Three Years Down

Peace and Quiet

2012-02-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

Something that really bothered me when I moved to Small Town the first time* was how quiet it is. For someone who was raised in LA County and Big City, quiet is NOT something I'm used to. Relaxation could have been a word in a foreign language for all I knew.

True story: after the bar exam I started having panic attacks when things were too calm and quiet.

Where I live now, you can hear when people are coming up the drive. There is no traffic. There are no streetlights shining through the window. I wake up every morning to the most GORGEOUS view of mountains, and grass, and houses on huge plots of land. It's lovely.

My view while I did my GMG quiet time

I noticed something while I was sitting at my new desk at my new work. This environment makes me want to be creative. It inspires me to write more. It draws me into daydreams and contemplation and prayer.

It will probably take me awhile to get used to it again, but I'm looking forward to all of the new opportunities to be creative - especially considering there isn't ANYWHERE for me to waste my time shopping here unless I want to go to walmart - ew.

*for those of you who are new around here: I moved to Small Town after law school to clerk for a judge. God apparently thought it would be REALLY funny for me to meet the man of my dreams here. I had to move to Big City for work after my clerkship ended. I was there for about a year. I just moved back.

Hello from the Middle of Nowhere!

2012-02-13T19:56:00.000-08:00

I am totally missing miscellany monday this week due to the move and being in the middle of nowhere with less than reliable internet. I can barely get it to work at all so I don't want to push my luck. haha

Right before I left Big City I made my biggest shopping justification yet. I switch cell phone carriers and bought an iPhone. My previous carrier only used other people's towers up here so it was a pain in the butt to call/text, especially picture messages, and the internet was painfully slow.

So now I have a gorgeous iPhone that I just LOVE! I'm still figuring out but I made sure to download instagram and have had tons of fun playing with it.

Also, I got a lot of socializing done last week since I wasn't working. I was blessed enough to spend time with my friend Kristy and her brand new little babe. Kristy and I have known each other since we were 12, and had a brief and unsuccessful stint as roommates in college. I miss her friendship a lot and the entire time I lived in Big City we worked completely opposite hours - until last week.

I'm pretty sure the baby loves Starbucks already! :)

I have to admit, not working was pretty nice. It's a good thing I already had a job lined up in Small Town or I might have just lounged around, soaking up the wonderfulness that is rest and relaxation.

The day on which we never have to count days again.

2012-02-11T10:15:00.000-08:00

When you're reading this I should be on my way back to Small Town. Barring any last minute packing or cleaning, I am probably rocking out to T. Swift, Adele or Lykke Li. If I am feeling particularly tired or productive, I could be listening to an audiobook or podcast.

But, no matter what the details, I will no longer be 500 miles from this man.

SO EXCITED!

PS. Ignore my hideous face in the picture.

Fill in the Blank Friday - on Blogging

2012-02-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

Link up with Lauren at The Little Things We Do!

1. I started my blog because I've always expressed myself through writing and I didn't have the time or legible handwriting to keep a real journal.

2. One thing I love seeing on other blogs are insights into their lives, hobbies and passions. I like to actually get to know the people behind the blog.

3. Something I love about blogging like Lauren said, the community. I have made some really great friends through blogging, as well as some really inspiring people who are accomplishing amazing feats I'd love to have the courage to try.

4. A favorite blog post of mine is probably about my prayer binder, because I showed some insight into a personal part of my life, and people have commented that it has helped them with their quiet time. I'm also pretty sure it's the only post of mine that has ever made it to pinterest. And that's big time. haha

5. Something my friends in real life know about me that I've never before mentioned on my blog is Where I actually live? just kidding. Probably how little self control I have when it comes to wasting time or spending money. I can easily procrastinate just about anything. This is a prime example. I packed two boxes this morning, then spent an hour trying to find someone to hire to clean my apartment for me when I move out. Then spent time organizing my twitter into "lists" and posted this blog. What I need is to stay focused and just bust it out... but I don't WANT to. Oh, I can also whine like nobody's business. It's not on purpose though.

Like going to the mall yesterday, when I should have been packing,
and then using this picture to learn Instagram (add me! brittany_tyd).

6. My new favorite blogs to read are Ones that fit in with #2. I read the question again, and realized it said "new," but I don't want to erase what I already wrote (paragraph below). I'm trying to keep my google reader under control so I don't have many new ones. Two pretty ones I found through Blog Brunch are : vmac&cheese, and Stripes and Polkadots.

Over all, my favorite blogs ever: KattyatLaw (who has been keeping me on tast with packing, from thousands of miles away), LagLiv (who inspires me with her time management between career and family), Amanda (who stayed the night here on her drive to her new home and it felt like we'd known each other forever, and not that we just met), Amy Beth (who inspires me with her ministry, and I would seriously consider paying her to fly to Nevada and photograph my one-day-wedding), and Carissa (whose photography blows my mind, and she blogs about her daily life in a way that inspires me to draw closer to God and prioritize those I love). It's probably also a consideration that I have talked to these ladies via email, twitter or comments for awhile, and they are all super sweet.

7. Some things I tend to avoid doing on my blog are politics, people's real names, and blogging about any troubles I have in my personal relationships.

I was always good at {tag} because I was a fast runner.

2012-02-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

The super cute Erin at Erin B. Inspired tagged me in a meme ~~this week~~ {last month because I'm not as fast as I thought}. Since ~~we have a short work week and I'm not going out of town for the holiday~~ I'm technically unemployed this week, I actually have time to play along!

Here's the rules.

You must post these rules.
Each person must post 11 things about themselves on their blog.
Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post. Go to their page and tell them you have linked him or her.
No tag backs and you legitimately have to tag 11 people.

11 Facts About Myself

I was always the kid in my family who did not like to get my hands dirty. The Boyfriend's mom complained to him that I was "a little too girly" once... I am pretty sure I was just born this way and have never once found it to be a flaw.
The only examples I have in my life of how to be a classy, Godly woman were not around when I was little (except my grandmas, but we moved when I was 10). I had to just wing it until I was 22 and decided to just latch onto OTHER people's moms at church. It worked. I have been working on my gift of hospitality ever since.
On a similar note, I learned to cook from the Food Network. I watched it DAILY in college and finally started applying things in law school. Now I wouldn't bake a cake from a box if someone dared me.
I have a really bizarre fascination with the mail. I love getting the mail. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a mailwoman when I grew up (and a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, and a teacher, all simultaneously).
When I was in 4th grade I was in a school wide spelling bee. The school was K-8. I was in 5th place and two spots away from getting the trophy. I choked. The word was does. I said D-O-S-and then heard the crowd sigh. I finished the word incorrectly, and then sobbed my little 8 year old heart out outside of the gym while my mom and teacher consoled me.
I cover my ears and hum any time a scary movie preview comes on TV. I'm a total chicken!
I can't pee if anyone can hear me. This got awkward on Thanksgiving when my boyfriend told his family and I spent the weekend sneaking away so they didn't stand outside the bathroom door and tease me. Don't even get me started on that other thing people do in the bathroom. The house has to be empty.
I have an illness that makes me love school. It is a mystery, undiagnosed illness, but I'm pretty sure there has to be something there to make me want more than the two degrees I already have.
I hated wine before law school. All the events were free wine and beer, but I hated beer even more than wine. Now I love white wine. I still haven't obtained a taste for red, and still hate beer, but a good ol' glass of white? love.
I hate packing. I am a terrible procrastinator at it because it's scary and hard and emotional and I do it all the time. The longest I've ever lived somewhere since 1995 was for two years in my fav law school apartment. Somehow, doing it all the time has not made it any easier.
I subscribe to a few magazines. I swear I've cancelled Self more than once, but it keeps coming. I also just subscribed to Elle because it was $5 on amazon and too pretty to resist. The problem is I don't read them. So my "magazine crate" is full to the brim with those two, six months of a free Martha Stewart subscription, my two alumni magazines, along with the state and American bar association magazine - most of which still in the plastic.

Onto Erin's Questions: {which require a lot less creativity on my part :)}

Where is one place (city, state, or country) that you are dying to visit? I would absolutely LOVE to go to Spain.
What is your bed time? It has suddenly become 9:30. I don't know why, but that's the time I do that best at the next morning.
What is one resolution or goal you have for 2012? To continue writing and to edit my NaNoWriMo novel.
What would be your last supper? Steak, mashed potatoes, and a yummy salad with no gross toppings like cheese or eggs or tomatoes.
If you could eat a meal with one person, dead or alive, who would it be and why? I'd say Jesus, but that's so cliched. So is Princess Diana. So, how about Emily Dickinson.
What is your favorite animal? Elephants. Don't ask me why, I just love them. And they are so smart! Second place is Owls, also because they are smart. I basically want anything with elephants or owls on it.
What is your dream job? A writer.
Who is your hero? ...I'm not sure I really have one since I wasn't able to answer this when I first started it either.
When you need a snack, do you reach for sweet or salty? (Bonus points if you list your favorite snack.) It is almost always salty. I could finish off a bag of ruffles and ranch dip like no one you've ever seen.
Does your style have a signature? (For example, I'm known for bold colors and loud prints.) Apparently it is pink and preppy according to my secretary when she gave me my Christmas gift :). That's probably pretty accurate.
What is your favorite book? The entire Harry Potter series. It has touched my life a million times more than any other book. A second choice is The Hole in Our Gospel.

Questions to Answer:

If you could only read three books for the rest of your life, what would they be?
What did you always want to be when you grew up?
Where is your most favorite place you've ever lived?
Do you volunteer? If so, where? If not, where would you if you had the time?
If you could cameo on one television show, what would it be?
Were you ever a groupie? For what band?
Have you kept the resolutions you made on January 1?
How do you keep track of your busy schedule?
How much time do you spend getting ready every day?
What is your favorite clothing store?
What is one thing you hope to accomplish by your next milestone birthday (30? 35? 40?)?

I'm tagging... {people that I doubt have time for this, but would be fun to read. and less than 11. sometimes I'm just a rule breaker.}

Amanda, K at Law, L-Fab, Summery Judgment, Jenna Renee, L-Chocolat, Carissa, Anna, Mrs. S,

Miscellany Monday

2012-02-06T07:30:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday! I actually have nothing on the agenda today except to get together with my high school/college friend/roommate and her brand new baby girl, oh and keep packing!

I have packed about one box a day over the past few days. Which, as you can imagine means that I have a lot more to go! Instead of packing, I spent my weekend lounging, relaxing and being lonely. After my morning socializing over Jamba Juice, maybe I'll get back to work.

ONE.

On Friday night I was bummed out, so I knew I needed to get out of the house. I had a coupon to KFC for complaining one day about the terrible order I received, but still needed to go to the store (~~mostly for a bottle of wine, but also~~ for food in general). I forgot salsa for what I was GOING to make with the chicken, so decided to try a mix for homemade chinese food I bought awhile ago. I ran into a problem about 3/4 of the way through when I saw it called for soy sauce. Apparently I hadn't bought real soy sauce since moving into this apartment.

Perk of living like a bachelorette? Chinese fast food condiments for the win!

{For the record, it came out really good!}

TWO.

Church this weekend was pretty awesome. In celebration of the super bowl it was "wear your jersey to church" day, complete with a tailgate party, three food trucks and a bbq in the back of a pick-up.

I'm hoping that wearing a cowboys jersey in church will remind God that some Christians aren't Broncos fans ;).

THREE.

THEN we had an awesome worship leading guest... Lincoln Brewster.

He was fantastic, and even snuck some Journey into the set. My dad seemed to love the whole thing, which is always a ton of fun.

FOUR.

It was also a sad Sunday. I had to say goodbye to some of the church friends I made. However, one sweet one reminded me I will be back. And on the weekends I come back to visit, I will make sure to put my butt in a chair at Central. That made the goodbyes less tearful.

FIVE.

Do you blog? Have you heard of Blog Brunch? It is a monthly twitter chat that focuses on blogging. Not only does it give HUGE insight to tips and tricks to bloggers, I've noticed it also brings people together to collaborate. You can find it with the hashtag #blogbrunch, and they do a re-cap on the blog each month.

At the chat, I found a super cute design blogger. If you're reading in an RSS-reader, I'd like to invite you over to my actual internet home to check out the fantastic social networking buttons Kate made. Go ahead, live on the wild side and hover over them. They're like magic! (While you're there, you can connect with me elsewhere on the web if you want.)

SIX.
Then, post-superbowl Sunday night I decided it was time to paint my nails.

As a matter of fact, I have been a princess since the day I was born.

Fill in the Blank Friday - EST edition

2012-02-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, it's technically Thursday where I am. But hey, it's friday on the other side of this continent so it can't be too bad, right?

I wanted to do this tonight because I can't be late to my last day of work tomorrow. That's right, last day :D. I got a job back in Small Town so long distance relationship whines will be no more around here!

It's a mixed bag of emotions. I finally got really spoiled spending so much time with my family. I wasn't used to it at all after 8 years away. But I am obviously so excited to be near the Boyfriend and the Baby all the time again. I'm sure I will post more during my week off next week. For now, onto the blanks!

fitbf

1. If money wasn't an issue, the first thing I'd cross of my life list is paying off my student loans. Does that count? haha Since that's probably not in the spirit of this question... I would quit working completely to focus on writing.

2. Ketchup on chicken is something I like that other people think is weird. {DELISH!}

3. If my life were a movie right now, the title would be Lazy Lonely Girl Spends a Lot of Time Watching TV and on Twitter Because She is so Lonely Being in a Long Distance Relationship. lol.

4. Three things I am looking forward to this month are Spending Valentine's Day with the Boyfriend :D , Two new babies are due to be born this month (and 1 was born just last week) and a hair appointment on Tuesday afternoon to make up for cavities being filled on Tuesday morning.

5. My favorite song to sing in the shower is Anything Adele or T. Swift. I am a fantastic singer in the shower ;). (Lauren, your answer cracked me up!). and in the spirit of honesty... sometimes just some good old *N Sync and Britney Spears.

6. If I found out that the production of ruffles and ranch dip was ending this month, I'd go out and buy as much as I could tomorrow.

7. One thing I'll never grow tired of is re-runs of Deadliest Catch. I don't delete them from my DVR and watch them when I'm having a bad day. LOL.

The Siesta Scripture Memory Team Celebration 2012

2012-01-31T06:00:00.000-08:00

I spent the evening looking through the pictures from the Siesta Scripture Memory Team Celebration (aka SSMTC) from a couple of weeks ago. It was such a wonderful weekend! I wish I had been more brave and taken pictures with some Siestas. For some reason I didn't take a single picture with anyone else.

Maybe it was because I forgot my hairspray and the Houston humidity was determined to make me have flat hair in Texas. I couldn't believe it!

The SSMTC had two hotels we could stay at for a group rate. The Best Western was full so I "had" to stay at the Omni Resort. It was so gorgeous! That bed... let me tell you... was just GLORIOUS, which was good because I was trying to force myself to sleep with my body thinking it was still 2 hours too early for bed. When I got there I snooped around, and then headed to lunch.

I ate at the Cafe on the Green and was shocked to see the sprite the waiter brought me was in a GLASS container. It was a little too high class for my J. Crew sweater and airport funk. The meal was delish and I just couldn't get over the adorable ketchup and mayo containers. The grounds were gorgeous (how cute is that phone?!) The hotel had black swans. I'm terrified of any bird that floats... ducks, swan, geese... so I didn't get too close but they were beautiful.

I showed up to the celebration at 5:15 because I thought I would get more lost along the way. I mostly sat there by myself rather awkwardly, but it was OK. Before the Celebration started I bought a new bible and a super cute coffee mug from the Houston First Baptist Bookstore. I could have bought every single book in there. When we signed in we even got a super cute gift!

[[cell phone pic]]

Beth Moore ROCKED it (obviously). I wish I didn't get anxiety in crowds or I would have sat front and center to soak everything about her in. But I met the sweetest girl Louisa, who adopted me into her family with her sister, mom and grandma. It was such a blessing to meet all of them! I also met several siestas along the way. After the first day each region had a group picture taken. While the other regions were taking pictures the rest of us were able to drink hot chocolate, eat cookies and sign the scripture memory wall. The hot chocolate was DELISH and they had two fantastic bowls full of marshmallows.

The Scripture Memory Wall was super cool. I don't have great pictures of other people signing it (didn't want them to think I was creepy... haha), but I took a picture of mine.

The Celebration was over WAY too quickly. After we listened to Mrs. Moore finish up preaching on Sunday, Travis Cotrell lead up in truly incredible worship. I left the church right after that because my flight was scheduled to leave at 3:30 and I knew if I stopped at ikea I'd spend way too much money and run out of room in my suitcase. As it turned out I got INCREDIBLY lost along the way. God took me on the scenic route back to the airport, which brought me to this scene that I was able to pull over and capture. It was so pretty.

Thanks to getting lost, the rental car company I used charged me a bunch of extra money for being 30 minutes late. A sternly worded email later I received an apology and a refund, so all is well there.

The weekend was so, so awesome and I can't wait to see our group pictures we took with Beth. I was standing in the very back so I don't even know if I'll be able to see me, but just knowing I actually got a picture with her is so cool. The only problem with the SSMTC? I wish EVERY WEEKEND was spent with my siestas.

The Blessings of Today

2012-01-29T13:05:00.000-08:00

The problem with appreciating the blessings of today,

is that when this temporary stage of life is over,

it's really hard to say goodbye.

Fill in the Blank Friday - Travel

2012-01-27T07:34:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday everyone! I hope you have fab weekend plans. Since I was gone all last weekend I have a lot of chores to do around the house. It is a MESS. If you want to fill in some blanks, head over to the little things we do and join in on the fun. Or just see Lauren's cute little bundle of joy.

1. My favorite place i've ever traveled to is Washington DC and New York. I went in high school on a conference called Global Young Leader's Conference. It was an incredible experience and those cities were just awe inspiring.

2. Spain is somewhere I'd love to go someday.

3. I pass the time on a plane (or bus, or car ride or train) by listening to music and reading a book. Except I get really car sick on a car/bus so I just talk to whoever is next to me or sleep. I get sick on planes too, but Dramamine lets me read on a plane even though I still can't in cars .

4. My three must-haves when I travel are a book , water and my ipod.

5. My favorite travel companion is only the Boyfriend if I'm not driving... He is the world's worst backseat driver! haha. But if he's driving, then I'd go anywhere with him.

6. The craziest thing that ever happened to me while traveling is when I went to San Diego for work last summer. It was a quick trip for a case-crisis. I left at 3:25, barely making the plane. At like 3:32 or something the power went out in the entire city. If I hadn't made it out, or if our plane had been at all delayed, I would have been stuck there without any clothes, any place to stay, in the middle of a really hectic pre-trial prep.

7. The most exotic food I've ever tried while traveling is I don't eat exotic food. The end.

8. If I could live anywhere else, I'd live in Hermosa Beach, CA. It's too bad it costs an arm and a leg to live in a shack there.

Hermosa

9. I have been to twelve

states in the U.S. (only counting the ones I've actually DONE something in, not just landed in their airport or passed through in the car).

Connecting Around the Web

2012-01-25T21:22:00.000-08:00

I have been a bit absent ever since returning from the Siesta Scripture Memory Team Celebration. It was a long, busy weekend, that somehow still went by way too quickly! I could have spent a month with those gals and not had enough time to get to know and love them all. I will post more about this later.

{This picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post, except
I think it's pretty and is from another great weekend I had a few months ago.*}

One thing I have done since I got back is set up a Google+ account for the blog. Confession: I only did it because blogger keeps harassing me to. But I really do like Google+ for my personal life - if only more people used it! So, if you are a Google+ user I'd love for you to add me.

While we're at it, you can also find me on Twitter and Pinterest.

I love having this little blogging community and getting to know all of you gals. (guys? maybe?) I think a weekend of getting to hug fellow siestas has me a bit mushy :).

*This may also be an admission that I haven't even had the energy to plug my camera into my computer to upload a single picture actually from THIS weekend. Shh.

Moo Cards & A Celebration

2012-01-18T21:52:00.000-08:00

This may not be the best time for me to be posting a blog. I am nearly GIDDY with happiness. In fact, a few seconds ago, I SQUEALED. Legit squealed. It just hit me today that I'm REALLY going to Houston to see Beth Moore this weekend! It's the celebration for those gals who participated in her Siesta Scripture Memory Team during 2011. If you did the whole year, you got to go to the celebration for FREE! Plus, thanks to my Long Distance Relationship + crazy flights for work I had a FREE flight! You know what that means? The whole weekend is costing me hotel (gorgeous hotel with discounted celebration rate), a car and food. Oh, and any incredible shopping that I might get done in Houston (like... IKEA!).

via - supposedly this is Houston. haha

I was so excited about this that I thought I'd give it a shot and see if I could change my reservation to earlier. Usually with these rapid reward flights the free ones disappear really quickly. Apparently God loves Texas, and wants me to be there, because I was able to change it to a non-stop, leaving Big City an hour earlier, and arriving in the Lone Star State THREE hours earlier. I called the rental car, and an early pick up is fine. Then I called the hotel and it sounds like an early check-in there will be pretty smooth going.
I CAN'T WAIT!!!
Ever since I saw Beth Moore's Simulcast a few years ago with my friend Stacy, I have been dying to see her in real life. This will be up close and personal. I am stoked. Plus, I'm looking forward to meeting a lot of women who are just as excited about the Lord as I am! I have not felt this excited about a visit for anything other than to see my Boyfriend in a really long time. If you could see my face, you'd probably laugh at me. I'm basically holding in a dance right.now.
So, why did I start this post? Because not too long ago, I received a Klout perk for 100 mini moo cards from Moo.com. I first heard of these cards when Erin included one of hers in the super cute Christmas card she sent me. I knew that I needed some. I was bummed to discover when I placed the order that they would not make it in time for the #SSMTC.

Well, to my surprise, they were in my mailbox tonight! With Moo Cards you can chose as many designs as you do cards. I chose 8 different bible verses and just added text with the pre-designed backgrounds. The back of each card looks the same: my name, and my addresses around the web. If you run an etsy shop or a photography business you can feature your creations on the front! The possibilities are endless. You can order these or a ton of their other fab products at moo.com.
Updated to add: I was just approved to be a moo.com affiliate, if you use the above link to order I will receive a {small} commission.PS. I did not receive anything in exchange for this review. Just thought I'd share.PPS. Did I mention it's supposed to be 75 degrees all weekend? I know. I live a hard life sometimes.

Scripture Memorization

2012-01-17T20:52:00.000-08:00

This week began the first week of this year's Good Morning Girl's session. I am beyond excited! This season I am joined by three sweet ladies, Amanda, Jenna and AC. It has only been two days, but I already feel super blessed and uplifted.


my quiet time couch. you can see details of my binder here. the pens are fantastic for bible study and you can purchase them	here

This week's reading has started in Ephesians. Just the first few verses have spoken healing to my heart as I struggled with insecurity over the last few weeks.
In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. {Eph. 1:5-6}
God has loved us, blessed us, and called us his children since the foundation of the earth (v. 4). What incredible news! What do I have to be insecure about? I am 100% secure in Christ. I know that healing from this insecurity problem will not be instantaneous, but hopefully the healing begins now. I have also been reading So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us, by Beth Moore. I am about half way through and it is really impacting me. If you are struggling with insecurity, I would fully recommend this book.
On the subject of Beth Moore, I spent 2011 memorizing verses with her Scripture Memory Team. The celebration for those who participated is this weekend. I cannot WAIT! I am a bit nervous for the flight because I get anxiety, but on my last flight I whipped out the memory spiral and washed the anxiety away through the word of God. The 2011 journey of memorization had an obvious impact on my life as the word of God spoke to my heart when I encountered several different moments of trial and joy.
I cannot wait to blog and post pictures from this weekend. It's the first time I've ever been to Houston and the first time to see Mrs. Moore in person. I am DYING to see her gorgeous southern hair up close! hahaLinked up with:

GMG

Miscellany Monday - Modesty

2012-01-16T13:11:00.000-08:00

It's Monday, so that means it's time to go hang out with carissa! Also, she's having a gorgeous giveaway you should totally check out!
ONE.Last summer L and I were paired up in the 20sb Blog Swap. She wrote a fabulous post about her fun-in-the-sun summer. I don't know about you guys, but I was totally jealous.
I was so honored when L sent me an email last month asking me to guest post again. She has been on an incredible adventure overseas. The post is up today, and I hope you guys like it. If you're at all interested in fitness, L's blog is the place to be. She is so inspiring!
TWO.I am writing this before my first-ever massage appointment. I am totally nervous!!! I might not post it until afterwards, and if so maybe I'll update you on how it went. In any case, I have always been really modest. My mom and sister used to tease me about it when I was little (I didn't grow up in a Christian household... My daughters will be praised for modesty. #offsoapbox).
I am SO nervous about being naked, or mostly naked, in front of someone touching me. I know that she's a professional, but still. Hopefully I tough it out alright! If you follow me on twitter, you will remember that this is the massage that was supposed to happen last week, but the therapist had a family emergency. That day was so terrible I didn't have time to be nervous. ugh.
{update: The massage was wonderful! I did feel a little uncomfortable at first, but the woman was great, and once the knots in my shoulders were loosened, I just didn't care anymore! haha}
THREE.Good Morning Girls starts today!! Well, technically yesterday, but the study is today. If you're interested in joining a group of girls who will hold each other accountable to spend daily time in God's word, you should head on over. There are groups that are still forming, or you can create your own. You may be a little behind, but I believe there is a grace period for signups (there was last season).
Last fall I showed you guys my prayer binder. The GMG website has an entire FREE e-book devotional and I loved printing it out and putting it into my binder. I would totally recommend it.
Also, the women who run GMG post super inspiring videos and posts every M/W/F about the study and other amazing God things. I feel like I know Courtney and Angela through them. This season should be incredible!

Letting Go of Survival Tactics

2012-01-15T18:51:00.001-08:00

The Backstory
Many of you know that I have suffered with anxiety for a couple of years now. I have, thankfully, been panic-attack free since this summer, and off of a daily anxiety pill regimen for a month and a half.

In lieu of the pills (I do carry fast acting ones, just in case, but have not needed them), I have been attending consistent counseling with an awesome Christian counselor here in Big City. Something I am learning is that I do not have to be in control. In fact, life is better when I let go of control. Not only that, I cannot control the actions of other people, and I am only responsible for myself.

My urge to control everything began when I was a small child. I grew up in a house ravaged by alcoholism and domestic violence, along with a drug addicted biological mother who only sometimes felt the urge to show up for visitation but twice attempted to kidnap me, succeeding one time and failing the other.

The only way I could survive was to be in control. No one else in my life was. So at 5 years old I took control of everything I could, and took care of everyone I could. I still struggle with perfectionism because I truly believed my straight A's and winning a spelling bee (that I lost) could keep my parents from getting angry and my dad from drinking. Thanks to moving a lot in the past 5 years, I have seen three separate counselors for this issue - although I didn't understand this was the problem until my first visit.

The grace of God has done a lot of great things in my family. My dad, sister and I have a fantastic relationship and just this morning I stood next to him while he sang worship songs this morning. I wish I could say the same about my mom and biological-mom but I can't...

The Story

Anyway, the point of this is: when things get rough, or hard, or scary I latch onto control. The hard thing about being in a long distance relationship is that you can't really do this. You are at the mercy of their cell phone provider - and your significant other's desire to pick up the phone when you are being a crazy girlfriend.

Last night the Boyfriend had a guys'-day that he told me shouldn't last all night. I am all for guys' days. Unless guys'-day turns into him not texting all night.

I worry when I don't hear from him. I have a fantastic imagination that can evoke car accidents, falls through the ice, and even visits to jail if I don't hear from him all night. (Again, this happens when you have to call 911 on your own parents growing up. It's not implausible in my head that someone I love deeply could go to jail and not be heard from all day long.) He knows this and 99% of the time he is really considerate of my fears.

Except, last night he went off the radar at 3:00 pm. No more texts, no calls, nothing. I woke up at 3:00 am worried sick and unable to fall back to sleep for quite some time. He finally texted at 8 am and told me what happened, that he loved me and missed me, and wanted me to come home. Sweet, right?

It would be, if I didn't want his whole life to revolve around me when I feel vulnerable. He texted a few more times that morning, but stopped after 11 am.

And then, I did something really shameful. I turned into "crazy-girlfriend." Not only did I grasp for control by sending a few too many texts interrogating him and calling him more than once when he didn't answer (to my credit, there were hour long increments in between these things), I threatened to assume the Boyfriend was with a girl if he did not call me that instant.

He was with a girl alright, and admitted so in an immediate text back that read: "I'm with my mom!"

He spent his day helping his parents pick out and install a new fridge that did not fit through their doors - thus requiring him to dismantle parts of their house, the new fridge and the old fridge. My boyfriend was doing a nice, kind thing for his family, and here I was on my couch FUMING over how selfish he was. He wasn't being selfish, he was genuinely busy helping someone and I know that he hates texting when he does things like this because it is rude. Not only was he being selfless, he was being polite.

There are times when the Boyfriend acts like an idiot. Then there are times when I act like an idiot.

Today, I won the "who is the biggest idiot battle" by acting like the biggest fool on the planet. Thankfully he gave me the grace I fully needed and accepted my apology.

But he never pointed out my flaws, or my craziness or how I had offended him. Instead, he apologized to me for not letting me know he was safe. He assured me that he really does want me home. He promised that he does not want to party with the guys more than he wants to be in love with me. And he was patient with my fears. He also accepted my apology, no matter how horrible of an accusation it was.

I wish I didn't have this urge to control everything. I wish I could let go of the survival tactics I learned as a child. But it's not that easy to forget 20 years of tension. So I will keep going to counseling, and I will keep asking for grace. Thankfully, I have a boyfriend who gives it to me in heaps.

Fill in the Blank Friday -

2012-01-13T07:35:00.000-08:00

Happy Fill in the Blank Friday!Head on over to the little things we do to participate. OR just get over there and send your best wishes to Lauren, whose little girl Fern is due in FIVE days!

1. The last thing I ate was two slices of frozen pizza for dinner. But right before that was a 1/4 of a bag of ruffles and ranch dip. So much for losing a few more pounds, huh?

2. The last song I listened to was I'm so excited you asked this! I was trying to think of a good reason to post this video on the blog. "Ours" by Taylor Swift. Minus the "gap in your teeth" and the fact that the video shows a man in the military, this song 100% reminds me of The Boyfriend. The one that I was listening to while writing this is "I don't want this Night to End," by Luke Bryan. Also adorable. Umm... basically just watch the "High 5" songs on CMT and that ought to do ya.

PS. Amanda, in order to be a true Nashville resident, you should probably study up on CMT!

3. Using the letters in my name I can spell {brittany}...brat (which is what I was on NE), rat (ew), rain, yar (if we were pirates), bar, bit, bat, brain. Fun! I've never done that before!

4. If I had to dress in one color for the rest of my life I would pick purple. Although, Lauren has a good point about blue jeans... MAN!

5. If you were to look in my bag right now you'd find sunglasses, my hobo wallet, two pairs of earbuds, my ipod, my erin condren planner, pennies, two cameras, fruit snacks and my coupon holder. OH, and various colors of highlighters and pens, and female-products.

6. When I finish filling in the blanks I'm going to actually get ready for work! I am such a procrastinator this week (and most Fridays, but whatever)!

7. My all time favorite song to dance to is oh man. I am trying to remember my law school days when I actually went dancing... I can't decide! It's too hard! As for what I dance to now, it's usually in the car on the way to see the Boyfriend - Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, Kelly Clarkson, and.... *blush* Ke$ha. I know, I know. .

Hope you all have a fantastic Friday!

My BFF Gives Long Distance Encouragement

2012-01-12T18:34:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are rather new (hi!), you may not have met my best friend yet. Her name is Mrs. S.

She blogs over at Lipstick and Leathernecks. "Interesting title," you may say. It's because she has been the wife to a brave marine for 5 years.
[[This blows my mind because it only seems like yesterday that I was her maid of honor.]]
Well, the best thing about having a best friend is that she picks you up when you're down.
Today I shared a bit of TMI on Twitter. I wore a black dress with black leggings to work today. I was trying to pull it off as a fashion statement, but the truth is that I haven't shaved my legs in a week.
Upon hearing this, the BFF pointed out that it was a perk to long distance. I said it was the only one.
So, instead of allowing me to continue to be in this mopey, depressed, hopeless mood, she wrote a blog for me. If you're in a long distance relationship, and looking for a bit of encouragement (or are a military spouse at all), head on over to L&L and check it out.

I.Am.Not.In.Control.

2012-01-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

I think that one thing God is trying to teach me through this long distance process is that I am not in control. He is.
And tell you what, sisters. I hate it.
I like being in control. I like a plan. I like knowing what is going to happen next.
Right now, I am totally out of control of what happens next. I cannot control when jobs open or when an opportunity to be together arises. I want a plan. I want a count down. I want to KNOW the future. At this very moment, I know nothing. I couldn't even tell you the next time the Boyfriend can come visit Big City or I might be able to escape to Small Town.
Because I know this logically, you would think that I would be a "strong Christian woman" and pray about it. Then put it into God's hands and let him do the work.
Instead, I spent the day becoming increasingly irritable over discomfort in my daily life, and the pure and simple fact that I cannot create a way for the Boyfriend and I to be in the same city by simply harassing the internet with a constant refresh of the classified pages.
Since I was open and honest about my strugles yesterday, I figured I'd keep that theme going today:
Right now I am somewhere between wanting to scream and throw things, or break down and cry.
It is not a good place to be in and I hope that I wake up tomorrow less abrasive. I also hope I wake up tomorrow to a job posting for my dream position in Small Town with a start date of ASAP. ... but I'm not holding my breath.
The one thing I do have a countdown for is the Siesta Scripture Memory Team Conference in Houston. It is 10 days away! I am BEYOND excited to get some real live teaching from Beth Moore herself. If anyone can whip me back into shape in my confidence in God's will, it's definitely her. If, by some slim chance, you are reading this and attending, PLEASE let me know!

Miscellany Monday - The New Years Eve Wherein I had a Meltdown

2012-01-09T19:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday! My Monday was going to be really happy thanks to a groupon for a fabulous massage. Until I got a phone call at 4 PM canceling said massage. Now it's just another Monday.

Which is when I thought, thank goodness for miscellany monday!

UNO.Something I am learning about long distance is that it is a lot of pressure. Last weekend (as in, not yesterday) I went to Small Town to see the Boyfriend. He said we would be ice fishing. I was stoked. I liked ice fishing.

Then, he kind of warned me, kind of threw on me that we would be camping. For two nights. I said "we'll see about night 2." We left the house Friday morning for the hour and a half trek to the wilderness. I proceeded to stall his brand new truck out on the highway with a trailer attached. It did not begin well.

DOS.Apparently to the Boyfriend, "we'll see" means "I know she'll love it and can tough it out, so I will make her." The first night an unexpected storm blew in with 60 MPH winds and whiteout conditions. Shortly after taking the above picture the guys had to tie the tent to the four wheelers to keep it on the ground.

Then we ate dinner like cowboys, cooking out of the cans they came in.

I am a light sleeper. A billowing tent, supposedly sturdy or not - that continually rips the stove pipe out of the stove while shooting flames everywhere - is not an ideal sleeping condition for me. If I had not been so worried about it burning down I would have taken a lunesta. (lest you think I'm exaggerating, the man who camped with us brought his own tent. The wind snapped one of the poles in half and he slept with us.)Long story short, it did not end well.
I lasted until Saturday afternoon. And then, I threw a temper tantrum. As in, a full on tear-fest while exclaiming:

"I want to go home. Why can't we just go home. I don't CARE that if we leave no one else will have a tent. I don't CARE that it will ruin everyone else's New Years Eve. No one is catching any fish. There probably aren't any freaking fish in this entire freaking lake.* I.want.to.go.home."

Not my proudest moment. (*The only person who caught a single fish was the Boyfriend. In two days. He had already caught them when I made this irrational and incorrect argument. But, like the theme of my melt down, I.did.not.care.)
TRES.Needless to say, the rest of the weekend was less than ideal. Thankfully, "the rest of the weekend" was only one day.

Morning 1:After my first request to not camp two nights. Before my melt down.
That half-smile is totally fake.

It was the first time in 15 months that we really learned there are days that you just can't get it right. No matter what we said or did on Sunday we upset the other. If we didn't feel so much pressure to treasure our every second together perfectly, we probably would have spent a few hours apart until we calmed down. Then we would have gone back to normal.
Instead, we weren't back to normal until Monday morning when he went to work and I began my drive to Big City. Such is life I suppose.QUATRO.I considered not sharing any of this. But post-fight and our first-bad-weekend-doing-long-distance I started to feel self conscious. I wondered if other people in long distance relationships ever fought. So I started asking around.
Apparently it's a long-distance secret that not every (sparing) moment together is perfect. So I wanted to put that out there. Don't be discouraged. One rough weekend does not mean we have some fatal flaw in our relationship. It means we're in a relationship. Period. Being long distance has its own set of challenges, but it doesn't erase the possibility of us disappointing each other or spending 1 1/2 of our 5 days this month fighting.
We are fine now. In fact, I think we are better than ever. It's funny how a few bad days can remind you how much you love a person and are willing to rough any waters to be with them.
Even if those waters mean sleeping on the floor, and sharing a bedroll, which sounded nice until he rolled it out and it was covered in bugs. Real, live, moving bugs. It still makes me shudder.

It did get a bit better on NYE - a few hours after my tantrum. These are real smiles.
Make-up-less, shower-less, no-toothbrush-all-weekend smiles.

CINCO.On a less dramatic note, I am starting to revise my NaNoWriMo novel. I went to Panera Bread on Saturday night and edited the first 10 pages. I didn't realize it would take so long. Then I set up a plan to edit 8 pages a day. If I did, the entire first draft would be edited by February 1st.
As for Sunday and today.... nothing. nada. zilch. No editing at all. I almost didn't do miscellany because I needed to edit. I was hoping this would get my creative juices flowing. So far: no go. Although I have edited this post several times, as well as the pictures from that weekend. So maybe that's a start.
SEIS.I wish I remembered more Spanish. The end.

Fill in the Blank Friday - Free Time

2012-01-06T07:36:00.000-08:00

I'm so glad it's Friday! Not only is the weekend so close I can smell it, and I get to wear jeans to work; it's time for fill in the blank friday!

1. One of my favorite things to do when I have free time is snuggle up with a good book.

2. When I have free time I tend to get less done. I just relax and rest around the house. If I'm feeling productive I will go run errands that I can't run during the week or clean out and organize an area of my house.

3. If I had an entire day completely to myself I would bring a good book, my bible, and a legal pad somewhere peaceful and inspiring. I'd write, read and generally get all of my thoughts out. Then I'd call a friend (or the Boyfriend if he were nearby) and see if they'd want to go grab soup and salad lunch. Then I'd go back to reading/writing as the inspiration comes.

4. I would prefer to spend my free time (alone or with others...) It depends. Sometimes I just really, really need time alone to think and soak things in. Othertimes I miss people and could spend hours catching up on the lives of friends or going on adventures .

5. Most of my free time happens on the weekend when the Boyfriend is out of town to see the Baby. He is busy and I don't want to call or text to interrupt his time with her. So instead I try to distract myself with any of the above. I'm trying to STOP filling my time with shopping, but I don't know how successful I'm being.

6. The best thing about free time is being able to relax for once. I only feel relaxed about once a month, if that.

7. The next time I have free time I should probably clean my house and send out resumes to people in Small Town, even though no one is openly hiring but instead, I'll probably feel bummed out and sit on my computer and mess around on twitter. Maybe I'll update the blog. ha.

New Look around TYD!

2012-01-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

Hey all of you RSS readers, I think you should head on over to my actual blog and check out the gorgeous design completed by Amanda at Royal Daughter Designs.

You should also head on over to her site and check it out, especially if you're in need of a new design :).

Winner!!

2012-01-02T16:02:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a New Year's Eve to remember!

I'm exhausted. I just barely got home from visiting Small Town.

But, I'm here to announce a winner of the J. Crew giveaway! The winner is Stacey P., who loves my second favorite store, Target!

I'll post a more substantive update on the weekend later. For now, I'm excited for Amanda to come stay the night on her journey across the country!

How to Spend your Christmas Money - The New Home

2011-12-30T06:30:00.000-08:00

This post is part of a mini-series based on the fact that so many families end up just handing out money on Christmas. Did this happen to you? Did they make you promise not to spend it on bills? Then read on for some ideas on how to spend it. Just make sure you tell them what you spent it on. People like that. Prior posts: {Bookworm} {Fitness} {Fanatic} {The Nerd}

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The Home-Owner

Did you get a new home this year? Is your humble abode looking pretty sparse? I can think of tons of sparkly and fun things to fill the space, but I will limit it to the categories below. :)

For your walls:

For your kitchen:

My life hasn't been the same since I got a KitchenAid Stand Mixer. Also, that wine opener is AMAZING! For all of you single girls who hate having a battle at the fridge with the bottle of wine, you NEED this opener. It is super easy and makes opening a bottle of wine a breeze. I no longer have to wish someone was around with the arm strength to pull out a cork, or come rescue me from having to work the cork out with a knife... oops.

As for a coffee maker, I know the Keurig is all the rage. But, I require too much coffee, way too often to be that picky. I love my Mr. Coffee. He is second first person I talk to every morning, after I text the Boyfriend and say hello.

To keep your hubby happy:

For your bum:

*Of note, at the time of writing, the sectional sofa is on sale for only $720, which I think is a total steal. I don't think I'd recommend it at full price though, just because of the sticker shock.*

I hope all of your homes are a sanctuary of love, peace and relaxation throughout 2012!

I hope you guys liked this series. See you in the new year!

*Side note: There are only hours left to enter the J. Crew Giveaway!*

How to Spend your Christmas Money - The "Nerd"

2011-12-29T06:30:00.000-08:00

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The Nerd

Do your friends and family call you a nerd? Do you like all things electronic? Then I would guess you had several techie items on that list of yours in the first place! Too bad people got you cash instead, huh? Well, here are some suggestions on how to fill your life with more electronics.

Do you need something new to play on?

Or how about something to talk to someone far away or keep your eye on the nanny (LOL!)?

Or maybe you have it all, and now it's time for some new Games in your collection?

***

{You may notice that nothing World of Warcraft was recommended on this list. I refuse to support WoW. I actually ask men, "do you play World of Warcraft?" before I will go on a date with them. If they answer yes, I will refuse the date. I had a boyfriend many moons ago who showed me how addictive that game is. It resulted in several "That is not real life!" fights. So, I suppose it is fun, but I just don't care. ha.}

***

No matter your favorite console, game genre, or accessory, I hope 2012 brings new technology and toys your way!

*Side note: There are 2 days left to enter the J. Crew Giveaway!*

How to Spend your Christmas Money - The Movie Fanatic

2011-12-28T06:30:00.000-08:00

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Ideas for the Movie Fanatic

Are you a movie fanatic? Can you quote every movie that was released this year? Then here are some ideas on how to spend that Christmas money!

First, are you fully prepared with everything you'll need to snuggle up and pop in your favorite picture?

Clearly, a 3d TV is a MUST for someone who loves movies. Personally, I am not a huge fan, and 3d creeps me out a bit. But I can't ignore a growing trend!

Are you all stocked up on movie watching tools? Then maybe it's time to add this year's best movies to your collection.

Maybe you are just getting started on your movie library. Do you not yet own a copy of the Notebook? How about the latest Disney release? Well, you better hop on the gravy train with some oldies but goodies!

Or maybe you're more of a TV show girl, like me. Who doesn't have time to watch an episode or two of your favorite comedy, drama or reality show?

No matter your favorite genre, I hope 2012 blows you away with all of the new releases, and hopefully brings one or two more Ryan Gosling movies to my door. *swoon*

*Side note: There are 3 days left to enter the J. Crew Giveaway!*