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Voice Comment: (206) 338-ONG-9

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Duration: 56:13 | 26.1MB | Mono |

Chatting with a couple of my Asian friends about Pride and being gay in Malaysia.

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Voice Comment: (206) 338-ONG-9

:: download file :: listen on iPhone ::

Duration: 59:16 | 27.5MB | Mono |

Gay role models in Asia. Sex in Asia. I broke into Malaysian English off and on.

I got a little bit nutty this afternoon, nutty in a sense that I actually considered telling my mom that I am gay.

I do not know what got into me this afternoon, but it never quite struck me before this that I should actually consider letting my mom know the truth regarding sexuality. But why? Well maybe I am just tired of hiding it from her all the time. I have always told her that “I will never get married”…to a man that is, but I never said anything about being married to a woman. I never denied being gay to my mother, and neither did I ever admit that I was straight, ever.

It did occur to me today that there is nothing thats stopping me from changing my status quo in my family. It is just really a matter of whether I wanted to. So what if her youngest daughter suddenly told her that she is gay? I mean, what is the most she could do to me? Throw me out? Disown me? Probably, but not likely – after all, I am her ‘anak kesayangan’ (I admit) since my (straight) siblings have already left the nest.

I think before this, the thought of ‘coming out’ of my parents would seem entirely alien. And by ‘this’ I would mean before graduating and getting a decent job, which I only just begun at this year. Now that I somewhat have control over my finances, its sure as hell is a possibility that I could one day go to my mom and tell her,”‘mom, I don’t like men and I cannot ever be with one”. Maybe…just maybe.

I wonder how many PLUs out there suffer this predicament; parents do not that know you are gay, mom wants to hook you up with so-and-so’s son who is a who’s-who of some company. It must annoy you to bits! And you just want to shout out aloud “Mom I’m gay!’. I address this topic to the boys too. It must be harder for them. If you’re 30 (for example), single, got a good job and gay, mom’s bound to realise that you have never brought any of your ’friends’ home for dinner.

I am quite fortunate to have parents that are quite liberal, liberal in a sense that they do not expect me to find a man and start making babies rightaway. As far as my mother goes, she is completely fine with me remaining single all my life…but me being a lesbian? I am….not so sure though.

The essence of ‘coming out’ is surely not confined to just your family. But I am sure, for many, that is the starting point as gaining acceptance for who you are from the people who are closest to you, surely means alot. But I am sure there are just as many of us who would rather hide the truth from mom and dad simply because we would rather not break their hearts. I think I am quite right to say that most parents would rather not have their children turn out to be gay.

And to be honest I am not sure about this whole ‘coming out’ thing either. Although most of my gay friends do tell me that I have ‘gay’ written all over me. But heck, what do they know, they are just as gay as I am (haha). Plus, I would be darned if people at work knew about how gay I was (very). Which makes me take a step back and look at this whole ‘coming out’ issue more carefully, now I simply would not want my boss or colleagues to know would I?No way.

It seems like I am taking baby-steps at coming out of the closet. It seems after spending 20-odd years in there (I have been gay for as long as I can remember) I have gotten quite comfortable in there, a tad reluctant to step out..perhaps doing it one foot at a time for now, and occasionally stepping back in and shutting the door because I just do not know if it will be okay if I come out.

Occasionally it does get a little lonely in there. I know a part of me feels the need to be addressed by my own ‘team’ someday. It could just be that I am longing to find somewhere I belong in this world. What about you?

I hope you do not think I am pathetic. I have only a handful of PLU friends and all my best friends are straight. I do not hang out at gay clubs because I am not really interested in the gay clubbing scene altogether. What I appreciate is people like you and me, who are realistic about living in this straight straight real world, were we have work, earn and face the boss, come home from work and have dinner with your mother.

I discovered TiltedWorld close to a year ago, and it took me that long to finally say something around here. Well, maybe I am taking baby steps at this whole ‘coming out’ thing, albeit too small of a step maybe. But then again, what is the rush in it? Being gay is about knowing who you are inside, rather than who knows that you are gay.

Visit Pride48.com to get the detailed schedule. Also visit the same site for the live even this weekend. There will also be a chat room. You can also use the hash tag #pride48 in Twitter to interact with the shows.

I will be hosting two sessions. One is specifically gearing toward my Asian listeners and the other for my American listeners.

Ongline Asia:
June 27: 7AM – 9AM (CDT)
June 27: 8PM – 10PM  (Malaysian Time)

Ongline:
June 28: 4PM – 6PM (CDT)
June 29: 5AM – 7AM (Malaysian Time)

Hi everyone,

First of all — a big thank you to you all for your support!

This is just to remind you about the event on Saturday, June 20th at Spaces, Besant Nagar. Highlights of the evening are the release of the Human Rights Watch report, “This Alien Legacy: The Origins of Sodomy Laws in British Colonialism” by Alok Gupta, a panel discussion featuring some of the most recognizable people in the field, and several performances. The Facebook page for the event, with details, is here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=103166419273.

Also, please take note that the Center for Counselling, Chennai will be holding a support group meeting for families of LGBT individuals, during which they can get factual information, ask questions and meet others who are struggling to cope with similar issues relating to their adult children. Entrance is free, but restricted to parents, siblings and LGBT individuals. Please RSVP your interest in attending to + 91-9884100135 or magdalene.jeyarathnam@gmail.com.

In other good news, we have secured the police permit for the parade on June 28! The parade will be along the Marina Beach stretch, and will start at 4pm at the Labour Statue.

We look forward to seeing you at the various Pride events — and thank you for your continued support. Please direct all further enquiries regarding the event at Spaces to Aniruddh at aniruddh.vasudevan@gmail.com, and enquiries regarding the parade to Shiva at shivaa.tn@gmail.com.

Much warmth,
Sharanya

For more information on the event, please visit the Facebook group: Chennai LGBT Pride 2009.

To Sharanya, Aniruddh, and everyone else involved: Good on ya! To those attending the parade, I hope you have fun, and heaps of pride. I know some may be hesitant about reactions towards the parade. Be brave, and I wish everyone a wonderful experience.

I dream of the day when we will hold a subversive pride parade in KL, followed by a legit one, and then…one day, our celebrations will be about how love belongs to us all.

Read Sharanya’s post, The Venus Flytrap: Not a Private Matter for her thoughts on sexuality rights, privacy and the pride parade.

A gentle reminder: you don’t necessarily have to be queer or fall into any of the four categories to walk in a pride parade .

This article is from NY Times: U.S. to Extend Its Job Benefits to Gay Partners

President Obama will sign a presidential memorandum Wednesday to extend benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees, administration officials said Tuesday evening, but he will stop short of pledging full health insurance benefits.

Mr. Obama is expected to announce, in the Oval Office, the details about which benefits would be provided. It is the highest-profile statement he has made on gay issues, and it comes as he faces intense criticism from several gay-rights leaders over what they suggest has been a failure to live up to campaign promises in the first months of his presidency.

Mr. Obama will be weighing in for the first time on one of the most sensitive social and political issues of the day: whether the government must provide benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees. While he will announce a list of benefits, officials said, they are not expected to include broad health insurance coverage, which could require legislation to achieve.

“Extending benefits to partners of gay federal employees is terrific, but at this point he is under enormous pressure from the gay civil rights community for having promised the moon and done nothing so far,” Richard Socarides, an adviser to the Clinton administration on gay issues, said Tuesday evening. “So more important now is what he says tomorrow about the future for gay people during his presidency.”

The breadth and scope of the memorandum to be signed by Mr. Obama was being finalized on Tuesday evening, according to administration officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity to avoid upstaging the president’s announcement on Wednesday.

The issue stems from a California case, where two judges of the federal appeals court said that employees of their court were entitled to health benefits for their same-sex partners under the program that insures millions of federal workers. But the federal Office of Personnel Management has instructed insurers not to provide the benefits ordered by the judges, citing a 1996 law, the Defense of Marriage Act.

As a presidential candidate, Mr. Obama vowed to “fight hard” for the rights of gay couples. As a senator, he sponsored legislation that would have provided health benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees. But since becoming president five months ago, Mr. Obama has not addressed the issue or whether gays can serve openly in the military, a point of contention for gay-rights groups.

Joe Solmonese, the president of the Human Rights Campaign, wrote an angry letter to the White House on Monday about the administration’s move to file a legal brief supporting the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act.

“As an American, a civil rights advocate, and a human being, I hold this administration to a higher standard than this brief,” Mr. Solmonese wrote. “In the course of your campaign, I became convinced — and I still want to believe — that you do, too.”

The brief, filed in federal court last week, was in response to a lawsuit arguing that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional.

A White House spokesman said that it was standard practice for the administration to back laws that are challenged in court — even those it does not agree with — and that the president “wants to see a legislative repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act.” Mr. Obama repeatedly backed repealing the act during his presidential campaign.

Kate Phillips contributed reporting from Washington.

Considering Obama’s administration declared June LGBT pride month, and the hopes he raised during the course of his campaign promises; there’ll be a lot of critical eyes on Obama during his presidential memorandum speech, and they won’t be bought over by anything other than equal rights. We shall see how it goes.

I will be joining one or possibly more sessions. I am planning to take calls on Skype and phone calls. More information to follow, once the schedule is being fixed.

If I manage to get a time that will be suitable for my listeners in Asia, I would love to hear about issues, topics, victory, challenges, etc from the GLBTQ community in Malaysia directly. Please tell your friends about this event. You can even be a part of the show. Stay tuned on TitledWorld.com for more information to come.

Visit Pride48.com for more information.

It’s hard to imagine this dance happening in my school, we had embedded Western definitions of masculinity within ourselves. I wish we could have pulled off something so gender-bending and fun. That’d be a keeper for the photo album.

Wait. I went to an all-girls school. Never mind then. Didn’t have boys, much less those inclined to perform dances originally choreographed for female Korean pop stars.

Still, now that I’m past my eagerness to be a Thai gender bender performer in my days of youth, I’ll no longer wish my 16-year-old (debating, choral speaking, tennis racquet swinging) girl self this dance.

(look out for the Wonder Gay shoutout at the end)

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