The Tempura Diaries

Maximum Exposure

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 11:13:00 +0000

To My Dear Cousin Heil,

I know you are well on your way to becoming a harlequin. I've seen you in several shows and have attended your various featured performances here and there with discretion. I'd like to say that you've been doing a great job! I'd like to tell you what happened the other day about my friend Kreme who happens to be a well-trained harlequin.

Apparently he has gone into hiding after the harlequin guild forced him to wear some ridiculous outfit as some sort of test. He said something about harlequins being able to wear ANY kind of garments, even if it is the most embarrassing to be able to entertain people of all sorts. He sent me a letter because he needed help with something. He first sent me his picture wearing the outfit. ...A VERY REVEALING OUTFIT.

...I couldn't help but laugh at first, but then again I've seen worse. I guess those short shorts are meant for maximum mobility and those skin-revealing tops are supposed to be for maximum exposure.

I later met him at some part in the Port of Winds asking if I had something that would be able to help him strut around that confidence. Kreme immediately said that he won't take "Confidence Classes" for an answer. I then quickly disposed this flyer I got for a seminar that teaches "Wearing Self-Confidence". Then I suddenly thought of something.

I lent him my Sambaba helm for the time being because it would attract more attention than his revealing outfit. Hopefully the helm I lent him would give him a boost of self-confidence as most of my pride and arrogance might have rubbed off that helm. Heck, I wouldn't mind wearing what Kreme was wearin-- oh WAIT, YOU'RE NOT EBBIE. Anyway, you've got a lot more training ahead of you Heil.

Would you wear something like that Heil? I see what you did there. ;)

Later,

From Your Dear Cousin,

Prawnt

EEEEEEEKKK!!! ;3;

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 02:15:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

So there I was, lying down on my bed after a long day of training and even reminiscing about the good ol' days. Then all of a sudden, I heard this loud flapping sound. I thought at first it was a Scrappy that got stuck in the window railings again, but as I got up from my bed, it was a flying cockroach!!!

I was so scared that I think I screamed like a little girl as I tried to swat the darned thing with my sword. Hopefully no one heard me scream. That would've been very embarrassing! You know how I am with flying cockroaches. ;3;

Stay safe Ebbie, please send me some pesticides.

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

An Odd Statue

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 11:46:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

With the opening of the Drakos Tower once again, many adventurers have been crowding at Camp Steven to help the Dragon Expedition drive back Elga's minions. As for me, I have personally been assigned with a task group that was been ordered to look for alternate routes into the tower. The main entrance of the tower wouldn't do much so we had to look for alternate routes.

Along with a party of other paladins and mercenaries, we found this cave and ventured deep within. The mages believe it would lead to the tower's basement, and we could begin launching another front from there. The underground tunnel was infested with monsters, and more of Elga's minions. Along the way, I came across this odd statue.

It looked so intricate and well-crafted that I was intrigued by it. By the time I looked around, I noticed the party went on without me, and I was all alone! So there I was, sitting there with no one else but Toby (Yes, Toby the Gryphon returned!) and the statue. I waited for around twenty minutes hoping one of my partymates would signal me to join with them, as I couldn't see much within that tunnel.

Growing bored, I picked my nose and drew a large booger. Without much thought, I wiped it onto the statue until Toby suddenly started squawking in a panicked manner. I tried to calm him down but he wouldn't stop. Then I heard a large rumbling noise and I saw the statue slowly coming to life! I turned red and snorted in an angry manner. Eyeing me, I almost shat bricks because of its ferocious gaze. I then started running away.

The large demon was very strong to a point I had almost burned to death. It summons large fireballs, breathes fire, and wields this ginormous axe that I tried to avoid as much as possible. Eventually I was cornered, but I knew I had to strengthen my resolve and fight back! After a long and arduous battle complete with epic boss background music, I defeated it. I was also heavily wounded from the fight that I had to use a return scroll to get back to Camp Steven.

I am currently in Camp Steven being treated of my wounds. I'll need to rest for a bit.

Stay safe now!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

MY EARS!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 00:31:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I was going to write this letter to tell you how cool my new armor is, but something unexpected happened just after two weeks of wearing the darned helmet. Yes, I believe the helmet is cursed or something, even after I souled it at Julie's. You do know us Paladins get the Signus rank when we reach a certain level. I'm pleased to tell you that your brother just gained Signus rank! Yay! But enough about that. I'll show you the picture, yes?

Pretty neat, huh? I must say I've gone quite far from being the clumsy warrior I was years back. I still couldn't find the darned shoulder piece for this set, though. It's very rare to find good craftsmanship these days. (Well 42 could also forge one but... you know.) Now take a look at the helmet. Why do you think those fins at the side are so big?

Because it needs something to fill it up with.

I didn't notice it at first because of my thick hair, but later on I've started to notice subtle changes. I could hear better and my helmet was starting to feel more comfortable. Later on, before being dispatched at a mission in Siren Woods, I went inside my tent and removed my helmet during the short recess. I looked at a nearby mirror and noticed something protruding out of my hair.

I touched it then rubbed it until I realized something. THESE WERE MY EARS!!!

I was so surprised that I just had to feel both of them to make sure I wasn't dreaming or something. I'm guessing this helmet of mine makes anyone's ears bigger just to fit it. People keep calling me "elf" or "elven warrior" just because of the ears. BUT I'M NO ELF.

Then I thought of something. "Prawnt the Elven Tempura Knight" also sounds kinda good right? It's also gonna be fun to go around telling people you're an elf, and lying about your age to claim that you're more than a hundred years old. But that's what most elves are right?

I don't know how long I'll keep these kinda ears, but I feel they're only temporary. If it's permanent, it's alright. At least I could hear better.

Though people keep saying it's actually an accessory, I dare them to pull my ears. If I say ouch, it's real! Not lying!

Stay safe Ebbie, love ya!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

A Weird Letter

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 23:47:00 +0000

To My Dear Friend Ceaz,

I found this letter in my mail today. Does Mr. 42 really write like this all the time? I hardly understood a thing. It has the most peculiar content I've ever read so far.

TO MAI DEEREST PRAWNT

GREEEEEEEEEEEEETINS PRAWNT!

I BIG fan!

I lav yu!

I adore yu!

LET ME SPAWN!

I 42, I BLACKSMITH, I MEYK WEAPON FANTASTIK SPAHKU! LEZ GO NAMBAH WAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bat enuf abawt dat! I kam tu tell new messeyj! EET IS OPEN! PAREEZ EES KAM! DID YU LISUN? DID YU TELL PEOPLEZ? HOPE YU DID!

HAHAHAH SPAHKU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eniwei, I see yor sister leytli! She be fantastik spahku! DAT NAYT, DIS BIG! Veri pretty! Meyk dagger stare look ;D She keym to repeyr wepon, I gib her diskawnt! BERI BIG, FANTASTIK DISKAWNT! FIVE GOLD! She get speshul tritment. ;D

DAGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~!

Eniwei, she doing well, I kno yur kyuryusss, she good, she hab resolut payonir! VERY SPHAKU. Kerries Giant rock TITAN FURY AXE NAO, VERY HARDCOR! Olso, I see Sieg and Mynthe arawnd ageyn! xNatsumi too! Old gildmeyts return! I nu see Cailey and Zakriid though, tell Ceaz I sorry >: .

OH DID YU HIR? Milie gat merrid to Goryu! VERY FANTASTIK PAHTI! LOTSA PEEPOL. Dun be so down, meni other gurl in street! VERY NAIS, HAO MUCH! Deyt Milie's sister, Kureha! VERI PRITTEE, LAYK HER TWIN HAHA!!

WHICH REMAYND ME, HAB YOU SEEN JODIE? SHE HAWT! FANTASTIK SPAHKU! LEZ GO NAMBAH WAAAAAAAAAAN! DIS NAYT! DIS BIIIIIIIG! DAGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

*cough*

Iunno wai I write cough ;D

ENIWEI! I write to tell yu mor news! GET POWERFUL FAST AT OGOST 8, 9 and 10! VERY POWAR BUFF! FANTASIK! You get strong, strong layk sister! I gib yu diskawnt in repeyr! VERY NAIS! VERY CHIP! 5 GOLD, GOOD DEAL! VERY NAAAAAAIS! FANTASTIK SPAHKU!

FROM YOR BIGGEST FAN, LET ME SPAWN,

Alphonsus Mortierre Del Torre' Fatierre, 42 ;D

P.S: ORAYT! FANTASTIK SPAHKU! LEZ GO NAMBAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

... GORYU AND MILIE GOT MARRIED? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME???

From Your Friend,

Prawnt

That Breezy Feeling

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 13:28:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I just had to write to you this time. So there I was the other day, doing my regular duties along the area between Frigid Canyon and the Sleepy Slums. Every time I jumped or walked, my rear felt weird as I was fighting monsters. I thought I accidentally wore two pairs of underwear again. It felt kinda thick yet it felt cool at the same time. So I had a really happy time training and slaying all sorts of monsters.

After my twelve-hour regular duty (A Tempura Knight is on call 24/7!!! ), I headed to the HQ Men's Locker Room to take a shower. I was literally sweating a waterfall after drinking a lot of those fat-burning HP potions that makes your body all lean and stuff like in the commercials. Mmmm~ grapefruit is tasty. I was really stinky so a nice relaxing shower was in order.

I approached my locker to place some of my things. Helmet, pauldrons, chestplate, legplates, boots, gauntlets, and soon my undergarments. As I was about to strip down to nudity, I noticed something inside my underwear.

It was a pantyliner.

I held it up in disbelief, and a few paladins saw it and laughed at me. They called me all sorts of mean things and all I could do was sulk and get angry inside. They also told me I was in the wrong locker room and that the women's locker room was next door!

Even after taking a shower, the paladins couldn't stop laughing at me and even called me the "Pantyliner Paladin". I wanted to challenge them to a fight but they were high-ranking fighters that my Tempura Abilities couldn't match up to yet. P'shaw.

I got dressed again and I took the pantyliner to throw it in the garbage.

Seriously, who could have done such a prank, Ebbie? When I catch that culprit he or she is DEAD.

Stay safe from pranks now!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

P.S. Though I had to admit, it felt kinda comfortable while wearing that. As comfortable as applying masculine wash! Remember, burn this letter after you read it, alright? This letter is for your eyes only my dear sister.

Kidnappings Around Ashmist

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 12:11:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I received your last letter and am very impressed that you've made such good progress within the Drakos Tower lately. Not even a regiment of Paladins could get through some areas. I haven't even made it to the 6th floor yet from last time! If you're having your fights within the tower, there has been trouble brewing around the area between Ashmist and Camp Steven. There has been a torrent of reports that many children have gone missing. This reminds me of the time that Candy Factory opened.

I received a report from HQ while I was sleeping on the table in my house. Yes Ebbie, when your bed becomes too uncomfortable the table becomes the second best bed. The Commander instructed me and several other paladins to look around for clues to investigate this string of incidents. Donning my fancy new armor, that's right Ebbie, I've got fancy new armor and I ain't showing it to you yet! So off I went to Siren Woods.

After defeating several Zards and Yetis along the way, I stumbled upon the injured fairy I acquainted a while back. She told me, teary-eyed some important information that would lead us to the missing children. I was surprised of what she said. Apparently Fairy Queen Arca kidnaps naughty children and transforms them, warping their minds and bodies into fairies to bolster her fairy army.

Even I couldn't believe that. So all those fairies that I've been slaying could've been the kidnapped children? It couldn't be helped anyway. There was no way to return the children back to normal, as they have become part of Arca's fairy army. This is how Paris' influence grows. A portal then suddenly opened and the good fairy told me to enter. It led me to Fairy Queen Arca that mocked me.

Arca mocked me by telling me that when I was a little boy, she wanted to turn me into a fairy. She said something about having some sort of telepathic power that allows her to locate naughty children and personally turns them into fairies. I lashed at her as I launched a Pressure attack which she quickly evaded. She then went blabbering about the time of Paris is nigh or something like that. After a tedious battle, I defeated her.

Even after she was defeated, she still threatened me that Paris will come and destroy the world. When I thought it wasn't over, Paris herself suddenly appeared and told Arca that she was an incompetent minion, yadda yadda yadda yadda, she sounds like my boss nagging us subordinates! Next thing you know, she released this great power that temporarily blinded me because of its brightness.

I then heard a scream. When I opened my eyes, Paris was gone and there was a pile of ash where Arca used to be.

I then went to my commander immediately to file my report. Still, the thought disturbs me about the children-into-fairies thing. If they could do that to children, what could a full-grown man or woman turn into???

Stay safe Ebbie don't let them fairies get you!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

Information Overload

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 14:43:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

You may have been wondering what would be the "information" the sages had bestowed upon me. Now the only things I know is that these items could be made by certain recipes that I haven't even encountered yet. It would most likely be inside the dungeon, but I guess we could call that a theory. I have placed in this letter for you and your guildmates convenience, some interesting info you guys might want to know about.

Now only the strongest of the strongest adventurers could use these things, but I know you're in one of the strongest guilds around here. These are just tidbits from the info suddenly passed into my brain. If you collect all set pieces together, it could have wonderful effects.

Heck, I don't even know what these things look like yet. I'm already imagining something like many spikes... or probably something that looks so badass it would give Paris and her minions a run for their money.

Stay safe Ebbie, that information has finally been unloaded from my brain, and I can FINALLY EAT TEMPURA AGAIN! YAAAAAAY!!!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

PARIS EXPOSED!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 13:57:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

It was so weird yesterday. That dream was just so weird I had to take my tempura meds before returning to my duties at the Frigid Canyon. Pythanuth has been reported to have been supplying Drakos with minerals, which is why I was assigned there. Anyway, I received a mysterious letter and someone contacted me all of a sudden. I don't know why, but she added me to my buddy list all of a sudden.

I don't know who this Yuffiie person was until I was invited into her home. Well, more like summoned actually, I appeared in this fancy room after receiving the letter! A voice then told me to "Wait." and I did just that. After reading a few magazines and books at the nearby bookshelf, two hooded figures appeared. They introduced themselves as sages of Dragonica, those who bestow great power upon adventurers.

I think I just shat bricks.

Sages Yuffiie and Jin, as they were called sent that dream and planted it into my mind. I was one of many adventurers lucky enough to receive that and I didn't know I'd get picked. Are my Tempura Skills finally making a name for themselves?

Yuffiie then casted something onto the ground. A dark portal appeared, and it was the apparition of Paris herself! I attacked the image for around ten minutes and I didn't notice the two sages were telling me to cut it out, because it is only an illusion to show me what Paris has become. Aside from the smexy outfit, wings, she also had these floating thingies around her. I even thought if I grabbed one, it might become useful as a pet.

Sage Yuffiie then gave an explanation that Paris will unleash her onslaught next month on the Dragonians, which must be the reason why Drakos has been so quiet lately. She's gaining more power even as I write this letter!

I definitely would like to call out to all the Dragonians out there to prepare, Ebbie! Tell your guildmates and friends to train hard because Paris is coming soon! When that happens, we must brace ourselves for the worst that could happen! If our world is destroyed, WHO IS GOING TO COOK MY FAVORITE TEMPURA DISHES??? OH GAWD NOOOOOO!!!! ;~;

Yuffiie then told me to train hard, and she said she was looking forward to the efforts of all Dragonians as a whole. We shouldn't quarrel over petty things and we have to unite ourselves with the Dragon Expedition to counter the evil witch and her dark forces. Sage Jin then casted some magic to give me a few buffs so I could immediately train after our little meeting.

Clenching my fist, I approached the hologram again and looked at its lifeless eyes, that what has been robbed of clear human reason and conscience. It was an image that I would hope to fight one day as a full-fledged Tempura Knight. To protect the people's smiles and their future, I tell the people I help that life is like a piece of Tempura. Tempura is crunchy on the outside, like how we handle most things. But deep down when it gets soft and tasty, we eventually like it and want more.

Now THAT is good material for the Tempura Knight's Codex I'm creating! One day, you'll have not just one, but ten, or maybe even a hundred Tempura Knights under my command!!!

"Now Tempura Knight, will you help spread the news?" Sage Yuffiie asked.

I looked at the image again one last time.

Turning back to the two sages, I nodded my head and they both smiled. In an instant, I was teleported out of the room, and found myself in the center island of the Port of Winds. I couldn't even tell if it was a dream but it felt so real. I even talked about it with Ceaz. Then all of a sudden this information overloaded my brain and I had to write it down somewhere. It was something about powerful equipment and I ran back home immediately!

Now if you excuse me Ebbie, I have a bit more writing to do.

Stay safe, warn your guildmates and friends about this!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

------------

OOC: Many many many thanks to [CM] Yuffiie and [GM] Jin for the interview! It was a great honor, and I hope you guys enjoy my blog as well!

(Obligatory group pic)

A Strange Dream.

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 13:09:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I know I've been eating so much tempura lately, but you know me! Once I whiff a scent of that tasty dish nothing could stop me, not even the most evil sorceress like Paris! (...or Lady Ciel.) Speaking of Paris, I had a strange dream the other night that I'd like to share with you. It all started when I had to pick up some weapon powder from some blacksmith named 42. After he told me that "PAREEZ ESS KAMING", I didn't understand what he said until I got home and rested.

Later, while I was fast asleep, I began to dream. It was this hooded figure in this really creepy chamber. The dark figure was very familiar as it moved towards this crystal, and if my eyes in the dream didn't deceive me, I think I saw Elga sealed underneath something as well! There was this crystal stalactite where a girl is imprisoned inside. I don't know much about her but it may have something to do with what's been happening lately. It's all so confusing!

The figure turned around, and I couldn't believe it. I recognized that face.

It was Paris!

I still remember that time she appeared at the Smoldering Swamps after she tricked Queen Vella and used her like a mere tool.

However, it appears she wasn't finished. She raised her arms high, and cast something that made her levitate, grow wings, and she was exposed. Veeeery exposed Ebbie. I could tell ya, she is one hawt sorceress, except she is EVIL! And that is why we knights must resist that lustful temptation of hers!!!

CLICK FOR AN AWESOME PIC

I could also swear I heard a teeny annoying voice somewhere, something about granting Paris her powers... was that Elga or my imagination that time?

Anyway, stay safe Ebbie. This might mean something big.

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

The Tower Is Shut...

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:29:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

Funny thing actually, I wanted to do a bit of exploring into Drakos the other day, but the door finally has some sort of seal on it. There have been reports Paris grew stronger lately, despite the efforts of the Dragon Expedition. Camp Steven is always a cold place to stay for the night, and using those Puff Towers they've installed recently are taking a lot out of my budget.

I should watch my restaurant bill whenever I eat some tempura.

I was thinking of getting Mistress Ciel to get the seal removed, but I don't think she would honor my request. Besides, if I had removed that seal... something terrible would happen. I guess we have to wait for the right time until it becomes unsealed.

This will probably be my shortest letter to you ever. When Drakos Tower reopens, I wonder what would lie inside? Stronger monsters? Now that would be scary now wouldn't it?

Stay safe Ebbie,

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 12:32:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I received your present and I must say, this new sword you got for me is the best! Although a bit heavier than an Angelius Sword, it's a really great gift and I'd like to thank you so much! I could finally defeat many monsters with ease using this new sword you gave me! When your birthday comes, I shall give you something definitely worth it! That's a promise from your big brother!

Anyway let me tell you what happened earlier today. The moment I woke up and looked at the calendar, I found out it's my birthday today! I completely forgot all about it after that incident with you-know-who and her harlotry. Feeling upbeat, I did a bit more exercising and training than usual and headed off to take a stroll around town! It was also my day off thank goodness!

I went to my mailbox first to check if I got any letters from you. I didn't find anything but one letter that just read, "Your Room. 3:00PM. Today." It sent a chill down my spine that made me a bit skeptical as well. I just placed the letter in my pocket and then stretched my arms. I then wondered who could it have come from.

After several hours of goofing off and fighting monsters, I felt tired. I needed to take a rest so I headed straight back home where hopefully I could relax and even get someone to give me a good massage. Upon reaching the front door of my house, it was already the dreaded 3PM. What could be beyond the door of my own home?

I slowly opened it, not knowing what would pounce at any minute so I even readied my sword just in case. After fully opening the door and seeing nothing but darkness, the lights suddenly switched itself on and I heard a loud "SURPRISE!!!"

It was a surprise party made by my friends! Ceaz thought of organizing it and gathered many people I know. I saw Mistress Ciel, Leongarde, my second-cousin Heil, Kewkies, Kreme, Mynthe, Irichi, and more. They sang a birthday song just for me and at that moment, I felt so happy. I really wished you were there too Ebbie!

So after a bit of chatting around, it was time to blow the candles off the cake they got me. After I blew the candles, Mistress Ciel asked me: "What wish would you like this year, Prawnt?".

What was my answer?

To find true love.

Then everyone laughed it off and I got a bit bitter inside, but Ceaz patted me on the back and told me to just enjoy as they started giving me presents! "Presents, oh goodie!!!" I thought.

Here is a list of what I got from my birthday:

Ceaz: An ornamental dagger with my name engraved on it (strangely enough, the blacksmith's name was "42")

Mistress Flare Ciel: Cherry-scented candles

Mynthe: A tempura basket

Heil: Sword polishing kit

Kewkies & Kreme: Cupcakes made out of cookies and cream

Sieg: A... leather belt?

Zakriid: A book on the history of the Fungoids

I also got lots of birthday cards from several other friends.

What struck me the most was that Miss Ciel gave me scented candles, out of all strange things. When I asked her why, all she said was "Because." Then she smiled in a very creepy manner that made me want to cringe somehow.

Anyway Ebbie, thank you for the sword again. Love you lots!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

------------

OOC: No, it's not actually my birthday but my character's birthday. Created 7/19/2009 of last year. ONE YEAR OF DRAGONICA YEAH!

Ebbie?

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 14:20:00 +0000

To My Dear Friend Ceaz,

Dude, I'd like to thank you and somehow you have flattered me as well. I know you also haven't seen Ebbie in person, but I appreciate the effort you took to sketch her. I am going to send this sketch to Ebbie, and judging from this sketch of yours, the description I gave matched it perfectly.

Certainly Ceaz, you've got a knack for drawing! If you keep this up, you may end up fighting with a giant pencil instead!!!

From Your Buddy,

Prawnt

New Pages

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 13:59:00 +0000

To My Dearest Readers, Fans, and Friends,

In case you may have not noticed, I created two new pages to spruce up the blog

I've added a Characters page to give a bit more insight into the people I write about (as well as myself).

I've also added an Epic Chatlogs session where I've posted screenies of chatlogs we've made in-game that simply cannot be put into letter writing.

Now have fun, enjoy, and don't forget to bring a piece of cardboard!

From The Author,

Prawnt

P.S. Come to think of it, I think I'll add a Fanart section as well. xD

Cardboard ;D

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 08:21:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

The last time I went around town to look for new furniture, I couldn't believe the price tags on them. It far exceeded my budget, and I didn't know if i really even needed such a thing.

The other day, I made a wonderful discovery. A merchant in Moonlight Shore town unloaded all of his goods from these cardboard boxes. Cardboard is quite sturdy, you could use it to make almost anything out of it. Given you have the right materials of course.
I told the merchant I'll take all of his empty cardboard boxes for one gold coin. Amazingly, he agreed and I brought it all the way home. As soon as I got home, I brought out a cutter and some duct tape and super glue to fix it to my liking.

Ceaz dropped by and saw what I was doing. He thought I was crazy and went off laughing. Heck even I didn't know what I was making.

A little cut, gluing here and there didn't really hurt until I was able to create my very first masterpiece.

I think I just created a cardboard katana! Wow! You could even make weapons out of these things!

Just you wait Ebbie, a little more reinforcement on this baby and I'll be shouting "CARDBOARD ;D" wherever I go along with it!

Stay safe now,

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

...Fish In The Sea?

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 14:40:00 +0000

To... My Dearest Ebbie,

I tried hard you know. I always try to look cool for the ladies and show off my awesome Tempura skill set for eyecandy. I groom myself all the time and try to develop a strong personality worthy of fangirls going "KYAAAA~" over. However, what had happened the other day was a real blow in the crotch for me. I still couldn't get over it. I didn't know what to do that time I saw THEM.

Apparently someone had already beaten me to it. Milie has already fallen for someone else other than me. I didn't know she was with Goryu all this time. Goryu used to be a fellow knight, but he switched jobs and eventually became a Jester. BUT WHO KNEW SHE WOULD BE DATING THAT GUY ALL THIS TIME. THE EVENT WAS SO TRAUMATIZING I COULDN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.

So there I was that day, whistling a happy tune, brushing my teeth, combing my hair, polishing my armor and prepared to meet her. I stopped by the local patisserie to get the cake I had specially made for her and went to the spot where she always went to relax. I was so excited that I almost tripped along the way.

When I got there, I was about to say "Hi", but all of a sudden Goryu came and the two of them held hands. I thought to myself what this could mean. Could they have been more than just friends? I hid behind some bushes to check what was going to happen next.

Then I saw the two of them kiss. Goryu had already beaten me to it. Who knew he would be dating Milie? Could I have missed a hint from her indicating she was already taken? Dejected, I absent-mindedly dropped the cake I bought and ran away, teary-eyed. I went back to my room where I swore like there was no tomorrow, kicking the wall until my foot hurt. I then jumped onto my bed, sniveling into my pillow.

I didn't report for duty the following three days.

This taught me a lesson however, Ebbie. I should look before I leap next time. Ceaz was worried about my condition and even sent me a letter. Something about more fish in the sea. When I met Ceaz in person again I punched him in the face.

I should get new gauntlets.

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

A Crush!

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 14:32:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I know you always nag me for not getting a girlfriend even at my age. Remember Milie? She's a very beautiful woman. She's witty, cute and she says a lot of stuff that makes me feel warm inside. I like her a lot. I still remember the first time I met her along with Goryu while fighting some pirates. She's a strong Ranger, I've gotta tell you. That Gatling Rush of hers literally clears any enemy that goes near her. I certainly wouldn't go near her if she were my enemy.

I've decided Ebbie. I am going to ask her out. If I do that, that will nullify my status of being single! It shall be a glorious day for Prawnt, the Tempura Knight if I could get Milie as my girlfriend! I could see the image imprinted in my head right now...

Stay safe Ebbie, you'll hear from me soon. I'm going to buy her her favorite chocolate cake!

VICTORY WILL BE MINE!!!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

Reunions

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 14:11:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

As soon as I recovered, I immediately set out to see what has happened so far in our world. Libra has changed as well as that new town called Moonlight Shore, although folks keep telling me Moonlight Shore was Libra which means--- never mind, I might complicate things. It's just there. Anyway, I heard from Ceaz and FlareCiel and they told me to meet them at Ocher Forest to help out clearing the monsters there. Elga's influence has greatly manifested in the area, causing Ocher Forest to become darker with its overgrowths.

As I fought through the monsters that were in the way, this quirky little Pinecone appeared out of nowhere and followed me. For some reason, I didn't want to hit it because I thought it was kinda cute, sniffing my pouch bag for food. It put on a peculiar face, however. Reminds me of that Woodie pet we had when we were little.

Eventually, I was able to find my two friends and they told me of what had happened. Paris seems to have gained greater power therefore bringing the many changes in the world. New ranks were formed for stronger adventurers to combat the new threat. Apparently if I train hard enough, I could get promoted to a Dragon Knight authorized to summon a dragon.

If you ask me Ebbie, I want to summon a giant dragon prawn to fulfill my title as the Tempura Knight. So I went with the two to defeat some Elluman clones until we grew tired.

THE PINECONE NEVER LEFT THE WHOLE TIME.

When we finally got to rest somewhere in Moonlight Shore Village, the Pinecone snatched my pouch bag and rummaged through the bag. It took away my Tempura Lunch set and ran away with it after giving a short bow of gratitude. Weird.

I could swear the Pinecone was smiling in this manner instead:

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

Coma

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:12:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

You may have become worried why I haven't been writing letters to you for the past few months. I know you might want to hit me or something but let me tell you what had happened. I fell into a coma right after the Candy Factory Incident and was out for several months. As I woke up, several things had changed. I've heard Paris and her minions have set out for revenge on something and many changes have been made to the towns. I've even heard a new rank for all job classes was authorized to combat the new threat.

I am to report for Paladin duty again soon, but I need to recover and remember how I used to fight. I couldn't remember much from what had happened on why I fell into a coma but I just did. Could this be part of Paris' evil?

My guildmates have disappeared, and I am alone once again. Thankfully I was able to gain touch with Ceaz and Lady FlareCiel in Libra. With them, we are going to form a new guild with a name still pending. My head is still spinning as I write this letter in bed.

If you excuse me, I have some shrimp tempura to catch up on.

From your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

Revenge of the Sweets Part II

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 10:58:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

After getting the kid back to his mother and reinforcing my "little friend" with a special kind of underwear, I gathered a few guildies namely Negumi, Genexxx and lovemac who were interested in exploring the Cookie Factory and to rescue the remaining children as well. I had my own motives too. TO TAKE BACK WHAT THE DARNED FACTORY STOLE FROM ME AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT IT WAS!

We literally swept through every floor of the factory clearing areas of candy monsters and guards, defeating Mallow Woodies to save the children. It was fast with them around, and their help was greatly appreciated in the name of justice. Eventually we grew tired and my guildies had to return to their own business, taking with them the children they had rescued. I stayed and looked around for the real culprit behind this "kids into monsters" mischief.

As I explored the factory further and deeper, I found something weird in one of the rooms. It was an old man with a cane heading for this thing that appeared to be some sort of machine. He climbed into it and to my surprise, the machine sprung to life.

It suddenly grew these large claws and legs and finally hovered, spotting me. Then the machine spoke. It was the voice I heard earlier, and more importantly, the bastard who had been turning all those poor children and my little friend into candy. I didn't hesitate any further and fought the darned machine.

The machine was quite tough to hit because he was hovering around the large room, and if I tried to hit him, these candy cannons positioned on two sides would turn me into a choco chip temporarily disorienting all my movements! As if the chocolate cruller wasn't enough. I had to climb to the top most platforms just to get a clear shot of him.

The "Master Machine" as it was called had various attacks ranging from propelling whisk things to churning out heavy blocks of biscuits that hurt me real bad. Wait a minute, biscuits? If I had brought you along Ebbie you would've beaten this boss quite easily! I know you have an addiction to biscuits. You could forget your diet plan once inside this factory.

Anyway, after an enduring battle, the machine finally malfunctioned after I performed a Cross Slash to finish it off. I tried to escape but it was no use. It crashed all the way to the ground and the old man who had entered it earlier climbed out, who looked a bit disoriented from the fall. I still had to confirm if this old man was the real culprit so I went down and confronted him.

Apparently this old man is Derek, the president of the company that manages this cookie factory. He told me he was worried about his age and having no wife or children, he had no successor to run his factory. This is why he had a contest for children to find the most pure-hearted of them all. He also blabbed about transformation magic that he used to turn children into monsters to see if they would succumb to its malignant power. He then congratulated me on defeating his machine.

After hearing his sappy story, I grabbed him by the collar and demanded for a cure to restore my "little friend" back to normal. He sighed and told me that it was only temporary and it would return to normal after a day. I was relieved, but somehow I couldn't help but punch him in the face for all the trouble he caused, despite his old age. Justice chooses no age, and guards from the Order came in to arrest him.

With that ordeal over, I then shrugged the whole thing off and headed back home. The important thing was, that this "curse" I have is only temporary. So are you still thinking of visiting that blasted factory?

Stay safe, I'll just get you some biscuits from the local bakery. It's safer.

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

Revenge of the Sweets Part I

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:10:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I know you love eating sweets. Remember when we were kids you always stole from my cookie jar and I'd get angry and stuff? That same cookie factory that produced the cookies we ate while we were kids is still around even to this day. I've heard it has been around for more than sixty years, according to the locals, but its owner has never been seen. Ever. Creepy huh? I was curious until I found this weird guy in the middle of town offering a tour of the Cookie Factory.

Yeah, he's pretty much like Gatto only he's a representative of the Cookie Factory. I told him I wanted to enter but I needed to have a ticket which could be found from the chocolate they sell. So I went around shops looking for that chocolate. After an hour of looking around, I still couldn't find the darned chocolate. That was until I found this woman asking for help from some people about her missing child. Being the chivalrous knight that I am, I offered to help her out immediately.

I asked her son's description. She said he was round, had blonde hair, and was FAT. Now it made me wonder how such a round, conspicuous child would go missing? The last place he had been to was the so-called Cookie Factory where they produce my favorite pastry, only next to Tempura in Ice Cream. CHOCOLATE CRULLERS.

That's right, their chocolate crullers are just so darn awesome I want more. Covered in that sugar glaze, my mouth is watering as I write this letter. Yum! Anyway, I did something rather un-knightly and I snuck into the factory to investigate. I was starting to get the impression that this had something to do with all the missing children around the area of the Port of Winds. It would make a great report to the Commander, I thought.

I entered the factory and my eyes sparkled as I saw all sorts of candy and chocolate being made... until I saw living candy moving around. Then I thought, "living candy"? No wonder the factory never hires any human workers. This must be the work of some evil force, like Paris' witchcraft or Elga's influence! Then I made a knightly vow. To rescue the children and put a stop to this factory of EVIL!!! ...except those Chocolate Crullers. Mmm~

There were tons of monsters in the area as I slowly hacked my way through tons of candy monsters. I wanted to eat them, but who knows where they have been? Each step was making me hungry. I knew I needed to find at least one safe chocolate cruller before I finish the mission. Eventually, I made my way into a room with this large candy monster in it:

I was like "WTF?" a Mallow Woodie? It didn't hesitate any further as it attacked me with its large pastry guns. It was a bit tough trying to beat it because of its soft sticky body, but eventually it gave in and started to melt. And then as if by magic, in a puff of gray, the puddle turned into the fat kid I've been looking for all along. So this factory had been turning kids into monsters? Creepy. As I was about to pick up the boy to bring him to a safe place, I heard a voice over the speakers.

"So you really thought you could solve this case huh? I'll show you, you cocky knight." the voice over the speakers taunted.

I then retorted, "Cocky huh? Well when I get to the bottom of this, I'll show you whoever-you-may-be! AND WHERE'S MY FREE CHOCOLATE CRULLER?"

"A free chocolate cruller, huh? Very well. I shall grant your request."

After the voice chuckled, this large pastry gun appeared right in front of me and aimed straight at my groin. It shot a bright stream of chocolate... IN THAT AREA! YES EBBIE, HE SHOT MY NETHER REGIONS! It didn't feel painful or anything and I found out nothing had happened to me.

"Is that all you could do? What the heck did that do to me anyway?" I shouted at the voice.

"Look in your pants and I have granted your request." the voice had disappeared right after the static over the speakers.

When I took a peek into my groin area... all I found was a chocolate cruller.

DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH EBBIE! THIS... THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! YOU COULD TAKE A MAN'S PRIDE AND DIGNITY BUT YOU COULD NEVER TAKE HIS "LITTLE BEST FRIEND"!!! IT... IS A PROOF...

OF MANHOOOOOD!!!

I SWEAR WHEN I FIND THE GUY WHO DID THIS, I WILL BEAT THE LIVING LIGHTS OUT OF HIM!

But I have to get this kid out of here first. I'll then pursue the real culprit and save the rest of the children... AND RESTORE MY MANHOOD BACK TO NORMAL!!!

Now stay safe Ebbie, DO NOT GO NEAR THAT FACTORY. Who knows what would happen to your womanhood if you went near???

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

Don't Drink The Water

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 23:49:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I've heard you've been doing well so far. The mercenary life has been good for you, huh? Though mom and dad aren't really supportive of it, just do what you do best and I'm sure you'll be able to reach your goals, whatever it may be. I'd also like to thank you for sending me that bandage the other day. Supplies have been scarce lately. Have you explored the Water Temple lately? It's great for newbie adventurers but it's cakewalk for experienced warriors like us.

I found something on the bulletin posted by our sovereign Steven Jr.'s butler, Vincent that says there has been something wrong with the water lately. Drinking water has started to smell weird and taste weird lately, and plumbers have ruled that the problem isn't in the plumbing. It was something in the water, and Vincent said that the Water Artifact in town hasn't been glowing as strong as it usually had been lately.

I decided to investigate the Water Artifact and found out it could communicate with me telepathically. It told me that the Water Temple, a place where he is strongly connected to has suddenly become overrun with impurity, most likely the doing of Elga's minions. His connection to the guardian of the Water Temple, Endairon has become severed because even Endairon has become corrupted as well by the impurity. The Water Artifact then gave me instructions how to purify the temple.

When I entered the Water Temple, I already found out Elga's minions have overrun the area, and there was an aura of darkness that emanated from the place itself. After doing all sorts of errands for the Water Artifact such as gathering beakers and wiping its sides, it gave me a small bottle of purifying liquid so I would be able to purify areas in the Water Temple.

As I fought enemies in the Water Temple, a thought occurred to me. What is up with dungeons and golems? Kundara had 'em, Drakos had 'em, and even this place is crawling with these so-called Quartz Golems. I understand most of these golems served as dungeon guardians till they were manipulated by Elga's forces as well. Oh right, golems are mindless things you could mess around with!

After purifiying several areas, I finally made it to Endairon's room. Although he looked powerful, he was still no match for me. If you look closely, Endairon mimics Night Lord's fighting style. Perhaps the ancients based Night Lord's design off Endairon?

Remembering what the Water Artifact had told me, "Water had to be purified by destroying it in order to give it rebirth" or something like that. When I defeated Endairon, the heavy feeling from my chest was lifted away and I was instantly teleported out of the temple.

To be honest Ebbie, the Water Temple was boring more or less. Like I said, it's great for newbie adventurers looking for their first real dungeon. It was all cakewalk in the end. I was only manipulated by the Water Artifact to clean his home in the end!

Stay safe!

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

P.S. I've heard a new Cookie Factory has popped out recently. Wanna go for a visit? Although I've heard of kids disappearing from the area, it'd be worth a try, right?

P.S.S. The plumbers LIED. I drank the water and it's still the same! The plumbing system was faulty all along!

Into Drakos

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:54:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

Things are not looking so good lately. Monsters around Drakos have become much stronger recently and it doesn't look like there won't be any end to it. There has also been news of a Water Temple with a evil aquatic spirit that has emerged near the Port of Winds. Writing from my little tent in Camp Steven, I'd like to tell you what I saw today when I ventured into some parts of the Drakos tower.

I haven't really been good with dungeon navigation, but I did manage to scout a considerable amount of the tower. Elga's minions are everywhere within that tall structure. Enemies I've encountered before such as mummies, skeletons, shrooms and sparks have been assigned to guard Elga's domain. Thing is, these monsters have an unholy aura among them that makes them stronger somehow.

There was also a part of the tower with stained glass halls. You know, those kinds of windows that look all pretty in the light? It was pretty awesome. It was as if I was high on drugs only skeletons and shrooms were after me! (I swear those shrooms and skeletons work together to create pot sessions amongst themselves. I've seen some skeletons swing around pendelum-like traps around the tower!)

I also saw some new enemies like those Grim Reapers. I think they're higher category skeletons with more abilities than that of a Skelemage. Yet, they were still no match for my fighting abilities. There are also several machines in the area that once acted as the tower's guardians. They seem to be working for Elga's minions now. There was one portal that caught my attention though. It was a machine called Gaiden.

Being the curious knight that I was, I entered the portal wanting to find out what was inside. The first thing I saw was a SKULL. A SKULL! This was the big bad boss of the machines, GAIDEN! I couldn't obtain much information about this mechanical monstrosity even from the mages, but I'll tell you one thing Ebbie. This boss scared the s**t out of me to the point I almost shat bricks. Yes Ebbie, I'll admit it. I was no match for that darned machine but remember this:

THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME.

You may be wondering how I was able to escape from that room filled with hundreds of crazy machines. I was able to find a small hole that I assumed to be a laundry chute (A laundry chute in a boss room? Wtf.) and dived right into it before the machines could grab me. I ended up back at the entrance of Camp Steven, telling myself that I wanted to do it again somehow because it was one heck of a thrill!

This part of Drakos Tower reminded me of one of those horror funhouses that show up at fairs and carnivals. You get scared at first, but there's this feeling inside you that you want to do it again. Do you also get that feeling Ebbie? I know that you were the more "intrepid" one when we were kids.

Anything interesting about that Water Temple yet? I guess you're after the treasure, huh? If you're after the treasure, all I want to do is slay the evil water spirit that lurks in it.

Stay safe! See you around.

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

OOC: FINALLY AN UPDATE! This is the effect of having rotating schedules, lack of sleep, writer's block, and browser problems. Hopefully I'll be able to put a Water Temple episode soon! ;D

Not Dead Yet!

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 23:54:00 +0000

To My Dearest Fans/Readers/Friends,

You may have noticed the lack of updates lately. This is because I have been rather busy at work. I haven't logged into DGN in a loooong time but I do intend to write more entries. Stay tuned as I cover a part of the Drakos Tower and the upcoming Water Temple this February 10!

I'll be writing something soon to keep you guys entertained!

Regards,

Prawnt

P.S. By the time the Water Temple is released, I'm thinking of bringing a few people along to explore it. ...Anyone wanna volunteer? xD

In The Mail

noreply@blogger.com (Prawnt!) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 22:16:00 +0000

To My Dearest Ebbie,

I can't believe what happened to you. Are you sure your guildmates harrassed you the other night? Or did you just have a bad case of Long Island Iced Tea overdose again? Didn't I tell you to always remain sober before and after a dungeon raid? Some random guy might pick you up and... that's it Ebbie. If you keep saying you're in danger from those guys, transfer guilds. Heck, I could even write you a recommendation letter into the Doraemon guild!

However, if you wish to remain and put up with it, I will respect your decision as your brother. I know you're a strong woman Ebbie, so carry the Tartareus family name around with pride, as we are the first generation in a line of Tempura Warriors! That's right Ebbie, we should start our own organization of knights. We should call it the Order of Tempura or something similar to that!

We would be the warriors of justice, and the bane of all malice if we form something like that. My cool poses during battle should stifle the enemy into thinking if we're really worth fighting!That's how our fighting style should be: flashy, fast, and most of all, DASHING. Every heroic warrior is dashing in a way, am I right?

Anyway, I found something weird the other day when I got trapped in the mail. Yes Ebbie, in the mail. I was looking for a package that I was about to send to you with the wrong address and the next thing you know, I got trapped in this box. I was cramped inside this box with hundreds of packages and letters put together. I lost track of time while inside that box, so in order to nourish myself, I looked for packages inside the box that smelled like food and ate them.

My glowing sword proved useful as a light, so as I spent my days confined in that little box, I just read all sorts of letters and saw all sorts of packages with food inside. Most of the food I've eaten were breadrolls and slices of cake. Thankfully there were some apples and water inside as well. Don't ask me what I had to do when I had to urinate or defecate while inside that darn box.

Eventually I came across this weird form that many people use for something called a "Social Networking Bulletin". It's this common bulletin board in town where people post news, stuff about themselves and ridiculous survey questions that no one really seems to care about. I think it was called FaceBulletin or something. Funny thing about this was it had a weird set of questions, and the envelope was purple.

For fun, I answered the questions that were inside that envelope. As you read all the way to the end, you'll get an idea who made this tasteless survey. Oh, and I also found a similar letter that a Swamp Monster filled up. (I could tell from the smell.) I compared the answers with mine:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This had the title: ARE YOU WORTHY TO BE CONSIDERED ELGA'S MINION?

1. Thank you for applying at Elga Minion Manpower Consultancy and Services. First of all, are you a Dragonican or a monster?

Mine: Dragonican.

Swamp Monster: GAFLARGBLARGHBLARGH *fart* (MONSTER!!!)

2. Let's begin with a few simple questions. Are you in good physical condition?

Mine: Yes. *flex*

Swamp Monster: *fart*

3. Being a minion of Elga is very tough work. Are you prepared to get beaten up by countless adventurers who do not care about your well-being?

Mine: I suck at PVP anyway so I guess it's okay.

Swamp Monster: *sad fart*

4. What would you consider your best asset during an invasion?

Mine: My looks will knock all the ladies down! ;D

Swamp Monster: BLARGHGARFLARG! (I throw poop.)

5. Would it be alright if we stuck the Evilizer up your arse and made you evil? (No, the fruit thing with Paris and the Orc Brothers was a lie.)

Mine: WTF? That's how they became evil??? The fruit thing was a lie!

Swamp Monster: *fart*

6. Do you have any experience in roaming around aimlessly and waiting for an adventurer to beat you up?

Mine: These questions are getting more ridiculous by the minute...

Swamp Monster: BLARGH! BLARGHGHGH! (YES! YES!)

7. And finally, a problem solving question. Lord Elga sent 3 minions to attack 2 adventurers and 1 fighter fell from each side. 2 more adventurers arrived at Lord Elga summons 2 more. WHAT IS PARIS' BOOB SIZE???

Mine: WTF. That question made no sense at all! And Paris' boob size is hard to describe.

Swamp Monster: *farrrrrrrrrt*

Thank you for answering our form. We hope to see you in our ranks once you pass our screening process. If successful, you get a 1 gold signing bonus on your contract and a free Evil Doughnut!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As for me, I got out of that box eventually. I also had to take a bath for 12 hours because of the stench I've accumulated while inside.

Stay safe Ebbie.

From Your Dear Brother,

Prawnt

P.S. I got a letter the day after that. It told me I was qualified enough to be Elga's Minion! I just lol'd.