Tosh Story

Rihanna's New Tattoo

2012-09-10T10:55:00.001-07:00

Rihanna debuted her new tattoo on twitter, a Godess Isis under her boobs with her long wings spread. The singer revealed it is a tribute to her late Grandmother. "Goddess Isis - Complete woman - model for future generations", she wrote. We get it, RiRi...

Little does she know that 40 years from now, Goddess Isis wings will by long closed...

Resurrection

2012-09-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

If this is happening I swear I'm back from the dead...And, yes Ryan, I want to put a ring on it, now that you're drawing my attention to it! For all you people that ripped the front cover of Fifty Shades of Grey and replaced it for Dostoyevky's Crime and Punishment (so you could still sin at work and look intellectual ), for all the kindles that are "dead" due to multiple orgasms, I say go for it!

3 ... 2 ...1

2012-09-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

...and this was all it took to assure "two and a half men" would make it without Charlie Sheen

2011-09-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

The debut of "Two and a half men" post Charlie Sheen was doomed, according to Sheen, but Ashton's naked ass was all it took to:

first: annihilate any chance of John Cryer ever being hot
second: have 27.7 million viewers on the first episode

That simple...

Well done, Ashton Kutcher. I'm impressed, even if you're doing the same kind of "dude" over and over again. I would have been more impressed but the pixelated image on my tv didn't let me...

This dress could have made it to the Emmy's Best red carpet dresses...

2011-09-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

... but this happened. And suddenly I'm scared to look at it.

I know, I know. I'm obsessed with this woman! Look at all the posts I have of this creature! I can't help myself!

Paz de la Huerta managed to stand up between John Voight and Chris North. I'm looking at this and almost waiting for a lizard tongue coming out of her mouth to suck Voight's drink....

Voight seems scared, North seems amused...

Alex Pettyfer is here to brighten our day

2011-09-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

Here's Alex Pettyfer showing his abs at "Magic Mike" set. A movie about strippers with a cast that also includes Joe Manganiello, Alex Pettyfer, Matt Bomer, Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum. I don't know about you, ladies, but this movie had me at "hello". Reminding everyone of you that this could be in 3D (hell! 4D, so we can smell the sweat of Manganiello's arm picks!) I say we're gonna be having a LOT of bachelorette/divorce parties beginning and ending in movie theaters all over the world ...

Pippa Middleton is tired of having her ass photographed

2011-09-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

Photo Credits

Tired of having her ass photographed, Pippa Middleton decided to lose her underwear at the Temperley Fashion Show in London and show the world her Brazilian Waxing. I don't know about the wiseness of this decision, but it sure is distracting me from that ugly (ugly!) dress.

[UPDATE] Actually, Pippa has the ability to tighten her thighs, making them look like a vagina, while wearing panties. Who said "royalty" (even if just related) aren't resourceful people?

This is the closest Clooney will get to marriage

2011-09-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

George Clooney is, without question, the king of cool/sexy/funny tv commercials. We already knew that. But the team that came up with the concept for this one for a Norwegian bank just took it to another level. So, I advise Stacey Kiebler to see it over and over again, because this is also the closest she will get to fulfill her fantasy...

Paz de la Huerta is a natural beauty

2011-09-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Paz de la Huerta was probably so drunk at Boardwalk Empire premiere that she must have put at least ten layers of lip liner. It's not like she's even trying anymore. Maybe she came to her senses after realizing her night always ends the same way: in some bed, having wild sex...with a bag over her head.

Mr. Uncool of the week

2011-09-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

And the award goes to...Brad Pitt. Twice.
First he puts a finger on a bruise by mentioning his marriage to Jennifer Aniston in the latest issue of Parade Magazine:

“I spent the ‘90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony. I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic. It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself. I think that my marriage [to Aniston] had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.

I guess when Angelina Jolie and her chubby lips took him shopping to Blow.me.ngdales the dullness was gone...

This could have been it. Women all over the world, mostly Aniston's fans, nodded their heads with disapproval, shouting out loud "Not cool, Brad!". But after a few days, his awesomeness that raises him above ordinary men would take its natural course.

He could have let it go easily but then he made a crucial mistake. He issued a statement to Hollywood Reporter clarifying his kind words about his 5-year marriage to Aniston:

"It grieves me that this was interpreted this way. Jen is an incredibly giving, loving and hilarious woman who remains my friend. It is an important relationship I value greatly. The point I was trying to make is not that Jen was dull, but that I was becoming dull to myself -- and that, I am responsible for.

What he didn't realize is that a woman's brain processes these words in only one sentence:

"The problem was not you. It was meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

...and like that he miserably came tumbling from his awesomeness pedestal of decades with a sentence that reduced him to the essence of an ordinary man.

I find it amusing that this comes out of his mouth now that Jennifer Aniston might have found someone like Theroux that actually seems everything but dull. Now I look at you, Mr. Pitt, posing with what seems a pijama with both thumbs up and I must say I'm bored. I find it quite..dull, in fact.

Katie Holmes and daughter Suri are fashion opposites...

2011-09-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

Suri: Mommy, why don't you make an effort to get some fashion sense? Do we have to go to the "mixing patterns" lesson once more?

Katie Holmes: Young lady, if you don't shut your mouth I'm ripping your ear off! And you don't get to wear heels anymore!

Elisabetta Canalis continues her saga to stay low profile...

2011-09-09T12:53:00.000-07:00

Elisabetta Canalis got naked for...PETA. At least it is for a good cause and here I am speaking about her again. So her plan to get some peace in the U.S. is working. She's staying low profile. She got SO naked for tihs campaign, she actually got rid of her tattoos!!
But I have to say she has one hell of a body! Maybe Clooney is having second thoughts about this...

Harper Seven is too cute for cameras

2011-09-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Here's Victoria Beckham, back in her Louboutins and already a size zero (!!) making her way to NY Fashion Week with her best "accessory" ever. How cute is Harper?

photo credits

Elisabetta Canalis moves to L.A to get some peace...

2011-09-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

After splitting from George Clooney, Elisabetta Canalis found herself in a world with no red carpets to attend, no spotlights and, what is worst, no Clooney. She describes her life after ~~being dumped~~ the breakup as a living hell in Europe. So she moved to the U.S., more precisely to L.A.

"The end of a relationship is complicated," she admitted. "I went to the United States, because at the moment I could no longer face the world. Watching my life being dissected was not easy for me." (US Weekly)

Yes, Canalis, welcome to L.A. the land of paparazzi. No chance for your life being dissected here. A land where even mediocre celebrities still have a chance to be shot running errands or be contestants in Dancing with the stars. Oh, you've got that already. Good for you.

Funny that new George's hook up, Stacy Keibler was also a DWTS contestant. So Canalis is kind of making the same path, but in reverse...

Great Scott! This post is for "Back to the future" fans!

2011-09-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

Who else LOVES Back to the Future trilogy? Remember that self-lacing Nike sneakers from Back to the future, part II? So, Nike designer Tinker Hatfield, who created the power-lacing, self-illuminating, Nike MAG, worn by Michael J. Fox, back in 1989, decided to rebuilt the famous shoe, with the help of footwear innovator Tiffany Beers. It took a long time but it was totally worth it. If you recall, McFly wore the shoes in 2015. So, this version has a lot of features but it is still not self -lacing. I guess we have to wait.

What is cool is that there are only 1,500 pairs and they are being auctioned to benefit Michael J. Fox foundation. I think it's a great idea. What would also be a great idea is for some charitable soul to get one pair for me.

According to Nike

...they are not recommended for playing sports, these highly limited shoes will very likely command attention wherever they are worn.

These highly limited shoes would be perfect on my feet! I would wear them bare naked.

Check out this cool sneaker promo and learn more about it here.

The Avengers movie looks promising...

2011-09-08T09:29:00.000-07:00

The only thing that can drive me to see a movie based on a Marvel character is this or this. So when I see these three hanging out together I can only imagine the dialogue:

Jeremy Renner: Why do I have the feeling this movie's gonna suck?
Scarlett Johansson: At least we look hot. Check out the dork with the blue costume behind us.

Superman loses his red pants. Good!

2011-09-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

Thank God there are people providing us with leaked photos from Henry Cavill as superman. We can now see this new Superman costume was designed by a very tasteful designer that made sure that the horrible red panties were out of our way (because the new superman is Henry Cavill) and we can now all see Superman has a new power that not even kryptonite will kill. In fact, I'm wondering how this new power will be disguised when he's Clark Kent. You know, women will figure it out, men will recognize him easily...

So, I'm loving this new suit and thank God every movie nowadays is in 3D...

photos via

Kim, Kourtney & Khloe take...pregnancy. This show might happen...

2011-09-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

I'm almost sorry that my ~~laziness~~ lack of time didn't bring you a post about Kim Kardashian's wedding. Maybe because I was almost sure she would back down at the last minute for realizing that this dude has nothing to do with her. But I guess... business is business and mom Kris Jenner would make sure she would attend this event, even if it meant mocking her in the head and use her wax figure for pictures. Nobody would have noticed. The so called wedding of the year was soon forgotten and only lasted about 1 a.m. The wedding dress was as boring as the groom and for the first time Kim wore something that didn't emphasize her butt. This event, however, made the Kardashians more than 17 million.

And because I can only picture Kris Jenner shouting in her phone "show me the moneeeeey!" to every living soul that wants a piece of her golden girls, I can only imagine her trembling eyes when USWeekly implanted the right idea on Kim's mind:

What would Kim think if she got pregnant at the same time as Kourtney -- who has a 20-month-old son Mason -- and Khloe? "That would be a dream!" she gushed to Us Weekly Wednesday night at her Welcome to NYC party thrown by Jason Binn and Colin Cowie. "All three of us pregnant at the same time? That would be amazing!"

If only two of them get this task done, I'm sure they can put a miscarriage (with all the drama involved) on the other one...

I'm thinking, if this actually happened, Kris Jenner would collapse.

So, and what about this ~~Rembrandt portrait~~ picture taken by photographer Annie Leibovitz? Not a scent of photoshop involved here. Don't you think?... This is from the Kardashian Kollection (with lots and lots of animal print) that will be available at Sears. Jezzz! Kollection? Are they only doing things where they can replace a C for a K. How about a Kolonoscopy Kampaign?

photos via

Katy Perry is going to look back at this and cry

2011-08-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

Katty Perry is extravagant as we all know. A walking candy, I might add. We are used to it and sometimes she looks great. But if you're running for the video of the year award and you're currently using pink hair, there might be a chance that a big yellow cube on top of your head is going to look...(how can I say this)...oddly ridiculous (even if it's Dior's...). If you add to it exactly what she wore, there might be a chance that, 20 years from now, she's gonna look back at this and cry and wonder why. Why? Then she's gonna remember she also married Russel Brand, back then. So, it could have been worse...

Jersey Shore girls keep it classy at the 2011 MTV video music awards

2011-08-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

JWoww and Snooki made their triumphal entrance at the VMAs red carpet under what seemed a disapproving eye of Sammi (because she's a classy girl...). Although the girls were as orange and glittery as they could possibly be, I must say I was a bit disappointed at Snooki and Sammi for actually looking...well. Sammi almost looked like a Kardashian sister. Then I saw Deena Cortese, looking like she swallowed a colorful parrot and was ready to samba at Rio's carnival, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

As for JWoww, there are no words for this makeup. And I don't know what you've been doing but your smile looks wider...

The evolution of Harry Potter fans...

2011-07-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

Photo Credits

"You're grounded young lady!..."

After 10 years and eight films, the Harry Potter saga has reached its end, so it seems. With it, a legion of avid young fans have grown throughout the years. And if there was a time where they were more innocent, showing their affection for the "boys" of Harry Potter, that time also came to an end...

Here come the Queens of Style

2011-07-12T08:16:00.000-07:00

Photo Credits

Pinch me, 'cause it must be 1985...

Anytime soon Michael J Fox will jump off the DeLorean from Back to the Future and warn these two their daughters are in grave danger. One is becoming an alcoholic and choking with a pickle and the other is...hurting my eyes.

Well, seriously, if I can get serious with these two, (Pause- is it possible they have matching t-shirts stamped with their own faces?...) here are Snooki Polizzi and Deena Cortese filming season five of Jersey Shore , back in Seaside Heights, New Jersey.

Fame is a primal instinct

2011-07-10T02:29:00.000-07:00

This is a crested black macaque in Indonesia, extremely rare and critically endangered. He stole a wildlife photographer's (David Slater) camera to take pictures of himself when he left his camera unattended for a while.

As the photographer explained, it seems the primate became fascinated with its own reflection in the lens:

"One of them must have accidentally knocked the camera and set it off because the sound caused a bit of a frenzy.
"At first there was a lot of grimacing with their teeth showing because it was probably the first time they had ever seen a reflection.
"They were quite mischievous jumping all over my equipment, and it looked like they were already posing for the camera when one hit the button."

How odd is nature,huh? And how strangely this behavior resembles human reality...Now, every time a "celebrity" tweets a pictures of herself, sometimes "accidentally" naked, I'll remember this Indonesian monkey that one day knew fame while snapping a picture of himself, bare naked.

I now realize that, like the monkey, these celebrities become fascinated to see their own reflexion...on the iPhone screen. Being a fame hore is a primal instinct after all.

I must say I'm fascinated. Now that Vinny has left Jersey Shore, I suggest they make this monkey a member of the cast. Don't worry, we won't even see the difference...

You have got to be kidding me! Awesome!!!

The Beckhams remind us that everything they do, they do it better than you

2011-07-10T01:31:00.000-07:00

If you think for one second Victoria Beckham would be a common pregnant woman, battling with weight and swollen feet at the end of pregnancy, and be caught off guard by any camera not looking awesome, you're obviously wrong. This is Victoria. Her posh sensors make her be allert to look awesome twenty four seven.

This pic was tweeted by husband David on his facebook with the comment:

“Took this pic of Victoria while she wasn’t looking. She looks amazing, so close now to the baby being born!”

To complete the portrait of an awesome couple that seems to be immune to a plague that easily spreads in Hollywood, called divorce, Victoria also used Facebook to post a pic of her husband being awesome at surf.

And this was the moment Victoria realized their awesomeness could only be complete if their baby girl could be in a custom made Louboutin's the moment she jumps out of her uterus. Now that would be awesome...

Chelsea Handler wore this

2011-07-01T11:11:00.000-07:00

Chelsea Handler was also at the Horrible Bosses premiere, being such a close friend of Jennifer Aniston. Maybe to keep up with the movie title...Horrible..., she wore this dress. Maybe she borrowed the dress from Paz de la Huerta and transformed it, making the butt crack be in the front now.I don't know. It's ugly.