Toneboy's blog

Five-0 - It's The Little Things

2025-04-30T23:47:00.000+01:00

I moved to my current job around three and a half years ago. For the first time I found myself having "on-call" duties, whereby I'm somewhat at the mercy of my work phone.

I won't go into exact details, but as part of these duties are weekend on-call. Some weekends are busy, some are not, and there is very little that is predictable about it. Therefore I find myself watching TV shows that don't require commitment, a lot of attention and yet still provide entertainment and a means to relax. And that's how I came to spending those Saturdays watching Hawaii Five-0 marathons on Sky Max.

Fast forward a few years, we've culled our Sky subscription somewhat, and I've now been working my way through the series on a nightly basis on Sky Mix. Here's what I've come to like:

1) The Best Theme Music In TV History?

If it isn't the best, it isn't far away from being the best. While clearly recorded more recently, it is recognisable from the original series. In the titles themselves they even put Alex O'Loughlin on the same hotel balcony as Jack Lord was on all those years ago, that's a nice touch.

2) The Scenery

In the credits there is a mention of Hawaii Tax Credits. Hawaii should pay for it all! The location scenes, not to mention the clips of the island that are spliced between the scenes, are a wonderful advert to the beautiful islands.

(Excuse me while I go on Skyscanner to look at flight prices... yeah, that dream will have to wait a while.)

3) The Characters

Honestly, I think I've come to like just about every single one. Not enough time to go into detail here though.

4) Carguments

One of the more famous things to come from the show are the "carguments" between Steve McGarett and Danny Williams. I can spot one of these coming, and have even come to enjoy the way they have stretched the genre to boats, flights and even on occasion to side-by-side hospital beds.

5) The Element of Surprise

The show is typically action-packed and easy to watch, but there have been times where courses have been changed. There have been multiple episodes where the military and the history of Pearl Harbor have been honoured, while an episode that touched on grief and mental health was both poignant and incredibly well done.

6) Eddie!

Because honestly, who doesn't love a Golden Labrador? Even better, in one episode he saves nine people - including series regulars Tani and Junior - from a road tunnel collapse, in an episode I absolutely loved.

7) The Tech

Hmm, can I please have a tablet that doubles as a coffee table, and also allows me to check in on the criminal records of suspects, as well as their banking and phone records? It's an incredibly cool piece of kit.

(It is just a mock-up sadly, but it is awesome. More details in this video.)

8) Did I Mention The Theme Music?

This isn't to say that the series is perfect. Some episodes don't work, I hated the way that Daniel Dae-Kim and Grace Park left after series seven, episodes without Scott Caan miss a certain saltiness, and the writer ended up being let go for toxic practices.

But would I like to be without this show for times when I'm stuck in the house and need to be entertained? No I wouldn't. Book 'em, Danno.

Life In Maps

2022-10-21T12:00:00.007+01:00

I thought it might be interesting to return to blogging with something a bit more visual, namely a comparison of the places I've lived in. Let's get started with the first place I remember.

Cornwall: Although I wasn't born there my first memories were of village life in Cornwall. Take a look at this - just the one street really! To be honest, I think at the ages I lived there I don't think I was ever old enough to go up and down the street by myself. The road was pretty busy and cars didn't waste time getting through there. I don't really remember any of the shops there. I do remember the local restaurant, which I'm pretty sure was run by friends of my parents. I also remember the local chippy, if only for the colourful bottles of Corona which used to fascinate me.

Somerset: I zoomed out a bit on this one. Take a look at all the green space! I don't think I used the streets much when I lived in Somerset either, although to all intents and purposes the fields were our streets. I was outside a lot doing one thing or another. It provided independence but in somewhere where it was completely safe to do so. The village school (centre) was a matter of minutes away, which was both a blessing (you didn't have to leave home until literally the last minute) and a curse (it was always there, if that makes sense).

Somewhere in life I became more of city person, but I really appreciated the outdoors and being able to get outside and play while we lived in Somerset. We left Somerset when I was eleven, at which point the housing estate at the top of the picture was also just a field.

Hampshire: Ah, Hampshire suburbia. It looks a lot more urban, but the look is somewhat deceiving. Most homes, the ones that I visited at least, had back gardens. There were a lot more houses closely together. I was older and enjoyed the freedom of walking further to school and also to friends' houses. As I got older buses would take me to college and friends that were even further afield. It was the ideal way to transition to the independence a young adult enjoys. The house of my best friend's parents is in this photo (no, I'm not telling you where), the scene of many a happy Friday night.

University: After my A levels university took me to North London. Although within this area there has been one very significant change (one easily spotted by football fans), the overall theme hasn't changed. Look how packed in everything is, the volume of grey for either roads or buildings is astonishing. You were always aware of the concentration and busyness of London.

What I've forgotten in nearly a quarter of a century of being away is just how often I walked between places. For my last two years at university I was in Lower Edmonton, and I typically wouldn't think much about walking the 45 minutes to or from campus. Ahh, to have that kind of free time again.

Southern California: To conclude I thought I'd include the area of Southern California I visited for two months after my graduation from university. It felt as if Southern California had a suburbia of their very own while I was out there, but there were a mass of options for things to do when I wasn't seeing friends. Again I would typically walk here, there and everywhere, and get funny looks and questions for doing so. (Not shown: the infamous 5 freeway with the nightmarish, smog-creating traffic jams that would take commuters to and from Los Angeles, approximately an hour or so northwest from where I stayed.)

Firsts Without Mum

2020-03-22T15:30:00.000+00:00

Mother's Day is a special day, unless your Mum is no longer around. For the first time this is the situation I find myself in, following my Mum's passing last September.

Mum really hadn't been well since 2011, when she had been formally diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and subsequently blindness. In 2017 I was told her health had deteriorated further. The Mum that I saw then was bedridden, enduring kidney failure, deprived of her sight and seemingly always in discomfort if not outright pain.

Consequently when my Step Dad told me six months ago that Mum had passed away it was sudden, but it wasn’t altogether a shock. Naturally, this doesn’t make it any less horrifically final. I had anticipated there would be an occasion where I would be told “Mum has so long left,” but that never transpired.

Grieving has been odd. Due to Spanish custom Mum was buried the day after she died, and due to a number of factors I wasn’t able to make my way out there for her funeral (N.B. I think this is an important consideration for anyone else who thinks about retiring to Spain who might not otherwise be aware of it). In recent days I’ve realised that I don’t even have anywhere near home that is a favourite place of Mum’s, or somewhere that I would equate with her. Never mind a grave, there’s nowhere nearby for me to remember her.

To begin with I was a bit concerned about how I felt after Mum died. Even now I’ve not shed a single tear (although my eyes watered when I remembered threatening the magician who called her up to help with a trick at one of my birthday parties with a toy gun), to the point where I’ve wondered what’s wrong with me. I can try and justify that by saying that she’s no longer suffering (which I absolutely believe), but due to not being at her funeral and not even having anywhere locally to remember her I do wonder if it still hasn’t properly hit me yet.

In recent days, and even in the course of typing this, I feel like it has hit me, but in unexpected ways. I’m living life in somewhat of a malaise. My motivation has been lacking, in just about every respect of life. Self-care, in regard to simple things like going to bed at a sensible time, hasn’t been evident.

Is this just due to Mum's passing? Separate to anything else, this is a very significant life event. It is one which most of us go through, and it inevitably leads to a period of introspection. Certainly I’ve thought lots of times about how her last few years should not have been the way they were.

The past six months have been a slow-winding road of going through events which would have been significant to her. Her wedding anniversary, a birthday (she died shortly before she would have turned 70) a Christmas. Perhaps the toughest moment to this point was my eldest’s recent parents' night at school, where all her teachers glowed about what a great kid she is and how they want her to continue with their subject. In past years I’ve always been quick to proudly pass that onto Mum, only this year I couldn’t, and to be perfectly honest that sucked.

All of these events have been in their own way different and difficult, but not as much as I anticipate Mother’s Day being for me, because this is a day that only she and I shared. That’s all part of both the burden and privilege of being someone’s only child. I remember now when my Gran died my Aunt saying about missing her Mum even at the age of 58. In my personal experience this is the same regardless of age. Young or old, it is nice to run things past your Mum, share good news with her, anything and everything. Lacking the ability to do that leaves an enormous gap.

I look back and realise only now how valuable my Mum's support of me was. Too often I would think "Of course you're going to say that, you're my Mum," instead of thinking how nice it was that her support was there. Too often I would think about how my Dad wasn't supportive, or that validation from my peers was more important (in that in some form you had to earn it). While in some ways this is something you have to figure this out yourself, I think I still could have appreciated it more.

In later years physical distance did make things a bit more difficult. After moving to Spain in 1998 Mum never came back to Britain. She wasn’t at my wedding. She didn’t really have a relationship with her daughter-in-law, and by her own choice never met her granddaughters. Friends made jokes about my parents not existing, which I couldn’t even return fire in a jokey way about because I understood why people would think that. My impression was that people thought I wasn’t close to my Mum because of that, when in fact I understood it all too well. I knew how many people had hurt Mum, and just how many people she never wanted to see again.

Nobody hurt my Mum more than my Dad did. She always feared him turning up at her door, even in a remote corner of Spain that you could not simply stumble upon. While I don’t think I ever thought it was particularly rational, that showed just how he was a dark cloud over her life, even from hundreds of miles away. Thankfully from my point of view her final eighteen months were free of that fear after I had belatedly been told my Dad’s own passing.

I’m at least glad that I put aside the time for more frequent, regular contact with her in her later years. We had become more like peers, I sensed more respect for some decisions I made (even while I protected her from particular life events), and less comparisons with my Dad. Her mind was sharp right up to and including the last time I spoke to her. Given her physical condition, I’m still not sure if that was a blessing or a curse.

Either way, I’ll always feel that Mum should have had a longer, healthier and happier retirement. Whether that was due to all the years that she smoked, not being active enough, something else or just bad luck I’ll never know (I was told they typically don’t carry out post mortems in Spain, so I don’t know the reason for why she died - another thing you should know if you’re considering retiring to Spain). Despite her suffering she loved life, right up to the end. She still had a lot to give and a lot of wisdom to impart. I’m thankful for what she passed on. Thank you Mum, miss you always.

Looking Back: My Move to Scotland

2017-09-02T09:00:00.000+01:00

"Driving away from home
Thirty miles or more
And we'll go moving away from home
Without a care in the world"
"Driving Away From Home" - It's Immaterial

Last Wednesday marked the 20th anniversary of my move to Scotland. As I left my friend Chris's home in the North West and headed up the M6 (listening to how Palace were losing at home to Blackburn on the way) I could not have foreseen what the following years would bring.

I first made some Scottish friends in the summer of 1994, when a group of 4 girls came to visit my parents' Church and my parents offered one of them a room. This wasn't without issue, as a friend of mine (whose name may be an anagram of the word "Tap") speculated in a particularly amusing way that she must have an horrendous anger problem. To be honest, in that particular case, he wasn't wrong. However in a short time close friendships formed, and a fair number of my friends in Hampshire returned the favour by visiting Scotland over the coming months. I was quite late to the party, and didn't get the opportunity to visit until February of 1995. I spent two really fun weeks there and got back to my university home so late that my housemates wondered if I was coming back. To be honest, a big part of me didn't want to be back.

That didn't mean that I would always feel that way. My visit the following February went so badly that I said I would never come back. Instead I was back barely six months later, where things arguably went worse and I was certain I would never come back. To use my favourite Bill Simmons quote, "The lesson as always, I'm an idiot." And if you don't think I'm an idiot, try doing what I did and tell a girl what a good person you are for forgiving her for lying to you. With a bit of luck you too can experience a silent train journey out of Edinburgh while she paints her nails. Good times!

Luckily for me my Scottish friends are - and indeed continue to be - very forgiving (also exceptionally kind and unbelievably generous, don't expect your typical stereotypes here as they just aren't true). And so I stayed in touch, back in a time that people sent actual letters, phoned and hoped that people would be in to take the call and even sent a fax on occasion (in my case when I had my long awaited hernia operation in the autumn of 1996). As a recent graduate without a permanent job the invitation I received to move there when I visited in April 1997 was one I accepted, although not without some serious consideration first.

So anyway, looking back, what have I learned?

1 - Visiting Somewhere Is Not The Same As Living Somewhere

As I settled in Scotland I went about the things that you do. You find a job, you register with a Doctor, who get to find favourite new places to replace your former favourite places. I tried to make the best of living alone for the first time, watching favourite films (ok, just Top Gun) over and over and over again in my flat. It was fine, until it wasn't, and I realised - much to my surprise - that I was homesick.

On the occasions that I wasn't falling out with people or trudging around shin-deep in snow, I had loved visiting Scotland. I never ever expected to be homesick. It was a shock to the system, and something that lots of calls back home to friends made easier. Not that it was altogether easy. Mobile phones weren't commonplace yet and therefore people like my best friend weren't available to speak to at all. Visiting usually came in two week periods of time, and they would end, and I knew at some point that I would be back somewhere that I knew and was completely comfortable. Committing to somewhere for a prolonged period changes your thinking and your actions somewhat. This leads to point 2.

2 - I Didn't Lean On My Local Friends Enough

Unlike some people who move somewhere new, I had plenty of friends. However I didn't want to be a burden, and so I didn't lean on them for support. I concentrated upon making further new friends (none of whom were as close as my previous friends), writing home, working (often late, just due to shift hours) and amusing myself by myself.

Just after the New Year it was pointed out to me that plenty of my friends weren't really seeing a lot of me. I was staying in Bellshill at the time, which happened to be the wrong side of where everybody tended to meet. I was a bit isolated, but not terribly so. What I needed to do was to work harder at being a friend, and make myself more available. I don't think you can do it forever, but when you make such a move you need help to settle in.

3 - I Didn't Lean On My Old Friends Enough

Within two months of moving I was back to see Chris for a weekend. At the time Chris was just a stone's throw from a junction of the M6, just about 3 hours or so from the flat I was renting. And so I left work, drove South, stayed on Friday, watched Palace win at Sheffield Wednesday on the Saturday, went to an Indie club in Manchester that night before having a Sunday morning viewing of Match of the Day prior to heading home.

The right way to handle homesickness? Possibly not, but it worked for me. Realistically, I should have done it more.

That isn't to say that I didn't get away, but I didn't necessarily call upon the right people. On one occasion I went to see an old friend in Romford, which would have been fine if 1) They weren't well-meaningly trying to set me up with a friend (which I wouldn't have said no to at the time), and 2) If I hadn't had one of the worst meals I've ever had in my life, pasta with a garlic sauce so potent I just couldn't finish it. Overall it wasn't a way to unwind.

I picked my spots about coming down, sometimes very poorly. I was invited back to a friend's 21st and feeling that homesickness combined with a party with old friends might be the final straw to what was increasingly looking like a bad idea, I declined the invite. I was going to speak to the birthday girl on the day though, so the night before when I was invited out I planned to make the best of it. Instead I had an absolutely horrendous night, culminating in missing a motorway junction and getting lost. The following morning on the phone I lied through my teeth about how much I was enjoying life in Scotland.

Fact is, if I had been honest with more of my old friends I think that they absolutely been willing to help me. However they couldn't do that if I didn't tell them the truth. I really thought that I would move to Scotland and everything would fall into place: home, career, personal life. It did everything but (especially career wise, as I going to a job I hated) and I didn't want to admit it. I wasn't just lonely and homesick, I was a lonely, homesick liar.

4 - I Didn't Diversify My Friends Enough

This particular issue didn't really cause problems until I had lived here for nearly seven years. Although I was married by this point my wife and I were still part of a pretty big social group. It was really our only social group, and we never saw what was coming.

I don't think it serves any purpose to say why it happened, but the larger group irreparably fractured. Friendships that predated my arrival by many years were destroyed. Although it was not in any way the fault of either of us, my wife and I found ourselves stuck in the middle of it all. It was a point where no decision was a decision, and we were seen to be taking sides. It was an awful time when in fact Lorraine and I had plenty to appreciate (career stability, a nice holiday a few months away, plans to start a family).

To this day we remain somewhat collateral damage of this, as there are plenty of sadly former friends who no longer speak to us. There are times I want to label it as pathetic, when it is just terribly sad. And we were by no means the biggest victim of it all. A matter of weeks ago I saw one of the former friends in a local supermarket. Frankly I was somewhat relieved when she didn't see me. Unfortunately among this group that isn't unusual.

Shortly after I moved to Scotland a group of what I guess would have been about 15 of us went out for lunch to celebrate a member of the group's birthday. From that entire group I'm now friends with a mere handful of them.

Over time I've become more diversified in my friendships. I've got work colleagues, parents of my daughters' friends and even - say it quietly! - in-laws. You can't put all your eggs in one basket, as the saying goes.

I'll be right back after this musical interlude, a song I always think about in regard to relationships which have taken a turn for the worst. There's a lot to be said about forgiveness.

The Heart of the Matter - The Eagles from Chris G on Vimeo.

5 - Family Kept Me Here... The Future, Who Knows?

What helped me with loneliness and homesickness all those years ago? The woman who eventually became my wife.

Earlier this summer I had the opportunity to return South. I was offered a job back South of the border following a speculative interview. Two things kept me from accepting the offer, 1) A murderous drive home up the M6, and 2) The knowledge that my daughters are settled where they are. This was all before I began to seriously investigate the cost of housing back in the South of England (I'm somewhat aware of the gap in housing prices, and worry that it makes returning permanently at any point in the future an impossible proposition).

Whenever I go back to Selhurst Park to watch Palace I end up tweeting a photo from my seat and refer to being "back home". Home can mean a lot of things, but in regard to being relaxed, comfortable and glad to be there going to watch Palace does feel like home (at least until the visiting team scores, which seems to happen more often than not these days).

Under the same definition home with my wife and daughters is also clearly home, but is the wider environment around me? Due to the commitments of being a husband and father I'm once again less able to make time for my friends, and if I end up scheduling time for friends it ends up being for those who are further afield. East Sussex, Birmingham, just outside Manchester, they can all feel like home when you're around the right people.

I miss lots of my old friends, but I especially miss my best friend Neil. I'd love to be nearer to him and to do more socially with him. If I were nearer him I would be nearer to a lot of other friends as well. Things would certainly be different, but could I confirm they would be better?

Realistically I don't think I would ever willingly be separated by a great distance from my daughters. But what if they move? Where do I place myself then? The thought of being one of those sad fathers who has his daughters worrying about him all the time doesn't really appeal to me, I want them to thrive, get on and do great things with their lives.

Reviewing this makes it seem that I either do or should regret moving here, when I honestly don't, despite what have frequently been difficult circumstances. I know life isn't all smooth sailing, but I ultimately want my life here to be considered under my own terms as a success. Thankfully I still have more time to get those things right.

What's wrong with Riviera?

2017-07-19T13:00:00.000+01:00

Unless you go around with your eyes closed you can't have missed the many billboards advertising Riviera on Sky Atlantic. Given the channel's previous choice of programming, including personal favourites Mad Men and The Affair (not to mention Game of Thrones, which isn't my thing, sorry), I thought I would give it a shot.

The first few episodes were pretty good, setting the story of American newly-wed Georgina (Julia Stiles) living in Monaco when her professional life in the art world is brutally interrupted by the death of her husband, banking magnate Constantine (Antony LaPaglia).

Sadly since the first few episodes the programme has stalled, for many reasons that I will detail below.

1) Weak Characters

Now there is every possibility that I'm not paying close enough attention, but Georgina and Constantine are the only characters I know by name. There's the ex-wife, the stereotypical rich kid laying waste to the family inheritance, the slightly more sensitive son, the self-harming/always high daughter. Outside the family there's Georgina's obviously British male friend who nobody questions the presence of (which seems odd when she's just been widowed, surely someone would be bothered by this?), but I don't know his name either. There's the driven policeman who seems to have something about him, and guess what? Yes, I don't know who he is either.

These are just the characters I care about. There are a plethora of other characters here, there and everywhere around Monaco who add practically nothing to the show. That's poor. Mad Men were always careful to drip-feed characters into place, while The Affair started with an incredibly small core cast and only added other characters slowly. There are lessons to be learned there. And if characters are going to be added, try to give them a profile that is a bit more original than the one provided to the prodigal son here. Personally part of the appeal of Mad Men was frequently seeing good and bad from the very same characters, there is no such subtlety here.

2) Subject Matter

My wife and I had a rather odd thing happen during episode 3 of Riviera. Instead of sitting with me my wife got up, started ironing and generally getting on with things. At the end of the episode I pointed out how she had been busy, and asked if she wanted me to keep the episode on our Sky+ box for her to watch later. At that point she admitted that she didn't like it.

I thought about it for a while and realised that this isn't a show for everyone. Mad Men threw power, sexism, affairs, broken families and nostalgia for the 1960s into their mix. The Affair threw a compelling lead character with a troubled past, consequences upon all the characters from the actual affair. Going a bit further back Prison Break had the underlying theme of family loyalty and fighting injustice, while Homeland explored national loyalty, self-belief and betrayal (of all kinds). I'd say they're pretty universal themes. Throw those up against international banking and the art world. Hmm... not really comparable.

(In a nice irony for a show that I think is trying too hard to make a clever point about dodgy financing there is a line towards the end of the credits which points out that the production receives tax breaks for filming in France, which personally I quite enjoy.)

3) "We speak English over 'ere"

No, I'm not being completely ignorant. For a show based in Monaco I would expect characters to speak French. If you're going to dumb it down for the audience and people like myself who can't speak French, then have everyone speak English. Not the odd line in French, but then have them speaking in English again a moment later annoys me absolutely no end. This was the precise reason why Marie Calvet was my least favourite character in Mad Men, due to her random switching between speaking French and English.

4) Sudden and Extreme Violence

Self-harming daughter with a pair or scissors sticking out of her arm? Check. Girl being solicited in a car suddenly stabbing someone in the eye? Check. That isn't for me. Ever. I'm just not a big fan of violence, I'm especially not so when it comes out of nowhere. There's nothing wrong with bad things being merely implied instead of brutally shown.

There are some things that Riviera does well. I think Julia Stiles holds the show together as well as possible, the ex-wife/matriarch makes things a bit interesting (I do wonder somewhat what would have happened if they had made her the axis of the show instead), and the setting is fantastic. However overall there are too many avenues that appear to lead nowhere. I'm probably going to stick with the show for the remainder of series one as I'm halfway through it now, but I hope that they choose to wrap it up cleanly. I think one series of this will be sufficient unless something significant changes.

Quick Thoughts on Jonathan Martin & Richie Incognito

2014-03-31T21:48:00.000+01:00

I've been short of time this month, but I just wanted to post some quick thoughts on Jonathan Martin/Richie Incognito affair, and the effect of it upon my favourite NFL team, the Miami Dolphins. For anyone unfamiliar with the story, Martin left the team in mid-season because of alleged bullying, led by Incognito. Firstly, and most importantly, when Dolphins veteran John Denney was asked for his opinion on the Wells report, he stated, "Ted Wells can go into any one of the 32 teams in the entire league and he's going to come out with the same investigation, same results." I think this is really important to state. I have read countless articles over the years which have praised the standards and setup of the Pittsburgh Steelers, so why did former Steeler and Dolphin of a mere few months Mike Wallace come to the defence of Incognito? Because I suspect the kind of hazing/teasing/pranks that took place are standard across the league. Does this make Incognito innocent in all the proceedings? Clearly not, and actions such as seeking to burn the fine book detailed in the Wells Report show that (and obviously the repeated use of racist terms is unacceptable). In my opinion though, that shows someone who has been pampered to due to his athletic ability, throughout his life, and has never been disciplined or told in any form that such behaviour is wrong. Now don't get me wrong, boys will be boys. Jonathan Martin complained about comments about his sister. Workmates of mine have seen pictures of my sister and made comments, and while they have not been to the same extremes, they haven't always been tasteful either. Have I complained? No, because such chat goes on between guys, and I know they're not being serious. As I've mentioned before, I moved around a fair bit through my childhood, and this led to some difficult times being the new kid at various schools. Do you know when the bullying stopped? When I stopped showing that it bothered me. Sometimes you have to make a change yourself, however difficult that may be, however unjust it may seem that you have to be the one to make a change first. Additionally, the way both the initial affair and subsequent report were detailed in the media were not balanced. Did anyone report that Martin, for whatever reason he deemed correct, talk about women in the same way as Incognito? Did anyone mention that in his lowest times Martin admitted to being an abuser of alcohol and controlled substances? No, because they didn't suit the narrative. Incognito, the guy with trouble in his past, Martin from a family of Harvard graduates, who himself attended highly regarded Stanford. To be clear, I don't think that either Incognito or the Dolphins have behaved perfectly in this whole affair. Indeed, I think it is the latest in a long line of public relations disasters under the ownership of Stephen Ross, and Incognito has more than enough on his record to show he is a less than stellar character (although on the evidence of his damaging his own sports car with a baseball bat, I also suspect mental health issues). However I don't think Jonathan Martin's move to San Francisco will be the last time we hear of him being involved in some form of controversy. For his sake, I hope I'm wrong.

In Defence of Gran Turismo 6

2014-02-26T15:43:00.000+00:00

Following the launch of Gran Turismo 6 last November I looked forward to receiving it at Christmas. When Gran Turismo 5 came out my pre-order was quickly snaffled away by my wife for Christmas, and so on this occasion I by-passed the pre-order and accepted it would be a Christmas present. Between the release and my receiving it, I was somewhat surprised by the criticism, but with the present purchased a few weeks prior to Christmas I didn't consider returning it.

Do I regret that at all? Not in the slightest. I really enjoyed Gran Turismo 5, and my enjoyment of Gran Turismo 6 has lasted for a solid two months, and I don't think it will stop at any point soon. For one thing, it has met my biggest need from Gran Turismo 5, namely more circuits. Having visited Brands Hatch, I love having both the Indy and Grand Prix circuits to drive around. Having watched countless races from Silverstone, I love having all manner of Silverstone configurations to drive round. Additionally, the sadly fictional Apricot Hill is a fabulous circuit, offering challenging fast turns, an opportunity to get into a nice rhthym, and lots of overtaking opportunities amid the rolling contours.

(Billionaire to-do list: Build the Apricot Hill circuit in real life. I won't ever have an opportunity to do so, but if someone could that would be awesome, thanks.)

So why the criticism? Because the game isn't very different to GT5? So driving on the moon and on a hillclimb aren't different? The licence tests are now required to progress throughout the game, and if you throw in the coffee break challenges there is plenty of new content there. Because you don't see every intimate detail inside every car? That's a criticism I have never understood, although I'm more of a race fan than a car fan, with a keener interest in the circuits and driving on them as well as possible instead of as beautifully as possible. Because sounds of collisions still sound, as one critic suggested, "like elbowing a fridge"? Well, to be fair I can't argue that last point.

My biggest bug-bears are the absence of the colossal rewards that some of the seasonal challenges offered in Gran Turismo 5, and complete disappearance of the Ferrari Formula 1 cars. While the F2007 was pretty challenging to drive, the rewards from setting it up perfectly and then driving it well rank as some of the most enjoyable moments I've had from any video game. I wish they would come back, although I suspect if the cars were not in the game at launch then there is no plan to add them later. Polyphony Digital, feel free to swap these in for the Ascari circuit, which looks pretty in an overhead plan but which is too twisty to really let loose and have fun on.

I have come to enjoy the opportunity to experience the longer races (i.e. ten, fifteen and twenty minute races), but an opportunity for further control over races would be welcome, as in fact would the opportunity to take part in the endurance races which although daunting where nice to take part in on days off from work. Opposition driver AI needs some work as well, for with the exception of occasional swerving from the racing line their refusal to fight overtaking sometimes takes the challenge away. Perhaps one day there will be the opportunity to change the challenges you face, whether that be in regard to AI aggression or to AI tactics in general. Want to run long on a set of hard tires? Why shouldn't an AI driver go to soft tires for a faster set of laps in a longer race?

I would suspect at this point that such resources and options may be saved for Gran Turismo 7, which will ultimately be the point that I will need to decide whether I'm a 40-something with a wife and two kids who is happy to "make do" with a PS3 or someone who feels younger than they actually are and who can't be without a PS4 and the opportunity to blast around Laguna Seca in Gran Turismo's latest incarnation. While I enjoy the present game the three year gap between GT5 and GT6 seems to set a precedent, along with a clock ticking. For the time being I will continue to enjoy GT6 on the PS3, and occasionally think ahead to what I might need to ask the family to put under the Christmas tree for me in 2016.

Words, Thoughts, Expectations and Considerations

2014-01-31T23:18:00.001+00:00

Last week at work my shift colleagues and I were considering what the day may bring, when one of my colleagues spoke out in unusual confidence, stating that we were going to have a good day. I couldn't help but warn him, "Don't say that," but an odd thing happened, the day did actually go pretty well. The weird thing about this? It showed that ultimately what we say doesn't really have any power over anything.

Why is this a big deal to me? Ever since I was young I learned not to boast about what I might or might not do, for fear of the worst happening. In recent years that has only increased, to the point where I wonder why my colleagues ask what I have planned for my days off. Nothing is set in stone any more, I'm always gearing for the worst, or at least attempting to. Sometimes even your worst projections don't cover all eventualities, or worse still, you're completely blindsided by what has taken place.

What is the worst case scenario that people talk about? How about the numerous people, who have recounted to us for years about how they didn't receive support while their children grew up, lost a home, encountered health problems due to overworking to meet commitments, etc. Are they wishing this on us? Of course not, but as soon as someone mentions it I end up thinking, "Well, that's obviously going to happen to us." Does it have to be this way? Certainly not. To I expect all the worst case scenarios to become reality? Yes. Does that make sense? No.

Although I don't think it is really talked about, you reach points in your life where you realise that you still have a lot to learn. Part of me thinks, "I'm 38, I should have everything figured out by now," although I clearly don't. I'm really just coming to realise that at the moment I'm a strange blend of pessimist and fatalist, where I expect things to go wrong and just accept that I can't change them. When it comes to other people, I can't change them, but when it comes to myself, my family, and things which I may not be able to altogether control but may have an opportunity to influence, then I owe it to myself to do everything I can to seek the best for my family.

Some of the issues that I see at work on a daily basis are brought about by expectancies. These come in all manner of forms, the expectancy that a service will break, that a team member may call up and ask for a holiday, or even the self-expectancy that I expect better performance from myself. What is the expectancy I have from life? That things are bad, that they will continue to be bad and that they won't get better. And so I come back to the lifelong battle I've had with my parents, where they exhort me to "think positive" and I wonder what the justification is for seeing anything positive on the horizon. Even then, every once in a while something positive does come along, even a pessimist like me sees that. The difficulty is in making changes to make positive events more frequent.

One of the changes I am going to need to make is to pay less attention to others. When I think about career options I consider what my in-laws will think. When my kids aren't happy I consider what other parents might think. When thinking about what I'm doing with my days off I think about what my colleagues will think about what I'm doing, and whether or not they think my life is boring/miserable/dull? I need to be less considerate of a lot of people, and actually put myself and my family first more often. Will everyone like it? I suspect not. Does it hopefully mean a better future for myself and my family? I hope so. Will all be plain sailing? Almost certainly not, but eventually we'll get there, in one form or another.

Ch-ch-ch-anges

2013-12-31T14:07:00.000+00:00

This has been a year with a number of changes, both personal and technical, so I thought it may be interesting to write a bit about some of them here.

1) Shift Changes
In September my team at work, which had been running on shifts of four days on/four days off/four nights on/four days off switched to a trial of two days on/two nights on/four days off. I had really become accustomed to that pattern, I felt it really suited me, and I especially loved the night before my first nightshift. That was a time that I could catch up on my Sky+ recordings, play some games and generally have a little me time.

Now I don't have that. I tried staying up late after my second dayshift, but it didn't work. Lots of experimenting saw that the only way I can really work with this is to go to bed at a normal time after my second dayshift, and then get a sleep in the afternoon before my first nightshift. It's had a bit of a negative impact upon my personal life, but I've been able to get through work without feeling too tired.

2) No More Google Reader
For a number of years I had become somewhat of a Google Reader addict. For me it was the easiest way to keep in touch with my RSS feeds, especially the Lifehacker feed which frequently published over 20 items a day.

I held out until the end, hoping that Google would change their mind and continue to support Reader. However they proceeded with the shutdown as planned on July 1st, and I had to switch. I tried Digg Reader, but for some reason I didn't like it as much.

Additionally just after Google Reader died a digital death Lifehacker carried out what felt like their umpteenth instance of needless tinkering with their RSS feed, again changing their RSS feed so that only part of an article was shown. Their intention was clearly to drive more traffic to the site itself, but by doing this again at a time when I was considering the usefulness of RSS readers they managed to change my behaviour entirely. I unsubscribed from the RSS feed and began to follow them on Twitter instead.

So I'm no longer an RSS junkie. I was a Twitter junkie already, so that behaviour is unchanged, but Lifehacker are seeing much less traffic from me (N.B. I retweet them frequently, as I think their writers are usually fantastic). I keep a few low volume feeds in Digg Reader, but to be honest I can't remember the last time I even logged into it.

3) Farewell ESPN America
Although I had already unsubscribed, I was still disappointed when ESPN America went off the air on August 1st as part of the reshuffle of sports channels that saw the start of the BT Sport service. The disappearance of the only sports channel specifically for North American sport was disappointing, and forced me into a position where I could only keep up with my favourite shows by podcast (Pardon the Interruption, Highly Questionable) or in some cases not at all (yep, I've really missed College Gameday this season).

While I'm not party to the ESPN decision making process I wonder if part of the reason for the channel's ultimate demise was the restrictive nature of the highlights they were able to show, and the ultimate effect it had upon many of their programmes, including the flagship SportsCenter franchise.

In addition to being reduced to being a podcast listener, I've also come to find meagre highlights and features on various YouTube channels. To find other highlights and clips I've had to become somewhat of a YouTube ninja, and while this has been bearable (along with my reduced quantity of TV watching), I do still miss it somewhat.

Ultimately I look forward (hopefully) to a time where media rights can be eliminated, and programmes like Pardon the Interruption can be shown globally in their intended format. Until then I'll just have to get by in the way I do at the moment. It may sound naïve, but with torrenting and streaming still prevalent I think major channels like ESPN and Sky will look to find a way to monetise their broadcasts globally rather than losing out on additional income.

JFK: Random Thoughts 50 Years On

2013-12-23T19:01:00.000+00:00

Firstly, sorry that this is a bit later than planned. I ended up having a pretty busy November, and didn't get time to complete this by the end of the month.

Perhaps though that's an indication of where I've personally reached with the most famous assassination of the 20th century. In 1993 for the 30th anniversary I watched and read as much as I possibly could in regard to it, taking on conspiracy theories, retrospectives and critical examinations of JFK's presidency itself. Now I'm a bit older, and in amid everything else that makes up daily life it doesn't seem so important anymore. With the responsibilities I have myself, I have less time to involve myself with things like this that do not directly affect me.

Additionally I've noticed a shift in attitudes in regard to the assassination. In the vast majority of the shows that I've watched or listened to, there seems to be much more acceptance of Lee Harvey Oswald having carried out at least a part in the assassination. This certainly wasn't the case 20 years ago, and while it strikes me as being a bit too convenient perhaps there are bigger conspiracy theories to mull over that have taken place since then.

I wonder as well if the questions, suggestions and in some cases outright accusations of 9/11 conspiracy theorists have played a part in the reduction of conspiracy theories in regard to JFK's assassination. Personally I look at these and think that a lot of these diminish everything from the credibility of architects (buildings are meant to survive fully loaded jetliners flying into them, really?) to the bravery of victims (sure, United 93 was shot down and the actions of passengers were nothing to do with preventing the flight from reaching Washington). When I think about these theories and then wonder about the JFK conspiracies I do find myself considering whether or not it was similar people who promoted such theories in the last 50 years.

In saying that though, JFK presents the perfect storm for conspiracy theorists. The Russians, Cubans, the Mafia, the CIA, Communists and those who hated Communists. I don't think the soap opera bearing the name of the city JFK was killed in had such a wide range of suspects when JR was shot.

On a praiseworthy note, it was nice to see some new media that I had not seen before that managed to stay within the realms of taste and decency. National Geographic's investigation in to JFK's last days, and his influence upon ordinary members of the public who he met in Texas prior to the assassination was poignant. A short BBC clip on the part that the Blackwatch played at JFK's funeral was new to me. The George Clooney-narrated documentary on the media's coverage of the assassination was compelling, and while arguably trivial, a long-form article on what exactly happened to the original casket which took JFK from Dallas back to Washington was far more interesting than it should have been.

Of course not all media chose to go down that route. JFK: The Lost Bullet was in my opinion an attempt to justify repeated showings of the Zapruder film, in HD no less (as they also told us repeatedly). It became so bloodthirsty I couldn’t justify watching it to what I understand was a ludicrous finish.

I found myself wondering if the horror suffered by the Kennedy family was forgotten somewhat. I know the most significant living member of JFK's family today is his daughter Caroline, who recently began a post as US ambassador to Japan. While looking to balance historical perspective with a gaudy sense of intrusion, I do wonder just how much the horrific and public loss of his father had upon John F. Kennedy, Jr. Everyone remembers his farewell salute to his father, but how many people remember that was on his 3rd birthday? My eldest remembers things from a frightfully early age, so I do wonder what if anything he remembered, or if indeed that played any part in his fatal plane crash that he was at the controls for.

And then of course there is Jackie Kennedy. So much of an influence over so many people I have known over the years, especially my Mum. I pondered if there was a post-assassination bump in her popularity, similar to those I've witnessed to the likes of Freddie Mercury and Kurt Cobain after their deaths. Clearly Jackie's dignity and strength immediately following the murder of her husband is awe-inspiring, and I can see why people like my Mum would appreciate her style and grace. Did history treat her kindly? Yes, as I'd like to think a widow should be treated. Did history fully record her abilities in supporting her husband on the campaign trail, and later in life as a business woman and matriarch? I would suggest not. Through no fault of her own, too much is made of a blood-stained pink outfit and not enough of the woman who wore it.

Will we ever consider the assassination in such a way again? I expect we won't. Personally I don't class 60 years as a big anniversary, and by the time the 75th anniversary comes round there will be even less living witnesses to the horror of that day, and also unfortunately there will probably be another horrific world event that will be a new generation's "Where were you when…" moment. For a subject matter that fascinated me and a time in history that still interests me, I'd like to visit the Sixth Floor Museum and Dealey Plaza as a whole, to put myself in that area and to picture that time, just to help me understand it better. I'm not sure all the big questions are fully answered, but I don't think they will be definitively during my lifetime, and it is debatable at this point whether it really matters anymore.

A Month In Sporting Torment

2013-10-31T21:35:00.001+00:00

Anyone who knows me really well knows I love sport, and especially my teams, but to say the least this month hasn't been the happiest month sports-wise. When I say it hasn't gone well, I mean it has been historically bad. Let's take it team-by-team:

Crystal Palace: Lost every single game, including a 4-1 home defeat to Fulham which included an incredible goal (I refuse to use the term "worldie") by Fulham striker Pajtim Kasami. This culminated in the departure by mutual consent of manager Ian Holloway, who I had only passed and said good morning to a month earlier prior to our home defeat by Swansea City. Really, really not a good day. For reasons I never completely understood Holloway wasn't completely accepted by some members of the Palace support, and although I had seen us play badly under his watch an element of patience, a delivered promotion and a personal belief that he was a good guy (backed up by this link found by my friend Ben after his departure) I felt it was a shame he left. I think we're poorer for his exit, regardless of present form.

Atlanta Braves: It's October, time for more Baseball heartache! At least the Braves managed to win a game in October, and indeed they even won a play-off game in their series to the Dodgers. But a series defeat, culminated by a game four loss snatched from the jaws of victory, stung. The Braves still haven't won a play-off series since 2001. On the bright side, having a work colleague who is a Cleveland Indians fan helped on the basis that you see Postseason Baseball futility isn't solely limited to Georgia's capital city.

Miami Dolphins: Remember the 3-0 start? Remember the 3... and oh, yeah, whatever happened to that? It all went pear-shaped, that's what. Just like Palace, the Fins lost every game in October and now sit with a 3-4 record. There's no sign of coach Joe Philbin leaving though, which I think is a good thing. He's a good coach and a good guy, and hopefully he's here for the long haul. Fixing the offensive line might help though.

Chicago Bulls: The Bulls season began on Tuesday... with a defeat. Which makes perfect sense this month. At least Derrick Rose's surgically repaired knee seems to be better for not playing last season. Now excuse me while I go and find some wood to touch.

Warrington Wolves: Who? Yes, my infrequently mentioned Rugby League team, who I took on board due to my best friend at University. This month saw them play in their second consecutive Grand Final. Of course it finished with a second consecutive defeat. I haven't told my friend Chris about the sporting month I've had. I don't think he'd blame me, but it isn't worth mentioning. Also if I'm honest I know it doesn't mean to me what it meant to Chris. When I'm happy about Warrington results I'm happy for Chris, when they've lost a big game I think about what it means to Chris. Arguably this could be worse for me, let's just move on.

Anaheim Ducks: The Ducks are doing... pretty well actually, winning 10 of their first 13 games this season. Small problem, like the Bulls they're at the start of their season, and to all intents the start of the NHL season is effectively meaningless. In recent years top seeds have come a cropper in the Stanley Cup play-offs, and therefore it seems to be more important to be in the Stanley Cup play-offs instead of just being highly-seeded within those. It seems that all tickets are equally capable of winning the raffle. On a positive note, winning is better than the alternative.

Hopefully one day soon, preferably from a Braves perspective also in October, I'll have a blog post where I can report exactly the opposite from what I'm writing today. For the time being though I'll welcome even a small improvement.

What I'm (Not) Watching, September 2013

2013-09-30T17:16:00.000+01:00

Here's a twist to my should-be-annual TV review, because as the title implies, I'm not watching anything at the moment. It seems astonishing in some respects. I grew up in a house where watching TV, especially at night and over the weekends in the winter, was the main communal activity.

Right at this moment I'm in a TV vacuum. Mad Men, my favourite show, is on a break between the sixth and seventh seasons. The Apprentice is also between seasons, and due to my cancelling ESPN I don't have access to PTI, DLHQ, Around the Horn (all victims of the ESPN cull of ESPN America) or College Gameday. I made an effort to watch The Americans, until I found myself four episodes behind at the end of season one and wasn't really bothered about it (which I blame on the fact that the two strongest actors, Keri Russell and Noah Emmerich, are never on screen together).

Over the years my interest in reality shows has faded, so the recent run of regular and celebrity Big Brother didn't just leave me disinterested, but left me feeling significantly aggravated. Any form of dancing does the same, purely thanks to the catty judges, so that makes Strictly Come Dancing a no-go for me (even with noted celebrity Palace fan Susanna Reid on it). And X-Factor... X-Factor, ugh. How many ways can you say that you're fed up with all the dramatics, sob stories, last chances and every other overblown cliché they come up with? If it was purely a talent show I could live with it, but with everything else that is incorporated within the X-Factor package now makes that a no-go for me as well.

Breaking Bad? No, too violent, as I mentioned before, not my thing. Game of Thrones, the stuff of fantasy, not my thing either. Downton Abbey? Sorry, there's something about period pieces that I've never liked. Homeland was must see TV for me last year but the end of series 2 was so badly butchered that I'm not sure I can muster the enthusiasm for series 3.

So what do you do when you're effectively a television free-agent? You're free to become more selective, picking up an occasional documentary here and there (if I see an episode of Banged Up Abroad on National Geographic I'm probably taking at least a cursory glance), try an occasional new show here and there (and usually find they suck, yes Prisoner: Cell Block H remake, I'm talking about you) as well as re-runs of old sitcoms (Big Bang Theory on E4 is a repeat offender here) and quiz shows (yes, I finally succumbed to the addictive quality of Pointless).

Beyond just the TV is the freedom that you allow yourself. Thanks to Sky+ I rarely watch anything when it is shown anyway, but not having appointment TV frees you up from having any point where you really have to be in front of a TV. And that doesn't even cover the times that I'm actively looking to try and get away from a TV. The pity then is that life is busy enough that I can't make better use of the time, especially when that coincides with time that I need to be relatively quiet so I don't wake up my daughters when they're sleeping.

At this point I'm actually enjoying not having to actively work to keep up with a series. It may be a product of strange events and odd timing, but I'm actually quite enjoying this turn of events. When Mad Men ends after the split seventh series I'm not sure that I'll be picking anything up. Unless something exceptional comes along I think I can live without it.

Top 10: Fighting Talk Contestants

2013-08-31T22:05:00.001+01:00

Following on from last month's review of my favourite BS Report guests, I thought I should detail my favourite Fighting Talk contestants, coming after today's new season debut (which I've not listened to yet, I'm a podcast subscriber). Like last month, let's start with the contestants I'm not bothered about:

10 > - Simon Day (every answer comes back to Boxing), Brian Read (every answer comes back to Liverpool) and Jim Smallman (every answer comes back to Leicester City, specifically 1996 Leicester City, which I've written about before). It honestly wouldn't sadden me if they never came on the show again, although I wouldn't wish the fate of Stuart Hall on any of them.

10 - Henning Wehn
The German stand-up comic is the perfect foil for some of the more serious contestants. He's also wonderfully random, and frequently not politically correct, especially about the Dutch. I almost dread to think what his stand-up is like. My favourite moment of his? When he butchered a late Canadian Snooker player's name:

9 - Richard Osman
I wasn't a big fan of his to begin with, but he's grown on me with his dry, witty humour. Additionally he gets merit points for posting this on Twitter. It probably helps that thanks to the cleaner at work I'm in danger of becoming a "Pointless" fan as well.

8 - Gary O'Reilly
Purely a personal preference, due to lots of Palace mentions (especially the self-indulgent 1990 Palace mentions) and an introduction from the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders.

7 - Neil Delamere
A number of comedians work their way through the Fighting Talk studios (or in some cases, ISDN lines), to varying degrees of success with precious little interest in either sport or preparation (yes, Kevin Bridges, that means you). Neil Delamere, in my opinion at least, tends to be the best of them.

6 - Dougie Anderson
Following the antics of his namesake Freedman, Dougie "Two Answers" (sometimes "Three Answers") Anderson might now be becoming my favourite Scotsman, mostly because I like his self-depreciating humour. Oh, by the way, as of Friday I've lived in Scotland for 16 years now. Just thought I should mention that.

5 - Martin Kelner
If my best friend at University hadn't come from Warrington Kelner might be my favourite proponent of Rugby League. Additionally his "Any Other Business" answers are usually hysterical, such as the time that he was told about Country Vegetable soup and wondered if there was an Urban Vegatable equivalent. He's quite random at times:

4 - Bob Mills
Speaking of my best friend from University, when most people there were off getting wildly drunk (or worse) on Friday nights he and I would go into one of our rooms and watch "In Bed With Me Dinner". We hadn't heard of Bob Mills before, but we loved his offbeat comedy. Tragically I can't find any clips of his legendary destruction of Leslie Grantham's performance as Mick Raynor, so this will have to do instead.

(Yikes, that's 20 years ago. I'm really getting old.)

Mills is still just as offbeat, frequently extolling the virtues of lower league football in among various other comments and frequently terrible impressions. Apologies if you came here expecting a lecture on communism.

3 - Kath Merry
I'm probably shocking some listeners by placing her this highly, but she gets bonus points for being uncompromising and sharp, especially on the episode where the guest with the same name as an over-rated Br*ghton player decided to act a little strangely.

2 - Greg Brady
Can there just be a clip on YouTube of my favourite Canadian radio host butchering people's names? You need to hear him say Yakubu. Or West Bromwhich Albion. Or Snooker. Or anything with the potential to be verbally mangled. There's something likeable about him well, although I do tend to like people who don't take themselves too seriously.

1 - John Rawling
Psycho himself can go anyway you want on Fighting Talk, he can talk expertly on any subject, but at the same point he can see the humour in matters as well. Probably best of all, I'm no Boxing fan, but Rawling can talk about the history of the sport he covers most with reverance and class. It's never a bad show when JR is on.

Honourable mentions: Ian Stone, Tom Watt, Steve Bunce, Des Kelly, Steve Lamacq, Mark Watson.

Top 10: BS Report Guests

2013-07-31T21:30:00.000+01:00

Thought I'd put in a few top 10 lists, as a way to put in some different content on the blog. Don't expect these to be as entertaining as David Letterman's top 10 lists. They're leaning in the direction of information instead of entertainment, and they are my opinion only so feel free to disagree.

The first list is in relation to The BS Report, the ESPN/Grantland podcast hosted by Bill Simmons. Here are my top 10 guests (people who appear on at least a semi-regular basis), but before I get to that point, here's a candidate who won't make the top 10:

10 > - Zach Lowe
The go-to BS Report guest for everything NBA, which would be fine if he was anywhere near as entertaining as Steve Kerr or the more informal Joe House. I'm sure Lowe is a fine writer, but he's not a particularly easy listen unless you're looking to fall asleep. Every podcast he's on is too long, and he's possibly more over-exposed than Emile Sandé. For Lowe, less is more. Less Lowe, more variety on NBA topics please.

10 - Matthew Berry

The ESPN Fantasy Sports expert appears ahead of every American Football and Baseball season, and yet the one podcast I remember most of all was the one where Berry and Simmons fondly looked back at Beverly Hills 90210. Make of that what you will.

9 - Steve Kerr

The NBA expert and commentator, who unfortunately isn't on very much these days. A thoughtful commentator on the game today, with lots of great stories from his time as a General Mananger and also his days as a player (especially as a colleague of Michael Jordan).

8 - Jalen Rose

When Simmons first started having Rose on the podcast I thought it was more to do with their new working relationship on ABC's NBA coverage. Scratch that, Rose is a fantastic guest. He's fantastically engaging, endearingly honest and candid, and has a host of stories of what he got up to as an NBA player. If you have a spare hour, go to the Grantland YouTube channel and get a listen to some of these stories, they're well worth your time.

7 - Chuck Klosterman

The Rolling Stone writer surprised me by being an always-interesting guest, regardless of the topic. Not afraid to argue contrary opinions, although always with a purpose and not to just seek attention. Always very interesting, although possibly not the person to listen to if you're looking for humour.

6 - Chris Connelly

The man of many hats, all of them interesting. He's told many stories that I haven't heard before (like the one about Chris Paul's tribute game to his Grandfather), given valuable insight on past eras (e.g. Michael Jackson and the early 1980s) and also recommended some interesting documentaries and films (e.g. Rachel Getting Married, which I hated, but never mind). He's a great story teller, and to his benefit I think I would struggle to pinpoint any of his biases, he simply presents as an interested neutral.

5 - Alan Sepinwall

The TV writer at hitfix.com, Sepinwall is an engaging, thoughtful TV critic. He was one of the first people who pointed me in the direction of Mad Men as well as early proponent of Homeland (and to be fair, a pointed critic of the end of series two). Like anyone, I won't always agree with everything he says, but at least his points are well considered and his appearances are an easy listen.

4 - JackO

Call this a conflicted point. Simmons' old college friend (full name John O'Connell) is the Yankees supporting balance when Red Sox supporting Simmons wants to discuss Baseball. They're often disparaging about the National League, but they remind me of how I talk with my friends on the phone, so their discussions make me smile for more than just the obvious reasons. It's just a pity that JackO's Irish ancestry make him so clearly anti-English.

3 - Joe House

Simmons' Washington-based friend always seems happy to talk Basketball, although he's also keen to talk about food as well. The conversations are similar to those with JackO, but a bit lighter and with no such anti-English slants. There's just something likeable about him. Maybe it's the incredible eating feats?

2 - Adam Carolla

Rarely seen these days, which is a pity, but the now-annual Fast & Furious reviews are always a must-listen. Additionally, his fictional film pitch for "Pedif Isle" in the early weeks of the podcast quickly made the BS Report a must listen for me. Very funny, usually quite bizarre. Okay, very bizarre, but I wouldn't miss them.

1 - Cousin Sal

My favourite guest, Sal Iacono bar none, usually for his weekly NFL picks that he and Simmons do every week during the NFL season. In jokes, impressions and the weekly staple of the fake voicemail message from Simmons, these are the podcasts I look forward to most every week from September to the start of February. (Please don't mess up the recordings at any point this season - week one of last season wasn't fun.)

How Does Mad Men End?

2013-06-30T22:37:00.000+01:00

I was probably the only person who ended up seeing the final episode of Mad Men's penultimate season at 8am on a Saturday morning (them's the breaks of shift work), but given how quiet social media had been about it I was pleased with how the season ended.

With one last season left to go, it does leave questions regarding how the show will actually end, so I've decided to take some guesses at what will happen to the main characters:

Don Draper
While his professional career is looking at a nadir and his marriage to Megan looks to be heading towards disaster, I wonder if there appears to be an uptick in his relationship with his children. As a Dad I found Sally's near-throwaway comment about not knowing anything about her father to be particularly cutting, so to end a series with him taking his children back to where he grew up was interesting.

A brief attempt to move away from alcohol at the culmination of the series leads me to think we'll see further health issues for Don in the final series. Personally I wouldn't be surprised to see him die at the culmination of the series.

Footnote: If Jon Hamm plays Don Draper for the full seven seasons and doesn't earn a major acting honour, that's an absolute shame on those organisations who overlook him. He's fabulous in the role, I can't imagine anyone else as Draper.

Peggy Olson
For quite a while I've felt that the show will end with one of the female characters becoming the one that the show was really all about. While thinking - and to some extent, hoping - it might be Sally I just think that too much time has been invested in Peggy for it not to be her. It fits too nicely, young secretary becomes copywriter, becomes respected, leaves, rejoins and (as I would guess) becomes partner and finally figurehead of the firm.

Let's be honest, every guy in the show has disrespected Peggy in one way or another. I think the show ends with her on top... and alone (unless you count her cat).

Roger Sterling
Fact: no-one remembers that in the first series of Mad Men Roger Sterling suffered two heart attacks. Changes of behaviour in that time? None. This is rearing it's ugly head again next season, trust me. I think we lose Roger at around episode nine or ten, and no-one will be sadder than me about that.

Megan Draper
As series six wore on there were rumours that Jessica Paré (who plays Megan) would be leaving the show, and that the character itself would be killed off. I love Mad Men, so it probably makes me a bad person that I'm disappointed that she appears to be coming back in season seven.

Seriously, just about every scene with Megan makes me ask, "What was the point of that?" She's my least favourite character by a long way. I think she and Don split early in season seven, and we see precious little else from her after episode five.

Pete Campbell
I wouldn't say I like Pete as a character, after all he's a pretty horrible person, but I've come to appreciate him, and certainly appreciate Vincent Kartheiser's portrayal of him. I just can't really muster the enthusiasm to see where he ends up. I suspect in some way though he gets back on side with poor, kind, trusting Trudy. She deserves better.

Sally Draper
The last few weeks saw Sally lose trust in her father, and suddenly strike up a liking for cigarettes and alcohol. Hold on, give me a moment here...

(I need to compose myself here. I originally liked Sally because in the early series she was a little like my eldest daughter was then, which of course leads to fears regarding how that same daughter may turn out like Sally one day...)

So this makes Sally easy to predict. She gets into drugs, into boys and goes to Woodstock.

(Excuse me while I go away and throw up.)

Betty Francis
I suspect that Henry (another character I'm not particularly bothered about) is dispensed with at some point in series seven, but quite how that occurs is something I'm not too sure about.

I do think that Betty and Don regain a more amicable relationship for the sake of their children, but it only remains platonic. I don't think it goes back to where it ever-so-briefly did in series six.

Joan Harris
Meh.

What do you think ends up happening with the major characters?

Normal Service To Be Resumed Shortly

2013-05-31T23:53:00.002+01:00

Sorry, no significant entry this month either. Another very crazy month, should hopefully return to normal in June though.

In the meantime though, this:

Single-Handed Silver Linings

2013-04-29T22:08:00.002+01:00

Just a short entry this month, as it has been quite a month. This has included:

My wife breaking her wrist, which has obviously meant that I've had to carry out more things at home. You just don't realise how much losing the use of one hand - however temporarily - makes life so difficult.
My eldest getting a sickness bug, which was followed by...
... our youngest getting the same bug.

The good news? Although there was a point that it seemed never-ending, there is an end in sight. Both the girls are well now, and hopefully in two weeks Lorraine will be getting the plaster cast off her wrist (hopefully - cross your fingers!).

Things will get better, there's a glint of sunshine that I can just about see now.

Whatever Happens To The Heroes?

2013-03-31T21:09:00.000+01:00

This is not about the pub in Waterlooville which some friends of mine once referred to as "a meat market". Please continue to read, thanks!

The past twelve months has been a weird time from a sporting perspective, but to understand it you have to delve back into the past a bit.

Back in 1991 I had barely supported for Palace for any time at all, but I clearly had a favourite player: Ian Wright. His enthusiasm was infectious, his speed was electrifying and he had a knack of being able to produce something special at any given moment. Unbeknown to 16 year-old me though he would shortly be sold to Arsenal for £2.5M. My first true sporting hero had gone, to a club where he would repeatedly score against us and even on one occasion relegate us. I said I would never become so attached to one player again.

However in the summer of 1997 a newly-promoted Palace side did the unthinkable. They sought and eventually succeeded in obtaining the services of Attilio Lombardo from Juventus. Lombardo then scored on his debut at Everton and shortly afterwards inspired another win at Leeds. He was a remarkably quick thinker, always a step ahead of the game and seeking to improve those around him. Add in his instantly recognisable hairstyle (or lack of it) and a unique take on the "he's got no hair" songs and you had a cult hero.

Even though he became frequently injured and ultimately could not prevent us from being relegated he was a pleasure to watch. As the injuries mounted up I at least took satisfaction in seeing him score with a smart finish at Newcastle. Unexpectedly he stayed with us in our return to the second flight, and on the last occasion that I saw him he ran the whole game against Portsmouth. As the club's finances took a turn for the worse under Mark Goldberg's disastrous spell as owner it became the time to pinch myself, and Lombardo returned to Italy with Lazio. No proper goodbye, and his only return since has been in his role with Manchester City's coaching staff.

Lombardo's time with Palace was somewhat of an aberration, and while other popular players came and went (e.g. Clinton Morrison, Andy Johnson and now Wilfried Zaha) there remained a point where you kept yourself detached. In reality Palace aren't a huge club, and great players will ultimately move onto better things. You remembered that.

However some things go a bit deeper than that. Back in October 1995 I was actually at the game where Dougie Freedman scored his first goal for Palace (I wasn't actually there at that moment, and didn't get there until half-time due to my return to Uni and fun and games with the train network). He scored plenty of goals that season, and although he didn't get as many the following season he still chipped in with a healthy batch of goals including two in the play-off semi-final against Wolves as Palace secured another promotion.

As Lombardo was settling in at Palace, Dougie was heading to Wolves, before moving onto Nottingham Forest and then ultimately back to Palace in 2000. When we needed him most, he came up trumps in the biggest moment, scoring at Stockport to help prevent a further relegation in the dying minutes of the 2000/01 season. More goals followed, including a 100th for the club in a win at Brighton. Even though Dougie wrapped up his playing career with a loan spell at Leeds and a period on the books at Southend, but he was Palace through and through, and we loved him for it.

When Palace went through even more financial difficulty and a further period of administration Dougie was back again, this time as assistant to temporary manager Paul Hart. When Hart left and George Burley took over Dougie remained as number two, and after Burley's brief and unsuccessful spell in charge he took over the manager's position himself. The ship was righted in quick but uninspired fashion, followed the following season by a trip to a League Cup semi-final and the permanent feather-in-the-cap moment of being the first team to win in the league at Brighton's new stadium. Yes, Dougie was one of us. He would take us places, he would stick with us, he would be the person who would be the visible face of the club moving slowly and surely forward.

What we didn't see was Dougie taking the manager's job at Bolton Wanderers. Reasons were speculated on, more money for him personally, more money to spend on players, a bigger club, a more successful recent history. Whatever the reason, fans were outraged.

At the same point that Dougie was leaving in another sport another of my favourites was exiting, only in a different fashion. Having joined the organisation in 1990 and consequently graduated to the Major League team in 1993, Chipper Jones headed into retirement having been with only the Atlanta Braves in all that time. Although the Braves had been similar to Palace when I started to support them, they changed very quickly to a point that players rarely moved for career aspirations or financial reasons. Consequently Chipper could be seen as loyal to the core.

Your browser does not support iframes.

However even then there are things which happen in retirement which I can't claim to be altogether comfortable with. Chipper clearly loves hunting, and he was a bit too comfortable for my liking in regard to a second divorce and how he has moved on from this. Chipper was always candid to the media while he was playing, and consequently it isn't fair to judge him differently now he has retired. Last year I finally succumbed and bought a "Jones/10" jersey to commemorate all he did for the team, and that is what I choose to remember.

Many years ago I had a friend who was a Los Angeles Dodgers fan. I remember on one occasion him telling me about Steve Garvey, about how he was idolised, and how he was believed to be so clean cut that schools were named after him. The only thing was that Steve Garvey was nothing like that, and all the accolades that were showered upon him were premature. You don't know how someone may really be considered until much, much later in life, if indeed during their life at all.

In time all our sports heroes will disappoint us. As time passes the wound of Freedman leaving will ease, but never totally be forgotten. Chipper's on-field deeds will be remembered while he tweets about shooting deer and continuing a new relationship. And as time continues to pass I will continue to ponder the relationship between the teams I support, the players who play for them, and the actions they take in their daily lives. It doesn't really impact me, and yet you can't help but think about it. Yes, they're heroes, but they're also human beings, and consequently as prone to do things that people don't like as anyone else.

I Don't Want To Be In Your Gang

2013-02-28T22:40:00.000+00:00

Something which struck me recently during a water cooler-esque discussion at work was just how popular some violent forms of entertainment are, and conversely just how much I don't like those forms of entertainment.

My colleagues at work think it is odd that I've never seen The Godfather. I've heard Bill Simmons say on a podcast that people who haven't seen The Wire shouldn't own a television. I've also looked through Grantland's list of Oscar travesties and saw a mass of predominantly-violent films that have seemingly been shunned.

So my question is this, do we really have to like violent things?

I can't remember a point where I liked violent action. I had a grim fascination with the Zapruder film when I first saw it at around the age of 13, but I don't wish to see it any more. I've never seen an episode of The Wire, because I've always veered towards lighter entertainment and sport in my free time. And besides, what do I really need to know about the drug trade in Baltimore?

One of the more serious programmes I love is Mad Men, and that was created by Matt Weiner, who used to work on The Sopranos. Number of episodes of I've ever seen of The Sopranos? That's right, zero. Here's what I know about The Sopranos: it's Mafia-based and violent. Maybe that's exceptionally ignorant because I've never seen it, but I really don't want to see it. I don't think it could compare with the sharp dialogue and intricate character development I see in Mad Men.

Going back to Grantland's list of Oscar travesties, one of the ones they pointed to was Forrest Gump winning best picture over Pulp Fiction. I've seen both films, and certainly wouldn't want to see Pulp Fiction again. From a more critical point of view, I thought the film was a mish-mash of storylines which didn't really tie in all that well. With the exception of some scene-stealing intimidation by Samuel L. Jackson I don't think of Pulp Fiction with much affection. Conversely Forrest Gump has a fantastic storyline, some wonderfully creative characters and some genuinely touching moments. For me it isn't a discussion between the two.

Does this make me a bad person? I hope not. Does it make me a person of questionable taste? Possibly, but I think that things other than my taste in films and entertainment has shown this prior to now.

In addition to my natural distaste of violence is my increasing lack of free time as I get older. Given that it is more precious now, I'm less inclined than ever to spend it on taking a chance on watching something I don't think I would like. Add in that I'm likely to want to spend that time relaxing with something a bit lighter (typically sitcoms) or something I'm more passionate about (yes, that almost certainly means sport), and I think you can see why these programmes and films pass me by. And if that makes me a bad person, then so be it. Unlike some of the characters in these programmes and films I don't think my actions will kill me.

Finding Fun, Finding Myself

2013-01-31T21:56:00.001+00:00

As 2011 came to end I discovered something I didn't like about myself. Whenever I was seeing friends we would talk about what they had been up to, and then conversation would turn to what I had been doing in my spare time. Truth be told it was precious little. I had certainly joked about my lack of social life before, but this was a bit more serious. It felt a bit like life was passing me by, so I had to make a concerted effort in 2012 to try and get out and enjoy myself more.

Now it may not seem too much to be making sure I was getting out one night a month, but between my shifts, Lorraine's shifts and childcare, it was a small step that I could commit to. It allowed me to plan a little bit, and therefore try some new things to see what I might like and what I might not.

I feel like I have learned a few things from the experience, both in terms of what I like and also in regard to what I like to do. However much I may have tried other things (such as a night seeing live stand-up comedy and on one occasion a musical) I cannot get away from the fact that I don't enjoy anything as much as attending live sport. Additionally I have found that there is more to attend than just Football, as I have also especially enjoyed attending both local Ice Hockey and Basketball. In reality that has served as a reminder that I enjoy lots of sports, and also sadly that here in Central Scotland it will always be Football (or the Old Firm, if you prefer) that will be dominant, often at the complete expense of other sports.

For years I took myself to Palace matches by myself, and I therefore felt that I always enjoyed going to games by myself. However the past year has taught me that while attending events by myself is okay, I do prefer attending events with either friends or family. Perhaps it is not a coincidence that the things I didn't enjoy as much were the things I did by myself, even a few sporting events which I tried for the first time (sorry Greyhound racing fans, I'll never do that again, that was possibly one of the most miserable events I've ever attended in my life). I suspect I'm not the solitary cat I always thought I was, I do appear to like company, I just need to be less shy about asking if people would like to do things with me.

I have learned there is value in taking a bit of time for yourself. Yesterday I took myself down to Huddersfield to attend Palace's 1-0 defeat at the John Smith's Stadium. Again there was the realisation that "I enjoy this, why don't I do this more often?" Now it wasn't perfect, after all I was making the trip by myself, and the result could have been better, but I seem to enjoy the lack of guarantees that live sport presents. Later this season I'll be flying down to London with Lorraine and Chloe, for my eldest's first trip to see Palace. Now that should be fun. And I should make a point of doing it more often.

I have also learned that sometimes there is value in staying in, or at least in opting out. There were some months where the month was drawing to a close and so I forced myself to go out and try something, and just didn't enjoy it at all. I also found that there are times when there really isn't much taking place, and so the money spent on trying to find something you might enjoy is better saved and later spent on something you know you will enjoy.

Overall though this will continue to be an ongoing process, one which is refined and amended continually, as I both remember what I enjoy and still balance it with the commitments to my job and to my family. As selfish as it sounds though, what I cannot do is to completely ignore my own needs. The need to unwind, the need to do things that put a smile on my face, the need to do things that I'll look forward to. While it feels selfish, the benefits stretch out beyond me and into the lives of the people I care about. People who are happy when I'm happy, and the exact reason why I don't feel guilty any longer about putting myself first every once in a while.

Considering the Previously Unthinkable

2012-12-31T08:30:00.000+00:00

Remember how years ago I considered Pardon The Interruption and Around The Horn to be shows I couldn't miss? For that matter, do you remember how barely a few months ago I praised Dan Le Batard is Highly Questionable? Those days seem like a long time ago, because unfortunately the channel responsible for showing them in the UK, ESPN America, is becoming an unwatchable mess.

Consider the following:

Pardon The Interruption, possibly my favourite programme on television and for me the quickest way to catch up on the biggest American sports stories, is now effectively a glorified radio show. The highlights which still accompany the show in America are nowhere to be seen in the UK, apparently due to rights footage restrictions. Sky hold the rights to NFL games, BBC to many Tennis events, and the two share plenty of other events, such as Golf. No rights, no clips, but plenty of Kornheiser and Wilbon referring to clips that we can't see. Sad.
Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable relies even more heavily on clips. This appears to be the reason why it is no longer shown at all on ESPN America. Ditto for SportsCenter and SportsNation (the latter is not my cup of tea, but lots of people I know really enjoyed it).
Even a programme which should be immune from this nonsense isn't safe. College Gameday only covers College Football, which as far as I know is only nearly exclusively shown on ESPN America. However when Landon Donovan appeared as a guest on the show the feed was cut as the American broadcast was about to show highlights of Donovan's goal against Algeria from the 2010 World Cup.

All these rights issues are pedantic and annoying, and not just in regard to ESPN America. I don't usually subscribe to Sky Sports because for the lack of spare time I have I really cannot justify the cost, however I usually pick it up for the NFL playoffs or if Palace are due to be covered. Not anymore. I've only really watched Golf's majors for years, but the way it carved up PTI in the summer has led me to loathe it. Andy Murray may have had a magical run to the Wimbledon final, but I kept thinking about how it was destroying PTI and frankly it made me bitter and disinterested.

With my favourite programmes being destroyed what on earth am I therefore forking out £13 a month for? Frankly I don't need it, and I struggle to justify it. So with that in mind once the final College Gameday of the season is shown on January 7th I will probably cancel my subscription, at the very least until March Madness. However as that is shown online for free I will probably be quite safe to leave it until the Baseball season begins, and by that point I may have joined my Fantasy Baseball colleagues who have promoted MLB.tv on the basis of the quality it provides for many years now.

(And no, it doesn't help when filler time is taken up with things like the American Hockey League and College Volleyball, low quality events in front of sparse and disinterested audiences. Ugh.)

The sad part of this for me is that all this takes to resolve this is rights of highlights to be shown on a few programmes. There obviously aren't problems with this in America, so why does it take place here? According to what I could find the problem appears to be with the UK version of ESPN America also being shown in Scandinavia. I'm not sure why that affects the UK and in particular highlights being edited out of shows. Goodness only knows what would happen if they allowed highlights to be shown in regard to these events and consequently make me interested in them? I'm not proud to admit it, but a few years ago I even took a partial interest in American Idol because of how keenly Tony Kornheiser argued about who should leave each week.

Showing highlights of different events effectively works as free advertising. A clip of something amazing on one of these shows might lead to me actually watching it on a different channel. Whoever makes these decisions, you may think you're doing yourselves a favour by denying these rights, but all it does it get my back up and the remote control handed over to my wife.

Thoughts On The US Election

2012-11-29T15:42:00.000+00:00

Given that it was what I went to University to study, I thought I should put some thoughts into the American Presidential election. I suspect this is of interest to about two people, so just humour me on this occasion, okay?

The Result: Not really a surprise to me, as over the course of my lifetime only two incumbent Presidents have failed to secure a second term. In each case they had massive black marks on their résumé, Jimmy Carter with fuel shortages and the ongoing Iran hostage crises, and George Bush senior with the infamous "No new taxes" pledge. Obama avoided anything of that magnitude, and consequently his re-election wasn't a surprise. Personally it had been what I had expected once the death of Osama Bin Laden had been confirmed.

I Want To Vote With The Cool Kids: I haven't been able to monitor American politics the way I once did (having two young children will do that to you), but I've been a bit surprised by all the pro-Obama remarks I see from people I follow on Twitter around the world and by colleagues in the office. It reminds me of how people felt about Bill Clinton, and in case you needed a reminder, he wasn't perfect by any means.

In a corresponding manner, I don't see much substance behind why people like Obama. There certainly seems to be a dose of relief that he isn't George W. Bush, and you can see that he presents himself well and engages with voters in groundbreaking fashions. All of these things do not necessarily make a successful politician though, and regardless of what you think of him over 58 million votes (over 47% of the overall total) went to Mitt Romney (who certainly didn't strike me as an overly-impressive opponent).

Now maybe it is because I've never been one of the cool kids, but when everyone rushes to tell me how good someone is I tend to be a bit sceptical. 58 million people, for whatever reason, don't share that opinion, and on the global horizon I think that tends to get overlooked.

You're Not Helping Guys: One of the most staggering matters which I couldn't help but notice was all the furore about Barack Obama's place of birth. Remembering that a President must be born within American lands (and having remembered pointing this out to someone who once asked if Arnold Schwarznegger would one day be President) I found the ongoing witch-hunt by Obama opponents to be embarrassing. I would have suspected that Obama would never have been allowed to take charge if he was not born on American soil, which to me means that continuing to cover this ground four years after his first election victory appear churlish at best and desperate at worst.

However the worst part of this for me is that it screams out "This is the only thing we can pin on you," or if you prefer, "We have no other problems with you." Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case, so why persist with one seemingly settled matter if you have other important matters that need to be dealt with? Why not ask about more important matters instead of wasting your time, and by extension your credibility, by repeatedly asking someone to confirm where they were born?

The Least Important Matter: At least the Homeland titles don't need to change for another four years, although personally I'm still waiting for someone to put together an alternative version of this with nonsensical quotes from Bush and co. within it.

Low Down to Nigel Martyn's Left

2012-10-30T20:47:00.000+00:00

On a Monday night in November 1992 I sat on my bed at home, watching Palace take on Arsenal live on Sky. With the score at 1-1 ex-Palace favourite Ian Wright lashed home a left-footed shot to secure a 2-1 win for Arsenal. After the game I bristled during his interview, as he watched a replay of the goal and pointed out that low down to Nigel Martyn's left was his weak spot.

I felt that this was a step too far. Why tell everyone that this particular spot was the Palace's goalkeeper's weakness? It seemed like rubbing salt into the wounds of defeat somehow. In reality Wright was probably only guilty of being too honest, as in all likelihood this particular note on Nigel Martyn would have been on scouting reports (or equivalent documentation) at just about every Premiership club.

In recent months I have begun to think that there should be more honesty between people. I think it could certainly make things easier. Most people already know and silently acknowledge the friends who aren't really friends, the other halves who a peer group doesn't approve of and vice-versa, and much more besides. However no-one talks about it, because for some reason that's an unwritten rule. Somehow discussing these things honestly is seen to be more damaging than letting these things fester in private, and so people go along with their daily lives, not really knowing the full extent of what people think of them and allowing things to somehow be worse than they otherwise would be.

I'm not sure quite why people avoid difficult questions in this manner, but it isn't something I'm immune from. I know there are questions regarding friends and family that I'll never have answers to, and more than anything that's because I don't really want to know the answer. It's a little bit like this:

Yeah, the truth isn't pleasant sometimes, and so it becomes easier to live with lies, fantasies, misinformation and plain ol' ignorance. However if I'm realistic being more honest could have had much more positive effects upon my family. As I mentioned previously, there has been quite a history of people not being altogether truthful down through my Dad's side of the family, for all kinds of reasons. It extends to this day, as I remember my Aunt saying in a less than rhetorical manner after my Grandmother's funeral, "One day I'll find out what happened between you and your Dad," to me. Here's a revolutionary idea, why don't you ask me? Trust me, if I don't want to tell you, I'll let you know.

Here's another example. When I was very young my Grandfather (again, on my Dad's side of the family) was taken into hospital for an emergency operation. He didn't come out of the anaesthetic correctly and died shortly afterwards. That's how I found out that I had the exact same allergy to this particular anaesthetic that my grandfather did. Now consider these pieces of information in regard to the admittedly little I know about these events:

My Mum said that she got me tested for the same allergy after what happened to "a family friend". Well, strictly speaking I guess you could argue he wasn't family to her by that point, but he was a blood relative to me. I assume my Mum's best intentions were to not hurt 1) Me, 2) My widowed grandmother, 3) Herself (my Mum thought a lot of my grandfather).
Out of respect to my Grandmother and not wishing to hurt her, I never asked her about the whole episode.
After my Grandmother died and I asked my Aunt about this, she struggled and just about struck together enough information to figure out this probably happened in 1979. Let's just say I'm slightly cynical about this, I'm not sure anyone who has lost a parent would forget the date.

On reflection this all seems rather pointless. I could very easily reel off the dates my maternal, paternal and step Grandmother died. I have never been told the dates that any of my Grandfathers died. Deaths happen, why not at least acknowledge them instead of leaving questions? On a similar vein, I already see my in-laws trying to cover up to my daughters that their Uncle has two failed marriages. I know my in-laws won't like that it when I tell them the truth, however kindly I may do so. Covering up something like that is just lying under a different guise. People make mistakes, and ultimately people die. There is no sense in pretending otherwise.

With all this in mind I hope that in the future if my daughters have things on their mind when they are older and they want to ask me difficult questions they will, and that if I make a mistake in any direction I do so in the form of being too honest instead of either withholding information or worse. Maybe they don't want to know what the equivalent of low down to their left is, but having the full information probably leaves them in a better position to deal with it. Personally I'll probably carry on just the way I am, and have my opinions on one side of my family shaped accordingly by it.

Interesting Times for Forum Owners

2012-09-27T11:15:00.000+01:00

Interesting times in the world of forums at the moment. I've written about being a vBulletin customer previously, but now that time might come to an end. Internet Brands, the company who own the rights to vBulletin, have announced plans to release vBulletin 5. However there are two problems with this from my perspective:

A demonstration copy of this has been released, and to say the least it isn't very impressive, mostly in terms of performance.
The cost to upgrade is $249. As a UK resident I would need to add 20% VAT onto that, and even with a discount for upgrading it is still a significant financial hit for someone like me. Paying for vBulletin 4 was a stretch, the cost for vBulletin 5 might have finally priced me out.

In addition to those two points there is also what they mean together. As a customer why reward an inferior product by paying to use it? The only way as a customer to show that a product is not good enough is to not buy it, that is the only thing a company will understand.

From what I've seen the most viable option is a product called Xenforo. It has a high entry price and then has an annual support fee for a more manageable price. It is reminiscent of the pricing plan that vBulletin used to have, and that probably isn't an accident. There are a number of people within the Xenforo team who used to work on vBulletin before it was taken over by Internet Brands.

Now whether it is related to that point or not, there is an enormous amount of friction between Internet Brands and the team behind Xenforo. There is an ongoing lawsuit which has been served by Internet Brands which will go to court in January of 2013. However at the present time development on Xenforo has slowed to a crawl, partly due to the ongoing litigation and partly due to what are at least perceived to be personal issues among the Xenforo team.

So what is the answer if you're someone like me? Well my personal preference is to keep up to date on security patches for vBulletin 4, sit tight on any present buying decisions and see what develops. It needs to be seen what will take place in regard to Xenforo, because if they are able to continue and offer commitment towards development they will probably be the product I move to. However the present litigation is a big cloud over the product at the present time.

Waiting isn't a particularly fun thing to do, and however much I'd like to get a hold of a copy of Xenforo and play around with it this doesn't feel like the right time to do that. I cannot realistically invest in a product for whom the future appears to be insecure at present. That is my right as a buyer, and something which Xenforo must address, in the same way that vBulletin should address quality and pricing issues if they feel that is an issue for them, although unfortunately it looks as if repeat business and past reputation is allowing them to continue with a disappointing product.

DLHQ: An Appreciation

2012-08-29T13:17:00.000+01:00

I've noticed something that is consistent across the sports shows I love in the last few years, mostly that I've gravitating towards shows where pundits are having fun, are passionate about what they discuss and yet don't take themselves too seriously. It is true in the case of Pardon the Interruption and College Gameday, and has also become the case for Dan Le Batard is Highly Questionable.

My knowledge of Le Batard the journalist goes back quite a while. I remember him being one of the more significant writers in the Miami media to notice how bad a coach Dave Wannstedt was, and while I loved those columns I thought considerably less of him when he defended Ricky Williams' sudden retirement ahead of the Dolphins 2004 season. I held that against him while he occasionally appeared on PTI, but slowly grew to enjoy the self-depreciating humour and subsequent parodies of him. By the time of his epic radio celebration of Lebron James joining the Miami Heat I was back to being a fan of his.

(Yes, I like Dan Le Batard. There, I said it.)

An overload of television (by my standards) meant that I didn't pick up Dan LeBatard is Highly Questionable (or DLHQ, as it is known in both @DLHQ and #DLHQ form) when it started on ESPN America. I felt that PTI were especially keen to promote it (which on reflection was pretty mild). I gave the show a try, and found that while most of the show consists of Dan talking he isn't the real star - that's his Dad, Gonzalo. Or Papi, as he is more commonly referred to.

This leads me onto the other thing I've begun to enjoy on television: slightly eccentric older gentlemen who are unintentionally funny. Tony Kornheiser, Lee Corso, and now Gonzalo Le Batard.

There probably aren't words which can explain this adequately, so let me just mention a couple of (ir)relevant points:

1) The section of the show where Papi introduces "Si O No" has become my two-year-old's favourite thing on television, to the point she can now just about imitate it along with tilting her head from side to side.

2) Papi is genuinely really, really funny. I missed a few episodes while I was on holiday and picked up where I left up from the podcasts. The one where Dan and Papi discussed the National Geographic show "Taboo" and Papi called the Berlin Wall "a home wrecker" nearly had me crying with laughter at a set of traffic lights.

3) As someone with a somewhat dysfunctional father-son relationship I love the dynamic that there is between Papi and Dan. They're clearly comfortable in talking with each other and having fun together. I don't know for certain, but I'd suspect they're very similar to how they'd talk with each other in any other setting (although I'd guess the language would be more, ahem, colourful).

4) As well as being funny the show can also be poignant. After Ozzie Guillen spoke about his admiration of Fidel Castro Papi retold his own tale of leaving Cuba:

That is probably not the most representative clip from the show though. Here are some of my favourites:

And to finish, my personal favourite clip: