So, how do you become part of the Silicon Valley in-crowd?
First, there really is no such clique and if there is, it is incredibly transient.
Second, Silicon Valley is not an oligarchy, but rather a meritocracy!
And third, if you are smart, capable, intelligent, driven and socially not totally awkward, you can be part of the SV “in-crowd”.

Now, if you think you can email John Doerr, Paul Graham or Larry and get a meeting, think again. That is the equivalent of going to DC and trying to meet with Barack – it ain’t going to happen!
This post is meant for introductions to important people, but not the “Dignitaries of SV” .

Let’s get to it, how are you going to get quality introductions in silicon valley and become part of the in-crowd? Let’s assume you are planning to visit SV to meet with people for ideas/partnerships/funding/etc.

1. FIND 10 people you want to meet

• why do you want to meet this person?
• if you meet that person, what do I want to convey/get/accomplish?
• why does this person want to meet with you?

Most people do not put enough work in this list. e.g. if you think you want to meet @ev or @biz from twitter b/c you have a location based twitter/[random api] mashup, you did not do your homework. Twitter recently bought GeoAPI, so guess what, those guys are a much better fit for you. I can not stress this enough: DO YOUR HOMEWORK FIRST!

2. FOLLOW them on twitter, FF, Plancast, Buzz or anywhere else you can (avoid facebook & linkedin for now, most people do not accept random followers there and it looks a bit desperate IMHO).

3. ENGAGE them on their favorite platform. RT their post, comment on buzz conversations, @reply on twitter, comment on blog posts. You know, the general “nice-stuff” one can do online.  Paul Graham once told me that he checks the comments on HackerNews for people that apply to YCombinator.

4. ADRESS  them directly. This is a subtle addition to “3. Engage”. Now you actually are starting to have some kind of conversation.  e.g. I recently had someone email me that a few images on my site are broken – that was nice – we started to talk. Nothing big just a “snippet-conversation” that can be build on later. Even better if you have something meaningful to say, even if you disagree with them.

4b. (extra credit) DO something for them. e.g. if you want to get Dave McClure’s attention, do something for startupvisa (his current pet project).

5. CONTACT them for a specific purpose.  By now, they are most likely familiar with you. Write a good introduction email mentioning the reason for your email.

• tell them WHY you want to meet with them. I get tons of “request for meeting” w/o knowing why = auto-decline message
• everybody is busy! give them at least a few weeks advanced notice
• once they agree to meet you: offer a few dates/time/locations. e.g. I am in SF on … and in Mountain View on ….
• check their public calendars (e.g. plancast.com) to see where they are (“I noticed on plancast that you are in … on …)

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A few more random thoughts:

• DON’T be late. SF to Mountain View is NOT a 45 minute ride, it can be well over an hour.
• leave lots of open space in your calendar. most people will introduce you to others if they like you/your product or idea
• ask anyone if they can think of anyone you should meet too
• confirm every meeting a day prior
• assume that 1/3 of your meetings are canceled at the last minute and 1/3 is off schedule
• try to meet important people early in the morning (a lot less likely to get canceled)
• try not to have lunch meeting – if you do, don’t eat (even if you are starving) who can eat, talk and listen at the same time?
• go to a few tech meetups while you are here
• check the startup digest for mixers
• consider contacting the venturehacks powerbrokers (they love to intro good people)

If you plan your trip well, you will fell like you are part of the in-crowd, I promise. If not, you did not do your homework and find the right people to meet. So start with your “dreamlist” of people to meet.

Last thought; you are not asking for favors: Everyone is always looking for great people!

• Soon-to-be founders look for co-founders
• Founders look for key hires (and co-founders)
• Journalists look for good stories
• Angel investors look for the next big thing and advisory boards
• VCs look for fast growth companies and companies to merge/acquire/partner
• Anyone is looking for good tech-geek conversation

If you want to meet with me, start by (3) follow me (4)engage me, or (heck, I am not that important) just  send me a message @thomask or email (thomask AT Gmail).

Good luck!

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Alright, so here is the “cold-email” (as in cold-call) format that I find most useful when being approached. I use this format myself if I can’t get an introduction. The example in italics is an imaginary email.

If you like this post, subscribe to my email list or rss feed via feedburner. I publish about 2 posts like this per month.