If you’re unhappy at work–or anywhere else, for that matter–it’s because you’ve made yourself unhappy. There’s an easy way to change that.

– “How to Be Happy at Work” by Geoffrey James

Oh boy. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, let’s keep going.

[A] saleswoman once told me: When you’re unhappy, it’s because you’ve decided to be unhappy.

Maybe it wasn’t a conscious decision; maybe it crept up on you while you weren’t looking–but it was a decision nonetheless. And that’s good news, because you can decide instead to be happy. You just need to understand how and why you make the decisions.

(emphasis mine)

[via]

The article goes on to elaborate on a few simple rules you can use to essentially “snap out of it”. So let me get this straight. Your unhappiness is directly a result of your own decisions, whether you know it or not, and all you have to do to “snap out of it” is to essentially think harder.

I don’t often swear, and I almost never do so online, so let me say this very clearly: fuck you, Mr. James.

Certainly there are things in life that we do to ourselves that lead to our own unhappiness.

• We can take or stay in jobs we dislike (usually if not always out of necessity).
• We can stay in relationships that aren’t healthy for us.
• We can make plenty of poor decisions that ultimately make us unhappy with ourselves (gaining weight, etc).

And yes, I agree with the premise that sometimes such things can be fixed by essentially trying harder.

• We can quit jobs we hate – if you’re financially able to survive without a steady income in an unpredictable economic climate.
• We can leave relationships – if you’re prepared to deal with the emotional ride that involves, not even counting the possibility of family or financial disruption.
• We can diet and exercise to drop excess weight – if you’re physically able and have the means to eat properly.

But other things aren’t so neatly within our realm of control. We can’t always make people stop harassing us. We can’t always control other people’s behaviors. And we can’t always alter our personality or brain chemistry to just be happier. Some of us just aren’t wired that way. Depression is a very serious and very real disorder, and it’s finally starting to lose some of the stigma associated with it.

Related:
“The Fight Goes On” by Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess;
“Adventures in Depression” by Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half.

So, Geoff—can I call you Geoff? Great—while I understand your article was probably meant to be a snappy feel-good write-up on the power of positive thinking and how you too can achieve your dreams, the rest of us would like to request that you perhaps leave the discussions of mental health to those actually qualified to contribute.

Telling people that unhappiness is something they can essentially “snap out of” is like telling them their mangled hand is all in their head.

Zach Weinersmith has a great post today about the apparent dichotomy of labels like “atheist” vs “agnostic”:

I felt the need to oppose this simple dichotomy that people seem to believe in. “Do you believe in God” is not actually a question at all, so it doesn’t warrant a system of nomenclature being defined around it. Thus the question should not be “Do you believe in God?” It should be “Which gods do you believe in?”

I like to say that it would surprise me less to discover there was a creator god than to discover astrology is true. That is, to find out there is some sort of deity with certain parameters doesn’t seem impossible to me.

“On Agnosticism vs. Atheism” by Zack Weinersmith

Personally, ‘agnostic’ has been a convenient label; people tend to understand it without the need to go into a ten-minute discussion defining your stance.

I believe it’s possible for a deity to exist, though perhaps unlikely. It seems more likely that there exists some sort of being with abilities beyond our current understanding of the universe. Such a being would easily be taken for a god by lesser species; sort of an equivalent of Clarke’s Third Law:

Any sufficiently advanced [consciousness] is indistinguishable from [a god].

Dogs presumably have no understanding of electrons, sound waves or circuitboards, so when you turn on the lights by clapping, certainly you appear to have godlike powers. To you it’s a simple act, to the dog it’s supernatural.

Zack’s comment about “a deity with certain parameters” is what really caught me. Is there any real difference between a god and a being with “powers” beyond our understanding?

Goodreads just recently gave up on using Amazon for its data source, but I wanted a dead-simple way to switch between the two sites for any given book I’m viewing. There didn’t seem to be anything out there, so I quickly threw together a javascript bookmarklet to switch between Amazon and Goodreads.

Just drag this button to your bookmarks toolbar: Switch Amazon/Goodreads

It’s certainly not perfect or even efficient, but it does the job for me so I wanted to share. I put it in a public gist on GitHub, so please feel free to improve it as you see fit.

Earlier this month, Google launched an optional feature called “Search plus your world.” It integrates personalized content from social networks into Google search results.

Only, search plus your world doesn’t include any content from Twitter, Facebook, or MySpace – the biggest social networks out there.

It does, however, include lots of content from Google’s social network, Google Plus.

Some engineers at Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace think this is unfair to users – and to demonstrate why, they’ve created a modified version of Google, which you can access on a site called Focusontheuser.org.

– “Facebook Engineers Built A Way Better Version Of Google“

Except that’s completely misleading. They didn’t build a better version of Google. They built a Javascript bookmarklet that takes Google’s own SERPs and modifies them to swap in somewhat different (and hopefully more relevant) results than Google serves by default.

That may be a semantic difference, but it’s an important distinction. They didn’t create a brand new search engine, they created a way to take Google’s own inconsistent search behavior and combine them into a better end result, assuming that you the user choose to drag their bookmarklet into place and then remember to use it once you’ve already done a Google search.

Maybe no one is actually confused by this difference, but it seems irresponsible for news sites to be reporting it this way.

Don’t vote for or against this bill because of your political views. Vote against this bill because, with all due respect, and for lack of a better phrase, it’s none of your business.

Your duty, as a representative to the people, is to give voice to your people, not lobbyists and interest groups. Represent me, your constituent. Represent your other constituents. Vote against the restriction of liberty, because that is the very essence of your elected position.

– @sawaboof: “A Letter to My Representatives“

*slow clap*

Here I am on vacation in the Northwoods writing this blog. I will be on vacation all week and will check my email every day – several times. I will log in to check on client campaigns and meet deadlines that could probably wait a few days. I am not an on-call rescue person, I work in advertising. But we have been conditioned to be connected all the time. What if I miss something?

– Can you “check out”?

My rule is very simple: if I’m not in the office, I’m not working. Obvious exceptions apply: those days when I’m just sick enough to stay home rather than infecting everyone else but not sick enough to be bedridden, days when last night’s blizzard buried my car in three feet of snow, and so on. But otherwise: no office, no work.

When I leave at the end of the day, my work laptop gets turned off and put in its bag. I don’t have a corporate-issue cellphone, so there’s nothing to persistently ding with each incoming email. The laptop doesn’t come out of its bag until the next workday morning. Once I’m across the front lobby threshold and into the parking lot, it’s me time.

However… I recognize that there will occasionally be instances where something needs to get done outside of business hours. If that happens, someone has to contact me directly. There needs to be a phone call, or a text message, or – depending on who’s asking – a Twitter mention or message. It needs to be initiated by someone from work; I won’t be actively looking for something.

It’s simple, but actually quite effective. My boss is well aware of this policy – it was made quite clear my first day on the job. If you really need me to do something, no problem, but it’s not happening unless you get in touch directly. I’m checked out otherwise.

The US Postal Office is not responsible for verifying the legality of what people put into the packages they ship, so why should the Web?

Imagine if a SOPA-like bill was passed for the physical world rather than the web.

Let’s say someone sends an illegal item (drugs, weapons-grade uranium, kittens) through UPS. You’re not supposed to, but it probably happens all the time.

Someone discovers this tragic misdeed and files a complaint. Or, potentially, someone makes a mistake and thinks you shipped something illegally. They file the complaint anyway.

The government confiscates all the UPS vehicles, seizes the distribution centers and blocks all traffic to the buildings. After all that’s settled, the CEO is sent a letter announcing that someone filed a complaint, their business has been destroyed, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

That’s what SOPA will do to the internet.

Edit: Chris (@cammerman) makes an important point:

@baekdal @tomhenrich Well one crucial difference is that the USPS can only deliver 1 package to 1 person. 1 web page can go to 7 billions.

— Chris Ammerman (@cammerman) January 9, 2012

It’s true that the scale is monumentally different, but I think the analogy can still hold up, especially when you consider @baekdal’s original question.

Less complaining

We as a people complain a lot. Admit it. Even during Christmas, heavily marketed as the season of giving and good cheer, there was no shortage of complaining about what people got versus what they wanted.

2012 needs to be a year of less time spent bemoaning our own first world problems and more time spent enjoying what we are fortunate enough to have:

• friends
• family
• food
• clean water
• shelter

The 99% in America are still the 1% to much of the rest of the world; it would do us well to keep that in mind.

Less spending

We’re currently in the midst of one of the worst recessions ever, and no one seems to be able to agree on whether it’s getting better or worse. Unemployment is at its highest in decades. Many people and families are struggling to get by on wages too low for the endlessly rising cost of living.

I’ve been extremely fortunate in that I’ve never really been poor. My family was certainly never wealthy, but we always had enough. My parents taught me to be responsible with money, to stay within my means and to realize that there’s no need to always have the latest shiny thing. I’ve also been fortunate to have and keep a steady job for the last several years that pays well enough for my needs. There won’t be any private islands being purchased in my near future, but I have the bottom couple levels of Maslow’s pyramid taken care of so I won’t complain.

Even so, I still spent too much in 2011*, and so 2012 must be the year of less spending and more saving. Fewer trips to restaurants and more usage of what’s in the pantry. Fewer purchases of stuff that isn’t really needed and more donation of stuff that doesn’t get used. Less reliance on consumerism in the middle of the worst recession this country’s had since the Depression, and more enjoyment of the simpler pleasures that life offers… for free.

Less unhealthy activity

America is fat. Over a third of our adult population is obese. We eat too much, we eat too poorly, and on average we don’t spend enough time balancing that out. So 2012 needs to be the year of less unhealthy activity – less junk food, less soda, and less lounging on the couch. More water, more trips to the gym and more walking or biking (when possible).

But 2012 also needs to be the year of less unhealthy mental activity. I spent too much of 2011 wallowing in my own head, bemoaning the sad state of me. That needs to stop.

More challenges

Lest all that seem too negative, here’s some positivity. The new year is the perfect opportunity to challenge yourself, to set goals to achieve. Not goals like “tomorrow I will (try to) get out of bed.” Challenges like “I will learn a new language” or “I will start that new business” or “I will finally take up fiery sword-swallowing”. Something we know will be difficult for you but that we can accomplish with enough effort. But it has to be difficult. It has to be outside our comfort zones, otherwise what’s the point?

Personally, I want to learn at least two new web coding languages – one front-end and one back-end. Maybe that doesn’t appeal to you. Fine. Find something that does, and go do it.

More exploring

I’m an introvert. My shell is thick and well-weathered, and I stay inside it as much as possible. Being around people is physically exhausting**. This is obviously not conducive to leading a life of adventure.

Most of my life has been spent in Milwaukee, but most of it is still foreign to me. I’d like to change this and really see the world around me. More travel, more exploring outside of the city, outside the state, and most importantly out of the comfort zone. We could probably all do with some exploring of the terrain outside our cozy little shells, no matter how cozy those shells might be.

tl;dr

2012 needs to be the year we collectively get our dren together. Less time spent doing ourselves harm and more time spent doing ourselves and others good. We’re better than we think we are, we just need to convince ourselves of that.

Activity! Real Life!

Admittedly I spend a lot of time sitting in front of a computer, so one of my goals for 2011 was to “spend more time at the gym”. Clearly I was feeling original that day.

Sadly, I fell just short of last year’s total gym time. However, there’s a perfectly legitimate excuse. I bought a bike!

After not owning a bicycle since college, it was time to get back into it. It’s good for you, and it’s cheaper and better for the environment than driving. What’s not to like? Over the course of two months starting August 20, I put 234 miles on the bike and loved every minute of it. By late October it was too cold out for me to keep going.

In any case, being on the bike as much as I could was a reasonable alternative to going to the gym. Most notably, I rode from Wauwatosa to the Cudahy lakefront, a 20-mile one-way trip, less than a month after getting on a bike for the first time in years. Achievement unlocked.

Media

The way I record it, seasons of TV shows get counted as a single entry, as do individual movies. It’s a little unbalanced, but the goal isn’t a tally of how much time is spent watching, just what I’ve watched. In 2011, that comes to 162 unique movies and TV shows. (Really 164 since I saw two movies more than once.) All but 42 of those I’d never seen before.

That was a few less than my 2010 total of 171 unique entries (+6 multiples) but actually more time spent due to the larger number of TV shows (31 seasons, up from 25 in 2010). Related: I started writing little haikus for everything I watched: movie review-ku.

My favorite movie of 2011 was either X-Men: First Class or Super 8, with an honorable mention going to Hanna. By far the worst movie of 2011 (that I saw) was Priest, though Green Lantern was a strong runner up.

Driving

I drove a lot less in 2011 than in 2010 – almost 22% less. Part of that was due simply to the higher gas prices (last year’s highest price at $3.13/gal was about level with this year’s lowest at $3.10) discouraging driving in general. Part of it was me making a conscious effort to walk or bike more whenever possible, in an attempt to be both healthier and more environmentally friendly. I think it paid off.

That said, it’s still an expensive habit. Between my car’s slightly lower fuel efficiency this year and the higher gas prices, I ended up spending more on gas this year than last (even despite the significantly reduced mileage). Hopefully next year I’ll put even less miles on, but we’ll take that as it comes.

Drinkin’

Hi, I’m Tom, and I’m a caffeineaholic. It’s been *checks watch* two hours since my last fix.

When I see the numbers like this, it’s actually kind of gross. Over the course of the year I drank over 23 gallons of Mountain Dew (250 12-oz cans) and over 12.6 gallons of Monster Khaos (about 100 16-oz cans). That plus the four gallons of Red Bull (which I don’t even particularly like)… it adds up quickly.

The sad part is that this is significantly more than last year’s caffeine intake – last year I drank about 19.8 gallons of Mountain Dew and only five gallons of Khaos – and that’s even accounting for the handful of times I went a week without any caffeine in an attempt to detox.

I’m really hoping to cut down on that number for next year. It’s not healthy at all – besides the caffeine not being particularly good for my sleeping habits or alertness, that’s a lot of sugar to be taking in.

Miscellanea

Other notable happenings throughout the year:

• I got hired on as a full-time employee after spending four years as a contractor. My role changed from a front-end developer, designer, copy-editor jack-of-most-trades on our public website to being primarily a web content coordinator (less development work, more project management) in a different department, working with our intranet.
• Experienced SXSW for the first time ever. It was amazing and completely overwhelming and not at all something an introverted misanthrope should inflict on themselves, but totally worth it. I learned a lot of great stuff, met some great people, had some great food, and got out of the 22-degree blizzard in Milwaukee for a week. I doubt I’ll be making a return trip for a few years, though.
• Paid off the last of my car loan in January, ending a 36-month loan in 18 months and saving a ton of money that would have been wasted on interest. Still love my car as much as the day I bought it.
• Posted 12,934 tweets as of the time of this post (and the day’s not over yet). 6022 replies, 2013 retweets, and 4899 of my own. There’ll be a more detailed breakdown of my tweeting habits in a few months when I try for another “twelve months on Twitter” post.
• Bought a slow cooker and have embarked on a quest to find the best chili recipe possible. It’s slow going but I’m totally okay with that.

If you were hoping for a @feltron style infographic-loaded roundup, sorry to disappoint. I don’t have the patience to do something like that. There are other things I could pretty easily report on as well, but these were the ones that really stood out this year and were easy enough to track without being burdensome.

Stay tuned for another obligatory list of resolutions for the new year in a few days!