CREATIVE JUICES

Untitled

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 16:45:00 +0000

It’s the first day of my Senior year. I can’t describe the excitement I am feeling as my dad pulled over our Chevrolet in the school’s driveway. I hurriedly gave a peck on dad’s right cheek and went down to meet my friends and gave each other some updates on our summer vacation. The bell rang and we sped up to our rooms and faced our books. Another dreadful year in school again, but at least this will be my last year in High school.

I am Eunice, the only daughter of two of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country. An average girl living a grandiose life. I was born with a silver spoon. I live in a grand house in one of the plush villages in our place. I have lived a sheltered life, away from the harsh reality of the world out there.

And he’s Vincent, my long time crush for as long as I can remember. We have been studying in the same school ever since Grade school and even though we have been seat mates for so many years now, still, for him, I don’t even exist. He never even uttered a single word to me, just a few forceful smiles whenever our eyes meet in the school’s hallways. He was the school’s jock and every girl swoons over him and would die just to date him. I don’t know If I’m lucky or what, but I must confess that I am one of those.

It’s a cloudy afternoon when I decided to watch one of Vincent’s practices in the field. I tagged along two of my best girl friends so I will have some back ups. I know this is now the right time to muster enough guts to talk to him. After all, the party of the year is just a few weeks away and I have already envisioned myself entering the venue with him by my side. I know that sounds a bit ambitious but I think it’s just about time to show him what I’m made of. What Eunice wants, Eunice gets.

The moment I saw him walking towards my way, I can feel how my body stiffened and how I felt the urge to throw up and just pass away. Good thing I brought along my two best cheer leaders. I slowly walked towards him as I put my sweetest smile as I introduced myself to him. “I know” was all he said, and then gave a quick smile and fled with the other jocks. My world was crushed down into pieces. The ultimate love of my life can’t even give me a second of his time. But hey, at least he knows my name. I exist in his vocabulary and that already counts. Although I know I need to work harder to get him notice me. And the next time we meet, I bloody swear, he’ll never leave me again, ever.

The party was in the house of one of the popular girls in school. I was wearing my best dress and even had my hair and make up done. Tonight, Vincent will surely notice me, and he did. Surprisingly, he even invited me over their house and everything happened so fast. In just a blink of an eye, people started noticing me, girls even started hating me. All just because I have with me the school’s most popular guy. Everything changed; it was a dream come true. But everything also changed when my monthly period was delayed.

After one of our classes, I look all over the school for Vincent, only to find him in the field flirting with some other girls in our school. “Excuse me, can you just give us second?” I pulled Vincent away from the girls who scampered away. “Hi, what’s the matter” he asks casually as he fixes his hair. “I’m pregnant!” I tell him straightforwardly. “You’re what?!” He repeats his question again as though I have uttered the silliest joke in the world. “I am pregnant. I did a pregnancy test and I even consulted two doctors just to confirm. And I am. It’s 2 weeks old.”

Vincent stared at me for a long minute then shook his head. “I am not the father of that. Who knows, that might be someone else’s child. Who knows, you might have cheated on me.” “How dare you say that to me?!” I shouted feeling all my blood rising and my hands trembling. “I’m sorry but I’m not going to take any responsibility for that. Go find a father for your child, but not me.” Then he quickly walked away to get his things and catch up with the guys.

It’s a gloomy day, rain started pouring down and I don’t even mind. I looked at Vincent until he vanished from my sight. I walked home all drenched and head straightly to my room. I cried and did not eat dinner that night. I even skipped my classes the following days telling my parents I was feeling ill. Then one night during our usual dinners, I finally decided to spill the beans.

“Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant.” I silently uttered while we were in the middle of laughing over the antics I usually does when I was still a child. Both of them stopped eating and stared at me silently. I can feel the tension in the air while I look at them anticipating for some answer, but my father just stood up while my mother followed after him.

That was the last time I have eaten dinner with them. They have disowned me since that night. I tried calling my friends to let me stay over their houses even for the mean time while I find some place to stay, but they refused to for the reason that their parents won’t allow them thinking that I am setting a bad example for their children.

I am currently working as a cashier in a little convenience store in a small town away from home. I decided to keep the baby and I need to work hard to keep us alive. I have two jobs. I do dishwashing in the morning at a restaurant two kilometers away from my stinking little apartment, while I go to the store from eight in the evening till midnight. I know what I’m doing is risky for me and my pregnancy, but I need my jobs to pay the rent, bills and for my food. I have never imagined life would be this hard. Especially for a young girl like me who should still be in school and inside the classroom. But instead I’m here in this convenience store working my tail off. I missed my once wrapped in cotton wool life but I need to show them I can make it.

“Eunice, you haven’t paid the rent for thee months already, if you can’t give me the full payment tomorrow, then I’m afraid you may need to find a new place to stay.” Adelaide, our landlady, warned when she saw me one night arrived from work.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I don’t know where on earth will I produce money to pay my three months rent. The last time I made cash advances, my employers told me that that would be the last time already because I have made so many cash advancements ever since I get in the job. I thought of going back home but I can’t for fear of rejection for the second time. I cried myself to sleep that night, still not having answers to all my problems.

The next day after my shift, I decided to walk my way home, notwithstanding the chilly weather outside. My feet were heavy as I padded along the cold December night. But still I could feel the hot tears trickling down my face. I stopped and sat on the sidewalk as I sobbed all the pains I am feeling. The rain started to pour and so are my tears. Then all of a sudden, I felt a hand on my shoulder, as I glanced up, I saw my father’s face, smiling. And although it’s raining, I can see he was also crying.

“Let’s go home now my little lamb.” He finally said. “We’ve been waiting and searching for you since you left.” With that, I stood up and hugged him, and after so many months, I felt again the feeling of being secured.

The night was getting deeper as I trudged along the dark alley leading to the apartment. The misty air and the stillness of the night bring back memories of the past. Memories that I have put on the back burner for a long time now. Memories that served as an envenom that is slowly killing and eating me wholly. Then rain drops started falling and before I knew it, thoughts kept flooding rapidly together with the rain. Then a small hand suddenly tugs me. “Come on mommy, it’s already raining, let’s get inside the car. Why do we always go in this place every year anyway? Then all you do is just look at that dirty little apartment over there” Marguerite, my daughter, inquisitively asks. “Nothing, let’s go now, I’ll explain it to you someday.”

Dapihapon

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 16:20:00 +0000

Magtatakipsilim na naman. Mag-iisang taon na pala mula nang naramdaman ko ang ganito. Bakit nga ba hindi mapuknit sa aking isipan ang iyong maamong mukha? Bakit ba tuwing magagawi na lamang ako sa dalampasigang ito ay muling bumabalik ang mga masasaya nating alaala? Alaalang nagsisilbing lason na unti-unting pumapatay sa akin.

Dapithapon nang una tayong nagkakilala. Halos hindi tayo magkamayaw sa pagkukuwentuhan habang naglalakad sa tabing-dagat at namumulot ng mga sigay. Kung minsan nama’y palihim tayong nagtatagpo sa gabi; humihiga sa buhanginan habang tinatanaw ang mga bituin. Minsan nga, naitanong mo ang aking mga pangarap na isang buntong-hininga lamang ang naging katugunan.

Ninais ko ring huwag nang uminog pa ang mundo ng mga panahong iyon at huwag nang umandar pa ang orasan dahil batid kong ang bawat tiktak nito’y hudyat din ng ating nalalapit na paghihiwalay.

Nang dumating ang araw na aking kinatatakutan, nangako tayong magtatagpo rito taun-taon. Ngunit nasaan na ang iyong pangako? Ah! Sana’y nakita ko noon pa ang tunay mong pagkatao. Sana’y nalaman ko nang maaga na bawat salita palang binibigkas mo ay taliwas sa iyong damdamin. Sana’y nabatid ko na pagkakaibigan lang pala ang tangi mong nais na inakala kong pag-ibig na. Sana’y nakita ko ang mga ito noon pa. Disinsana’y hindi ako naghintay, umasa…masakit pala.

Ang tabing-dagat ang siyang nagsilbing saksi sa inakala kong isang wagas na pagmamahalan. Ang bawat paglubog ng araw dito ay lagi na lamang nagpapaalaala sa akin ng ating mga masasayang sandali. ‘Di ko na rin alintana ang pagtulo ng luha sa aking mga pisngi. Kung alam mo lamang na sa tuwing sasapit ang mga panahong ganito, ako’y nasasabik na masilayan kang muli. Ang iyong mga nangungusap na mata, nakahahawang halakhak at paglalambing ay lalo lamang nagpapatindi sa aking nararamdaman.

“Tanga ba akong talaga o sadyang mahal lang kita?” Minsan ko nang naitanong sa aking sarili.

Sa bawat pamamaalam ng araw ay para bang lalo akong nawawalan ng pag-asang makita kang muli, dahil batid kong may sarili ka nang mundo ngayon at masakit mang isipin, alam kong hindi na ako bahagi noon. Baka nga sa pagbalik mo ay hindi mo na ako kilala…iyon ay kung babalik ka pa.

Takipsilim na at makikita ang isang taong nakatanaw sa dagat na wari’y may hinihintay. Lagi siyang ganoon…

Lagi akong ganito. Naghihintay pa rin sa pagbabalik mo. Isang suntok sa buwan ang pangarap na ito. Ngunit sana’y malaman mo, narito lamang ako, naghihintay sa dalampasigang ito. Kung saan mo ako iniwan, doon mo pa rin ako mababalikan.

Rendezvous

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 09:12:00 +0000

It’s been barely a year since I first saw you. There you were wearing your olive green jacket. You glanced my way but I wasn’t really sure if you even noticed me.

Well, sure enough, you saw me but you really didn’t see me. My friend has told me so many things about you. That you already have someone special in your life and that with that looks you have, it’s pretty obvious that you’re a player.

It’s very rare that you visit the floor and whenever you do, I can’t keep myself from standing to search every bay and post to see whose PC you’re fixing this time. Am I mean or what? Because sometimes I wish that all the computers in the floor would all crash down so I’ll get to see you the whole day and you’ll never hide again in your secret hideout.

But there came a time that I told myself to stop dreaming about you because you’re just too impossible for me, besides I also have someone special in my life so what’s the point of yearning for you. After all, you don’t even know that I exist.

Time fleetingly passed by and nothing’s changed. Every time I see you, my heart still skips a beat and I feel the urge to come up and talk to you but I was too afraid thinking that with such busy schedule that you have, you don’t have the time in your hands to talk to someone whom you don’t even know. I’ve been thinking of smiling at you whenever our eyes meet but I was too paranoid thinking that when I do, you’ll see in my eyes the feelings I’ve been keeping inside. I know you have caught me so many times catching stolen glances at you so I assumed you already know that I do like you.

Well, it must be true that “Whenever God closes a door, He opens a window”. Because you suddenly came into my life just in time. But…did I also came just in time or am I wrong timing again?

Everything started with that 7 hued arch in the sky every after the rain, and that’s what exactly you are to me. Yes, you’re my rainbow after the rain. You turned my gloomy sky into a colorful one. But still, there’s this certain fear that keeps me from believing that you’re for real. See, your love life was in a shamble that time and I don’t want to meddle in a situation like that anymore, I guess I’ve had enough of it. I’m scared to think that like the rainbow, you’ll also vanish into thin air after bringing color into my sky.

And who would’ve thought that fairy tales could still come true? I’ve already set aside that dream of mine before but everything went against it just when I’m about to curse that thing they call LOVE.

Now, you’re here, in front of me, I know I’m into a deep fall again and though how many times I tried reiterating to myself that you won’t see me the way I see you, still I gave in. Sometimes I want to slap myself for me to wake up from this dream of mine, for this illusion might just turn out to be a disillusion after again another month or so.

Actually I want to thank the person who broke my heart before, for if it weren’t for her, I won’t be able to feel the ecstasy you’ve been giving me. If it weren’t for her you won’t even notice that I exist because of my non-stop whining about her.

Well, everything happened so fast, in just a span of 2 months we’re already inseparable. I must have done something good in the past for having you in my life right now. Who would have thought that a poor girl like me who’s just contented in loving you from afar would actually get the chance to know you, tell you I love you and be with you. Miracle or whatever you want to say, all I know is that you are my DREAM COME TRUE.

But still, there’s this certain fear. A fear that I might lose you someday. Yes I love you and so do you, but there’s this particular thing that keeps us from getting too much involved with each other. No strings attached as what they usually call it.

I know I am into another tear-jerking situation again but I love you and I’m willing to wait for you. I know how weary I am already for all the heartaches I’ve been through, I’ve had enough of my “begging attention days”. Been there, done that. Don’t worry, I can handle this, I really love hurting myself, I think it’s becoming one of my favorite hobbies already.

Yes, you’re not mine and I don’t have all the rights in the world to ask where you are, where you’ve been and who’s with you. After all, it’s just ME…I’ll just be deaf in everything I hear, I’ll just be blind in everything that I see and I’ll just be numb in everything that I feel. Yes, numb! That’s what I already am.

Well, I just want you to know how much I treasure you. You’re not mine, I know, but I still believe that someday time will come that you’ll turn my dream into an official reality.I also hope that one day, I’ll just wake up and find out that you’re already ready to stand for what you feel without extra baggage with you. I’ll wait no matter how long it would take…I’ll wait.

But please don’t make my waiting like an eternity. Because the least thing I would want to happen is getting tired after everything and then finding out you’re all set again to make everything official. And for the nth time, I’m telling you this, I’m not the person who easily gets tired of someone especially if the person is just too special like you. I hate waiting but for you I will make an exemption. You know I’m just here, and anytime you want to meet me and make everything all right, don’t hesitate to go. I’ll just be still and wait here in our meeting place. For now, I’ll just stay here and wait till you come and tell me that you’re now ready to spend the rest of your life with me.

You Love Him,..You Love Him Not

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 08:12:00 +0000

You can’t sleep every night because every time you close your eyes, it’s his face you see. You said it was only a crush but are you sure you aren’t head over heels with this major cutie?

Read the following signs to find out if you’ve fallen really hard over your dream dude or he’s merely an infatuation.

You find yourself saving all his text messages for you and even jot it down in your diary, with… take note, the date and time it was sent.

You started fishing information about him,.

You find yourself going to the places where he usually hangs out.

You keep all the little things he has given you, even that scratch paper you asked from him during examination.

You don’t mind talking to him on the phone for more than an hour even if it’s already your final exam the next day.

His number is on the speed dial of your cell phone, and you’ve actually memorized it, even his landline number.

You unconsciously find yourself scribbling his name on every page of your notebook.

You invent different names out of your names combines. (Actually it’s the name of your future child with him. Dream on!)

You think that all his jokes are funny (even the ones that are not).

Even if he’s really getting on your nerves, you just can’t stay mad at him. A simple text or a smile from him is already enough to melt your heart away. (sigh!)

You’ve memorized all his favorite songs and even practiced singing them (It doesn’t matter whether it’s a love song, R&B or rock)

You stated to read his horoscope. Who knows what lies ahead of his future, maybe it’s you.

Your heart skips a beat every time you hear his name

You’d never decline his invitation (not unless you’re bed-ridden or just really insane)

You’d take the risk to call him just to hear him say “hello” and after that hang up the phone (just be sure he doesn’t have a caller ID

The Fallacy on Homosexual Relationships: Is it Love or Lust?

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 02:44:00 +0000

It is still difficult to fathom why Homosexual love exists because since time immemorial it has been branded that Homosexuality is immoral and plainly wrong. Others relate Homosexual love to lust thus giving an impression that God strongly condemns this affection because lust is considered one of the seven capital sins which was later manifested through the fall of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Others blatantly pronounced this act as ethically wrong and strongly stand on their views that there is no such thing as love between persons of the same sex and gays only misunderstood their sexual desire to love to give justification on their relationships. On the other hand, supporters of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexuals strongly articulate that such belief are nothing else but narrow mindedness and arrogance.

Perhaps the first thing that one must determine in order to assert if Same-sex love is promiscuous is the question of Homosexuality. Some believe that “anything unnatural is sinful, and that homosexual sex is unnatural” (Gay Church n.d.) But according to UCLA GBLT, homosexuality is not unnatural since it occurs generation after generation, despite some cultures' strong prohibitions. The article also stressed that ones sexuality or gender is not a choice, rather it chooses the person. Just like one cannot choose the color of his eyes and his being left-handed. (UCLA Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Campus Resource Center n.d.) So, if Homosexuality is natural, then it can be concluded that Homosexual love can also be considered as a Heterosexual love and cannot be considered as a threat to the society.

“Love is a force of nature” so goes the teaser of a controversial film that shocked the film industry in U.S. Brokeback Mountain is a film which tells the story of two young men – a ranch-hand and a rodeo cowboy – who meet in the summer of 1963, and unexpectedly forge a lifelong connection, one whose complications, joys and tragedies provide a testament to the endurance and power of love. (Johnson n.d.) Contrary to the usual notion, this movie is not primarily to promote gayness in any form neither a western film about cowboys but a film about human and a picture of love in a different perspective. A love between two men.

With this, the issue about homosexual relationship, especially in US, aroused several arguments once more and still, non partisan consistently condemn and reiterate that love, not in God’s plan, is not love at all. Love and lust are often misconstrued but the only way to know which is which is to test their longevity. It has been tried and tested, love can withstand years while lust can only last in just a few days or even in just an hour. So, if one’s going to look at it clearly, if Homosexual relationship is only about lust, how does one explain relationship of this kind that lasted for so many years and some, even forever?

While it is true that each person has a free will to choose whom to love, still, it is easier said than done. And yes, love is indeed a force of nature that once it hit someone, it leaves people weak, disabling them to fight that compelling attraction to someone, regardless of age and even gender. Who have heard of someone wishing “Someday I’ll grow up and I’ll marry a girl like me and we’ll live happily ever after.” No one! Destiny or not, God has a reason for everything, even the beat of one’s heart has an explanation.

Perhaps the greatest gift that mankind can receive is world peace. Everyone has been wishing for that what seem so distant word but still it remained far-flung from humanity. Why? Simply because up to now, instead of people walking their talk of spreading love all over the world, they let their bigotry rule over them without even giving chance for others to love and be loved in return. Jesse Davis (Inner Self n.d.) emphasized in his article that Gay people also live on the same planet with the rest of the people and everyone should be open about it instead of pretending that they don’t exist.

If it’s morally wrong to love a person who is of the same sex as hers then how can one typecast someone who straightly condemns and discriminate his fellowman? Also, as what is mentioned in the article, “Accepting homosexuality”, time will come that members of the third sex will soon be dating and seeking companionship from members of their same sex. (Davis n.d.) It’s a known fact, just like heterosexuals, homosexuals are also humans who need love just like anyone else. It would be so unjust to forbid them from the thing that is human nature.

Maybe it would take a long time for everyone to accept the reality that Homosexual love exists and needs the respect it deserves. That these people did not choose to be gays or lesbians nor to be a hazard in the society. If some people think that Homosexuality is such a sad life, then think again, perhaps it’s also them who make the lives of these persons depressing by reproaching them to exercise their rights to love. The formula is simple, people just need to understand and respect every individual regardless of their sexual orientation and stop being too righteous because each person is equal in the eyes of God in spite of color, age, profession and gender.

As what Lowe said in his article “…you cannot reason a person out of a position he/she did not get into by reason in the first place. So very many have no reason, only prejudice, for their homophobia, for they have never studied homosexuality.” (Gay Church n.d.) Therefore, it is hard to argue with someone on a topic as sensitive as Homosexual Love, especially if the person have not had any experiences yet dealing with the third sex. Moreover, if his eyes are still shut and his mind is still close refusing to accept the real world outside his comfort zone.

References:

Davis, J., [no date]. Accepting Homosexuality. [online]. Altamonte Springs Florida &

Delta, British Columbia. Available from http://www.innerself.com/

Relationships/accept_homosexuality.htm [Accessed 13 March 2006].

Johnson, R., [no date].Brokeback Mountain [online] New York Times Company.

Available from http://gaylife.about.com/od/moviestheatre/a/brokebackmovie.htm

[Accessed 13 March 2006].

Lowe, B., [no date]. Appendix B. Bible Passages on Same-Gender Sex [online]. GALIP

Foundation. Available from http://www.gaychurch.org/Gay_and_Christian_YES/

a_letter_to_louise/Appendix_B.htm [Accessed 14 March 2006].

UCLA Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Campus Resource Center., [no date]. What

Does It Mean? [online] UCLA.Available from http://www.lgbt.ucla.edu/what%20does%

20it%20mean.htm [Accessed 13 March 2006].

Mailing List: Subscribe Or Unsubscribe?

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 04:21:00 +0000

“It’s not about what you know but who you know”

This statement is true when it comes to marketing. Competition nowadays is very stiff and as a businessman, one can no longer ensure the stableness of his business like the way it used to be. Different enterprises has been sprouting like mushrooms that in just a blink of an eye he will just wake up and realize that his business is already down to its foreclosure. Entrepreneurs cannot always rely on the loyalty of the customers either since if they are given a more attractive price, goods and services, then definitely, they won’t even hesitate to switch to its competitor.

Now this is where marketing enters the picture. The most important thing in business is retention and to always keeps the business in the spotlight. And establishing contacts always does the magic when marketing is the topic. It’s just a matter of getting the right information from the right person.

So how does one establish contacts anyway? There are several ways on how to produce wide arrays of connection to make product marketing much easier. Ever heard of the term “Mailing list?” Mailing list is a list of names and e-mail addresses. On the other hand, this list may also include home address of a person. From this list collected, forms a database which is very important if one is dealing with an online marketing sector.

At this moment, the question at hand is where to get that list of names and e-mail addresses? The basic way to build a mailing list is by securing names and address information from people who shows interest in a particular product. Some coffee shops, usually have fish bowls positioned in an area near the counter where customers can easily spot it and drop their business cards for free mailing lists if ever the coffee shop have an upcoming promos.

For online marketing, one should regard the mailing list as the most important facet in a business because without customers there would be no profit. Thus, they should be taken care of, both old and new.

There are various ways wherein one can get the information he wanted, for increase of contacts, through the internet. Many hate pop ups but promoters of particular services or products actually love pop ups that they even pay just to have them. But why break bones when you can have pop ups do all the workings? Plus the good news is that these allegedly annoying stuffs are only for free.

The website http://www.homemadebooklets.com offers a free account to let your promo and services appear through pop up windows in somebody else’s homepage. Well, that’s too much of an exposure and worth the two minutes you spent on just signing in.

So how does this work? When a pop up window appears in the middle of the net surfing, tendency is that the user will just ignore it and click the “x” button without even taking time to read its content. Others, who get irritated with the windows that continuously show up, will eventually decide to take time in reading what that window was trying to convey, and if the offer interests him, he’ll just simply check the box to get a free report or offer. Here’s the catch, once they did that, they will be automatically added to the auto responder series and he can be contacted automatically by the owner of the pop up without the latter even lifting a finger.

Aside from pop-ups, special offers by TIME.com and CNN.com is one good way of gathering e-mail addresses as a part of their mailing list. The objective is clear, visitor or even regular patrons of the site who wants to avail of the special offer “Get 6 issues of TIME for only $1.99” just needs to simply fill out the order form and give out information like names and e-mail addresses. This also goes with CNN’s free membership. The member benefits they are offering like breaking news e-mail alerts, sports news and score alerts, CNN/Money's portfolio tracker and a wide variety of e-mail newsletters plus the games and trivia is really an offer without even spending even a cent.All of these just for an e-mail address only and giving it out with a reputable company like TIME and CNN won’t hurt either.

They say that it is a lot harder to acquire new customers than to keep a current one, but wouldn’t it be nice to have the loyalty and trust of both? Keep in mind that business is all about marketing and networking. Take care of the current, look out for future and watch how the mailing list grows. Then, at the end of the day, one will realize that a marketing genius can really go far in business but a person with lots of links and contacts can go farthest.

Sources:

http://www.soaringprofits.com
http://www.asashop.org
http://www.entrepreneur.com

How Contagious is the Viral Marketing?

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 04:20:00 +0000

Everyone who’s involved in marketing or advertising has already mastered the art of reaching their target consumers in a fast, effective, easy and even cheapest way. There are lots of ways and means on how to touch prospective clients and the television is proven to be the most effective yet expensive way. Nevertheless, with the fast boom of technology, the Internet is now also considered as one of the easiest and comfortable avenue to disseminate product awareness.

The word “free”, perhaps, is the most compelling word in a marketer’s vocabulary and this is basically what Viral Marketing is all about. From the term itself, which is coined from the word “Virus”, viral marketing is a marketing technique which is similar to a spread of an epidemic that can reach others through word of mouth to increase brand consciousness.

Viral Marketing has been popular because it’s been proven to be more efficient than the others. It makes advertising easier, and it can obtain a high and rapid response rate at a relative low-cost. Remember, if one likes a particular service, a person will tell it to his friend then his friend will pass it to her friend, therefore, a word or mouth marketing starts. However, one main weakness of this technique is that messages, which are usually send through e-mails may look like spam mails, thus creating a bad impression on the brand and without knowing it, the said promotional messages will just be sent to the e-mail’s trash bin.

One typical example of viral marketing is the Hotmail.com wherein the tactic goes like this. They give away free e-mail service, then every message they sent has a simple tag at the bottom which says “Get your private, free email at http://www.hotmail.com”. On the other hand, those who receives the e-mail will be able to see the note below the message and it will encourage them to get their own e-mail address with hotmail since it is just for free then the list goes on, the propelling of message to reach a number of recipients hence increasing social networks.

There are several types of viral messages and methods of transmission. One type is the pass-along message which encourages users to pass the message to others. One example of this is chain letters which prompts readers at the end of the message to forward the e-mail to a number of users believing that they’ll get good luck if forwarded and bad luck if done otherwise. Another form would be the infamous anonymous matching on ecrush.com which requires a user to create a list of friends or acquaintances they secretly crush on. A match only happens if the object of their affection responds by logging in and does the same. Most of these services allow users to email anonymous messages notifying them that a concealed person fancies them. Hopeful romantics become hooked up on this marketing as they aim to find out if their crush also feels the same for them.

Also, the process of dissemination can occur in various ways. It may be through word of web where it converts web-based information into an e-mail. One classic example is the article from CNN.com wherein there’s a link that encourages someone to send a particular article to a friend. Another sample would be the word of email, which is considered to be the most common type. It’s just the simple forwarding and exchanging of e-mails such as jokes and the like. But perhaps, the fastest mode of transmission would be through instant messaging such as Yahoo messenger, ICQ, Google and MSN since this is most popular among young people and a link referred by a friend is more likely safe than by some unknown sender through e-mails.

Sometimes marketing companies even offer rewards or special offers for referring customers, encouraging the use of the aforementioned methods. Freebies and discounts can be music to the ear of everyone especially if acquiring them is just as easy as counting from one to three. This is probably one of the main reasons why marketers prefer this technique among others.

For a viral marketing to be successful, an effortless transfer of marketing message to others is important and this works famously on the internet because on the spot transmission is a lot undemanding and less costly. Also, from a marketing point of view, it is essential that the message to be transferred is simple to avoid degradation. In short, the principle of KISS must be followed. Keep it short and simple so that marketing message would not trigger the recipient to aim the mouse pointer to the “report as spam” button.

Sources:

http://www.wilsonweb.com/wmt5/viral-principles.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viral_marketing

Ebooks: Now You're Talking

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 04:02:00 +0000

Electronic books or commonly known as Ebooks are fast becoming popular with today’s busy lifestyle. This is especially suitable for those people who don’t have much time in their hands to read books but can’t get their favorite sci-fi books out of their hands.

Ebooks can be acquired through the net with fee or sometimes even for free. It has become increasingly common that e-books can get pretty quite addictive at times. And why not? Getting an e-book spare someone from traveling to the nearest bookstore to get his very own copy of his much beloved series not to mention that it’s only for free and won’t even eat up a single space in the book shelf.

Ebooks can be enjoyed on laptops, Palm, or even Pocket PC. But guess what? Fanatics can still get hold of the stories they want while doing something else sans the strain in the eyes they get from reading. So give those eyes some rest and let the ears do the working.

Now, the latest innovation of ebook is finally here to meet the growing demands of readers, who, in spite of their active schedules, still want to catch up with their pledge of being ultimate book worms. The Audio Ebooks are the digital counterpart of a traditional book on a tape wherein the content is in Mp3 format that can be played on a computer, cassette player or even on portable Mp3 players. Nowadays, aside from the old tapes and CDs that are being used, there are actually a lot of free and paid audio ebooks that can be found on the net.

Some of the well-known audio ebooks that are now available are the A Midsummer Night's Dream of William Shakespeare, Don Quixote by Migeul de Cervantes,The Hunchback of Notre-Dame by Victor Hugo and Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn. Complete listings of free audio ebooks can also be downloaded on the Project Gutenberg site which is http://www.gutenberg.org/audio/thelist_computer.

Audio ebooks can also be a big help to children who loves books but can’t read yet because some fairy tales have with them a CD which can be played along as the child scans the pages of her book. In that way, the child gets to know the story of Cinderella even before she learns how to read. What's even great about exposing children in audio books at a young age helps hone the child’s listening and comprehension skills plus it sharpens ones imaginations.

Also, aside from books, lectures, public radio programs, newspapers, such as New York Times, and magazines, which includes Scientific American, an audio ebook version of them is also available for easy comprehension and comfort.

In addition, if one feels overwhelmed enough to create his library of audio ebooks, there are also some useful sites on the web which converts ebooks to audio.

With the help of TextAloud.com, converting of ebooks to audio can be hassle free already. This site also offers a variety of voices to choose from that it’s impossible not to think that a real person is actually reading the text in live. Perhaps, it is because behind those voices are the author of the books itself or a professional actor.

Have a penchant for foreign languages? TextAloud.com can also help you in learning Spanish, French and German because they also read ebooks using the following languages. It’s like hitting two birds at a time. You get to learn other languages while listening to a story. What an offer, right?

In the near future, with the vast booming technology, it is not hard to visualize seeing more number of people walking or just simply sitting in one corner with ear phones stuck on their ears with a distant look in their eyes as if they are being traveled into some distant place. Don’t fret, they’re just too amused and focused on their audio ebooks that they couldn’t care less of what people might think.

So the next time, while stuck up in a traffic, waiting in queue for a movie or even while traveling in a bus , instead offreaking out or killing yourself from boredom, why not get your Mp3s and give your ears some exercise and your brain some food?

Sources:

http://www.gutenberg.org/audio/thelist_computer
http://nextup.com/TextAloud/ebooks-to-audio.html
http://www.lib.rochester.edu/main/newsletter1-5/vol5-audio_ebooks.htm
http://www.successconsciousness.com/ebooks_benefits.htm
http://childrensbooks.about.com/cs/forparents/a/audiobooks.htm

From Capeside to Cruise’s Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 12:50:00 +0000

Image taken from Eonline

Who would forget the girl-next-door from Dawson’s Creek? Dawson’s best chum who then became Pacey’s love interest. The bubbly, green-eyed girl in the titular waterway at Capeside who usually sports a tank top with matching faded jeans. And the naïve girl who sang Les Miserable’s “On my own” in her school in a squeaky, little voice.

Yes, I’m pertaining to no other than Joey Potter, better known as Katie Holmes in real life. And this teeny bopper has actually transformed herself into a full grown actress, future Mrs. Cruise and a mom to be on her child from the latter.

Katie Noelle Holmes was born and raised in Toledo, Ohio. And having been brought up in the country side probably gave an edge to her in portraying the role of Josephine Potter naturally. Also, during an interview by E! with the Holmes family, mom Kathleen referred Katie, the youngest in the brood in five, as the one who is the most headstrong that she even had to go out and buy some books which

tackles the “strong willed” child to help her cope up with Katie. Martin, her

father, also added that Katie most likely got her determination from the fact that she was born two months premature and was forced to fight early on.

Because she was to tall and gangly as compared with other girls of her age, and with a very athletic family, she was encourage by her father to be engaged in sports but later on have to give it up to focus more in performing arts which included voice and dance lessons and drama. She also enrolled in Margaret O’ Brien’s Modeling School in Toledo wherein she wowed both judges and talents scouts in an annual convention in New York, when she modeled, danced, and performed a monologue from To Kill a Mockingbird (taod.com)

After starring in Ice Storm, Holmes was offered the part of Buffy in WB’s Buffy the vampire slayer but turned it down to be able to pursue Highs school.

It was the year 1998 that ushered Holmes into a career in show business where she portrayed a young High schooler at Capeside High together with three other young celebrities (James Van Der Beek, Joshua Jackson and Michelle Williams). “I'm a lot like Joey," she said. I think they saw that. I come from a small town. I was a tomboy.” Katie pointed out when asked about how she got the part of Joey. But little did everyone know, she declined the first audition for Dawson’s Creek because it coincided with the opening of her High school Play. Yes, she’s into theater arts and that must have explained why she was able to penetrate in Hollywood because it was really in a stage play where she was first sighted and asked to put her acting skills into a higher level. Supposedly, the role of Joey Potter was nearly given to Selma Blair but Katies’ audition tape, made in her basement with her mother playing Dawson, impressed the casting director’s so much that he was willing to reschedule the audition.

From then on, Hollywood and fans alike can’t get enough of this 5’9” brunette who captured everyone’s heart, including Jerry McGuire’s (Tom Cruise). Cruise’s may not have had Katie “at hello” but there’s no need for that anymore because even before he can utter a single word, he already have Katie’s heart. For this smart, sassy lass confessed that she has a lifelong crush on fiancé and used to think that she was going to marry him. (Hollywood.com) Well, Katie’s Fairy God Mother must have heard her long time wish that she finally granted the girl’s wish after having two celebrity relationships with Joshua Jackson, her co-star in Dawson’s creek and Chris Klein, an actor and a Midwesterner like her.

It was in the early morning of June 17, 2005 that Tom proposed to Katie atop the EiffelTower in Paris. And with such a romantic view and sweet proposal, who could resist an offer from this hot dude?

Few months after the proposal, October 5, 2005, People magazine spilled the beans about Katie’s pregnancy. The child will be Holmes’ first as well as Tom’s first biological child since he has two adopted children, a boy and a girl, from his marriage to Nicole Kidman.

The IT couple even promised to name their child Dellen Cruise, after the talk show queen Ellen Degeneres, as gratitude, when she jokingly offered to baby sit their child for free during the couple’s appearance in Degenere’s show.

Truly, Katie’s rise to stardom is just too overwhelming. Not just that, after ditching several roles and stints for her studies and school play, still she landed the much coveted role of Joey Potter. It just shows that this girl really has something in her that’s just too hard not to take notice. And who would have thought that this once premature baby would also reach her fame prematurely and a once ordinary green-eyed girl is now turning almost every girl’s eye green also for landing into the role of a lifetime to becoming the beautiful bride of one of Hollywood’s biggest movie star.

References:

http://www.answers.com/topic/katie-holmes

http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/id/2439971

http://www.eonline.com/Facts/People/Bio/0,128,49645,00.html

http://www.dawsonscreek.com/

http://www.taod.com/modules.php?name=site&profile=katie

http://www.celebvilla.com/celebrity_gossip/20060114051757.html

http://www.style.com/w/feat_story/070505/full_page.html

Filthy Hands (Chapter Three)

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 08:59:00 +0000

It is already late at night, but one could hardly see the stars for all the smog and haze emanating from the numerous vehicles still clogging the streets. Agnes was busy chatting with the other call girls as Monique hurried up to her.

“Agnes, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. Have I got the biggest news ever! I’m in love!” Monique squealed as she shook her friend’s shoulders.

Agnes shoved Monique away and looked at her with scorn. Letting out a low, mocking laugh. Agnes retorted, “Silly! You? In love? Since when did you learn to fall in love? People like us don’t have any right to fall in love. Love is not even in our vocabulary, it’s just a hindrance in this kind of job.”

Monique stared at the air dreamily ignoring her friend’s remarks. “All people have the right to fall in love, and this time I know it’s for real.”

Agnes abruptly looked at Monique and slowly shook her head. “Hello?! Are you alright? What are you talking about? I’ve heard that line a hundred times already.” Then letting out a big sigh, Agnes stared at Monique wide-eyed and sarcastically asked. “Whatever! I just don’t want you to be hurt again. So, who’s the poor guy?”

Monique looks at Agnes, eyes beaming with happiness, like a teenaged girl going out on her first date, and spills the beans to her friend. “Mike…Mike Delos Santos”

“Mike Delos Santos?” Agnes repeats, as if trying to recall something. “Isn’t he the cute guy who’s been hanging around you these past few days?”

“Yes, that’s him!” Monique replies dreamily. “And you know what, when we did it, I really felt love. It’s so different, the feeling is inexplicable.”

“Yeah right!” Agnes rolls her eyes and walks towards a car parked on the other side of the road. “I think you better start working now, okay?” Agnes snorts back at her friend.

~0~

The house was pitch black, and a loud knocking can be heard. Suddenly, the front door pulls open revealing a shadow of a man, Mike.

“Monique, Monique, Monique…” Mike calls upon entering Monique’s home. Realizing that no one’s around, Mike decides to sit down and switch on the tiny lampshade beside the couch. The lamp switch echoed through the silent apartment, the dim light doing little to dispel the creepiness permeating the room.

After starring in space for a couple of minutes, Mike notices an album lying under the center table. He opens the album, which looked like it hand’t been opened for ages. Mike blows away the thick layer of dust covering the album as he carefully turns the pages, eyes squinting in the dim light.

Staring at a family photo of Monique, he wonders out aloud “Hmmm…I wonder who this girl is?” Mike stands up and walks closer towards the light to get a better view. “I thought she was an only child…”

Deep in his own thoughts, Mike suddenly hears footsteps and a crash. Initially surprised, he decides to ignore the noise and radio his colleagues. “This is Mike, can you hear me?” Mike speaks into the little radio transmitter he retrieved from his back pocket, all the while keeping an eye on the room from which the noise seemed to come from.

He continues to skim through the album, failing to notice the shadowy figure of a girl approaching silently. The girl, with long wavy hair and a slim figure, appears to be in her late teens. She seems to be out of her wits, looking jerkily from left to right, as if checking to see if anybody else was around.

The girl was inches away from Mike, when sensing something, he looks up and is startled to see a young girl in front of him.

“Who...who are you?!” Mike stammers loudly, as he draws his gun and points it at the strange girl.
“No! No! Don’t hurt me, please! I’m not the killer!” The girl cries out, as she attempts to cover herself with her arms.

A look of astonishment crosses Mike’s face. “What do you mean? Do you know something about the killings?” Mike responds in a calm voice, and slowly puts away his gun.

Seeing that Mike has calmed down, the girl lowers her hands and quietly responds. “Ahhh… yeah, I do! But I’m not the killer, it wasn’t me, I swear!” The girl starts to cry, a scared look on her face.

Mike approaches the crying girl. “Yeah, I know…But do you know who it is?” He asks, a mixture of concern and curiosity on his face.

“It’s...it’s Monique! Yes, Monique, my sister, she’s the killer!” The girl cries and buries her face in Mike’s shoulders, as if trying to hide from someone. “She’s the one who killed all those men, she’s the killer!!!”

Mike is stunned by what he just heard. He pushes the girl slowly away from him. “Monique? Your sister? She’s your sister?!”

The girl wipes away her tears, and innocently looks at him. “Yes…she is…”

Mike’s expression suddenly turns sour. “But she’s never mentioned you to me…and this is the first time I’ve ever seen you.”

“That’s because she keeps me locked me up in that room!” The girl replies defensively, pointing at a secluded room. “She locks me up so I wouldn’t be able to tell anybody about the killings! Look, she even keeps tied me up. It’s only now that I’m able to escape.” Angst fills the girl’s every word, as she shows Mike the pieces of rope still binding her hands. Something Mike failed to notice until now.

The girl was in the middle of narrating to Mike how she escaped, when Monique suddenly appears in the doorway, holding a plastic bag full of groceries. Upon seeing Mike and the girl, she drops her groceries.

“What’s the meaning of this!? Mike...Why are you here? Salve?” Monique asked, as she nervously looked from Mike to Salve, and back.

Salve suddenly gets all hysterical and hides behind Mike, crying out. “She’s the killer! Catch her! She’s the one! She’s the killer!”

“Monique, when I was asked to be assigned to this case, I was so sure that you were the killer. But then as I got to know you I began having my doubts. My intuition was still telling me that you were guilty, but I tried to brush it aside, because in that short span of time that I’ve known you, I’ve already learned to love you.” Mike shook his head and looked forlornly at Monique. “But apparently, my intuition was right, I should’ve –“

“But Mike, you don’t understand! She’s lying! What killer are you talking about? I’m not a killer!” Monique cried as she pleaded with Mike.

“Yes you are! She’s the one who’s lying,” shouted Salve, as she continued to cower behind Mike.
“Salve stop! I am not a Liar! Mike, please believe me!”

“And you expect me to believe you, after lying to me? Why didn’t you tell me that you have a sister? And if you’re not guilty, why have you been keeping her tied and locked up all this time? What kind of animal are you?” A look of foreboding and anger slowly growing on Mike’s handsome face.

“Because I was afraid that you might leave me if you found out I had a crazy sister. And she’s very dangerous Mike, that’s why I keep her locked up.” Beseeched Monique.

“Crazy?! Don’t change the subject! If there’s someone who’s crazy here, it’s you! Don’t believe him Mike, she’s just pretending!” Salve shrieked while pulling Mike’s sleeves, like a little girl asking her dad to reprimand her naughty playmate.

“Mike, please!!!” Monique slowly walks towards Mike, her voice quivering. “I’m not the killer! Why won’t you believe me, I love you Mike and I wouldn’t lie to you”! With that, Monique breaks down and starts to cry, tears streaming down her face.

Mike, overcome by his love for Monique, walks slowly towards her to help her get up.
Suddenly, a look of pure evil and loathing crosses Salve’s face, and grabbing a knife lying on the nearby kitchen counter, she stabs Mike on the back. Mike lets out a gasp and crumples to the ground.

“Nooo!!!” Monique screams as she hugs her lover’s lifeless body.

Salve starts laughing at the top of her lungs. “Hahaha!!! Love???!!! What a touching scene! Now where’s your love”? She scoffs at Monique as she slowly dances around the tragic pair.

“Salve, why are you doing this to me? What have I done to you, for you to treat me, like this?” Monique stands up crying.

“What have you done wrong? Sister dear, you’re not that old yet to forget…” Salve crows, a twisted look of malevolence in her face. “No! Mom, Monique! Don’t leave me here, I wanna come with you, please!!” “I was always the outcast, isolated!” Tears begin to stream down Salves face, as she continues to circle around Monique.

“Wow! Is this really for me mom? Oh, it’s so beautiful, how about Salve?” Salve sneers. “You always had the best things. What Monique wants, Monique gets! And me…I was never mom’s favorite! It was always you! You! You!!!” Salve screamed as she covered her ears, as if trying to block out some terrible noise only she could hear.

“Now tell me...what… have… you… done… wrong.” She utters calmly, a pale deadly look on her face as she raises the knife once more, brandishing it slowly in front of Monique’s face.
Monique opened her mouth to speak, when Salve suddenly interjected, “Stop! Sshhh! Do you hear something? What’s that?” Salve still holding the knife, looks wildly around, as if searching for someone.

Seizing the moment, Monique pushes her sister and makes a break for the front door.

“Ooops! Not so fast!” Salve hisses as she blocks Monique’s path.

“Salve, please, let me go!”

“Why? Are you scared sister dear? Don’t worry, I won’t kill you like what I did to your customers.” Salve spits out the words, full of guile and malevolence.

“You! You were the one who killed them?!” Monique yells, the surprised look on her face slowly being replaced by an expression of understanding and terror.

“Of course! Who else?! My, you are slow”

“But how? I locked you up...”

“Hahaha!” Salve cackles as she proceeds to tell Monique how she managed to fool her into thinking that she was still tied up. “You’re such a fool! Just like your customers, wanna join them?!!” Salve shrieks with glee as she aims the knife at Monique. But at the last minute, her hand turns and the knife hits the table. “Hahaha! Just kidding!!! Are you scared now? You know what? In spite of all the pain you’ve caused me, I still love you, look I have a present for you!” Salve crooned in a singsong voice, her hands excitedly digging in her pocket.

“Ahhh!!! Noo!!!” Monique gasps in horror.

“Why? Aren’t they cute? I bet you didn’t like them…” the excited look on Salve’s face slowly turning into disappointment. “See how much I love you sister...I killed those people who fooled you. They don’t love you. They’ll just make you cry. They’ll never make you happy…and I wont let anyone make you happy!!! No one!” Salve utters as her face fills with a fierce look. “But hey… you can still have these.” She holds out her hands, slowly giving the bloody fingers to Monique. “Even if you don’t get to marry them, you can still have their filthy little ring fingers. Filthy fingers from filthy hands. Hahaha…here!!!”

“No!” Monique says, as she shoves Salve’s hand away. “Stay away from me!”
Monique pushes Salve away with all her might and runs towards the kitchen. Grabbing everything in sight as she attempts to block Salve from pursuing her. Salve catches up with her quickly and grabs Monique’s legs.

In the struggle, Monique manages to kick Salve in the face and manages to momentarily gain her freedom. She runs off with a limp but Salve quickly grabs her hand and slices her left arm with the knife.

The door then bursts open and Mike’s colleagues from the NBI steam in. They take one look at the scene and immediately grab Salve and restrain her with handcuffs.

“Hey! What are you doing?! I am not the killer! She’s the killer, she’s the one who killed Mike! I was just defending myself because she was gonna kill me too!” Salve sputters as she struggles to get out of the cop’s grip. “Lemme go! Lemme go! Look, there are the fingers, she’s the one who killed her customers. Not meehhh!!!”

~0~

It was the usual night for the pimps and call girls. A few fresh faces can be seen. A girl in her late teens, with wavy long hair and a perfect figure is the hottest and best buy of all.

Filthy Hands (Chapter Two)

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 08:38:00 +0000

The night fell and once more people who are hungry for flesh and those who sell them for a living infest the streets of Malate. Monique puffed on a cigarette continuously while scouting for prospect clients. As Monique amused herself with smoke rings, two women passed by giving Monique a funny look.

“Hey! Isn’t that Monique, our neighbor?” The first woman nudged her friend, pursing her lips at Monique.

The second woman looked at the call girl, trying futilely to hide a smirk. “Correction, I think you meant…our crazy neighbor. Poor Monique, she really has gone crazy, did you hear her talking to herself the other night?”

“I bet my arm she’s the serial killer everyone’s talking about. Just look at her. She creeps me out.” Scoffed the first woman.

Both of them let out a demeaning laugh which caught Monique’s’ attention. Seeing the dirty look Monique gave them, the two women scurried off, throwing furtive looks at Monique.

Monique stared at her two neighbors, as their hurried forms disappeared in the dark. “Sheeesh. Blabbermouths.” She drawled, rolling her eyes as her friend Agnes approached.

Agnes lit a cigarette as she stood next to her friend. “Hey, heard the news?”

“Apparently not.” Monique retorted in a flat voice.

Agnes’ marble eyes grew bigger as she excitedly told Monique the news that SPO1 Reyes was found dead last Monday night.

“Oh…I knew that.” Monique drawled, unimpressed with Agnes’ news.

“How’d you know? The press doesn’t even know about it.” Agnes replied, a worried look on her face as she peered at Monique’s face more closely.

Monique’s tired expression suddenly turned into alarm, as she stammered her reply. “ Oh! Ah..err..hmm..eh... I meant, he’s a policeman, so it isn’t surprising to know that he was killed or something. That can happen to all cops you know! It comes with the job.”

Agnes looked at her friend suspiciously then diverts the conversation to something else. “Have you heard the rumors? Some people are saying that you’re…”?

“What? That I’m crazy? INSANE? NUTS? WHACKED? What if I tell you that I am? I AM CRAZY!!!” Monique let out a loud cackle as she slowly walked away. Steps measured as if imagining something. She suddenly turns and looks back at her friend. “Duh!”

Agnes moved forward and starts to say something when Monique sees a handsome guy at the corner of her eye. He was standing in a corner, as if looking for someone. He wore a denim blue jacket and dark jeans. Both of his hands were tucked into his pockets. From the clueless look on his face, it’s evident that he was unfamiliar with his surroundings. Monique turns her back on her friend and walks toward the man.

“Hey there stranger. Looking for me?” Monique drawled. Circling the man, checking him out from head to toe.

The guy sheepishly looks around. He smiles shyly at Monique and nods his head.

Monique flashes a wide grin. “So handsome…got a name?” she asked as she let her fingers lightly run over his shoulders, then down his chest.

“Muh..Muh…Mike”

“Well hello Mike, I’m Monique. Mike and Monique…we make a cute pair.” Monique winks at Mike as she languidly walked around him. She gave a slight chuckle as she raised her hands seductively in the air. “M&M, how sweet right?” She giggles, coyly looking at him.

Then, suddenly as if a switch was flipped on, Monique straightened her shoulders and brusquely stated “Okay, enough chit chat. Back to business. What do you want? I can do everything… depending on the price.”

Mike was taken aback by Monique’s forthrightness. “Oh…oh…okay” Mike stammered, giving her a wry smile, which looked like half a wince.

“Whatsa matter? Don’t you want to party?” Monique sneered.

“Oh…oh…of course. I do…I want to.” Mike replied hesitantly.

“My, my, but aren’t you the innocent one. I like that!” Monique teasingly played with Mikes’ hair. “Don’t worry, I think you’re cute, so I’m gonna give you a BIG discount.”

~0~

Monique flicks on the light switch as she opened the door to her pitch-black room.

“So, this is your place?” Mike asked, checking out the place.

Monique put down her bag and proceeds to remove her earrings. “Yeah, it’s a bit small though, isn’t it?”

“Well, I think it’s nice and cozy” He replied, as he stood in one corner. “Do you live alone?”

‘Ummm…yeah, I do! Anyway, just make yourself at home, okay?” Monique proceeds to the kitchen to open the refrigerator. “Want something to drink? Soda, Juice?”

“Water would be great.” Mike begins to relax as he sits down.

Monique gives Mike a glass of water and sits comfortably beside him.

“So, why’d you end up in this line of work?” Mike asked as he takes a sip of water.

Monique was a bit taken a back and raised her eyebrow. “Well, I’ve never been asked that before? Usually they just wanna get it on as soon as they’re through the door. What are you? Some kind of a reporter or something?”

“Oh no. I was just curious. I’m sorry, did I offend you?” Mike turned to look at Monique, concern visible on his face.

“No, not really!” Monique paused and let out a big sigh. “Just surprised. I really didn’t have a choice. My parents died when I was young and I was left with nothing. My dreams are just simple you know. To have a nice house, a family to call my own, and a…a man who will love me for who I am. A man who will finally put a wedding ring on my finger.” She looked away trying to control the tears welling in her eyes. “But sad to say, I’ve always been unlucky when it comes to love. I’ve had a lot of men tell me they want to marry me. Telling me they’ll give me the sun and the moon. In the end they’re all the same. They always leave me with false hopes.” Monique suddenly sits up and shrugs her shoulders. She wipes away the tears and looks pointedly at Mike. “Enough sob stories. So what do you wanna do now?” ‘

Mike gave Monique a forced smile. He looks at her intently. The dingy little room became quiet, so quiet they could already hear the pounding of their hearts. Slowly Mike lean over and begins to kiss Monique.

Filthy Hands (Chapter One)

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 08:20:00 +0000

(This is an original script I have written during my 3rd year in College, and was transformed as a short story with three chapters )

It was the usual night for the pimps and call girls. The busy street, the Christmas lights from different bars and the honking of horns while people chattering together with their boisterous laughter are enough to create chaos. Different species of their kinds can be seen roaming and wandering looking for the perfect customer. Perfect means, the one who has bulky wallet, a big fish.

Agnes approached her friend Monique, and blatantly asked “Hey! How was the night so far?” while chewing her gum. “As usual, same old thing, no customers again!” Monique replied exasperatedly.

While sharing sentiments with each other that night, it suddenly hit Agnes the Japanese Businessman whom she always sees with her friend. “So, how’s Mr. Nakamura? I thought he’s going to marry you?” Agnes asked excitedly. “That creepy old man! He fooled me, he said he’s going to marry me and take me out of this dirty job, and look where I am now? Still here!” Agnes looked at Monique and sarcastically replied “Aren’t you still immune to that? It happened to you for three times already.” “Hah! Funny!!!” Monique said then rolled her eyes on Agnes.

One night before going to her usual work, the only source of light in the room was the small lampshade at the corner. Monique can be seen talking and preparing a food for someone but no one was there with her in the four-cornered walls of her living room, except the furniture.

That same night, Monique was on her usual routine when Agnes ran up to her to let her see the newspaper. “Hey Monique! Look, look!” as she let Monique see the news putting the paper almost right in front of the latter’s face. “What?!” Monique asked irritated after spitting her gum. “Look who’s on the paper, he was the man you’re with last night, right?” Agnes looked at Monique hoping she’d say no. Monique looked closely at the paper and much to Agnes’ dismay, her friend replied yes in a monotonous voice. “So?” Agnes asked Monique anticipating an explanation to what happened that was also answered with “So?” by Monique. “Someone killed him and cut his right finger!” Agnes answered back frustratingly upon seeing that her friend is not even alarmed to what had happen. “And you were the last person whom he was seen with! Are you sure…?” Agnes’ annoyed look suddenly changed into fear while she backed off from her friend without even finishing her sentence “Sure what? Don’t tell me you’re suspecting me.” Monique retorted while raising an eyebrow. “And why not? It seem as though you don’t even care about this thing” was Agnes’ defense. “Why should I? Is he my relative or something? Hah! Good for him, he didn’t paid me the exact amount that we agreed on.” Monique shot back on Agnes with an uneven smile on her face. “But Monique…you don’t get the picture! Aren’t you alarmed, this is the second time that this happened? That all the man you’ve slept with was found dead the next day. The police might suspect you again.”

They were in the middle of the conversation when two Police Officers came and invited Monique for some questionings about the killing incident. Monique tried to let go of the cop’s grip but they were too strong for her. After some interrogations at the headquarters, which led to nowhere since the officers doesn’t have strong proof that Monique was the serial killer, she was then released again just like the previous grilling done to her before.

It was evening and Monique didn’t go out because he wasn’t feeling well that time. She’s in the kitchen preparing food. The kitchen was in shambles that time and mess was everywhere. She was in the middle of slicing the vegetables when she recalled the humiliation done to her last night. “Hah! Those pesky cops! The nerve of them to think that I’m the killer! Do I look like one? Tell me! Or…do you know something about this?” Monique stopped chopping the vegetables then look around her as if talking to some sort of invisible individual, while holding up the knife. “Oh, cut it off! Of course you don’t know anything about this, do you?” Good thing I was still able to get at least one customer last night!”

She was in the middle of her monologue when she heard the flash news over the radio.

“Now let’s hear our 9:00 new. The serial killer strikes again! Miguel Flores, a 29-year-old businessman was found dead in an abandoned lot at Marikina, early this morning. Investigators said that Mr. Flores was last seen with Ms. Monique Santos, a prostitute, early 10:00 p.m. last night. And because of the consecutive killing incidents here in Metro Manila, everyone, especially the male species are advised to take extra care, especially during the night.”

Monique turned off the radio and a lopsided smiled crossed her face. “Monique Santos…the serial killer!” She exclaimed then a piercing laugh echoed in the dim-lit room.

********

Have Yourself A Penny Little Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 08:16:00 +0000

It’s that time of the year once more, the season for sharing and loving. ‘Tis also the moment for stretching one’s budget for the annual Christmas gift shopping. As soon as the “Ber” months hit the calendar, shoppers can be seen scouring malls, in the hope of avoiding the holiday rush. But hey, don’t panic! You still have a few weeks left to plan your major shopping spree this year.

Let me give you some helpful tips on where to plan your gift hunting, down to the strenuous question of what to give to whom sans pushing your budget to its limit. So, what are you still waiting for, ditch those malls and gear yourself up for some adventure.

The best preparation is planning, and that’s what we need to do first. Who will receive a gift from you and what will it be?

a. Mother

b. Father

c. Siblings

d. Godchildren

e. Friends

f. Office mates

g. Significant other

Most Christmas gift lists contain the above mentioned people, unless one has plans on giving distant relatives, neighbors and all the people in your Friendster list presents. So let’s get started.

For Wonder Mom

· Wind chime-Php80-100

· Wall clock - Php100.00

· Different shaped bottles with various preserved spices inside- Php80-100

· Blanket-Php100-120

· Shawl-Php80-100

(All available at Divisoria)

For Super Dad

· Neck tie-Php150 (Divisoria)

· Parker pen with his name engraved on it- Php150-200 (Natl. Bookstore)

· Desk lamp- Php100-200 (Divisoria)

For Sister Dear

· Spandex top – 2 for 180 (Divisoria,St.Francis,Greenhills)

· Chandelier earrings - Php20-25 (Divisoria)

· Cosmetic bags- From Php20 up, uy a minimum of three. (Divisoria)

For Little or Big Brother

· A good book –quite expensive and the price usually depends upon the kind of book, but prices start at Php 250 (Natl. Bookstore, Power Books, Fully Booked)

· CD case- Php150 and up (SM Dept. Store)

· FHM December issue – Php125 (available at any magazine stand)

For Godchildren

· Cute furry bags –Php100 (Divisoria)

· Hello Kitty Watch with interchangeable straps- Php150 (Divisoria)

· A set of water color, crayons and color pencil – Php80-100 (Divisoria,St.Francis,Greenhills)

· Toy Car, Helicopters, Trucks- Php100 (Divisoria)

· Hello Kitty, Disney and Looney Toons Puzzles –Php25.00 (168 Mall)

· Cartoon Beach Towel- Php80 (Divisoria)

· Bratz Girl Pen –Php60-80 (Divisoria)

For Friends

Now, this one is a bit tough. However, the key to this is to give them all similar stuff so as to avoid envy among the group.

· Mix Star Flip flops (looks a lot like Havaianas flip flops) Php150.00.or 250 for two. Available at 168 mall and St Francis Square.

· Hair chopsticks- Php 8.00 if you get at least 6 pcs (168 Mall))

· Stretch Headbands – Php 5.00 if you get at least 6 pcs.(168 Mall)

· News boy, Roxy, Von Dutch & Trucker caps- Php 50.00 (168 Mall)

Colleagues

This one is a lot easier because you can buy wholesale, and little trinkets will do the trick.

· Wooden Magnets w/ notepads –Php 10-20 (wholesale) Php 15.00 for a minimum of 6 (168 Mall)

· Initial Key chains (initial of one’s name) –Php 40 each and 3 for 100 (168 Mall)

· Cartoon Ceramic Pen- Php25 each but cheaper on a per dozen basis (168 mall)

Significant other

The most challenging, yet exciting. I suggest that you make it more personal so it would be sweeter. Your special gift need not be expensive; it’s all up to you. Just keep those creative juices flowing.

· A Caricature/Charcoal painting of his/her face. (This may take 3-5 days; Caricature ranges from 400-500 and charcoal is 800 and up. However if you have a hand like Picasso, money won’t be a problem anymore.)

· Cross stitch of your picture together (I think you should have started this a long time ago, unless stitching is your thing)

· Scrap Book. (All you need to do is organize then plan. This may take a few weeks though)

· Mosaic of your pictures. (If you’re good with computers you can do it yourself. If not, look for a Photo Studio that can do it for you. This can cost roughly Php800,including the printing)

· Spa for two. (The cost would depend on the spa you’d go too, but isn’t it romantic? I suggest Sonya’s Garden in Tagaytay)

· Write a book. (You may need a photographic memory to give a blow by blow account on how you two actually met, unless you keep a diary. You need not be a good writer, just write your love story. This might seem a bit hard at first, but trust me, once you have organized your thoughts, it’ll be much easier than you thought.)

TIANGGE Everywhere…

Now that you’ve got your list all squared away, here are some places where you can definitely get a bargain.

168 Mall (Divisoria)

The tried and tested place for shopping here in Manila. Despite of its ill reputation, different people from all walks of life still swarm this area, especially during the holiday season. For this year, Divisoria veterans and neophytes alike have a new mall to go to, 168 Mall. Just imagine Tutuban Mall, but with more organized stalls and with lots of things to offer at even cheaper prices. If you’re going to ask which is better between the two, well, it’s almost the same, but if you’re going to shop big time and wholesale, 168 Mall is the place to go.

Green Hills Tiangge

The best place to shop for over run imported goods like A&F, Roxy, Billabong, AE and the like; not to mention their shoes, which are almost like the original. If you have expensive tastes but with a tight budget, this is where you need to go. They also have cute swimwear like Roxy, which look really cool despite being faux copies. And for all those “brothas” and “sistahs” in the hood, they have lots of cute “bling, bling” that are just “phat”.

St Francis Square (Ortigas)

If you can’t go to Greenhills, this is your best alternative. The place isn’t that organized yet since it just opened. Nevertheless, St. Francis Square Tiangge looks promising enough for all those shopaholics out there. There are few stalls as of now, but give it few more months and I’m sure that it will be the next spot for hardened hagglers. By the way, a little bird told me that stall rentals at St. Francis Square go for only Php20,000. So if you’re more interested in making money than spending it, might as well give this one a shot.

These are just three alternative places that I suggest you visit for your holiday shopping spree. Just a little advice. Keep haggling and haggling, keep one eye on your purse at all times, and don’t forget the true meaning of Christmas. HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY

The Animator’s Sketch

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 07:41:00 +0000

They are the ones who give life to our favorite characters. Without them, I think life would be dull. Admit it, figuratively and literally, they give color to our lives. With such powerful hands, they bring our wild imaginations closer to reality. It’s high time that we turn the spotlight on the humble cartoon animator. I’ve recently had the pleasure of sitting down with one of Disney’s more prolific animators, Mr. Adelfo Manao, and finding out what makes a good animator tick.

Toni: How long have you been drawing? Did you have any special training for this or was drawing merely a hobby which you’ve parlayed into a job?

Adelfo: I’ve been drawing since I was young. I guess it’s both an inborn talent, and a hobby. I didn’t attend any workshop or classes. I practiced by myself. But if you wanna know how long I’ve been in this profession, that would be 17 years and 8 months. I’ve been a cartoon animator since January 1988. I’ve managed to hold onto this kind of job but it wasn’t always easy. When I was only starting out I had to transfer from one company to another. I spent 3 years in Fil Cartoons Inc. Afterwards I transferred to Moving Images Inc., and spent another 3 years there. Finally I landed a job in one of the biggest animation groups, Walt Disney, specifically with one of their subsidiaries, Toon City Animation Inc. I’ve been with them for most of my career. By the way, all of those companies are based here in the Philippines, although they are under foreign administrations.

T: Who or what encouraged you to draw?

A: Who? Well, that would be my father, Placido Manao, Sr. But encouraged is not exactly the word I would use. It’s more of, influenced. My father was very artistic. As a kid, I would watch him draw and imitate him. That’s how I discovered that I had the talent. But he never gave me formal lessons on how to draw things. Just like any other kid, I used to draw robots and anything from my imagination.

T: How did you get into this industry in the first place?

A: My sister-in-law knew someone from this field who happened to be her client. She told me to send some of my work to her client, which I did. Then after that, I took the required exams, submitted more portfolios, and luckily I passed. Honestly, this is not the kind of career I planned on having. I took up Marine Engineering during college, obviously hoping to become an engineer. But I wasn’t able to finish. I have no regrets thought, for being in this line of work, because I learned to love what drawing. At least, what I’m using here is my talent, and not only what I have learned in school. In other words, I enjoy my work.

T: Any personal favorites among the characters you’ve drawn? If you were to choose become a character in your drawings, who would it be and why?
A: I like all of my work, but I consider Lilo and Stitch as my favorite because we got more projects after it became a hit movie (laughs). Seriously, it is my favorite because they are troublesome but funny characters. And their appearances are appealing to children. As for the other question, I choose Mr. Incredible, because he’s just so incredible! Although he’s old he has remained strong for his family and for the people who need him. And he’s very funny, too.

T: How does it feel getting to see your masterpieces on the big screen?
A: I feel proud. Who wouldn’t, right? Just seeing those figures I drew come to life is a big achievement. Furthermore, to see your name included in the acknowledgement part, that’s the most rewarding part. I get the chance to become famous even for a second. Even though most of the viewers won’t sit and wait to see that part, at least to us animators we know we’re the ones who made those still figures come to life.
T: Is this profession financially rewarding?
A: It is. I think any profession or job will be, if we know how to make use of our time and skills as wisely as we can.
T: Any downside to being a cartoonist or animator?

A: None, I guess. This is a fun job. It’s like playing all the time, only it’s a more serious game.

T: What does it take to be a good cartoonist like you?

A: Of course you’ve got to possess not only talent but also passion for your craft. One must also think and feel like a child in order to create something that will interest your largest market, which are the children. Most of all, one must be very eager to learn.

T: Do you still see yourself holding that pencil 5 to 10 years from now?

A: 5 to 9 years, yes, definitely. But 10 years from now, I guess I’ll still be holding it, but not as a professional animator anymore. By that time, my daughter might have taken my place, not as an animator, but as the new provider for the family. That’s according to her. She wants me to retire once she becomes successful in her chosen field. But it’s a plus factor because she can also draw.

T: Any tips for aspiring cartoonist or animators out there?

A: The only tip that I have in mind for them is to never think that they know all about drawing just because they can do it. Drawing is a very broad field. There are lots of styles, techniques and tricks to be discovered through practice and continuous learning. Most importantly, try to develop your own style and never copy from another artist because each work of art is unique, each stroke is personal.

Salamat Na Lang!

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 13:42:00 +0000

Kay daming sakit na ang napagdaanan
Halos hindi ko na nga mabilang kung ilan
Ngunit pagdating mo sa buhay ko lahat ay nagbago
Nagbigay ka nang panibagong pag-asa dito sa puso ko

Alam kong ang ibigin ka ay bawal
Dahil naging kasintahan mo ang aking kaibigan
Batid ko rin na baka masaktan
Ngunit mapipigilan ba ang puso ‘pag nagmahal?

Kay saya ng araw ko tuwing tayo’y magkasama
Kahit sikreto ang lahat ng ito kahit sa aking pamilya
Tiniis ko ang bawat kaba sa dibdib
Kahit makasama ka lang ang tanging kapalit

Ngunit ang pag-ibig na inakalang kong totoo ay tuluyang nagbago
Makailang sandali lamang akong nawala ay nag-iba ka na
Ang dating mainit mong mga ngiti ay nanlamig na
Kaya pala… may iba ka na

Lahat na halos ng nagawa mo ay pinalampas ko
Ngunit sa kabila nito ako pa rin ay niloko mo
Nagkasundo tayong muli ngunit pangloloko ay inulit mo
Ano bang nagawa ko bakit mo ko ginaganito?

Halos isang taon na rin tayong ganito
Sala sa init, sala sa lamig palagi tayo
Nauubos na ang nadarama ko para sa’yo
Napapagod na ako, kelan ka ba magbabago?

Dumating ang araw na kapwa tayo’y sabay na bumitaw
Napatawad na kahit gaano kasakit ang iyong nagawa
Salamat na lang sa mga alaala mong masasaya
Salamat na rin sa mga masasama

Bukang Liwayway

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 13:38:00 +0000

Nag-aagaw ang dilim at liwanag at makikita ang anyo ng dalawang tao, babae at lalake sa may burol. Nakahilig sa balikat ng lalake ang babae habang nakatanaw sa papalitaw na haring araw.

Apatnapung taon na silang pabalik-balik sa burol na iyon. Sila ay sina Inang Rosa at Tata Isko. Kilalang-kilala sila ng kanilang mga kababaryo. Kapwa sila nasa may sisenta ang edad at mula pagkabata ay bulag.

Beinte anyos ng unang magkakilala ang dalawa, taga kabilang baryo si Tata Isko. Naging madalas ang pagdalaw ni Tata Isko sa baryo nina Inang Rosa dahil nagaangkat ng mga panindang gulay ang kanyang ama at siya ay tumutulong, sa kabilang banda naman ay tindera ng gulay ang ina ni Manang Rosa at gaya ni Tata Isko, ay katu-katulong siya ng ina sa pagtitinda. At dahil dito ay nagkakilala at nagkapalagayan ng loob ang dalawa.

Magkasintahan pa lamang ang dalawa ay madalas na silang tumungo sa burol upang bantayan ang bukang liwayway na siyang ipinagtataka ng mga taga-baryo, dahil paano nga naman nila masisilayan ang pag-akyat ng araw? Bulag sila.

Ngayong araw na ito, alas-singko pa lamang ng umaga ay makikita na ang mag-asawa na naglalakad, hawak ang mga tungkod, patungong burol kahit madili-dilim pa. “ Bilisan mo naman at baka maunahan na tayo ng araw” wika ni Tata Isko. “Heto na nga’t nagmamadali na.” Sabi ni Inang Rosa. Pambihira din itong dalawang matanda dahil kahit mga bulag ay kabisadong-kabisado nila ang daan patungo sa may burol.

Pagkarating sa patutunguhan ay hangos na umupo sa may dulo ng burol ang dalawang matanda. “Buti na lamang at maaga-aga tayo, kundi ay baka hindi natin masilayan ang pagsikat ng gintong araw” pahayag ni Tata Isko. Siniko ni Inang Rosa si Tata Isko sabay wika, “Ano ka ba naman, nakakalimutan mo bang mga bulag tayo, paano natin makikita ang pagsikat ng araw, at paano mo naman nalaman na Ginto nga ang kulay ng araw?" “Bata pa lang ako kinukuwentuhan na ako ng lolo ko ng tungkol sa araw” saad pa ni Tata Isko.

“Meron nga pala akong magandang ibabalita s’yo Isko, alam mo ba na nagpunta ako sa bayan kahapon at nalaman ko sa ospital na tayo na pala ang sunod na nakapila para makakuha ng libreng mata mula sa mga eye donor nila.” Nakangiting pahayag ng matandang babae. “ Rosa, talagang pursigido ka sa plano mong iyan noh? Rosa, matatanda na tayo, nanaisin mo pa bang makakita? Tumanda na tayo ng ganito, hayaan mo na lang sa iba ang mata na sinasabi mo”

“Iyon na nga, mamamatay na lang tayo ay hindi pa natin masisilayan ang ganda ng mundo, atsaka di ba napagusapan na natin ito, aba,gusto ko rin namang makita ang hitsura ng bukang liwayway. Hindi ba’t gusto mo rin naman iyon Isko?” “Ang iniisip ko lang naman ay kung kakayanin pa ba natin ang operasyon” ang banayad na sagot ni Tata Isko.

Patuloy sa ganoong gawain ang dalawang matanda, gigising ng maaga para maabutan ang pagsikat ng araw, sabay uuwi na pagkatapos nito. Magpapakain ng mga alagang hayop at didiligan ang bakurang mayaman sa samut-saring gulay.

Minsang isang bukang liwayway, makikitang naguusap sina Tata Isko at Inang Rosa sa may burol. “ Isko, sa makalawa ay ooperahan na ako para sa eye transplant, sa wakas, animnapung taon na tayo ngunit ngayon ko palang makikita ang mundo, nakakatawa ‘di ba?” Bakas sa mukha ni Nanang Rosa ang pagkasabik. Ngunit nananatiling walang imik si Tata Isko na nakatanaw lamang sa di-kalayuan na wari’y may inaaninag. “Anong problema Isko, gusto mo ikaw na ang mauna sa operasyon?” usisa ni Inang Rosa. “ Hindi, mauna ka na, di ba sa susunod na linggo ay ako naman, mauna ka na.” sabay pisil sa kamay ng asawa.

Umaga, hindi magkamayaw si Manang Rosa kung aling damit ang susuotin. “ Alin ba ang mas bagay, itong kulay asul, puti, o dilaw?" Kabisado na ng matandang babae ang kulay ng kanyang mga bestida kahit hindi pa niya iyon nakikita. “ Kahit ano naman ay babagay sa iyo, madali ka at baka mainip si Doktora, ibigay pa sa iba anng mga mata mo” ang natatawang sambit ni Tata Isko.

Madaling araw na namang muli, ngunit wari’y makulimlim ang kalangitan, makikita ang anyo ng isang matandang lalaki na nakaupo sa may dulo ng burol, nakatanaw sa malayo… si Tata Isko. Noong mismong araw na dapat ay ooperahan si Manang Rosa ay inatake ito sa puso papuntang ospital at hindi na nagawang salbahin pa ng mga doktor. At ang mata na para sana kay Manang Rosa ay inilipat na lamang kay Tata Isko.

“Ngayon, nakikita ko halos lahat mula dito sa taas. Ang mga puno at ang buong kabayanan, lalong-lalo na ang pinakaaasam nating bukang liwayway. Kung buhay ka lang sana Rosa, disinsana’y sabay nating mapagmamasdan ang pagsabog ng liwanag ng Haring Araw. Pero sa kabila ng lahat, alam kong masaya ka na rin kung nasaan ka man ngayon, dahil natupad na ang tanging pangarap natin na mapagmasadan ang bukang liwayway, natupad na mahal ko… kahit ako na lamang mag-isa ang nakatupad nito…”

Sabay ng tuluyang pagangat ng araw ay sinalubong ito ni Tata Isko ng buong lugod at tapang para sa mga darating pang bukas na wala ni si Nanang Rosa sa kanyang tabi, upang pagmasdan ang bukang liwayway.

Internet Motel

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 13:34:00 +0000

Chat room is defined by netalert.net as “ A place on the Internet where people with similar interests can meet and communicate together by typing messages on their computer.” But how far would this messaging take them?

I was in our house last Saturday while watching this documentary show in which one of their topic is all about this specific internet café’ in one of the most busy and crowded streets in Manila and where students can usually be seen loitering at. This Internet café can be found along Avenida.

At first sight, it looks just like your typical cyber café. The location is very strategic since different schools and universities surrounds the area and it’s is the perfect place where students can make their assignments and projects after school. But is that only the main motive why this place is selling like hotcakes especially to the male species?

It’s really true that looks can be deceiving because behind the café’s cubicle, reveals the deep dark secrets of their regular patrons. The usual conversation between the chatters turns into a more intimate and malicious one.

The usual activities of the customers in this Internet café go like this. They go to the place, rent a computer and hook up to net to chat. But if you’re someone who is a keen observer, you’ll notice that after a minute or so, people keeps on going in and out of their cubicles. This is somewhat perplexing because one cubicle is equal to one person only, meaning, no one is allowed to share a cubicle to another person. But what’s somewhat astonishing is that no tenants of the café seem to notice it. Is the place crowded enough for them not to notice these strange activities?

Little by little customers are turning the Internet café into a pick up room or Internet motel. Their customers? Who else but also the customers of the said café. They meet each other at a particular chat room and scout for potential mates who is also inside the cyber café. Upon agreeing on the set up, the exchanging of cubicles happens, or they do their malicious acts outside the place. Regular customers of this place are males and whatever they are doing inside is only between them and the four corners of the booth.

Upon confrontation with the tenants, because the real owner is out of town, they claim that they’re incognizant about this matter because no one dared to divulge the disgusting acts of their patrons. They received a complaint once but just shrugged their shoulders on it since it was never followed by another one again.

Never in my whole life have I ever seen an Internet café separated by a cubicle, what’s this, a restroom? I don’t want to sound too apprehensive but what’s the purpose of these cubicles plus the doors? Privacy when chatting or doing projects is okay but is using the area to let the heat out of their body still part of it? If they want to do their stuffs, no one is reprimanding them to do so, just be sure to do it in a more private place away from the public’s watchful eyes.

And you know what’s really alarming? It’s the safety of our students, specifically the females. Just the thought of a cyber café infested by perverts, within their schools’ vicinity, is very disturbing. Also, what if someone is innocently doing her project on the said cyber café unaware of the lewd acts happening inside the shop, and then there came the pervert and discreetly went inside the girl’s cubicle? I don’t want to think about the next scene anymore but I do hope you get what I’m trying to point out here. And how about the tenants? Who knows, they might not notice it because maybe they’re too busy with something else again to bother their customer’s behaviors anymore. Or, maybe, just maybe, they choose to ignore them, because whatever they’re doing inside the cubicles is not their business anymore, as long as they pay right and they draw customers, then that’s it.

And to the owners of the Internet Café’s out there, please be on guard, let us make sure that our café’s are conducive for Internet researches, paper works, clean entertainment and not for anything else. I know that money makes the world go round but not at all times, let us also take into account our customer’s safety. And by tolerating such acts, have we ever thought what kind of society are we forming for our children?

Alpha and Omega

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 08:12:00 +0000

Sitting here on my bed inside my room, I suddenly felt the urge to sleep because I’ve been up for almost a week now beating deadlines and fixing things that are needed to be done. I saw my multi-hued calendar and tore a page of it to reveal the real month for today. Duh! My emotional side struck again, sometimes I hate this feeling. It’s already March and I can’t hide the fact that I’m feeling kind of strange for the reason that I don’t know.

Out of the blue, I just took out all my albums and started scanning its pages. (Sigh) Here I go again…my album contains all my pictures since I started schooling, from Nursery up to now that I’m already in 4th Year College. Imagine, 17 years of studying, can you visualize how many pictures I have by now?

Every picture tells a story and it’s so funny to look back then. The transformations that I’ve undergone, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally were really amazing. As I closed my album which I also consider the “Book of My Life”, I felt tears welling from my eyes, and before I can I hold it back, I felt a hot tear rolled down my cheek.

I turned off the lights and lie on my bed to catch some rest and to forget the memories that keeps on flooding my mind, but the Glow in the Dark stars all over my room keeps me awake. Sheeshh…Our graduation is fast approaching.

I know you might say that this would again be another article that talks about leaving our dear institution and you’re definitely right. But do you know what makes this article different from the others? Well I wrote this one not for the sake of having something to pass for this last issue of ours, but because ever since I joined The Red Lily, I’ve been always looking forward in writing an article that talks about my four years stay here in Siena. And this is it! Maybe my last article for The Red Lily also. Aww!!! I don’t want to think about it anymore.

When I first entered our school, I asked myself if I really want to study here. Would I be able to get along well with the people here? What kind of clique would I be belong? What would be my College years like? These were just some of the questions that keep on bugging me as I first set my foot at the College Building on the 9th day of June 1999.

Now, I almost lost track of time. I haven’t noticed it’s been four years already since that scenario happened. It seem as though it was just yesterday when we exchanged his and hellos with our classmates and formed a whole gang out of it. The four years of dreadful assignments, examinations, projects and productions were really exhausting yet fun. So many things that we’ve experienced and eventually learned in the process.

I could still remember our clique’s first misunderstanding that really created a big gap between us. I could say that I have nice set of friends and friendship and it’s only but natural to fight over things and issues that made our bonding even stronger. I just thank God because after all those misunderstandings that we’ve undergone, we still stayed as friends. You just don’t know what kind of problems my friends and I have gone through, and if you’d know all of them, I’m pretty much sure you’d wonder why we’re all still friends after everything that had happened.

And now, I can’t believe that we all have to part ways. I know this is not goodbye for us, but I also do know that it would take too long before all our paths cross again. Some may go out of the country and some would be left behind, we might go on different fields and the chance of meeting again may be a little bit possible.

Honestly, I want to stop the clock from running out the time, for every minute that’s consumed only means that our days here in our school are numbered already. Sans hypocrisy, how would I be able to forget our institution that taught me almost everything there is in the world? The institution that made me who I am now. The institution that let me experienced different things. And the institution that became the witness of my successes and failures.

It may sound so funny but I really don’t want to graduate yet, but I have to and I need to. Now is the time to face the real world, this time a new and different world that’s much challenging and scarier than what was taught in school. I’m quite scared because I don’t know if I’m well armed enough to go to the battlefield alone. At this moment, I know I need to be more independent because whatever decision I’ll make would be my destiny so I have to decide sensibly.

Four years in College… so short yet I was able to had a taste of almost everything you could ever imagine. I’m not an A student nor the Life of the Party, I’m just a simple girl who’s always willing to take risk in everything I do and that’s what’s essential in life. You should know how to take risk sometimes. Our school may not be the best school there is, I don’t even know why I studied here, but maybe God has His own reason and that reason is for me to LEARN and GROW not only as an individual but a human.

I’ll surely miss the hallways, classrooms, restrooms, canteen, students, professors and all the personnel here. I feel very privileged to be a part of The Red Lily because I got the chance to share my thoughts to my fellow Sienans. Being an Editor for this School Paper also added excitement to my College years. I really felt nostalgic as I was writing this article because I know this would be my last article. I would really miss writing for you guys.

And as I bid farewell to this paper with a pang of sadness inside, I also do know that this would again be another start of my journey in life and search for meaning.

Stop...Look and Listen

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 08:10:00 +0000

Sometimes, in our relentless effort to please other people, there comes a time that we’re already limiting our own happiness. We live up to others expectations knowing that what we’re projecting to other is not really us.

The world is a big theater where all of us are actors. We hide our true selves in a different mask. While in the front stage, we show to others that we’re strong but once we go to the back stage, we sit there, sulk in one corner, thinking how worn out we already are.

Sometimes, I wish that the world were not that complicated. How I wish life was simple like before. It’s very hard to show to others that I’m okay when I know I’m not. To smile while holding back the tears welling from my eyes. And to stand up when I’m all laid down on my feet.

If only I could retreat from my problems I would, but I know I can’t, they’re expecting a lot from me and they’re not used to seeing me like this. I have to wipe away my tears and hold my head up high even though my head’s screaming for a break. I’m all wounded and I don’t think if I'll ever be healed.

I want to cry and tell everybody that I want to give up…it’s enough. But how would I be able to show others that I’m also weak when it’s from me they get all their strengths from? They think I’m so tough and I never withdraw from anything. They think I’m problem free when in fact I’m not. I’m also human, I can feel pain, and like others, I also need some rest. Why can’t some people understand that I also get tired gratifying them. How I wish even just once in my life I’d do things without minding what other people might say. I’ll wake up, eat, go to school, go home, eat and sleep without people dictating me what I should do or act.

It’s so funny that we think of what other people will say to us when on the contrary, they won’t have anything to do with our own happiness later on. On one occasion, let us stop thinking others, don’t be too selfless. Look or search for the things that would make you happy and fully satisfied. Then listen not only to your brain but to your heart as well. The brain might give you best advice but who knows what you’ll get when you follow your heart even for a minute.

Not Another Love Article

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 08:00:00 +0000

“Love, love, love is such a beautiful thing…you’ll laugh, you’ll cry and then won’t remember a thing.”

A friend once wrote in his diary. That very line made me ponder of what really is love.

Love never ceases to inspire our minds whenever we write. Get a magazine, book or a newspaper and I assure you that you’ll find at least one article related to love. Almost all the poems being published is all about it, so many that sometimes it gets so boring, but being a Filipino and romantic by nature, we still do read them. Love is human nature.

So what really is love? Even people during the ancient times have tried to explain but seldom can they define it. Do you still remember the first time you wrote in a slum book? What did you write upon encountering the question “What is love?” Are you one of the people who wrote cheesy definitions like “Love is like a rosary that’s full of mystery”, “Love is blind” and the safest answer, “Love is God?” Hey, don’t chuckle, it may seem so corny but it’s the truth, right? I must confess that I often use the latter one. I don’t know why, maybe because it’s the simplest of all and its sounds very religious. Well, actually, it’s because I really don’t know what the term LOVE really means. Yes, I can just copy my friends definition or from a quotation, but I want something different, something that really came from my heart, my very own definition of LOVE. I’m not saying that the ones I’ve mentioned aren’t true, they are. It’s only that that we just write anything without really understanding what we are writing.

Love has a reason which reason itself does not know. Yes, love is like a rosary that’s full of mystery. It moves in a magical way where each of us can be an easy prey if we’re weak and vulnerable. It’s always a mystery why we get so attracted to a person so much even though he doesn’t even meet our standards. And maybe that’s where soul mate enters the picture. Serendipity. They say that there’s someone in this world that’s really meant for us, and you’ll know that he’s or she’s the one when there’s “MAGIC”.

Yes, love is blind. We are blinded by love that we tend to overlook a person’s bad side, because we believe that loving is accepting the person for who he is no matter what. We become blind that we drown ourselves to martyrdom. We allow ourselves to look stupid and forever be hurt, simply because we love the person so much that we can’t afford to lose him or her. You’re always willing to forgive regardless of the pain he or she has inflicted on you.

But love doesn’t only make us BLIND, it makes us DEAF and DUMB too. Deaf to other’s criticisms and to the dictates of our brain. Dumb because when we fall in love, more often than not, we lose our own identity that we hardly know ourselves anymore.

And yes, love is God. Simply because we’re all made out of God’s love for us and that’s what he wants us all to do. To love one another and make him the center of it.

You can never learn to love unless you experience pain. Very true. Because love is not all the time like those fairy tales that ends up happily ever after. Remember, it’s just a fantasy and not the reality.

The world is full of pretenders with a mask of a prince charming to deceive their princess. Most take love for granted and when they realized their own mistake, it’s already too late for them. It’s very rare to find true love, so once found, be sure not to let it slip away or you might regret it for as long as you live.

Now, after 20 years of waiting, I finally have my answer. Of all the things I’ve experienced, I had a taste of happiness, sadness, success and failures. Now I am ready to define what for me love is.

Love is when you never get tired of the person no matter how he’s getting into your nerves. You’re always willing to forgive and forget though you know that you might end up bruising yourself again. You’re always willing to understand no matter how unreasonable he is. Everybody believes that he’s a bad news but you still stick with him, knowing that no one sees him the way you do. You’re always willing to love him without expecting any in return and don’t keep a record of his mistakes. You’ll risk and sacrifice everything for him and you love him so much that it hurts already.

I know you might say that it’s not love, it’s already stupidity. But that’s my point here. The meaning of love differs from one person to another. You can never have the exact meaning like the others because no one can ever tell you if what you feel is already love, because it’s not them who feel it, it’s up to you to find it for yourself.

And loving, for me, is not limiting ones self by saying that you won’t give you 100% love to that person, because it is not loving, it’s installment. When you love, give your best. You might get hurt but it’s the fact of loving, you always do get hurt whether you give your 100% or even 50%. It’ll always be that way, there’s still a possibility of getting hurt, so what’s the sense of installment? At least in the end, you can proudly say that you’ve really experienced how to love and be loved wholeheartedly. Give your best shot so that you won’t regret anything in the end.

Are you a Yuppie or a Yuckie?

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 06:22:00 +0000

Sitting there in your chair waiting for your name to be called to receive your diploma, the scene of you inside your own office room, answering e-mails in your laptop and you walking along Makati towards your parked Black Jaguar, flashed in your mind. Then a tap from a friend’s shoulder zap you back to reality. All of a sudden, you began to get frantic thinking what lies ahead on your future? Would you be able to get a job right away or would you just add up on the thousands of bummer out there?
Would you be able to proudly say to everyone that “Hey World, I’m now a full-pledged Yuppie!” or… “Hey World, I’m now a full-pledged Yuckie!”?
Read on and get the lowdown that’ll help you distinguish if you’re really a Yuppie or a … Yuckie.

You’re a real Yuppie if:

· You’re walking along Makati wearing your best formal clothes.
· After office hours, you can be seen with your colleagues at a nearby Starbucks in your office.
· You earn at least 15,000 a month.
· You ride a cab on your way to work.
· You’re on the phone the whole day following up interviews.
· You’re stuck up in front of the computer typing the mountain-like file of the office.
· Your head almost burst out thinking of the piled up works that are needed to be done.

You’re a Yuckie if:

· You can be seen strolling on the mall sporting a ragged outfit.
· At the end of the day, you can be seen at a nearby sari-sari store chatting and laughing your heart out with your friends while feasting on an isaw (Chicken guts).
· You’re always waiting for the 15th to come so you can ask mom or dad for some dough.
· You ride an FX or Jeepney on your way to the mall. (talking about cash shortage).
· You’re on the phone the whole day killing time with your friends, gabbing about nonsense stuffs.
· You’re stuck up in front of the computer playing games or just hooked surfing on the net.
· Your head almost burst out thinking what you’re going to do for the rest of the day.

In the Limelight

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 06:06:00 +0000

Below is the feature article I made for Blush Magazine,our school project.I Interviewed one of my clique who was then the school's representative for Campus Diva. Sugar, thanks for the pix from Friendster...I owe you one. ;p

The recently held Search For Ms. Campus Diva last October 1, 2002 was such a blast. There were 24 schools who vied in the said contest and Blush was lucky enough to interview one of the winners for Ms. Campus Diva. The 3rd runner up gal from Siena College of Q.C.

Now, let’s get a little up close and personal with Phyllys.

Full Name: Phyllys C. Flores

Nickname: Sugar

Birthday: July 29, 1982

School: Siena College of Q.C

Blush: Since when did you started singing and who influenced you?

Sugar: I started singing when I was 4 years old. Almost all the members of our family know how to sing, especially my mom and my aunt. They always find time to hear me sing and make me participate in our family gatherings.

B: Have you undergone any workshop in singing?

S: Yes, at Yamaha. I think it was 4 years ago. My grandma decided to enroll me there after graduating from High school because she believes that with a professional instructor, I would be able to enhance more my singing ability.

B: So, you were finally chosen as the 3rd runner up for Campus Diva. Have you ever imagined yourself joining a prestigious contest like this?

S: Imagined? Yes, but in reality, no. Because I’ve already joined the Search for Campus Diva last year but I was not chosen. And this year, when I decided to join again, I didn’t expect to be the school’s representative, to be one of the finalists, then later bag the 3rd runner up.

B: How do you see yourself 10 years from now?

S: Successful in the field I have chosen and probably have my own family.

B: Message to all aspiring singers out there.

S: Sing from your heart. When rendering a song, be sure you’ve already memorized it with all your heart so that your actions will come out naturally.

Ang Whip Cream sa Mocha Cafreezio ko

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 17:46:00 +0000

“Bili tayo ng mocha cafreezio, masarap iyon…”

Busog na busog na ako pero pinilit mong ipatikim sakin ang pinagmamalaki mo na Mocha Cafreezio sa Allegro. Ewan ko ba, natuwa lang siguro ako sa hitsura kaya napilitan ako. Sa totoo lang, favorite ko parin ang Mocha Frappe sa Starbucks kaya
kahit mas mura ang Mocha Cafreezio na nilibre mo sakin, hindi ko parin iyon ipagpapalit.

Lumipas ang mga araw, sabi na nga ba at hindi ko naman iyon magugustuhan, di kagaya sa Frappe ng Starbucks, hinahanap-hanap ko dati. Pero bakit ganoon? Tuwing mapapadaan ako sa Allegro lahat yata ng kasama ko eh sinasabihan kong ilibre ako ng Mocha Cafreezio. Sa totoo lang, paborito ko ang whip cream nila. Weird na kung weird pero halos lahat ng nakakakilala sa akin ay alam na ayaw na ayaw kong hinahalo ang Frappe ko. Gusto ko hanggang maubos ko ang laman, buo pa rin ang Whip Cream. Sa Starbucks kasi natutunaw, sa Allegro, hindi, buo talaga. Ito talaga ang dahilan kung bakit all-time favorite ko na ang Mocha Cafreezio.

Pero siyempre, mas sumasarap ang pag-inom ko kapag kasama kita. Kadalasan tumatambay tayo sa baba para bumili nito at magkuwentuhan. Tuwing umaalis ka, pinipilit kitang pasalubungan mo ako ng Mocha Cafreezio. Minsan nga nainis ako sa iyo dahil bumili ka ng walang whip cream. Ang sabi mo naman wala na silang whip cream. “Sana hindi ka na lang bumili, alam mo naman na iyong whip cream lang ang gusto ko.” Ang sabi ko sa’yo. Oo na, mababaw na kung mababaw pero nagsasabi lang ako ng totoo. Pakiramdam ko kasi, wala ng kuwenta ang Mocha Cafreezio kapag walang whip cream.

Ngunit bakit ganoon? Hapon noon at umuulan, nasa baba tayo habang pinagmamasdan ang madilim na kalangitan at bawat patak ang ulan. Parang hindi na masarap ang Mocha Cafreezio na iniinom ko kahit may whip cream naman, nais ko sanang tikman ang iniinom mo, baka iyong sa akin lang ang may problema pero narealize ko depende lang siguro iyon sa umiinom.

Ilang araw na lang aalis ka na. Ilang araw na lang wala na akong makakasamang uminom ng Mocha Cafreezio at ilang araw na lang magiging mapakla na ang lasa nito.

Dumating ang araw ng pag-alis mo. Pinilit kong kayanin ang lungkot para sa iyo. Tuwing napapadaan ako sa Allegro napapangiti ako habang inaalala ang pagka adik ko sa Mocha Cafrezzio. “Matagal na pala akong hindi nakakatikim nito…” Pumasok ako at bumili ng paborito kong Mocha Cafreezio pero nadismaya ako dahil wala silang whip cream. Pero sige, bumili pa rin ako, baka bukas meron na. Kinabukasan tinungo ko ulit ang pinagbibilhan natin pero wala pa rin, bili pa rin ako. Bukas, maaga ako bibili para hindi maubusan. Ngunit ganoon pa rin. Araw-araw nilulunod ko sarili ko sa Mocha Cafreezio na walang whip cream. Nauumay na ako pero masaya ako dahil pakiramdam ko kasama pa rin kita.

Tuwing nagagawi ako sa Allegro, lagi kong sinisipat ang lagayan nila ng whip cream. Lagi na lang wala. Bakit kaya ganoon…mula ng nawala ka nawala na rin nag whip cream nila?

Alam mo bang walang kuwenta ang Mocha Cafreezio ko kapag walang whip cream, parang ang buhay ko, wala rin saysay ito kapag wala ka. Nakakatamad, nakakaumay, paulit-ulit lang ang buhay ko ngayong wala ka na sa tabi ko., alam mo namang ikaw lang ang kumukumpleto at mas nagpapasarap nito.Alam mo ba kung bakit? Kasi, parang ikaw ang whip cream sa Mocha Cafreezio ko.

TULDOK

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 17:42:00 +0000

Paano ba ako magsisimula...kung di lang dahil sa'yo, di ko ito gagawin...kilala mo naman ako pagdating sa pagsusulat… pagawa mo na lahat sa akin huwag lang ang sumulat…pero dahil special ka kaya heto nagpapakatrying hard ako. Sana mag enjoy ka sa pagbabasa.

Tinanong kita noon, kung maaalala mo pa. Sabi ko, “Ano bang gusto mo?”. Sumagot ka agad, “Gawan mo ko ng article.” Sabi ko sa sarili ko ang hirap naman. Paano ako susulat para sa katulad mong isang henyo sa pagsusulat. Baka laitin mo lang ang piece ko. Pero sanay na ako sa mga panlalait mo, actually sabi mo nga di mo naman ako nilalait, nagsasabi ka lang ng totoo. Tanggap ko na talagang pagdating sa pag express ng feeling ay mahina ako mapa oral o written man. Sanay naman akong sumulat, iyon nga lang pagsagot sa email sa office at sa daddy ko. Kung minsan nga pinapacheck ko pa sa’yo mga e mails ko para siguradong tama bago ko ipadala.

Alam mo ba habang ginagawa ko to ngayon kausap kita sa phone. Nagagalit ka kapag di ako sumasagot agad, di mo alam gumagawa na ako ng article para sa’yo. Tinuruan kita kung paano mag download sa Imesh kasi hinahanap mo iyong song ni Patti Austin na “Say You Love Me”. Nagalit ka pa kasi hindi natin pinanood iyong concert nila Martin noong February. Di ko kasi gusto si Martin pero kung alam ko lang noon na gusto mo si Patti Austin malamang di natin pinalampas iyon kahit ayoko kay Martin papanoorin natin iyon.

Bukas mag one year and one month na tayong magkakilala. Parang kelan lang, nagpapacute pa ko sa’yo. Pero alam ko kahit di ko na gawin iyon mapapansin mo parin ako kasi talagang cute na’ko, sa mga mata mo. Ang bilis ng panahon, gabi na naman. Ewan ko ba kung bakit tuwing gumagabi ay nalulungkot ako. Siguro dahil sa matatapos na naman ang isang araw at mababawasan na naman ng araw sa kalendaryo at lalapit na nag araw na kinatatakutan ko. Araw ng pag alis ko.

Putik! 11 days na lang pala. Akala ko 2 weks pa. Hindi ko maintindihan kung anong nararamdaman ko ngayon. Hindi ko mapigilan ang luha ko. Akala ko mahaba pa ang araw na makakasama kita. Habang lumalapit ang araw lalong bumibigat ang nararamdaman ko. Sabi ko na nga ba dapat din a lang ako tumingin sa kalendaryo para di ko nakita iyong araw.

Ano bang dapat nating gawin, tatawagan kita. Guto kitang makausap…

Kausap na kita, tinatanong mo ko kung bakit ako umiiyak sabi ko gabi na kasi. Di ka na uli nagtanong. Siguro alam mo na iyong dahilan. Di ka na uli nagtanong dahil alam mong lalo akong malulungkot. May pinarinig ka sa akin na kanta…iyong matagal ko ng hinahanap na kanta… "Just Fall In Love Again”. Galing mo naman nadownload mo na agad. Ayan, tumigil na luha ko, din a ko naiiyak. Sana lagi na lang kutang kasama o kahit kausap lang. Kasi nakakalimutan ko iyong problema ko. Ngayon di ko alam kung paano tayo kapag dumating na iyong araw na iyon. Paano ako bukas, pag dumating na naman ang gabi. Ganito na naman ako. Ganito na naman mararamdaman ko.

Bakit dati, noong mga month ng May, June, July 2004 gusto kong bumilis ang araw. Dahil gusto ko August na para doon kita tatanungin kung ready ka na. Maraming beses kita tinanong pero maraming beses mo rin akong di sinagot. Wrong timing ako lagi, dahil special date na iyon sa’yo. Pero dumating ang August 8, di kita tinanong dahil na feel ko na iyon ang gusto mong date para sa’tin. Tiniis ko iyong araw na iyon na di kita tanungin baka sakaling ikaw naman ang magtanong sa’kin. Pero di mo ko tinanong. August 9, madaling araw, pagkatapos nating manood ng presentation mong ginawa para sa akin at habang nagsasaya ang mga anghel sa langit habang pinapanood tayo, tinanaong kita. Sagot mo sa’kin. “O sige…”. Sa wakes, nagkantahan ang mga anghel (iyong mga nanonood din sa’tin, sila rin) dahil sa narinig nilang sinagot mo iyong tanong ko kaya August 8, tayo na. Sabi ko na nga ba iyong ang date na gusto mo, pero sa totoo lang iyon rin ang gusto ko.

Masarap pala ang magsulat, isa rin itong way para mabawasan iyong bigat na nararamdaman ko. Siguro ngayon mapapadalas ba itong pagsulat ko. Sabi mi nga, “Magsulat ka kahit ano!”. Heto na napasulat mo na ako. Nagawa ko para sa’yo. Sana kahit papaano natuwa ka, ok lang na laitin mo ako. Wala mang saysay mga pinagsasabi ko. Basta importante nakapgsulat na ako. At nagawa ko ito dahil sa’yo.

Nung una nahirapan akong simulan itong article na ‘to, di ko alam mas mahirap palang gumawa ng ending. Para palang article ang isang relasyon. Mahirap simulan pero mas mahirap tapusin. Lalo na kung iyong writer marami pang gusting isulat at ikuwento, pero di alam kung paano. Parang iyong dalawang taong nagmamahalan at marami pang pangarap at planong gawin pero limutado na ang oras at panahon. Paano? Anon g gagawin? Hmmm…puwede naman dib a, puwede naming di lagyan ng ending. Kaya nga merong Never Ending Stories, iyong iba may Part 2, Part 3, Saga, iyong iba naman To be continued…Parang iyong satin ngayon…hangga’t maaari, hangga’t kaya nating magtiss. Hangga’t di pa natin na tatry. Puwedeng to be continued. Puwede naming di lagyan ng tuldok. Di wag nating lagyan. Di wag kong lagyan

By Liz Reyes
June 22,2005 9:38 PM

The Blue Rose

noreply@blogger.com (Toni) — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 17:37:00 +0000

“I can’t, you’re my friend’s ex.”

These were the words I usually tell you before just to avoid the question that you keep on asking me.

I’ve been through a lot and I don’t think I am ready yet to be on the hot seat again and to accumulate all my friend’s harsh words against me.

I can say that maybe I was really cursed. Ever since I fell in love, there’s always a hindrance and I can never be completely happy because on the back of my mind I know that someone’s also weeping behind my happiness.

Now here you are again, asking the same question and line that’s so familiar to me. I really don’t know, maybe I was really stubborn, I never did learn through all my experiences. When will I ever learn that there’s really “KARMA”? Well, enough of my taking risks. Before I am really proud of that principle of mine, but now… I don’t even know if I have to feel good for taking risks or what.

The first time I gave you a White Rose, you were so surprised and don’t know what to say. Of course we’re still friends that time but that doesn’t really mean anything to me. After all, we’re just friends right?

Christmas was just around the corner that time. We were out with your friends. While dining out, you saw a girl selling flowers and you immediately bought me one. A Yellow Rose. It’s one of my favorite, though Blue’s still the best for me. I also told you that if ever I am to give a Blue Rose to someone, it means that I really love that person so much.

So many seasons have passed but never your love for me. Your patience, love and thoughtfulness made me feel so special, especially when we’re together. There were lots of times that I tried to let go of you but I just can’t seem to. Maybe because…I’m starting to fall for you … I feel that life won’t be the same again without you.

There was never a day that we don’t see each other and that we fail to let each other know that she is special. I even remember that night, while we were hanging out in the pool, when I cried to you while asking you not to leave me because I can’t make it. You promised that you won’t. I hope you still remember.

Few months after, the same old things that we used to do suddenly changed. Maybe because we’re just both busy or for any other reason, and for that, I don’t know. We usually have petty quarrels that can also be resolved in a day or two, but something really changed. I can feel it.

28, your favorite number which I started abhorring now. I don’t know if my love isn’t enough for you, if you already find the comfort of hearing the word “I love you” from someone, or I’m just getting too demanding.

I swear to God that I am not demanding. I know I am not so sweet lately but is that a reason enough for you to dump me?

I cried so hard upon learning that you wanted to be free. “How about me, my feelings?” I can’t think of any thing to do anymore, I’ve even come to a point of thinking of hurting myself. You’re the only person whom I beg to at least talk to me. Pathetic as it may seem, it’s true. I don’t do anything but cry. When I wake up I cry, before I sleep, I still cry. My eyes are all swollen and black because I also lack sleep, but what the heck! I love you and I think I can never live another day knowing you already fell out of love.

Whenever I stay home, I can’t still forget you because my mom does nothing but to talk about you. I wanted to tell her to stop mentioning your name but I can’t. She doesn’t know anything. Even if I go out, I still think of you and all the places we’ve been and all the things we used to do. I don’t know if you’ve cast a love spell on me for loving you this much but whatever it is, I don’t care anymore.

I’ve been dying to be mean towards you, to show that I’m alright even if I’m not, to show you that I can find a better one than you. Someone who will love me more than you did. Someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. But sad to say, I’m a failure.

My friends say that I’m so stupid to run after you begging for love. That I would be able to stumble on someone better than you. But my mind was still closed.

One night, my mind has generated the most brilliant yet pathetic idea. I don’t know if it would work but I don’t care anymore, all I know was that I desperately want you back. I might get hurt again but I’ll take the risk. (Sigh) Risk again…

The next day I searched all over to find the perfect surprise for you. I have also written a novel-long letter for you. You promised to drop by in our house at around 7 to 8 in the evening to pick up my gift. I wait, wait and wait. I’m starting to worry if what happened. I tried calling you but your cell phone was off, I even called in your house but they told me you’re not home yet. I really cried. A feeling of self-pity swept over me. Maybe it isn’t a nice idea after all. 9:00 p.m., I called you up and found out you’re already home. You told me sorry because you weren’t able to drop by. I know, it’s obvious.

I told you that I’ll go to your house to give that surprise and before you can even ask I question I already hanged up. I rode a cab on the way to your house, catching my breath. My parents didn’t know I went out.

It’s more than a week since I saw you, there you were wearing your blue shirt. If I’m not mistaken, that was also your shirt when we last saw each other. I walked slowly towards you while holding my present. You look alright compared to me. Nothing changed with your appearance, while here I am, all wasted.

When I reached your gate, I gradually handed you my surprise while holding back the tears welling from my eyes. It’s a single Blue Rose. Your reaction was the same when I first gave you a White Rose. Speechless and quiet. I can tell you’re hesitant to get it. “What’s this for?” you asked quite astonished. “A Rose, for you” I replied sounding as if I’m going to break down any time.

You invited me inside, and though it wasn’t my plan to get inside, my heart keeps pulling me inside. I wanted to stay there forever just to be with you. We talked and shared stories. I tried to act casual but maybe I’m not a good actress at all. I burst out in tears but I can tell that you don’t want me doing that so I stopped.

We’re watching TV but I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. Telling myself how much I miss your face, your smiles, and your stares. But sad to say, all would only remain as memories from the past. Before I go I asked for just one favor and that is to hug you. You agreed and right then and there I broke again into tears. You tried to comfort me while saying that “Don’t worry, I’m the highest in Chemistry, I didn’t failed.” You still know how to make me laugh. You know that all I want is for you to excel in your class.

I left your house with a pang of sadness and regrets. How I wish I could turn back the hands of time. Then I should’ve not questioned you about the text message. Then I should’ve been sweeter to you. But all would only remain as a wishful thinking.

I ought to ask you that night if I can court you like what you did before, but I guess I should stop making risk now. After all, everything turned out to be a disaster. Well, at least I’ve been happy even for a couple of months.

I hope that would be the last time you’ll see me cry. Together with the Blue Rose, were all the memories we’ve shared together. The joys and pains we have shared. I’ll try to let go but I won’t promise you that it will be soon. I promise you won’t see me crying, but I won’t assure you I won’t cry for you anymore. But this I promise you, like what I told you before, I’ll love you as long as you’re giving me the reason to.

And by the way, do you still remember the symbolism I gave for the Blue Rose?