The formula for shyness is “too much focus on the self” plus anxiety. To make it even more unpleasant, sometimes when you are feeling shy, you experience physical sensations which “hijack” your calm, logical self.How Shyness is Developed and Maintained:

Shyness is really a combination of social anxiety and social conditioning. To overcome shyness, you need to learn to relax socially. This enables you to direct your attention away from yourself and gives you the space to practice certain conversational skills. In most cases, the heightened emotions of socializing when young simply conditions the sufferer to respond to social events with fear, instead of excitement and pleasure.

Relaxed  socializing  is an advantage denied to many until they learn how to relax. To start reducing your own shyness, I want you to absorb the following tips and ideas and start to put them into practice:

7 Tips to Soothe Shyness:

1. Think about the way you feel and behave around familiar people you are comfortable and spontaneous around. It’s that feeling transferred to new people and situations that equates to your emerging social confidence.
2. Focus your attention away from yourself. Sure, you can think a little bit about how you are coming across, but if all your focus is on your own words and feelings then you might as well be by yourself. Notice what other people are wearing and make a mental note, listen to their conversation, imagine where they might live, make a point of remembering names. Not only does this give you more to talk about, it also “dilutes” social anxiety leaving you feeling calmer.
3. Ask people open questions. Many people like to talk about themselves and will find you interesting if you find them interesting. Ask questions that require more than a yes/no response such as, “What do you like about this place?” rather than, “Do you like this place?” Once they’ve answered, use “add-on” questions connected to the first one, such as: “‘What other places do you like in this city?” Next you can express your views. This is a great way to get the conversation going. If the conversation doesn’t “take,” then no matter, you’ve done your bit.
4. Stop trusting your imagination so much! Have you ever had an imaginary picture in your mind of a holiday destination only to arrive and find the reality is different from the way you had imagined? That’s how reliable imagination is. Stop imagining what others think. I’ve long since stopped trying to second guess what others think of me – it’s just too painful. Besides, what a person thinks about you has a lot more to do with who they are than who you are.
5. Stop using “all or nothing” thinking. The “completely this/completely that” style of thought occurs when you are emotional. People who are depressed, angry, or anxious see reality in terms of differing extremes, simplistic all or nothing terms. An angry person is “right” and you are “‘wrong”; the depressed person feels like a “failure” while others are “successful.”. In reality, life is composed of infinite gray areas. So stop fearing that you might say the “wrong” thing! Or, that people will “hate” you. Once you start to relax more socially, you’ll notice much less black and white thinking because anxiety actually causes you to think in all or nothing terms.
6. Take your time. You don’t have to blurt things out. Ask questions and if questions are asked of you, take time to consider your response (within reason). Don’t just blurt out what you think might be the “‘right” answer. A slow answer is a relaxed answer.
7. Finally, use hypnotic rehearsal. Hypnosis is the quickest way to change your instinctive/emotional response to any situation. Only think about meeting others when your mind and body is relaxed. This conditions you to associate relaxation with being around new people. In fact, you’ll find that when you relax deeply enough often enough while hypnotically rehearsing being comfortable around others, you’ll reach the point where you just can’t be shy any more! This is what I call a “‘happy inability!”

WHERE TO GO FROM HERE:

• The Shyness Breakthrough
• The Mindful Path Through Shyness
• Say Goodbye to Being Shy
  

Overcome shyness now at HypnosisDownloads.com.Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.

If you incorporate the following steps into your life, you will be happier and feel more empowered:1. Begin to lift yourself up, not put yourself down. If you don’t like something about yourself, work to change it. If you can’t change it, simply accept it. Don’t beat yourself up with negative self-talk. You’re not likely to change for the better when you fill yourself with negative thoughts.

2. Give yourself positive rewards. When you do something wonderful, give yourself a small reward. Don’t wait for others to praise you because you may grow resentful if the praise doesn’t come. Pat your own back! It’s a great feeling that can stay with you for a long time.

3. Forgive yourself. You would never continue to scold a child over and over for making a mistake…so don’t do that to yourself. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness when you make a mistake. After that, figure out what lesson you have learned, and use it to make better choices the next time.

4. Enjoy your successes. Most people can remember all of the details of depressing, painful, or even embarrassing events that happened many years ago. What if you did the same thing with all of your wins? Try to remember all of the triumphs and accomplishments in your life and recall that memory at least once a week.

5. Remember to celebrate your uniquely incredible qualities! You will soon discover that the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others – and the more others will be able to love you!

Next Steps:

For more help, instantly access your Journey To Joy Book for a happier and more fulfilled you. This inspiring eBook with accompanying audio recordings, worksheets, and easy-to-apply action steps shows you how to take back the joy in your life.

Communicate Expectations – Tell your teen in a nonthreatening but firm manner that you will not accept their staying in bed all morning and afternoon. It is perfectly reasonable to ask that they get up at a decent hour. Explain that you want them to do more than merely watch TV, play video games, or visit social networking sites all day.If your teen wants you to help pay for their summer activities, they should be willing to abide by a few summer guidelines. Set an age appropriate, specific time that you expect them to be home, based upon the level of trust they have earned. Ask them to take on a couple of extra chores during the summer to earn some pocket money. These chores could be for you or someone else, but make sure they go above and beyond the normal, everyday chores that every member of the family should be expected to do.

Get Them Engaged – Whether you ask them to help you more around the house, participate in volunteer activities in the community, or help them get a job, you want them to be engaged in something worthwhile. Give them encouragement to help at a YMCA, children’s program, or nursing home. They may find they truly enjoy these volunteer activities and you will help them appreciate the joys of serving others that will last a lifetime.

Help them find volunteer positions by calling around to local places of worship, daycares, charities, or nursing homes. Local businesses may be hiring summer help; offer to help them find a job to earn some extra money. This will help them learn to manage money, but will also help them realize the value of their time. If they get paid by the hour, they might be less likely to fritter their time away.

Spend Family Time – Avoid giving lectures about what they should do during the summer. (Lectures, period, are ineffective with teens.) Instead, find activities that you can do with them. You don’t have to spend every waking moment with your teen, but take some time to take them shopping, go to a movie, or out for a coffee. Keep it relaxed and let your teen open up to you in their own time and way. Summertime is a great time to reconnect with your teen. Don’t let these weeks go by without taking this time to slow down and just be together.

Encourage Physical Activity – Take time to learn or play a new sport with your teen. Not only will this help your teen be more active during the summer, it’ll help you get some much needed exercise, too. Boys in particular are more likely to enjoy “side by side” activities. These are often great times to open dialogue with your son about important issues. Give tennis, swimming, cycling, or rollerblading a try. You both will benefit your health and well being.

Parents all over the country complain that their teens get lazy during the summer break. But teens, just like toddlers, need guidance, clear communication, and reminders of your expectations in order to be successful. These tips should get you well on your way. Ask your teen if there are things they’d like to accomplish before school starts, and then help them to meet those goals.

Need More Help?

Here are three guides to help you reconnect with your teen, so you can help them with the rocky road of being a teenager.

1. If you’re gearing up for another summer with your teen and want to dread trying to keep them occupied, happy and out of trouble, check out School’s Out for plenty of expert resources to make it a great summer.

2. Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen shows you how to accept what you can and cannot control in your teen’s life, how to cope with mood swings, keeping the lines of communication open.

3. Real Life Guidance to Helping Your Teen in High School includes practical suggestions to help your child find his/her identity, avoid bullies, handle peer pressure and more.

Grab them all to be armed with the easy-to-follow advice at your fingertips. They’re available for instant download, which means you can get the help you need any day of the week, even if it’s the middle of the night.

As parents, your natural instinct is to soothe your child’s fears. This has been your job from day one. So it is very disturbing when your child suffers from school anxiety. You would do anything to make your child feel better, if only you knew what to do.

Anxiety is a normal part of being a child. Nearly every child is afraid of something at some point. But when a child starts to dread everyday situations like school, due to fear, this is not the norm. This is a phobia.School Anxiety in Children

A child often doesn’t have the words to describe what is happening to him or her when they’re feeling anxious. Therefore, as parents and caregivers, it is important to identify the signs and symptoms the child is exhibiting.

A young child with school anxiety may complain of stomach aches or feeling sick in the morning. They may have trouble sleeping at night. They may frequent the nurse’s office with vague symptoms. They may cry and beg to stay home.

Older children may feign illness in order to stay home. They may cut classes where they feel vulnerable, such as a public speaking or theater class, where they have to perform in front of peers.

If a child’s school anxiety goes unrecognized and is left untreated, the symptoms may worsen and be much more difficult to handle. The anxiety may begin to interfere with the child’s relationships and other social development.

What Parents Can Do About School Anxiety

As parents, we must advocate for our children. When you first suspect your child is experiencing school anxiety, have your pediatrician do a thorough evaluation to rule out any physical cause.

Do not give in to your child’s anxiety. As hard as it may be, it’s better for your child to continue going to school each day. If you let her stay home whenever she feels anxious, you reinforce avoidance behavior. This only makes it harder on your child in the long run.

Evaluate Your Home

Is there a major transition going on such as a move, job loss, new baby, divorce, or death? Stress in the home can trigger anxiety in children. Make sure you are coping appropriately with stress, as your child will model your behavior.

Enlist the Help of the School

Most school professionals are familiar with school anxiety and phobias in children. Many schools today have a social worker or school psychologist on staff.

Arrange a confidential meeting to discuss your child’s situation and fears. You can also speak to the school nurse or the principal. And, of course, you want to speak to your child’s teacher.

When parents collaborate effectively with the school, the child’s situation will be much more manageable. Have a plan in place where your child can speak to the nurse whenever he or she feels anxious. The parents and school should work together to keep the anxious child in school, and reinforce the fact that she is safe while she is there.

Once your child feels she is being understood and that people at school are supportive and helpful, the school anxiety is likely to diminish quickly. Then, your child can get back to business as usual.

Jill Green is a recovering anxious person who teaches others how to stop panic attacks and live a life of freedom from fear at her anxiety self help blog: http://panicfreeme.com.

Where to go from here:

• Treatment for General Anxiety
• Stop Panic and Anxiety Program
• School Phobia, Panic Attacks,  and Anxiety in Children
• Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-By-Step Guide
• Freeing Your Child From Anxiety
  

When you are trying to get pregnant with your first baby, your life is undergoing a wide range of exciting changes, and you are moving to the next stage of adulthood. Most women experience their decision to try for a baby, and the process of trying to conceive itself, as a joyous one. Nonetheless, trying to conceive a baby can be very stressful too. Not just because women who are trying for their first baby are taking a step into the unknown, but also because there can be a lot of pressure to get pregnant quickly.If you have been using an ovulation calendar and ovulation predictor kits to get pregnant, or are charting to conceive, I am sure you know what I am talking about! Many couples feel that their intimate times together, which used to relieve stress, have turned into a chore, and something that has to be timed carefully to increase the likelihood of pregnancy. Perhaps this is the main reason why couples who are hoping for a baby experience a high level of tensions.

Fertility yoga is one of the best ways to rid the body and mind of these tensions and learn to let go of everyday stress. Other types of exercises, which can serve the body excellently, sometimes forget that the mind needs a work-out, too! But fertility yoga is not only good for general relaxation – women who are trying to conceive can use specific yoga poses to increase blood circulation to the relevant parts of their body, and make their whole organism more receptive to a pregnancy.

What’s more – you can keep practicing fertility yoga throughout your pregnancy to keep up fitness levels and reduce stress. Some mothers even find strength in fertility yoga while they are laboring, and mother and baby yoga classes are gaining in popularity. In short, fertility yoga is something that can stay with you throughout life!

Where to go from here:

• Yoga Practices for Fertility-DVD
• Restoring Fertility-DVD
• The Fertile Kitchen Cookbook:Simple Recipes for Optimizing Your Fertility
  
• Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility
• Fully Fertile: A 12-Week Holistic Plan for Optimal Fertility
  

Are you stressed and fed up with the constant demands from your family? How often during your day do you hear the words, “Mom, can I…..” or “Mom, do you know where my…. is?” Have you lost count of the amount of times you have argued with your partner/children about whose turn it is to load the dishwasher or to wash-up and put the dishes away?

Have you ever thought, “I wonder what it would be like to close shop for a day, to sit back and just relax? To have someone else cook, clean and shop for you – just for a few days while you spend some time alone, maybe with your girlfriends to rest, get your strength and energy back?”As a busy working mom, it is hard for you to find time to care for yourself. Family commitments and social obligations tend to be your first priority. Making time for you – to have a spot of “Me-Time” seems like a luxury.

Well, believe it or not, given the multitude of things you do, it is essential you find time during your day to care for and nurture yourself. If you keep on reacting to everyone else’s schedule and neglecting yourself, chances are by the end of the day you are ratty, snappy and grumpy…and definitely not in the mood for a romantic interlude with your partner! All you want to do is eat, shower, and go to bed.

That is no way to live. You are naturally a vibrant, cheerful woman, yet somehow life has got you down. You used to gain a lot of satisfaction from work, now it just feels a chore and another thing to think about. You love your family, but there are times when it all feels too much for you.

If this sounds like you, don’t worry. Stress relief is on its way. Take a few minutes to sit down and read the following five fun tips. They are short and sweet and designed to support you rediscover the joys of rest and relaxation.

Five Fun Tips To Relax And Overcome Stress:

1. Rest your eyes. Your eyes are unique and eye care is often neglected. Gently close your eyes and place cupped palms over your eyes. Stay still and take a few rounds of slow deep breathing. Make sure your jaw is relaxed as you breathe in and out through your nose.

2. Play music. Classical, rock, R & B or good ole country music. Whatever style of music relaxes and turns you on, play it, sing along, and feel good as you reconnect with your inner heart song.

3. Learn to trust your intuition. Stress happens when you do too much and don’t take time to relax, rest, and recharge your batteries. No wonder you get overwhelmed and stressed-out. Learn to say “no.” Stop and trust your intuition more often. This may prevent you from agreeing to do something which, in the long run, is detrimental to your health and well-being.

4. Relax your body. Lie down in a quiet and, if possible, darkened room. Slowly tense and relax first your legs, then your arms, and your buttocks. Then, stretch your shoulders up to your ears, close your eyes, scrunch up and relax your face. Take a deep breath in and slowly breathe out. Try and lay still for at least 10 minutes before getting up and reengaging with your day.

5. Give yourself a big bear hug. You deserve it. As you hug yourself, smile and be happy for being the special person you are. Spend a few minutes sitting quietly recalling pleasant, happy thoughts.

So, next time you feel frazzled, frumpy and grumpy, take a few minutes to rest and recharge your batteries by practicing any of the five fun quick tips above. You will feel refreshed, calm and revitalized; better able to give your best to friends, family, and job. I would love to know how you feel after you do any of these exercises. Please drop me a line and let me know.

Article Source:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ntathu_Allen

Where to go from here:

• How To Deal With Stress
• Relaxation Hypnosis
• How To Rid Yourself Of Stress And Anxiety
• A Guided Meditation
• Quiet Mind
  

Ideas for coping with stress:

1. Understand more about stress – this involves recognising your sources of stress and how stress affects you personally.  Plan for stressful periods.

2. Problem-solve – what is the problem, be specific and break it down into realistic achievable components.  Then set goals on how to deal with each problem.  Make sure you include how to begin your plan of action.

3. Develop new behavior – if you take on too much or have problems saying no, learn to be assertive.  There are plenty of courses at local colleges or you may prefer to see a therapist 1:1.  Learn to manage your time more effectively and delegate wherever possible!  Avoid procrastination; whilst you are not doing it, you’ll only be spending energy worrying about it.

4. Make sure you develop a support network – deliberately develop good supportive relationships.  Ask for help when needed and accept it when offered.  You must also be prepared to do the same for others.

5. Make time to relax and enjoy yourself – how many of us know we should do more of this but don’t make the time?  Set aside time each day to relax and build this into your routine.  Develop hobbies and leisure activities that help you too switch off.

Can you imagine yourself doing any of these activities when you need to cope?

Asserting yourself – Contacting one of your supports – Listening to music

Exercising- Taking a break – Going to a movie -Reading a book -Laughing/crying – Taking a walk – Taking a nice long bath – Writing a letter or a journal – Learning something new – Eating something healthy – Helping someone else.

It is important to identify and practice using coping tools if you want to be able to deal with your stress successfully.  Obviously, it is not always possible to plan for stress as situations can happen that we do not expect.  If you find yourself experiencing a period of crises, or intense painful emotions there are still coping strategies that you can employ in that moment.

Ideas for coping with acute emotional distress:

1. Use of distraction – the aim of this is to limit the time you spend in contact with the emotional stimuli, the things that are causing you to feel emotional.  The stimuli could be anything from another person to the thoughts that you are having.  Distraction involves doing something else to absorb your attention.

2. Imagery – think of safe and soothing images.  This involves imagining images that make you feel good, it may be a favourite place, person, pet or scenes from nature.

3. Relaxation – learn a simple technique like using peripheral vision to induce relaxation. Peripheral vision is effective at switching on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system responsible for making us feel calm.  It’s not possible to feel anxious or distressed whilst fully relaxed in peripheral vision.

4. One thing in the moment – as adults we tend to spend much of our time stuck contemplating what went wrong in the past or what may go wrong in the future.  Try and just focus on the ‘moment’.  Perhaps this may involve thinking something like ‘I’m in my house in my favourite chair, I’m warm and comfortable and I have a good book to read’.

5. Exercise – physical activity can help to disperse the chemicals released in your body by the stress response.  It also releases feel good chemicals known as endorphins.

6. Soothe yourself – do something to nurture your 5 senses.  Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Karen Hastings is an occupational therapist, master NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist.  Karen uses hypnotic techniques alongside NLP to help people stop smoking.  Karen is based in Edinburgh and also offers home-visits in Edinburgh and Bucks.  Visit http://www.karenhastings.co.uk for more information.

Where to go from here:

• Hypnosis for Anxiety Disorders
• Overcome Anxiety and Stress Naturally
• How to Rid Yourself of Stress and Anxiety
• Stressed and Anxious? 7 Tips for Busy Moms
• A Beginner’s Guide to Meditation
  

That’s where we get stuck. Sure, we all would like to be less stressed, but where do we start? How do we reduce the number of stressors in our lives? After all, it usually feels like everything on our plate is non-negotiable.

But that’s the thing: we cannot do everything. Never have. Never will. It’s not possible.

So here are four ways to reduce the number — and size — of the items on your plate:

1) Ask yourself: What would happen if you were gone?

I mean it. Start right there. We don’t like to think about it, but it’s a terrific exercise to ask that question, especially you’re trying to cope with too much stress. Reduce and eliminate are the magic words. What would happen if life had to go on without you. It would, wouldn’t it? Whether it’s your family or your boss, they’d find a way to cope — or let things go undone. And the world wouldn’t end.

Sure, they will miss you. So tell them you need help. Carve out a compromise. Find out which of the things on your plate you can let go of. Which ones wouldn’t make a difference to anyone? Drop them. You may be surprised to find that some of the things you’ve been stressing about don’t really matter so much to others.

And what about the rest? What can you delegate? What can you do less of? Your plate should get less crowded in a hurry. And your stress levels should go down.

2) Stop perfectionism

Perfectionism is the enemy of sanity and a surefire way to generate endless amounts of stress. Sure, a lot of us take great pride in doing everything perfectly, but is it really necessary? Think of the 80/20 rule and do the 20% that matter most really well. The rest? Oh well… Drop it if you can, and if you can’t, aim for “good enough” rather than “perfectly.” Overcoming perfectionism can take you on the fast track to sanity.

3) What’s really important to you?

Spend a week noting everything you do and either each night or at the end of the week sit down and figure out which of these things meet at least one of the following two conditions: a) You enjoy them, or b) they are really necessary for your well-being or for the well-being of those you care about. If they don’t score very high on either of those counts, you know what to do.

4) Use the magic phrase

Many of us find it difficult to say “no.” Yet we cannot possibly do everything we’re asked to do. Here’s the magic phrase that will get you out of a lot of things without being nearly as difficult to say as “no.” It’s also easier on the one who’s asking: Just say, “Not now.” That’s it!

So you may not be able (or even want) to completely eliminate stress , but reduce it by half and you’ll feel a whole lot better.

If you enjoyed this article, you may also like Elisabeth Kuhn’s FREE stress tips report . And here’s a related article on stress management exercises.

Article Source:  www.ladypens.com

Where to go from here:

• Stressed and Anxious? 7 Tips for Busy Moms
• The Relaxation Response
• Anxiety-Free Kids
• The Anxiety Workbook for Teens
  
• Instant Stress Relief

I’m sure you’ve heard about the 80/20 principle, also known as the Pareto principle. It means that 20% of the things we do bring us 80% of the benefits. It works in sales, and it works just about anywhere else.

How can that help you with your to do list? Here’s how:

Just because an item is on your list doesn’t mean you have to actually do it. Refuse to submit to time management stress. There’s a better way.

Just think about it. If there are more things on that list than you can possibly do, you simply cannot do them. It’s physically impossible.

So what to do? Relax! That’s right. It may seem counterproductive, but it’s actually going to help you get MORE done.

The reason for that is that stress slows your brain down and saps your energy. So you’ll work more slowly and get less done. Once that stress is taken care of, you’ll feel invigorated and able to tackle your tasks.

So eliminating the stress over the impossible to do list is our number one priority.

Here’s what you need to do instead of getting stressed: Go over that list and figure out which of these tasks simply must get done, and get done right away, on that day.

Write those down on a separate list. Consider how long it will take you to do them all and whether you can actually do them in the allotted time. If the answer is no, you need to cut something out.

However, if you believe you can do those and only those that you have written down, that’s going to be your new to do list for the day.

If there’s room to spare, look back over the original list and see if there is another really important task that you can fit in without driving yourself ragged.

If so, add that to your list.

And what about the rest? There’s always another day. Maybe they’re not yours to do in the first place, or maybe whoever wants you to do them will simply have to wait.

So if you refuse to be held hostage by time management stress, and instead follow the 80/20 principle, you will likely get done what really needs to get done. And you’ll be able to do a better job than if you had had a nervous breakdown.

Whether you use the 80/20 principle or some other stress management techniques, you’ve got to do something to help you stay calm under pressure. For more stress tips, you’re invited to download Elisabeth Kuhn’s FREE stress tips report.

And here’s a related article on reducing time management stress.

Article Source: www.ladypens.com

Where to go from here:

• Treatment for General Anxiety
• Self-Hypnosis and Focused Breathing
• Overcome Anxiety and Stress Naturally
• Time-Management Tips for Busy Moms
  



Those who gained a few pounds this past year may dread the warm, summer months ahead. The shorts, the sleeveless shirts, the bathing suits. Does it get any worse than that? Oh, yes…the bikinis. Yipes! The horror! The horror!

You’ve comforted yourself with carbs and dark chocolate on those long, cold nights, but now it’s time to pay the piper. But wait…I’ve got great news for you. You don’t have to go on a crash diet. In fact, if you do, you will regret it because the pounds will come right back. You already know which foods are good for you and which ones will pack the weight on. So, you’ll not get a lecture from me.

I want to offer you an easy solution. One that not only works, but will continue to work without effort, deprivation, or hardship.

Sound too good to be true?

It is true and I, personally, can attest to the wonders of hypnosis. As a certified, clinical hypnotherapist, I help hundreds of people lose weight, stop smoking, and overcome panic attacks, anxiety, phobias, fears, and addictions.

This particular weight loss hypnosis program works magnificently. You can lose all the weight you want, and it will remain “lost” permanently. With hypnosis, you lose your cravings for fatty and sugary food, while you learn to enjoy smaller portions of healthy foods.With this program, you are in complete control of your eating habits. You will no longer fight a losing battle with your willpower. YOU are in the driver’s seat. If you’re truly ready to change your life, then all you have to do is listen to the relaxing CDs in this program, and you WILL lose weight.

Since this program is 100% guaranteed, the only thing you have to lose is weight.

Remember, summer is just around the corner.

Click here for more information on Lose Weight Easy Hypnosis.

Where to go from here:

• Enjoying Weight Loss
  
• Mind Over Platter
• Intuitive Eating
• Skinny Thinking
• Letting Go of Compulsive Eating