Home on the Range

Overheard over ramen

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:48:00 +0000

Ta-da! You thought this blog was out to pasture, didn't you?! Thought I'd dust off the keyboard and see if anyone still checks it.

Sitting here watching Eli dare Liam to slurp a ramen noodle up his nose. No, I didn't stop him. What can it hurt? The two of them got up to leave, and Nathan, who "hates" Liam was still laughing.

Me: Liam's funny, huh?
Nathan: [while laughing] YEAH!
Me: Aren't you glad he's in our family?
Nathan: [no longer laughing] No.

Ding dong the drugs are here

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 01:32:00 +0000

Things my kids said today:

Liam [upon hearing the doorbell ring]: "Mommy, your medicine is here!"
(Jenny just refilled all her meds and received two or three visits by the doorbell-ringing UPS guy this week. I suppose he thinks now everytime the doorbell rings it means mommy's drugs are here.)

Eli [in the car talking telling us that he got an S+ (the 21st century equivalent of an A+) on his spelling test]: "I don't know what S+ means, but I think it's good."

What's your name again?

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 04:19:00 +0000

Listen very closely to me singing (I'm the one singing in a high pitch like a woman) and keep in mind it's Nathan's birthday. I obviously don't know my children's names as well as I should. But the fact that we are a harmonious family cannot be disputed. Move over, Osmonds!

Sorry Nathan. His wish was to always be five, and to never turn into a grown up. I think deep down he wished his dad would remember his name and that his mom would try out for the cheerleading squad - what's up with the "Go Nathan, Go Nathan, Yeah!" stuff?

The world's best husband

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 02:48:00 +0000

This post is primarily to show my brother-in-law Tom why my wife (his wife's sister) thinks I'm the perfect husband. My wife went out visit teaching tonight. I was left with the chillin's. I hurried to put them to bed so I could watch TV. As I changed the channels, I noticed that PBS was playing the Jane Austen film Persuasion. The third sister in the family had gotten Jenny a Jane Austen book (it's so big I think we could use it as a coffee table), and I knew Jenny would like to watch the program. So I (reluctantly) put in a tape and hit RECORD. This prevented me from watching anything else. And that's why I'm the world's best husband.

And Tom, I'll take the little tab thingy off the tape so we can't record over it. That way, next time we're together you can watch it, er, I mean ask Emily if it's something she wants to watch while you're out huntin' muskrats in your socks.

UPDATE: so Jenny got home, and I was so excited to see her reaction. This was it: "oh, I can get those on DVD at the library." I think in her heart, though, she is still excited at the thought of Tom maybe watching it someday.

laser tag

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 04:56:00 +0000

We took the youth to play laser tag tonight and the Bishop told us we should bring the boys along. They had a blast, especially Special Agent Eli who, unfortunately, didn't get in the picture. Here's Nathan and Liam all geared up and ready to go. Nathan held his own, as well.

Here's a picture of the youth we took. My favorite part of the picture is the Young Women's President in the lower left. Poor Norma, I think she was up past her bedtime.

It's the thought that counts

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 18:36:00 +0000

Jenny and I in our not-yet-ending search for financial independence from student-loan debt wish every Christmas that we could afford to buy each other a boatload of gifts, things we don't really need but would be wicked cool to have. This Christmas we started a new tradition. We're calling it the "It's the thought that counts Christmas exchange."

Here's how it works, the sky's the limit. We "buy" each other whatever we want regardless of the cost. Anything and everything we think the other one would like or wouldn't buy themself. Then we wrap it up and put it under the tree for Christmas Day. We had so much fun "shopping" and even more fun watching each other's faces this morning as we unwrapped our gifts. This way we get all the satisfaction that comes with giving and making the other's day but without the cost.

This is what Jenny got me this year:

Fantasy Football for Dummies: this is the topic of most male conversations at work which means I end up swapping cleaning tips with the ladies because I have no idea what Fantasy Football is. I was invited to join a while back, but I didn't know what it was.

Destination trip to the 2008 Tokyo Marathon: This is on my list of marathons to run someday, and Jenny thought '08 should be the year.

and finally,

wait for it....

A 7-night Exotic Eastern Caribbean cruise on the John Tesh Radio Show Cruise! Jenny listens to John Tesh on the radio at work and I always make fun. I think they listen because it's safe that they're not going to hear something nasty unlike other radio shows at night. If she knows what's good for her, she'll bring me one of those leash things people put on their kids at airports because after a couple hours at sea with John Tesh, I may be tempted to jump overboard.

And now for what I "bought" her.

- A new roof and a bathroom remodel

- A KU hoodie (was actually going to get her one for her birthday, but couldn't find the kind she wanted

- A haircut and spa treatment. And not at Great Clips, either.

- A trip for two to NYC for New Year's Eve complete with a cruise of the Hudson and accomodations at the Hilton Time Square

- A $4,000 camcorder since ours is broken, and what's $4,000 when it's a fake gift anyway?

I can't wait to see what she fake gives me for President's Day!!!!

Santa's on His Way

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 03:51:00 +0000

Eli said he felt left out because we'd posted a video of Nathan "brushing" his teeth and one of Liam shaking his booty, but none of him. So he auditioned a cast and produced a re-creation of Santa's flight in painstaking detail. So without further ado, here is "Santa's on His Way" by Eli.

Merry Christmas!

Sunday art workshop

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 23:57:00 +0000

I stayed home from church today due to a bout of flu (head and stomach) and the kids stayed home with me. Eli was asking if he could do some drawings, so I pulled out one of my "pieces" from high school for him to look at. See below.

That was mine. Below is Eli's.

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:50:00 +0000

Jenny and I have been talking about how obnoxious it has gotten that people say everything BUT Merry Christmas anymore. People are so paranoid to mention anything relating to Christ for fear of either offending someone or being criticized. I've had enough of the Season's Greetings and Happy Holidays, and feeling like I'm walking on eggshells of political correctness. So from now on, if I'm going to greet someone, I'm going to acknowledge what it is I believe.

Here are two examples of people taking a stand that really inspired me today.

1. Boot shop in Tennessee (I tried to find this on YouTube to embed, but all I could get was this link - hope it stays up on the site long-term). They offer a discount for customers that say Merry Christmas. I'm not crazy about the idea of the discount itself, but I appreciate the message they're trying to send.
http://www.kmbc.com/video/14872149/index.html?taf=kc1

2. Mike Huckabee campaign ad. I'm leaning toward Mitt Romney based not on religion, but on his record in education, business, and leadership. However, I was very excited when I saw this ad from Huckabee. Talk about standing for what you believe in without fear. Pretty bold in the midst of a presidential campaign, but high-five to him for doing it.

So Merry CHRISTmas to everyone!

Welcome, Welcome, Sabbath Morning

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 16:02:00 +0000

Saturday, 9:47 pm: the Bishop calls saying that church is cancelled because of the ice storm.

Sunday, 8:04 am: the monsters awake and come asking if there's church today because they just looked outside and it looks slippery

Sunday, 8:23 am: the phone starts ringing because the phone tree has kicked into full gear. Rumor has it that the singles ward doesn't use a phone tree, but rather everyone texts one another. Kids and their technology.

Sunday, 9:12 am: find that Liam busted into the candy meant for some Christmas projects today and needs to be bathed because the sugar has already liquefied and been rubbed into his hair.

Sunday, 9:20 am: conditions are deteriorating rapidly. The monsters have already exhausted every imaginary game they know and have started wrestling. I've discovered we can watch Music and the Spoken Word live because of our high-speed internet when it comes on in an hour. In the meantime, I've tuned into BYU streaming radio.

Sunday, 9:31 am: as "Love at Home" plays, Nathan is wailing because Eli pushed him down, Liam just threw a container of Jenny's sewing pins up in the air and the floor is now like downtown Baghdad with it's land mines, and I'm enjoying the angelic voices coming from my new Dell Dimension PC, oblivious to my surroundings.

"while visions of Spiderman danced in their heads"

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 04:42:00 +0000

Remind me again why we spent money for bunkbeds...

[didn't get the title of the post? look at what's "floating" on the wall above Nathan's head.]

Minty fresh

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 01:41:00 +0000

He'd better get a good report when he goes to the dentist next week.

This would also explain why his chin always smells so minty fresh.

Christmas OrNaments

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 03:16:00 +0000

Maria tagged me on her post about Christmas ornaments. So, I picked three ornaments that have meaning for me. I couldn't figure out how to take decent pictures of them on the Christmas tree, so I just hung them on a decorative tree, and you can see the real tree in the background. And no, I didn't fat-finger the N key in the title; I purposely typed the N in caps to make a point. Add to my list of linguistic pet peeves (example - I hate it when people replace C's with K's to be cute) it really bugs me when I hear orDaments instead of orNaments. I don't mean to be a grinch, just say it right already.

So on to the orNaments. From left to right:
- Wreath made out of dough. This was a gift from my Kindergarten teacher for Christmas 1980.
- Japanese Nut Monkey. I don't know what else to call it. It's a monkey made out of some kind of lacquered nut and has a bell in it. I got it from someone in Japan on my mission.
- My half-marathon medal. Jenny hung my one race medal and all of the boys' fun run medals on the tree this year. I think it's a cool idea. I wanted to put my 1st place finishers plaque from the Chief Joseph Run on the the top instead of that star, but she wouldn't hear of it.

In addition to the ornaments, I've also posted a picture of me from the time period of each ornament.

This is me and my little brother Josh at my grandma Wright's house in 1980. It was the tradition at Christmas that all the kids would dress up and play Santa, giving the adults presents if we'd heard they were good that year. As the oldest grandchild, I got to be the real Santa and all the other runts were allowed to wear cotton-ball beards, but I ran the show. I see a lot of my oldest-child tendencies in Eli. I'm not sure what I had in the paper bag, but it wasn't the Glenn Miller Carnegie Hall Concert LP you see in the rack on the left in the back. I wonder when grandpa graduated to 8 Tracks, because that's what I remember them always listening to, and it was usually the Tijuana Brass band 8 Track.

This is me on my mission in Japan. I still can't figure out why more people wouldn't answer the door or talk to me on the train. I went to great lengths to be one of them.

This is me with my half-mary medal. I hope to get many more in the years to come. I'm also thinking about sewing all of my race bibs together to make a tree skirt. If I can't have the top of the tree, maybe she'll let me have the bottom.

Maria tagged just about everyone in the family except for David (I know, I know, but I'll be the one to tag him. We miss you Dave and Mel - please post for Christmas). I don't know who Jenny'll tag, so I'm just going to tag Heather Apples, GR (although he doesn't have a blog, he's got a wicked cool nutcracker collection that I'm sure K8 would let him post his favorites on her blog), and finally, a special challenge to any lurkers with blogs - I've given you so much "quality" over the years, don't you think it's time to give me something in return? Just leave a link to your ornaments post on the comments page so I know who you are. If you do, I'll send you a vintage cotton ball from 1980. I can't guarantee that all of them will be the from mustache portion that have snot on them, though. Those are first come, first serve.

The fabulification of Topher

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 00:13:00 +0000

Big news on the Range. I'm going to Vegas, baby. There's so much to do, and only 13 weeks to do it all. I'm working on a customer appreciation event for work, so I'll have to be there for five days. The sign says welcome to "Fabulous" Las Vegas, so I've got to start working on my fabulousness.

I've only been to Vegas once, and that was just a quick overnight stay. All I really remember was the buffet (mmmmmm good), Emily (who was like 10, or maybe in high school) asking the lead for his autograph after seeing a show at the MGM Grand, me and my pregnant wife walking down the strip so I could say I took her to Paris, and going into a grocery store the next morning for some Pop Tarts and being amazed at all the people sitting at the slot machines near the check-out at 7 am.

First item: cultural anthropology study. In order to better understand my new home (this is a five-day trip, after all), I'll need to learn more about the people and their curious customs. I plan to do this by watching every movie made about or in Las Vegas. I'll start with Honeymoon in Vegas, move on to Sister Act, followed by Oceans Eleven (did I miss the first 10?), and finish off with Vegas Vacation, because nothing says true-to-life than a Chevy Chase movie.

Second: wardrobe. The picture says it all. Except for what it doesn't say. I'm wondering if the hat is too much. Maybe I could grow a wicked mullet between then and now (considering it's a NASCAR event I'm planning...did you read about my last NASCAR event?). But then again, I only have 13 weeks.

Third: vocabulary. There are so many words to master and incorporate into my lexicon. "Luck", "Hold", "Crimp", etc. No, Mama K, I won't be gambling, but I've got to know what people are talking about.

Fourth: travel. It's been two years since I've been on a plane. Last time I flew, I was selected along with an 74-year old Mennonite grandmother as the security threats on our flight. Jenny and the three boys had gone through security ahead of me, leaving me with the camera bag, a suitcase and two car seats. After having various regions of my person searched and wanded (and the guy didn't even buy me dinner), my bags were emptied and then told I needed to hurry and re-pack them...the plane was leaving. I need to read up on the new regulations as I'm sure I'll get singled out again, and I want to be ready. There are only 13 weeks left, so I need to get crackin'.

So, if I've missed anything, please hurry and tell me.

This house is ours

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 04:01:00 +0000

Ever seen the Nicole Kidman movie "The Others"? It's about a house that's haunted, and one of her lines is "This house is ours!" in hopes of driving out the ghosts. My wife's going to kill me for blogging about this, but I had a "This house is ours" moment this week. For about three weeks, there's been an unwanted guest in our house. At first I didn't believe her, but afterall, she was right when it came to our last houseguest. This time, instead of a chipmunk, it was a mouse. I'd had enough of thinking that stupid thing was in my house, but the couple of traps I'd set last week hadn't produced any results. I went and bought several more and placed them every place I thought he'd possibly be. I even told Jenny that the thought had crossed my mind to borrow a cat from someone. I hate cats almost as much as I hate having rodents anywhere near my house.

Finally, Sunday night, I GOT HIM! THIS HOUSE IS OURS! He'd gotten stuck on one of the glue traps, and he was freaking out. He was breathing hard, and his eyes were filled with fear. Then, I felt something. He was...kind of cute. What have I done? He really was adorable, and I had done this to him. I quickly disposed of him. But for the rest of the night, I felt really bad. Then the boys asked if I would read them a Christmas book. They picked out Merry Christmas, Big Hungry Bear. It's a story about an adorable little mouse who, from the kindness of his heart, decided to share his Christmas with a big hungry bear. Great, kids, as if I didn't feel bad enough already.

In other mice news, we got a new computer...with a cordless Bluetooth mouse. Yipee! Now if I see another mouse, I can chuck the other mouse at it from across the room.

UPDATE: "he" was I think a "she". The reason I think this is that I checked the traps again last night, and I got another one. This one was dead, looked as if it was taking a nap. Because of that, I didn't feel as bad as I did when I found the live one. So I think the first one was maybe the mom because she was facing the area under the stairs. The one last night, the much smaller one, I think was a baby who went looking for mom who said she was running out for some take-out, and never came back. Hopefully this is the end of them, but just in case there are some out-of-town guests who were over for the holidays, the traps are still out and I'll get every last stinkin' one of them.

If you were thinking of coming over anytime soon, and are now reconsidering, thinking that we're gross slobs who live in a rodent-infested dump, that's totally understandable. We don't mind if you want to cancel. You can just send us the cash you were planning on spending to come see us. Depending on who you are, we might enjoy that more.

Attention ladies - we love you but this has to stop

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 23:22:00 +0000

I know many of my readers are women. I know what kind of chocolate you like. I know your shoe sizes. I'm in marketing; you should know that I analyze my blog stats on a very regular basis. You should also know that I'm going to call you out because I know what you've done. And, painfully, I'm sure your husbands are tired of it. We men have been quiet long enough, and now it's time for you, oh fairer of the sexes, to face the music.

That's right, we're not going to take it any more. Ever since we learned how to control our bladders at the age of two or three, or later in some cases, women have harped on us to lift the lid. You've trained us to change our underwear on a daily, in most cases, basis. You've trained us to use coasters for our drinks. Now it's your turn to get schooled.

I'm talking about how you treat our bbq grills. Obviously your fathers never trained you the way our mothers trained us to keep the toilets sparkling clean [notice I said they "trained" us; that doesn't mean we do it]. Our grills are to us like clean toilet seats are to you. We don't mind you using our grills, especially when it involves food (not that I can think of any other uses). Thank you for feeding us, really. But, you've got to learn how to take care of our grills. We should not open the grill next time we feel like throwing on some burgers or dogs to find crusty, greasy, ant-covered residue. You know those grill brushes? They're meant to be used, and meant to be used immediately after removing the food from the grill. That way there's nothing left behind. Once you've scrubbed the grill clean, it needs to be sprayed down with cooking spray to prevent
rust. Oh, and one other thing, please turn off the gas when you're done. My darling learned that the hard way when I went to grill the next time and found the dials turned on high and the tank empty.

We'll make you a deal. We'll keep your toilet seats up [but you can't blame us if you forget to put them back down] and our underwear changed regularly [or daily depending on your requirements] if you'll scrub down the grill when you're done making dinner. It's all we have; it's all we ask.

For more information on grill maintenance, please refer to this tutorial. It was written by a man, a man with a pony tail, but still a man.

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:09:00 +0000

I was tagged by Emily to write seven interesting things about myself.

1. There were 32 people in my graduating class. It was the largest class ever to graduate from my high school. I was like #17, GPA-wise, which is ironic because that was also my score on the ACT when I re-took it hoping to improve my first score of 23. So technically, I got dumber the more I tried. But I don’t consider myself dumb. Other people might.

2. I was the president of my 4-H club. However, I did not live on a farm. I was a “city kid”. My city had 900 people and is actually considered a village on the state records. My things in 4-H were photography, drawing, and clothing (we had to demonstrate how to put together an outfit and then model it at the county fair – and yes, there were lots of other guys who did clothing, too. They were mostly the “city kids”, though.)

3. I really like watching documentaries. One of my favorite documentaries is My Date With Drew because I like Drew Barrymore; another favorite is Country Boys. When I meant to record the recent NOVA documentary Marathon Challenge, I accidentally set the VCR for the wrong time and recorded The Undertaking instead. It’s a documentary about funeral directors and the funeral business. Very interesting. See point #4 below.

4. I considered becoming a funeral director at one time. I have sort-of a morbid curiosity (who doesn’t?) and I’m a pretty compassionate person. I saw the funeral profession as one where a compassionate person would do well attending to the needs of the living who were in mourning. I wouldn’t have passed chemistry, though, and I don’t know how to do make-up (it wasn’t offered in 4-H), so I don’t think I would have made the cut.

5. My great-great aunt’s favorite story to tell me was that we have an ancestor who signed the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution named Robert Morris. What I don’t think she ever knew about Robert Morris is that he died in debtor’s prison. Oh, and what’s even more interesting is I’m married to a woman who claims to be related to Winston Churchill.

6. On my mission in Japan, I averaged one bike wreck a month for the 22 months I lived there. I was only seriously injured once.

7. I have 11 toes.

Ok, so I really only have 10 toes, but I couldn’t think of anything interesting for #7. I am, after all, trying to work here, you know.

Happy Halloween, and 150th Post

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:50:00 +0000

Just realized this is my 150th post. They've been more infrequent lately since I've spent more time posting on my other blog. Anyway, Jenny and I are also dressing up tonight. I'm going as Frankenstein, but for the past two days, Nathan has been calling it Franklinstein. It's a thought for next year. How funny would that be? I could carry a kite. Here's a little rendition of what it might look like.

Rockies vs. Red Sox

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 16:05:00 +0000

Anyone who knows me is, I'm quite sure, spitting milk out their nose right now (or whatever beverage they may be drinking at the moment) to read that I even have a clue as to who's playing in the World Series.

Come on, give me SOME credit. I do listen to the news on the way into work so I at least know what the scores are. Once I get to work, I pretend to know what I'm talking about when I say, "Wow, [team A] really showed [team B] what they're made of last night! Double overtime, even."

Well, this isn't about baseball, really. It's more about free tacos! Do I have your attention? Taco Bell is promising a free taco to everyone in America if a base is successfully stolen during the World Series. Check this site to read more. I may even watch an inning or two if there's a chance I can get a free taco.

Half-Marathon

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 22:24:00 +0000

Ran in my first Half-Marathon today. Here's the story.

Makes a great gift for that someone special

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 12:30:00 +0000

Saturday morning, 6:27 AM: Nathan comes tiptoeing into our bedroom on the one Saturday morning we thought we could sleep in just a tad.

He leans into his mother and in his loud "whisper" says, "Hey Mom, I know what we should get Dad for his birthday (which is just around the corner, just 11 months away)."

"What?"

"A Jack LaLanne Power Juicer"

"That's nice Nathan, now go watch cartoons."

Apparently the infomercial just prior to the start of Saturday morning cartoons that day was for none other than this... And what dad wouldn't love one?

Mullets and Race Cars

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 14:53:00 +0000

Thank goodness last week is over. I was busy working on a large customer event for work which required me to be up to my eyeballs in NASCAR. I managed to break away long enough to go down to the garage and pit area for a tour. Here I am next to the boys’ favorite car, the #43 Cheerios car. It’s their favorite because it’s the only NASCAR hotwheel they have (it was free in a box of….Cheerios). I don’t know if they realized it is a real car, so I got someone to take my picture by it. They wanted me to see if I could find the #95 Lightning McQueen car, but since it’s a cartoon, there’s no such thing in real life. Unfortunately, I had to miss the Primary program at church, and miss church altogether, because the race covers the entire weekend with the biggest event being on Sunday. Jenny and I both explained to them the only reason I was there is that it was work, and I had to be there to do my job. In addition to seeing the cars, I also saw more mullets in one location than I've ever seen before. Yeehaw for redneck sporting events!

I took yesterday off to recoup (got in two naps). We then took the boys to a park and grilled hotdogs for FHE. Not much else is up other than getting ready for Pop and Momma K’s visit next week.

Ad me to your list of inactive bloggers...temporarily

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 03:48:00 +0000

Contrary to what you might be thinking, I haven't been taking blogging lessons from some relatives (hi Tom, 'sup?). I've just been busy, and that's why I haven't been blogging. Work has been crazy the past several weeks, and isn't going to let up until September is over.

I did have time to go to a dinner theatre event last week. I was the guest at a vendor's customer appreciation event where they hosted their customers (of which I am one) for lunch at a local theatre. The show was pretty funny (called "Church Basement Ladies") and starred William Christopher who played the priest in M.A.S.H. One co-worker had to leave after lunch, and missed the show and dessert. I asked the waitress if I could possibly get a dessert to go to take back to the office (since the dessert was free, paid for by the vendor), I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. When she asked what dessert the co-worker wanted, I suddenly couldn't remember, so she brought all six desserts from the dessert menu! At $6.99 a piece, my jaw dropped. Oh well, I wasn't picking up the tab, and it earned me MAJOR bonus points.

Anyway, gotta run.

Overheard in a movie theater

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 17:01:00 +0000

Last night, my beautiful wife and I were able to go on a date. She wanted to see a movie. It came down to two choices: Bourne Ultimatum or Becoming Jane. Hmmm, let me think about it for a minute. Which would I rather see. Gosh, such a hard choice for a guy. So, of course she got her way and we went to see Becoming Jane at The Rio, a restored art deco theater with one, yes one, screen.

Walked up to the ticket window, which is on the outside of the building, right on the sidewalk. No microphones built into the window or anything. I look at the menu board and say "two for Becoming Jane, please" in a hushed tone so others standing nearby wouldn't hear that I was going to that movie. Jenny blew my cover when she blurted out "they only have ONE MOVIE here! You don't have to tell him which movie you're going to. All these people are here to see that movie."

We got seated plenty early, and the best part was that two "mature" women sat behind us. Here are some snippits of their conversation:

"She just had a baby, but I can't remember what his name is. It's a very strange name, though. I just don't know how she came up with it. Oh, that's right. His name is Davis. Isn't that odd?"

"Did you get your colonoscopy scheduled yet?"

"I had my mamogram the other day. I just don't enjoy those."

I wanted to ask if they've gotten their hearing test scheduled yet, because it was obvious by the volume with which they spoke that that, too, is going bad.

Although nothing blew up in the movie, and there were not car chases, it was [this is where I admit the truth] a good movie. Yes, I do enjoy period chick flicks.

POSTNOTE: I just read Jenny's post. I didn't know she'd already blogged basically the same stuff. At least we're on the same page, and you know I wasn't making up the colonoscopy/mammogram thing.

I'm one of the guys

noreply@blogger.com (Topher) — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 20:26:00 +0000

Remember as a kid when you saw the cool kids huddling and knew they were planning something that was going to be so rad, and how much you wanted to be a part of it, whatever "it" was? I got invited to be part of "it" yesterday by some of the "cool" guys at work.

I got an email inviting me to join/play/something in the Fantasy Football League. It starts TONIGHT at 9:45. Yes, they think I'm tight enough to play or whatever. I was so excited. Then I realized, I don't know what the heck Fantasy Football is. I'm pretty sure I don't even care. But the fact remains, I got invited.