have i finished

NOPE

am i bothered by such

NOPE

what i am realizing

i have way more to write than originally thought

where i am

STILL WRITING

where will i be

one. day. finished

i have not fallen from the face of the earth again

just engulfed in writing words

and the thoughts seem to come quicker than i can type

my attention span is short

as my mind in running on overdrive

Ray Bradbury said:

"you fail only if you stop writing"

i think this sums my thoughts up perfectly about not finishing on the deadline i set for myself...see had i not set a deadline...i probably would never have sat down and started to write "this" book i am writing

busily going about our ways

quite often these days

i am losing track of time

on the eve of her night

for what ever reason

i turned towards the dark

as if her energy was calling me near

i stepped out

to be  graced with a fleeting minute or two of silence

before the clouds blanketed her 

a soft dewy glow she was

lingering in the deep black sky

februarys snow moon

should be noted as a rain moon for us 

there has been no sightings of snow

just showers through the night

heavy cloud covers kept me from her 

when she rose to her fullest

thankful.though.for.the.moment.i.had

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Once Said:

"nothing that is can pause or stay...the moon will wax...the moon will wane...the mist and clouds will turn to rain...the rain to mist and clouds again...tomorrow be today."

maybe because i am a true pisces through and through

whatever the reason is to say

i am a hopeless romantic

and believe in some kind of love

~all prints are available in my redbubble shop~

WHO: me

WHAT: writing a book

WHEN: now

WHY: because every persons story should be heard

WHERE: at home

PROMISE TO BE BACK SHORTLY

Maya Angelo Once Said:

"There is no greater agony

than bearing an untold story inside you"

change..a journey ending...a closing....completion...a homeward stretch...a finishing of sorts

...of new beginnings...of chance...of confidence...

its as if the universe is encouraging me...chanting to me...giving me the little extra nudges that need be...it is in accepting and knowing that change will not come if i am not the one creating the change...steering the wheel...driving the force...it is in this where i find myself lost

the cards they speak...they foretell

but it is up to me to LIGHT my way

 {fingers crossed}

Lao Tzu once said:

"If you do not change direction...You may end up where your heading"

earthen strings...the waxing and waning of a winters day...as mother nature set her tone...she gently guides us through the longingly cold and dampening hours...deep cobalt darkening skies are present when we rise in the morn and set in the night...it is within this gift of hers...time...to pull inward and find our own light...the faint colors of the grasses pale green...is her reminder to each...though we may not be thriving...we are continuing to grow...the cycle never seizes...the wheel has yet to change...it is in these days that i crochet...it is the silence...the slowness...the warmth from layers...the cups of endless tea...the flickering flames of firelight...the candles that glow among a dim lit room...it is in the comfort of knowing that all will change...it is in knowing that a season will never last forever...it is having an appreciation for such...that puts me at ease... i fully surrender to the days of winter as i continue to weave my earthen strings

she hid silently behind a clouded night sky

 when she finally appeared 

her unto herself

an old moon in a bright new year

she was masked by the trees

with just a hint of golden light 

faint as her casting

it was enough to catch my eye

and silence me so

all in a matter of hours 

then the rain would reside 

i woke my love

and shared how i wanted to see our river in white

i wanted to see the snow

i wanted to touch the snow

i wanted to smell the snow

i wanted to hear the snow

i.just.wanted.to be.in.the.snow

trying as hard as i might

attempting to entice my love and our littles

of a little snow white

i shared how this would be the opportune time

to take our truck for a little test run

it made it to the sun shining mountains with a few minor glitches

but since its rebuild it hasn't set foot on white

after hours of hymn ha~ing through the day

my love sat up and said lets go

i sprang from my seat and scurried away

an hour and a half up and same coming down

my love said it will be a short run

the clock spoke of one thirty one

and the rain was to set with high flailing winds between five and six

nearly minutes after the clock struck two

we were on the road

chasing the snow

as we headed out of town

it was a dark and dreary mess

but once we hit the road of the mountainside

my heart skipped a beat

as it became a wintery wonderland

well sometimes good feelings die hard and quick

just about half way up

it became apparent that our little road trip

was coming to a screeching white halt

there was no place to go 

except off the next exit

if ever we wanted to make it home before morn

inevitably we made the turn 

my love paused for a moment

and decided to sneak onto a road less traveled

this man he knows me well

he knows my mind

he knows my heart

he knew there was a camera at hand

so we were granted with a quick little stroll 

and a bit of a nature call

on a side note if you please...when looking at our truck ...you will notice a lovely blueish purple tint

though great for blocking the sun...it makes for a bit of a struggle to photograph when you are inside

hence why you will see a hint of blue at times

with darkness slowly on the rise

and the winds and rain kicking in

 it was our time

to hit the main road

and make our way home

it might not of been what i was i hoping for

there were no rivers of white raging so

just mile upon mile of blanketed trees

but seeing the land all covered in white

was plenty for me

Orison Swett Narden once said:

"Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities...seize common occasions and make them great."

i have had quite a few conversations

which lead back to

"do...ing"

stop thinking...just do

i have been told this many of times before

i over think...over analyze...and then execute non

i get lost in my mind more often then not

last year i enjoyed the idea of not picking a word

but allowing my word to come to me in a different manner

and so i drifted towards the oracle cards once more

to chose my one little word for 2015

so many enticing energizing meanings wrapped within this word

LIGHT

may it be my beacon...my guide...my blaze for 2015

tis how i welcome a new calendar year

cards laid before me

waiting to expose what may be on the rise

the chances and changes to be coming my way

my intention is always that of 12

but the openness is there for others to present themselves

3 more cards came to be

these i am holding as my life cards to reflect upon for the year

a starting middle and ending

2015

is full of

  growth of change of exploration of prosperity of happiness

of roots of motherhood and of finding my way

it is a first in many years that the days are to unfold in abundantly blessed ways

the last few years have spoken of hardship trials tribulations and proved very much so

to the unknown and where it will lead

Julien Smith said:

"Going to the unknown is how you expand what is known"

​

another year is coming to a close

since i woke this morning...the minutes have been rapidly diminishing coinciding with the same fleeting emotions i carried throughout 2014

it has felt like one of the longest yet quickest of years thus far

today...i paused...many times actually...reflecting upon the days that were and curiously wondering what the days of new will become

i have thought a great deal about my little word 

{i had to go back to last January as i could not quite remember how i stumbled upon my word for the year} and as i read...my post...my word unexpectedly chosen

AWAKEN

took on a whole new meaning than what i originally thought or per say planned it to mean

i was anxious on many accounts to get back to how we once were...to continue with a certain momentum that i had always attained...i wanted to dive head first...submerging and pushing myself in and with new endeavors...

i had grand plans

non.of.which.came.to.be

AWAKEN

came to me in a realization that things will never be as they were...life changes...people change...through the hard ships of  living...the rigorous rowing and treading through stormy waters...through the sweet sailing days...growth is occurring...we are constantly evolving even if we can not see it on the forefront

AWAKEN

came to me is recognizing that what once was and what is now...was and is apart of  my story...there has yet to be discovered a way to turn back the clocks of time...so instead of recreating and striving for the past...i could and can only move forward creating my now

AWAKEN

came to me when looking back...in simple subtle ways...nurturing ways...calming ways

AWAKEN

was not just about me but those that are in my life...the need to be present...nothing more...nothing less...just wholeheartedly present in their day to day

AWAKEN

was about realizing the need for myself to be...to simmering in my thoughts...to withdraw into my own silence...for acknowledging the truth behind what had all been

AWAKEN

it may not have been a boisterous year

but it was a year

a year in which

AWAKEN

slowly crept in and became a touchstone in my spirit and soul 

Buddha once said:

"there is only one time when it is essential to awaken...the time is now"

may 2015

be a blessed one

for each of you

somewhere in between here and there

it feels as if

we have done everything and nothing all the same

mainly...purely...simply

we have just been living life each day

Someone Once Said:

"family...like branches on a tree...we all grow in different directions...yet our roots remain as one"

a tiny fragment

connecting us to a past memory

a present thought

a symbolic piece of life

awakening our spirits

from the dormant ways of once was

warmth has slowly returned

light continually brinking upon the horizon earlier and earlier by each morning hour

dusk easing into night lingering as they mingle momentarily in the golden moonlit hour

rain falls

saturating the earth

grounding the roots of life that are waiting to emerge

we step a little lighter

smile a little longer

as we are present with the ever changing ways of springs season at hand

me: i think i stumbled upon one of my most favorite pictures i have taken

{to me...it is stunning...but its purely my own thought and opinion and i guess you could say i can be kind of partial to pictures i have taken}

my love: you should take more pictures of people

me: i do...of our family and you

my love: no of other people

me: why...i don't want to take random pictures of people

my love: why not

me: because i do not want to

my love: well couldn't you just do it sometimes

{as he and i were talking i was pulling up the picture to show him}

me: nope...look

{he looks at the picture above}

my love: wow...you need to keep taking pictures of trees

{insert laughing} 

me: phew...glad we got that one figured out

I say:

"Living life is not about how someone else wants you to live...It's about living your life how you want to live."

i remember the morning i was turning 35

my dad called and wished me well then ask how old are you going to be again

i said 35...he said god your getting old

i replied i know...i officially hit the half way point to 40

and as quick as can be he replied more like the half way point to 70

i replied thanks dad...way to really put my life in perspective

35 held a tumultuous amount of life changing moments

all packed into the mere 365 day that were

i think for the next 35 years now life will just be calm

wishful thinking right?!?

i moved slowly within my final days of 35

i  pondered things i wanted to do to mark the final day

but decided otherwise

35 had i think enough momentous moments for me

so i settled for the nothing

36

is here

it was celebrated

QUIETLY CALMLY PEACEFULLY JOYFULLY

these past few weeks i have been

studying the art of doing nothing

and i think i can officially graduate with a masters degree

it felt nice

lately i have been thinking about

my life

where i want to be

what i want to do

and am looking forward to seeing where the days will lead

36

* finish writing one of my books

* print one my books

* sell one of my books

* continuing exploring new ways  of selling my photography

* become apart of a farmers market

* have a booth is some sort of fair~bizarre~flea market frenzy

* read my camera book

{i have had my  dream camera for almost two years now...its a lofty challenge for me...it is huge and filled with sssoooo much information...i can only sit for so long then i want to play with my camera...and alas the book gets put away for great lengths of time}

* buy the perfect shade of red lipstick

{i know this is silly but i am quite plain and simple...me and my rose lip balm go hand in hand...i realized it had been 18 years since i wore red lipstick...it was the first and the last and it was NOT BY CHOICE...i was summed to do such by my loving sister} even if i wear it just once throughout the rest of my life...i would like to attempt to try...though it is not to say i will leave my home...lol!}

* see montana

{i have had a fascination with montana ever since i saw a river runs through it years ago...my grandpa says why don't you just rent the movie again...so yes we are planning a road trip}

* zip line

* glass fusing

* pottery lessons

{in high school i never gave it a fair shot...i tried the wheel two times and decided it was not for me...i think it was because i really did not care at the time...it was a fun easy class i took to pass the time by}

* meet more of you wonderful people face to face

{was one of my greatest memories this year was being able to spend time with barry and fiona...two whom i had met through the land of blogs}

* camping...camping...camping

{as most of you know this is nothing new...just a normal for us...but our truck has been being rebuilt for the past year and well there has not been ONE single adventure since last february...so making it a priority to help my love with whatever i can in order to get our truck complete}

*  cold process soap 

{this scares me...i am not too good with chemicals...i have this fear i will blow something up...but i want to do this and my sister said she would assist and be my mad scientist}

* canning

{ i have done this sparingly...but this year i will be making good use of every waking thriving fruit and vegetable that comes to be}

*  begin teaching one wee little one how to drive

{frightening right...and i know he is not so little...but he's our baby...so little he will always be! i want to be apart of this process and memory}

* help one little become sponsored on his scooter

{sometimes we forget to really pay attention to the desire and strengths of our children...i want to help him achieve this dream...though he is doing amazingly well thus far on his own}

*  learn to play the violin

* double the amount we saved in 2013

* volunteer 

* continue eliminating useless consumed items in our house

* finish our floors 

{only have the living room and kitchen left}

* plant fruit trees

{thinking pears}

* pursue wine making with my love

* make kombucha

{failed at our first attempt}

* pondering joining the belly dancing competing & traveling group

{was asked last spring to join the competing group but had to decline do to our circumstances that arose}

* continue exploring life alone 

* master driving a stick shift 

(this is a work in progress that is filled with much laughter}

*  learn how to do stand up paddle boarding 

* learn a new language

* make salted caramels

* take an aroma therapy class

* sew more

* master knitting in the round

{i can knit perfectly well on two straight stick but still challenging to get my first round on circular needles to look uniform}

* ENJOY EACH AND EVERY SINGLE DAY WHETHER I AM DOING SOMETHING OR NOTHING

quite a mouthful right

wondering which one will i work on first

i may have used this quote before but its a good one all the same

Abraham Lincoln Once Said:

"In the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

that lingered for so long

is disappearing 

life is feeling lighter

the weight of the world no longer sitting on my shoulders

i am dancing through my days slowly

swaying to and from

there are no swift steps to stumble upon

just rocking to and from

breathing ever so deeply

and enjoying every moment of such

doing nothing...absolutely nothing

ok...that's a lie...there is always much to do but once more we are falling into our own rhythm...not sure how many more times i can type such but this time it feels good...it feels right...it feels like it is going to last

Maya Angelo Once Said:

"Everything in the Universe has a rhythm, Everything dances."

just sometimes

you need not say a thing