Three Years Down

I miss you guys!!

2013-01-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

It seems that some of you haven't joined me over at my new home on the web!

Swing by Where My Soul Belongs and follow via RSS, facebook, twitter or email there!

(Today I'm talking about idols and life responsibilities.)

It's Time to Move On...

2012-12-24T12:18:00.000-08:00

It appears that some of you are still hanging out here.

I'd love for you to come visit me at my new home and spend time with me there!

Over At Where My Soul Belongs...

2012-12-18T10:32:00.001-08:00

There is a day of silence.

Won't you join me at my new home on the web while we honor those sweet babies taken from us way too soon?

It's My Birthday & I have a Blog Altering Announcement!

2012-12-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

My heart is still breaking for those babies in Connecticut and all of their families. I had scheduled this announcement quite some time ago and struggled with whether or not to proceed. Between today and Monday, neither day would feel right. So I am moving forward as planned while praying deeply and full heartedly for everyone effected. If I could reach out and hug every single one of those sweet kids and their families, I would do it until I could no longer hold my arms up.

via

Today is my birthday.

I am officially 27, and really not thrilled about it. I've noticed more wrinkles and a couple freckles in the past month or so. I've even caught myself turning down deals because I have more responsible things in my budget. Imagine that!! This birthday has me dwelling on where I thought I'd be at 27 and what I thought my life would look like. It wasn't anything like this.

Yet, God is working on me. He's working on my heart. Since the Influence Conference I've felt a nudging by the spirit. A voice that I can confidently say was not my own. An urging to trust in Him and put into his hands something that I love so dearly. This blog life of mine.

I am starting anew. There is a time for everything and a season for everything under the sun.

And with an emotional typing of my fingers I have to tell you: It's time for Three Years Down to go.

I've loved it here. I love this blog. I love all of you. I love what this blog has always represented, but that's the issue. This blog was about waiting for what life would be. This blog was about ME. I don't want it to be about me, and my blogging, and my followers, and my successes and failures anymore. I want to reflect his glory and his faithfulness. He has so faithfully brought me out of the pit I dug myself into this year.

Now, He has shown me where my soul belongs.

I invite you (so desperately invite you) to come along side me in this journey.

www.WhereMySoulBelongs.com

with dear, dear love and tears in my eyes,

As I Begin Preparing for Bar Exam in State #2....

2012-12-12T13:46:00.004-08:00

Pre-Post Business: There will be a wild and crazy announcement at the end of this week! Make sure to stick around for more details :).
I have officially started studying for bar exam #2. I can't believe it's really happening! So for my own encouragement, and anyone else suffering through February's exam with me, I thought I'd take a post from the Archives. I'm back to feeling like every second matters and the world of fun has taken second place. It's really a bummer ;).

Quick Note to Bar Takers

SATURDAY, JULY 16, 2011

I have noticed a sudden increase in blog hits coming from google so I checked it out tonight.

The topics that brought some of you here include Bar Bri, Bar Bri Practice Exam and Bar Bri Constantly on the Verge of Tears. The last one seriously made me want to give that person a hug. So, if you're reading this now, know I'm sending a hug and good vibes your way.

I just wanted to tell you all, YOU CAN DO THIS. You can. I swear it. You can survive until the exam, you can survive during the exam, you can survive the obnoxiously long wait to find out the results of the exam, and you WILL survive if you pass or fail the exam. You will.

I know it's hard. We all (meaning all of us bloggers who have been through it at least once) understand exactly how hard it is. It was, by far, the worst few months of my life. I'd never been more miserable, exhausted or burnt out. But you just have to keep going. As my friend Megan's favorite saying goes, "Just keep swimming." So, stay strong. Do your best to stay focused. Do not get discouraged. I think the point of this exam is to make everyone feel like an idiot. At least, that's how I felt by the end.

I could go on and on about this, but you need to either (1) get back to studying; (2) eat real, healthy food; (3) take your vitamins; (4) go have a bit of fun - even though you think there is no time for even a second of fun; or (5) go to bed. Seriously.

Oh, and watch this video:

Again, I promise, YOU CAN DO THIS, and you will, and before you know it, it will be over.

I can only hope that you'll spend the day after the exam the way I did, laying on the beach, soaking up the vitamin d I so desperately missed all summer.

Let's Dream about Summer & Talk About Sandals

2012-12-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

Pre-Post Business: There will be a wild and crazy announcement at the end of this week! Make sure to stick around for more details :).

Nothing cheers me up more in the winter than remembering what it was like to have summer. In fact, the way I feel after using my awesome groupon deal (1 month of tanning for $10) is direct proof of that. That's why, when Havaianas contacted me about their newest line of sandals, I was stoked.

Why don't you join me on this journey to pretend it's not FREEZING outside. I don't know about you guys, but I'm dreaming of a sandy Christmas, not a white one!

I think my personal favorite for ladies, would also be loved by my BFF Ms. Smith. This Slim Animals style comes in various shades and is only $26!

They even have great new styles for men! I don't have any men on my shopping list this year, except my Dad, but I do recall a few ex-boyfriends who would have loved URBAN STYLE ($34-36).

The kids are going to be extra stylin' with the TOP MIX style for only $17!

The thing that I have ALWAYS loved about Havaianas is that they are such good quality. Not only should you take care of your feet and wear good shoes, these will last for a really long time. There's seriously no comparison between a pair of these and a $5 pair you may get from a big box retailer. The fit, comfort and longevity make it a no brainer.

Do you have a person on your Christmas list who loves shoes, but you're not sure which ones they'd like best? How about one who has a fabulous cruise or tropical vacation planned over the next couple months? Havaianas just started offering gift cards! That sounds like the perfect stocking stuffer to me ;).
*This is a compensated sponsor post. But, clearly, all opinion are mine.*

Things to Never Take For Granted

2012-12-03T22:43:00.001-08:00

This weekend my two law school BFFs and their husbands reunited for a surprise of epic proportions. It was one of their birthdays. Three of us teamed up with her husband to claim that none of us could make it for one of her favorite days of the year on a super special birthday (30!).

I don't know how we kept it a secret. I don't know how her husband covered for us so many times so that she wouldn't find out. I don't know how my drive went smoothly, their flight went smooth, and save for missing an exit on the freeway, the arrival at the bar went smoothly. I have no answers for the amazingness of it all.

All I know is that the look on her face when she realized "those are my people" sitting in the corner of a bar, will forever be a priceless memory in my mind.

And so, I wanted to discuss a few things I should never take for granted (in no particular order).

The amazing friends you can make in hellish situations (like law school).
The fierce and protective loyalty that four close friends can bring out.
Learning things from good friends like how to make a lot of decorations that bring your party from "birthday" to "it looks like I hired a party planner."
Friends who have stood by my side through bad relationships, silly decisions, family drama, and general law school emotional breakdowns - and taught me what everlasting friendships, healthy marriages and getting ready for an event look like.
Making good use of time - like doing my nails while I wait in the cell phone parking lot of the PDX airport.
Ordering three beverages at the Nordstrom e-bar before a shopping session with two gals I really, really missed.
Early morning conversations in our pajamas.
Party setups that come together 30 minutes early.
Delicious drink concoctions that combine homemade simple syrup, vodka and champagne.
Driving in the rain - while it can be scary, it is also so refreshing and peaceful. It also requires a lot of attention so I don't get panic attacks.
Laughter and smiles.
Shots of Goldschlager (let's be real).
Knowing that no matter what I do or say, these people know exactly where I'm coming from.
Staying up way too late to catch up.
Friends who will pull out their camera to capture a million memories.
Forever 21 and its copious amounts of flashy clothes to fit the theme of a Golden birthday.
and,
Hugs goodbye, that every.single.time bring me to tears - with friends who stop that hot mess fast, before I start ugly crying in front of the whole world.

I don't think there is any other group of people who I am so comfortable around that I laugh like this.

I tell them all the time, but I'm pretty sure they still don't know, how much these four people mean to me. <3

Do you have friends who have changed your life? Ever surprised someone in an epic way?

Tell me about it in the comments.

PS. I haven't been able to find my camera charger since I moved, so I apologize for the iPhone photos.

Fill in the Blank Friday - It's Christmas Time!

2012-11-30T09:49:00.001-08:00

It's Friday!! Wahoo! Not only do I get to wear jeans today, I'm also in a t-shirt because I'm sporting my pretty cranberry-red leather jacket. You can't wear a leather jacket with a lawyer style blouse. That's a fact. Ha!

In other news, I turn 27 in 16 days. There will be a big announcement around that time, so hold onto your seats, people. Plus, it just occurred to me that I could make a 28 before 28, and that, to be honest, makes me want throw up a little bit. I definitely do not want to be 27, and I sure as heck don't want to be 28 even though I have a feeling that will be the best year yet.

Getting old is rough, ladies. Let's talk about Christmas instead.

Fill in the Blank Friday!

1. "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is..." supposedly singing loud for all to hear... but I've never watched Elf so that's totally hearsay. I think it's being kind and loving to everyone... even the jerk in the BMW who cut me off at high speed in a construction zone this morning .

2011 at my dad and sister's house

2. The holiday season is usually full of travel and expenses. I'm also not normally a super holiday-freak. I like my birthday and I like Christmas, but I don't go crazy decorating or counting down the days. This year I'm a lot more interested than usual, so I think that's weird.

3. When it comes to holiday decorating... I don't normally do anything. I haven't had a Christmas tree in years. But this year I made a wreath and might make a few other things.

4. The thing I look forward to most about the holidays is Getting to spend time with family, even though I just said I was glad I won't be traveling.

Family Photo 2008

5. My favorite holiday tradition is opening Christmas pajamas on Christmas Eve {Me too, Lauren!}. One year my mom thought we were getting too old for it and when we opened something else on Christmas Eve we were all (in our teenage years by this point) so bummed!!!

6. This year my Christmas plans include Nothing. My Community Group is going to a Christmas light show and having an Ugly Christmas Sweater party this month, but nothing on Christmas day. Strangely, I'm looking forward to it. My life is slowly settling down and next week I {ugh!} start studying for the bar exam again. I need some peace and quiet.

7. My favorite holiday food is ham! yum!

What are you favorite traditions? Don't forget to link up with Lauren!

Miscellany Monday - The Sun was Shining

2012-11-26T00:01:00.000-08:00

To soften the blow of Monday, I like to hang out with Carissa over at lowercase letters. If you participate in miscellany monday, let me know in the comments. I'd love to read yours!

[ONE]

It was a GORGEOUS weekend in Seattle. After a week of pouring rain and roads full of standing water, God brought out the sun for the weekend.

After Church on Sunday.

[TWO] I hate when the Cowboys lose on Thanksgiving. It's extremely painful. That's all I really have to say on that subject.

Thanksgiving morning, before all hope was lost.

[THREE]

Do you use Instagram? It is, by far, my favorite social networking site. What's yours?

[FOUR]

I've been on a crafting kick lately. I made a wreath for the very first time two weeks ago, then decided to make another one as a Christmas present for a friend. I didn't consider the unusual size of a wreath until my BFF Leah warned me about the cost of shipping. Now I know that going forward, homemade wreaths will be Christmas gifts for local friends :).

[FIVE]

I love the Shabby Apple dresses. I think they are pretty popular among bloggers so you have likely heard of them. They are having an AWESOME cyber monday sale right now! If you use the promo code JOYFULSEASON you can get 20% off EVERYTHING until November 30th! Seriously!

I hope you all have a super blessed week and that Monday goes by as painlessly as possible!

My Recent Addiction

2012-11-20T20:57:00.003-08:00

CMT and coffee one Saturday morning.

I am not a huge Television/Movie fan. I will keep it on in the background, but it's usually Food Network, Cooking Channel, CMT, HGTV, MSNBC (lockup!) or Discovery. I get sucked into a series every so often, but I never know when I'll be home anymore so it's DVR or online streaming for me.

Until now. Right now I am addicted, obsessed even, with the West Wing. I have an Amazon Prime membership. I love it. I get free 2 day shipping on nearly everything. The lending library means I can choose a book for free that month on my kindle. They don't have a ton of super amazing books, but they do have The Hunger Games and Harry Potter. PLUS, they have free streaming TV and movies.

I used to make the most use of the streaming to watch documentaries before bed on my kindle. Sometimes I would watch TV shows. There are movies I'd like to see, but like I said, I'm not a huge movie person so I never have. There are even kid shows if you need to distract your kids and can't find anything on the actual TV to show them.

But now... now I have been shown the light. Amanda has been telling me for YEARS how amazing West Wing is. I believed her, because she's smart. But I never took the time to watch.

A few weeks ago I checked out the first few episodes. By episode four I was hooked. Two weeks ago I watched the Season 1 finale and Season 2 premiere in one night. That doesn't sound bad, except I HAD TO KNOW what happened next, and watch five episodes straight.

Follow me on Instagram

It has been keeping me company while I clean, paint my nails, and make Christmas decorations.

All of this to say, if you're looking for a TV distraction right now, I'd recommend the West Wing. If you need an awesome service to make your life easier all year long, and make your Christmas shopping a breeze, Amazon Prime is for you.

What's your favorite television series?

I fail at fantasy football

2012-11-15T19:40:00.000-08:00

Girls,

I have a confession.

I suck at fantasy football this year.

In past years I've been pretty great, even getting first place one or twice.

But last week solidified it. I am TERRIBLE.

Granted, I was invited to this league the night before I moved out of the ex-boyfriend's house and had about 15 minutes to prepare for the draft. But still.

There's no excuse for what happened last weekend. My BENCH scored 17 points more than my active players.

True Story.

And this is how I discovered that Yahoo has a "recap" feature to tell you what went well and what went wrong in your matchup. Here's what mine had to say:

OUCH.

Do you play fantasy football? Is your team doing better or worse than you expected?

My College BFF Got Married! {Hint: Photos a la 2004 are Included Free of Charge}

2012-11-06T08:26:00.000-08:00

What does it take to get a girl out of a blogging mind-block? A dead cell phone and a glass of wine.

I've been in a bit of an overwhelmed state for the last week. My life changes are finally hitting me, and my heart is still overcome with information and grace from The Influence Conference. Hopefully I will get my life together just in time for bar exam prep to start ;).

somewhere above WA

ANYWAY! That's not why we are here right now. Right now, we are here to celebrate my amazingly wonderful friend Stacy! Stacy and I have been friends since the first day of Geology 100 in 2004.

You know I like you when I'll post a picture of myself in college during a windstorm on my blog.

We have been through a lot of ups, downs, sleepovers and broken hearts together.

I've watched her grow into an increasingly amazing and obedient woman of Christ. She even started a blog for awhile, but then stopped. (You should get back on that, Stace.) You might recognize her from some really sweet comments she's left around TYD.

Well I am happy to announce that she is officially off the market! Not too long ago, she met the man of her dreams. And I was blessed enough to celebrate with them at a gorgeous winery in NorCal just a couple of weeks ago!

Plus, I even got to have a reunion with this lovely lady Sarah, who lived below me in the dorms freshman year of college and was dressed way more fashionably than I was. She made a fabulous date for the evening :).

Congratulations, Stacy!

The Saturday I Went on a Blind Coffee Date

2012-11-05T09:00:00.000-08:00

via

I have been in Seattle for a little over a month now.

As you know, I love it here.

Since I moved I have also been realizing this mess of a ministry God is showing me I have. The ministry of singleness.

By no means do I feel called to singleness. I know there are girls that have that calling - and in my mind they are brave, amazing women. But I'm starting to see how God can use my singleness for his glory.

Until last month I thought being single meant I was useless. I had no idea God not only wanted me in this "relationship status," but he wanted to USE me in it.

At community group last Tuesday night I was talking to a lady whose daughter is 26, single and struggling with it. She gave me her daughter's number and said we should get together. I texted her and we made plans to grab coffee on Saturday.

I chicken out a lot. If we set up a coffee date or dinner or plans to do something, I will probably want to cancel for the entire 12 hours before. I might even type out a text canceling, and then erase it. I am a homebody and introvert in disguise. If there's anything moving once a year has taught me is that the only way to not be lonely, is to leave the house. So I'm working on it.

That morning I resisted the urge to find an excuse to cancel. I showed up to meet a gal for coffee that I've never even seen before. There was the awkward, "Are you Brittany?"conversation, and then from then on it was wonderful. And we both had a good giggle that her mother had set her up on a blind date with a girl.

We went to a super cute coffee shop, shared a flat bread pizza, and became friends. God is so, so good. He is meeting me right where I am and putting people in my life who I can relate to, instead of being jealous of. He is showing me His glory instead of allowing me to wallow in my insufficiencies.

He also totally uses the way to my heart to take me out of my comfort zone - coffee.

Alki Beach, Seattle

2012-10-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Over the past month I've been at my new home, I've tried to explore the area.

I need to choose a place to live in a couple months.

Isn't it funny how some apartments look fantastic online, and then when you drive through the neighborhood you're pretty sure it's not somewhere you'd walk around during the day, let alone at night?

I am SO glad that God provided me a temporary place to live the first few months I'm in the Pacific Northwest. It has been really nice to get my bearings and figure out what neighborhood fits me (as opposed to fits will within the frame of a camera).

Today I ventured over to West Seattle. There's a California-Esq beach here called Alki. It is a serious treasure. I ate lunch at Alki Beach Cafe. The burger was amazing and the servers were nice. But the best part was the window seat, where I watched a variety of boats float by.

I made sure God knew this was where I want to be in town. (Meaning: as I drove down the main road, along the water, I said "I want to live there! That's the one! This one would be even better! I want to live here, too!" at every apartment complex/condo building I drove by. Thankfully I was in the car alone.)

God is working a serious miracle in this heart of mine. Two months ago I didn't think I'd be able to get out of bed. The (ex)Boyfriend's step mom had to come and encourage me that it would all be OK as long as I changed out of my PJs and drank a cup of coffee. It was awful. It was heart breaking. And I was terrified I'd never be the same again.

But the truth is, sisters, I'm not the same. And it's OK. It's amazing. I can see the old Brittany coming back. I am laughing again. I am having fun again. I really thought I was happy in small town. I thought my life there was as good as it could get.

I was wrong.

I was settling for so much less than God had in store for me. I pray that none of you are making the same mistake I did. There is more to life than what we think.

He has big plans for us all.

Private Practice

2012-10-26T16:33:00.000-07:00

I have been in private practice since my clerkship ended in 2010. This has looked different at all three firms (oh my resume - it pains me).

BigLaw did throw some FANTASTIC parties.

For example, in my WannabeBigLaw firm in Big City I worked insane hours and was under constant pressure to be always billing, always drafting, always impressing and ALWAYS striving to be better than every other associate at my level.

At the small firm in Small Town things were more relaxed career wise, but stressful in other ways. The Partners had been in practice together for over a decade. Both were set in their ways. And neither one of them spoke to the other. (As an aside, I wouldn't recommend this in business.) Each day was generally tense, and not in a good way. But there was no billable requirement. No one checked up on my billing. And most of the time I was a glorified photocopier, emailer, phone call maker.

As for this firm in Seattle... If I were goldilocks there's a chance I'd be saying it is "JUST RIGHT." We just completed a document that was a team effort to get out the door. I wasn't walking on egg shells to not piss off a partner like in BigLaw and I wasn't tiptoeing around a gigantic ego like in Small Town. We banded together and got it done. Plus, I don't mind if I'm working well past dark, or waking up and hitting snooze 4 times. I love it.

And, it is nice to use my lawyer brain again.

There is a lot of pressure during law school to make your first job your forever job. If you are deciding between Public or Private practice there are several different considerations to take into account - such as pay, quality of life and area of law. But don't be discouraged if you think you're in the right sector, and unhappy at work. It's totally possible you simply haven't found the office that is just right yet.

P.S. If you are reading this live, you have about 4 hours to enter this month's giveaway! Don't miss out!

Meeting one of the Most Influential

2012-10-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

I am slowly working through my thoughts from The Influence Conference. It was such a humbling and inspiring few days. I cannot believe how much the Lord blessed me by sending me to a blogging conference. Who knew?

Because the Conference was all about influence, I thought I would share with you gals the woman who has been the most influential to me in blogging, since I "met" her in January. She has no idea I'm writing this, so you can know this is coming straight from the honesty of my heart.

Amanda from Royal Daughter Designs

P.S. I caught a cold that showed its ugly face a few hours before that photo, so ignore my red nose.

If you've been around TYD for awhile, you will remember my old blog design. It was bold, bright and artsy. I loved it. Amanda was the brains behind that operation, all because she donated a design to an "auction" to support the adoption of another blogger. Since day 1 I have known her as a generous, caring, light of God's gospel in this blogging community. She was also the first person I ever sponsored in blog-land.

I can truly attest to the fact that her heart is just as sincere in real life as it is on her blog. If you're looking for design tips, blogging help, or all around Jesus-centered inspiration, Royal Daughter Designs is the place to be.

It is such an honor to be able to say I have met her without having to use quotation marks anymore. The Lord is so, so good, dear readers of mine.

The Blogger and Shop Owner's Giveaway

2012-10-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

This month's sponsors love blogging! Take a moment to check out the blogs of these wonderful ladies, and be sure to enter the giveaway below. This month's giveaway is an online girl's dream if you're trying to grow your blog or shop and get your name out there.

Jennifer Leigh's Blog

About Jennifer: I'm a 20-something blogger who lives in NYC with my husband & our doggy. This is a crazy year for us while my husband is applying to medical school. I blog about everything in life from work to fashion to med school applications. It's all a ton of fun :-)
What is Your Favorite thing About Blogging? I love the community, I've met some awesome ladies through blogging!
Jennifer is giving away a 200x200 ad space on her blog! Jessica at Jessica Who?

About Jessica: Aloha y'all! I'm Jessica and I blog at Jessica Who?. I'm a Texas girl living on the little island of Oahu. Come by and follow my adventure!
What is Your Favorite thing About Blogging? The absolute best part about blogging is the amazing community behind it!

Not only is Jessica giving away a medium ad space here, she's having giveaways at her blog, too!

Amanda at My Show

About Amanda: I'm Amanda, a 26 year old wife, teacher, and new mom. I blog all about my itty-bitty baby, life as a mom, and the random things that happen in my life. Come on over and visit my crazy, sarcastic world.
What is Your Favorite thing About Blogging? My favorite thing about blogging is all the people I have met through it. Through blogging and reading other blogs I have met so many fun people who I would otherwise have never met.
Amanda is giving away a large, 200x200, ad space at her blog!
Joanna at Moda Mama
About Joanna: I'm Joanna from ModaMama - the sarcastic, and often awkward, style blog of an actor, Tv host, and photographer Mama trying to live life one fashionable day at a time.
What is Your Favorite thing About Blogging? Taking pictures! Love taking fun photos of fashion and anything that comes around!
Brittany's Note: Joanna has coffee with you every Friday during her "Coffee Talk" vlogs. You should check it out. You will love her!
Joanna is offering one SuperCool ad space at her blog (a $30 value)!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

About Me - Today

2012-10-18T11:00:00.001-07:00

I updated my "About Me" page today. It was a little sad to let go of memories, but I hope I am holding onto God's truth, which never fails us. You can go here to read it, or just check it out below. I don't do many page breaks, but it seemed necessary here :).

I think it's time to update this. The Lord is doing such a work in my life, I can't sum it up in one page, but this may give you an idea.

I am Brittany.

I went to law school and somehow passed the bar exam, so they've been letting me practice law for a couple of years now.

I am Christian, and have been since I was 15 when I finally accepted the invitation to go to youth group by the "annoying, nerdy girl" who asked me to go every single Thursday for six months. I'm glad she didn't give up on me.

I have moved a lot recently. {If by recently I mean my entire life.} In the last 8 years I have lived in 5 cities. I moved in 2004 to go to College. 2007 to go to Law School. 2010 to start a Clerkship in Small Town, where I met "the boyfriend." 2011 to Big City start a BigLaw life. 2012 back to Small Town to be with the man I thought I was going to marry until he broke up with me 6 months after I gave up everything. And now, 2012, to start following the plan God seems to actually have for my life. He's showing me "my mess," and this ministry of singleness I have fought so hard against until now.

I am happy to be back in Washington, and on the west side where I hopefully won't have to endure another Snopocolypse like I did in 2008 on the east side:

I have a few bad habits. The simple of which are that I talk WAY too fast, I am completely unable to write a short, condensed email to a friend, and I text at work. The more serious bad habits are that I am kind of emotional and can cry at the drop of a hat, I always forget my used makeup remover cloths in the shower, even if I'm a guest in the home, and I have the propensity to get incredibly self-conscious and insecure if I spend too much time outside of God's word.

Also, if you're new to my blog I must warn you that I will be taking the bar exam again in February. If you were around during Bar Exam #1 you would have seen: I was a totally spastic nightmare who literally dreamt about the bar, freaked out on friends and family, spent 12 hours a day, many days a week, at the only Starbucks in Small Town, couldn't even handle cooking simple meals, and had more than one complete meltdown.

Then, afterwards, I had to go to the doctor for anxiety and insomnia because I was so used to being busy and out of control that I didn't know how to handle real life. ha.

days before the move back to WA

When I'm not blogging I'm working (mostly), reading, cooking, drinking wine, baking or cuddling. My life rarely gets more exciting than that now that I'm out of school. While law school was the most helacious three years of my life, it was also the most fun, had the most glitter, fake eyelashes and mystic tans, and created the best friendships of my life. I wouldn't change going, although I'd sure try to get some more financial aid, and I wouldn't really recommend going to anyone until there are actually jobs again (and as of today, there still aren't).

If you want to email me, I can be found at ThreeYearsDown [at] gmail [dot] com. I like emails, but remember, you've been warned that my reply may not be short or condensed. I get several emails a semester about wanting to drop out of law school. I am more than happy to talk about this with you. Don't hesitate to email me if you need some support.

Standing up in a Room of 200 Women

2012-10-17T09:43:00.002-07:00

I am writing this from my Influence hotel room, because I just can't hold it in.
On Friday after lunch, there was a "life panel." Amazing, amazing people were on this panel, Jessi Connolly from Naptime Diaries and her husband Nick, Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky who wrote Grace for the Good Girl, Sarah Matheny at Peas and Thank You, and Rach Kinkaid at Kincaid Parade. They had wise words to share with all of us about the inner-workings of blogging and our hearts.
And I felt an urge, and a nudge, that I so desperately wanted to ignore. But as I felt my cheeks flush and my tears run hot, I needed to know. I needed to hear from these ladies how to have what they have, when I don't.

I raised my hand from the very, very back.
With shaking hands and a trembling voice I asked what kills my heart the most. I voiced the lie that Satan tells me most often. I can't remember the exact words, and I know I quoted Emily Freeman like a fan girl, but I spoke what my spirit was longing to say.
How do you have influence, when you are single? When you so desperately want to be married. When you want the ministry these ladies have with their husbands and children and women in their churches and on their blogs.
I'm not a mom. I'm not a wife. Which is hard on me day after day after day. I intentionally pray that marriage would not be an idol to me. Yet, my heart longs for a family. And I feel less than everyone. I feel like what I bring to the table isn't enough. I feel like God uses them women who have their whole life in perfect order (and I recognize the ridiculousness in that statement. I really do). I feel like because I'm not married, I am worth so much less to his kingdom.
And I cried.
I cried my eyes out in front of 200 women. Standing. Hands trembling, voice shaking and tears for not only the entire world to see, but also several of the women I respect and cherish the most in this community.
I was a hot.mess.
But then grace upon grace upon grace was poured over me.
The amazing panel spoke soothing to my soul. Jessi calmed my heart. Emily looked me in the eye from across the room and told me that Jesus is in me. Several lovely ladies cried with me and hugged me and shared their stories. Several married women came to me later, hugged me, and told me marriage didn't make them minsters to women. Jesus gave them their ministry. Later, Casey Wiegand said, "Your mess is your ministry." And oh, sisters, how tightly am I holding onto that right now.
Jesus is in me even though I'm not married.
Jesus is in me even though I'm not a mom.
Jesus is not in me any less because I am single. He does not love me any less. My influence is not any less important to his kingdom.
I am enough.
You girls are enough.
You are enough. i love you guys.

What God was Telling me Then {From the Archives}

2012-10-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

I've never posted anything "from the archives," but Blogger suggested I would "like" the following post, so I re-read it. (Does anyone else ever thing it's funny when the widget is telling you what posts you'd like... that you wrote yourself?)

This post was an eye opener to what God was putting on my heart in 2011. Who knows what my life would have looked like if I had listened to his pull to leave Small Town for good, instead of coming back and trying it my way once again. Perhaps the heart break I'm feeling right this second wouldn't be so severe. So read on, for a glimpse of Brittany-19-months-ago.

THURSDAY, MARCH 10, 2011

Letter Machine

I know you all know how much I hate cover letters, since I whine about them all of the time.

Well, I have been a cover-letter, job-applying machine in the last few weeks.

Once I broke the ice in applying to places outside of Small Town, I couldn't stop. I figured that if I was going to have to spend some period of time a few hundred miles away from the Boyfriend, I'd better make sure it was the best opportunity possible. AND, work continues to be horrible, despite me going in and attempting to keep to myself (like, two days ago, the Secretary had me call the State Law School to tell them they haven't filled my position yet - they've never given me an end date - and they would appreciate SLS continuing to collect resumes and sending them over). I need newness. I need a team-work atmosphere. I need to love going into work again. And right now, I guess that means weekend trips and mid-weeks Skyping (if his mountain-man internet can handle Skype, that is).

I am just really over being here right now. I spent the weekend in LA because of a death in the family. My great grandma I told you guys about passed away last week. Any time I go home to SoCal I wonder why I ever, ever considered living anywhere else. I need to be somewhere with more than one dry cleaner, more than one tailor and where I'm not forced to shop at Walmart. gag. I could also use some kind of financial windfall where I'd be able to afford to take the CA bar, and a bigger brain for actually passing it.

So, we'll see what happens. If you're a praying type, I could really use some prayer on guidance and where to go from here if an opportunity arises.

#influenceconf - or the weekend that blew me away

2012-10-15T07:30:00.000-07:00

It is 10:09 Pacific time and I am finally laying in my own bed for the first time in several days.
I had a different post written and scheduled for this morning. But I've changed my mind about sharing it right away.
I feel like the words need to sink in. The truth needs to fill in my soul. Jesus needs to show me his heart. The thoughts need to ruminate.
I cannot even tell you the joy it brought me to talk about Jesus and blogging and grace all weekend with women I respect and admire. I got to hug gals I have "known" on the internet for a long time, and gals I hadn't known before, but can't wait to check out their blog.
All I can say for sure, at this very second, is that all of those girls are now my friends.
Not my internet friends, but my actual, real life friends.
Because as Jessi so gloriously put it this weekend, "The internet is real."

How to Create Your Own Canvas Art

2012-10-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am currently at The Influence Conference. Yesterday you guys got to hear from Stephanie. Today, Amber from The Unconventional Doctor's Wife graciously offered to stop by and show you how to use canvas art you've created on your own, to be an encouragement in your home. I hope you enjoy!

Recently, I have been very big on putting words of truth and encouragement around my home. Instead of just a post it note on my mirror, I've been creating art to hang on my walls. My two daughters (ages 10 & 8) have asked me multiple times to make some for their room. So, I finally did.

You can create this too with just a few supplies. It's super easy and lots of fun!

You will need

canvas (any size)
scrapbook paper, any decorative paper, or fabric
scissors
Mod Podge (I always use the matte finish) - can be found at any craft store
paint brush (I prefer a foam brush)
paint - any color, any brand (I use the cheapest craft paint)
old credit card or gift card (to paint the canvas & smooth out the bubbles)

Step 1:

Paint the canvas - Squirt paint all over the canvas and either use a paint brush, foam brush, or use an old credit card to scrap the paint across the canvas to cover it. I prefer scraping it as it doesn't take as long to dry and like the lines it leaves when it dries.

Once it's painted let it dry completely. If you are impatient like me and was to speed up the process, you can use your blow dryer to dry the paint a little quicker.

Step 2:

Figure out what you want your art work to say and what paper or fabric you want to use. Then cut out the letters. You can either print them on your computer, draw them out, or wing it like I usually do (because I am impatient, remember?).

Step 3:

Figure out how to arrange your letters on the canvas. Try different ways and see what you like best.

Step 4:

When you decide where you want your letters, you are going to glue them on using Mod Podge. Get a fair amount on your brush and it on the canvas where you are going to place your cut out word.

Step 5:
Arrange your letters on the mod podged canvas, making sure the area beneath the letters are covered in the adhesive. Then you need to paint the Mod Podge on top of the paper/fabric letters. You must do this step or it will not stick. And I promise it dries clear!

Step 6:
Repeat this step for each line or area on the canvas you are putting words or letters. I like to do just a little area at a time. It gives me a little more control and because once you Mod Podge it on, it's hard to take off without ripping the paper. Also, use an old credit card or gift card to scrape and smooth out the letters in case any bubbles or puckering occurred.

Step 7:
Once you have all your letters/words glued on, go back one more time and cover the entire canvas (front and sides) with Mod Podge. This gives it an even finish and protective coat. Scrape of any access of Mod Podge and then it dry.

Ta-da! Now you are done!!! Enjoy your own work of art!

Prayer is Dangerous

2012-10-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today I'd love to introduce everyone to Stephanie! You may already know her, she blogs over at just a little bit louder. She's a total sweetheart and a fantastic friend. She was one of the first people to sponsor TYD, which was super exciting for me :).
I am at the Influence Conference this week-weekend and she was willing to fill in some space on the blog. I am sure you guys will be inspired by her. Enjoy!

Let me stick a big ol’ disclaimer on myself.

I am not a professional pray-er. In fact, I’m a fairly pathetic pray-er. Most of the time I think “I need to pray about that later!” and then never do. If we were all sitting in a circle, I would be the first to say “Hello, my name is Stephanie and I struggle with prayer.”

The past week I’ve spent time with a notebook and pen, keeping my heart open and listening to the Spirit {that is prayer!} and compiling thoughts about prayer to share with you. Let me tell you. My outlook on prayer has changed because of it.

You guys, prayer is dangerous. God is actually listening. Not just that, but he’s watching. Nehemiah 1:6 tells us that: “let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying.” Our lives become ceaseless prayers when we seek God in the ordinary, everyday, miniscule moments of life. But when we take the time to stop and share with the Lord in quiet, intimate moments, we sometimes don’t know the implications of our prayers. We think we know what we are praying for, but we tend to focus more on the destination than the journey.

God cares about the destination, don’t get me wrong. He just seems to be so much more concerned with the journey.

That is why when I ask the Lord to increase my patience, for example, he does not knock on my door and hand me patience nestled in a cutely wrapped box. When I ask of God “help me be patient!” he will hook me up with the people who have the highest capacity to piss me off.

This summer I worked at summer camp, and I was in charge of treating any campers that have lice. Sometimes we are in one room for over twenty-four hours. It’s intense {if this was real life, I would make an in-tents joke right now}. One Monday, before the campers arrived and we were praying, I asked for patience. Two sentences later I was begging God to forget that I had asked for patience, trying to convince him that I was really alright how I was.

That’s the danger in God seeing our prayers. Clearly he is not blind to the fact that I am incredibly impatient.

So guess what happened. We had the most frustrating camper ever. She cried when we touched her hair, but she had the worst case of lice I’d ever seen. My goal with lice-check is to never send a camper home, but she was lying on the floor refusing to let us continue treating her, and I said to my boss, “give me the keys to a camp van and I will personally drive her home myself. I’m not doing this anymore.”

Then the Holy Spirit broke through the thick, bitter walls around my heart.

“Really?”

I sighed and I looked at the 8-year-old girl and said, “Lord, help me see her how you see her right now. Help me to understand.”

Guess what. She stayed. She got her hair treated, and she had an awesome time at camp.

The problem is I often forget prayer is not a persuasive conversation with God. We don’t pray to get what we want, we pray so we can see what God sees. It doesn’t change who God is. It changes who we are.

Madeleine L’Engle, my FAVORITE author, says in one of her books that prayer is not magic, it is an act of love. I pray because I love the people around me {aren’t we all better friends when we have a healthy prayer life?} and I pray because I love God.

I want the fruit of the Spirit, which is what God wants of me as well. God gives us some gardening tools and seeds where we expect a basket full of ripe, juicy fruit. But we have a history of mistreating fruit that God gives us easy access to. So the journey is important, the process becomes the purpose of prayer.

Prayer changes things, no doubt, but the biggest result of prayer is that it changes US.

The Influence Conference is Happening in Two Days!

2012-10-09T11:19:00.003-07:00

I started this post yesterday and decided I needed to leave my computer at work so I could focus on packing and getting ready for the conference. so within [[ ]] is my panic stricken "I've done nothing!" I have officially packed, but I'm not sure how well.
[[The Influence Conference is in three days, and to be honest I'm starting to freak out. I haven't started packing, unless you count mentally considering what the best outfits would be. I've considered buying all new clothes just in case any outfit I would wear has already been in a picture on my blog - before realizing most of the ladies there have never even seen my blog and it will be OK. I've looked at the sessions but haven't chosen any for sure yet except the ones taught by women who will probably leave me star-struck.]]
Ladies, I am so unlike myself right now. Usually I am a planner. I would be packed right now. I would have a game plan right now. I would have mapped out the way from the hotel to the airport even though I'll be taking a shuttle. I can't even believe my life. God is taking complete control and letting me rest in each moment of each day, even when I start to worry about what comes next.
Instead of continuing my downward spiral of nervousness, I will celebrate being in Indianapolis in three short days by joining Kimberly at {This Healthy Endeavor} for an ABC linkup. It's been years since I've done one of these so this feels like the right time. :)

A- Accent you wish you had I would love either a southern belle or british accent. They just sound so classy!
B- Baking or Cooking? I love to bake, but cooking is more useful. I don't usually eat whatever I bake. It is more of a therapeutic exercise.

C- Can't Get Enough..... country music right now. It's out of control. haha

D- Drink you can't go without

coffee. I love coffee. Also, my go-to drink after I got braces my second year of law school has been sprite. There is something about it that is so refreshing!

E-Emotion you get when those Hallmark commercials come on

I am a crier through and through. There are several that make me tear up no matter how many times I see them. The commercial that gets me the most right now though is from Google.

F-Fictional Character you relate to
For some reason I have the urge to answer Lexie Grey. Which is probably kinda true, minus the photographic memory. I'd love a photographic memory!
G-Guilty Pleasure

Right now it is Dairy Queen Blizzards. When we aren't talking food, it is Nordstrom Rack. I love that store!

H- Hometown
Los Angeles, California.
I- Ice Cream Flavor Mint 'n Chip, but only the green kind with the smaller chocolate chips. White Mint 'n Chip does not taste the same.

J- Jumpstart Go To (aka how you get your day started) I start every day hitting the snooze. Then follow it up with pouring a cup of coffee while I brush my teeth.
K- Keepsake Item During my grandpa's funeral my grandma gave my sister and I each a vintage handkerchief. I keep it in my jewelry box.

L- Life Verse(s) Joshua 1:9

M-Memory that makes you smile

Any of our family vacations in Hermosa Beach.

N- Non-fiction writer you want to have dinner with
Beth Moore, absolutely.
O- Opulent Item You Want (something that is way out of your price range)
A downtown Seattle condo in a high rise. I am trying really hard to ignore that urge because they are outrageously priced.
P-Pattern You Love
I've been a polkadots girl since I was 5 :).
Q- Quirk You Have
I don't know, I try not to think about my quirks... haha I have noticed since "vloging" that I say "So, there's that..." a lot. Which I find annoying.
R- Relaxing Spot Anywhere by the water. I am so peaceful and at home by the water.

Even when camping by a lake.

S- Snow or Sun? Sun for sure. If I never saw snow a single day of my life, I'd be fine with that. :)

T- TV show you miss The OC. I loved that show!

U- Unique Fact About You I'm apparently really good at pretending I'm not terrified. Recently several people have commented on how inspiring it is that I'm so brave in new situations. I'm DYING in new situations and trying to pray-away a panic attack or keep from hyperventilating!

V- Valentine's Day ...big deal or not? I think it is. Why not? A day you should make each other feel extra special sounds great to me.
W- What's Your Love Language? This is funny. When I first took the test my love language was Quality Time, with physical touch at a zero. Now they're tied for first place :).

X- X-Factor Song You Would Sing (sidenote: I don't watch the show...)
I don't watch the show. How does it work? Do you pick a song like American Idol? (I don't want AI either so I'm assuming that's what happens.)
Y- Yoga or Not?
I LOVE Yoga. If I could afford a membership around here I would already be doing it in Seattle.
Z- Zealous Dream You Have Hmm... I'd like to publish a book. I "won" National Novel Writer's Month last year, but then slacked on editing. I'd like to follow through on the entire process one day.

Fill in the Blanks - The Post of the Lasts

2012-10-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

The theme this week is "lasts." I think it's actually pretty fitting to my overall mood. This week has been a lot of growth, change and stretching pains. I am SO excited to see several of you at The Influence Conference next week. For now, I will try to let go of the past, and focus on today's blessings. Right after I tell you about my last _____. ;)

Join me!

1. The last thing I ate was ruffles and ranch dip. But I really just wish I ate what Lauren did. That sounded delish! Before that I ate leftover crock pot shredded chicken burritos I made earlier this week. They were still yummy.

2. The last time I went to the beach was ... this answer really upsets me. I'm pretty sure it was November for my Big City Big Firm's anniversary party. I will try to fix that this weekend.

The Montage Resort, Newport Beach - view from our room

3. My last vacation was to Salt Lake City last month. I wrote about it here and here. It was peaceful and refreshing, but it wasn't the beach.

The Montage Private Beach, up close.

4. The last place I drove was home from work. I live 6-7 miles from work and it takes 20 minutes. Seattle is a very interesting place to drive!

5. The last song I listened to was one on my ipod shuffle that I wasn't listening very closely to so I don't remember it. However, my shuffle at work today did play not one, but two, awesome *N Sync songs. Love it!

6. The last thing I watched on TV was football, and the Cardinals Defense did not do as well as I needed them to for my fantasy football team. I am currently watching Frozen Planet though.

7. The last time I said "I love you" was yesterday on the phone with my Grandma.
PS. I just realized I get to wear jeans to work! Fantastic! {priorities, people.}