Tome of the Unknown Writer

The Health Care Quote of the Day

2009-12-16T11:11:00.000-08:00

Sen. Joe Lieberman tells the New York Times why he's suddenly decided to torpedo the Medicare buy-in he's supported for at least the last nine years and as recently as three months ago.

Apparently, the liberals liked the idea too much.

“Congressman Weiner [D-NY--and huge champion of the public option] made a comment that Medicare-buy in is better than a public option, it’s the beginning of a road to single-payer. Jacob Hacker, who’s a Yale professor who is actually the man who created the public option, said, ‘This is a dream. This is better than a public option. This is a giant step.’”

Way to go, Joe! I guess you're living the dream ... of every right-wing nutjob who's ever wanted to destroy anything resembling a progressive agenda. I guess that's what it means to be an "independent." Good luck getting that GOP nomination in '12.

"No Friends Here"

2009-12-15T13:07:00.000-08:00

Children like routine, repetition, consistency. Children do not like change.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. How many times I've told it to myself.

It's that mantra that has provided the only negative part to this whole new move. What will this massive change--the new house, the new routines, the new daycare--mean to Poohbutt? It's funny. I mean, the girl's two. It's not like she's going to remember any of this. I realize that, always have, and yet, it hasn't stopped the guilt from creeping in.

Well this morning, it washed over me like a great flood. I was dropping her off at her new daycare. Yall know I didn't handle the first daycare situation all that well. Well, Pooh had her issues as well. In fact, she pretty much kept to herself for the first five months she was there. The teachers would constantly tell me how well-behaved and how quiet Pooh was there. Eventually, they confessed that she hardly ever spoke to any of the other children or the teachers and really just spent the days playing by herself.

Something magical happened when she turned two. She became an extrovert and became quite popular with the other kids. Every time she entered the school, everybody would be like, "Good morning, Poohbutt." And when she left, it was "Good night, Poohbutt."

She'd enthusiastically wave and say goodbye, and then proceed to babble for the next half hour as I drove us home.

You can see why I was apprehensive in changing daycares. But I did. We didn't have much of a choice.

It's been a little over a week now. As you may have predicted, the teachers are telling me how well-behaved and quiet my girl is. So, I know what that means. They're also saying how well-adjusted she's been.

Well, maybe at school. But, at home, she's going through some changes: mean-mugging and throwing all kinds of fits. But that's to be expected. Her world has changed quite a bit these last 8 days. But these drastic differences between her reported conduct at school and her definite outbursts at home make you wonder what's going on in that little mind of hers and what's going on with her at the new day care.

I pulled up to the daycare, threw the gearshift into neutral and applied the parking brake. I turned, and chirped, "Here we are, Pooh, at your new school."

She had this vacant look on her face and whined ...

"No friends here, Daddy."

God. I thought I was gonna cry right then and there.

Top 10 CDs of 2009

2009-12-14T14:45:00.001-08:00

Well, it's been a long time since I've been a music critic listening to hundreds upon hundreds of the 100,000 albums that reportedly come out each year. I was about as "in the know" as one could be--and yet totally clueless about the vast majority of music coming out. In fact, it used to be funny when I'd tell people I was a music critic and they'd be utterly shocked when I'd never heard of their favorite artist du jour. Telling them that there were something like 100,000 CDs that came out that year was no excuse. I'm guessing it wasn't. But there's just too much stuff out there to be up on most of it, and I felt totally secure in my ignorance.

Well, no longer being a music critic, I'm even more ignoranter now. But I still like my music. I don't really try all that hard to keep up with what's going on, but I do happen upon stuff that I really enjoy. I thought, since I haven't blogged in awhile, I'd share my ten favorite discs of the year. I liked a bunch of stuff this year and actually feel bad about a bunch of the stuff that I didn't include.

Please don't treat this as an authoritative list (after all, I don't know shit). Just think of it as a helpful Christmas guide for that know-it-all smart-ass music fiend who always scoffs at what you give them for Christmas (we are soooo ungrateful).

1. Mos Def - The Ecstatic

Yeah, yeah. I know. Mos was soooo last millennium. I get a lot of crap at work for still liking the Defster, but I can't help it. I think he's actually striving towards genius, and I gotta respect it. Black Star and Black on Both Sides are hip-hop classics, and I think The New Danger should be. True Magic was true crap, but I think Black Dante really redeemed himself with The Ecstatic--even though, there are moments where it sounds like a Stones Throw compilation. Madlib got lazy on this one and just used a beat from one of his Beat Konducta tracks. But still ... Madlib, Oh No, Georgia Anne Muldrow, and Chad Hugo from N.E.R.D. teamed up to produce one hell of an album. Now, dear co-workers, ridicule away!

2. Blakroc - Blakroc

The '90s had The Heavy Rhyme Experience, and the 2Gs will (just barely) have this album--where a great band teamed up with some of the best rappers around to give us one of the best musical experiences a hip-hop head can have. Confession: I was never much of a fan of The Brand New Heavies nor The Heavy Rhyme Experience. However, I am a fan of the Black Keys, and I do love this disc. They've got Luda, ODB, Q-Tip, Mos Def, Pharoahe Monch, Nicole Wray (who can sing her ass off), Rza, Raekwon, Jim Jones, and NOE (who sounds a little too Jay-Z for me. But M.O.P.'s Billy Danze is the one who really stands out here. His ubertestosterone vocals mesh perfectly with the BKs' dirty rock stylee. Blakroc is the best mix of rock and rap since Rage gave up their battle against the Machine.

3. Passion Pit - Manners

Yeah. I wrote about these guys before. And what I wrote about them before still stands:

"I don't know exactly how to describe them. Maybe something like--2Gs electro-rockers with a taste for late '80s dance music and a dash of the Beach Boys. Something along those lines. Maybe."

Let me just add that they are catchy as hell. Just listen to "The Reeling" to see what I'm talking about. I just can't stop returning to that song and this album--no matter how hard I try. I think I'll be listening to this one for years to come.

4. The Heavy - The House That Dirt Built

I'm a bit of a The Heavy fan. Actually, I try screaming their praises every chance I get. You don't hear me, dough. Not that I blame you. I've been trying to ignore myself for years. Anyway, I used to describe their first album, Great Vengeance and Furious Fire, like: "Well, imagine if Lenny Kravitz didn't suck." That album had more of a dirty, retro funk--like Poets of Rhythm, Sugarman Three, and Sharon Jones--feel than this one does. This is more of a hard-rocker. I still love it, though. I hate it when artists give me the exact same thing on their sophomore efforts.

5. Shafiq Husayn - En' A-Free-Ka

Now, if my scuttlebutt is correct, Sa-Ra (of which, Shafiq is a part) felt shackled by Babygrande on their debut release, The Hollywood Recordings. They celebrated their release from the major label with a 23-song release on one of my favorite indy labels, Ubiquity. That album, Nuclear Evolution: The Age of Love is a sound to behold. There aren't too many creative forces in R&B these days trying to make lasting music, and I applaud Sa-Ra's efforts. However, I'm from the LP era. Give me your best 9-10 songs and leave me begging for more. After listening to Nuke Eve a few times, I'm left begging for Gatorade to replenish my electrolytes and an extra cranium to help me digest it all.

I enjoy Shafiq's solo En' A-Free-Ka much more. Yeah. It's 17 songs long, but it doesn't feel as exhaustive. Also, I feel like I know where Sa-Ra's coming from a bit more easily--like they're on a Sly-and-the-Family-Clinton-Prince-3000 train that I've been on before. Shafiq feels a bit more unique. If you're of the Mary J. Blige school of R&B, I don't think you'll enjoy this much. But if you can handle Badu, you'll definitely want to check Shafiq--and Sa-Ra--out.

6. Major Lazer - Guns Don't Kill People ... Lazers Do

I love Diplo and his music so much, I even dedicated an entry in My Booty Novel to a Diplo set I went to. Major Lazer is the brainchild of Diplo and Switch. Oh, wait. According to Amazon, Major Lazer is ...

"a Jamaican commando who lost his arm in the secret Zombie War of 1984. The US military rescued him and repurposed experimental lazers as prosthetic limbs. Since then Major Lazer has been a hired renegade soldier for a rogue government operating in secrecy underneath the watch of M5 and the CIA. His cover is that of a dancehall night club owner from Trinidad and he enlisted the help of long-time allies and uber-producers, Diplo and Switch, to produce his first LP. His true mission is to protect the world from the dark forces of evil that live just under the surface of a civilized society. He fights vampires and various monsters, parties hard, and has a rocket powered skateboard."

Yes, these white boys are crazy. And so is their music. Guns Don't Kill People ... is a futuristic dancehall madhouse where Baltimore, Rio, and Kingston collide in Diplo and Switch's hands to give you a maddening dance adventure you ain't never heard before. Amanda Blank and Santogold make appearances, of course, along with a bunch of dancehall wizards to provide one magical experience.

7. Diamond District - In the Ruff

I think half of my co-workers are somehow involved in the DC hip-hop scene. As a result, I've been exposed to what my adopted town has to offer, and I gotta tell ya, I like it. For those who keep clamoring that hip-hop is dead, come to DC to have the life breathed back into your hopes. Oddisee is our local super-producer. He's got those hyperbolic drums much like Black Milk, and, like Tronic, every track jumps out at you, smacks you in the face, and steals your wallet. Rapper XO is pretty cool. And I'm a big fan of yU, whose Before Taxes was bound to make this list, but I wasn't sure if it came out in '09 or '08. Cop that, too, if you can find it.

8. The Dead Weather - Horehound

Jack White is one of the reasons I actually started listening to rock again after 20+ years of hating the stuff. Oh yes, I can listen to the White Stripes all day long. I even like his other side project, The Raconteurs. But this ... this I fell in love with. I can't get enough of lead singer Alison Mosshart's voice (I guess I'll have to check her out in The Kills). The two together--with an all-star band of musicians from groups I've never listened to--have created something so rough, so rugged, so raw, I find myself huddled in the corner of the shower, scrubbing my black ass pink under the scalding-hot water, until I somehow feel clean again. Oh yes, you can call it love.

9. Tegan & Sara - Sainthood

I generally like my music pretty rough around the edges. Hostility and aggression are also admirable qualities. I've gotta tell you, I'm surprised these sisters are on this list myself. I'm chalking up to a Celebration of My Inner White Girl. All I can say is that Tegan and Sara's power pop is so infectious that, by the second time I listened to Sainthood, I was already singing along. And whenever I need a feelgood moment, this is the disc I turn to.

10. Doom - Born Like This

There was a time, not too long ago, when MF Doom would've dominated any Top 10 list I could come up with. Viktor Vaughn, King Geedorah, Madvillainy, DangerDoom. The man's genius seemed to know no bounds. Even without the MF (I hear he got sued over it--which I guess means that Grimm is the only MF left in hip-hop), Doom is still one of my favorite MCs. He didn't blow my mind on this one, but Born Like This still deserves to be on any Best of list for 2009.

The Obama Afghanistan Plan Song of the Day

2009-12-01T07:33:00.000-08:00

Speculation has run rampant around the globe in anticipation of President Barack Obama's planned speech tonight detailing his "new" plan for Afghanistan. With Britain's PM Gordon Brown already announcing his intentions to send more British troops to the country, it is all but a foregone conclusion that President Obama is going to follow General McChrystal's plan for an increase of American troops for the region. The question is no longer (nor never really was) whether Obama was going to follow McChrystal's wishes for increased involvement, but to what degree the increase will take. For an in-depth analysis of the war in Afghanistan and President Obama's plans for that war, we go to Tome special correspondent, Pete Seeger, to read between the lines and offer his own special analysis of the situation. Pete?

Where I'm At

2009-11-29T21:14:00.000-08:00

Sitting here watching the Steelers and Ravens. With Big Ben out, I'm surprised this game is as good as it is. Go, Dennis Dixon!

Anyway, it's been a long, holiday week. As you know, we Unknowns have just bought a house. Since I had vacation to burn, I took the week off to paint. There was a steep learning curve for yours truly. And I'm just getting over my exhaustion. Earlier today, Pooh and I put Mrs. Unknown on a plane to Switzerland for a meeting and settled in for a pleasant afternoon of football and pizza. Pooh was screaming, "Go Steelers! Go Steelers!" as I put her to bed.

So, I figure now is as good a time as any to tell you all where I'm at in this Unknown life of mine:

Well, I'll be honest, August's Health Care Stories Project pretty much wiped me out. There I was, saying I was going to take some time off to write a new novel--only to start the most intense blogging project I could've possibly imagine. I don't know. I was getting so upset over the "health care debate," I felt I had to do something. I hope in our own, small way we made a difference.

I have no regrets either way, but I don't think I've really recovered my former "swagger," yet. Of course, there were a lot of mitigating factors. There was work--as usual. Then there was the accursed house-hunting. I may still rant about that later.

I gotta tell ya, though, I was shocked by how all-consuming looking for a house can be. There's a heart-rending, house-hunting paradox that never can and never will be resolved: you're never supposed to get your hopes up when looking at a house, but, in order to put a bid in and possibly commit yourself to 30 years of debt, you really have to see yourself in any given house; and what is seeing yourself in a house if it's not getting your hopes up?

I can't tell you how many Christmases and barbecues I'd envisioned that will never be. How many disappointments. But hey, it was all part of the process. And, as we kept telling ourselves, these were good problems. There are so many folks out there still losing their homes, while we got to buy our first. So, no matter what was happening, no matter how depressing it became, we were indeed fortunate. Even though I'm a little bummed that we didn't get to move back into the city, I know I should count my blessings. And I do.

So, there are a lot of changes in store for the Campbell Clan. The house will not be the last of them. I'll keep you informed as they come to fruition.

One change was my "celebrating" my 39 1/2th birthday. Yeah, I know. A half-birthday. When was the last time you counted one of those? It's just that I'm suddenly looking at the hilltop, and I didn't know how I felt about possibly going over it.

So yeah ... I'm looking at a few changes.

The new Growler is one I'm looking forward to. Frederick Douglass had one. It's where we got the idea. His was a little, windowless brick building he had built in his backyard where he'd go every night to write. Mine is a little room in the basement overlooking our backyard. I painted mine "Jazz Blue." I'm pretty excited. Like Virginia, I will finally have a room of my own in which to write. I can't wait.

Aside from writing, I would kinda like to turn the Growler into my own, private DJ booth. I don't know why, but I can't get the idea of being an internet DJ out of my system. It's just that, as a music fiend, I have so much music I can never possibly listen to, and I like sharing.

I've done the internet radio thing twice before, which met with (a) little interest. But those were just throwing up a bunch of songs and letting them play. There was no real interaction whatsoever. This time, though, I'd like to be an actual disc jockey--talking, ranting, shucking, jiving--with a podcast. No, I wouldn't expect this thing to be a success, either. But I think it would be fun.

Of course, a bunch of things would have to happen before I go on the cyberwaves, though.

One of those things is a new novel. I don't like talking about works in progress, but I will tell you it's a science fiction story, oddly enough, about storytelling. It's been delayed a bit with the move, but I plan to get back to it in a week or two. I think those of you--all 12 of you--who liked Sunshine Patriots will dig this one.

Actually, if all goes as hoped, I'd like to celebrate my 40th year on this planet by coming out with three books next year. One would be the aforementioned new novel, of course. Another would be a sort-of "Best of" Tome here. And I have another book, a satire, that will be sure to piss a bunch of folks off. I'm four chapters into it.

It's weird. I'm not really looking at the impending doom of my 40th birthday as my becoming "over the hill." It's not that I think 40 is the new 20, or any such nonsense. I actually don't know if I am cool with it. But birthdays are good problems. A lot of people never make it to 40. So, no matter what is happening, no matter how depressing it becomes, I am indeed fortunate. Even though I'm a still little bummed that we didn't get to move back into the city, I know I should count my blessings. And I do.

So, for now, I'm just thinking of all the possibilities the new home and the new year can bring. And how cool would it be to do something extraordinary? How cool would it be to come out with three books in one year?

It would be so spectacular (my name not being Nora Roberts nor Stephen King), it almost wouldn't matter if they sold well, or not.

Almost.

So, that's where I'm at right now. On the threshold of the Eternal New. A little apprehensive. A little scared. Feeling my age and feeling my oats. But more than willing to take on all this change--and the future.

Way to go, Dennis Dixon!

Sure, you lost, but you sure as hell did yourself proud!

Happy Anniversary, Babe!

2009-11-20T06:43:00.000-08:00

The Latest GOP Duplicity: Khalid Sheikh Mohammed

2009-11-19T07:02:00.000-08:00

As we all know by now, last week Attorney General Eric Holder decided to give (you all know the phrase) "accused mastermind of the September 11 attacks" Khalid Sheikh Mohammed his day in civilian court. As was to be expected, the GOP is on the attack. Here are some of the things they are saying about the dangers of not trying KSM in our esteemed military tribunals:

"Mohammad is a terrorist--is alleged to be a terrorist. ... The United States court system was not designed to handle unlawful enemy combatants."

"It represents a historic change in how we treat those who are at war with the United States. It is going to create a lot of complications once we are at trial."

--Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Alabama)

"I don't know how you can make a statement that failure to convict is not an option, when you have got juries in this country. I think a lot of Americans thought O.J. Simpson ought to have been convicted for murder rather than be in jail for what he is jail for now... I'm a farmer not a lawyer but I just want to make that observation."

-- Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa)

"... a perversion of the justice system."

--Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina)

Former Attorney General John Ashcroft, in an interview with NBC, said the administration's decision to turn to the civilian court system "may be a new level of repudiation" of the notion that the United States is undertaking a war on terror.

-- AP, Giuliani against trying Mohammed in civilian court

"The president is unilaterally ending the war against terrorism and returning us to a pre-September 11 law enforcement regime. ... Because the trials will take place in federal court. The president is conferring Constitutional rights on enemy combatants who are not entitled to Constitutional rights."

-- Rep. Peter King (R-New York)

"The reality is, we are breaking precedent here. ... The reality is, he would get a fair trial there (in a military tribunal). A case like this, the government is put on trial. The more exciting headlines will be the headlines against the government. The headlines will be, '180 Waterboardings. The CIA did this terrible thing and that terrible thing to me.' Some of it will be lies and some of it will be true."

"It's a political decision because I believe this is being done to satisfy left-wing critics who all during the last two or three years have campaigned against these military tribunals."

-- Rudy Giuliani

But, of course, despite what Republican critics want you to believe, trying KSM in federal criminal court is not breaking with US precedence. The original World Trade Center bombers were tried in those same courts. Those courts have also tried and convicted Ramzi Ahmed Yousef, Richard Reid, Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman, Jose Padilla, Ali Saleh al-Marri, John Walker Lindh, Masoud Khan, and hundreds just like 'em. And, oh yeah, Zacarias Moussaoui (you remember the phrase), the convicted 20th September 11 hijacker, was tried in Virginia back in 2006, which started under Ashcroft's watch (hmm ... "new level of repudiation" there, Johnny?). I wonder what some of those same people said after the latter's trial:

"[The White House] probably thought it might be good to try this one in public."

-- Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Alabama)

"Today's verdict is a small but important piece of justice. Mr. Moussaoui's punishment is proof that our society is grounded in the liberating power of justice and the rule of law, which are our most valuable weapons in the war on terror."

-- Sen. Bill Frist (R-Tennessee)

"At times, this has been a maddening experience. The testimony of the defendant was deeply offensive, but through it all the victims have triumphed over the terrorist rants."

-- Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty (W. Administration)

"No, he will be pretty much locked by himself for the rest of his life, which, I think, he deserves, if anyone does. No, this is not an easy sentence by any means. I do think, again, in the sense of justice, that a death penalty was more appropriate."

-- Rep. Peter King (R-New York)

"I testified in the penalty phase of the trial. And it was much more difficult than I thought it would be, reviewing all that, going over it, seeing the films of it.

"And, you know, obviously I'm personally involved in this, but I would have preferred a different verdict. But it does show that we have a legal system, that we follow it, that we respect it. And it is exactly what is missing in the parts of the world or a lot of the parts of the world that are breeding terrorism.

"So maybe there is something good that can come out of this in showing these people that--at least showing the ones that have any kind of an open mind that we are a free society, a lawful society, a decent society, that we have respect for people's rights and that we can have disagreements about whether the death penalty should be imposed on somebody like Moussaoui.

"I think it should have been. I've been a lawyer more of my life than anything else. And I respect a jury's verdict. I sat in front of this jury for about three or four hours. They look like very, very careful and very decent people. And I am sure they did the best they could."

-- Rudy Giuliani

So, let's see, when the Bush administration decided to try Moussaoui in our federal courts, during the very height of "The War on Terror," these Republicans were not up in arms. Ashcroft and Gonzalez (who is also apparently criticizing Holder) initiated these criminal proceedings on this "enemy combatant." Giuliani actually participated in the trial itself. Some, like Giuliani and King, were disappointed that ZM wasn't given the death penalty. But many Republicans, including Giuliani again, considered this civilian verdict was a victory of American jurisprudence and American society as a whole. But now that the Obama administration is pursuing the exact same track that W. went down, America faces the gravest danger we have ever faced!!! All brought about by this rogue President and his AG!!!

Now, Giuliani, who is being accused of flip-flopping, is defending his newfound stance (watch the interview below), saying that there weren't military tribunals during the first WTC bombers trials and that the Supreme Court had declared military tribunals unconstitutional in 2006--which was why he participated in the Moussaoui trial. Well, Rudy, maybe your memory's a little cloudy, but the Supreme Court told the W. administration that they needed to rework the tribunals in June 2006; the Moussaoui trial concluded in May 2006. You weren't complaining about Moussaoui's trial venue any time before then or since.

Hmmm ...

Now, look, it's not as though Republicans are the only politicians who change their positions depending on who is in power. In 2004, Massachusetts Democrats voted in a law to strip the governor of the power of naming a replacement to the US Senate. They thought Dem. Senator John Kerry may win the Presidency, and they didn't want Rep. Governor Mitt Romney to have the power to replace Kerry's seat with a Republican. With Sen. Ted Kennedy's death, they repealed the law, knowing that Dem. Governor Duval Patrick would replace the Dem with another Dem.

It's all normal. It's called "playing politics." It's just ... shall we say, queer that the GOP, the party that portrays itself as the True American Patriots, the party that constantly claims that they are the party to "keep America safe," and who feel that this War on Terror is the gravest, most dangerous threat facing our country today, is so ready and sooooooo willing to play politics on this issue.

Tell 'im, BlackMan!

2009-11-18T08:11:00.001-08:00

I just had to share this one. Dirty Red, over at A BlackMan's View, has written this brilliantly hysterical and oh-too-true rant about R. Kelly's latest piece of piss-poor pop poop. Apparently, R., the 18th Lunkhead, is extolling the virtues of wanting to get a sister pregnant.

Personally, I can't stand the Urinator. I was still in Chi-Town when he broke big, and, since he was a homeboy, there was nowhere a brother could go to escape the mediocrity. Now, I feel is mediocrity and his depravity deserve my vitriol. Fortunately, Dirty Red's is better. You gotta read it.

Our New House!!!

2009-11-17T16:19:00.001-08:00

Well, I didn't know whether to jump for joy or vomit all over their offices, but all the eyes have been dotted and the teas crossed.

And here is the Unknowns' new home!!!!

And it will all be ours ...

in 2039!!!!!!!!

And in celebration of this auspicious occasion, we bring you this blast from the past...

Ha! You probably thought it was going to be Madness' "Our House," didn't ya?

C'mon now, you should know by now that I'm more perverse than that!

Peter Galbraith: Advocacy for Oil and the Death of the Common Good

2009-11-13T08:35:00.001-08:00

As you've probably heard by now, US Ambassador and renowned "liberal hawk", Peter Galbraith has been caught with his fingers, hands, feet, his entire person, in the cookie jar. Galbraith was Clinton's former ambassador to Croatia and was named second-in-command in Afghanistan earlier this year. During the the lead-up to the Iraq war, Galbraith was a noted "liberal hawk" who strongly advocated Sadam's ouster, giving a peculiar "bipartisan" legitimacy to Bush's claims of Hussein's continued danger to our world.

In 2002, he became an advisor to Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz on Kurdistan and has since been a strident advocate for Kurdish autonomy in Iraq and their retaining control of the oil reserves found in their area of the country. "Ironically" enough, back in June 2004, Galbraith set up a little-known company, Porcupine
, that holds a five percent interest in newly-developed oil fields in--guess where?--yep--Kurdistan.

Of course, Galbraith has provided a very peculiar truth in defense of his actions:

“The business interest, including my investment into Kurdistan, was consistent with my political views. These were all things that I was promoting, and in fact, have brought considerable benefit to the people of Kurdistan, the Kurdistan oil industry, and also to shareholders."

Sorry for my lack of eloquence, but ... Well, duh!

His working diligently for the autonomy of his business partners who, if they were to become freer, would favor him with better business deals, which stand to gain him hundreds of millions is no conflict of interest at all. No conflict of his interest.

However, Peter, that is not the issue at all. As Reider Visser, a historian of southern Iraq, has put it:

“Galbraith has been such a central person to the shaping of the Iraqi Constitution, far more than I think most Americans realize. All those beautiful ideas about principles of federalism and local communities having control are really cast in a different light when the community has an oil field in its midst and Mr. Galbraith has a financial stake."

Galbraith says that the Kurds knew about his business dealings while dealing with them and that he had no obligation to tell US and Iraqi officials about his negotiations.

Perhaps Galbraith is right. Maybe he actually didn't have a legal obligation to tell folks what he was up to. But did he not have a moral obligation to let us know what exactly was motivating his actions?

After all, this man has been a vigorous "liberal hawk." His voice helped add legitimacy to the invasion of Iraq. He has strongly fought for the Kurds. He has written op-ed pieces, he's met with other officials and diplomats, he has been on Fox News and Bill O'Reilly advocating these positions. And people took him for his word, took his words as displays of conviction, because they thought he was a dedicated public official, strongly professing all "those beautiful ideas about principles of federalism and local communities having control." But what he was really doing, we can only assume, was trying to line his own pockets.

Now, it's not as though Galbraith's "Advocacy for Oil" is the only example of this. I've already complained about Rep. Mike Ross's enriching himself in a shady land deal with Drug USA while working his ass off trying to stop the public option. I've gone red in the face, screaming about Billy Tauzin's giving the pharmaceutical companies billions with his Medicaid Prescription Drug Bill only to immediately resign and become Pharma's main lobbyist for millions a year. We all know about Duke Cunningham's taking money for military contracts--possibly putting our troops in danger in order to put more money in his pocket. And the Interior Department was tarred-and-feathered last year for Sex-for-Oil scandal.

Obama, to his credit, has tried to at least address the "revolving door" between government officials and their powerful business cronies: where both parties go back and forth, trying to regulate the industries they once worked for and/or may work for one day while trying to regulate or neglecting to regulate their former/future employers. Apparently, with far too many people, when the common good is measured against their own, private interests, the former inevitably suffers. And their actions simply cannot be trusted. I mean, can we really think that Galbraith's actions were solely enacted out of his principles of federalism and local control? Can we not imagine the dollar signs floating in his eyes every time he acted on behalf of the Kurds? Can we think that former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson's only concern for Goldman Sachs (where he used to be CEO) was driven solely by his need to "save the economy"? Might he have had other motives? Did those motives allow him to see Lehman go down in flames? After all, Goldman Sachs is now making record profits! And do we think that current Treasury Secretary Timothy "Eraserhead" Geithner's might--just might--be hesitant to come down hard on all these financial institutions because they are all his cronies?

But Obama has faced immense challenges in closing this revolving door, has left many vital positions vacant because of this policy, and has actually let a few go through despite this policy. And one can't foresee these problems resolving themselves any time soon.

It seems to me, with the demise of LBJ's War on Poverty and, subsequently, liberalism and the rise of conservatism, that slowly "Greed is Good" has overwhelmed the concept of the "Common Good." When you look at FDR's New Dealers and the children of the New Deal in the JFK and LBJ administrations, you see a full embrace that government can indeed solve systemic problems, that our government, a liberal democracy, is here to solve those problems, to provide the greatest good for the greatest amount of people. Classic liberals (including our forefathers, for that is what they were) believed that democracy was placed here to free the people--from the tyranny of the monarchy, from the excesses of government from itself, and, with the 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments, the tyranny of the majority. These core beliefs, in the middle of the last century, gave us the strengthening of unions, the successes of the Civil Rights movement, social security, Medicare and Medicaid, the national highway system, along with many other "rights" and services that we still take for granted.

With these victories did come some overreaching. LBJ and Sarge Shriver's belief that they could actually end poverty did create a culture of dependence among welfare recipients. And it was a vital critique conservatives provided (if they only would've canned the racial shit) when addressing that fact. However, as conservatives often do, they threw out the baby with the bath water. And when Reagan declared, "Government is not a solution to our problem, government is the problem," he provided a fundamental shift within the workings of our own government.

People started entering government because they wanted to dismantle government, and they wanted to illustrate, with as many examples as possible, that government indeed does not work. However, if government were actually the problem and if it actually did not work, what was the solution to this problem?

The only answer available, of course, was business. So, for the past 30 years, we have seen our government moving more and more towards to making more money-making opportunities for the money-makers in the name of the "Common Good" but oftentimes running counter to that good. We have seen waves of deregulation. We have seen the privatization of public utilities. You see city after city using tax dollars that they'll never recoup to pay for stadiums for billionaires. You see multi-billion-dollar, multinational corporations like Wal-Mart receive debilitating tax breaks to build stores in their towns, though they consistently lose money in the deal. You see politicians trading favors with their corporate contributors, driving up our national debt in order to give them government contracts the government doesn't need while levees rot in disrepair in Louisiana. And we see these politicians, their staffers, and government bureaucrats trading in their public paychecks for much bigger, private ones, cashing in on their access to government for their own wealth.

And the rest of us suffer for their newfound wealth. After all, despite all its flaws, liberal democracy's overall concern is the "Common Good." And, while prosperity is the concern of almost any government, Business's overriding concern is making money. And more times than not, that concern runs completely counter to the Common Good. When we have government officials whose interests run in both camps, can we really expect the Common Good to truly be served? After all, at any time, they can cash in for some real money, discretely sliding their resumes to the very people they are supposed to be regulating.

It's a critical question we need to be asking ourselves right now. We are now being poisoned by the fruits of the "Greed is Good" credo that our own politicians seem to still be obeying. The deregulation of the S&Ls led to our bailing them out in '89. Our privatization of public utilities led to Enron. Glass-Steagall's repeal led us to our current financial crisis.

Can we expect our astronomic national debt to be reduced when politicians don't want to raise taxes for fear of being booted out of office but they still want to dole out public largess to their corporate contributors? Can we really expect Barney Frank to re-regulate these financial institutions when they give him so much money? We are witnessing first-hand the power that the health care industry's contributions, how that power will almost definitely succeed in thwarting real health care reform. Won't the same thing happen with any kind of environmental legislation Congress may dream up? Is there any issue, any area of concern, any arena in which we can trust any of our politicians will act in the interests of the Common Good?

Galbraith has proved yet another example (let's not forget Halliburton) that we can't trust them when it comes to our own foreign policy. Geithner, Paulson, et. al, have proved it in this latest financial crisis.

Everywhere we turn, we are looking at really tough decisions that our leaders have to make. And they have to make it for the Common Good. Our health care crisis was largely caused by our health insurers; the financial crisis, by our financial institutions; it shouldn't matter what is best for them. What does matter is what is best for all of us. The same goes for Iraq and Afghanistan. And too many other things to list in this already overly long blog post. What we need are the public servants of old, the LBJs and the Sarge Shrivers of the world, the people who wanted to do what was best for this country. Instead, we're saddled with the Geithners and Tauzins of the world, who are only concerned with lining their own pockets.

Lord help us all.

My BS NFL Predictions -- 1/2way Thru

2009-11-12T15:32:00.000-08:00

Well, New Jersey governor-elect Chris Cristie's campaign has ignited an entire and utterly complete political wave of "accountability" and "personal responsibility" never before felt in our elected officials!

With Rep. Mike Ross no longer taking personal money from the drug companies and voting for the public option and Rep. Barney Frank eschewing all that big, beautiful banking money and cracking down on our nation's financially- and morally-bankrupt financial institutions, I have caught the fever as well!

So, in my first act of personal accountability, I have to decided to hold myself ... well, I guess, accountable for the BS NFL predictions I made at the beginning of the season.

Let's see how I've done so far.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: No matter how whack these predictions turn out to be, they can't be any worse than my 2-7 fantasy football season. So please keep in mind that I, like my fellow NFL owner-aspirant, Rush Limbaugh, am simply talking out of my ass.]

NFC East
MY PREDICTION

1. Philadelphia Eagles
2. New York Giants
3. Dallas Cowboys
4. Washington Redskins

REALITY

1. Dallas Cowboys (6-2)
2. Philadelphia Eagles (5-3)
3. New York Giants (5-4)
4. Washington Redskins (2-6)

I originally predicted that the Eagles were the team to beat here. I still hold that to be true. You just have no clue what Eagles are gonna show up. One week, they dismantle the Giants like they were the Oakland Raiders, or something. But a couple weeks before, they actually lost to the Oakland Raiders.

The Giants are even more schizoid than that. They start off the season going 5-0 and then have dropped the next four straight. But when you have Nazi leadership (aka Tom Coughlin), you've gotta expect your boys to be streaky. You blitz through Poland and storm through the USSR and then find yourself stalled at Leningrad's city gates. No, I don't expect a million people to die as a result of the Giants' season. What I figure is, they'll get their act together this week and streak all the way to the playoffs and possibly the Super Bowl.

Hey, did you know there was a Finnish rock band called the Leningrad Cowboys? According to Wikipedia, they are known for their "humorous songs, ludicrous hairstyles and concerts featuring the Russian military band Alexandrov ensemble."

Those hairstyles are ludicrous!

And so is the Cowboys' success (SEGUE!!!). Their schedule hasn't been too heavy, but I'm still a little surprised. The only consolation is that a Tony Romo-led team couldn't possibly win a Super Bowl.

And a Daniel Snyder-owned football team apparently cannot even win a single game. Until the day that the Nashville Niggers take the field against the Kansas City Kikes, I will forever hate Washington's football team's name (no, I guess then I'd hate three horribly-named teams instead of just one). And as long as that little Napoleon continues to own the Foreskins, I will forever wish them ill. However, I have to thank them for giving me the football highlight of the year: their giving the Detroit Lions their first win in twenty friggin' games! That was just beautiful.

NFC South

MY PREDICTION

1. Carolina Panthers
2. Atlanta Falcons
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
4. New Orleans Saints

REALITY

1. New Orleans Saints (8-0)
2. Atlanta Falcons (5-3)
3. Carolina Panthers (3-5)
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-7)

Please don't let it ever be said that Bill Campbell can't smoke himself up some crack now. Little did we know, he was apparently on a five-week bender when he made the abovementioned prediction.

I originally thought this division was a toss-up. We all know Carolina's about as inconsistent as they come. And they still are (I mean, who loses to Buffalo?), but they are consistently coming up with the short end of the stick.

I thought Atlanta wasn't going to be as good as they were last year. They seem to be about the same. And, wishful thinking on my part, I thought Tampa would be a little better. Who knows, though? That rookie QB of theirs, Josh Freeman, looked like an absolute beast last week against Green Bay.

The real surprise, of course, is New Orleans. I still don't think you can outscore your way to a Super Bowl, but we shall see.

NFC North

MY PREDICTIONS

1. Chicago Bears
2. Minnesota Vikings
3. Green Bay Packers
4. Detroit Lions

REALITY

1. Minnesota Vikings (7-1)
2. Chicago Bears (4-4)
3. Green Bay Packers (4-4)
4. Detroit Lions (1-7)

All right, I was gonna make some excuses for the Bears, saying something like, "It must be harder to integrate a new quarterback into your team than I thought." But I guess Brett Favre proves that one false.

Of course, Jay Cutler ain't no Favre and Matt Forte certainly ain't Adrian Peterson. Mrs. Unknown would be really pissed if I say anything nice about Favre. Seriously, I haven't seen her hate an athlete this virulently since the time she found out that steroid-popping Mark McGwire also had special contacts made to see the ball better. I will say this about the Vikes, though: that recent loss to the Steelers proved that they aren't quite ready for prime time.

Aside from that, the Bears are a lot weaker than I'd originally imagined and the Packers much stronger. The Lions looked damned good against the Redskins last month, but that was just a big ole Battle of the Suck. I'd like to see where they go in a couple of years.

NFL West

MY PREDICTIONS

1. Seattle Seahawks
2. San Francisco 49ers
3. Arizona Cardinals
4. St. Louis Rams

REALITY

1. Arizona Cardinals (5-3)
2. San Francisco 49ers (3-5)
3. Seattle Seahawks (3-5)
4. St. Louis Rams (1-7)

Face it, this is a crap division. What was I supposed to say? I think Arizona's #1 by default. Seattle is once again plagued by injuries. St. Louis is, well, now we know what happened to the World Class Wrecking Crew.

But I said it before, San Fran is where my heart is this season. They've still got QB issues, but Mike Singletary's got these guys on the right page. Sure, they're 3-5, but they started out 3-1; and they're dead even on Points Against and Points For. They're tough and are only gonna get tougher.

AFC East

MY PREDICTIONS

1. New England Patriots
2. Miami Dolphins
3. Buffalo Bills
4. New York Jets

REALITY

1. New England Patriots (6-2)
2. New York Jets (4-4)
3. Miami Dolphins (3-5)
4. Buffalo Bills (3-5)

OK, I have hated the New England Patriots since Sunday, January 27, 2002. Yeah, that's when the Pats rolled into Heinz Field, bleary-eyed from watching all that videotape, and totally dominated the Steelers on their way to their first Super Bowl victory. Look yall, I'm tired of the hate. I need to move on. I've got a kid now. But the rest of the NFL keeps falling for their Jedi mind tricks, falling for the okey-doke every week, never realizing that they don't have a real running back and their D actually kinda sucks, and let's the Pats come away with yet another victory. I'd actually be impressed--if my hate wasn't so great.

I'd originally predicted the Jets to be in last place (for which I got some crap). But I'm impressed with how Matt Sanchez can put down the hot dogs long enough to eke out a victory here and there.

The big disappointment here has got to be Buffalo (Miami has a pretty good injury excuse). I mean, how the hell can you have two of the most dangerous wide receiver threats in T.O. and Lee Evans and still throw mostly to your running backs and tight ends?! It just boggles the mind. But I guess that's why QB Evans is called "Check-Down Trent."

AFC South

MY PREDICTIONS

1. Tennessee Titans
2. Indianapolis Colts
3. Houston Texans
4. Jacksonville Jaguars

REALITY

1. Indianapolis Colts (8-0)
2. Houston Texans (5-4)
3. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-4)
4. Tennessee Titans (2-6)

I know some look at Peyton and Eli Manning and argue that they are poster boys for why cousins should never be allowed to marry. Aesthetically, I think they may have a point there. But athletically ... you gotta admit, the Mannings were onto something, doubling up their athletic abilities so that their progeny could be as dominant as they now are.

Like the Patriots and Tom Brady, Peyton and the Colts know how to win. I don't think the Colts are 8-0 material. But we're going to see just how good they are. In the past two weeks, they have lost starting linebacker, Tyjuan Hagler, S Bob Sanders, and CB Marlin Jackson. Indy was fairly vulnerable to the run before. You gotta think folks are just going "three yards and a cloud of dust" on them the rest of the year--if only to keep the ball out of Manning's hands.

The biggest disappointment this year has got to be Tennessee. I often say that water seeks its own level, and, when it comes to Kerry Collins, apparently so does urine. Because his performance this year has been the definition of piss-poor. After leading the Titans to an 0-6 start and that 13-3 season last year a distant memory, Fisher finally benched Collins for Vince Young, who has been living up to all that Heisman hype these past two games. It'll be interesting to see just how far they can turn it around. And let's hope Houston finally makes the playoffs.

AFC North

MY PREDICTIONS

1. Pittsburgh Steelers
2. Baltimore Ravens
3. Cincinnati Bengals
4. Cleveland Browns

REALITY

1. Cincinnati Bengals (6-2)
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2)
3. Baltimore Ravens (4-4)
4. Cleveland Browns (1-7)

Oh, like you saw Cincy's starting the season 6-2. I've always been a Marv Lewis fan. So, I'm sorta glad he's righted the ship so far. Let's see how long it lasts (if I sound snarky, don't forget I am a Pittsburgh native). I would be worried except the Steelers are on to that Jedi mind trick shit, too, and own the AFC North.

The Ravens are a little disappointing. The D is getting kind of old, and Ed Reed simply can't be everywhere--though it sure does seem like he is. I wonder if this year will finally convince B'more that they actually need a wide receiver who's not paying AARP dues if they're ever going to get anywhere. Well, I'm a Steeler fan, so I certainly hope not.

The Browns ... hm ... well ...

Here! Maybe these Jim Brown highlights will cheer ya up!!!

AFC West

MY PREDICTIONS

1. San Diego Chargers
2. Oakland Raiders
3. Denver Broncos
4. Kansas City Chiefs

REALITY

1. Denver Broncos (6-2)
2. San Diego Chargers (5-3)
3. Oakland Raiders (2-6)
4. Kansas City Chiefs (1-7)

When it comes to pretenders to the throne, the Steelers are singing "Don't Believe the Hype" so often that Chuck D. and the Bomb Squad must be rolling in the royalties. (Yeah, I went a long way for that one). Denver was the latest victim. I can't believe, with Kyle Orton, that Denver's doing as well as they are. But after Monday's game, defenses are going to believe, with Kyle Orton, Denver can't throw the ball down field. I imagine the Orange Crush is about to lose its fizz.

The only problem for San Diego is that LT has gone totally swish and can't be in the least bit depended on. In some ways, I wish they'd shed the Norv Turner Curse and finally win one. But it's so much fun making fun of Norv Turner, it wouldn't seem right for them to win.

THE PLAYOFFS

My initial BS playoff teams were the G-Men, Minnesota, Seattle, Carolina, Philadelphia, and Chicago for the NFC, and New England, Indy, San Diego, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and Tennessee for the AFC.

Well, obviously, Tennessee ain't gonna make it, but the others still have a shot. I also had Pittsburgh and Philly meeting in the Super Bowl. I have a sneaking suspicion it's going to be the Giants, but we shall see ...

We ... shall ... see ...

Health Care Quote of the Day

2009-11-12T13:18:00.000-08:00

"We won because [the Democrats] need us. If they are going to summarily dismiss us by taking the pen to that language, there will be hell to pay. I don't say it as a threat, but if they double-cross us, there will be 40 people who won't vote with them the next time they need us -- and that could be the final version of this bill."

-- Rep. Bart Stupak, D[?]-Michigan

Yeah, the Congressman is happier than a pig in shit getting his anti-choice amendment passed and attached to the House's health care bill. And now he's feeling his oats, daring the President and Senate to take the amendment out of the final legislation.

Of course, as the Washington Monthly has pointed out, Stupak only brought 10 votes and not 40 and probably doesn't have the swagger to pull off his threat. Hopefully, they're right and someone finds the chutzpah to hit the Delete button on the Stupak Amendment before it's too late.

Happy Veterans' Day, Fam

2009-11-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

Richard Frazier (Grandfather, Army -- WWII -- Pacific Campaign)

Richard C. Frazier (Uncle, Marines)

Robert Frazier (Uncle, Marines -- Vietnam)

Raymond Frazier (Uncle, Marines)

Garfield Campbell (Uncle, Army)

Eloise Frazier (Aunt, Navy, Army Reserves, Air Force Reserves)

Duane Campbell (Cousin, Navy)

Adam Campbell (Half-Brother, Army -- Iraq)

Thanks, yall! And thanks to all the non-fam, too!

Just Say "No," Washington ... PLEASE!!!

2009-11-10T16:52:00.000-08:00

Like that festering forehead herpe that just will not go away, GMAC is up on Capitol Hill begging for more of our tax dollars to bail their venereal asses out yet again.

No, that $12.5 billion we've already given them apparently was not enough. Of course, how could it have been? GMAC is the only financial institution that has the dubious distinction of failing Geithner's bullshit pass/pass "stress test." The private sector will not touch their toxic asses and give them the capital needed to stay afloat. Yet, they expect--probably in private quarters, demand--that we give them more money to keep them going--so they can ask for more money--so we can bail them out again--so they can ask for more money--so we can ...

Any family who has ever had to deal with an addict knows this cycle well. And no, the folks at GMAC, on all of Wall Street, for that matter, are not the paragons of society they proclaim to be. They're not the "Masters of the Universe," or the savvy businessmen that have "made America great." No, they are addicts. They are crackheads!

Think about it.

These Great American Business Leaders have taken the American family's trust, the same family that gave them all the advantages in the world, who has raised them since they were mere pups, fed them and clothed them, educated and loved them. We believed in them and sent them out in the world to carve their own paths. We seldom regulated their behavior, which was, perhaps, our fault, thinking them responsible adults. We just knew they would do the right thing. We raised them right, after all. They knew that their prosperity was supposed to be our prosperity, too.

So, we forgave them their transgressions and their excesses. We turned a blind eye to much of what they were doing. Only to find that they were getting high off our hog the whole time, robbing us blind while we had our back turned. And now we've lost our homes and our jobs and they've cleaned out our bank accounts.

What we have found out is that these "financiers" are nothing but the greatest junkies America has ever seen--bring the entire American family--and a bunch of our European cousins--down with their addiction to quick riches and their total, criminal disregard for personal responsibility. For they know that Uncle will bail them out if they ever get in over their heads. And he won't even give them a hassle over it--blithely giving them a brand new Hummer when they've gone and fucked up the Porsche.

It's Uncle's fault, of course. They whined and pouted for more responsibility so in 1980, he deregulated their savings and loans. Not seeing the good time they were having, he even decided to no longer restrict their investment opportunities in '82. Cocaine was king, and they lost their minds. And Uncle bailed had to bail them out in '87. That was when they knew they had him. They knew they could get high as a kite, "borrow" all the money they wanted, and never have to pay it back.

Even with Uncle's "War on Drugs," he decided to take it easy on these crackheads. The "gangbangers" got the list of drug offenses expanded, mandatory minimum sentences, and Three Strikes legislation. But for his fam, Uncle repealed the Glass-Steagall Act and said, "Do whatever you want with the money! We love you, son!!!" And when Auntie Brooksley Born tried to regulate their drug use and their "over-the-counter derivatives," Uncle brought down the hammer of God and fired her ass.

And look where all this indulgence has gotten us? Totally, utterly, and royally screwed. And these crackhead capitalists know it. But just like Samuel L. in Jungle Fever, they know that if they just did their little "Happy Dance," Uncle will dutifuly play Ruby D. and pony up the cash--even though the cupboards are dry and she's borrowing milk and sugar from her Chinese neighbor.

But these crackheads ain't your momma's crackheads. Those crackheads had humility. They'd beg you for money. They'd get out their squeegees and clean (well, dirty, really) your windows and earn the chump change you gave them to feed their habits.

No. They ain't Sammy L. in Jungle Fever. They ain't even Halle Berry or that ashy-skinned, crusty-lipped dope fiend in Menace II Society begging to fellate you so they could get their eyes. No. Those crackheads understood the value of a dollar, knew how hard you had to work to get that dollar, and were willing to get their knees dirty and put the work in to get that dollar from you.

No. These fools ain't got a humble bone in their bodies. They are not the down-on-their-luck, end-of-the-road dope fiend we knew in the '90s. These fools are Superfly, Ron O'Neal pimp-shit crackheads. They're all decked out in their gold-plated platform shoes, mink coats, and fur-lined fedoras. They ain't begging for that dollar. They're smashing bottles over Uncle's head, screaming, "Where my money at, bitch?!"

They ain't offering to suck nobody's dick. And you don't want them to, either, cause that $100,000 gold-and-diamond-encrusted grill they're sporting is razor-sharp, ready to turn you castrato singing their tune:

"Ay, Papi, please don't go
Don't you know we love you so
Ay, Papi!"

Just listen to the way Geithner, Congress, and Obama talk about these fools. Balls are missin', people!

Balls ... are ... missin'!

But it's not too late, yall. Congress, find your inner Warren G. and regulate. Tell GMAC, "Hell to the No!" If you have to, go all O-Dog on 'em (minus the blatant psychosis and homophobia, of course)--or better yet, give them some of that Ossie Davis, "wrath of God" tough love shit. While they're busy doing that Happy Dance before your eyes, pull out your whistle and put in some work. Lord knows, letting GMAC go down and a couple of bullets--named Glass and Steagall--in their asses should have thse fools in AA (Assholes Anonymous) in no time flat.

Déjà Vu All Over Again

2009-11-09T07:09:00.000-08:00

Last night, I took the opportunity to support a co-worker (I won't tell you which one because then you can break my blogger "code") and dove headlong into DC's underground hip-hop scene. I don't know how far talent gets you in this world, but Redhead (who loses points for calling me "sir" after the show--or should he gain points? hm...), Mathpanda, the Read a Book brutha (who is actually quite brilliant), and Arda Mus and Metaphysical have a bunch of it. But before the show, something really disturbed me.

Here, this is how I explained it to Mrs. Unknown when I got back:

"I know people have been griping that hip-hop is dead and that it's stagnant and nothing new and/or worthwhile is going on. I've been defending them and all, chalking it up to aging and sour grapes. But ... well ... I don't know ...

"I mean, I remember back in '94, when I used to go to joints like this back in Atlanta [Author's Note: Yes, Willow weep for me, I used to run the streets fifteen friggin' years ago. Argh]. We used to hear all the hottest shit of the day, Wu-Tang, Black Moon, Gang Starr, Nas..."

"Can I guess what you're going to say?" Mrs. Unknown asked.

"Sure, babe."

"That's what you were listening to tonight?"

"Exactly."

Your Uterus Is Not a Public Option

2009-11-07T14:37:00.001-08:00

The latest battleground in America's never-ending War of the Womb is now being fought over the public option provision in Congress's supposed health-care reform bill. As the Democrats' epic struggle to this legislation passed has now overtaken the Soviet Union's 1986 Five-Year Plan for 6th place in All-Time Examples of Political Ineptitude List, Democratic Congressman Bart Stupak has added an amendment to the bill that "would prevent federal subsidies from going to any insurance plans that cover abortion." According to The Hill, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops are head-over-heels over the amendment and the Republicans are even supporting it.

Some had thought the GOP would torpedo the amendment to make the final bill unacceptable to pro-life Democrats in the hopes that they would torpedo it. Last month, Stupak threatened to kill the bill himself if he didn't get to add his stand-alone amendment.

Douglas Johnson, the legislative director of the National Right to Life Committee, has seriously amped up the rhetoric, telling Lifenews.com:

"This will be one of the most important roll call votes that U.S. House members ever casts on a pro-life issue. Any lawmaker who votes against the Stupak-Pitts Amendment is, in effect, voting in favor of establishing a federal government program that will directly fund abortion on demand, with federal funds."

And how are Planned Parenthood and NARAL fighting back against this last-minute chicanery? Well, they're not, really.

Instead, Planned Parenthood has gone all passive-aggressive and are currently holding a campaign for donations in Bart Stupak's name. So, you can donate here in the Bartster's name and ask PP to send a thank-you card to the man.

Yeah. That'll show 'em. I guess if Stupak and Crew decided to outlaw abortion throughout the country, NARAL would send them a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates!

Now, Stupak actually is a pro-life Democrat, so his motives aren't as duplicitous and/or morally bankrupt and driven by personal and campaign contributions like his fellow anti-public option Dems, Mike Ross and Max Baucus. But it is interesting to see that AFLAC, Blue Cross Blue Shield, and Humana are among his top campaign contributors and that health professionals gave this Blue Dog $103,688 during the last campaign cycle.

No never mind. It doesn't really matter whether Stupak's amendment is due to a principled attempt to provide federally-funded abortions or a capitalized attempt to kill health care legislation for his powerful donors. What does matter is that, once again, the Dems have proven that, even when given overwhelming majorities with which to govern, we can count on them to accept defeat at the drop of a hat, to sabotage their own efforts, and to never govern using Democratic principles.

The Song I Can't Get out of My Head This Morning

2009-11-07T07:21:00.000-08:00

Way to Go, Buccos!!!

2009-11-04T21:03:00.001-08:00

I've just finished watching the thirtieth World Series in which you have not appeared. And I just thought yinz--as an organization--as the Pittsburgh Pirates of Willie Stargell, Big and Lil' Poison, Roberto Clemente, and Honus Wagner fame--deserved a big, fat round of applause!!!

I mean, thirty friggin' years of futility! You have got to deliberately go out of your way to pull that off. I mean, you couldn't have accidentally slipped and fell into the World Series.

Think about it! Thirty years!

The last time the Pittsburgh Pirates--the Pittsburgh Pirates of Willie Stargell, Big and Lil' Poison, Roberto Clemente, and Honus Wagner fame--went to and won the World Series, a group of doe-eyed, scruffy-faced college students rushed into the American embassy and took a whole bunch of Americans hostages--bringing a superpower to its knees and causing an American president to lose an election. Did you know one of those students is now the president of his country?

Yeah ... this guy.

Seriously, take a look at him. Sure, he's still scruffy-faced (and, well, a bit cross-eyed), but he sure as hell ain't no student no more. Those youthful days are far behind this guy.

And these guys, too.

Those are the 1979 Pirates today!!!

And as old and fat as these guys are, I still bet they'd beat the 2009 Pirates in a best-of-seven series!!!

Did you know the Soviets ...

No, no, no ... not the Soviettes. The Soviets invaded Afghanistan in 1979--forever showing empires that they should never invade that place. Thank God we all learned that lesson.

Well, I just learned that Flo was the #6 show of 1979!

Do you think that's where Flo Rida got his name?

Well, you think on that awhile. Meanwhile, why don't you listen to the #53 song of 1979--the song that the 1979 Pirates took as their theme song?

Do you know who else had hit songs in 1979?

Cheap Trick, Peaches and Herb, Village People, Electric friggin' Light Orchestra, Leif Garrett!!!, Gino Vannelli, and Randy VanWarmer!!!

When was the last time you heard anything from these people?

Oh yeah ... I guess the last time I heard anything from you ....

1979!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And who the fuck was Randy VanWarmer?!!!

Oh ... wow ... geez ...

Well then ... what the fuck were yinz takin' back in '79?!!!

Oh yeah ... World Series rings.

But not since. Nope. Not you, Buccos!

Oh sure, you flirted with the idea back in '90, '91, and '92--before this douchebag decided to sue his wife for alimony and take steroids!!!

Seriously, Barry, couldn't you have taken the syringe, bulked up, unclenched your sphincter and de-choke-ified your larynx and given us at least one World Series before you left Pittsburgh?

But no. You choked and left, forever dashing our hopes. After 1979, we had to suffer the abysmal Johnny Ray '80s. We had a little hope with Bonds, Bonilla, and Van Sylke in the late '80s/early '90s. But since 1992, we Pirates fans have not only not seen the World Series nor even the playoffs, we haven't even seen a fucking winning season, you FUCOPs!!!

That's 17 years!!!

1992!!!

Bill Clinton had just been George H.W. Bush for the White House! Ross Perot and "fuzzy math" were all the rage! People actually thought Dana Carvey was funny!!!

Black folks wore X hats! White folks kept talking about The Crying Game! Boyz II Men had the #1 song of the year with "End of the Road" (cough, gag, vomit all over the keyboard, wipe off, finish up rant)!!!!

Hell, this time seventeen years ago, in 1992, Barry Bonds was about to leave the Pirates forever and Dr. Dre was about to drop The Chronic.

Pittsburgh baseball and hip-hop have never been the same since.

Poor Deeds -- The Creigh Don't Rise

2009-11-03T07:15:00.000-08:00

Poor Creigh Deeds,

I know you've done all you could to win Virginia's governorship. You pulled off the surprise primary victory against Brian Moran and that corksucker Terry McAuliffe. You've rubbed elbows with the ultimate Virginia King Maker, Poohbutt. You've tried to ride Obama's coat tails while he was popular--tried cutting them off when his poll numbers dropped--and then begged to mend those britches since your own poll numbers remained down. You've apparently even hucked it up twice with yours truly (or so I've been told--I really and truly don't remember--talk about self-importance!).

The biggest gift would seem to be the fact that your Republican opponent, Bob McDonnell, is a Pat Robertson rightwing nutjob who once hated (hates?) working women, homosexuals, and "fornicators" and wants to convert the Taliban to Christ--not to mend the errors of their ways but to improve their efficiency (OK, I made that one up).

Unfortunately for Deeds, Democrats, and all us political junkies, Virginia always votes against the White House. If there's a Republican in the White House, there'll be a Democrat in Richmond and vice versa. It's been that way since WWII, or some craziness like that. There ain't nothin' you can do about it, Creigh.

The same goes for Gov. Corzine over in Jersey. Apparently, Virginians and New Jersey--ites?, oddly enough, have been voting in tandem since 1989 and have voted against the White House each time.

You're just a victim of history, Creigh. There was nothing you could do. Unfortunately for the rest of us, we're going to be victims of the punditocracy. They're going to conveniently forget the history behind these off-year elections and fill our mediated existences with "What does this mean for Obama?"

It don't mean shit. It's just history playing itself out. Of course, it won't stop the soap opera, duh-duh-DAHH!!! weepy-eyed, slavering-jawed reporting talking about the "referendum on Obama," how "Obama is really struggling with his message," and "Obama's agenda is really in trouble." At least the melodrama will be a nice prelude for when the Dems lose a bunch of House and Senate seats next year in the mid-terms--as the party in power always does in the midterms (the noted exception being the Bush Babee in '03).

Ya know, in a way, I feel sorrier for the rest of us than I do Creigh Deeds. I mean, yeah, it's gonna be a blow to the ego to lose a governor's race--especially to a guy who beat you by, like, one vote for the Lieutenant Governor seat a few years back. But at least Deeds is a victim of history. Whether the pundits remember that or not, they'll either blame historical trends or an "anti-Obama wave." They'll never blame Deeds himself. He'll ultimately be able to deflect blame for his failure. But the rest of us are gonna have to listen to the bullshit for years to come--until The Big Brother is re-elected in '12.

All FUCOPs Must Die

2009-10-30T06:49:00.001-07:00

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS INAPPROPRIATE AND OFFENSIVE WORDING THAT EVEN THE AUTHOR IS OFTEN LOATHE TO USE--BUT HE WAS SO "FLUSTRATED" HE COULDN'T SEE ANY OTHER ALTERNATIVE.

Most of you don't know this, but I work for a company that produces audio books for the blind for good ole Uncle Sam. It's a government program (which the Republicans were trying to cut a couple years back) that allows anyone in the country who is legally blind and/or physically unable to turn pages to receive a machine and check out audio books from any local library around the country. These are different from the audio books you get when you're on your lonely car trips. These are verbatim and unabridged and can range from your typical best seller to any genre book to nonfiction, histories, and medical texts concerning blindness, diabetes, etc.

I don't narrate these books myself. I review them--making sure there are no technical errors and that the narrator is coherent and correct and consistent. We reviewers sometimes move heaven and earth to make sure something has the correct pronunciation. We also make sure that the narrator is consistent with their pronunciation. There may be five different ways to pronounce a single word, but the narrator must choose one and stick with it the entire book.

It's not just about "pride in one's work." If the narrator is not coherent, correct, and consistent, the Guvmint might reject the book; and we'd have to go back and correct the errors. Sometimes, we even have to re-record the entire book. As an example of what a stickler Uncle can be, I once had a book rejected because the narrator pronounced the LA road, La Cienega, the Spanish way instead of the LA way. I knew the difference. I stay with my aunt on La Cienega when I go out to LA. But I thought that since the narrator was technically correct, I'd let it pass. The kicker was "La Cienega" only appeared once in the entire 450-page book (I know, I had to go back and scan the entire thing myself).

However, Uncle can be capricious. He can zap you for one word, or he can let HUGE mistakes run through an entire book and never catch it.

This inconsistency makes us reviewers even more the sticklers because you just never know. This doesn't hold true for a lot of the narrators, though. The better ones are sticklers, too. And, believe it or not, there have been heated arguments over the pronunciation of words that you wouldn't believe. One time, I thought I was going to get socked in the face over the word "Devereux."

But that only applies to the better narrators. I once heard about a study of workplace competence. It appears that the most competent people in any workplace are the ones who fret over their competence the most. The utter fuck-ups think they're the cock on the walk and can't be told shit. You can definitely see that rule in effect here when it comes to the narrators. It's the absolute idiots you can't correct, who will refuse to make corrections no matter how grievous, and who get morally outraged when you tell them they're wrong.

Such a person is exactly what I've been dealing with all week.

I am currently reviewing a book about a recent Supreme Court decision (I don't want to be too specific here--I don't want to get the book rejected). The lead attorney in the case has a foreign name which the narrator has repeatedly butchered throughout the book's entire 317 pages. And he is such a maestro with the cleaver, that he decided to butcher the name TWO DIFFERENT WAYS!!!

The FIRST pronunciation was so bad, I went searching for the guy's name and found it instantly on YouTube. Apparently, this attorney is also a legal scholar and is becoming less and less obscure every day. He has been on more than news show as a talking head.

This is a huge red flag for us. If Uncle can find the name really quickly, we know we have to change it.

I informed M. Talènt, and, of course, he got pissed. His first claim was that he called where this guy teaches and talked to him. When I said the guy's all over YouTube, M. Talènt then claimed that he got the pronunciation for the guy's voice mail. After I emailed The Guy and got his name's pronunciation directly from him, M. Talènt finally admitted that it was The Guy's assistant on the voice mail.

But none of that friggin' mattered. M. Talènt refuses to change the name. He is right (though horrifically wrong), and there's nothing I can do about it. Rejection be damned! And I can basically shove my need to do this correctly up my shit-eye!

Indignantly, I asked him which incorrect pronunciation he wanted to use for the book, since he pronounced it incorrectly several different ways. Missing my indignation (his was too loud to hear mine), he actually did choose.

So, for the past few days, I've been marking down each time he says The Guy's name. Mind you, The Guy was the lead attorney in this book about a legal case. In most of the book, his name appears 5-10 times per page. Each side recorded is about 88 minutes long. It usually takes me 1 1/2-2 hours to review each side. This is taking me about 3 1/2 hours each side. There are times when I have to stop three times per recorded minute to mark down M. Talènt's mispronunciation only to have him "correct" it to his preferred mispronunciation!

I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome marking down page after page after page of "corrections" this whole time, fuming in the fact that this book will probably get rejected and dreading the fact that Uncle may very well not reject this book, further encouraging M. Talènt to continue his asshole-ish ways!!!

Finally having enough, I cursed to myself, "This festering unwashed cunt of putrefaction must die!!!"

Then I started ranting about all the other FUCOPs who've been pissing me off lately. The banks for taking my tax money and for refusing that fixer-upper wanted to take off their hands--just letting that could-be beautiful house rot! Dick Cheney for his constantly popping up like a herpes-laden jackass-in-a-box, criticizing Obama as though ~~his~~ the Bush administration didn't drop us headfirst into this clusterfuck our country's in. And Joe Lieberman for threatening to filibuster public-option legislation.

I'd like to get M. Talènt and all these other FUCOPs in a room and see just how good their health care is.

Keep It PA, Phils

2009-10-28T17:09:00.001-07:00

It's hard for us Pittsburghers to keep up our end of the bargain--what without our having neither a professional basketball nor baseball team. What? ... What was that? ... Who? ... Seriously ... since when? ... No shit. The Pirates! ... I thought they were a farm club.

Anyway ... apparently we Pittsburghers do have a baseball club. Aside from that, though, we've been doing a pretty good job of late, giving our beloved Keystone State the Super Bowl and Stanley Cup this year. Now, you have us the World Series last year, but you have got to repeat!

The fate of the free world depends on it! The Yankees are evil and represent all that is wrong with the world. You gotta win!

YOU JUST GOTTA!!!!

DAMN YANKEES!!!

WILT: What I'm Listening To, Vol. 1

2009-10-27T18:05:00.000-07:00

All right, in 2009 I suffered from an affliction that can only be described as "musical bulimia," having gone months starving myself of new music only to binge to the point of near death--or at least, financial collapse. Ever since we've been to Canada, I've been on a music-buying binge that (if Missus Unknown found out) would surely be the death of me. So, here's what I've been listening to these past four weeks in no particular order. I hope you enjoy it while you can. I won't be indulging this lunacy again anytime soon.

The Temptations -- Puzzle People

All right, I have a confession to make, and I hope you don't judge me too harshly for having actually said this but ... but ... well, to be honest, I'm not much of a Motown fan. Yes. All the music was great. Yes. Barry Gordy was a genius. Yes. All those groups and their music will live for all time.

I just wasn't that into it. Motown was always my folks music--"old folks music." I give the Motown Sound its propers, even today. I don't know. I guess I just like Stax better.

As part of that whole thing, I was never really into the Temptations either. They always signaled the end of the basement party and it was time for me to wake up and get my pajamaed behind in the car. All the old folks were going home. And talk about corny ... I once saw the Temptations perform at Sea World!

However, nobody ever told me about the Temptations and their "psychedelic funk" experiments they conducted in the late '60s/early '70s with Cloud Nine, Puzzle People, and Psychedelic Shack (are there others?). Now I have some newfound respect for the geezers.

The funk on Puzzle People is rough and rugged like the first few Sly and the Family Stone albums and a lot of fun. Sure, they never should've covered the Beatles' "Hey, Jude," but their cover of the Isleys' "It's Your Thing" is pretty nice. There's the classic, "I Can't Get Next to You," my second-favorite Temps' song (the first being "I Wish It Would Rain"), "Message from a Black Man," and a real ass-shaker in "Don't Let the Joneses Get You Down."

Lawd hab mercy!!!

The Heavy -- The House That Dirt Built

Whee dogey!!! I got this bad boy in the mail yesterday and have been pretty much listening to it solely ever since. I went absolutely ape-shit over their hard-driving, funky-ass debut, Great Vengeance & Furious Fire. This is more of the same--though less funky with a harder rock edge--and they're a little more imitative than you'd expect from their debut. But this is definitely no sophomore jinx. You must needs check out this CD.

Passion Pit -- Manners

Man, I wish I would've liked pop/rock sooner. Then, while I'd been a music critic, I could have all the references and snarky, hip lingo down to describe bands like these. Aside from telling you that I absolutely love this CD, I'm really and truly at a loss for words. The best I can do is cut and paste what I wrote Sammy about them on Facebook:

I don't know exactly how to describe them. Maybe something like--2Gs electro-rockers with a taste for late '80s dance music and a dash of the Beach Boys. Something along those lines. Maybe.

Q-Tip -- The Renaissance

I was gettin' all into this album, diggin' all the smooth grooves and crisp beats, refreshed that I can pretty much play this one around Pooh without worrying about her calling her classmates "nigga" all day, when Triple T, whose damn near half my age, burst my bubble. She was ranting what bullshit! this album was. I wasn't like, "Aw, kid, you don't know nothin' 'bout no good music," because I know it's not true. Then it suddenly hit me, "Oh my God, is this the opening salvo for 'Old Folks' Rap'? Are there soon gonna be 'Smooth Rap Flavas' radio stations? I can hear it now ... Now homeyz and homettez let's relax our minds and let our bodies be free and get down to the sounds of Digables, De La, and the Fugees."

Shit!

Various Artists -- Bridge into the New Age

This compilation should be renamed Afro-Hippy's Delight. This is a collection of Prestige releases from the early '70s with artists who were influenced by Miles, Trane, and the Black Power movement. McCoy Tyner, Alice Coltrane, Gary Bartz, Norman Connors, Joe Henderson, Jack DeJohnette, and Idris Muhammad. If there's one disc in this whole list I strongly urge you to get, it is most definitely this one.

Dave Pike -- The Doors of Perception

Vibraphonist Dave Pike is a fan favorite among dancefloor jazz crate diggers the world over. Only the first song is as far-out psychedelic as the album's title and cover would have you believe. Mostly it's the groovy vibes one would expect from a genre posthumously labeled "dancefloor jazz."

Various Artists -- Cold Heat

If you like your funk as hard and fast and as nasty as a Pamela Anderson sex bout, then this disc is for you. As the subtitle says, "Heavy Funk Rarities -- 1968-1974." Most of you would probably have never heard of any of these people. But for one brief, shining, recorded moment, they were some of the funkiest cats to ever be put on wax. You fans of the Budos Band, Sugarman 3, Poets of Rhythm, and/or Sharon Jones really need to check this one out.

Quincy Jones and His Orchestra -- The Quintessence

Well, as many of you know, Impulse Records is the "house that Trane built," featuring a lot of the experimental jazz that exploded onto the scene in the late '60s/early '70s. So, when I saw that Quincy Jones actually recorded an Impulse release, I was intrigued. I wasn't expecting (nor would I have wanted) some heroin-induced free jazz. But I know Q did a semi-funky release for CTI back in the day. I was wondered what he concocted for Impulse. Nothing far out at all. It's Quincy Jones, after all. And being Quincy, it's good.

Chakachas -- Jungle Fever

If you scour the internet for Belgian funk (and why the hell would you?), the closest you'll come is the Chakachas. So, when my wife went to Belgium last year, I had her look for some of their stuff. They apparently looked at her like she was some kind of crazy American. As well they should've, the Chakachas were just a bunch of middle-aged, married Belgian guys who cut an album of funky Latin grooves and then vanished into obscurity. If it weren't for their uber-funky international hit, "Jungle Fever," this disc probably never would've been released. Aside from that masterpiece, though, the album's worth a listen. It's boogaloo fun!

Traffic -- John Barleycorn Must Die

Well, I always hated Steve Winwood--master of schlocky '80s "blue-eyed soul". But I also hated his twin, Robert Palmer. Then I heard Palmer's Sneakin' Sally through the Alley and had to give the man his due. When I was browsing through the CD shop, heard the first two rock-jazzy songs on this CD and found out it was Traffic, I thought I might have to do the same for Winwood. After all, I do love "I'm a Man." Alas, I was wrong. I'm not at all a fan of the last four tracks on this album. Needless to say, I was disappointed and felt more than a little betrayed.

K'Naan - Troubadour

Speaking of feeling betrayed, a dear friend who shall remain nameless who, oddly enough, is not Nameless, has been absolutely raving over this brother for millennia. I bought this disc on the power of her rantings alone. Boy, I don't know if I'll ever listen to the woman again. Actually, I don't know if we can actually remain friends. I mean ... Mrs. Unknown summed up our disappointment somewhere in the middle of Troubadour, when she asked, "Did this suddenly turn into a pop album?"

Gilles Peterson -- Digs America 2

This compilation is subtitled, "Searching at the End of an Era." There is something to that. Crate digging is becoming a harder and harder obsession to satisfy. And how many more of these crate-digging expedition compilations can there possibly be for the funk/jazz/soul junky? But all of us know that Gilles Peterson is the best at this game, and this disc does not disappoint. I mean, who else could find a song done by Chuck Mangione's brother? He's also got an obscure Al Jurreau on here. And you'll simply love Irene Kral's "Going to California".

Plasticines -- LP1

One of my side CD-buying projects is to actually purchase hard copies of discs that I may or may not have come across in their digital form. This may or may not have been bought with that in mind. Besides, I love these French femmes (and Go Betty Go's) jaunty, pop "post-punk" sound. They're a lot of fun to listen to, and every once in awhile I understand a word or two of what they're singing--when they're singing in English, that is.

Wayne Shorter -- Super Nova

I'll confess: it's been a real long time since I've listened to music I've really had to think about. This one's going to take awhile for me to digest. I just couldn't resist the line-up here with John McLaughlin, Jack DeJohnette, Airto Moreira, and Chick Corea on drums and vibes?!

The Mar-Keys -- The Great Memphis Sound

I love me some funk! I love me some Stax! So this CD from the Stax session band is like having your hog maws and chitterlings, too! And no, I will not compare them to Booker T. and the MGs' sweet cornbread soul. They're all delicious.

David Axelrod -- The Axelrod Chronicles

David Axelrod has been the source of many a great sample (just ask Madlib, Mos Def, the Beatnuts, Rob Swift, Sadat X, Kool G, De La--you get the idea) and not a single one of them was found on this CD. This collection is a bit too post-Mr. Magic fusion-y for my tastes, but there are a few really funky tracks. I'll give it a few more listens. I am trying to branch out these days.

R.E.M. -- Murmur

When I came across this CD, I thought, "Oh hey, I used to like R.E.M. in high school. Maybe I should get this." As soon as I popped this bad boy into the CD player, I realized, "Oh yeah, I didn't like Mumur. I liked Reckoning, Fables of the Reconstruction, Life's Rich Pageant, and Document." Oh well, what can you do?

Dmitri from Paris -- Sacrebleu

My boy Jet has been screaming about Dmitri from Paris for the past year or so now. I've always been meaning to check him--or at least his Playboy Mansion series out forever--but have just never gotten around to it. I stumbled across Sacrebleu and figured I'd give it a try. This CD is most definitely Bossarific. It's interesting, since lounge's ubiquity has come and gone, to hear where it basically came from. Still breezy and chill and a great album to listen to. After all, how derivative can you sound when you were the first?

Santana -- Amigos

Just got it. So haven't heard it yet. But this is '70s Santana--before he went totally for the queso--it's gotta be good, right?

Outkast -- Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik

Every collection--no matter how obnoxious (and mine is obnoxious) has holes in it. I was just filling one with this purchase. I doubt if I'll be listening to this one too much. But it never hurts to have it.

Oh No -- Exodus into Unheard Rhythms

Oh no! I thought you was Madlib and "Oh No" was just another one of his pseudonyms. But no! you're his little brother. You ai'ight, though. I guess I'll have to give you a few more listens before I pass judgment--though I gotta tell ya, I am a little disappointed.

The Reggae Philharmonic Orchestra -- The Reggae Philharmonic Orchestra

Yeah, remember those two mysterious, Milli Vanilli-dread-lookin' violin-playin' androgyns on Soul II Soul's "Keep on Movin'"? That was the Reggae Philharmonic Orchestra. I remembered liking this back when it came out in '88, saw it in the store, and said, What the hey? Well, the "Hey" in this matter is that The Reggae Philharmonic Orchestra is now like the Meg Ryan of my music collection: Cute in the '80s but most definitely has not aged well.

Fever Ray -- Fever Ray

Another attempt to branch out. They said something like "Karin Dreijer Andersson, Fever Ray, a singer for The Knife ..." And I said, "All right! I have no fucking clue what you're talking about! Give me two!" The CD just came in the mail on Saturday. So, I haven't had much of a chance to listen to it yet. So far, though, she gives me sort of a Björky/Kate Bushy/Laurie Andersonish feel--which probably means I'll fall in love with it and my wife will curse the day I ever heard of Fever Ray.

Peepee in the Potty!!!

2009-10-26T17:31:00.001-07:00

"I peepee in the potty, Daddy."

--Poohbutt, 10/26/09

Since we're about to move and subsequently switch daycares, Mommy and Daddy have decided to delay toilet training our little Pooh. However, our daughter did get a potty for her birthday. So, for the past nine days, Pooh has come home, shouted, "Peepee in the potty," ripped off her pants and diaper, and proceeded to sit on the potty for hours at a time--or so it felt. She's been conducting almost all her evening business on that damned potty--eating, drinking, watching Krtek--everything except the business that the potty was designed for--leaving it as dry as the day we bought it.

That has all changed tonight!

Mommy and Pooh called Daddy at work to tell him the good news.

How proud can one Papa be?

Before you know it, we'll be having to give her a new nickname!

Stop Yer Bitchin'--You Lost!!!

2009-10-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

Last night at work, while still basking in the afterglow of the Steelers' glorious victory over the Vikings, I ran across this article, Vikings Gave This One Away, in the Minneapolis Star Tribune. The writer, Sid Hartman, claims that the Purple Poopy Eaters (Poohbutt's term--not mine) could've won the game if it hadn't been for their numerous errors. Well, duh.

The Vikes did commit a lot of penalties and did lose two turnovers at the end of the game that the defense converted into touchdowns. But they did not "give" the game away. It's a nice premise--one all us fans rely on--but it simply did not happen. In fact, I would argue that it never does.

In that same game, the Steelers also made errors that could've cost them the game. Kicker Jeff Reed decided to poussé push returner Percy Harvin, allowing the much bigger, stronger man to scamper 88 yards to the end zone, and Rashard Mendenhall fumbled on the Vikings three yard-line when the Steelers were marching to put the game away.

The point being, good teams not only make errors during games, but they also cause their opponents to make errors themselves. Brett Favre fumbled the ball because he was stripped of the ball. He threw the game-winning interception because the pass rush made him rush his own pass, Chester Taylor wasn't ready, the ball bounced out of his hands into Keyaron Fox's, who rumbled into the end zone.

These "errors" were forced errors created by a good team. They weren't given, they were taken. Much like hard work can create good luck, "errors" are created by good teams. That's what makes them good. That's what makes them winners. The Vikings didn't give the game away. It was taken from them.

Hartman's "analysis" was annoying enough, but what really got my goat was the comments section, where the Vikings loyalists proceeded to whip the biggest scapegoat in all of sports: the refs.

Now look, every time one's team loses, the first blame almost always goes to the referees. We fans generally just can't believe our team lost--can't fathom that they might just actually suck and got what they deserve. So, we are always pointing to the refs as the key difference. We fans are like any other delusional psychotic--we would all succeed if the world just weren't against us. That world being the men (and one day women) in the zebra outfits.

It is true that the Vikings' being called for defensive delay of game was about as confounding as interpretive dance, and the tripping call that negated that Vikings' TD was specious at best. But these Vikings fans chose to forget that the Steelers also had a TD called back on an offensive pass interference call on Heath Miller who was chucked into another defensive player on the other side of the field from where the TD pass was thrown!

Those negated touchdowns were both bad calls. In fact, they actually negated each other--which rarely happens in sports. It wasn't the refs' fault that the former led to a Vikings' turnover and Steelers TD and the latter resulted in a Steelers' field goal.

Bad calls are a part of the game. So are good calls. As well as no-calls. It is hard to believe that, with 22 testosterone- and adrenaline-charged pituitary cases charging and crashing into each other, there isn't a penalty occurring on every, single play. Whether they're called or not shouldn't matter. A team's charge is to win the game--no matter what the referees are doing.

Look, we NFL fans are lucky that our refereeing isn't as horrid as the NBA's--where a foul is only called if a player doesn't have enough outside endorsements. Allen Iverson's dribbling motion is the exact motion for the carrying call. Yet, he has probably never been called for palming the ball, which he does every damned time he touches the ball. Last year, I watched LeBron James pick up the ball and take three, friggin' steps to slam the ball home (for those who don't know, you're only allowed one and a half). Centers used to be called for fouls for having their faces impede the progress of Shaq's elbow every time he went up to dunk.

Last year, I briefly tried watching the Lakers/Nuggets playoffs. Then I saw three defenders get out of Kobe's way and let him drive the lane in order to avoid the inevitable foul (I guess he inherited the benefits of the "thinking-about-fouling-Jordan" foul). The last time I checked, unless the guy hits a home run, your job as a defender is to stop a ~~rapist~~ bastard from scoring! When the announcers started screaming orgasmic about what a phenomenal athlete Kobe was, I turned the TV off in disgust. Shit, even I can score if the other team lets me.

We football fans don't have to put up with such bullshit. And neither do NFL players. Sure, they get bad calls against them, but they also get good ones that benefit them. And they probably don't get called for half the crap they pull on the field.

I'm not a referee apologist, but it's not as though these guys have an easy job chasing all these genetic freaks around on the field. Then they've got the fans, announcers, sports "pundits" (how the hell do you get that job?), and instant replay second-guessing their every move. Of course, they're gonna make mistakes. They're human. But stop acting like making a phantom call is the same as invading a country for their phantom WMD!

Teams know what they're getting into whenever they enter any game. They know that referees can blow calls. They're job is to win no matter. It doesn't matter to them. It shouldn't matter to us. We fans--all of us--need to get over our "Magic Bullet" referee conspiracy theories and just realize our teams generally lose because they faced a better team.

Of course, I'm probably just saying this because my team won yesterday. And back in February, my team won the Super Bowl. Oh yeah, and in my lifetime, they have won six of them bad boys.

So, actually, what I guess I'm just saying is ...

SUCK IT!!!

The Eric Holder Song of the Week

2009-10-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

MARION BARRY FOR PRESIDENT 2016!!!