The formula for shyness is “too much focus on the self” plus anxiety. To make it even more unpleasant, sometimes when you are feeling shy, you experience physical sensations which “hijack” your calm, logical self.

How Shyness is Developed and Maintained:

Shyness is really a combination of social anxiety and social conditioning. To overcome shyness, you need to learn to relax socially. This enables you to direct your attention away from yourself and gives you the space to practice certain conversational skills. In most cases, the heightened emotions of socializing when young simply conditions the sufferer to respond to social events with fear, instead of excitement and pleasure.

Relaxed  socializing  is an advantage denied to many until they learn how to relax. To start reducing your own shyness, I want you to absorb the following tips and ideas and start to put them into practice:

7 Tips to Soothe Shyness:

1. Think about the way you feel and behave around familiar people you are comfortable and spontaneous around. It’s that feeling transferred to new people and situations that equates to your emerging social confidence.
2. Focus your attention away from yourself. Sure, you can think a little bit about how you are coming across, but if all your focus is on your own words and feelings then you might as well be by yourself. Notice what other people are wearing and make a mental note, listen to their conversation, imagine where they might live, make a point of remembering names. Not only does this give you more to talk about, it also “dilutes” social anxiety leaving you feeling calmer.
3. Ask people open questions. Many people like to talk about themselves and will find you interesting if you find them interesting. Ask questions that require more than a yes/no response such as, “What do you like about this place?” rather than, “Do you like this place?” Once they’ve answered, use “add-on” questions connected to the first one, such as: “‘What other places do you like in this city?” Next you can express your views. This is a great way to get the conversation going. If the conversation doesn’t “take,” then no matter, you’ve done your bit.
4. Stop trusting your imagination so much! Have you ever had an imaginary picture in your mind of a holiday destination only to arrive and find the reality is different from the way you had imagined? That’s how reliable imagination is. Stop imagining what others think. I’ve long since stopped trying to second guess what others think of me – it’s just too painful. Besides, what a person thinks about you has a lot more to do with who they are than who you are.
5. Stop using “all or nothing” thinking. The “completely this/completely that” style of thought occurs when you are emotional. People who are depressed, angry, or anxious see reality in terms of differing extremes, simplistic all or nothing terms. An angry person is “right” and you are “‘wrong”; the depressed person feels like a “failure” while others are “successful.”. In reality, life is composed of infinite gray areas. So stop fearing that you might say the “wrong” thing! Or, that people will “hate” you. Once you start to relax more socially, you’ll notice much less black and white thinking because anxiety actually causes you to think in all or nothing terms.
6. Take your time. You don’t have to blurt things out. Ask questions and if questions are asked of you, take time to consider your response (within reason). Don’t just blurt out what you think might be the “‘right” answer. A slow answer is a relaxed answer.
7. Finally, use hypnotic rehearsal. Hypnosis is the quickest way to change your instinctive/emotional response to any situation. Only think about meeting others when your mind and body is relaxed. This conditions you to associate relaxation with being around new people. In fact, you’ll find that when you relax deeply enough often enough while hypnotically rehearsing being comfortable around others, you’ll reach the point where you just can’t be shy any more! This is what I call a “‘happy inability!”

WHERE TO GO FROM HERE:

• The Shyness Breakthrough
• The Mindful Path Through Shyness
• Say Goodbye to Being Shy
  

Overcome shyness now at HypnosisDownloads.com.Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.

Why set yourself up for disappointment?

Just say “NO!” to New Year’s Resolutions, but “YES!” to any resolution that comes directly from your heart. Trust your instincts. Don’t listen to outside voices that tell you how to live your life.  Instead,  listen to your inner voice…your intuition.

If you’ve gained a few pounds over the holidays, you know exactly how to lose that extra weight. Consume fewer calories, exercise more. Duh!

If you want to quit smoking, you can go “cold turkey” or you can use one of our excellent recordings to ease you into the non-smoker’s state of mind. Be kind to yourself. Why struggle if you don’t have to? Life is hard enough without heaping unrealistic expectations on yourself.

Treat yourself as you would any dear friend that you love. Eliminate guilt, stress, anxiety, and feelings of low self-esteem the quick and easy way.

• Meditate your problems away
• Exercise with a friend
• Accept yourself completely

When you become your own best friend, you will find that life is more pleasurable. You will find joy in the here and now, and fulfillment in the most unexpected places.

Open yourself up to this journey called “life.” Do not “should” all over yourself.

Hamlet’s words are as true today as when Shakespeare first wrote them: “This above all: to thine own self be true.”

As for New Year’s Resolutions? Bah! Humbug! Resolve to be your best every single day of the year.

Where to go from here:

• Feel Good! Look Good!
• Overcome Fear and Anxiety
• Dealing with Guilt
• Stop Smoking Now
• Weight Management Program
  

I don’t know about you, but I’m not quite ready for Christmas. I know…the clock is tick, tick, ticking (deep sigh!). I need to get with the program, I mean, the season.

This video inspired me to think BIG! I hope you enjoy it, and, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

You may start to wonder if you’re ready for the holidays. If you’ll EVER be ready. You may also fear falling apart and letting everyone down. Tahiti may  sound like the perfect solution to your problem.

If you start feeling overwhelmed and under-appreciated, realize that you’re not alone. Don’t worry about meeting everyone’s unrealistic expectations. Focus on keeping yourself healthy. This means plenty of sleep, and a regimen of proper nutrition and regular exercise.

If you’re out of work or on a strict budget, you may feel even more stressed. It’s perfectly natural to feel depressed during the holidays. Life is not a sitcom with everything working out in 30 minutes. Reality can be harsh, especially if there are financial considerations. You may start to dread the holidays, thus depriving yourself of what should be a wonderful time for you and your family. Do not allow yourself to miss out on the joys of the season. Don’t make it about shopping and spending lots of money.

It’s better to give your family love, attention, and happy memories, than to buy them more “stuff” while you feel resentful and hostile. You won’t be able to hide those feelings, no matter how great an actress you may think you are.

If you start to experience the symptoms of depression, try some of these natural approaches for stress relief.

Breathing Exercises to Eliminate Stress:

Close your eyes and take a deep, cleansing breath. Breathe deeply in through your nose, feel your abdomen expand, hold to the count of three, then whoosh out through your mouth slowly. Repeat this exercise four or five times. This can be done while sitting or standing. Your body will quickly respond to this breathing technique, and relaxation will surge through your system.

Talking Your Stress Away:

Stress can be greatly reduced simply by sharing your thoughts and problems with someone. Find a friend or family member who is a good listener. Someone who truly cares about you. Someone you can count on for discretion. Call your best friend and discuss your feelings with her. After a few minutes, you will no longer be aware of your stress. Once you and your friend start laughing and reminiscing, all your anxiety will fade away. You will feel renewed and ready to take on the world again.

Home Remedies to Relieve Stress:

• Yogurt. Plain yogurt with your favorite fruit is healthy and contains the essential vitamins of A, D, and B-Complex. The calcium in yogurt is good for your bones as well as your nervous system.
• A soothing cup of tea.  The tea can be green, black, white, red, or an herbal variety. All teas contain antioxidants, which not only fight stress, but protect you from free radicals that surround your environment. Add some natural agave, and take a few minutes to sip your tea while reading a book, taking a bath, or watching your favorite television show. This is mom’s “time-out.”
• Holy Basil or Tulsi. This is an Indian herb that reduces stress, enhances stamina, lowers cholesterol, eliminates toxins, improves digestion, and provides a rich supply of antioxidants. Holy Basil may be taken as a supplement or in the tea section of your favorite health store.

These methods are fast, easy, safe, and natural. You don’t have to worry about adverse side effects.

So, before you go to your doctor and ask for meds to get you through the holidays, try any or all of these methods. Learn how to manage and relieve stress permanently.

Where to go from here:

• The De-Stress Diva’s Guide to Life
• All Natural Massage Oil Candles
• Herbs for Strength, Stamina, and Stress Relief
• The Natural Way to Release Stress and Heal Your Heart
• How to Deal With Stress
  

If you incorporate the following steps into your life, you will be happier and feel more empowered:

1. Begin to lift yourself up, not put yourself down. If you don’t like something about yourself, work to change it. If you can’t change it, simply accept it. Don’t beat yourself up with negative self-talk. You’re not likely to change for the better when you fill yourself with negative thoughts.

2. Give yourself positive rewards. When you do something wonderful, give yourself a small reward. Don’t wait for others to praise you because you may grow resentful if the praise doesn’t come. Pat your own back! It’s a great feeling that can stay with you for a long time.

3. Forgive yourself. You would never continue to scold a child over and over for making a mistake…so don’t do that to yourself. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness when you make a mistake. After that, figure out what lesson you have learned, and use it to make better choices the next time.

4. Enjoy your successes. Most people can remember all of the details of depressing, painful, or even embarrassing events that happened many years ago. What if you did the same thing with all of your wins? Try to remember all of the triumphs and accomplishments in your life and recall that memory at least once a week.

5. Remember to celebrate your uniquely incredible qualities! You will soon discover that the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others – and the more others will be able to love you!

Next Steps:

For more help, instantly access your Journey To Joy Book for a happier and more fulfilled you. This inspiring eBook with accompanying audio recordings, worksheets, and easy-to-apply action steps shows you how to take back the joy in your life.

Communicate Expectations – Tell your teen in a nonthreatening but firm manner that you will not accept their staying in bed all morning and afternoon. It is perfectly reasonable to ask that they get up at a decent hour. Explain that you want them to do more than merely watch TV, play video games, or visit social networking sites all day.

If your teen wants you to help pay for their summer activities, they should be willing to abide by a few summer guidelines. Set an age appropriate, specific time that you expect them to be home, based upon the level of trust they have earned. Ask them to take on a couple of extra chores during the summer to earn some pocket money. These chores could be for you or someone else, but make sure they go above and beyond the normal, everyday chores that every member of the family should be expected to do.

Get Them Engaged – Whether you ask them to help you more around the house, participate in volunteer activities in the community, or help them get a job, you want them to be engaged in something worthwhile. Give them encouragement to help at a YMCA, children’s program, or nursing home. They may find they truly enjoy these volunteer activities and you will help them appreciate the joys of serving others that will last a lifetime.

Help them find volunteer positions by calling around to local places of worship, daycares, charities, or nursing homes. Local businesses may be hiring summer help; offer to help them find a job to earn some extra money. This will help them learn to manage money, but will also help them realize the value of their time. If they get paid by the hour, they might be less likely to fritter their time away.

Spend Family Time – Avoid giving lectures about what they should do during the summer. (Lectures, period, are ineffective with teens.) Instead, find activities that you can do with them. You don’t have to spend every waking moment with your teen, but take some time to take them shopping, go to a movie, or out for a coffee. Keep it relaxed and let your teen open up to you in their own time and way. Summertime is a great time to reconnect with your teen. Don’t let these weeks go by without taking this time to slow down and just be together.

Encourage Physical Activity – Take time to learn or play a new sport with your teen. Not only will this help your teen be more active during the summer, it’ll help you get some much needed exercise, too. Boys in particular are more likely to enjoy “side by side” activities. These are often great times to open dialogue with your son about important issues. Give tennis, swimming, cycling, or rollerblading a try. You both will benefit your health and well being.

Parents all over the country complain that their teens get lazy during the summer break. But teens, just like toddlers, need guidance, clear communication, and reminders of your expectations in order to be successful. These tips should get you well on your way. Ask your teen if there are things they’d like to accomplish before school starts, and then help them to meet those goals.

Need More Help?

Here are three guides to help you reconnect with your teen, so you can help them with the rocky road of being a teenager.

1. If you’re gearing up for another summer with your teen and want to dread trying to keep them occupied, happy and out of trouble, check out School’s Out for plenty of expert resources to make it a great summer.

2. Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen shows you how to accept what you can and cannot control in your teen’s life, how to cope with mood swings, keeping the lines of communication open.

3. Real Life Guidance to Helping Your Teen in High School includes practical suggestions to help your child find his/her identity, avoid bullies, handle peer pressure and more.

Grab them all to be armed with the easy-to-follow advice at your fingertips. They’re available for instant download, which means you can get the help you need any day of the week, even if it’s the middle of the night.

Does Your Child Have School Anxiety?

As parents, your natural instinct is to soothe your child’s fears. This has been your job from day one. So it is very disturbing when your child suffers from school anxiety. You would do anything to make your child feel better, if only you knew what to do.

Anxiety is a normal part of being a child. Nearly every child is afraid of something at some point. But when a child starts to dread everyday situations like school, due to fear, this is not the norm. This is a phobia.

School Anxiety in Children

A child often doesn’t have the words to describe what is happening to him or her when they’re feeling anxious. Therefore, as parents and caregivers, it is important to identify the signs and symptoms the child is exhibiting.

A young child with school anxiety may complain of stomach aches or feeling sick in the morning. They may have trouble sleeping at night. They may frequent the nurse’s office with vague symptoms. They may cry and beg to stay home.

Older children may feign illness in order to stay home. They may cut classes where they feel vulnerable, such as a public speaking or theater class, where they have to perform in front of peers.

If a child’s school anxiety goes unrecognized and is left untreated, the symptoms may worsen and be much more difficult to handle. The anxiety may begin to interfere with the child’s relationships and other social development.

What Parents Can Do About School Anxiety

As parents, we must advocate for our children. When you first suspect your child is experiencing school anxiety, have your pediatrician do a thorough evaluation to rule out any physical cause.

Do not give in to your child’s anxiety. As hard as it may be, it’s better for your child to continue going to school each day. If you let her stay home whenever she feels anxious, you reinforce avoidance behavior. This only makes it harder on your child in the long run.

Evaluate Your Home

Is there a major transition going on such as a move, job loss, new baby, divorce, or death? Stress in the home can trigger anxiety in children. Make sure you are coping appropriately with stress, as your child will model your behavior.

Enlist the Help of the School

Most school professionals are familiar with school anxiety and phobias in children. Many schools today have a social worker or school psychologist on staff.

Arrange a confidential meeting to discuss your child’s situation and fears. You can also speak to the school nurse or the principal. And, of course, you want to speak to your child’s teacher.

When parents collaborate effectively with the school, the child’s situation will be much more manageable. Have a plan in place where your child can speak to the nurse whenever he or she feels anxious. The parents and school should work together to keep the anxious child in school, and reinforce the fact that she is safe while she is there.

Once your child feels she is being understood and that people at school are supportive and helpful, the school anxiety is likely to diminish quickly. Then, your child can get back to business as usual.

Jill Green is a recovering anxious person who teaches others how to stop panic attacks and live a life of freedom from fear at her anxiety self help blog: http://panicfreeme.com.

Where to go from here:

• Treatment for General Anxiety
• Stop Panic and Anxiety Program
• School Phobia, Panic Attacks,  and Anxiety in Children
• Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-By-Step Guide
• Freeing Your Child From Anxiety
  

When you are trying to get pregnant with your first baby, your life is undergoing a wide range of exciting changes, and you are moving to the next stage of adulthood. Most women experience their decision to try for a baby, and the process of trying to conceive itself, as a joyous one. Nonetheless, trying to conceive a baby can be very stressful too. Not just because women who are trying for their first baby are taking a step into the unknown, but also because there can be a lot of pressure to get pregnant quickly.

If you have been using an ovulation calendar and ovulation predictor kits to get pregnant, or are charting to conceive, I am sure you know what I am talking about! Many couples feel that their intimate times together, which used to relieve stress, have turned into a chore, and something that has to be timed carefully to increase the likelihood of pregnancy. Perhaps this is the main reason why couples who are hoping for a baby experience a high level of tensions.

Fertility yoga is one of the best ways to rid the body and mind of these tensions and learn to let go of everyday stress. Other types of exercises, which can serve the body excellently, sometimes forget that the mind needs a work-out, too! But fertility yoga is not only good for general relaxation – women who are trying to conceive can use specific yoga poses to increase blood circulation to the relevant parts of their body, and make their whole organism more receptive to a pregnancy.

What’s more – you can keep practicing fertility yoga throughout your pregnancy to keep up fitness levels and reduce stress. Some mothers even find strength in fertility yoga while they are laboring, and mother and baby yoga classes are gaining in popularity. In short, fertility yoga is something that can stay with you throughout life!

Where to go from here:

• Yoga Practices for Fertility-DVD
• Restoring Fertility-DVD
• The Fertile Kitchen Cookbook:Simple Recipes for Optimizing Your Fertility
  
• Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility
• Fully Fertile: A 12-Week Holistic Plan for Optimal Fertility
  

Are you stressed and fed up with the constant demands from your family? How often during your day do you hear the words, “Mom, can I…..” or “Mom, do you know where my…. is?” Have you lost count of the amount of times you have argued with your partner/children about whose turn it is to load the dishwasher or to wash-up and put the dishes away?

Have you ever thought, “I wonder what it would be like to close shop for a day, to sit back and just relax? To have someone else cook, clean and shop for you – just for a few days while you spend some time alone, maybe with your girlfriends to rest, get your strength and energy back?”

As a busy working mom, it is hard for you to find time to care for yourself. Family commitments and social obligations tend to be your first priority. Making time for you – to have a spot of “Me-Time” seems like a luxury.

Well, believe it or not, given the multitude of things you do, it is essential you find time during your day to care for and nurture yourself. If you keep on reacting to everyone else’s schedule and neglecting yourself, chances are by the end of the day you are ratty, snappy and grumpy…and definitely not in the mood for a romantic interlude with your partner! All you want to do is eat, shower, and go to bed.

That is no way to live. You are naturally a vibrant, cheerful woman, yet somehow life has got you down. You used to gain a lot of satisfaction from work, now it just feels a chore and another thing to think about. You love your family, but there are times when it all feels too much for you.

If this sounds like you, don’t worry. Stress relief is on its way. Take a few minutes to sit down and read the following five fun tips. They are short and sweet and designed to support you rediscover the joys of rest and relaxation.

Five Fun Tips To Relax And Overcome Stress:

1. Rest your eyes. Your eyes are unique and eye care is often neglected. Gently close your eyes and place cupped palms over your eyes. Stay still and take a few rounds of slow deep breathing. Make sure your jaw is relaxed as you breathe in and out through your nose.

2. Play music. Classical, rock, R & B or good ole country music. Whatever style of music relaxes and turns you on, play it, sing along, and feel good as you reconnect with your inner heart song.

3. Learn to trust your intuition. Stress happens when you do too much and don’t take time to relax, rest, and recharge your batteries. No wonder you get overwhelmed and stressed-out. Learn to say “no.” Stop and trust your intuition more often. This may prevent you from agreeing to do something which, in the long run, is detrimental to your health and well-being.

4. Relax your body. Lie down in a quiet and, if possible, darkened room. Slowly tense and relax first your legs, then your arms, and your buttocks. Then, stretch your shoulders up to your ears, close your eyes, scrunch up and relax your face. Take a deep breath in and slowly breathe out. Try and lay still for at least 10 minutes before getting up and reengaging with your day.

5. Give yourself a big bear hug. You deserve it. As you hug yourself, smile and be happy for being the special person you are. Spend a few minutes sitting quietly recalling pleasant, happy thoughts.

So, next time you feel frazzled, frumpy and grumpy, take a few minutes to rest and recharge your batteries by practicing any of the five fun quick tips above. You will feel refreshed, calm and revitalized; better able to give your best to friends, family, and job. I would love to know how you feel after you do any of these exercises. Please drop me a line and let me know.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ntathu_Allen

Where to go from here:

• How To Deal With Stress
• Relaxation Hypnosis
• How To Rid Yourself Of Stress And Anxiety
• A Guided Meditation
• Quiet Mind
  

Ideas for coping with stress:

1. Understand more about stress – this involves recognising your sources of stress and how stress affects you personally.  Plan for stressful periods.

2. Problem-solve – what is the problem, be specific and break it down into realistic achievable components.  Then set goals on how to deal with each problem.  Make sure you include how to begin your plan of action.

3. Develop new behavior – if you take on too much or have problems saying no, learn to be assertive.  There are plenty of courses at local colleges or you may prefer to see a therapist 1:1.  Learn to manage your time more effectively and delegate wherever possible!  Avoid procrastination; whilst you are not doing it, you’ll only be spending energy worrying about it.

4. Make sure you develop a support network – deliberately develop good supportive relationships.  Ask for help when needed and accept it when offered.  You must also be prepared to do the same for others.

5. Make time to relax and enjoy yourself – how many of us know we should do more of this but don’t make the time?  Set aside time each day to relax and build this into your routine.  Develop hobbies and leisure activities that help you too switch off.

Can you imagine yourself doing any of these activities when you need to cope?

Asserting yourself – Contacting one of your supports – Listening to music

Exercising- Taking a break – Going to a movie -Reading a book -Laughing/crying – Taking a walk – Taking a nice long bath – Writing a letter or a journal – Learning something new – Eating something healthy – Helping someone else.

It is important to identify and practice using coping tools if you want to be able to deal with your stress successfully.  Obviously, it is not always possible to plan for stress as situations can happen that we do not expect.  If you find yourself experiencing a period of crises, or intense painful emotions there are still coping strategies that you can employ in that moment.

Ideas for coping with acute emotional distress:

1. Use of distraction – the aim of this is to limit the time you spend in contact with the emotional stimuli, the things that are causing you to feel emotional.  The stimuli could be anything from another person to the thoughts that you are having.  Distraction involves doing something else to absorb your attention.

2. Imagery – think of safe and soothing images.  This involves imagining images that make you feel good, it may be a favourite place, person, pet or scenes from nature.

3. Relaxation – learn a simple technique like using peripheral vision to induce relaxation. Peripheral vision is effective at switching on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system responsible for making us feel calm.  It’s not possible to feel anxious or distressed whilst fully relaxed in peripheral vision.

4. One thing in the moment – as adults we tend to spend much of our time stuck contemplating what went wrong in the past or what may go wrong in the future.  Try and just focus on the ‘moment’.  Perhaps this may involve thinking something like ‘I’m in my house in my favourite chair, I’m warm and comfortable and I have a good book to read’.

5. Exercise – physical activity can help to disperse the chemicals released in your body by the stress response.  It also releases feel good chemicals known as endorphins.

6. Soothe yourself – do something to nurture your 5 senses.  Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Karen Hastings is an occupational therapist, master NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist.  Karen uses hypnotic techniques alongside NLP to help people stop smoking.  Karen is based in Edinburgh and also offers home-visits in Edinburgh and Bucks.  Visit http://www.karenhastings.co.uk for more information.

Where to go from here:

• Hypnosis for Anxiety Disorders
• Overcome Anxiety and Stress Naturally
• How to Rid Yourself of Stress and Anxiety
• Stressed and Anxious? 7 Tips for Busy Moms
• A Beginner’s Guide to Meditation