Preface: This post is what I would consider a semi-recall post. The first 700 words were written immediately after our trip, which was on March 18-19, 2017. The rest, I wrote 15 months after the fact, so forgive me if some of my specifics are outdated.

Disclaimer: This is, by all means, a personal account of my experience in Masasa Beach. I’m not here to sell you on anything, nor to please anyone (institutions included) not worth pleasing. This is also not a guide—although you will find some very cool ninja tips here—so use with your own discretion.

Ang daming sinabi. Article starts below.

When it comes to vacations, I am at a point in my life wherein I would seriously reconsider if one of these is missing: aircon, heated shower, decent internet connection, duvet-covered bed (okay, maybe not the last one).

So, yes, basically anything that starts with “cam” and ends with “ping” is a definite NO. Don’t get me wrong, I am not high maintenance, I’m just done with that cowboy shit. I realize, I didn’t really enjoy it much during my younger years, so why bother now? In other words, I came to my senses and became real (naks).

Kaya ko, pero ayaw ko.

And so, when asked why I chose not to go to a recent one-day hiking adventure with my wife and her cousins, I crassly said, “Ang sarap-sarap sa bahay, eh.”

But because married life is all about compromises—and because all I could come up with was a Family Computer reissue for her last birthday gift—I knew a sacrifice was up and about.

I then asked, “Anong gusto mo sa birthday mo?” To which she replied, “Ewan ko, pero gusto kong bumalik sa Masasa.”

Of course, I couldn’t say no. Not that I wanted to, mind you, and to be honest, the thought of having a mini adventure without parental responsibility actually excited me.

Me, her, Batangas. #justliketheolddays

(Okay, there were actually five of us. But heck, the more the merrier, right? Plus, I can afford to sit pretty all the more because I can delegate tasks to others. #waysofthetito)

Let’s start with a mini travel guide, shall we?

How to go to Masasa Beach (from Alabang)

1. Ride a bus from South Station Alabang to Batangas Grand Terminal (less than Php 200)
2. Take a jeep from Batangas Grand Terminal to Anilao Port (less than Php 50)
3. Ride the boat going to Tingloy (less than Php 150 including environmental fee)

For the rest of you non-Alabangers, simply figure out a way to get to Anilao Port—the one with the palengke and the small Petron.

One hell of a port

Anilao Port is a small, very unorganized port. If you want to bring a car, this is where you’ll have to leave it. However, the chances of getting a good parking slot here is minimal at best, unless you want to arrive before the sun rises. So, yes, we’d rather commute. #justliketheolddaysagain

Now, here’s where it gets hellish. Once you reach the port, be prepared for battle. Because Masasa has been trending for quite some time now, Anilao Port—the only starting point to get there—gets really crowded. The waiting time? For us, 3 fucking hours. We arrived at around 11:00 AM; we literally first set foot on the boat at around 2:30 PM. No kidding. That 3 hours includes the time you will have to fall in line to reserve a seat (or seats if you’re the representative in your group) under the burning sun. Yes, zero shade sa pila. After that, some more waiting for your boat to arrive until you finally board.

Major rant alert

Motherfucking maraming sumisingit sa pila dito. Be prepared to be brave. Try your best to say or shout something if someone cuts in, even if parinig lang. The people will back you up. Always be aware of who’s in front of you. There are many “fixers” there as the locals have found a way to profit by “lining up” for the travelers.

On your way to Tingloy

If you haven’t figured out by now, Masasa Beach is on a separate island. It’s called Tingloy and it’s between the Batangas mainland and Mindoro, albeit significantly closer to the mainland. The boat ride will take about 45 minutes, maybe 1 hour tops. The boats are your typical 60-to-80-capacity dual-katig wooden boats with super smoke-belching diesel truck engines.

Fact: These boats will either drop you off at Tingloy port or on Masasa Beach itself (if you’re lucky). You cannot choose the final destination even if you wanted to. It’s on a rotation system known only to them, so you’d have to deal with whichever boat you chance upon.

Unfortunately, we got the former so we disembarked on Tingloy port. Because of this, we had to do an additional tricycle ride, plus a 1-, maybe 1.5-kilometer trek to reach the actual beach.

The Tito perspective

Electricity, millennials

Did you know that electricity in Masasa is in shifting mode? I’m not sure if this goes for the whole of Tingloy, but electricity is automatically cut off at 12:00 AM and goes back 12:00 PM. During our stay, it was cut off at around 11:30 PM. So, what happens after 12:00 AM? Pretty much the same. Masasa-goers are the type who don’t need electricity to have a good time. Inuman sa beach, night swimming, kung anu-anong ka-millenial-an, etc.

Lodging system

Masasa is not commercialized (as of 2017). As in not at all. There are no resorts, no bars, no restaurants. Lodging is done by way of finding locals willing to lend their houses, so rates vary invariably. Tents are allowed and we did see many happy campers, but I’m not sure where the designated areas are (if any), and how the whole bathroom situation is dealt with.

By the way, yes, we were able to rent a small family’s entire house. It had a bathroom, a kitchen area, and an elevated sleeping/living area. It was alright because we had it to ourselves. Because in my opinion, privacy is the only buyable (is that a word?) luxury here. Where did the owners sleep, you ask? Oh, we kicked them out. But that’s how it really works.

Virgin beach and how to survive

Like I said, Masasa is not commercialized so I guess you can brand it as fresh, virgin, untapped, Boracay noon, etc. Okay, I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s Boracay pre-exploitation, just maybe Puerto Galera White Beach at best. (Hey, that’s saying a lot because PG was really beautiful back then.) So, I guess it would be wise to sum it up as an outstanding addition to the list of accessible, no-plane-ride-needed beaches from Metro Manila.

Food and drinks (eating, drinking) are somewhat of an inconvenience. Don’t think for a second that you can survive here so long as you have some spare cash in your pocket Manila-style. Meals are something that you have to prepare for. There are sari-sari stores, though, so if you’re fine with pansit everything, be my guest. And because this was the missus’ second time, we came prepared with frozen meats, canned goods, and even bigas.

Side story: I saw a barkada (all boys) lug a full-sized cooler filled with beers from the mainland to Tingloy. And mind you, this is not of  the Coleman type—think Coke coolers used in food markets/bazaars. As for us, I was tasked to carry a 5-liter mineral water . Tanggal-kamay sarap.

Recent update/addition (08/04/18): I was able to find data signal that’s good enough for some must-do work, but it was such a pain.

The beach and the mini lagoon

You can walk the entire length of the beach from end to end. On the far right (if you’re on the ocean and looking at the shore) is another beach that is rockier. On the far left, well, that’s where Mother Nature came to play. Here you’ll find intricate rock formations that gave rise to a breathtaking mini lagoon. A short trek is needed to reach the place, but I will go insofar as saying that it’s safe even for kids.

Swimming

Unfortunately, we weren’t able to go snorkeling so I have nothing to say about the corals. However, this is Batangas-Mindoro so I’m guessing it’s world class. The water is helluva clear, though, and the gradient of the descent is very mild and swimming friendly.

Going back home, another battle

Let’s just say the most unforgettable forgettable moments of this trip all happened during the waiting-for-the-boat times. The port and whoever’s in charge of boat traffic (coast guard?) are simply not ready for the influx of travelers who crowd the docks on season, much like an H&M store opening. It’s scary because people get anxious and become unruly, and it’s always at the brink of getting all out of control—add to that that it all happens under the piercing heat of direct sunlight.

In closing

As much as I want Masasa Beach to stay virgin forever, I’d be fine if it were the last time I see it. As the title says, I’m (already a) corny tito and I’ve had my fair share of anything-goes, walang-kinabukasan adventures. Masasa is good for that; it’s also good for off-the-grid escapes or if you want to take a break from the internet and social media, and simply enjoy nature for a while.

As for its future, I’d honestly be surprised if it doesn’t get commercialized anytime soon. Let’s just hope the developers or would-be small business owners do it in a tasteful manner.

Masasa Beach is excellent for the young ones, but not the young once. I would not even recommend it for a family vacation (with kids, elders), but that’s just me. Not in its current virgin state, at least.

So, what is Seascape Resort Batangas exactly? It’s a resort with a seascape (woke moment alert). It sits atop some mountain, overlooking a part of the southern Batangas shoreline that I have now come to know (via Google) as Batangas Bay.

Disclaimer

This post’s title might lead you to think that I’m on to another major bitching, but I actually liked the place. It’s unfortunate that it’s nowhere within 10 minutes (at least) of a beach-able beach, but I should have known better. So, if you want to treat this post as a review of sorts, be my guest. And, because I’m still only on my way to travel blogger superstardom, I get nothing from writing these things—so expect nothing but pure honesty.

How to get there

How to go to Seascape Resort Batangas? (Uy, keyword stuffing.)

Simple, Waze the fuck it up. (Uy, inulit lang yung hirit sa last post.) But seriously, I’m not into making travel guides because I do not want to be blamed for your being lost in the middle of nowhere. But, here’s what I know anyway.

My reference points are (and always will be): the Batangas pier that we all use to go to Puerto Galera, and Mabini, Batangas—home to the Anilao diving spots.

Proceed as if you were to go to the aforementioned pier—Star Tollway until the end, then on the roundabout take the second exit (Waze, ikaw ba yan?). Now you’re already on the road that leads to the port. On this exact same road, you’ll hit a very obvious flyover. That aformentioned (ibang word naman, huy!) flyover is exactly where you DO NOT want to be. Make sure to stay on the right; on the intersection below the flyover, go right.

You are now on the road that leads to Mabini—the one with the scuba diver statue—and the smaller port that you’d use if you were to go to Masasa. However, you are NOT to reach those places. Perhaps halfway through that Mabini highway road, you’ll see a sign that says Seascape Resort. You’ll know you’re on the right path if this road you turned right on is one-lane narrow and steep.

Commentary

The place is huge. In fact, if you try to walk from the first main gate slash parking area to the second gate, you’ll find yourself catching your breath—thanks in part to the hill-like layout of the resort. Yes, there are endless stairs and ramps, because like I said, “it sits atop some mountain.”

Swimming pool, tree house, and Mickey Mouse obsession

The main swimming pool goes down to 7 feet on the slide landing area. I don’t think any of us tried that slide as it looks like it’s going to sandpaper the shit out of our asses. There’s also a small hut in the middle of the main pool that becomes the lone source of shade during the day.

The children’s pool—still connected to the main pool—is shaped as such: big circle (main kiddie pool) and two smaller circles (ears; Jacuzzi-like). Yes, Mickey Mouse. To add to the Mickey Mouse obsession, a giant Mickey is impressed on the floor of the main pool, while also being somewhat shaped like a Mickey. I’m not sure if there are other  Mickey homages within the resort, but these really stick out like an out-of-nowhere sore thumb.

The tree house, on the other hand, is really more of like a tree gazebo. It’s the designated videoke area and can accommodate 20 adults easily. It also serves as the roof to a giant bird cage, which is quite a bummer, to be honest, because you know—captivity #woke #ibonmangmaylayanglumipad #dontforgetthehashtag.

Other amenities

There’s a basketball hoop with just about enough playing space for a three-on-three on the second parking area—which we didn’t get to use, a billiard table near the first parking area and the huts—which I didn’t get to use, and a restaurant—which we didn’t get to eat at.

Opinion

The place is nice. I’m not head-over-heels crazy over it, but I like the overall vibe I got from the experience. The rooms are a little bit nicer than nice—probably around 90% (if hotel rooms were a hundred). I’m pretty sure we got the two biggest rooms available—to accommodate an almost-twenty group—so ours were filled with bunk beds. Still, it didn’t feel like military barracks.

Another winner—the view; especially from our room. It was overlooking the pool, which was also overlooking the ocean from afar. Sure, this side of the sea was all cargo ships and ports, but it still makes for a scenic view. Ika nga ng bayaw ko, “Puro mga bankers.” (oil bunker).

What else? Because we arrived the latest, we weren’t able to experience the wrath of the masungit front desk lady. But according to my wife’s cousins’ accounts, it was enough to make dinuguan (magpakulo ng dugo). There’s also the usual lack of water pressure and consistent hot water, but I’ll let that pass this time. Signal (4G) was unexpectedly strong.

Expenditures

It took almost exactly 100 kilometers from The Alabang to the resort itself, so at an aggressive 8-10 kilometers/liter, that’s Php 1,200-1,400 balikan in today’s rates. As for toll: 91 Filinvest to Calamba + 25 Sto. Tomas + 95 Star Tollway dulo = Php 211 one way.

For the rooms, here are the exact rates: Php 5,425 for the good-for-6 room and Php 7,235 for the good-for-12 room (yes, a room for 12). All were booked via Booking.com (affiliate link).

I guess it would be hard to compare the expenses we amassed on this trip if you’re a small group, as it almost seems like we were a small company on an outing. And it doesn’t help that we super Pinoy-styled the food budget—adobo, baon everything, ihaw, etc. All in all, I would put the to-the-centavo equally divided individual gastos at a very affordable ?1,200 per person.

Closing Remarks

Seascape Resort Batangas is located in the middle of nowhere, in a province known for so many travel spots. It’s a bit odd, to be honest, and if you’re from the city, going there on its own merits might be wasteful (think of it as a Pansol outing that is double the travel time).

I believe it’s best for Batangueños looking for a quick overnight getaway with swimming and a scenic view. Or, a place to hold a company outing or party, or the like.

Special mention to Lando & Lorie’s Eatery, Lipa City—a must-try food stop if you ever get lost in Lipa.

Mount Samat made it to a top list of Philippine bundoks you can conquer in a day. It deserves to be, to be honest, because there’s something really powerful about that mountain.

Okay, we didn’t really climb Mount Samat per se—mountaineer-style—but still. Besides, there’s a perfectly good road leading up to the summit, so why would we I? So, if you’re planning to do a climb, look elsewhere. Otherwise, if you want the lazy, faster, with-aircon way, then read on.

By the way, when we planned our Bataan day trip, we only had Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar in mind. Bataan is relatively near and Las Casas will only really take 4 hours of your time max, so we ended up with time to spare. As per the suggestion of the Las Casas staff and some googling, Mount Samat seemed like a legit side trip.

But wait, here’s a super blogger tip: if you want to do a Bataan day trip, do these three: Mount Samat National Shrine, Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar, and Pawikan Conservation Center. In that particular order, or in reverse. We were not able to do the three (labo) simply because we went straight to Las Casas, but at least we learned something. If you want to do Pawikan first, go via SCTEx. The other two will be on the way going home—but this time via the old San Fernando exit. If you want to do Mount Samat first, exit San Fernando and go home via SCTEx after Pawikan. However, might I suggest doing Mount Samat first because you wouldn’t want to arrive too late there and miss the elevator going up the cross (like we did). Super ninja blogging tip, indeed.

Wait a minute, I’m blogging about Mount Samat even though I didn’t really “climb” it, plus I was not able go up the cross? Sinong niloko nitong blogger na’to? That’s the thing. I was just really moved by the place.

Dramabels aside, Mount Samat, the entrance to, is about 20 kilometers from Las Casas (you won’t miss the sign that leads to it from the national road). From the foot of that entry, there’s an exhilarating drive of about 20 minutes until you reach the shrine area. That 20-minute drive will test your inner Schumacher (old school pati mga references). It’s uphill, downhill, zigzagy, narrow, and has very steep, curved short bursts—think downshifting to first gear ala Baguio. (Also, I could swear I saw some downhill skaters there.)

The road only leads up to the shrine area so you won’t miss it. Once you reach the gate, prepare to pay a whopping PHP 20 entrance. Go as far as you can because by this time you’re already looking for parking; and, the farther you go, the less uphill walking you’ll have to do.

You all know what this shrine is about, right? Yeah, the whole Bataan Death March thing. This is where the soldiers hid until they could no longer do so—because of hunger, I’m guessing—while the Japanese had all the exits covered. After that happened the Death March.

So yes, there’s a reason why this mountain gets to you. It may be the rich, haunted history, or the stunning view of Bataan, or the megastructure sitting on top of it; either way, it’s all very sulit. Sulit not only because you’ll spend a maximum of only PHP 50 there, but because—as simple as it is—it does not disappoint.

So once again, word of advice, try to arrive early because the elevator going up the observation deck (in the cross) closes early. (The shrine is open from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM, so the last people to go up should be done by 5.)

What else? Oh, read this super-blogger guide if you want all bases covered.

Overall: Highly recommended (wow, a first!)

By the way, between Mount Samat and Las Casas you’ll pass by a sort of Philippine-Japan friendship tower on an intersection that leads up to Bagac town proper. Take some photos there if you’re the type (and if you’ve totally forgiven the Japanese for their terrors). (Kidding.) Seriously, though, it’s nothing.

Click here for the Bataan photo blog (to follow).

Warning: this post is bitchy.

Eagle Point. What an adventure; and by adventure, I mean the unexpected.

Being that our summer schedule is, on average, booked 365 days in advance (thanks to my wife), we had to find a quick getaway for the holy week with less than a week to go, just so we don’t get bored out of our minds repenting (our house). The criteria: ocean, hotel, within 200 kilometers, cheap.

We found two resorts: one in Subic, one in Batangas. Needless to say, choosing the latter was something we never deemed so regrettable, especially within only five minutes of arriving at the place.

Where is Eagle Point?

The resort is very easy to get to (Anilao in general, actually). With SLEX-Sucat as kilometer 0, it’s only about 120 kilometers away—70% of which will be spent driving pedal-to-the-metal at the now-connected SLEX and Star Tollway. All traffic aside, that’s an hour and forty-five minutes tops.

From the end of Star Tollway:

1. Take the 2nd roundabout and simply go about as if you were going to the Batangas Pier
2. Do not go up the overpass; stay to the right and make a right going to Mabini
3. Waste 15-20 minutes on this 5-kilometer stretch of pure traffic hell
4. Make a right on Jolibee
5. Follow the road and find the ocean to your left
6. Keep going until you reach a Y intersection
7. On the intersection, choose the road with the diver’s statue (right)
8. Go straight until you reach the end of the road
9. You are now at the Anilao Pier and you have no business there
10. Go back 50 meters and take the first right
11. Climb the mountain for about 15 kilometers
12. Be wary of the signs, Eagle Point should be on your right

Now, here’s where it gets odd

Once you finally make that right going towards the resort, you’ll be greeted by a sign that says: “Your adventure starts here.” Take a minute to digest every word of that sentence for nothing can be further from the literal truth.

Remember all that mountain climbing you did on step 11 above? You will now reverse that until you reach sea level once again, but this time in a hellishly steep descent that spans maybe 2 kilometers. So, that’s 15 kilometers going up compressed to 2 kilometers going down. All this on a one-lane road that can give even the most seasoned off-roader a run for his money. Incoming traffic? Forget about it. One tire slip and you’re dead.

Okay, if you make it alive (hopefully), you’ll finally reach the parking area. Take note: parking area. So, where’s the resort? As it turns out, the journey is just not over yet. You’re still going to have to ride their shuttle and go on an even steeper descent that only local drivers familiar with the terrain can handle. I guess they really need to do this to prevent accidents and to avoid being sued. By the way, by shuttle I mean pampasaherong jeep. This is where you’ll be literally holding on to dear life while preventing your stuff from falling off. Fun. Adventure indeed.

Going back to the parking area. There you’ll be greeted by a big sign reminding you of the resort’s policies. Corkage fees and the like. At this point, we’re like, “Naku, strict kaya?” Now, here’s where it becomes funny. You have to know that we traveled with my mom (and sister). My mom is a character—a classic tita/lola if you may. The baon na adobo is already a given among Pinoys. Bump that up 5 notches higher so you can imagine our baon game. Among our stuff—placed in open-top S&R shopping bags—are (with no exaggeration): a rice cooker (filled to the brim with cooked rice), cooked adobo (of course), cooked tocino, cooked talong, a set of plates and utensils, uncooked hotdogs, a styrofoam cooler, and a 5-gallon mineral water jug. Yes, the 5-gallon one, the round one that you put upside down on a dispenser, and not even the one with a built-in faucet. So, you can just imagine our reactions when they asked, “Ma’am, may baon po bang pagkain?”

Anyway—and here’s probably the only thing good that I’ll say about them—they let the corkage rule slip.

The actual review

Wait, what’s their favorite word? Well, you’re gonna have to read up until the end of this post. But first, I’ll give my thoughts on the resort itself.

The first thing that both me and my wife thought of when we set foot on the resort was that it reminded us a lot about Pearl Farm. Yes, Pearl Farm in Davao. Yes, we’ve been there. Yes, yung 14.5k/night (yabang mo, gago). Now, that’s saying a whole, whole lot. Don’t get me wrong, it’s no Pearl Farm (labo), but the layout is almost entirely the same—by the mountain, cottages facing the open sea, long walk to the cottage, swimming pools at both ends.

Now, make Pearl Farm much older (weathered) and bump the baduy factor up by 10 and you get Eagle Point.

Here’s another thing you need to know about the resort: there’s no beach. Although that’s typical of Anilao resorts, I still feel it’s worth stressing. What you get when you reach the land-sea divide are rocks of all sizes, and depths that are snorkeling-ready in just a couple of meters.

There are 3 swimming pools within the resort. A multi-level kiddie/adult pool with a slide, and another adult pool at the far end of the resort. There is also a saltwater diving pool of some sort, with actual baby sharks in it. True story. You can swim in it, but I think its main purpose is for newbie divers to practice in on before going open sea. What we didn’t like about the pools? They’re green. Having lived in houses with pools for most of my life, green water only means one thing: lumot. A clean, untreated pool will start blue, they slowly turn green after all the swimming action.

The rooms are okay. I can only speak for the double that we got. It’s a separated, 2-unit cottage with a balcony each. This means you’ll be making friends with your neighbor should you go to the balconies simultaneously. It’s quite spacious and we were able to fit 2 extra single beds with room to spare. There’s a mini ref, a safe, standard 32-inch (or bigger, not sure) TV, the works. Bathroom is okay in size, but water pressure is weak. Aircon is small for the size of the room.

What else? There’s a restaurant with a nice view (called Eagle’s Nest, I believe) that we only got to try during breakfast—because of our baon. The buffet breakfast is okay for the price (the selection).

Staff are courteous and will greet you every chance they get. That’s something.

By the way, being that it’s called Eagle Point, there are actual eagles in captivity (cages) inside.

Now, about their favorite word

Here you go: EXTRA

Yes, their favorite word is extra. As in, “Ma’am may extra charge po.” “Ma’am, extra na po yun.”

I kid you not.

From the moment we set foot there, I swear to Judas. Okay, so there’s the corkage (which they let go, and we greatly appreciate it), then there’s the additional charge for extra persons which is PHP 1,000 per head per night (with breakfast, at least), so you better book a room that is one-is-to-one to your group.

When we finally got to the room, we were exhausted from the heat so naturally, we needed cold drinks. We didn’t have ice—not that we forgot about it, mind you (don’t underestimate my mom)—so we had to order from the front desk. Guess what? May extra. PHP 20 + 10% tax!

WiFi? No problem. PHP 168 lang per night, PER USER.

Snorkeling gear? Meron. PHP 300 lang. Additional PHP 200 for the aqua shoes. (Sino ba namang hindi mag a-aqua shoes doon eh bungad palang ‘sang damakmak na ang sea urchins.)

During checkout, my sister wanted to charge the butal via card just so she won’t have any change (barya). Guess what? Because she wanted to charge an amount that is below their minimum charge amount, may EXTRA.

In fairness

Mura ang per night sa Eagle Point. (By the way, there’s a day trip option of PHP 500 per head.) We paid around 3.5k/night for a double room (not really sure if it’s a “double” cause the bed sure looks like a king). Nasira lang naman kasi 4 adults kami so we ended up paying +2,000.

Besides, nahiya naman ako kasi may nag-comment sa post ko sa Microtel—kung maka reklamo daw ako, 3.5k/per night lang naman pala binayaran.

Also, Eagle Point Resort is a dive resort. After all, Anilao is the diving capital of the…I don’t know. They have their own island if you want white-sand beach, but you have to pay extra.

Finally, here’s another reason why we disliked this resort so much. Last year we were also in Anilao. We went to a resort called Sea’s Spring. It’s a little bit farther but it’s basically in the same vicinity as Eagle Point. Same price, bigger, roomier place; bigger, better pools. It has a really, really hot hot spring; there’s no corkage, no stupid extra charges. All in all, so much better. Had we not gone there, we’d probably be quite okay with Eagle Point.

Overall: Neutral

P.S. Bitin ka pa? Check mo yung photo blog ko kung saan mas maraming litrato at kwento!

That week between Christmas and New Year’s is a great time to travel—little to no traffic, most are already on VLs anyway, great weather, and the overall atmosphere is just light and merry. However, and unfortunately for us, nothing major (major, major?) was penciled up so we had to settle for a day trip. Amidst the post-Christmas rush and mandatory family get-togethers, we found a date: December 27, 2015. The place: Bataan.

Why Bataan? Because Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar. Maybe it got too much media mileage. Heck, even I—who on a good week will spend an absolute maximum of 2 hours on the ol’ tube—chanced upon a feature. A show with Drew Arellano, if I remember correctly. That and the recommendation of some titas from the missus’ side of the family, and it was a go.

Getting there

Simple: Waze the fuck it up. But okay, because people look up to me as a travel blogger (hihi), follow this: exit San Fernando, get past the Pampanga towns, then follow the signs. Seriously, it’s as easy as pie. What you need to know, though, is that the travel is pleasant and the roads are nice. Trust me. Bring your lowered car for crying out loud (wait, “stanced” na pala ngayon). All in all, the trip shouldn’t take you more than 4 hours.

Wait, commute ka lang? Ay, poor.

The place

Let me tell you what this place is all about. It’s old houses from different parts of the country taken down, transported and rebuilt piece by piece in this rich businessman’s spare lupa. Imagine the lengths these people had to go through. Why they did it? Who knows, but it sure makes for a good and one-of-a-kind attraction.

There are 10 or so houses there, most without any significant historical importance except that they’re really old. The houses have been turned into makeshift museums (featuring more old stuff) and Bahay sa Balete-like hotels. Seriously, you can rent anything there from a room to a whole multiple-room mansion (enough for a small company outing). Prices range from medyo mahal to outrageously expensive. We heard rates going up to PHP 300,000 per night for the biggest ones. Truth.

Walk-through

When you get to the place, park your car at the designated parking area which is just before the main entrance. There you will also find a small, unpretty registration booth where you pay the entrance fee. It’s around 600 for a day pass and around 1,200 (I think) for a day pass with buffet (tanginang blogger ito hindi manlang iresearch ang tamang fees). I suggest you get the one without the buffet; all the foods we saw inside were overpriced so I fear for the buffet being not sulit.

By the way, all of this is under the assumption that you’re not going to sleep there.

Okay, once inside, the only logical thing left to do is join a guided tour. Guided tours are scheduled every couple of hours or so so there’s no rush, and there’s no extra charge. It is, however, entirely by foot (but you can ride the free service jeep going back to the starting point once done). The tour is nothing but a house-to-house. The guides speak of mildy- to semi-interesting facts about each house—where it was originally from, the family that owned it, the condition they found it in, yada yada—but they will not skimp on letting you know of its nightly rate, the amenities and/or special features (such as a full-time butler), and if it’s available or not.

Word of advice: wear easy-to-remove footwear. Shoes are not allowed inside any of the houses. There are 14 houses.

Thoughts

Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar is one of those places wherein you can never take a bad picture. It’s kind of like Ilocos (or an old church). The houses are aliw to some extent, but most lack in historical significance to make you go “ooh”.

They have a small pool for the guests and the property is literally by the beach. The beach is okay, usable, and very long (both length and width), but is definitely not white. To my eyes they’re gray-brown.

Like I said, the snacks and drinks there are overpriced. Think Valkyrie prices. We did not get to try the buffet, but I’m quite happy (and relieved) with that decision.

A small tram that’s designed to go around the property is currently under development so that should be something to look forward to.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. We didn’t get to finish the guided tour. We also didn’t get to go inside all of the houses. The sun was super pasikat that day and for some reason, we all could not up our disposition to match the energy needed for all the walking, the removing of shoes, the wearing of shoes, the taking of pictures, etc. (well, except for my wife, maybe). Every time we’d encounter a big shaded tambayan, we’d stop for 10-20 minutes. Look, we’re not an old group; the aggregate current age of our group would probably fall in the mid-twenties. But it was so painfully gruesome. It’s like having all this magnificent architecture surrounding you but not having the energy to enjoy all of it. Weird.

It’s a good place. It’s a testament to one man’s love for old Filipino-Spanish architecture (as per research, a certain Gerry Acuzar). Being beside the ocean is a plus. The location is excellent; I love the fact that you have to reserve a day/road trip for it. Transforming it into a business is a necessity (for maintenance costs) but it takes away from the authenticity of the experience in a kind of “sellout” way, even though it is quite understandable.

Overall: Recommended.

P.S. By the way, you will not need an entire day for this. We were still able to visit another attraction—Mount Samat National Shrine—so watch out for that on the next post.

P.P.S. Shared Bataan gallery will be created when I finish the Mount Samat post.

Read the first part here.

Lubao International Balloon Festival 2015

March

Okay, what to say about this event-slash-day trip? Short and tiring, perhaps. I remember the need to be at the venue by 6:00 AM just so we can see the balloons pre-flight. I remember being promised a ride on one of the balloons only to realize later that even if it had happened—which is a long, long, long shot—it probably would’ve been the worst idea ever. Why? Because we’d end up in the middle of nowhere once the balloon runs out of steam (hot air?). Add to that its inherent lack of safety and/or life-saving plan B options in case something goes wrong.

I know now. This festival makes for great, colorful photos; you’d best unleash the photographer in you. It’s a good side trip; the events happen so fast that you’d be left with nothing else to do come 9:00 AM. The sun will burn you; bring loads of sunscreen and/or umbrellas. Bring a kite; the kite-flying conditions are perfect. Other than those, it’s a good 2-hour-tops drive from the metro (Lubao, Pampanga), and about an hour-and-a-half away from Subic.

I have decided to create a standalone gallery for this event because the photo colors are just so nice.

Privato is too hipster for its own good

April

There are two times in a year we’re sure to hotel it up: NYE and Holy Week. The latter is normally reserved for cheaper, boutique-style hotels that are enough to bring us comfort during itaga-mo-sa-batong-mangyayaring Maynilad holy week service interruptions.

Privato is a newish artsy-fartsy hotel along Shaw—a little before and opposite Capitol Commons/Ynares. It’s got a nice, modernistic, minimalist feel to it (I’m obviously not equipped to describe architectural things). Bottom line is it’s clean and stylish. The rooms are okay; the gym is small; the rooftop pool is small and cold. There’s also a restaurant with a nice overlooking view of the Kapitolyo area. Bonus when staying here: Kapitolyo hipster eats. (Look, I don’t really know what hipster means when describing people, let alone places, so whatever.)

Ark Avilon Zoo is barely a zoo

April

Let’s consider this a side note because this is just field trip for our baby’s summer class. I guess what I really want to say is, “Hey, there’s a small zoo in the Tiendesitas area that you probably do not know of. Check it out.” Bring your kids there. You’d be done in 2, 3 hours so there’s plenty of time to hit the Ortigas malls.

Forget Ilocos, there’s Pililla Wind Farm

April

Ah, me likey. Thanks to my tito’s odd place of choice for spending his semi-retirement—Sitio Bugarin, Pililla, Rizal—we got to see this hidden, relatively unexplored gem. My tito has an up-the-bundok, farm-like place that’s literally a stone’s throw away from the first few windmills.

The place is still being developed and the windmills are not yet fully operational. We were able to get up close to some of the windmills, though, but there were areas we weren’t allowed to go to because of construction safety issues. By the way, to add to the whole haciendero experience, we commissioned local workhorses for the trek.

I feel this is going to be somewhat of a road trip/day trip tourist spot in the near future. They’re just gonna have to develop the place with the public in mind, and maybe put up some restaurants. By the way, wind generators weren’t put up here for nothing. There’s an endless supply of nakakalunod na hangin everywhere. My uncle says it’s like that the whole year round, save for a couple of days during summer. Oh, and depending on your vantage point, you also get a super nice view of Laguna lake.

What’s not to like? The trip. You can reach the place two ways: via Laguna and via Antipolo. We went the Antipolo route because it’s significantly nearer. Unfortunately, you’re gonna have to traverse 2-3 hours of traffic, small, busy roads, palengkes, etc. so the travel is not that pleasant (for the driver).

Side note 2: The Mind Museum

June

Hey look, check out The Mind Museum at BGC. It’s a must-visit if you have inquiring minds.

Nothing more to add. The place is cool and sulit.

Sea’s Spring Hotel Resort, Anilao, Batangas

June

Sea’s Spring. Sea’s Spring. What an odd, hard-to-pronounce name. Well, it’s Korean so there’s that. I just realized that I wasn’t really in blogger mode during this trip, so I don’t have review-like photos of the resort.

So, what is the main selling point of this resort? The hot springs, I guess. Yep, they have 3 (maybe 2) small pools of varying burn-your-skin hotness. That’s in addition to the two big ones with water slides. The resort is huge; it’s quite nice, to be honest, but the beach area ain’t no beach. Anilao is of course a diver’s haven so it’s not really know for its beaches. We did some island hopping and were able to do some snorkeling, but like I always say, once you’ve snorkeled (is that even a word?) in Mindoro, you’d be hard to impress.

Terrazas de Punta Fuego Gilid

October

Keyword: gilid. We did a beach/seaside-themed Halloween this year. It was my eldest sister’s birthday celebration (and treat) and it was meant to be Verzo clan reunion of sorts. Okay, why gilid? Because the rest house we stayed in was literally out of the boundaries of Punta Fuego. However, because it’s so gilid, there’s no other way of getting there except via their gate/property. You can clearly see the chicken wire bakod that divides the two.

Okay, so Terrazas Gilid is in Nasugbu. I have to say, I didn’t expect the beach there to be that nice—I’m really confused with all the Batangas beach areas and how it varies from super ugly to super nice. The rest house is nice too. It has 3 rooms and is made for a big family/group. I’m not sure how we got it, nor if it’s open to the public, but it sure looks quite exclusive.

Date sa Hong Kong

November

Finally, an out-of-the-country trip.

I have one life goal that goes as such: visit Hong Kong at least once a year. Hong Kong is just such an addicting place. It’s clean, orderly, small, cold (oh right, I don’t like HK during the hot months), foreign but not too foreign, near, etc. So there’s all that, but this trip was made even more special because ’twas a date of sorts for me any my wife—naks! Sundan na ‘yan!

Look, I don’t really want to blog about HK because there’s really nothing about it that hasn’t been written yet, so I’ve decided to do two things: (1) create a gallery photo blog, and (2) write a short editorial-like post on my realizations from this trip. When the second one will be finished, I do not know.

Click here for the Hong Kong mega photo blog.

Happy new year, bitches!

How I wish I could make fun of travel bloggers but there are those who are really hardcore about it. And when you see their posts, it’s like, “Jesus, umuwi ka naman minsan!” Career talaga.

Any horse, I just want to post another update and the least I can think of is a travel compilation. Mind you, though, this is going to get a little boring at times. I just finished compiling the list of places we did this year and sadly, I may have to include Star City just to fill the page. Panalo.

Starting the year at Richmonde Hotel

2014-New Year’s Day

We are a hotel-staycation type of family. And because we’re so over firecrackers and fireworks (as in overly scared), we just see to it that we’re somewhere high enough to have a panoramic view of all the putukan action. We were lucky enough to get a corner room on the fronting-Megamall side, so we got to see the Chinese-Greenhills fireworks competition of whose-business-did-best-this-year.

Richmonde Hotel is quite old. You can easily tell by the condition of the carpets and upholstery of sofas and chairs. But overall, I guess it’s doing quite well for its age. Besides, four words more than make up for its minor shortcomings: heated indoor fucking pool.

Another good thing about Richmonde is you need not take your car out until checkout. You can walk to Megamall and Shang and buy anything you need or might need; there are also 7-Elevens, Family Marts, Mini Stops left and right.

For two nights on a two-queen room we spent about 10 grand which is really good (considering the dates).

Star City — oh, yes

January

So nakakahiya. You know what? Who cares. Prior to this we haven’t actually been to the place—I’m sure I have as a child, but I really can’t remember. Star City is an okay place that you should go to once and get over with.

Two things that stuck with me on this trip: the Ferris wheel and the artificial snow thing (Snow World). However, the artificial snow thing, that is something else. As for the Ferris wheel, there’s nothing really special about it but I think I remember it because of the view—bay area Manila—which no other local Ferris wheel offers.

Okay, let me tell you something about Snow World. It’s painfully brutally cold. Duh? No, you know nothing (John Snow!?). It should not be considered an attraction. It’s a fucking torture chamber. Yung sipon mo ba naman maging yelo. Saka yung anak ko, mangiyak-ngiyak na. Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little, but still. Look, I like cold—I’m aircon royalty, hello—and I have a high tolerance for it, but this is a different monster. Although sorry ha, I’ve never experienced real snow kasi.

Buena Vista Park and Country Club, Talisay, Batangas

February

This is one of those places no one will ever go to unless they’re from the area, or at least know someone who is. Case in point: the place is close to my wife’s family’s place in Batangas called Cale. It is quite a shame, though, because the place is neat and provides a great view of Taal. It’s just not close enough to Taal—or anything else, for that matter—to be a side trip. It reminds me a bit of Punta Fuego, but with much less houses.

We went there to celebrate the 85th birthday of the head lola of my wife’s family.

Paradizoo, help me make a stand

March

On our baby’s birthday, we wanted to go to Fun Farm at Santa Elena (as per the recommendation of my idol blogger and hot mama crush). They were booked crazy—I guess from all the mileage they got from blogs and stuff—so we had to find something else. Hence, Paradizoo.

Paradizoo is a small zoo-cum-farm in Tagaytay. It’s close to the usual places and is very doable in half a day, so you can do that and visit whichever other Tagaytay attraction your heart desires after. It may be a small farm but do take the guided kalabaw tour anyway and spare yourself the walking exercise.

I wish I can remember more things about this place but it’s freaking nine months already. Oh, there’s a small entrance fee and you can buy stuff like fresh goat’s milk.

Visiting Boracay as a tatay

Finally, a peaceful Boracay—one where there’s absolutely no pressure to go out at night and party. The only trade-off? The having to carry the baby. Yes, our daughter is at this weird age where she’s heavy but not too heavy to be carried, and walks but is a little too slow. So, being that I was with 4 girls, punctuality is not high on the priority list. Now, imagine rushing from our hotel in station 2 to the boat docks on station 1 just make it to our 10:30 AM island hopping tour. Tanggal-kamay fun.

I want to mention two things about this Boracay trip: the annoying Astoria Boracay marketing tactic and helmet diving. The other events and/or places, well, they’re non-blogables.

That annoying Astoria Boracay marketing tactic

Do you guys know what I’m talking about here? I’m sure many have been harassed by these people. If you’re lucky, you’ll encounter one of their marketing soldiers even before you ride the boat at the Caticlan Jetty Port. By the time you arrive at your hotel—especially if there’s some beachfront walking involved—you would’ve encountered at least 2-3 more of these Astoria people.

What they do to lure people to bite is to provide a free buffet meal. No strings attached, just a free meal. Imagine that. But because people are not necessarily dumb, it’s quite obvious that there’s a catch to it. If and when you accept the invitation—and you will—you up your defenses and promise yourself that you won’t give in to whatever they’re selling. And because you’re already a tad bit annoyed, you’re thinking, “Yeah, I’m gonna teach these people a lesson and waste their time and food.”

So you come to the buffet. A bit fancy; hotel style. Lots of food, the works. You eat with your peeps. For their troubles of filling your stomachs, you agree to listen to a short presentation. Keyword: short. Well, guess what? You just wasted 4 hours of your time. Yup, it’s fucking that long. That’s if you have no plans of buying anyway. Show some interest and it will get longer. If you bought, I’m sure you have wads of cash lying around and I won’t judge you.

Have you guys heard of Club Ultima? Same banana. Free hotel accommodation if you agree to hear out their presentation. What they’re selling are memberships to their exclusive hotel club; you use this membership to gain access and get discounts to hotels around the world which they have tie-ups with. These clubs are usually backed by some mildly successful hotel chain—e.g. Crown Regency for Club Ultima, and Astoria chain for whatever-the-fuck-club-name these Boracay people are part of. Truth be told, it’s probably a good deal. Heck, if people the likes of Manny Pacquiao are members, then thorough financial analyses must’ve happened. Har, har.

Helmet diving — I’m scurred

I’m not chicken when it comes to adventurous things. To tell you the truth, I did not hesitate one bit during the planning stages of this activity (I must’ve even pushed for it). My wife’s usually the one who’s reluctant to try these things and I’m the one who’s, “Sus.”

Look, it’s not scary. It’s just a bit uncomfortable. Way too uncomfortable. Helmet diving is having a super heavy helmet on you which acts as your personal air bubble under the sea. The idea is that this helmet is so heavy that it stays upright all the time and will not topple over, hence will not be filled with water. Because if it does, you die. Simple as that. Nah, you actually just go down maybe 20, 30 feet tops so there’s plenty of time to swim up to safety.

If you’re ears are sensitive, do not try this ever. The pressure will destroy your eardrums in no time. I exaggerate.

Now, for some reason, I could not keep my helmet perfectly upright. It wanted to lean forwards, which put tremendous pressure on my neck. I couldn’t enjoy the underwater scenic showcase. By the way, the guide divers there will also ask you to take the helmet off for 2-3 seconds for a photo op. If you’re with a sweetheart, they will even ask you to do a helmets-off underwater smooch photo op. Fucking baduy. But, we did it anyway. No wonder my wife enjoyed this activity a little too much.

That’s it. This trip was a bit short—3 full days—but wasn’t bitin by any measure. See, if you stay sober enough to be able to wake up early in the morning, you’ll be able to do lots more.

By the way, I have decided to revive my gallery. I have uploaded a major Boracay 2015 album complete with commentary. Check it out. (Please.)

Oops…

Once again, once I start blogging, I can’t stop blogging. I’m gonna have to cut this here because I don’t want to go past 1,500 words (which no one really has the attention span for anyway). Abangan ang part two.

Okay, here goes; I’m in a “blogger” mood.

Baby goes to school

Having a baby—all that growing up, all the memories, all the milestones that happen in 2, 3 years—it all just happens so fast. One day you’ll simply wake up and realize, “Holy shit, this is the year my baby starts school.” Of course there are monetary concerns, but if you are at the very least half-decent parents, you know it’s going to happen no matter what. And, believe you me, you will find a way.

Baby went to summer school first, which we’re glad we did, and now goes to regular pre-kinder (same school). She goes to one of the best, if not the best preparatory camps down south (love your own). Adjusting to this 2-hour/day schedule must’ve been the biggest logistical change we’ve done in the past half-decade or so.

Okay, you know how every parent thinks their baby is the cutest, most adorable, miniature human being in the world? There are also those who think their baby is the smartest, most mature, most advanced-for-his/her-age gifted child there is. We’re the same, however, ours is backed by report cards. Baby really is at the top of her class. It might be a small class, but top is top nonetheless. I’d like to think reading to her almost every night from when she was around 1 to 3 years old helped.

I’m still an online warrior

I’ve just about had it explaining to people that I make a living online. I wish I could say I never had a 9-5 job since graduating college, but my record has since been tarnished (and only recently, at that). I went to work for my friend’s company 2011-2013, and it really was my first real job, peks man. This is, of course, outside of family businesses, some consulting shit, etc.

These days I simply say I manage the family food business, which I do anyway. But I still have websites that earn via affiliate marketing, text links, banners, all that jazz. There is, however, one big change to this whole online business game thingy that I’m playing. Around 2 years ago, I started learning about selling physical products via Amazon. I dug really, really deep into it and now I’m proud to say that I already have products up there. Don’t believe me? I don’t care.

Plus—and because of the curiosity sparked by Fulfillment by Amazon—I chanced upon the local/Asian version of it. Do you know what site I’m talking about? You’ve probably bought something on it already. The site is a goldmine if you have the right products and really learn the ins and outs of it, but it has already become too saturated for the sellers. Needless to say, I’m doing good from it (knock-knock), but it’s not a sit-back-and-relax type of thing.

So there, everything still happens online, except now I have to worry about the puhunan factor.

Getting ready to launch my brand, and a physical store, perhaps

All this selling ultimately led me to dream of having my own private label brand. I won’t divulge details for now, but you already know that it’s going to be music related. What the hell else, playah? I will announce this here because it is a big thing for me. (That is if I’ll still be in blogger mode 2-3 months from now.)

Bembang Productions wanted to be a lot of things

I revived Bembang Productions last year. However, after 3 or so shows, I realized this whole production thingy needs to stop or change. It’s doing little to no good for the scene, the bands, and me. On the last prod, I wanted to move the operations online, so I hired audio and video guns. It was a flop, however, due to technical difficulties, so now I am still without a video channel (at the very least).

2 gigs this year. The Skychurch/Erectus gig (mentioned above) tanked, which I really do not understand why. Stellar lineup, good promotion (which I paid for), but walang tao. Taena, Skychurch pa naman.

The Hale gig, however, was something else. That night belongs to the Bembang Productions top list.

I do have the video for the Skychurch gig but with so-so audio only, so maybe I’ll still upload it sometime.

Still rockin’

At this age—and because most of us have experienced 2, maybe 3 years of not playing—it really is all about what music does for us, and not we can do for it. Gets? Because making music with 3-4 other guys and being able to do it even if it’s just once a month is so much better than, well, not.

However, since internet na ang banatan ngayon, sali kami. I guess we’ll just keep on playing and releasing new songs until one member of the band dies (morbid shit). This is especially true for my band Holding Hands, because we honestly like each other (gay shit). Yung Hiraya naman, or the one with the female vocalist, we have this new lineup that’s still trying to be whole. (Oh, and we have this hot, new, rockin’ tattoo artist of a vocalist.)

We solved our transportation woes

Last year, our family had major transpo and logistics issues. I’d have to say it’s mainly my fault, because of my junk shop of a ride. That and our ailing Toyota Vios, aka Viyong, which hasn’t had any rest since 2012 or so. This year, my sister made it her mission to solve it once and for all.

Enter Briyong. The cutesy little Honda that gave us some breathing room on transportation matters. Take note, my chubby sis did all this just in time for my baby’s schooling. Proud of my sis for taking care of the family, and for buying her first real car.

Ako naman, hindi ako nagpatalo. Just this month, actually, I bought a pang-service—a base-model Suzuki APV, which shall henceforth be known as APVer. (Look, we name all our cars somewhat after our late father, okay? His name’s Virgilio.)

Back then I would’ve never imagined myself as someone who would buy a van, let alone a base model, but business muna. At least kakulay niya yung inaasam kong GT-R.

My soon-to-be Green Archer

Tell you what, none of these (none of the above) trumps the news that we got just a couple of days ago. My little baby tum-tum, my baby stinky feet, my silly chee-chee funk just passed her DLSZ entrance exam. Look, I’m sure almost all kids get in easily, but it was still nerve-wracking. So much so that I got the results a day before on the website, which no one probably knew was already available.

I don’t even wanna think about the money issue at this point—which is no small matter—because I’m still on a high.

Special tributes

First, I would like to—in my own small way—pay homage to our Tita Diegs, the wife of my mother’s brother Tito Cesar. Her loss was sudden and unexpected—colon cancer; gone within 24 hours after discovery—but if there’s anything positive to take from this, that’s probably it. We still can’t believe you’re gone; we will always remember your thoughtfulness, your larger-than-life disposition, your simplicity, and how you can see the good and the happy in almost anything. You and my tito, you were truly perfect for one another. And, more than anything else, I know you lived a very, very makulay na buhay.

Second. Mother-fracking shocking news here. I have this friend from the billiards circle. We became close circa 2007-2008 because we played pool on an almost daily basis and were basically neighbors. Just recently, he killed his own brother; this in what I would imagine to be the family altercation of all family altercations. Murder is murder, but a big part of me still wants to know. What happened, man?

Finally, to my friend, my classmate, my barkada, my bandmate. (This shit is very sensitive, mind you.) This Singaporean lost his months-old firstborn son this year. It was a battle for him and his wife. It was the toughest shit I’ve ever heard in my entire life, and I can’t believe it happened to someone close to me. Truly, no parent should ever have to go through the death of their children.

Pare, and I speak in behalf of our still-in-PH barkada, I (we) would like you to know that not enough words were said only because we were simply shocked to the brim, and were mainly scared to blurt out something that would offend you instead of comfort you. I know you understand but I would still like to apologize for not being able to go to SG even for a day at the time. Do know that we will never forget Ian, ever.

(It has always been my plan to write a tribute song for him, but just in case it does not happen anytime soon, or ever, let this message fly the waves of the interwebs forever.)

There you go. I guess I really missed blogging. Watch out for the second installment wherein I’ll try once again to be a travel blogger.

Blogger ka ba? Ulul.

What? A blog post? You know it.

An interesting (business) email had me look at and open this blog to edit an entry, which kinda got my writing itch itching. I know people still find their way here but I never would have thought it’d be for something that (still) matters.

Whatever. What’s important is here I am and I’m about to drop a bomb of an update. Ready?

Joke lang.

I have become super soft, to tell you the truth. (Not that anyone really considered me otherwise before, actually). Fatherhood fucking changes you, man. I swear to Lucifer I cry at anything that revolves around a father-daughter (or general family drama) plot. Gravity? Freaking sob fest. Inside Out? Are you kidding me? Furious 7? Wait, although wala namang hindi umiyak doon.

My daughter, our daughter, is my (our) life. And there’s really no way around it. And, it really is something that people without kids—either by choice or are still too young—would never understand. Heck, I thought I understood before but boy did I knew nothing, John Snow. You know what’s funny, though? Any childless person who claims they’re busy. Yes, any, as in all of you. It doesn’t matter if you’re the CEO of Apple, for crying out loud. You still have that 1-2 hours of alone time before you sleep.

Not that I’m complaining, but, wait, yes, I actually am. Being a parent is hard. But I would never—not in a million lifetimes—have it any other way.

But enough of the drama. I love my daughter and she’s my universe and all that shit, but what about me? Actually, I just realized that it would be impossible to give a life update without her in the picture so just deal with it. Okay?

Oh, holy crap, I just had an epiphany. Midway through writing this post, I realized I had tons of shit to say, so I’ve decided to segregate. My 2015 series of posts will now be like this:

• 2015: The events
• 2015: The places
• 2015: The things, online shit, and special mentions

Once done, you’ll see the stuff above linked. Excited ka na? Don’t be. Joke.

(Wait, if there’s PAPAble and LOLOlicious, I guess I’m TITOllating.)

March 22, 2014 — Having lived my entire life south of Manila, Enchanted Kingdom has always been part of the options for quick getaways—especially if we’re up for something a little more than mall bumming, but a lot less than a semi-impromptu overnight. The place is off-city so it’s definitely a lakad, it provides cheap thrills and group/family bonding scenarios, and you can be yourself without having to worry about anyone you know seeing you. For lack of a better term, you can go all out and be baduy—sling a belt bag balikbayan-style or wear man sandals with socks, for crying out loud. No one will care.

This may have been my 5th time to EK (6th, maybe). All I know is my last time there was in 2007; April 1, 2007, to be exact. My then-girlfriend, now-wife had a friend who had a Brit boyfriend. He had about 2 weeks here and we were tasked to fill the void between out-of-towners, so we mostly did doable-in-a-day, reachable-by-car trips. Hence, Enchanted Kingdom. I also remember this vividly because I was already blogging then, and I documented it photo blog-style. (Of course, I could’ve just said that.)

This trip, however, was kind of set upon us. We spent NYE (New Year’s Eve) at Crimsom Hotel in Alabang, and they had a tie-up. We got 8 full-pass tickets that were to expire March 31, 2014. I have 1 daughter and 1 wife (yes, 1); none from my side of the family could go (or wanted to go) so we auctioned it off to my wife’s mega-extended family. Besides, they had more younglings than our already-old family. It all turned out for the best and we ended up with a group of about 15—age ranged from 9 months to 34 years.

So, what is there to blog about an old theme park?

Nothing, really. Not much has changed with the park but there were some attractions that were new to me. More than anything, I just wanted to observe the current state of our only theme park. Degradation was to be expected; I simply wanted to know if it has aged well (has been maintained well).

Truth be told, and all factors considered, I had a hard time deciding whether to give it a thumbs up or a thumbs down (or an up yours). Not until our trip back home that I decided to give it an OK. If you’re very particular with colors—painted surfaces, condition of materials, rust, etc.—it’d be very easy to give it a fail. But, a big factor to the reversal of my sentiment was when we read that the park was to be closed indefinitely for maintenance. The condition of the park was one that was on the brink of a big maintenance cycle, and there we read it. Don’t get me wrong, the park was clean and still above average, it was just a little worn out.

Whatever, though. I just want to write. That’s my opinion, anyway. Let’s just start posting photos so I’ll remember what really liked and what stunk.

By the way, visiting Enchanted Kingdom as a tatay (and a chaperone, at that) is a whole lotta different. You get to ride the kiddiest of rides! Haha, nah, It’s just a whole lot tiring—with a lot of waiting, a lot of waiting for your turn, and a lot of riding alone. I’m all out for thrill rides so I had my solo moments.

The photos

A word of warning: there are 64 mo-fuckin’ photos here. If you don’t really know me or have better things to do, scram.

Waiting outside

Finally inside and the first few rides

Stuff that need repainting

Wheel of Fate – the view doesn’t get old

Space Shuttle – The Epic Selfie Series

Anchor’s Away, etc.

I wasn’t able to ride Anchor’s Away because we couldn’t separate our group to two batches. No biggie. I remember what that ride feels like and I know it’s just paulit-ulit na lula. Nothing lost.

Up, Up & Away, etc.

EKstreme – P*TA! with a capital P*TA!!!

Let me tell you something about the EKstreme drop tower—it’s the most heart attack ride I’ve ever ridden. And yes, I’ve ridden a lot of rides, at least more than the average person—US, HK, SG. Part of it’s probably because it’s my first time to do one of these drop thingies, but still…it sure is something. I rode this alone as no one dared.

Let me try to describe how it felt. It’s about 5 seconds of pure heart-pumping, all-muscles-flexed, eyes-shut-as-hard-as-you-can action. It’s not mamamatay ka scary, it’s just INTENSE. I’d do it again anytime, any day.

Rialto, Flying Fiesta, Fun Kart, Disk-O-Magic, etc.

Okay, here’s the last batch of photos. By this time it was already getting dark, we were all already really tired and hungry, and we were just waiting for the fireworks because, well, you have to wait for the fireworks.

I want to share a little something that happened right about when the photo above was taken. See, I was already so hungry so I decided to buy one of their local boxed rice thingies. I love all things boxed rice; you can go as my wife, my sister, they will all attest to that in a second. I ordered some beef-flavored thingy (I have since forgotten). My experience goes something like this: hindi ako nasuka sa kahit anong ride na sinakyan ko, pero sa kinain ko, mutikan na talaga. Alam mo yung toyo at calamansi? Ibuhos mo yun nang wagas sa kanin tas lagyan ng konting karne. True story.

EK, ilang taon ulit?