathy, bio-energy balancing and strict diet. Not entirely no dice, but my condition is still declining. I suppose my fail-safe maneuver is to visit Lourdes or John of God in Brazil.

Anyway, fortunately I’ve also got contacts in the spiritual community of “medicine”, who have given me the idea of using what folks in Mexico call “the little healers”. I have a scientist friend who used it in small quantities daily to recover from bad asthma. It is reputed to help with the immune system (as well as anxiety and depression).

I am as yet too scared to undertake a full trip, which evidently can be like 6 months or a year’s worth of therapy in a few hours, but someday I will work up to it. I am befriending it right now, and I feel the mushrooms are helping my condition. You could call it merely a result of magic thinking, but what harm can it possibly cause? It’s natural, and I am determined to use whatever I can to heal.

Did you catch it? “Since ‘western medicine’ doesn’t really have a clue … I’ve tried a host of non-Western modalities.” “My fail-safe maneuver.” “The spiritual community of ‘medicine.’” “It is reputed to help.” Medicine wasn’t working out for this person, so they figured they might as well try alternative medicine as a backup. This is an attitude I’ve grown accustomed to hearing, but the frequency with which it’s repeated doesn’t make it any easier to comprehend or any more pleasant.

I think it was Tim Minchin who said it best: “Do you know what they call alternative medicine that’s been proved to work? Medicine.” These “non-Western modalities,” so appealing to our (misguided) sense of reverence toward any and all ancient wisdom, are all things that haven’t been proved to work, or have been proved not to work. Let’s take a look, shall we?

• Acupuncture: Sticking little needles all over the body at particular points, believed to heal a wide variety of ailments by manipulating “qi” or “energy flow” in some vague, magical way. It turns out that merely pretending to give someone acupuncture has equal, if not greater, healing power. Hmm.
• Chinese herbs: This is pretty nonspecific. Suffice it to say that there are plenty of herbs that do have curative effects, and many of the ones we know about have been used in actual medicines, but the simple fact that something is an herb doesn’t make it healthy by definition. The fetishization of eastern/Chinese wisdom doesn’t make an herb curative, either.
• Homeopathy: I, too, used to think that “homeopathy” was a synonym for “natural remedy.” But it turns out that it’s based such blatant magical thinking, it’s shocking that any generally sane person could buy into this scam. Homeopaths believe that the more dilute something is, the more powerful it is, so they dilute their “medicines” far beyond the point where a single molecule of the “active ingredient” would even be present in the solution. And about that active ingredient — they believe that “like cures like,” so to treat a symptom you should take something which would cause that symptom. Luckily (I guess), they dilute it into nonexistence first.
• Bio-energy balancing: What does this even mean? What is “bio-energy,” and how might an “imbalance” of it relate to peripheral neuropathy? This is just a nonsense phrase, an attempt to sound scientific and convince gullible people to open their wallets.
• Lourdes: I can only hope these last two were offered tongue-in-cheek. The shrine at Lourdes is about as credible a source of miracles as a burnt grilled cheese sandwich.
• John of God: This guy is a con artist. Perhaps he’s fooled himself too, but when you get right down to it he performs carnival tricks and scams people out of their money. Not a very good “fail-safe maneuver,” if your definition of “fail” is anything like mine.

Interestingly, the anonymous email-writer acknowledged the effectiveness of these alternative treatments: “Not entirely no dice, but my condition is still declining.” I’d chalk “not entirely no dice” up to the placebo effect, given the list that was offered and what we know about those “modalities” from scientific investigations.

I understand that people with long-lasting, painful medical conditions want some way to make themselves better. However, wanting something doesn’t make it so. The popular notion that “alternative medicine” is worth a try when you’re in dire straits can definitely be harmful. It distracts people from, and sometimes interferes with, proven science-based medical treatments. It wastes people’s time and money. In the rare cases where “alternative medicine” is not just a modern-day version of dancing around a bonfire or sacrificing a goat, where it has some actual direct physical effect, it can be very dangerous — because it isn’t regulated, hasn’t been adequately tested, and is not well-understood.

What about psilocybin? I admit I don’t have the scientific background to have an educated opinion. Perhaps it could be used for some valid treatments; our current legal framework might be constraining adequate research into these possibilities. What I can say with more certainty is that the attitude so perfectly encapsulated here — in which treatments which are “non-Western,” “spiritual,” or endorsed by “folks” in developing countries are given privileged status over evidence-based medicine — is what motivated this writer to try it. And that attitude is dangerous.

I miss writing here. I wonder if any of my old subscribers will notice this update, or if my entire readership has dwindled to those people searching Google for the meaning of the expression “it’s the thought that counts.” In any case, I’m going to try to bring this blog back in the new year, and spend some time between now and then stocking up the queue.

I think it’ll be easier to keep blogging consistently if I have a clearer framework to start from. So, in the future, I plan to post critical examinations of particular ideas and concepts we encounter in our daily lives — whether in politics, advertising, pop culture, science, or any other aspect of the Zeitgeist in general. (That’s critical examinations in the sense of applying critical thinking, not implying that I’ll necessarily be criticizing or debunking every idea I discuss.) I’m sure that, occasionally, I’ll write a post that’s just about some recent event or other news item, but I think this framework is true to our original vision of what this blog would be for and will prompt me to write more often.

I’m going to aim for three posts a week (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday), beginning in January. See you then!

Pronouns are a big deal for transgendered people. Calling a trans man (female to Male) ‘she’ is at best misinformed and at worst purposefully hurtful and can be a very painful thing. Calling a non-binary ‘he’ or ‘she’ is just as inaccurate, which brings up another problem- the English language isn’t equipped for gender neutrality.

They go on to discuss several options for more appropriate pronouns, and the pros and cons of each. It’s a very insightful and thorough post, while still being concise and understandable. The post title sums it up well in that it is both “an explanation and a request” (for respectful behavior), which is why I think it’s so important to pass this on to my readers — especially those of you who don’t usually encounter, and so probably don’t spend much time thinking about, gender identity issues. It’s definitely worth your time. What are you waiting for — read it!

A perfect example of what I’m talking about is Obama’s meeting with House Republicans at their retreat in Baltimore last week. If you’re the sort of person who reads this blog regularly, you’ve probably at least heard about this if not seen it. I finally sat down and watched the video all the way through, and I’m still in awe — of Obama especially, but really of everyone. It was an awesome thing to do. Everyone was very civil — the Republicans had time to explain their questions fully and did so in a way that was earnest and not belligerent, Obama answered with real details and arguments rather than talking points and catchphrases. This is a great example what a real political dialogue can look like. Could we please have more? Lots more?

If you haven’t watched it yet, I’ll make it easy for you. Here’s the meatiest part, the Q&A session (via C-SPAN).

Lately GMH has been making me sad, but not quite for the usual reason. Here are a few recent, poignant examples of this depressing flavor of “inspirational.” All the bold and extra spacing is original, from the site.

Last Sunday, my dad was at a church service in Austin, TX. An obviously homeless man sat next to him in the pew.

During the offering, the man put $2 into the basket.

Selflessness GMH.

That’s right, we’re supposed to be hopeful about humanity because a man who really couldn’t afford it somehow scraped together some money to give to a church. Aren’t churches supposed to be helping the poor, not taking their money? I don’t know what it means to be “obviously homeless,” but I assume it means he appeared unwashed, with ragged or dirty clothes, and maybe seemed noticeably in need of medical or dental care. I’m pretty sure he could have put those couple dollars to better use at a laundromat, or Goodwill, or a grocery store. What’s the great thing the church is going to do with it — buy some new hymnals? Send some solar-powered audio Bibles to Haiti? Best case scenario, they put it towards a soup kitchen, a shelter, or other resources for the neediest in society. I think Jesus would want this man to keep his two dollars, this week and every week, at least until he is able to get his own life back on track. (Or for him to give away as much money to the church as possible, so God would make him rich. Either way.)

Today, the pastor of my church anounced that his 19-year-old daughter was pregnant out of wed-lock.

As the pastor’s wife began to cry, a little boy ran up to her and hugged her saying, “It’s okay! Babies are the best thing in the world, no matter what.” GMH

I’m sorry, no. It does not give me hope to think that this 19-year-old girl — just getting started with adulthood and figuring out what life she wants for herself — is going to be putting her life on hold indefinitely to raise a child she is probably nowhere near ready to care for, even if she had a stable partner to help, which it sounds like she doesn’t. It does not give me hope to think of the child who will grow up around grandparents (and presumably also parent/s) who were sorrowful and ashamed when they anticipated the baby’s birth, rather than proud and eager to move forward into a new and exciting part of their lives. Without further details, I am also left to assume that this girl probably missed out on anything resembling comprehensive sex education, at home or at school, all in the name of purity and devoutness. I am left to assume that if she had been more informed about how babies are made and not made, this whole thing could have been avoided. Look, I like babies too. Babies are great. But at some point we have to admit that being pregnant is not an awesome development for every female person at every point in time. Pretending otherwise is just sad.

I recently rung up a young boy and his mother. When he saw me at the register, wearing a hijab, he grinned broadly at me. As they were walking away afterwards, he tugged on his mom’s sleeve and said,

“Did you see her, ma? She’s gorgeous! I bet that’s why she’s all covered up.”

He GMH.

This anecdote fails to give me hope for precisely the reason it seems to give hope to others: this little boy is exactly right. I wouldn’t stop a woman from wearing a hijab if she really wanted to; I appreciate the importance of cultural history and tradition in some people’s lives. For some, the hijab is basically just a form of traditional dress, so who cares about where it came from. But it is important to remember that the origins of the tradition are pretty suspicious from a gender equality standpoint. There is no clear commandment in the Koran that women must cover themselves in precisely this way. The commonly cited passages sound more like suggestions, and are not specific. An ultimately more revealing passage can be found in the hadiths: “O Allah’s Apostle! I wish you ordered your wives to cover themselves from the men because good and bad ones talk to them.” Yes, by request rather than by divine order, these women (well, at least Muhammad’s wives) must be covered (in some way or other) because they are getting nonzero attention from men, and this ought to be stopped. That is the philosophy behind this tradition. So yes, it would seem that you are all covered up because you are too gorgeous to be seen by men around you. It’s nice that a little boy thought you looked pretty even though you were dressed differently than most of the people he saw in your store, but his comment is so emblematic of a larger problem that it doesn’t give me hope, it takes some of my hope away.

Dear Prudie,
I have a marketing problem. It seems that since the economy has taken a downward slide, many of my friends and customers have turned to enthusiastically selling multilevel marketing products. I find that I am getting pitched every time we meet for lunch, go shopping, or have a cocktail. I have been presented with energy drinks, vitamins, phone services, and travel companies, to name a few. I have also been told by some of my customers that if I don’t support them in their new business venture, I can plan on not getting any future business from them. I believe these people are being taken advantage of and their excitement is only temporary, as they are riding the high of what was promised to them for potential earnings. How can I tell my friends and customers that I do not support multilevel marketing schemes and I don’t want to hear about their newest business opportunity?

—Please Stop the MLM Madness

Multi-level marketing schemes are ones where you get recruited to sell a product — it could be something specific, like Herbalife which sells vitamins and herbal “supplements,” or a virtual smorgasbord of different things, like Amway/Quixtar. This is presented as a great opportunity because you can “be your own boss,” and the like. Not only are you a salesperson for this business, earning commissions on your sales, but the person who recruited you gets commissions on your sales. And the person who recruited that person gets commissions on the sales of the people they personally recruited, and all of those people’s recruits (including you). And so on. If you recruit people, they’re sure to recruit others, who will recruit still more, and you too can make a fortune! So goes the claim.

Of course, it’s nonsense. Not only is it impractical — because the products are typically overpriced and are easily beaten in value by something your potential customers would find at the mall before they call you up about it — it’s also nonsensical. It’s different in a tiny technicality from a pyramid scheme (no commissions on recruitment, only on sale of products) but it’s doomed to fail for the same reason. There just aren’t enough people on the planet to sustain it in a way that’ll be profitable. Profitable for you, I mean. This whole thing is plenty profitable for the people that start these outfits, because they’re churning out these cheap silly products for you to buy for your inventory at marked-up rates (and then fail at selling to your friends and family at even more marked-up rates).

Bottom line: this is not a good idea. It may look good on paper, but it is ultimately a false promise. A tiny fraction of people participating in multi-level marketing turn a profit from sales, and an even tinier fraction of them quit their day job and make a fortune off it. The economy has been hard enough on everyone as it is. Don’t take it as an opportunity to throw even more of your money away. And remember that it’s not just yourself you’d be putting at risk, it’s the people you’ll be pressured to rope in with you, and in particular — as this letter reminds us — the friends and family you’ll be putting in a really difficult situation.

Anyhow, Prudie answers:

Dear Madness,
With your friends, you need to say you wish them the best, but like everyone else, you’re on a tight budget and simply can’t purchase these items from them. If they press you, say you’re being approached all the time, and you’ve just had to make a blanket decision in order to keep yourself from going broke. As for your clients, I’m assuming you actually provide a useful and necessary service to them. How nice that they want to exploit that to coerce you into buying useless and unnecessary products. It’s up to you to decide if a firm refusal is the best way to go, or if being more flexible would be better for you. If it’s the former, explain to them you understand how tough it is out there, but you hope to keep them as customers because they value what you offer, and that one way you keep your prices competitive is not going off your budget. If it’s the latter, you can consider buying their junk a cost of doing business. But before you sign up, explain that you are able to spend only a specific amount of money and will not go beyond that.

—Prudie

I’m sorry that anyone might have to set aside a budget for playing along with a scam, but I agree with Prudence here that it might be the best thing for business if you can keep your involvement limited. Limits are really the key with this kind of stuff! Don’t let yourself get sucked in. For a lot more information about MLM, including hard numbers such as income statistics, and a bunch of citations, please take a look at Brian Dunning’s Skeptoid episode from last October. It’s great! You might also be interested in Russell Glasser’s site, The Perils of Amway, which has two epic personal accounts of individuals who were involved with Amway but found their ways out.