The Modern Romantic - Japhy Grant Screenwriting News Culture Film Hollywood

The Engagement Will Be Televised, Er- Streamed

2008-07-21T18:20:00.000-07:00

My little brother Mike and his long-time girlfriend, Jen got engaged over the weekend. Obsession with the Internets runs deep in our family, so it's not a huge surprise that their engagement already has a website and YouTube video (above) detailing the incredibly elaborate way my brother proposed, which involved, among other things, Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of John McKinley.

I'm the boring one in the family.

But seriously, how awesomely cool is that? Not just Mike's treasure hunt, but the fact that Jen was able to solve it and that Mike knew Jen well enough to know she would get it? That's real love, folks. Congrats to them both and I look forward to more mojo from them soon.

David Lynch Does Not Like Your iPhone

2008-07-17T19:20:00.000-07:00

David Lynch, rejecting the revolution. I think he's right, by the way. Why waste your time watching something designed to be seen on the big screen on a tiny phone? What he misses is that you don't blame the medium. Just as filmmakers decried TV before shows like Soprano's and Six Feet Under and Lost found what's artful about the medium, so it goes with mobile media. Porting Mullholland Drive to your iPhone is a waste, but there's a great artful phone film out there-- it just hasn't been made.

New mediums are everywhere these days. They call for new ways of conceiving and telling stories. Get real.

See you in the Fall!

2008-07-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

Let's face it. School's out for summer. I'm off writing scripts, working on shoots and the next month I'll be travelling to the East Coast for conferences and family time and drinks on rooftops in Brooklyn. There's great stuff at Flaming Politics and you can read my weekly contributions to Popnography, or follow me on Twitter or browse the photo feed up above and then there's my constantly updated reading list in the sidebar so, you know- it's not like I'm going away, really. But for the time being I'm taking a blogging break. I like blogging, but I'm worried I'm producing all noise and no signal.

Now that I've written this, I'm sure I'll break my promise right away, but til September tMR is on a vacation schedule. Go fishing. Take a hike. I'll be here when you get back.

It's the Size of the (Big Penis) Book That Matters

2008-06-27T13:02:00.001-07:00

Taschen's The Big Penis Book had its release party in Los Angeles last night. Over at Popnography, I size it up in a brief (get it?) article.

...And They're Always Glad You Came

2008-06-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

Logo's released it 50 Best Gay Bars in America list and if you check out the list, you can read my write-up on three of them: L.A.'s The Abbey, New York's Pieces and El Paso's O.P. Daniel Nardicio mentions Denver's Tracks and says "It's better than anything New York's had in years." He's absolutely right.

And Japhy said "Let There Be Dancing Carnivores!"

2008-06-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

I suck at video games. The only shoot em' up I was ever any good at was Mega Man 3 and maybe, Time Bandits at the video arcade. But, I love Will Wright and Maxis games. The appeal of games like Civilization and The Sims is that they engage your imagination in the same way reading a book does. In Civ, I would imagine my Babylonians, who had lived in isolation on an island continent for a thousand years, responding to the arrival of the first English explorer by saying "Well, they're going to have to go" and then waging a war of extinction to serve as an example to the rest of the world. In The Sims, I would create characters inspired by my friends that would all hit on our neighbors, The Goths.

Now, Maxis and Will Wright are releasing the ultimate "god game", called Spore. Coming in September, the game is actually five-in-one. You start with single cell organisms and wind-up as a spacefaring terraforming super society. In anticipation, Maxis has released a free demo of the Spore character creator. It's a fascinating system that allows you to create a huge diversity of creatures, but simply and intuitively. The character creator is just the beginning and the creatures you create will wind up in the final game, as Maxis plans on seeding planets with user-created animals. In the meantime, the software allows you to upload your animal and even directly create a YouTube video of the lil' critters.

Check out my first attempt at creating life in the video above. I've named it the Japhex. It's highly predatory, but also charming. Also, it has a thing for hip-hop.

Learn more about Spore and download the free character creator here.

Get to Know Your Bullet Train

2008-06-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

Californians will get the opportunity to vote on a high-speed rail bond in November. Before you all start shouting "Monorail!", take a look at this short video that the CA High Speed Rail Authority has put together. As any driver knows, the state's current transportation infrastructure is stretched to capacity and while we could build more roads and more airports, the result will be more pollution and more congestion. California's uniquely positioned to take advantage of high-speed rail. And imagine a world where you hop the Metro down to Union Station, grab the train and two and a half hours later, you're in San Francisco. I can't wait to board the Friday 6'oclock party car.

Do You Like Comedy?

2008-06-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

I used to get asked that all the time when I lived in New York. People would come up on the street and ask you "Do you like comedy?" and then rope you into "free tickets" to see a show with a $15 drink minimum. "No", I would answer, "Do you have any tragedy or a good epic ballad?" and then they would say , "Dick", but I would have moved on.

I've always wondered if my dislike of comedians stems from my long-held fear of clowns. There's just something creepy about people who's goal is to make you laugh. "Look at me, aren't I funny?" they say. To which I reply, "No, please stop making me watch your public displays of insecurity." Actually, it's not public displays of insecurity that bother me. I mean, that would make me a hypocrite. It's the idea that you sell your insecurity and neuroses as something to laugh at. "You're gonna love this one!", you tell me, but I'm just mad because you've deprived me of the chance to laugh at you, by obligating me to laugh with you.

But since this is "Let There Be Love" week here at tMR, let me say that all the stuff I just said doesn't apply to Jon LaJoie, who's a genius. He's caught the eyes of Will Ferrell and Howard Stern, but don't hold that against this everyday normal guy from Montreal.

This Week's Goal: Let There Be Love

2008-06-16T00:10:00.000-07:00

You might have been noticing in the Twitter updates, each week I've been setting for myself a big picture goal. So far, I've been getting a lot out of it. Last week's, "one step after the other" was a big success and thinking about these macro-sized things and making them into weekly mantra's can be helpful when you get stressed.

This week's mantra is born out of two things; the first, being the death of Tim Russert, who was one of my heroes. I talk about Russert's influence on me as a journalist over at Flaming Politics, but he's a hero to me because of the way he conducted his life. He was aggressive, tough and successful, but remained true to his roots, cared deeply about passing on his knowledge as much as he was excited about absorbing others and brought passion to all the arenas of his life. I believe, and try to live out, that success should never change who you are, because who you are is what makes you successful. Tim clearly embodied that axiom. Here's a guy who worked relentlessly, put his family first and still showed a generosity of spirit to everyone he met, no matter who they were or where they came from.

The second reason I'm keeping "Let There Be Love" in my head this week is that I'm making real headway on the screenplay and it's reminding me why I love writing stories: They surprise you. I keep referring to the movies as "Close Encounters", because I want to do a big, fantastical commercial film that's grounded in an everyday reality. But the surprise over the weekend is that I'm realizing that what I'm writing is an anti-apocalyptic movie. The usual summer blockbuster is about the world put in peril by a killer storm/alien/large rock of kryptonite and someone comes along and beats up someone else and somehow the world is saved. I think I'm writing a film that inverts that formula a bit. The end of the world always seems just around the corner, be it by the hand of war or science or religion and sometimes it does come, whether its in Darfur, on the beaches of Normandy or on the 82nd Floor of Tower One, but we keep living. In the face of apocalypse, humanity doesn't run screaming into the night; we endure. We don't have the luxury of Superman, so we survive through love.

Now, I just need to, you know- make it sell to the 14-28 year old males. Good thing I put in explosions and hot chicks.

Plot-o-Rama

2008-06-13T20:50:00.000-07:00

"CARRIE: I knew he didn't want to find the skull with me. I pushed him and pushed him. I knew he'd already found the skull with two other women. I'm so stupid. And now I'm all alone in this waterfall in the sky inhabited by Aztecs." Excerpts from Sex and the City and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
"And remember the time Clint (Clint Ritchie) was knocked unconscious and time-traveled to the Wild West? Carlivati will riff on that plot, too. "Bo (Robert S. Woods) and Rex (John-Paul Lavoisier) are hit by lightning and wake up in 1968 — the same year OLTL hit the air," Carlivati says." My old bread-and-butter, One Life to Live is revisiting some of its most famous plots to celebrate the show's 40th anniversary.

Designer Vomit for Sale on Craigslist for $25k

2008-06-10T17:55:00.000-07:00

Picture it: Christmas of 1962. Designer George Nelson is chugging Brandy Alexander's at a party in beautiful Zeeland, Michigan. Isamu Noguchi is there and Nelson keeps pestering him, saying loudly "You gotta have some 'nog, Nog." Noguchi tries to ignore him, but Nelson's on a tear. He steps over towards the crendenza and announces "Here! I'll even make one for ya, Noggy!", but never gets the last word out. Why not? Because he blows chunks instead, all over the beautiful credenza. Then he slips, cracks his head on the corner and passes out on top of it.

The party looks on, aghast.

Noguchi walks over to Nelson, pulls out his camera and takes a photo of his besotted friend. "There's your fucking eggong, Nelson. Merry Christmas!"

40 years later: The credenza is for sale! Somebody shellacked George Nelson's vomit and blood, so that it could be savored for future generations of mid-century modernist/alcoholic admirers. And while you'd think the bodily fluids of one of the seminal forces of American Modernism isn't something you could put a price tag on, turns out you can. You can get your very own bit-o-George Nelson for $25,000-- on Craigslist, naturally: Credenza included.

FlamingPolitics.com Now in Beta

2008-06-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

As frequent visitors to this site know, I've been slowly plugging away at a long-term plan for web domination. A small step in the plan's been taken with the soft-release of FlamingPolitics.com. Take a look.

One of the things I love about this site is that it's a free-for-all. Whatever interests me, I write about it. However, this is a terrible way to build a successful website, so I'm in the process of splitting my interests across a few different sites. I'm still not sure what to do with The Modern Romantic. Should I turn it into a new media, writing, creativity blog (as I've been doing the last couple weeks) or should I keep it a personal blog about myself? Would it be better to move all the portfolio stuff over to my own personal website or have I branded the site as "Japhy Grant's website about Japhy Grant" so much that you're all saying "What's the point?" Let me know your thoughts.

Fritz Haeg, Dwell on Design Hits L.A.

2008-06-05T16:56:00.000-07:00

I have a piece on L.A. artist Fritz Haeg up on Out.com. Tomorrow, I'll be downtown at the Dwell on Design conference, where Haeg is a featured speaker. Expect Twitter updates.

Uh-Oh. Video of Michelle Obama Ranting About "Whitey" Leaked

2008-06-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

We've heard the rumors, and it seems that someone in the RNC (or maybe a disaffected Hillary supporter?) has released what everyone up 'til now thought was a fairy tale: A video of Michelle Obama at a Louis Farrakhan audience talking about a dude named "Whitey" and saying some rather uncharitable things about him. I guess Larry Johnson was right after all. Bob Beckel called it! G.O.P. strategist Roger Stone was on the money when he said "What other reason would [Hillary] have for staying in the race than this video?"

Once you see the video (link below-- it's too gut-wrenching to embed on this page) I think you'll see what a big mistake America has made in nominating Barack Obama. No matter how affirming of the ideals of America, how much the world embraces his vision of America, no matter how adept at foreign policy, no matter how many stadia he fills with people seeking genuine transformative change in this country, nothing makes up for this. I thought this was just a lie being perpetuated by rabid partisan Clintonista's (like HillBuzz) desperate to give their failed candidate another nanosecond of spotlight. I was convinced that their gambit was nothing more than a pathetic attempt at Rovian innuendo, a sad embarrassing graceless note to the funeral dirge that is the Clinton hold on the Democratic Party.

But I was wrong. I apologize. Clinton people, you were right all along.

Here's the video. I have to thank The Economist for pointing this out first.

The Muppets Take "Manhattan"

2008-06-04T08:38:00.000-07:00

Because it's Wednesday and you need to laugh. Thanks to Charlie for this. Just so you know, I think Animal totally steals the scene.

Brain Bombs: New Ideas to Think About

2008-06-03T14:32:00.000-07:00

My goal this week is to "take chances" as those of you following my Twitter account already know. Here are some great ideas worth looking at and thinking about to get you thinking about what kind of chances you might take this week.

My favorite chef, Mark Bittman talks about "What's Wrong with What We Eat" via TEDTalks. Thanks to Corey for pointing this out. If you like this, I recommend checking out Bittman's Minimalist column in the NYTimes. Us foodies read a lot of recipes, but these are ones I find myself actually cooking. He also has his own blog, Bitten.
Cut down on the Ron Popiel automated iced chai latte makers and specialized glass cleaners (one for tinted, one for clear!) by embracing Urawaza, the Japanese habit of utilitarian thriftiness. Clean socks with marbles, Thanks to Nick, for this one.
Spanish designer Agustin Otegui is rocking my world right now. From creating a nano skin of mini wind turbines that could clad a building and generate power to a chair made out of two shovels, he's finding elegant solutions to complex problems. I found this one all on my own.
And finally, if you want to really blow your brain, listen to Susan Blackmore talk about one of my favorite topics: memes.

Rivers Cuomo's YouTube Songwriting School

2008-06-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

Are any of you keeping up with the YouTube experiment Rivers Cuomo of Weezer is doing? Back in March or so, Rivers called on YouTube viewers to come up with a song title (originally "80s Radio") and then led them through the process, inviting would be rockstars to offer up chord structures, lyrics, bridges and adjustments. The result isn't so much music by committee as it is, "Rivers picks what he likes and you all go with it", which means the result, now called "We're Turning Up the Radio" doesn't totally suck. In fact, it's sort of rad.

But what's more rad is the sort of master class/ throw the baby bird from the nest aesthetic the experiment's taken on. Hundreds of people each week audition their ideas before Prof. Cuomo through YouTube videos, which people then comment on themselves. It's sort of Darwinian, with each new generation of the song spawning mutants. But it's all collaborative in the best sense of the word; that the song sounds sort of like a Weezer song isn't much of a surprise, but it has no one author who can claim credit. Cuomo actually makes a great, if eccentric teacher. He's unafraid to say when something doesn't work and quick to praise when it does. This is the kind of stuff that makes the Internet such a cool place to live in.

Shortly, Rivers promises to "offer the song up to the lions", whatever that means. Stay tuned.

Bill O'Reilly Jumps the Shark on Gay Marriage

2008-05-30T09:50:00.000-07:00

Asked for a reason he actually opposes gay marriage, anti-gay marriage lawyer Dan Schweitzer flounders before Bill O'Reilly, comparing gay and straight relationships as being as different as winter and summer. Bill-O, after trying to give the guy as many opportunities to come up with a reason as possible concedes that all the justifications are lame and bigoted. I know this has been up for a bit, but if you haven't seen it, you should.

"Everyone Nose" There'd be a Remix with Kanye

2008-05-29T10:23:00.001-07:00

Now, I love me some Kanye. He's the guy who made it okay for suburbanites with overachiever complexes to own hip-hop, after all. But dude, it seems like you can't buy an album these days without finding Kanye guesting a track. Being the self-proclaimed king of hip-hop, isn't enough, he's got to absorb the careers of Madonna, Janet, Daft Punk and now N.E.R.D. That little teddy bear is actually the Borg, I tell you. Anyway, here's the remix, which also features Lupe Fiasco, and Pusha T. It's awesome. N.E.R.D.'s new album, Seeing Sounds is out June 10.

Everyone Nose (Remix feat. Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, and Pusha T) - N.E.R.D.

Weezer Gives Chris Crocker an Extra 15 Seconds of Fame

2008-05-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

Which should be enough for me to dismiss them forever, but c'mon! It's Weezer. It's the You Tube-eriffic "Pork & Beans", the first single from the Red album, out June 3rd. I hope Rivers deloused after giving Crocker a hug. That kid doesn't need a hug. He needs a nice long stay in a sanitarium. Think I'm being mean? Here's what the kid's been up to lately.

New Flaming Politics

2008-05-28T14:01:00.000-07:00

Check out the latest installment of Flaming Politics at After Elton. This week on Flaming Politics, I put Hillary-talk to rest (at least in my own mind) as I conduct a post-mortem on what worked and what didn't work in her campaign, no character assassination needed. Also, gay victims of the Nazi Holocaust are honored, a Birmingham, AL Mayor puts the kebosh on a pride parade and what you can do to start getting involved in the fight for equal marriage.

763 Reviews of SXSW 2008

2008-05-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

Your editor says, "Hey, here's all the downloadable music from SXSW. Write a review. By the way, that's 48 hours of music. Have fun!" What do you do? Well, if you're Paul Ford, you make each review just six words long. Check out Ford's minimalist music reviews here. They work brilliantly. For Seeing Things' "Eat Skull": "But I'm not hungry for skull" and People Person's "Pissed Jeans": "Claims adjusters secret noise side-project." Ford also keeps his Twitters to only six-words each.

Any writer worth their salt will tell you it's far easier to write more than less. The game is to score the biggest punch in the fewest words. Though, Proust's In Search of Lost Time sort of proves me wrong; reduce it to six words-- A Madeline! Holy shit, I remember" and you lose-- something.

My take on the new Alanis Single

2008-05-22T12:53:00.000-07:00

Check it out at Popnography.

Flaming Politics: Wedding Bells for California

2008-05-21T19:33:00.000-07:00

Japhy eschews the usual cavalcade of sing-alongs, cartoons, and game show parodies to give you a firsthand, heartfelt, on-the-ground account of the historic marriage decision in his adopted home state of California. You know he's serious, because he's wearing a suit; though it's possible he's just trying to nab wedding invites.

Does this decision really matter? Will we ever achieve true equality? Don't expect the answers here, but it's a good place to start the conversation.

Energy, You Make the World Go Round.

2008-05-20T16:30:00.000-07:00

So, I've been racing to finish my screenplay. It's a sci-fi movie and one of the big plot elements has to do with, well-- energy. And I've been sort of tearing at myself at how to handle it in a way that's not "evil corporation". Then I came across this video for the old pre-show opener to The Universe of Energy. You don't really get the full effect here- the screen is made up of rotating tripods, so that it's kinetic. Anyway, the benign corporate futurism of the '80s era Epcot was exactly what I needed.

This, however, is much too much: